Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Garage Tales/Animal Farm - full transcript


[rhythmic whistling]

♪ One, two
One, two, three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

[chicken clucks]

- [Bill] How about this?
- [Gramma] Keep.

- [Bill] Okay. This?
- [Gramma] Keep.

- This?
- Hm. Keep.

Ma, the point of spring cleaning
is to get rid of stuff.

You haven't put a single
thing in the trash pile.

Hey, I put something
in the maybe pile.

I'm a maybe baby.

Cricket, you are loved
and appreciated.

Face it, Ma, you're a pack rat.

The garage is full
of your old junk.

Like, look at this.
It's clearly trash.

Fifty years ago it was trash.
Now it's an antique.

Look what I found.

I took the liberty of picking
the lock.

I taught you well.

Ugh, what is this, a dirty rag?

To the untrained eye, maybe.

But this scarf
is actually priceless.

And just how, exactly,

is a raggedy old
piece of scarf priceless?

Because everything
in this here trunk

is part of the greatest
adventure of my life!

Can we hear about--?

It all started
in an Egyptian tomb.

Legend had it that whoever
stole the pharaoh's treasure

would be rich.

And I was the only one
crazy enough to do it.

Or so I thought.

Of course, getting inside
the pyramid was the easy part.

The hard part
was the never-ending

barrage of booby traps.

- [snickers] Booby traps.
- Listen up, boy!

This won't be easy.

But it's nothing Alice Green
can't handle.


[yells and laughs]

- Huh?
- [roars]


I'm getting that treasure,
and nothing's getting in my way.



You got be worth a fortune.

Uh-huh. Mm-hm.






- [groans]
- Need some help?

Who are you? A thief?
A drifter? A thrifter?

Just a guy passing through.
Here, let me give you a hand.

No, wait.
Don't come closer.

Really, it's no trouble at all.

No, you idiot!
Don't take another step!

Do what now?

- Real smooth.
- [rumbling]

Great, now this whole place
is coming down.

[gasps and pants]

Don't worry. I got you.



Later, sucker.


And so, I made it out alive.


But I had no treasure.



And that's how my passport
got permanently revoked.

- Wow!
- Whoa!

Wait, what?

Dang! Young Gramma went hard.

Yeah. I can't believe
you entombed a man.

No, wait. Hm...
yes, I can.


No, Tilly, your gramma
never entombed anyone.

None of that story is true.

Wrong. It's all true.

And that's just the beginning.

What? You mean there's more?

I wonder what other relics
this memory chest contains.

First things first.

Just got to get this stuffing
out of the way.

Huh? Aah!

Boy, the only stuffing here
is in your head.

This newspaper is the next piece
of the story.

- [both] What?
- That's right.

Now, the next chapter
of my story

takes place deep in the jungles
of Mexico,

which I stealthily infiltrated
in order to hunt down

the legendary chupacabra!

[thunder crashes]

A local village was offering
a healthy bounty,

and I was there to collect.

I was hot on the beast's trail.

- The only problem was...
- [twig snaps]

- Ah!
- ...I wasn't alone.

You again?
What are you doing here?

Same as you.

[gasps and growls]

If you know what's good for you,

you'll turn around right now.

Oh, I will, after I collect
what's mine.

Fella, you better stop
following me or I'll--

[creature snarls]


The chupacabra.

- It's here.
- Don't get in my way.

Don't get in my way.

- [creature snarls]
- [gasps] What was that?

I said, don't...
uh, fly away?

Shut up. Not you.

Something's out there.

Ah! No, no, no.


[both scream]

Chupacabras fear the light.

Without it,
we're as good as dead.

Can't believe I'm saying this,
but stay close.

Come on. Come on.


Hurry, hurry.

Ha! Got it.


[both scream]


Here. Take this newspaper.

You can light it on fire and--

Ah, that works too.


I could use some help here.

Oh, right. Sorry.


Whew. Nice work.

Say there,
we make a pretty good team.

Huh. Yeah, I guess we do.

