Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Photo Op/Remy Rescue - full transcript

Bill promises his family a trip to the mall food court but tricks them into going to a family portrait studio. Remy skips his violin lesson to hang out with Cricket.

♪ [whistling] ♪

[theme music plays]

♪ One, two,
one, two, three ♪

♪ La la la la,
la la la la ♪


♪ La la la la ♪


[hen clucks]

- ♪♪
- [Cricket panting]

You know there's
an up escalator.

I'm sorry, Dad,
but how can you expect me

to be rational
when for the first time ever

I'm going to the food court?

It's been my dream to go there,

ever since you told me
about it in the car
20 minutes ago.

Ha ha! Yep, that's where
we're goin'. The food court.

I'm gonna eat French fries,
and pizza,

then I'm gonna put
the French fries on the pizza,

then I'm gonna eat a hot dog,

and then
I'll probably throw up.

You talk big
for such a little feller.

This body was built for
long-term food storage.

Hot dogs, corn dogs,
chili dogs,

I'm comin' for ya, puppies.

A food... court?

You stand accused
of eating a valuable member
of our community.

How do you plead?

Guilty. And I'd do it again.

[all gasp]

I'm sentencing you
to 20 years of hard candy--

What are you doing?!

- [munching]
- [all screaming[

Bailiff! She's clearly deranged!

Bailiff! Huh?


I think I'm gonna
like this food court.

Okay, I think
the food court is
right around the corner.

[all] Ahhh...

Just a few more steps.


We're... here!

I-I don't understand.

We're gettin'
a family portrait!

I can't believe
the old food court
switcheroo worked!

Say "cheese."

[camera shutter clicks]

Aah! You tricked us!

Don't you all look
pretty as a picture.

Oh, I've been waitin'
for this day for so long!

This better be
a quick stop.

Yeah, when are we goin'
to the food court?

Oh, uh, well, we're... not.

I don't have enough cash
for both.

But if you're hungry,
I brought baby carrots.

- I want food court!
- Food court!

What? No! It's not a vote.
We're takin' the photo.

You bring me here,
you put me in shoes,

and now I find out
we're not even goin'
to the food court?!

Papa, you lied to us?

But you said lyin' is wrong.

No, no, no, sweetie,

you see, um, lying--
lying's okay

when it's for a fun surprise.

A surprise?

Hmm. I understand.

I didn't realize
I raised a dirty trickster!

Yeah! You're a dirty dad!

No, hear me out.

Time moves so fast,

and we're all gettin' older.

I mean, just look at how happy
these families are.

Precious moments,
preserved for all time.

I want that for us.

That was beautiful, Papa.

I wish Cricket and Gramma
coulda heard it.


[both cackling]

See ya at the food court!

Preserve this!

They took my wallet?!

Grrr! Tilly,

I'm goin' after 'em.

Promise me you'll stay put.

I promise.


Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Gramma] All right,
it should be a straight shot.

The target:
Code name: "Tasty Town."

Just remember,
if you fall behind,

you get left behind!

Tough but fair.

We gotta get a move on
if we're gonna blow that money

- before your dad--
- [both gasp]

Guys, come on!

Don't you wanna
take the picture?

Cricket, run!

No. No!

Come on, boy,
pick it up!

I'm trying,
but he's too fast!

I think the anger
and disappointment
are powering his legs.


- I have an idea.
- Aaah!

Now scram!

You two get back here! Whoa!


Eau de parfum sample?

[all] Free sample? Free sample!

What? No!

- Free hairstyling?
- Try our new body spray?

- Free personality test?
- Everybody needs a gyro-copter!

- [Bill] No!!!
- [both laughing]

Good-bye, shoes,
and hello, food court!


Are you shopping
for someone special?

Yes. Me.

These ones
are real dandy.

They sure are.

Finally gonna make a sale!

I think I'll take these
and these

and these.

No one ever buys those!

I'll take this thing, too.

That's not even for sale.

But please, take it!

Okay, I'm done.

You're gonna buy 'em all?!


Surprise! I'm a child.

I don't have any money!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

This, Kevin, is why
you're a sales associate

and not a sales specialist.

[Bill panting]

Oh, where'd they get off to?

- [squeak]
- Huh?

Cricket's shoe.


Ma! Cricket!

