Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 29 - Skunked/Axin' Saxon - full transcript

[theme song plays]

♪ One, two
One, two, three ♪

[vocalizing]

These muffins look
a bit stale.

Better make sure they're
up to company standards.

Ahh... whoa!

-Really, Cricket?
-[awkward chuckle]

I've told you
a million times--

If you want muffins, you have to
pay for them like everyone else.

Now, get back to work!

[mockingly]
"Get back to work."



-I heard that!
-[door opens]

[all gasp]

Oh, my gosh!
Wow, it's really him!

-Who dat?
-You don't know?

That's Mark.
He's the local hero.

Did anyone lose these?

-That was amazing!
-You're much braver than I am.

-Good stuff, man.
-Gosh you're so cool.

-What a good guy.
-[scoffs] I coulda done that.

-You wish.
-Excuse me.

I found this empty can
four miles away,

and I was wondering
if you have recycling.

Oh, recycling!
Of course!

And for your bravery,
have a free muffin.



-What?
-Wow! Thank you.

-Does anyone wanna
split this with me?
-What the heck?

That guy gets free muffins
just for showin' up?

When people see me,
all I get is,

"Oh, why is that little boy
not wearing shoes?"

Or "Sir, this isn't
a restroom."

What's Mark got
that I don't?

Maybe if you did
something heroic,
you'd get muffins too.

Heroic?

[all chanting]
Hero! Hero! Hero!

Hail, brave warrior!

May I offer you a muffin?

Heh! No, thanks.

I already had, like,
a million.

I must become a hero.

[Cricket grunting]

Oh, no! A cat?
Stuck in a tree?

It looks like you need
a hero to save you.

Dirtbag, what are you doing?
Just let me rescue you.

[exclaims, groans]

-[meows]
-Fine. I'll just rescue
someone else!

All right, who's in need
of saving? Huh?

[gasps] That old lady's
gonna fall into that hole!

I'll save you-ou-ou!

Oh, my.
What are you doing?

-I just saved you
from that hole.
-Hole?

It's just a drawing.

What? Aw, it was just
a dang illusion.

Hey, watch where
you're stepping.

Chalk is a very
fickle medium.

Oh, my bad. Whoop!

Sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.

Darn. Struck out twice.
What now?

-[gasps]
-[bug chittering]

I'll save you, little buggy!

Gaah! Gotcha!

[chuckles]
Careful, little guy.

It's not safe to
play in the street.

-You could get hit by a....
-[horn blaring]

You okay, little guy?

Wow, Mark!
That was amazing!

You just saved
that little boy!
What a hero!

Hey!
What about me?

I was saving this bug.

Hmm? Ooh.

This bug is in
critical condition.

I must administer mouth-to-mouth
immediately. [whistles]

-Wow! You go, Mark!
-Look at him save that bug!

-Eh, this hero stuff is hard.
-[clattering]

Skunks? Their stinky spray
can be pretty dangerous.

But maybe a little danger
is just what I need.

All right,
we're in position.

Let's go over...
the plan.

Step one: I let you in
through the back door
of the cafe.

Step two: You terrorize
all the customers.

Aah! Oh, no!
I'm so scared!

Step three:
I come in and say,

"Begone, stinky boys!"

That's your cue
to run out of there.

Way to go, kid!

Step four:
I am hailed as a hero.

So what do you think?
We got a deal?

Heh! I like you guys.
Now, let's get to it!

[chuckles]

And here is your small
Big Coffee.

[chuckles] Uh, just
tryin' to keep it fun.

Aah! Skunks!
Skunks in the cafe!

[panicked shouting]

Everyone just stay calm!

Oh, my gosh! Skunks?

Luckily a hero is here!

-Cricket?
-[exclaims]

Begone, stinky boys!

Uh, I said,

begone, stinky boys!

-[snarling]
-I can't go out like this!

I got kids!
I gotta get out of here!

Wait, mister! Don't go!

[grunting]

-Huh? Ah!
-[skunk snorts]

Huh? Aah! Aah! No-o-o!

-Oh, my gosh!
-Oh, biscuits.

