Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - Gargoyle Gals/Supermarket Scandal - full transcript

[theme music playing]

One, two!
One, two, three, four!

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

[chicken squawks]

And a-one, and a-two,

and a-jump!

When I say jump, you jump.

-[whistling]
-Hey, Cricket!

Over here!
You'll play with me, right?

These guys aren't giving me
a whole lot to work with.



Ooh, no can do, Tilly.

I have a best-friend day
planned with Remy.

Oh, there he is now!

Hey, Cricket!

I bought us hot dogs!

Oh! Uh! Oh, no!

Aah!

Bye, Tilly.

Okay, have fun.

It's nice that
Cricket found a friend
so quickly in the city.

Makes me glad
to have you, Saxon.

It's just you, me,
and the creepy gargoyles

on the building
across the street.

[ominous music playing]



I suppose my pool of friends
is a little shallow.

Well, that does it.
I'm off to find
a person friend!

Serendipity, take me away!

[groans]

Not a word, please.

[giggling]

All right...
a friend for Tilly.

Hmm, too jazzy.

-Too aggressive.
-Huh huh huh huh huh!

[gobbling]

Maybe.

Innocent fools,
they have no idea

their entire world
is a lie.

Uh, hello there.

Aah!

What are you doing?

How dare you spy on me

while I'm spying
on other people!

Hi. My name
is Tilly Green.

Tilly Green you say.

Green like a lizard person?!

Are you part of the secret
lizard person society?

Can a lizard do this?

[slapping knees]
Yeah!

Hmm, well there's nothing
in here about smooth moves.

You sure got a suspicious mind
in that head of yours.

What's your name?

My name is-- um...

Andromeda? Oh.

Is that your real name?

Yes!

Listen, Tilly,
pod people, wolfmen, aliens.

They're all listening
all the time,

and only I know the truth.

Now, what do you
think about that?!

Let's be friends.

Sorry, Tilly.
I ride alone.

[grunts]

Wait! I know some truths!

Some shocking,
revealing truths.

You do?

Yes. Uh, the-the truth is...

trees, they're alive!

-And they eat humans!
-[man screaming]

I feel like I would
have heard about that.

Right. Uh... Oh! Oh!

There's an entire underground
society of little men

that, uh... uh... that, uh...

[mutters]
I don't know.

Listen, Tilly,
I-I'd like to hang,

but I just got too much
goin' on.

Think, Tilly!
You're losin' her!

The gargoyles!

-[bell tolls, thunder claps]
-They come alive at night,

and are super scary!

[sinister laughter]

-I saw it!
-Whoa! You saw it?

All questions
will be answered
at my house!

-Let's go!
-Aah!

[Andromeda]
So what you're saying is

the gargoyle statues
have magic ruby hearts

that allow them
to come to life at night

and run the government?!

Huh? Uh, yep.

That is exactly
what I saw.

Whatcha doin' down there?
Uncoverin' more secrets?

Oh, uh...

just workin'
on a different mystery.

The world's gonna freak
once they learn the truth.

Thanks for sharing it
with me, Tilly.

Ha! Well,
yeah, you know me.

Seeker of truth.

Ah! Nothin' like comin'
home and rippin' off
all your clothes.

I see we have company.

And who might you be?

Cricket,
this is my frie--

Paranormal
investigation partner.

Tilly and I are uncovering
a little gargoyle problem.

Say what now?

Yeah, well, uh...

As it turns out, uh,

gargoyles are alive
and rule us all.

[laughing]

Tilly, what's gotten
into you?

Did this girl
brainwash you?

Blink twice if you
want me to call the police.

Well, I suppose all this
is a little silly.

Oh, well. Let's
forget all about it
and go watch a movie.

No! Your brother thinks
you're spouting lies.

We gotta get proof
to show him and
everyone the truth!

La la la la la!

We've got
our eyes on you.

Ya hear that, ugly?!

Oh, a stakeout!
This'll be fun!

We'll hang out, tell stories.

And wait for the gargoyles
to come to life!

Then you'll snap the photo
for proof, right, Tilly?

Say cheese!

Aah!

Oh, I also brought
some stakeout snacks.

What do you, uh,
think of the message?

I'll just set them here.

-Oh.
-[shatters]

You're wasting your time.
Statues of things

-don't just
magically come to life!
-[squawks, wings flapping]

If they did,
I'd be hangin' out

with that funny burger clown
right now.

I bwought you
another offering.

Oh, man, if he were alive,
he'd make me laugh
and laugh! [laughs]

But just like the gargoyles,
it's not gonna happen!

Aah!

Uh... let me
go talk to him.

Cricket! I don't believe
in this gargoyle stuff.

I just made it up
so Andromeda would
be my friend.

Wow. You know this is
all gonna blow up
in your face, right?

I know it's bad I lied,

but we have
so much in common.

She even likes
when I do this. [pop]

Aah! Stop it, Tilly!
You know I hate that noise!

-[pop pop]
-Oh, love that sound, Tilly!

Keep it up!

Ugh. Maybe you two
are good for each other.

All right, I'm in.

Is there any way
I can help out?

