Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 13 - Pie Hard/Rat Tail - full transcript
Gramma challenges the local diner owner to a "pie-off" to see whose pie is Tilly's favorite. Nancy tries to get Cricket to cut off his new rat tail without admitting that she hates it.
Awfully nice of you
to make eggs for everyone, Tilly.
"Everyone"?
Cricket, come down for breakfast.
Everybody, your attention, please!
Henceforth, Cricket Green's official look
will feature a bold new accessory.
Cricket, The T word
is not suitable for breakfast attire.
Oh, lighten up, Bill.
Cricket's expressing himself.
Thank you, Mother.
You always get what I'm going for.
Kids need to try new things.
I love your new look.
Well, actually,
this hat isn't my new look.
I just wore it
so I can dramatically reveal...
my rat tail!
- Oh...
- My...
(shudders) Guh...
Yeah, I've been secretly
growing this out for months.
It's both stylish and useful.
Observe! Excuse me, Miss.
Salt and pepper for your eggs? (grunts)
Hmm. They're perfect.
The tensile strength
on this baby is impressive.
That rattail is a true marvel.
Well done, son.
What about you, Mom?
What do you think of my rattail?
It's... different.
(chuckles) It sure is.
Bill, a word.
Okay, Bill, what are we going to do
about that rattail?
What's the problem? It's fine.
-(groans)
- Hey, weren't you the one
who just told me
to let Cricket "express" himself?
Are you sure you're not the one
who has a problem
- with Cricket's rattail?
- Fine. Yes!
I hate everything about it.
Even the name is disgusting.
"Rat tail." (shudders)
I should be supportive.
But if I tell him how I really feel,
I'd be just like my dad.
He always criticized me.
Hey, Dad, what do you think
of my new look?
Pretty cool, huh?
Pfft. Too big.
But it's oversized fashion.
Wah-wah!
You look like an idiot in those pants.
(whimpers)
His harsh criticism made me not like him.
I don't want Cricket to dislike me.
Oh, I know!
What if you told him
the rattail looks bad?
Oh, no. Don't rope me into this.
The way I see it, you've got two choices.
Tell Cricket how you really feel...
(groans)
...or learn to live with it.
(groans)
Sorry, Nance. It's one or the other.
Good luck!
Unless there's a third way.
(evil laugh)
- There's no third way!
- We'll see...
(Gramma humming) Hotcha!
Hm, not bad.
Morning, Mrs. Green. Whoa!
What kind of game are you playing?
"Game"? This ain't no game.
This, Remy, is knitting.
Ooh!
- Here! Now, try to follow along.
- Okay!
The sacred art of knitting
can take a lifetime to learn.
In fact, mastering
even the simplest stitches
- can often take a person--
- REMY: Done!
I make a kitty.
What? How'd you do that so fast?
I don't know,
but it could be because of these
gamer thumbs!
Stomping noobs gives me max dexterity.
Hmm...
Wait here one second.
The prophecy foretold I would one day find
a student worthy of this.
Remy Remington, you are the chosen one!
- I am?
- In accordance with ancient yarn law,
it is my duty to forge you
into a knitting master.
Let the training commence!
(squeals)
CRICKET: So, why did you
bring me into town, Mom?
Oh, I just thought it'd be fun to visit
our favorite place, the barber shop!
Eh?
Look at all these fresh styles.
Ooh, kind of makes you want to just
change your whole look, right?
Pfft! These are all ridiculous.
Nothing's as sophisticated as my rattail.
(chuckles) Yeah, good point.
(gasps) Say, there's the barber.
Let's see what an expert thinks
of your rattail.
Great idea. Hey, clipper man,
watch this!
Ee-ee-ee-ee!
Oh, my.
Yeah. Say you hate it.
It's perfect!
Everyone, come witness the boy
with the hair of an angel!
- Oh, I have to see this!
-(crowd exclaiming)
Son, that's the greatest thing
I've ever seen.