-Waah! Oof!
-Ugh! This is a disaster.

Cricket, keep an eye
on the customers.

I'm gonna call
Animal Control.

Animal Control? No!
I'm supposed to be the hero.

I gotta get this plan
back on track.

That's right, Officer.
All the exits are barricaded.

Okay, thank you.

Animal Control is on their way.
We've just got to wait it out.

[Cricket]
That won't be necessary!

Who needs Animal Control
when you've got Cricket Green,

Skunk Hunter, M.D.

Cricket, what are you doing?
You're just gonna get them
riled up.

That's a risk
I'm willing to take.

-Cricket, no.
Just wait for the--
-[woman] Wow!

Do you really think
you can save us?

That would make you,
like, a hero.

[chanting]
Hero! Hero! Hero!

Heh! Thank you
for your support, citizens.

-[snarling]
-All right, you three,

your reign of terror
has gone on long enough!

Take cover, everyone.
This could get messy.

Guys, what the heck
are you doing?

Animal Control's
gonna be here any second!

So let's stick
to the plan,

and we'll split the muffins
like we agreed.

Aah! You know,

I'm starting to think you can't
actually understand me.

All right, I guess I'm gonna
have to be a hero for real!

-[shouts]
-[crash]

-[shouts, gasps]
-[growling]

W-Wait! Don't do this!
I have a family!

Oh, wait. This is a coupon
for corn dogs.

Aah!

Gaah!

[clears throat]
So, good news and bad news.

Bad news:
The skunks are still there.

Uh, what's the good news?

-I found a coupon!
-[all] Boo!

See? I told you
you'd only make it worse.

Okay, the results might not be
as good as I promised,

but I've got a new plan,
a better plan!

-We... escape!
-Boo!

Remember what happened
to the last guy that
tried to escape?

They won't let me on the bus!

-[sobbing]
-[Cricket] No, no, no.

We go...
through the vents!

What? Cricket,
there's no way
we'll fit in there.

Sure, you can.

You just gotta shimmy,
like this.

[grunting]

-Huh?
-See? It's easy!

Cricket,
you let the skunks in?

-Uh...
-You traitor!

No, wait!
I can explain!

I just wanted everyone
to treat me like a hero!

Well, you can
forget about it.

You'll never be a hero.

Gloria I...
[exclaiming]

-Boo!
-Get out of here, you villain!

You stink more
than the skunks!

[woman] Get lost,
you big, stinky phony!

[man] Shimmy!
Shimmy in shame!

Welp, no muffins for me.

Being a hero just isn't
in my blood, I guess.

That's the second time today.

You've got to be
more careful, kid.

Thanks, Mark.
You're my hero.

Yikes!
That was a close one!

Hmm.
If I'd hit you,

would I have had to
arrest myself?

Oh, well.
Guess we'll never know.

-Officer, permission
to ask a question.
-Permission granted.

What is Animal Control
doing here?

We got a report
about some skunks

holding people captive
in Big Coffee.

Lucky for them,
I brought an expert.

-Ahem. Surprise.
-Tilly?

That's Skunk Expert Green
to you, civilian.

Now let's see what
we're dealing with.

[Tilly] These skunks
are extremely agitated.

The more upset they get,

the more they fill up
with stink!

Pushed to their limit,

they could turn into a bomb
of stink-- a stink bomb.

How could you
let this happen?

I'll have your badge
for this!

Not Mr. Shine-Shine!

-I'm goin' in there!
-No! You can't!

They could blow
any second!

Even the slightest sound
could set them off.

There's nothing
we can do.

[wailing]

Those poor souls!

Hmm.

I don't get it, Mark.

Why would you willfully
put yourself in danger?

You're already a hero.

You can get all
the free muffins you want!

Muffins? I don't do it
for the hope of a reward.

I do it to help others.

So you're telling me
that for you,

helping people
is like... muffins?

Hold on.
I gotta think about this.

[grunting]

-Are you...
-He's fine.
This is how he learns.

Helping people
is its own reward!

-There it is.
-Out of the way, Mark.

I gotta do something.
-Good luck, little fella.

