Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Level Up/Wild Side - full transcript

Hah! Ah-yatatata!

Argh! [growling] Ptew!

And that's
how you play can-punch!

Seems easy enough. Hup!

How's it going out here?


Oooh! Gotta keep your eyes
on the cans, Remy.

Now come on in,
it's time for dinner!

Puh! Okay, Mr. Green!

Yah yah!

[Bill] You too, Cricket!


Cricket, inside.

- [whimpering]
- C'mon, boy. C'mon!

Okay, get in here.

Cricket, it's time to--

What?! Hey! C'mere!

Lemme down! Lemme down!

I don't wanna!

And you can't make meee!


Criminy, boy, I haven't seen you
act this way since you had--

[gasp] the itch.

The itch? What's that?

You see, Remy,

every year, Cricket
gets this wild urge.

I can't say
I fully understand it,

but one thing
usually does the trick.


[echoing] Camping...

Back in the country,
I'd take Cricket out

deep in the woods,

far from the eyes
of decent folks.


[Bill] Once released,
Cricket was unleashed,

free to follow
his animalistic instincts.

Ha ha! Yeah!

And to do things...


that would churn the stomachs
of civilized people.

A yearly commune with nature

is the only thing that can
cure the wildness in that boy.

[Cricket sighs]

Dad, that's it!
You gotta take me camping!

Please please please!
Please, Dad! [laughing]

Oooh, camping!

I don't really get it,

but if Cricket likes it,
I'm sure I will, too!

Well, that settles it then.

Tonight, boys, we camp!

- Woohoo!
- Woohoo!

Got my good beans.

Now I'm ready for campin'!

I'm so excited!

You kids ready?

Yeah! Race you
to the truck, Remy!

Oh, we don't need
to take the truck.

'Cause the campsite
is right here!


Are you serious?

We're camping
in our dumpy backyard?

Why ain't we going
somewhere more nature-y?

Well, backyard camping
is fun, too.

Listen. You can still hear
the harmony of nature.

- [glass shatters]
- [cat screeches]

[man] Time
for some night-yelling!

Aaahh! Aaahh!

Well, I can't say I love it,
but I'll give it a shot.

Well, that's the spirit!

At least we can get
a good ol' campfire going!

Whoa whoa, hey, now!

We don't want
the fire department
called on us!

Are you kidding?
It's not camping
without a campfire!

That's why I brought
a safe and respectful




Why are you neutering
our camping trip?!

Aw, come on, son.
It's just as good!

We're still out in nature,
but we gotta be mindful.

Because there are people
all around us.

Watching us.

Judging us.

But I don't care
what people think!

Shh! Quiet down!

Use your inside voice.

But we're outside!

I can't control it anymore!



Easy now, Cricket!

Oof! Cricket!

Wait! Come back!

Oh, geez!

Okay, I know I'm new to camping,
but this is fun!

Oh, no, this is bad.

We gotta get Cricket back
before he wreaks havoc
on the city!

- But how are we
gonna find him?
- [metal clangs]

You won't.

Unless you've got my help.

Ma, why are you up in that tree?

'Cause it's more dramatic!

Luckily for you,
man-hunting is my specialty.

All right, Ma, name your price.

I want the living room TV
to myself on Tuesday nights.

That's when my show is on.

Well, you could just stream it.

Shh! Fine.
You got yourself a deal.

Hup! I'll bring the target
back dead or alive.

No, Ma, definitely alive.

This is your grandson, remember?

Right, right.

Let's go take him alive, boys!


- [Bill] Come on!
- [Gramma] Ha Ha! Whoo!

Phew! You have fun today,

Oh, yes, Mama.

I never knew fire
could spread so quickly.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Don't tell your dad about that.

Huh. Locked?

They must've gone
to the store or something.

C'mon, let's try the back door.

I'm sure they'll be back soon.

I'll just wait with ya.

Looks like they were having
a backyard camping trip.

Cricket even brought out
his good beans.

Hey, Mama! Have you ever eaten
a s'more, "Tilly-style"?

Can't say that I have!

You take a couple crackers,

a Tilly helping of marshmallows,

and then... Ta-da!

That looks almost as good
as my "Nancy-style."


[both laughing]

[speaking with mouth stuffed]

[Cricket growling]


Need fresh air...

Nature... Gotta be free!




Big shiny!

That's not normal.

Now, that boy's got
the right idea!

No gods or kings, only moon!

Mmmmm... Hm?

[licking air]

Muh-mah-- Muh-mah--


[flirtatious giggling]

- Meat!
- [both scream]


Who is that dreadful boy?!

Me Cricket Green!

Son of Bill Green!