Oh, you're too kind.
Excuse me, sir.
I'm with the Hairstyle Gazette,
and I must shoot you for the cover.
- What do you say?
- If you insist.
Brilliant. Perfect.
Yup! Yes, sir.
Hey, you. give me that haircut.
I don't care what it costs.
I just gotta have it!
Okay, this is not helping.
CRICKET:
All right, everybody, one at a time.
You all get a chance to touch the tail.
Huh? Whoa! What? Hey!
What gives, Mom?
That crowd was getting too dangerous.
- Really, 'cause--
- Hang on!
-(tires squeal)
- CROWD: Aww...
Dang! They really liked my rattail.
Yup, they sure did.
(grunts)
All right, Remy,
are you ready to be transformed
from a doughy ball of yarn
into a beautiful sweater of a man?
That sounds lovely!
Let's knit to it!
-(grunts)
- Keep doing.
Power through those cramps!
Sneaky... beanie...
Surprise!
(grunts)
Scarf bomb Think fast! (grunts)
(grunts)
An infinity scarf. Hm. He is ready.
You have done well, my student.
Now, at long last, it is time for you
to take on the challenge
of the perfect glove.
"The perfect glove"? What's that?
A nearly impossible feat.
In all my days,
I've never gotten it right.
I always keep making them
with five fingers by mistake.
The perfect glove, huh?
Ha. How hard can it be? Ow!
- Hey!
- Be warned, Remy.
This path can break
even the toughest of yarnies.
If you're not careful,
the task will unravel your brain!
(gasps) No!
If a way exists, I will find it.
Okay, Nancy, think.
There's got to be a way
I can make Cricket decide
to cut the rattail on his own.
Citizen, you need to evacuate.
The moon is going to explode
in five minutes!
"Five minutes"?
But that's barely enough time
to drink this delicious
and refreshing Splish.
Oh, what a shameless plug.
Who in their right mind
would fall for something like--
Hey, Dad, do we have any Splish?
Hmm. So my son is influenced
by subliminal messages, huh?
(snipping)
Hey, Cricket.
Remy asked me to cut this yarn right here,
but I couldn't see the tail end
of why he needed them.
(chuckles)
So here I am. Cut, cut, cutting,
rat now.
- Tail.
- Huh.
Something on your mind, son?
I think I just realized
something about my rattail.
Hmm. I'll be back in a bit.
Whoo-hoo!
I successfully manipulated my son.
(chuckles) Doesn't sound great
when you say it out loud.
(dreamy music plays)
-(sighs)
- CRICKET: Hey, Mom?
Oh, Cricket.
What's going on, bud?
Well, actually, I've been thinking.
All that weird stuff you said about yarn
made me realize something.
As much as I might not want to admit it,
that rattail just wasn't me.
But this one is! (grunts)
NANCY: Oh, oh, oh, gosh.
Wow. I don't-- No!
CRICKET: Impressive, right?
I got Remy to lengthen it with his yarn.
So, what do you think?
L-long.
You're darn right.
Long enough to jump rope, I bet.
Did someone say "jump rope"?
Sure did, sister.
♪ Oooh, rattail, rattail on a rat! ♪
-♪ On a head ♪
-♪ Without a hat ♪
BOTH: ♪ R-A-T-T-A-I-L ♪
♪ Now it's time to ring the bell ♪
BOTH: Good night.
This can't be happening.
NICK: Oh, but it is, Nancy.
This rattail is just gonna get worse.
Tell him, Nancy.
Tell him he looks like an idiot.
(cackles)
Ahhh! (grunts)
Wow, she must really hate bells.
Hey, Remy,
how's that perfect glove coming?
(gasps) What in the world?
I can't... stop.
(groans)
I'm sorry. I couldn't do it.
Oh, no worries, Remy.
It's just too hard.
I thought you might be the one.
"The one." "The one." That's it.
- I understand it now!
