Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 12 - Farmer Remy/Homeward Hound - full transcript
Remy attempts to find his "country grit," Phoenix journeys back to Big City to retrieve Saxon.
CRICKET: All right,
Phoenix girl.
Go get 'em! Look at her go!
I taught her everything
she knows.
Even at an advanced age,
she's sharp as a pup!
Oh yeah. Phoenix is the best.
- Ain't that right girl?
-(barks)
She's such a good
bringer-backer.
I mean, just look at all these
treasures she brought back!
Chew bones, toy cars,
not-sure-if-they're-
dead-yet critters...
-(squeaks)
- Gross.
Yep! There ain't nothin'
Phoenix can't do!
Ain't that right ya cutie!
(laughs) That's my old gal.
TILLY: Oh my gosh!
Oh, where is he?
- Tilly! What's up?
- It's Saxon!
I've checked every moving box
we brought to the country
and I can't find him anywhere!
He's gone!
What do you mean Saxon's gone?
- He's right over there.
-(wind whistles)
Oh, my gosh, Saxon is gone!
What if somethin'
happened to him?
I'd never forgive myself
and blah blah blah blah blah...
PHOENIX: Oh, my.
The small child's heart aches.
I know I saw her sack
companion recently...
- but where?
- BILL: Blahblah, blah
- blahblah blah blahblah?
- Blah, blah blahblah!
(gasps) Saxon was left
behind by mistake!
I must alert
the children! (barks)
Aw, we'll play
with you later, girl.
- C'mon. Let's get you inside.
-(barking)
You must listen to me!
- Oh, drat.
- BRENDA: We're listening!
Did the humans forget
to feed you?
That happened to me one time,
but then I remembered
that I eat everything.
No, Melissa,
it's the girl child.
She left the sack
that brings her comfort
at the scary old woman's house
in The Place With Many
Buildings!
(gasps) Oh, my gosh!
We don't live
there anymore, huh?
Right you are, Brenda.
And though the journey
may be perilous,
I, Queen Phoenix,
shall retrieve Saxon
for the girl-child!
BOTH: And we're coming with you!
Whoa!
You're gonna be glad
you got our help!
Ah, well, you see,
the stakes are quite high
and I'd be concerned
for your safety
seeing how you two are... you.
While I appreciate the offer,
I'm afraid this is more
of a job for a dog.
With that, I'll be on my way.
Well, well, well.
Queen Phoenix.
Desperate to play
the hero again, are we?
Saving all the glory
for yourself?
This isn't about me, Cogburn.
It's about the child.
Now, step aside.
This does not concern you.
(laughs) We shall see
about that.
(sighs) What a day.
Alice, you home?
Egh, I shouldn't be so loud.
She's probably asleep.
(heavy disco music plays)
What the? Um, Alice?
What's going on in here?
Hey, roomie!
You and I are hittin' the club!
- What?
- ALICE: Here! Put this on!
What are you talking about?
Well, since it's just
you and me in the city now,
I figured it was high time
we had a night out!
- Okay.
- You know,
quality girlie fun time!
(whistles) Oh, Gloria!
I don't know about this, Alice.
That's 'cause yer not
wearin' your dancin' shoes!
- You tryna stink out the club?
- No.
(muttering)
There we are! Uh-oh.
The guppies ain't
lookin' so hot.
Ah, well. Time to cut a rug,
girlfriend!
- Agh!
- Now let's hit the club!
Huh. Alice is acting nothing
like her grumpy old self.
Hmm. This is great! (grunts)
-(sniffing) Aha!
-(train whistles)
CONDUCTOR: All aboard!
Last stop is Big City!
Hang on, Saxon, Queen Phoenix
will be there in no time!
I am stealth...
I am invisible
to the human eye...
The perfect disguise.
That's a good dog, Phoenix.
- No one will ever find you!
- MELISSA: Found you!
- Huh?
- BOTH: Hi, Phoenix!
What are you two doing here?
- We're helping you find Saxon.
- No. You need to hide!
If they see us, we'll get...
- Kicked out!
- And that's...
- good?
- No, that's bad!
So find somewhere to hide.
Oh, I love hide and seek!
Oh, I'm great at that.
Now you see me...
Now you don't.
(sighs) This is not good.
(disco music playing)
- Girls night!
- Whoo!