-[all gasping]
-[snarling]

If we make it
out of this alive,
I just want to say

I'm sorry that
I never tip you.

It's okay. I'm sorry
I always spit
in your coffee.

Hey, everyone, I'm getting
you guys out of here.

Uh, no, thanks.

We'd rather get skunked
than get rescued by you!

Well, too bad!

Hey, you skunks,
follow me!

He's making some
bold moves in there.

As long as he doesn't
agitate them further,

everything will be fine.

[taunting, ululating]

Evacuate the city.

I have them distracted.
Now, get out of here!

Go, go, go, go, go!

[panting]

-[snarling]
-Wait, no! Come back!
It's me you want!

Wait! Stay back!

[gasps]

Gloria! No-o-o!

[groans]

Oh, it got in my mouth!

No! Oh, it tastes
worse than it smells!

-Cricket!
-[snarling]

Get down!
They're gonna blow!

Gloria, you gotta
get outta here!

Cricket, what are you doing?
Don't be a hero!

Heh. For the first time
in my life,

I know what being a hero
actually means.

You know, I...

-Oh, she left.
-[skunks snarling]

All right, maybe if I hold
my breath, I can...

So... stinky.

These skunks are
all gassed out.

They won't be stinking up
cafes anytime soon.

-I'll drive.
-Ooh! I call shotgun!

Hey, Cricket.
So I talked to...

Oh! Wow, you smell awful.
So I talked to...

[gags] Okay, I'm just
gonna power through this.

I talked to the customers,
and luckily they're not
gonna sue.

But they're still
very, very angry.

Aw, geez. I'm sorry, Gloria.
I really messed up.

What you did
was stupid, but...

coming back for us?
That was pretty heroic.

So, here you go.

You really mean it?
I've been waiting

since this morning
for one of these!

Hmm. Tastes like skunk.

How dare you trespass
on my property?

Yaah! [chuckles]

We'll trim you weeds
down to size!

-Yaah!
-More tea, Mama?

Thanks shug, but I think
12 cups is my limit.

And how about you,
Saxon?

Saxon-- Is that
this little fella's name?

Oh, that's right.
You haven't met Saxon yet.

He's my closest compatriot-
slash-spiritual advisor.

[in Saxon's voice]
I also teach piano
on the weekends.

Nice to finally
meet you, Saxon.

Sometimes I forget
just how long I've been gone.

-[horn honks]
-We're heading out, girls.

I've been working
like a dog lately

and am long overdue for
a relaxing day of fishing.

I'm gonna catch so many fish,
we'll be drowning in 'em!

And I'm wearing a sailor's hat!
Toot-toot!

[chuckles]
I hope you boys have fun.

And, hey, Bill,
thanks again for letting me
spend the day with Tilly.

It'll be really nice
to make up some of
that lost time.

No problemo, Nance.
Now if you'll excuse us.

[all chanting] Fishing boys!
Fishing boys! Fishing boys!

All right, Tilly girl,
I got an idea for some fun.

Saxon and I love fun.

Well, have a seat
right here.

Mama, I thought you said
this would be fun.

Welcome to the splash zone!

[both laughing]

Refreshing!

You still playing
with that sack of junk?

When I was your age,
I buried all my dolls

right there
in the yard!

I don't know who keeps
leaving the flowers.

But I'm bonded to Saxon,

Just like you
and your sword.

What?
No, this is different.

Swordy's special.
That thing's just weird!

Come on, now, Alice.
As long as I'm back around,

I won't let you say another word
about Tilly's... friend.

-Fine. Have fun playing
in the mud, ya hippies.
-Thanks, Mama.

It's nice to know that
Saxon has a protector.

I love you, Mama.
And I also like you.

[stifled sobs]

Well I'm gonna go squeeze
the water out of my socks

and see how prune-y
my feet look.

Yes! Nancy, you are really
racking up the mom points.

Saxon, right?
Let's get you cleaned up.

There we go.
That oughta do it.

Nancy, as a mom,
you done good.

-[clattering]
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[gasps]

Cream of Wheat!

