Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 26 - Bleeped/Sellouts - full transcript

[theme song plays]

♪ One, two,
One-two-three-four ♪

[vocalizing]

[chicken squacking]

[tapping]

All right. From the top!

♪ There's a place
where kids can be free ♪

♪ C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪

♪ Y settle
for anything less? ♪

♪ Community center
is the best ♪

♪ The best! ♪



Whoo! That's
what I'm talking about!

Tilly! Great work!

Thank you, Community Sue.
But I won't be satisfied

until I can sing a note so high,

it can only be heard
by the acute ears

of a cute critter.

I like the initiative!

Anyways, it's break time.
But hurry back!

We need way more practice
before the concert tonight.

Hi Cricket.
Have you seen Gramma?

She always has a lozenge
or two on her,

and I need to keep my voice
in tip-top condition.

Oh, yeah, she's over there
being forced to help.

[struggling]
Dang chair won't open!



This is all a bunch of blort!
[gasping]

How long have you two
been standing there?

Long enough to hear
everything you just said.

Well, how could I have
said anything if I'm not here?

What're you?
[door slams]

[snorting] Blort.
What a funny word.

Oh! How rude!

That was weird. Tilly,
you're old and wise.
What's it mean?

I believe it's
what's known as a cuss word.

A cuss!?

Yes. Which is why we'd best
erase the word from our memory.

Memory wipe initiating.
Ahh.

I think not, dear sister.

I've spent all my
formative years trying
to figure out the cusses.

And now I finally know one!

Know one what?

Back to your positions, people!

[evil laughter]

- Oh, hi Cricket...
- Blort!

[gasping] Cricket!
That's a bad word!

I know. Isn't it hilarious?
Give it a try!

Uh, I can't. I have a wire!

- Wha... Cricket, what're you...
- Not anymore you don't!

Master Remy! Nooo!

C'mon, say it!

Blort. [giggling]
Blort!

- Blort!
- Blort!

[both laugh] Blort, blort,
blort, blort, blort...

Green! Remington!
What's so funny?

We were just talking
about how the gym smells
like... blort!

[gasping] One, it does not!

And two, you can't say that!
That's a cuss word!

What the blort's wrong
with cussing?
It's blorting fun!

C'mon, y'all! Give it a try.

- Blort!
- Blort?

- Blort-blort.
- [all] Blort, blort, blort...

Green! My office, now!

What do you have
to say for yourself?

- Blort.
- Ohh.

[door slams open]
What happened? What'd he do?

How much property damage?

Mr. Green. Your son thought
it would be funny

to say... Blort.

Ohh. No, keep it together,
Bill! You knew
this day would come.

He single-handedly
started an epidemic.

Thanks to him, I have
a choir of potty-mouths.

All except Tilly.
That little girl... is an angel!

♪ The best! ♪

Aww.

Cricket?
What were you thinking?

Well, Gramma said it,
and no one's
getting mad at her.

Fine. If you won't
stop swearing,
then you leave me no choice.

Cricket Ernest Green,
I hereby forbid thee
from cursing ever again.

What?! You can't decide
what comes out of my mouth.

Only what goes in.

I am gonna curse if I so choose.

And Imma so choose.

[deep inhale] Blort!
Blort-blort-blort!

Blort! A-blorty-blort blort.
And a-blort, blort,
blorty-blort blo...

Oh, man, this is bad.

My parents are coming
to tonight's concert!

I can't let them down.

Not to worry, Sue.
I'll clean up
the kids' language,

whether they like it or not.

[grunting]

[Bill] Alright, gang,
here's the deal.

You may not know this,
but bad language is bad.

It's rude and disrespectful,
so just don't do it.

[laughing] You might be able
to tell me what to do,

but you're not
the dad of everybody!

[all] Blort! Blort! Blort!

My inspirational speech has
only made 'em stronger!

How am I supposed
to get through to them?

[Officer Keys,
through megaphone]
Excuse me, sir!

You left your sweat
all over this treadmill.

Please clean it up.

Or I'll be forced
to take action.

Perfect.

Ooh. The acoustics
in this squash court are ideal

to test how high I can sing!

In order for my solo
to be enjoyed
by the animal kingdom,

I'll need your honest
critique, Bradley.

Now, let's begin.

[deep inhale] The be...

[glass smashing]

Huh. Well, how was that?

[squeaking]

Thanks for being honest.

Good afternoon everyone!
I'm Officer Keys.

And I'm here to lead you
through the police
department's program

for at-risk mouths, called
"Can't U Speak Sweetly?"

A.K.A. "Cuss."

And here to assist me is
my good friend
Tommy the Tongue!

Hey, kids!

Cricket! It's me. Your dad!

[Cricket groans]

What's poppin', Tommy T?

It's important that
you speak their language
to get through to them.

Oh, uh... Yo there
my, uh, homie.

I'm just jazzed because
I learned a rad new cuss word.