Aw, come on!

So I had to tell
an innocent little fib...


Oh. take a family photo.

Can you blame me?

Yes, yes, I do blame you.

- That's why I
stole the money!
- Shush!

Sure, the food court'll be fun
for a little while,

but a portait'll be fun forever!

Lies. Lies. More lies
from the liar man!

Quiet down!

We need a better
hidin' place.

[Tilly humming, gasps]

All aboard
the choo-choo train!

Next stop, back
to the daycare center.

[whistle blows]

Your wife called.
You won the lottery.

I won the lottery?

Yes! Yes!

I'm outta here!

See ya later, Tyler!

- [blowing whistle]
- [conductor laughing]


- Whee!
- Yeah!

Cricket, are you in here?


Ma? Where are ya?!


Are you looking for
your mommy too?

Benny, stop wandering off!

This isn't my mommy.

Ohh! Yes, I am!
Stop saying that!

Have you seen a little boy
and an old lady?

It's kind of an emergency.

Oh, funny you mention that.

I actually saw the--

Ohh. No, no.

Definitely didn't see
anything like that.

Are ya sure?

[voice trembling] Yes.

Hmm. I see.

Well, you seem like
you're tellin' the truth.

So I guess I'll be on my way.

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo... ♪

- [both laughing]
- I think we did it.

[both scream]

Stop acting like
a bunch of wild animals!

Taking a photo
will be fun!

We can even take a silly one
with bunny ears, if you like.


Don't you wanna make
a precious memory?

Oh, I'm always gonna
remember this day of lies.

And you know what rhymes
with "lies"? "Traumatized!"

I've never been
to a food court before.

I thought it was gonna be cool
and fun and wild,

and you tried
to take that away!

Well, not today!

Come on. This is
a lot of trouble

to go through
for nachos.

Run, Cricket!

Ma, you're not helping!



Oh, that's real comfy.


No! Dang it, Gramma.

It wasn't supposed
to be like this.

We were supposed to go
to the food court together.

But I'm already there, Cricket.

Ah, the food court
is beautiful.

I can taste the corn dog
right now.

[smacks lips]

Good night.

I'll pour one out
for ya, Gramma.

- Oop, time to go.
- Get back here!

- [train whistle blows]
- Aaah! Huh?

Hello, Cricket,
I commandeered
a choo-choo train!

- Next stop: food court!
- [kids] Yay!

- [Cricket] Ha ha!
- [Bill] Grrr!

[whistle blows]


[gulp] Oh, boy.

Go, Tilly, go!

- [Bill whimpering]
- What?



Oh, come on!

- Ow! Ow!
- Ow! Ow!

Tilly! I need you
to go faster.

Much faster.
We need to put
the pedal to the metal.


There's only one speed.

Come on, come on.


[both screaming]



- Aaah!
- Aaah!

Stop. Stop.

Just... stop.

- [whimpering]
- No. No. Aah!

We're gettin' a family photo,
and that's that.

No! We were so close!


So, how'd they turn out?

Does it look like
a precious moment preserved
through all time?

I don't know.
You tell me.

What? They look miserable.

They look so...unhappy.

Huh? Hmm. Oh, yeah.

Hold on one second.

- [tapping keyboard]
- And...there.

Amazing what technology
can do these days.

Wow. I guess
that does look better.

It sure does.
So how many would you
like to buy?


Glad to see y'all
happy again.

I guess bein' happy
is more important
than lookin' happy.

Some things you just
can't capture in a photo.

Precious moments like these.

[gagging, coughing]

Oh. That was almost
my last precious moment
right there.

Still, I do wish I had
one good photo of y'all.

But, hey, who needs to pose
for a professional
family photo

when I've got the best
of my family right here.

Excuse me.

I believe there's a hair
in this here milkshake.

I'm so sorry.
Lemma just--

There. It's gone now.

Here's your refund.


- Come on, big guy.
- I don't understand.

[Bill] All right, everyone,
say "cheese!"

[all groaning, talking]

[Gramma] The cameras
are behind ya!

- No! Hold on!
- Come on!

[Bill] This thing really doesn't
give you any kind of warning.

[all] Cheese!


Welcome, folks, to the first
annual Mud Pit Long Jump!

Remy! Any last words?