Uh, Dad, are you sure this is
a good area for fishing?

There doesn't seem
to be any fish around.

It's a good area
for relaxin',

and that's exactly...

[stretching yawn]
...what I plan to do.

[scoffs]
Well, relax away, old man.

I'm on a mission. I'm gonna
catch the biggest fish out here.

Wow, Cricket!

You did such a great job
catching me.

-You earned this!
-You bet I did.

Hey, wait!
What are you...
[screams]

Wow! My buddy
with a trophy fish!

Cricket, I'm sure
he'll take the bait--

hook, line, and sinker!

[gasps] Those are all words
that a fishing man would say!

Oh, sweet Remy,
never grow up.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Don't freak out.
You can fix this.

-Just as long
as Tilly doesn't...
-[gasps]

Saxon?

-Tilly, sweetie, I can explain.
-Give him to me!

Oh, beautiful Saxon,
hang in there!

He's gone.

Oh, Tilly girl, I'm sorry.
I gotta come clean.

You know, Mama,

death is an undeniable
fact of life.

but murder must be avenged.

The one who did this
will not be forgiven.

Gramma will pay.

Well, it was an accident--
Wait, Gramma?

I can't believe she actually
went behind our backs

and did this to poor,
angelic Saxon.

Uh, I guess
Gramma doing it

-would certainly
make sense, but--
-Don't worry, Mama.

I'm just gonna
have a little chat
with dear old Gramma.

Like a friendly chat?

Tilly? Tilly?

[chuckles]
We didn't show those weeds

-any mercy, did we?
-Aah!

I got a bone
to pick with you!

Huh?
Is that the sack man?

Looks like the dog
had some fun with him.

Look, Tilly, your Gramma
probably feels guilty

and is a little scared
about owning up to it.

I mean, I know I would be

if I ever did
something so horrible.
[nervous chuckle]

Oh, Mama, you aren't capable
of such cruelty.

You are kind and noble
and honest.

But Gramma is
none of those things.

And until she confesses,

I am going to make her life
a waking nightmare!

I don't know
what you're on about,

but I'd like to see you try.

What are you gonna do
about it?

I will fight you!

-[both growl]
-[nervous groan]

[muttering]

Hmm? Huh.

[chuckles]

Aw!

Ahh!

Gaah!

Oh, good.

I thought this bath was
a little too... hot!

I will break you,
old woman.

Ah! Hmm?

Hmm. Ah...

[munching]
Mmm, mmm, mmm!

-Dee-licious.
-[scoffs]

[humming tune]
Ahh!

Time for my stories.
What now?

Oh, an ominous message
written in red liquid.

If you're lookin' to scare me,

you're gonna have to try
a lot harder.

-Confess.
-Never!

I don't know what
you're talking about,

but I'll never confess to it!

I was going easy
on you before,

but it looks like I will
have to summon my full wrath!

[Nancy]
Okay, that's enough.

Gramma's not broken yet.
I'm gonna have to up the ante.

I am so glad
you're on my side, Mama.

Let's go outside
for some fresh air.

It's guilty--
I mean, stuffy in here.

[groans] It's been hours,
and nothing's biting!

Maybe these city fish
think they're too good
for normal bait.

What? Too good
for people food?

Don't tell me
you're too good for cash!

Everybody has
their price!

Hmm. Seem to be missin'
my wallet. Eh, no matter.

Worries are for dry land.
We're on the water now.

Hey fellas, come on over here
and relax. I made hoagies!

Ooh, a break sounds nice.

What! Remy, you said
you'd help me catch a fish!

You'd choose to help your friend
over eatin' a hoagie, right?

Depends.
Is there cheddar cheese on it?

-[Bill] There is.
-Then yeah. Sorry, Cricket.

-Toss me a hoagie, Mr. Green!
-Remy!

Ah, Remy. Relax

and get in tune
with the waves.

Let the bobbing of the water
be the bobbing of your soul.

Oh, I'm starting to
really like fishing!

Fine! Enjoy lazing about!

Okay, Cricket,
focus all your energy.

Bite. Bite, fish.