-(gasps) Remy!
It was never about four or five fingers.
It was about one.
One thread. One piece of yarn.
I see everything.
Weaving together.
The single thread that binds this world.
Remy! You... you did it.
You are the true knitting master.
And this is for you.
(gasps) My liege.
Congratulations!
This is the best day of my life!
Eh. We need something to get those down.
Cricket, we need your rattail!
-(bell jingles)
- CRICKET: Coming!
(thunder crashes)
Everything I tried failed.
I'm gonna have to live with that thing
for the rest of my life.
Oh, I just don't know what to do.
Tell him his rattail stinks.
Dad?
- Do it, Nancy.
Criticize him,
just like I did to you!
Never. I'm not like you!
(evil laugh)
No. Only one thing I can do now.
All right, you horrible creature,
any last words before I snip snip?
-(jingles)
- My rattail. Nyeah. Nyeah.
(grunts) Ow! Ow!
Wait. Mom? What are you doing?
Well, I-- Aww.
Scissors? (gasps) Wait a second.
Were you thinking of cutting my rattail?
- No, I'd never--
- Admit it!
(groans) Yes. Okay,
I was gonna cut your rattail.
It's the most hideous thing
I've ever seen in my life!
Okay, first of all, ouch.
Why didn't you just tell me you hated it?
-(sighs) I'm sorry, Cricket.
-(bell jingles)
I just didn't want you
to see me as one of those harsh,
overly critical parents
like my dad was with me.
So you'd rather sneak up and cut my hair
in the middle of the night
than be honest with me?
Yeah. Sorry.
You disapproving of me once in a while
ain't gonna stop me from thinking
you're an awesome mom.
Plus, Dad disapproves of me all the time,
but I still like him.
(chuckles) Thanks, Cricket.
Just be real with me, okay?
I promise.
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo!
Mother and son reunited.
You know, to be honest,
I was kind of getting bored
of this thing anyway.
It's time to move on to a new look.
Check it. The mullet.
Son, I hate it.
Now, that's more like it.
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and
Scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by dogs licked by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪
to make eggs for everyone, Tilly.
"Everyone"?
Cricket, come down for breakfast.
Everybody, your attention, please!
Henceforth, Cricket Green's official look
will feature a bold new accessory.
Cricket, The T word
is not suitable for breakfast attire.
Oh, lighten up, Bill.
Cricket's expressing himself.
Thank you, Mother.
You always get what I'm going for.
Kids need to try new things.
I love your new look.
Well, actually,
this hat isn't my new look.
I just wore it
so I can dramatically reveal...
my rat tail!
- Oh...
- My...
(shudders) Guh...
Yeah, I've been secretly
growing this out for months.
It's both stylish and useful.
Observe! Excuse me, Miss.
Salt and pepper for your eggs? (grunts)
Hmm. They're perfect.
The tensile strength
on this baby is impressive.
That rattail is a true marvel.
Well done, son.
What about you, Mom?
What do you think of my rattail?
It's... different.
(chuckles) It sure is.
Bill, a word.
Okay, Bill, what are we going to do
about that rattail?
What's the problem? It's fine.
-(groans)
- Hey, weren't you the one
who just told me
to let Cricket "express" himself?
Are you sure you're not the one
who has a problem
- with Cricket's rattail?
- Fine. Yes!
I hate everything about it.
Even the name is disgusting.
"Rat tail." (shudders)
I should be supportive.
But if I tell him how I really feel,
I'd be just like my dad.
He always criticized me.
Hey, Dad, what do you think
of my new look?
Pretty cool, huh?
Pfft. Too big.
But it's oversized fashion.
Wah-wah!
You look like an idiot in those pants.
(whimpers)
His harsh criticism made me not like him.
I don't want Cricket to dislike me.
Oh, I know!
What if you told him
the rattail looks bad?
Oh, no. Don't rope me into this.
The way I see it, you've got two choices.