Oh, he doesn't need
to advertise it!

If we don't catch Cricket soon,

the whole city
will think we're nuts!

We need to surround him,
leave no room for escape!

We must strike fast
and without hesitation!




Yaah! Dang it!
Don't let him through!

- [grunting]
- Cricket, stop!

You're coming with us, son!


What a horrid little beast!

Was he raised in a barn?

Well, technically, yes,
but he's not usually like this.

- You see...
- Uh, Mr. Green?

Mr. Green?!

Uh... Cricket?
It's me, Remy.

Your best
and least-tasty friend?



So you see,
with his country upbringing--

Huh? W-wait, Cricket!

- Get back here!
- [grunting]

Clever boy.

Wish his father was more clever!

How'd you let him slip through?!

I was just trying to do
some damage control!

But when they
opened the closet...

there was nothing but a head!

Ha! Pretty scary, huh?

Yeah, a little bit.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, man, the look
on your face, Tilly-girl!

Why don't you
take a crack at it?

Oh, no, I'm not too fond
of spooking others.

Oh, c'mon,
I'm not and easy scare, hon.

Well, if you insist.

[clears throat]

Imagine, if you will...

waking up alone in an empty room

with only one door.

You open that door
to an identical room,

but smaller.

Every door you open leads
to an even smaller room.

Your curiosity
compels you to keep going.

Door after door,

the walls keep coming
closer and closer.

Until finally,
you can barely move.

[frightened breathing]

And try as you might,

you still can't resist
going into the next room.

That's enough scary stories!

Oof! C'mon, Tilly,
this tent's feeling
a little cramped.

I like it.

Ohh, where am I?

Oh, no!

Cricket dragged me out
into the middle of nowhere!

[pop music playing]

Am I... in a nest?

Oh, Cricket!
What's going on?

What are you--
Hey, wait, where you going?

[wild chanting]

Cricket, why
did you bring me here?

To free you.

You join me wild.

Chew stick!
Roam free.

Oh, I don't know.
I'm a good boy!

With a bedtime.

Be wild. Be free.

Like this?

Yes! Now roar. To moon!


More loud!


Oh! That felt good!

Really good!

Remy feel wild?

Yes, I do!

- Awoooooo!
- Awoooooo!

[both chanting]

Oh, great, he's converted
his little friend.

Oh, why do they have
to be making such a racket?

- [chanting]
- Hmm?

Reeee! Reeee!

Looks like the jig is up.

Huh! Come quietly,

or Gramma's gonna have
to use her big guns!


[both] Lolololololo!

Bill, grab Cricket!


C'mon, boys, let's just go home!

Wild good! Free boy!

- Unh! Unh!
- Gotcha!

No one gets away from me!

Let's get you back
in your fancy pants.

Hiyaah! Yaah!

Wild boys! Wild boys!

Where are they?
I'll get 'em!

- [raspberry] Lololololo!
- Let me at 'em!

H-hey, wait!

Well, toot my scoot.

- Ow ow awooo!
- Awooooooooo!


But soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?

It is the east.
And Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun--

- Aaah!
- Aaah!

Oh, Terry, we didn't
practice for this!

I said I don't do improv!

- [growling]
- Aaaah!

[angry shouting]

Stand back, Billy-boy!

I got this.

No, Ma, I got this.

[both shouting]

That's it!
Kids, enough is enough!

Society has rules for a reason!

Unh! Hey!

You will never stop wild boys!

[Cricket and Remy]
Wild boys forever!

Wild boys forever!

No more!

No! You not understand!

Of course I understand!

Do you think I like caring
what people think of me?

I want to go wild, too!

You do?
Then why not do?

For once in life,

do what make Bill happy.

"Do what make Bill happy"?

Do what make Bill happy.

What's going on?

He's not really gonna...

Get ready, Big City!

'Cause Wild Bill
is lettin' loose!

Ahh hoo hoo!



- Woohoohoo!
- [screaming]

You, sir, have made a mockery
of community theater!

Heh! Heh heh heh!

It appears the prey
has won tonight.

But I'm still getting
the TV Tuesday nights!

Shakespeare must be rolling
in his grave, Terry!

Huh. Can't really see
the stars in the city.

Wait, there's one!

Oh, it's just a helicopter.

A man-made star
that hunts for the wicked.

Hey, it's starting
to get real late.

Where is everyone?

Wait, do you hear that?

[wild chanting]


Well, look who's
finally moseyed on home!

Yep! But the night
ain't over yet!

- Woo-hoo!
- Yeah!

- Aawooooo!
- Aawooooo!


[wild chanting]

Heh heh! Yup.

That's my wild family.

♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got
bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
in seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪♪