Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 30 - Cousin Jilly/Gloria's Cafe - full transcript

[whistling]

♪ One, two, one, two,
Three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

[whistling]

[chicken clucks]

Human... wrecking ball!

[laughs]

[Cricket]
Human wrecking ball!

Why.

- [laughs]
- Good job, brother!



Thank you!

[gasps] Tilly, look!

It's the photo album from when

we were growin' up on the farm!

I didn't know we still had this!

[Cricket gasps]
Oh, my gosh!

It's cousin Jilly!

Oh man, she and I used to be

thick as thieves
back in the day!

Wonder whatever
happened to her...

Cricket, would you excuse me?

I need to have a word
with Saxon alone.

Sounds good, I'll be here.

Basking in memories!



[nervous laugh]
Okay...

Saxon, I have to tell you
a little secret...

[Tilly] Back when Cricket
and I were young and tiny,

we lived out in the country.

I was as happy as a clam!

But I began to suspect
Cricket was growing bored.

-I'm bored. I'm bored.
-I'm bored. I'm bored.
I'm bored...

[Tilly] That's when
I first got the idea...

If Cricket couldn't find
a new friend,

I'd just have to make him one.

- And on that day,
a new kid was born.
- [goat bleats]

Hey.

The name's Jilly.

- [gasps]
- [Tilly] Cricket bought it
right away.

And he was overjoyed to meet

such a unique
and different person!

Overnight, Cousin Jilly became
the cool kid on the farm.

She was daring, took big risks,

and always knew what to say.

- [cat meows]
- Looks to me like
the cat's out of the bag.

Did you just have that planned?!

[Tilly] Jilly taught Cricket
every secret she knew

about the art of being cool.

[gasps] Wow!

[Tilly] Whenever
Jilly stopped by,

she and Cricket
were inseparable...

[sighs]

How did he never
realize Jilly was me?!

Hey, Cricket!

I have something to tell you.

[Cricket]
There you are!

I just couldn't stop thinkin'

about how cool it would be

to see Jilly again...

So I'm invitin' her
to come visit us! Whoo!

So anyway,
is "Dearest Cousin,"
too formal...

- Or should I go with
"Salutations"?
- Uh, wha...

Mrgh-!

I couldn't tell him, Saxon.

You saw how happy
Jilly makes Cricket!

I know, it's technically
keepin' up a lie,

but one little visit
couldn't hurt...

I just hope I've
still got it in me.

[high-tempo music
and mystical sounds]

Come to me!

Jilly!

[woman]
Same... it's the same.

[pig oinks]

Heh heh. Still got it.

[humming]

Hello, Gramma!

Nancy's here!

Hey, wanna soda?

- I'm gonna get a soda.
- I'm good, Nancy. Thanks.

Look at her.
Kickin' her boots around

and actin' like
she owns the place!

Oh, Ma, she's fine.

Hey! You need to
buy more soda.

There's only two left.

[gulps and grunts]
Woo-hoo!

- [groans]
- [knocking on door]

I got it!

'Sup, cuz!

[gasps]
C-C-C-C-C-Cousin Jilly!?

[gasps] Jilly, Jilly, Jilly,
Jilly, Jilly, Jilly, Jilly!

We were just talking about you!

- I know.
- You do?

My cousin senses were tingling.

-They were?!
-How 'bout we...
throw it back

and play some of our
favorite country games?

Yessss!!!

All aboard the Cool Train.
Choo-choo-choo.

Hey, Tilly! Jilly's here!
We'll be outside!

Barry! Barry! B-B-Barry!

Kramo! Don't you know
how to knock?

Heh. Typical Kramo.

Hello, Alice!
[chomps]

Why did I put my boots back on?!

Just one of those days.
[grunts]

- Borge is here!
- Borge!

Ah! That's it!

You're gettin'
too comfortable, Nancy!

This ain't your home.
You are a guest in my house!

Excuse me?! I'm not a guest!

You don't live here,

and you sure as heck
don't do any chores!

So yes, you're a guest!

Well, if I'm a guest,
that makes you the host.

And a good host takes care
of her guest, am I right?

And this guest...
wants some tea.

Bah, gah, agh, uh...

Dangit, I got wrecked.

Wa-pow! Pow pow pow pow!
Kick!

Good ol' karat-hay!

You were always good with puns!

Need help defeating
your hay-bale ninjas?

Oh, no, I don't need violence.

I peer-pressured the hay ninjas
into self-destructive behavior.

They dropped out of school
to start a rock n' roll band.

Of course, you did!
So cool!

We gotta show Tilly!
Hey, where is she, anyway?

Tilly! Tilly,
come play with us!

- Hey, Cricket, I'm here!
- Tilly!

You'll never believe
who came to visit!

Wait, where'd Jilly go?

I just passed her in the house.
She's getting a snack.

She said you were playing
"dank" games?

Yes! You gotta
come play with us!

Uh... okay.

♪ Limbo, limbo, limbo!
Limbo, limbo, limbo! ♪

Jilly, you're back!

[laughing]

- Ah-choo!
- [gasps]

Tilly, you're back! Ow!

Aaaaah...

[Cricket] Ahh!

Aaah!

- Push me, Jilly!
- [grunts]

- Push me, Tilly!
- [grunts]

- [Tilly pants]
- This is the best day ever!