Whoa! Slow down, T!
You high-key wildin'!

There are zero reasons
to ever cuss.

[scoffs] I can think
of a couple reasons.

One, it's fun! And two,
it's hilarious!

There's been two reasons
all this time?

-Keys!
-Oh, uh, right, right.
No cussing.

Even if it's in the lyrics
of your favorite song.

[chuckles] What're you doing?

Well, they need to know
the words in order
to avoid using them.

- I... I don't think...
- Remember, kids.

Don't repeat the words!
Even when Lil Cuss
is spitting mad bars!

[singer]
♪ My momma, she told me
can't cuss. Blort! ♪

♪ Don't even know
who to trust. Cret! ♪

♪ Tip of my tongue
ever since I was young ♪

♪ I fubbo my dornk on a cuft ♪

Wow, I've never even heard
most of these words!

What? Surely
you've heard of swip?

- Or what about cret?
- Shh!

[kids]
Swip! Cret! Cuft!
Swip! Cret! Cuft!

Oh! It's too late.
Time to go... Full Dad.

[grunting]

That's it.
[speaker smashes]

This behavior ain't gonna
fly here anymore.

No more cussing.

And if you do,
you'll be in big, big trouble.

- Ah...?
- [Bill grunts menacingly]

Ah...

[sighs] Now, everyone
come grab a sticker!

Mr. Green.
You fix the kids yet?

I dunno. Did I?

[all make noises of agreement]

Great! Just in time
for the concert!

Let's go, kids.

- Ahh.
- Woo! Another win
for the CUSS program!

Up top! Yeah!

Wow, Community Sue went
all out. Y'all seeing this?

Ha. Yeah.

Heard you had a bit
of a language issue

with Cricket today.
Which one was it?

The B one.

Ha! I mean, uh, how'd it go?

He was stubborn.
But once I went Full Dad,
he gave up pretty easy.

Maybe too easy.

Ma, gimme your binoculars.

Oh sure. It's not like
I wanted to be able

to see my grandchildren
perform, or anything.

Time for vocal warm-ups.

♪ Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-DOOO! ♪

Gee, Cricket, I've never seen
your dad that angry before.

Sure scared me out of swearing.
What about you.

He thinks he can control me?
I still plan on cussing.

But your father hath forbade it!

And also you told him
you wouldn't cuss anymore.

It was a ruse!

At the end of our song,
when we sing,

"The community
center is the best,"

instead of "best"...

"I'm gonna say blort."
[gasping]

The boy's gone rogue!

[tapping]

Please don't embarrass me.
[deep inhale]

♪ There's a place
where kids can be free ♪

♪ C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪

Whoa! Ya! What the heck, Dad?

Save it. I know
what you're planning,
and you're in big trouble.

Oh yeah? Well, I can't be
in trouble if you can't...
catch me! [laughing]

Hey! You wore
two pairs of overalls?

[growling]

OK, spooky interlude.

Candles, everyone!

♪ There's a place
where kids can be free ♪

♪ C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪

[suspenseful music]

Ohh. Eh.

[squelching]
Huh?

[dramatic music]

Aah! Whoa!

Bet you didn't wear three pairs
of overalls today, did you?

I tried, but it made
my butt look chunky.

Good. Then how about it, boy?

- Ready to give up yet?
- Fine.

You got me this time.

But you're not always gonna
be around to police me.

And the second you're not,
I'm gonna say whatever I want.

You're right, Cricket.

I am?

Yup. I can't control
what comes out of your mouth

any more than
I can control the wind.

I can control the wind!
Watch. [blowing]

What I'm trying
to say is that, well...

You're your own person.
And it's time you made
your own decisions.

So, from now on, you can say
whatever you want.

I won't stop you.

Wow. Really?

I hereby give you full
permission to cuss.

You just gotta decide
if that's the kind of person
you wanna be.

Good luck with the rest
of the show, son.

Hm. Oh, well!
Time to drop the B-bomb.

Big finish, everyone!
Here we go!

♪ There's a place
where kids can be free ♪

♪ C-O-M-M-U-N-I-T ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

[kids exclaiming]

♪ Community center is the... ♪

Uh...

Um...

♪ Is the... ♪

♪ Best... ♪

♪ It is the best! ♪

[applause]

[gasping]

That's all, folks.
Thanks for coming out! Huh?

Mom! Dad! You came!

Of course!

We love you!

Ahh!

- Nice work, Alice.
- [Gramma grunts]

- [Cricket] Mom! Dad!
- [Tilly] Mama! Papa!

Hey kids, great concert!

Yeah, incredible singing.

Thank you.

I especially liked
your performance, son.

Very restrained.

Heh. Thanks, Dad.

I thought about cussing.

But eventually I realized
I didn't wanna be the jerk

that ruined everyone's day.

Aw. That's all
I could ever ask.

Alright, gang. Show's over.

Let's get the blort outta here.

[all giggle]