You know, back in the day,
my dance moves
used to leave the crowd
screamin' for more! Ha!
Hear that? They love me!
Alice Green is in the house!
Wow, Alice, you're wild tonight.
What's gotten into you?
Nothin', what's gotten into you?
Ha! I need a drink!
- You got any Splish?
- Sure.
Let me get a cup for you, ma'am.
Take your time,
bartender man! Bar hack!
I've never seen you
like this before.
Wait. I've never seen you
like this before.
- Is everything okay?
- Denial?
Who's in denial? What? I mean...
I'm good.
In fact, I'm so good,
I'm feelin' generous!
Buy yourself a round
- of Splish on me!
- Wooo!
I'm makin' it rain
pennies, y'all!
Alice! Ow!
PHOENIX: Brenda,
hurry up and hide!
- Melissa found a spot!
- Yeah, what's wrong with you?
Mmm... Oh, that looks
like a cozy place to hide.
A little too cozy.
Good job, Brenda.
Oh, a snack.
Time for my favorite
meal of the day!
- Huh? Socks?
- Melissa.
- You're gonna to get us caught!
- Sorry!
Huh? (screaming)
(devilish laugh)
(screams) Phoenix! Help!
Okay. What?
Huh? Now hang on just a minute!
Oh, no!
We have a strict zero
tolerance policy
for passengers without tickets!
Also, you're animals.
And I'm pretty sure
that's not allowed either.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to kick you out.
All off-board!
Oh, great. Now,
I'll have to walk the rest
- of the way in the dark!
- It's just a little hiccup.
We'll help you get to Big City!
We just have to go...
- BOTH: This way!
- Uh...
what do you think, Phoenix?
I think I should've
never let you "help" me
- in the first place!
- BOTH: Huh?
- I'm going on alone.
- But how will you do it
- without us?
- A lot better!
(disco music playing)
Danced myself sweaty!
Excuse me, Miss.
Are you with her?
- She's killin' the vibe.
- C'mon, why ain't ya'll dancin'?
I thought this was a party!
Whoa, where'd this hat
come from?
Oh, well. Eh, eh, woohoo!
Oh, yeah. I'll handle it.
Tell you what, Gloria,
I could dance all night!
- How you feelin'?
- Oh, you know,
it's getting late,
I'm getting tired...
I think maybe we should
head back home soon.
Huh? Oh, that old place?
Guh-ross!
I'm here to make some noise!
Now, I'm gettin' back
to the boogie.
- Woo!
- All right.
I'll just scroll
through Snap-A-Gram
until she wears herself out.
Wait. What's this?
Uh... "FunkyGramGram
followed you?"
Alice has a Snap-A-Gram?
Weird. But also tell me more.
"Just beltin'!"
"Sprucin' up my pearlies! "
"Pinchin' my friend
Xavier's cheeks?"
You know, you remind me
of somebody.
How do you feel about whittlin'?
Okay. Something's fishy.
It's decided! You're my son now.
And you're my granddaughter!
All right,
let's get you outta here.
Call me, Xavier!
I made cookies!
I like cookies.
(sniffing) Car exhaust...
Rats... Coffee grounds...
chickens? Ha! I made it!
Now, let's get you home! Saxon?
Huh? (sniffing)
He's not here! Saxon?
No Saxon here.
Oh, Saxon.
Where are you?
(gasps) Saxon!
I knew I would find you! Huh?
What? What is this?
COGBURN: (evil laughs)
Poor, poor Phoenix.
- Cogburn, you scoundrel!
- A scoundrel? Hardly.
I'm an agent of change!
- You're a disgrace!
- I'm a disgrace?
I'm not the one all alone...
under a lettuce crate!
You just had to have
all the glory to yourself.
No matter.
Your reign will end
once and for all
when the humans see what
you've done to precious Saxon.
But I haven't
even touched Saxon!
Lucky for me,
it's easy to blame the demise
of a beloved toy
on the family dog!
- Cogburn, no!
- What's that?
- Keep going?
- BRENDA: Not so fast!
- Huh?
- Drop the sack, featherbrains.
- Yeah! Featherbrains!
- Brenda, Melissa!
You followed me!
Even after I was such a pill.
- Well, of course!
- We said, we wanted to help.
- Aw, you gals...
- Be gone, fools!