Self care. Oh, yeah.

- Your tea.
- Thank you!

[sipping noises]
[blows raspberry]

Oh, dear. It's too cold!

Would you be a good host
and heat it up for me?

- [grumbles]
- [kette whistle sound]

Much better.

I don't know what to do, Saxon!

I don't know how much longer
I can keep up this secret!

Don't judge me!

I know lying
to Cricket is wrong,

but he'd be heartbroken

if he found out
Jilly isn't real.

I'm doing this
to make him happy!

What do you mean
"this isn't the real reason
I'm doing this"?!

[Cricket] Tilly!
Tilly, you in there?!

Just a second!

[grunts]
I'm takin' a nap!

[Cricket]
Oh, good idea!

Always nice to get in
a soothing, relaxing nap.

- Takin' a little me time!
- [grunts]

[Cricket] All right,
I'll get out of your hair!

I'll talk to you later, Tilly!

- [panting]
- Jilly! There you are!

Tilly's just takin' a nap.
Best not to disturb her.

Coolio. Let's, uh...

Let's get back
to playing outside.

All aboard the Cool Train!
Choo-choo!

You know, it's weird...

You two never really
play... together.

Yes we do!

Oh, I see what's going on here.

All these years,
I never realized the truth...

Even though it was
right in front of my face!

You two are never
together because...

Y'all don't get along!

Yes.

I won't stand for this.
You two are family!

It's my responsibility
to fix this.

Wake up, Tilly, Jilly's here!

Now, no one's leaving here until
you put aside your differences

and... Work. It. Out.

- Mm-mm!
- [groans]

Uh, Tilly?!

[grunts]

Hey, wake up!

I heard you don't like me!

Whoa-oh!

- No I don't!
- I knew it!

And the thing that
I don't like is that... Ooh!

Let me start.
We are two people.

Two very different people!

It's like you're a totally
different, separate person!

Oh, boy!
Who do I root for?!

- [grunts]
- [glass clinks]

Drama!

[gasps] There they are!

They're equally matched!

You always chew with
your mouth open
and I'm sick of it!

Well, you talk in your sleep!

Yeah, because
I'm havin' nightmares

about your chewin'!

These things distinguish us!

Well, that settles it!

We're just not meant to be
in the same room together!

I guess you'll just
have to go your way,

and I'll go mine!

What? No! No!

We'll just never see
each other again!

- Fine!
- Fine!

[screaming] Stop!

You're both cool people

with different strengths
and weaknesses!

Can't you acknowledge
one another with a hug?!

- Uh, actually,
no we can't, because...
- Because...

I'm not leaving till
you show each other you...

Uh, what am I...?
What am I seeing...?

What...?
Okay, what is...?

What you're seein', Cricket...

Is that Jilly ain't real.

It's been me the whole time.

- Hey, Jilly!
- No! Watch closely.

Oh, my gosh!
No, Tilly is... But...

Jilly is... Gah!

- [grunts]
- [voices] Tilly... Jilly...

You lied to me this whole time?!

Yeah, but it was pretty obvious.

I'm sorry, Cricket.

Cool cool, just giving
my brain a second

to process the fact
that Jilly was never real.

[sobs and cries]

Oh, no.

[muttering]

Your... cookies...

Thank you, Madam Host.

But sadly, my arms
are too heavy from all this

old jewelry you've given me.

Would you be a dear
and feed me one of them?

Aaah...

[screams]

And that'll do it!

Bake your own cookies, woman!

Isn't that forbidden?

Because I'm a guest?

All right, fine!

I suppose you're not just
a guest in this home.

Your the mother of my grandkids,

and I suppose that
means you're...

A member of this family...

However! Could ya knock
once in a while?!

- And not kick
your boots everywhere?
- Fair point.

I'll do better about being more
respectful of your home. Deal?

Deal. Just don't track any mud
if you wanna keep that hand.

[Cricket sighs]

Goodbye, Jilly.

- Hey, Cricket.
- Oh. It's you.

Got another new character
to trick me with?

Maybe Willy or Millie?

Look, I'm real sorry for
deceiving you for so long.

But you gotta understand,

the whole reason I came up
with Jilly was for your sake!

Hmph. Sounds like just
another one of your lies.

You're right. It is a lie.

I don't think I brought back
Jilly just for you.

All those adventures
we used to have?

I miss 'em, too.

So I wanted to keep it going

while you still believed
she was real.

Well, maybe...
she is real.

- She's a part of you,
ain't she?
- I guess so.

In fact, I still have that
letter I wrote to Jilly today.

You think I could
read it to her?

Let's blow it up, bruh.

[clears throat]
"Dear, Cousin Jilly.

Hello. This is
your cousin, Cricket.

[Cricket] I'm currently
living in Big City,

where the air is stinky,

and they carry their dogs
around in purses.

How are things
back in the country?

Tilly and I were talking
about you today,

and it brought back memories
of all the adventures

we had when we were little.

I believe those
adventures shaped me

into the well-molded
gentleman I am today!

We'd love to have you
visit sometime!

Just knock first, or
Gramma will try to bite you.

But if you're not able to,
I understand.

Just write me back
and let me know you're good.

No matter what, thanks for
makin' my life back then

so full of great memories.

Love, your city-slicker
cousin, Cricket Green."