Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 15 - Pizza Deliverance/Horse Girl - full transcript

(country music playing)

Good Morning, Miss Debbie!

I hope you
and Miss Debbie Junior

had a good night's rest.

Rise and shine chickens.

Breakfast is served Pierre.

Ah, nothing fills my heart
with more joy

than being with an animal.

I can't think of a single animal
I couldn't love.

Ow! What is that?

(neighs)



(screams)

Stay back,
don't come any closer!

Tilly, I see you've met
Butterscotch!

I borrowed her from the stables
for the day.

Papa, you got a horse?

Actually, since Butterscotch

is a female
under the age of four,

we'd call her a filly.

Hey! That rhymes with Tilly!

(laughs)

Oh, I think y'all
will do just fine.

I mean, just look at that
majestic creature!

Uh...

(flies buzzing)



(coughs)

Actually, Papa,

horses are the only creature

in the entire animal kingdom

with whom I do not vibe.

I just don't like 'em.

Never have, never will.

Oh, I see.

I just thought
since you love animals,

we could bond over
a shared passion

and have a magical day that made
all of our dreams come true.

(sobs)

Was that stupid?

-(sobs)
- Oh dear.

Uh, just kidding!
(forced chuckle)

- Of course, I love horses!
- Really?

What am I,
some kind of horse-hating freak

that would destroy
all your dreams?

(forced laugh)

Ah, whew!

I shoulda known you were joking!

Oh! The three of us
are gonna have

the best day ever!

Uh, may I have a moment with uh,

was it Blubbercough?

It's Butterscotch,
and of course!

I'll let you two get acquainted.

(giggles)

-(snorts)
- All right.

Let's get one thing straight.

You don't want to mess with me.

I may look like a humble child,

but I've conquered
one of your kind

in battle before,

and I'll do it again!

-(neighs)
-(screams)

I see our feelings
for each other are mutual.

But, for Papa's sake,

we'll need to pretend
that we are...

(shudders)

...friends.

(Cricket grunting)

No signal here.

- Cricket!
- Whoa.

-(thud)
- Sorry, bud!

I'm supposed to video chat
with Gabriella today,

but I can't get any
dang internet connection!

Tell me about it!

The service on your farm
is so spotty.

Vasquez has been
frozen like this for ages!

Remy, you were using video?

You're gonna clog up the lines!

(groans)
Why doesn't my mini TV work?

I'm trying to watch
Oddly Satisfying videos,

but they won't load!

They were gonna squish a pie!

Ha, fine, whatever.

I'm gonna go try to find
a better connection.

Gabi, wait for me!

Come on!
Get to the satisfying part!

Butterscotch! Tilly!

Who's ready to have
the best day ever?

- We are. Yay.
-(neighs)

Oh, I'm so happy,
I could just sing about it.

And I will!

♪ This day is just so perfect ♪

♪ All my dreams
are coming true! ♪

♪ This puts the mare
in nightmare ♪

♪ But try is what I'll do ♪

♪ Whatever could be better
than Tilly, a filly, and me! ♪

♪ Nothing is worse than a horse
they're my only enemy! ♪

♪ Such a special creature ♪

♪ I can't peel my eyes
from you! ♪

♪ I've tried
but it's not working ♪

♪ Did I just step in--ew! ♪

BILLY:
♪ Whatever could be better ♪

♪ Than Tilly, a filly, and me! ♪

♪ Nothing is worse than a horse
they're my only enemy! ♪

♪ Yes, Tilly, a filly
Tilly, a filly ♪

BILLY:
♪ Tilly, a filly and me! ♪

TILLY: ♪ No, Tilly and a filly
can't be! ♪

Ah! Having a horse around

has been better
than I ever imagined!

If things keep going this well,

I might just keep Butterscotch

on the farm with us forever!

(happy neighing)

Forever?

Um, uh, now hold on, Papa.

As much as I adore Butterscotch,

she is a rather enormous animal.

- We have a cow.
- Uh, well,

we wouldn't want to tire
Butterscotch out.

- Well, she's fine.
-(munching)

But can we trust her?!

(giggles) Oh. Hmm.

Can I trust her?

With my life!

Come here, girl!

-(neighs)
- Wow! Hoo-hoo!

Papa has been blinded
by horse-colored glasses.

I gotta find a way

to make him
get rid of Butterscotch,

before we're stuck with her
permanently!

Tilly, why don't the three of us
go on a picnic?

- You hungry?
- As a matter of fact,

I do have an appetite
for sabotage!

Come on, come on.

I can't get a dang signal.

What's your Wi-Fi password?!

Try again.

Uh, hello, Patti.

Can I use y'all's Wi-Fi please?

I really need to video chat
with my girlfriend.

Check out the sign.

CRICKET: "No Wi-Fi,

- Yes try pie?"
- No internet here.

Diners are meant to be
a community gathering place,

where folks actually talk
to one another.

Patti, I tried using the pie.

Nope, still not
getting a signal.

And now my tablet's all sticky.

Ugh, where can I get some
stinking Wi-Fi in this town?

(slurps)
Well, thanks for the pie.