This is not your battle!
You imbeciles couldn't
even take me if you tried!
Yes we can!
Ha! You missed!
Wasn't aiming for you!
(heroic music playing)
No matter! It will only take
one swipe of my talon to--
(screams)
- Yay us!
- Whoa!
- Did you see that, Phoenix?
- Yes I did, Brenda.
Thank you for your help.
Both of you.
Bein' a single lady party animal
sure is harder than I thought!
(chuckles) You got that right.
That's why I usually stay home.
Actually, you usually
stay home too.
What's going on with you?
- Oh, nothin'.
- Are you sure?
'Cause you look pretty
sad to me.
- I'm not sad!
- Okay!
You know...
if you'd ever want to go
visit your family
in the country,
I can hold things down here.
I mean, if you miss them
or whatever.
Miss 'em? I lived
without them for years!
But if I did miss 'em...
what am I supposed to do?
Go chasing after 'em
right after they just left?
See Gloria,
life just ain't so simple.
- What the heck?!
- Oh, my gosh.
ALICE: Wait.
Why are Bill's farm
animals back in the city?
Weird. Hmm.
I guess we'll need someone
to take them back
to the country, but who?
Well, I'm gonna have to look
into some kinda service--
oh, my gosh, it could be me!
How do you fancy a cup
of darjeeling...
- Bagson?
-(wind blows)
I knew Bagson
was only a pale imitation.
No one could ever replace Saxon.
(gasps) Saxon?
Is that really you?
Oh, my wonderful,
wonderful friend, Saxon!
- Oh, you three are my heroes!
-(barks)
What's all the hubbub?
Phoenix and the animals
- brought Saxon back!
- GRAMMA: Hey, that's not
all they brought!
It's Gramma!
- Hi, Gramma!
- Gramma!
- Ma!
- Your dang animals
showed up at my house,
so I had to bring 'em
- all the way back here.
- Thanks, Ma.
But if you just came
to return the animals,
- what's with all the suitcases?
-(grunts)
I thought maybe I'd stay
for a while.
- Oh yeah. Here's your tip!
- Aw!
Now somebody show me to my room.
SINGER:
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by dogs ♪
♪ Licked by a frog,
got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters
in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪
(theme music playing)
Phoenix girl.
Go get 'em! Look at her go!
I taught her everything
she knows.
Even at an advanced age,
she's sharp as a pup!
Oh yeah. Phoenix is the best.
- Ain't that right girl?
-(barks)
She's such a good
bringer-backer.
I mean, just look at all these
treasures she brought back!
Chew bones, toy cars,
not-sure-if-they're-
dead-yet critters...
-(squeaks)
- Gross.
Yep! There ain't nothin'
Phoenix can't do!
Ain't that right ya cutie!
(laughs) That's my old gal.
TILLY: Oh my gosh!
Oh, where is he?
- Tilly! What's up?
- It's Saxon!
I've checked every moving box
we brought to the country
and I can't find him anywhere!
He's gone!
What do you mean Saxon's gone?
- He's right over there.
-(wind whistles)
Oh, my gosh, Saxon is gone!
What if somethin'
happened to him?
I'd never forgive myself
and blah blah blah blah blah...
PHOENIX: Oh, my.
The small child's heart aches.
I know I saw her sack
companion recently...
- but where?
- BILL: Blahblah, blah
- blahblah blah blahblah?
- Blah, blah blahblah!
(gasps) Saxon was left
behind by mistake!
I must alert
the children! (barks)
Aw, we'll play
with you later, girl.
- C'mon. Let's get you inside.
-(barking)
You must listen to me!
- Oh, drat.
- BRENDA: We're listening!
Did the humans forget
to feed you?
That happened to me one time,
but then I remembered
that I eat everything.
No, Melissa,
it's the girl child.
She left the sack
that brings her comfort
at the scary old woman's house
in The Place With Many
Buildings!
(gasps) Oh, my gosh!
We don't live
there anymore, huh?
Right you are, Brenda.
And though the journey
may be perilous,
I, Queen Phoenix,
shall retrieve Saxon
for the girl-child!
BOTH: And we're coming with you!
Whoa!
You're gonna be glad
you got our help!
Ah, well, you see,
the stakes are quite high
and I'd be concerned
for your safety
seeing how you two are... you.