Live fast, die young!

- Also, can you hold my phone?
- Sure.

- And they're off!
- [pig squealing]


I feel so alive!

Unh! Ooh! Ah! Aah!



It's a new record!

[phone ringing]

Hey, Remy,
your mom's callin'.

Don't worry.
I got it.

No, Cricket.
Don't answer it!

Hi, Sweetie.

Just checking in to--
Wait, who is this?


[gasps] Where's my son?!

Why, he's right here.

Hello, Mother.

Where are you?

Why aren't you
at your violin lesson?

- Beep beep.
- What is going on?

Mother! I can explain!

I am at my lesson.

It's just that I-- heh!

I fell out the window.

Sweetie, I'm a lawyer.

If you're
going to lie to me,

you're going to have to do
a better job than that.


Time out! You really
fumbled this one, son!

We're sending Vasquez!

- But wait, I--
- [tires screech]

Well, Cricket
it was nice knowing you.

What the heck
is goin' on?


Have a nice day.

- Remy!
- Remy!

Tilly, we gotta
follow 'em! Come on!




Following on foot--
bad idea.

Cricket, look!

[Cricket] Whoa!

Whoever stole
Remy's loaded.

I had no idea
bein' a criminal

was such
a high-income profession.

- Aah! Oh!
- Shh!


That's the guy
who took Remy.


Careful, Tilly.
We don't know

what kind of monsters
we're dealin' with.

Huh? Aah!

No, Tilly! Tilly!
Save me, Tilly!

Oh. Heh. It's fake.


My name's Cricket. Aah!

Somebody help me!

[chuckling] That's you.

Wow, where the heck
are we?

Wait. Does Remy...
live here?

- [Remy] I'll go to twice
as many violin lessons.
- Huh?

[Remy continues indistinctly]

Okay. Yeah.

Okay, bye.

- [beeps]
- [sighs]

- Remy!
- Aah!

Cricket! Wait,
you shouldn't be here!

What's goin' on, Remy?

Why'd that guy snatch you?
Do you live here?

Not for long.
Cricket, listen to me!

I'm in the deepest doo-doo
I've ever been doo'd.

You see, I've kind
of been blowing off
my lessons

to hang out with you.

All of my lessons.

- [scraping]
- Well, yeah!
Lessons are boring.

But now my parents know.

And they are livid!

We're all livid
till the day we die.

It's bad, Cricket.
Really bad.

Hey, if you hate
lessons so much,

why don't you
just tell your parents?

I tell my dad
I don't want to do
stuff all the time.

He hates it, but I'm fine.

I don't know.
I've never talked
to them like that.

Here, I'll help ya!

Uh-oh! Remy,
it's us, your parents!

Time to go do math!
Chores, chores, chores!

Is there anything
you wanted to say to us?

Just say it and we'll
find a compromise!

I... think I don't...

want to... go to...

What was that?

You were like
a different person
just now.

but it doesn't matter!

It's too late!

My parents are sending me
to boarding school,

and I'll never
see you guys again.

- Hmm!
- Hmm!

Just leave it to us!
We'll help you, Remy.

You'll never have
to take lessons again
if you don't want to.

First things first,
we gotta escape
this fortress.

Okay! The only way out is
through the front gate.

We'll have to get the keys.
from my bodyguard--


[Remy] Help!

[gasps] The shrill cry
of Master Remy!

Help me, Vasquez!

His weak arms can't hold!

I'm coming for you,
Master Remy!



What the... ?



What's goin' on?

I'm sorry, Vasquez!

I'm not.
Gimme those keys!

Hey! Your parents
aren't gonna be
happy about this!

Well, Remy's parents
aren't here.

Or are they?
Heh heh heh!

[all gasp]

I'm really in for it now.

Cricket, what do I do?

They can't punish you
if they can't get in!

Aah! Ahh!


Yah! [laughs]

There's has got
to be a better way.

[objects crashing]

- Wait, Cricket! Follow me!
- Okay.

watch the prisoner!

My pleasure.

It's just you
and me now.

[menacing] And we're
gonna have some fun.

[cheery] I'm gonna find
a board game!

I'll be right back.


This is Vasquez's
security room.

We can hide out in here.

Whoa! Hey, look!
Your parents are on the TV,

and they're
about to get in!