Put her there.

And so, the village was saved.

And against all odds,

my greatest rival
became my closest friend.

- Yeah! Chupacabra!
- Incredible.

Goodness, Gramma,
that story was even crazier

than the last one.

And also completely false.

I feel like I'm slurping down
goofy juice over here.

Ma, you've never even
been to Mexico.

Have too, and I got the proof
right here.

Huh? I don't understand--

- Oof!
- You don't know me!

Don't worry, Gramma,
we believe you.

Yeah. I'll believe anything
if it's convenient.

The earth is flat,
and you can't tell me otherwise.

Boy, I keep telling you,
the earth is round.

If it were round,

people would be
falling off the sides.

Ugh! We're not having
this conversation again.

If the earth were flat,
the oceans would drain.

No, they wouldn't, on account
of the towering walls of ice.

Now that I think about it,
Gramma, I do have one question.

Who was that strange man
that kept showing up?

Ah-ha! Found it.

This right here is the last
piece of the story.

Ooh, a box in a box.
You old people are crazy.

Can your story at least be true
this time?

As a matter of fact, this story
begins on this very farm.

The farm?
Now that's more like it.

I'm listening.

There I was,
minding my own business...

[rooster crowing]

Ah, what a beautiful day.

Be a shame if it was obscured
by some sort of big city.

Good thing that'll never happen.

Suddenly, there was a beep

coming from my super-cool
spy watch that I lost.

Don't ask about it.

My partner was in trouble,

and I was being called

for the most important mission
of my life.

Of course you were.

Let me guess,

you had to go to some crazy
underwater city.

Don't be ridiculous.

I mean, I was there
at one point,

but this story takes place
in an enemy laboratory

in the sky.


I had to get to my partner,
and fast.

[liquid bubbling]

Intruder alert.

Prepare yourself to die.

- [punches landing]
- [Gramma grunting]

Sorry I took so long.

Technical difficulties.


[muffled screams]

Oh, biscuits.

Alice, you shouldn't have come.

It's a trap.

This whole place
is rigged to blow.

Then we'd better get
a move on. Let's go.

Ah, you could've
got yourself killed.

What were you even doing here?

Oh, just getting this.


Not bad.

But we can admire that later.

Let's get out of here.

[bomb beeping rapidly]

Wow! Wait, I'm lost.

Yeah, what was in the box?

Are we missing something?

Oh, now I get it.

This is the story
of how you met Dad.

- [both] Grampa?
- Yeah.

Although the facts
are all wrong.

No way.
It was all true.

- Hm?
- Half true.

- Hm?
- Fine.

Loosely inspired by true events.

Let me tell you
how it really happened.

It all started when
your gramma's car broke down

on the side of a dusty
country road.


- [groans]
- [vehicle approaches]

[truck door opens and closes]

Your grampa stopped
and offered to help.

Need some help?

But your gramma had other ideas.

- [truck door closes]
- [engine starts]

- Huh?
- [engine revving]

Later, sucker.

What? Hey!

- [tires squeal]
- [coughs]

A few weeks later,
they met again

on the rainiest day
of the summer.


That's when Gramma realized
it's nice to accept

somebody's help once in a while.

But that wasn't the last time

your grampa managed
to surprise her.


[gasps and chuckles]

[grunts and gasps]

He had fixed Gramma's car up
so good,

it looked brand-new.

[gasps and laughs]

Ahem. Uh, Alice?

Your Grandpa didn't
have enough money for a ring,

so he offered the most
precious thing he had.

Your mother's pearls.

Alice, will you marry me?

Oh, my gosh, yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

But you're taking my last name.


Come here, you.


All right, now slap them on me.

And that's the story
of how Gramma and Grampa Green

fell in love.


Dad was a great guy, but he
wasn't some swashbuckling hero.

Ha. He was to me.

Wow, Gramma,

you never told us
Grampa had such cool stuff.

Oh, how dashing.

What else is in here?

[both laugh]

- Oh, dang, check this out.
- Cricket! No!