While I appreciate the offer,
I'm afraid this is more
of a job for a dog.
With that, I'll be on my way.
Well, well, well.
Queen Phoenix.
Desperate to play
the hero again, are we?
Saving all the glory
for yourself?
This isn't about me, Cogburn.
It's about the child.
Now, step aside.
This does not concern you.
(laughs) We shall see
about that.
(sighs) What a day.
Alice, you home?
Egh, I shouldn't be so loud.
She's probably asleep.
(heavy disco music plays)
What the? Um, Alice?
What's going on in here?
Hey, roomie!
You and I are hittin' the club!
- What?
- ALICE: Here! Put this on!
What are you talking about?
Well, since it's just
you and me in the city now,
I figured it was high time
we had a night out!
- Okay.
- You know,
quality girlie fun time!
(whistles) Oh, Gloria!
I don't know about this, Alice.
That's 'cause yer not
wearin' your dancin' shoes!
- You tryna stink out the club?
- No.
(muttering)
There we are! Uh-oh.
The guppies ain't
lookin' so hot.
Ah, well. Time to cut a rug,
girlfriend!
- Agh!
- Now let's hit the club!
Huh. Alice is acting nothing
like her grumpy old self.
Hmm. This is great! (grunts)
-(sniffing) Aha!
-(train whistles)
CONDUCTOR: All aboard!
Last stop is Big City!
Hang on, Saxon, Queen Phoenix
will be there in no time!
I am stealth...
I am invisible
to the human eye...
The perfect disguise.
That's a good dog, Phoenix.
- No one will ever find you!
- MELISSA: Found you!
- Huh?
- BOTH: Hi, Phoenix!
What are you two doing here?
- We're helping you find Saxon.
- No. You need to hide!
If they see us, we'll get...
- Kicked out!
- And that's...
- good?
- No, that's bad!
So find somewhere to hide.
Oh, I love hide and seek!
Oh, I'm great at that.
Now you see me...
Now you don't.
(sighs) This is not good.
(disco music playing)
- Girls night!
- Whoo!
You know, back in the day,
my dance moves
used to leave the crowd
screamin' for more! Ha!
Hear that? They love me!
Alice Green is in the house!
Wow, Alice, you're wild tonight.
What's gotten into you?
Nothin', what's gotten into you?
Ha! I need a drink!
- You got any Splish?
- Sure.
Let me get a cup for you, ma'am.
Take your time,
bartender man! Bar hack!
I've never seen you
like this before.
Wait. I've never seen you
like this before.
- Is everything okay?
- Denial?
Who's in denial? What? I mean...
I'm good.
In fact, I'm so good,
I'm feelin' generous!
Buy yourself a round
- of Splish on me!
- Wooo!
I'm makin' it rain
pennies, y'all!
Alice! Ow!
PHOENIX: Brenda,
hurry up and hide!
- Melissa found a spot!
- Yeah, what's wrong with you?
Mmm... Oh, that looks
like a cozy place to hide.
A little too cozy.
Good job, Brenda.
Oh, a snack.
Time for my favorite
meal of the day!
- Huh? Socks?
- Melissa.
- You're gonna to get us caught!
- Sorry!
Huh? (screaming)
(devilish laugh)
(screams) Phoenix! Help!
Okay. What?
Huh? Now hang on just a minute!
Oh, no!
We have a strict zero
tolerance policy
for passengers without tickets!
Also, you're animals.
And I'm pretty sure
that's not allowed either.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to kick you out.
All off-board!
Oh, great. Now,
I'll have to walk the rest
- of the way in the dark!
- It's just a little hiccup.
We'll help you get to Big City!
We just have to go...
- BOTH: This way!
- Uh...
what do you think, Phoenix?
I think I should've
never let you "help" me
- in the first place!
- BOTH: Huh?
- I'm going on alone.
- But how will you do it
- without us?
- A lot better!
(disco music playing)
Danced myself sweaty!
Excuse me, Miss.
Are you with her?
- She's killin' the vibe.
- C'mon, why ain't ya'll dancin'?
I thought this was a party!
Whoa, where'd this hat
come from?
Oh, well. Eh, eh, woohoo!
Oh, yeah. I'll handle it.
Tell you what, Gloria,
I could dance all night!
- How you feelin'?