Bye, Patti.

BILL: What a beautiful day!

We got our delicious food,

and my two special angels.

I'm just gonna capture
this moment with my heart.

Say "sisters!"

- Sisters.
-(neighs)

Beautiful!

Wow, there are so many clouds
out today.

That cloud's shaped
like a heart.

That cloud's shaped
like a horse!

Huh, that cloud looks
a little bit like a kidney.

Oh no!

The carrots are nowhere
to be found!

(gasps) What?

Those are Butterscotch's
favorite!

Oh, I see them down
at the bottom of the hill.

Would you go
fetch them for us, Papa?

Of course!

You two sit tight.

Thanks, Papa!

My plan is underway.

Getting rid of Papa
was step one.

- And this is step two!
-(confused neigh)

Papa won't want to keep you
once he sees

all the destruction
you've caused.

(squishes)

(cackles)

(scared neighing)

I found the carrots!

Papa! Oh, my gosh,

- Butterscotch just went crazy!
-(gasps)

Our picnic is ruined!

(angry neighing)

Butterscotch!

I can't believe she did this.

I guess this can only mean
one thing.

We have to send her back
to the stables

before she causes
any more trouble?

Aw, poor Butterscotch.

It means she's acting out

because she senses
the day's almost over

- and she doesn't want to leave!
- Wait, what?

Butterscotch, don't worry about
ruining this picnic.

There will be many more!

Because starting now,
I've decided,

Butterscotch is going
to live with us forever!

- Uh, what?!
-(happy neighing)

I know. I'm just as thrilled
as you are, Tilly.

I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get
more picnic supplies.

I can't wait to share the news!

The Greens have a horse!
Hee-hee!

Not on my watch.

(snorts)

Wi-Fi...

(crackling)

LUPITA: Cricket?

Are you okay?

Lupita! What are you making?

A time machine.

What are you doing
all the way out here?

I'm trying to get
an internet connection.

Does your time machine
have Wi-Fi?

Nope, nope. But I might have
something that can help.

Aha! There it is!

My Wi-Fi signal booster!

There are lots of videos online
that show you how to make them.

Which I couldn't watch
so I kinda just winged it!

I mean, it looks like
it does something.

Ooh, I'll try anything! Gimme!

-(electricity shocks)
-(screams)

Ooh, I meant to warn you
not to grab that end.

I think your best bet
is to try that cell tower.

But you'll have to hurry!

It looks like a storm's coming.

Thanks, Lupita.

(groans) You're a lifesaver!

Good luck!

Wait for me Gabriella!

-(thunder rumbling)
- I can't believe

Papa wants to keep you
around forever.

There is no way

- I'm gonna let that happen.
-(neighs)

You may have Papa fooled,

but I see right through you.

Underneath your fancy
nail-on shoes

and your high-maintenance
salon hairdo,

you're nothing
but a hay-eating monster!

-(blows raspberry)
- You watch your language.

(water rushing)

With Papa gone,
I can finally speak my truth.

I hate horses!

-(Billy gasps)
-(gasps)

Papa? How much did you hear?

Just the last part.

Ugh! That's the worst part.

You hate horses?

Papa, I--

I thought this was
our best day ever--

-(screams)
-(gasps)

- Papa!
-(neighs)

-(thunder rumbling)
- CRICKET: Gabriella.

I'm coming.

(groans)

Come on.

Just need a signal.

- Huh?
-(beeps)

Yes! Finally!

Oh, my gosh. I have so much
to tell Gabriella.

Gabriella!

Cricket!

Hi.

Well, great catching up
with you!

Yeah, let's talk again soon.

- Bye!
- GABRIELLA: Bye!

That was amazing!

With her, I feel like

I can just talk
and talk forever.

And hey,
since I finally got service...

(machine whirring)

Ooh, that is oddly satisfying.

(panicked breathing)

(gasps)

The water's too strong!

How am I gonna save Papa?

If only I were taller
and had more muscles--

and an extra pair of legs
would be nice actually,

- and uh--oh.
-(footsteps approaching)

(neighing)

Ugh. Looks like
we gotta work together.

Come here, Butterscotch.

Come on, girl.

(disapproving neighs)

No, you come here.

Uh, no you--

Uh... Help?

Ugh, let's go, Tilly.

Ride the monster for Papa.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Ugh! Just go!

-(neighs)
-(screams)

(branch breaking)

Hang on!

The water's too high!

We need something to reach Papa.

- Oh!
- Papa! Catch!

(screams)

(grunting)

(breathing heavily)

Papa!

Tilly, you saved me!

I did.

And Butterscotch did, too.

Papa, I'm sorry this day
didn't go how you wanted.

The fact is,
I do not like horses.

But that shouldn't
get in the way of your joy.

What matters is,
you like Butterscotch,

Butterscotch likes you.

So if you want to keep her,

that's all right by me.

Just make sure
to build her stable

far far away from my room.

All right Tilly, I understand.

Although, you might
change your mind

once you see these
matching hats I made.

(harp music playing)

Don't push it, Papa.

SINGER:
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
in seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