Tell Cricket how you really feel...
(groans)
...or learn to live with it.
(groans)
Sorry, Nance. It's one or the other.
Good luck!
Unless there's a third way.
(evil laugh)
- There's no third way!
- We'll see...
(Gramma humming) Hotcha!
Hm, not bad.
Morning, Mrs. Green. Whoa!
What kind of game are you playing?
"Game"? This ain't no game.
This, Remy, is knitting.
Ooh!
- Here! Now, try to follow along.
- Okay!
The sacred art of knitting
can take a lifetime to learn.
In fact, mastering
even the simplest stitches
- can often take a person--
- REMY: Done!
I make a kitty.
What? How'd you do that so fast?
I don't know,
but it could be because of these
gamer thumbs!
Stomping noobs gives me max dexterity.
Hmm...
Wait here one second.
The prophecy foretold I would one day find
a student worthy of this.
Remy Remington, you are the chosen one!
- I am?
- In accordance with ancient yarn law,
it is my duty to forge you
into a knitting master.
Let the training commence!
(squeals)
CRICKET: So, why did you
bring me into town, Mom?
Oh, I just thought it'd be fun to visit
our favorite place, the barber shop!
Eh?
Look at all these fresh styles.
Ooh, kind of makes you want to just
change your whole look, right?
Pfft! These are all ridiculous.
Nothing's as sophisticated as my rattail.
(chuckles) Yeah, good point.
(gasps) Say, there's the barber.
Let's see what an expert thinks
of your rattail.
Great idea. Hey, clipper man,
watch this!
Ee-ee-ee-ee!
Oh, my.
Yeah. Say you hate it.
It's perfect!
Everyone, come witness the boy
with the hair of an angel!
- Oh, I have to see this!
-(crowd exclaiming)
Son, that's the greatest thing
I've ever seen.
Oh, you're too kind.
Excuse me, sir.
I'm with the Hairstyle Gazette,
and I must shoot you for the cover.
- What do you say?
- If you insist.
Brilliant. Perfect.
Yup! Yes, sir.
Hey, you. give me that haircut.
I don't care what it costs.
I just gotta have it!
Okay, this is not helping.
CRICKET:
All right, everybody, one at a time.
You all get a chance to touch the tail.
Huh? Whoa! What? Hey!
What gives, Mom?
That crowd was getting too dangerous.
- Really, 'cause--
- Hang on!
-(tires squeal)
- CROWD: Aww...
Dang! They really liked my rattail.
Yup, they sure did.
(grunts)
All right, Remy,
are you ready to be transformed
from a doughy ball of yarn
into a beautiful sweater of a man?
That sounds lovely!
Let's knit to it!
-(grunts)
- Keep doing.
Power through those cramps!
Sneaky... beanie...
Surprise!
(grunts)
Scarf bomb Think fast! (grunts)
(grunts)
An infinity scarf. Hm. He is ready.
You have done well, my student.
Now, at long last, it is time for you
to take on the challenge
of the perfect glove.
"The perfect glove"? What's that?
A nearly impossible feat.
In all my days,
I've never gotten it right.
I always keep making them
with five fingers by mistake.
The perfect glove, huh?
Ha. How hard can it be? Ow!
- Hey!
- Be warned, Remy.
This path can break
even the toughest of yarnies.
If you're not careful,
the task will unravel your brain!
(gasps) No!
If a way exists, I will find it.
Okay, Nancy, think.
There's got to be a way
I can make Cricket decide
to cut the rattail on his own.
Citizen, you need to evacuate.
The moon is going to explode
in five minutes!
"Five minutes"?
But that's barely enough time
to drink this delicious
and refreshing Splish.
Oh, what a shameless plug.
Who in their right mind
would fall for something like--
Hey, Dad, do we have any Splish?
Hmm. So my son is influenced
by subliminal messages, huh?
(snipping)
Hey, Cricket.