- Oh, you know,
it's getting late,
I'm getting tired...
I think maybe we should
head back home soon.
Huh? Oh, that old place?
Guh-ross!
I'm here to make some noise!
Now, I'm gettin' back
to the boogie.
- Woo!
- All right.
I'll just scroll
through Snap-A-Gram
until she wears herself out.
Wait. What's this?
Uh... "FunkyGramGram
followed you?"
Alice has a Snap-A-Gram?
Weird. But also tell me more.
"Just beltin'!"
"Sprucin' up my pearlies! "
"Pinchin' my friend
Xavier's cheeks?"
You know, you remind me
of somebody.
How do you feel about whittlin'?
Okay. Something's fishy.
It's decided! You're my son now.
And you're my granddaughter!
All right,
let's get you outta here.
Call me, Xavier!
I made cookies!
I like cookies.
(sniffing) Car exhaust...
Rats... Coffee grounds...
chickens? Ha! I made it!
Now, let's get you home! Saxon?
Huh? (sniffing)
He's not here! Saxon?
No Saxon here.
Oh, Saxon.
Where are you?
(gasps) Saxon!
I knew I would find you! Huh?
What? What is this?
COGBURN: (evil laughs)
Poor, poor Phoenix.
- Cogburn, you scoundrel!
- A scoundrel? Hardly.
I'm an agent of change!
- You're a disgrace!
- I'm a disgrace?
I'm not the one all alone...
under a lettuce crate!
You just had to have
all the glory to yourself.
No matter.
Your reign will end
once and for all
when the humans see what
you've done to precious Saxon.
But I haven't
even touched Saxon!
Lucky for me,
it's easy to blame the demise
of a beloved toy
on the family dog!
- Cogburn, no!
- What's that?
- Keep going?
- BRENDA: Not so fast!
- Huh?
- Drop the sack, featherbrains.
- Yeah! Featherbrains!
- Brenda, Melissa!
You followed me!
Even after I was such a pill.
- Well, of course!
- We said, we wanted to help.
- Aw, you gals...
- Be gone, fools!
This is not your battle!
You imbeciles couldn't
even take me if you tried!
Yes we can!
Ha! You missed!
Wasn't aiming for you!
(heroic music playing)
No matter! It will only take
one swipe of my talon to--
(screams)
- Yay us!
- Whoa!
- Did you see that, Phoenix?
- Yes I did, Brenda.
Thank you for your help.
Both of you.
Bein' a single lady party animal
sure is harder than I thought!
(chuckles) You got that right.
That's why I usually stay home.
Actually, you usually
stay home too.
What's going on with you?
- Oh, nothin'.
- Are you sure?
'Cause you look pretty
sad to me.
- I'm not sad!
- Okay!
You know...
if you'd ever want to go
visit your family
in the country,
I can hold things down here.
I mean, if you miss them
or whatever.
Miss 'em? I lived
without them for years!
But if I did miss 'em...
what am I supposed to do?
Go chasing after 'em
right after they just left?
See Gloria,
life just ain't so simple.
- What the heck?!
- Oh, my gosh.
ALICE: Wait.
Why are Bill's farm
animals back in the city?
Weird. Hmm.
I guess we'll need someone
to take them back
to the country, but who?
Well, I'm gonna have to look
into some kinda service--
oh, my gosh, it could be me!
How do you fancy a cup
of darjeeling...
- Bagson?
-(wind blows)
I knew Bagson
was only a pale imitation.
No one could ever replace Saxon.
(gasps) Saxon?
Is that really you?
Oh, my wonderful,
wonderful friend, Saxon!
- Oh, you three are my heroes!
-(barks)
What's all the hubbub?
Phoenix and the animals
- brought Saxon back!
- GRAMMA: Hey, that's not
all they brought!
It's Gramma!
- Hi, Gramma!
- Gramma!
- Ma!
- Your dang animals
showed up at my house,
so I had to bring 'em
- all the way back here.
- Thanks, Ma.
But if you just came
to return the animals,
- what's with all the suitcases?
-(grunts)
I thought maybe I'd stay
for a while.
- Oh yeah. Here's your tip!
- Aw!
Now somebody show me to my room.
SINGER:
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by dogs ♪
♪ Licked by a frog,
got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
♪ I got splinters
in seven of ten ♪
♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪
(theme music playing)