Come on!
Bite, fish. Bite!

-[Remy gasps] Oh, we got a bite!
-It worked!

Yeah, seems to be
on my line.

[chuckles]
And I wasn't even
doin' nothin'.

Come on, get it, get it!

Well, now I just got to
scootch over and--

Excuse me Remy.

[grunts]
Here we go.

Now to reel it in and...
Oh, it's gone.

Oh, well.
It was a thrill
while it lasted.

[exclaiming]

[gasps] Gaah!

Ugh, I just don't know
what to do!

It's not right to let Gramma
take the fall for my mistake.

But if I tell Tilly what I did,
she might hate me forever!

[sighs] But she's had time
to calm down, right?

Oh, my gosh.

Remember, Priscilla,

you'll get more seed
when the job is done.

Now, maim her!

Actually, I think I'll hold off.
Tilly!

-Oh, hello, Mama.
-Hey, Tilly girl.

Why don't you step away
from the chicken

and come on a walk with me?

I know you're really mad
at Gramma, but I want you

to try and imagine
if the roles were reversed.

Wouldn't you want forgiveness
if you destroyed something
Gramma loved?

If I destroyed something
Gramma loved?

I think I understand,
Mama.

-I know what I must do.
-Wow, that actually worked.

Tilly's really gonna go
make up with Gramma and--

-Wait, what is she doing?
-Someone there?

Oh, Gramma, say goodbye
to your sword!

-What?
-Oh, no.

Thanks for the advice,
Mama!

Tilly, that's not
what I meant!

-[maniacal laughter]
-You get back here, Tilly!

-[screaming]
-Give me back my sword!

Oh, you'll get your sword back--
in itty-bitty pieces!

Outta my way!

Oh, gosh.
I'm so sorry about this.

Just a little family spat.

-Ha!
-Wow, a real sword!

Get back here,
you little...

[growls, spits]

Now, you listen up,
Tilly Green.

If you don't fork over
my sword right now, I'll--

[gasps] Wait!

Tilly! Where'd you...
[gasps]

You... You wouldn't dare!

Gramma, you've got
three seconds

to admit your wrongdoing
and apologize!

-Don't you do it!
-Three!

-I'm warning you, girl!
-Two!

-Tilly!
-One!

Tilly, stop! It was me!
I destroyed Saxon!

What? Oh, whoops.

No-o-o-o!

[gasping]
Swordy-y-y-y!

Mama, you killed Saxon?

-Well, yes, but--
-And you lied to me?

Yes, and I'm so sorry.
I just didn't know what to do.

I was trying to clean him up,
and he exploded in
the washing machine.

I know I shouldn't have let
Gramma take the fall,

but I didn't want you
to stop liking me.

Mama, I am upset that
you lied to me.

But I'd never stop
liking you.

-I love you too much.
-Oh, shug.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I should apologize to Gramma.

Oh, right.
She jumped off the bridge.

I can't catch anything.

[chuckles]
Ah, this is livin'.

-Oh, hey, son.
How's the fishing going?
-Terrible.

I failed!
I didn't even get one dang bite!

So I figured I might as well
join you guys.

-Happy to have you.
-Hear, hear.

[all slurp] Ahh!

Oh, my gosh!
We've all got bites!!

It's a Fishmas Miracle!

Dad! Dad!
I got a fighter!

Reel him in, my boy!

Yeah, Cricket!
You can do it!

-Huh?
-Where do you suppose
that came from--

-[screams]
-Gimme back my sword!

There we go.

Saxon 2.0
is ready to rumble.

[in Saxon's voice]
I am more powerful
than death itself!

Oh, thank you, Mama!
He's perfect.

Scee-use me, ladies.
Now, that's a trophy.

Boy, how many times
do I have to tell you?

That ain't a fish!
That's my sword!

Obviously Gramma has never
seen a... swordfish.

[all laughing]

Ah, come on.
It's not that funny.

Why is everyone
still laughin'?

What's wrong
with you people?

This is a nightmare!

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ I lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪

♪ And I fell out
A big, old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ A got chased by a dog
Bit by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
At seven and 10 ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