Remy asked me to cut this yarn right here,
but I couldn't see the tail end
of why he needed them.
(chuckles)
So here I am. Cut, cut, cutting,
rat now.
- Tail.
- Huh.
Something on your mind, son?
I think I just realized
something about my rattail.
Hmm. I'll be back in a bit.
Whoo-hoo!
I successfully manipulated my son.
(chuckles) Doesn't sound great
when you say it out loud.
(dreamy music plays)
-(sighs)
- CRICKET: Hey, Mom?
Oh, Cricket.
What's going on, bud?
Well, actually, I've been thinking.
All that weird stuff you said about yarn
made me realize something.
As much as I might not want to admit it,
that rattail just wasn't me.
But this one is! (grunts)
NANCY: Oh, oh, oh, gosh.
Wow. I don't-- No!
CRICKET: Impressive, right?
I got Remy to lengthen it with his yarn.
So, what do you think?
L-long.
You're darn right.
Long enough to jump rope, I bet.
Did someone say "jump rope"?
Sure did, sister.
♪ Oooh, rattail, rattail on a rat! ♪
-♪ On a head ♪
-♪ Without a hat ♪
BOTH: ♪ R-A-T-T-A-I-L ♪
♪ Now it's time to ring the bell ♪
BOTH: Good night.
This can't be happening.
NICK: Oh, but it is, Nancy.
This rattail is just gonna get worse.
Tell him, Nancy.
Tell him he looks like an idiot.
(cackles)
Ahhh! (grunts)
Wow, she must really hate bells.
Hey, Remy,
how's that perfect glove coming?
(gasps) What in the world?
I can't... stop.
(groans)
I'm sorry. I couldn't do it.
Oh, no worries, Remy.
It's just too hard.
I thought you might be the one.
"The one." "The one." That's it.
- I understand it now!
-(gasps) Remy!
It was never about four or five fingers.
It was about one.
One thread. One piece of yarn.
I see everything.
Weaving together.
The single thread that binds this world.
Remy! You... you did it.
You are the true knitting master.
And this is for you.
(gasps) My liege.
Congratulations!
This is the best day of my life!
Eh. We need something to get those down.
Cricket, we need your rattail!
-(bell jingles)
- CRICKET: Coming!
(thunder crashes)
Everything I tried failed.
I'm gonna have to live with that thing
for the rest of my life.
Oh, I just don't know what to do.
Tell him his rattail stinks.
Dad?
- Do it, Nancy.
Criticize him,
just like I did to you!
Never. I'm not like you!
(evil laugh)
No. Only one thing I can do now.
All right, you horrible creature,
any last words before I snip snip?
-(jingles)
- My rattail. Nyeah. Nyeah.
(grunts) Ow! Ow!
Wait. Mom? What are you doing?
Well, I-- Aww.
Scissors? (gasps) Wait a second.
Were you thinking of cutting my rattail?
- No, I'd never--
- Admit it!
(groans) Yes. Okay,
I was gonna cut your rattail.
It's the most hideous thing
I've ever seen in my life!
Okay, first of all, ouch.
Why didn't you just tell me you hated it?
-(sighs) I'm sorry, Cricket.
-(bell jingles)
I just didn't want you
to see me as one of those harsh,
overly critical parents
like my dad was with me.
So you'd rather sneak up and cut my hair
in the middle of the night
than be honest with me?
Yeah. Sorry.
You disapproving of me once in a while
ain't gonna stop me from thinking
you're an awesome mom.
Plus, Dad disapproves of me all the time,
but I still like him.
(chuckles) Thanks, Cricket.
Just be real with me, okay?
I promise.
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo!
Mother and son reunited.
You know, to be honest,
I was kind of getting bored
of this thing anyway.
It's time to move on to a new look.
Check it. The mullet.
Son, I hate it.
Now, that's more like it.
♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch and
Scraped up both my knees ♪
♪ I got chased by dogs licked by a frog ♪
♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