This button
will lock the doors!

Well, what are you
waitin' for?

Wha-- I'm not allowed
to press it!

Well, then I'll press it!

[both gasp]

Open up these barricades!

Ooh, they look mad.

What are we gonna do,

We just need
to show 'em who's boss.

Listen up, suits,

[on intercom] I claim this house
in the name of Remy!

That voice! You're the urchin
that was with my Remy!

Son, we're breaking
through your defensive line,

and when we find you,
you'll wish I was only speaking

in football metaphors!

Oh, man, Cricket!

Okay, maybe
we should let them in.

Remy, we can't.

We're in too deep!

This game sounds fun.

It's called Whoopsie Daddle.

I... Oh.

[sighs] He escaped.

Well, if that's the way
you want to play,

let the real game begin,

[ominous music]

Ooh, what
are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

Whoa, whoa, buddy, relax.

Just spit-ballin' here.

We move
to the Mongolian tundra
and become nomads.

That seems too cold.

South America?

That seems too hot.

Mars! They colonized
Mars, right?

If not,
we colonize Mars!

Uh, I don't know
about that.

Well, I don't know.
I'm out of ideas.

Remy, what do you
want to do?


What's happening?





A million apologies,

We'll deal
with you later, Vasquez.

Now where's
my sweet baby boy?

- [screaming]
- Remy this is no time
to be screaming!

It's all going down
in flames!

Uh, what now?

Why did I think
I could have it all?

I was in way over my head!

I faked a blood test

so that my teacher
would think I was sick!

A blood test!

I mean,
it's their fault really.

They decide
everything I do!

Easy, easy. We still
have time to figure it out.

Well, of course,
unless your parents possess

some kind of anger-induced

- Aah!
- Aah!

Remy Remington!

You're in big trouble,
young man!

We can explain. I--

Wait. Your name's
Remy Remington?

- Yeah. Why?
- No reason. [chuckles]

And you!

What qualifies you
to spend time with our child?

- Well, I--
- [ribbits]

Not now. Heh heh.

- Hmm!
- Hmm!

Well, this is
completely unnecessary.

I can walk just fine.

We're taking you
straight to boarding school.

Remy, do it now!
Talk to them!


Uh, Mom, Dad?

Can I not go
to boarding school?

Now, now,
enough of that, son.

We need to get you away
from these bad influences.

Hey, I'm a good influence!

When will I get
to see Cricket again?

Hopefully, never.




Tough break, kid.

Master Remy seemed
really find of you.

Now let's get you
back home.

- [thumping in vent]
- Huh?!

Whoopsie Daddle!
Cricket, run!


Aaah yaah!

Go, Cricket!

Mr. and Mrs. Remington!

Please listen to me!

Oh, my goodness!
That boy is crazy!

I know you don't
like me much,

but I have something to say!

[muffled gibberish]

What is he saying?

It's not important,

Vasquez Senior,
shake him off
into the pool!

Roger roger.


Ooh! He's
really holding on.

Vasquez Senior,
shake harder!

-[Mrs. Remington]
Who is that boy anyway?

He's my friend!



I don't want to go
to boarding school!

I don't like
calligraphy lessons,

water polo lessons,
or cashmere sweaters!

- [both gasp]
- I want to go outside more,

and I want to make
my own decisions,

like a big boy.

Ahem. [deeper voice]
I mean, like a big boy.

I like it
here in Big City.

And I want to stay
here with my friend!

Sweetie, where did you learn
to be so assertive?

From him!

[crazed laughter]


Your assertiveness lessons
were never this effective.

Dear, maybe
letting Remy stay

and allowing him
to interact with this "Cricket"

is the best thing
for him right now.

[gasps] Really?!

You mean it?!

Yeah! Huh?



Remy! Remy!


- Remy!
- Cricket!

[both laughing]


Remy, we wanted to say
two things to you.

- Yes, Mother?
- We love you.


And we're late
for a meeting. Be good!



Vasquez, keep an eye
on Remy.

Or else you're
outta the game, mister.

Come on, Cricket,
let's go finish
that pig long jump.

Whatever you want, Buddy.

I think
it's Vasquez's turn.

Sounds good to me.

Wha-- ? [sighs]

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet
and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
at seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