Actually, there is
something you can do.

Well, now that
it's just the two of us,

perhaps
our luck will change.

Hey, Tilly, I know
we're saving the world

and it's super serious,

but I'm actually
havin' a lot of fun.

I usually do
this kind of stuff alone.

It's a lot more fun
with a...

[Tilly, thinking]
Friend!

With a... person
with common interests.

Hmm.

Also, I snagged us
some cookies.

I had to fight off
some ants, though.

What?

-[whoosh]
-[Andromeda] What the... ?

[gasps] A gargoyle!

Tilly!
Get your camera ready!

[suspenseful music playing]

[hisses]
I'm a magic gargoyle,

-and I've come to-- Ooh!
-Aaah!

Oh, my gosh.

-Die, gargoyle!
-Andromeda!

Wait a second.

This isn't a gargoyle.

It's just
your little brother.

Hi.

Well, Tilly, it was
fun while it lasted.

I'm goin' home.

Wait!
What about the stakeout?

What's the point?

It's not like
we're gonna see
any real gargoyles.

But you can't go!

'Cause... Uh, 'cause...

we're gonna climb up
to the roof

of that creepy old tower

and wake up
those gargoyles!

Really? How?

With, uh....

With this magic hammer!

Ha ha! Now you're talkin'!

Catch 'em at the scene
of the action.

Great idea, Tilly!
Let's go!

Uh, bad idea, Tilly.
That's way too dangerous!

It should be telling
that I'm the one sayin' that.

Don't you think I know that?

I can't turn back now.
I'm in too deep!

What's that, Tilly?

I mean, uh, uh...

stay out of our way!

[whispering]
Help me, Cricket!

Huh?

Don't try and help me!

-Okay.
-Please help me.

Wait! Help you
or don't help you?

Which is it?

[shouting] Which is it?!

[echoing]

[thunder]

All right, Tilly,
this is it.

[Officer Keys]
May I help you girls?

[gasps]
Good evenin', officer.

You're probably wonderin'
why two kids like us

are out so late
and not safe at home.

That's exactly
what I was wondering.

But then I realized I should
mind my own business.

You two have fun now
with whatever you're doing.

Bye now!

Hoo! That was close!

So close.

Huh-- Ooh!

[Andromeda giggling]

Boy, Tilly, I had no idea
you were such a thrill-seeker.

Yeah. Heh heh...
me, neither.

Sorta wish someone
would stop me.

Tilly, you gotta stop!
Stop!

[ominous music playing]

Oh, Tilly,
what are you doin'?

We're wakin'
the gargoyles!

Right, right.
How could I forget?

Okay. Maybe this gargoyle
will wake up.

Then all my problems
will be solved,

and Andromeda and I
will be friends,

and everything will be perfect.

-[tap tap]
-[wind whistling]

I'm dead.

What's the holdup?

We're so close!

Uh, Andromeda, even if
the gargoyles don't wake up,

we could still
hang out, ri--

Oh! What are you doin?!

Oh, it's time
to wake up, buddy!

Tilly, get the camera!

Ooo... okay.

[panting]

I just climbed a million stairs
to save your butt!

Oh, my gosh!
What's she doin'?!

Tilly, you gotta come clean!

But I don't want to
lose my friend!

Well, you're gonna
lose her anyway

when she falls
off the building!

Andromeda, climb back!

He's not going to wake up!

No, no, no,
I think it's working.

Whoa! Oh, no!
The magic hammer!

Andromeda, listen!

I lied.
I made the whole thing up.

The gargoyles aren't magic.

They're just ugly statues.

Now please
get off the ledge!

What?
Tilly, you lied to me?

Don't stand up! Don't stand up!

Oh, and I guess
the magic hammer

isn't really magic, either!

Well, if you believe it is--

No, that was a lie, too.

I thought you were
a truth-teller like me,

but now I can see you're
just a teller of lies!

Whoa-oh! Ohh!

Andromeda!

Whoa! Ohh!

I'm sorry. I just--
I don't know.

I just wanted
to be friends with you.

What? Really?

Yeah!

Aw, this is really sweet
and everything,

but let's get off this roof
before we all die!

Oh!

So, uh, we're--
we're cool, right?

Do you wanna maybe
hang out tomorrow?

Uh, I got
a lot of conspiracies
to catch up on.

I gotta go.

[sighs] Ohh!

Oh, Tilly, Tilly, Tilly.

Let's go. I'm freezin'.

-I'm chasin' ya!
I'm chasin' ya!
-[Remy laughing]

Okay, you chase me!
Remy, chase me!

I almost had
a best friend once,

but I had to go
and chase her away

with my tall tales
and deceits. [blows]

-[knock on door]
-Hmm?

Hello?

What's this?

"Tilly, sorry I had
to ditch you last night.

[Andromeda]
Too many witnesses!

Meet me at the park--
got a new lead.

Officer Keys is an alien?

Think about it.

Your friend, Andromeda.

P.S. Destroy this letter."

Green Family Farms
is officially open for business!

I can't believe
we're selling our goods

at a real-life
farmers' market.

Green Farms was
a trusted name back home.

It's a big day
for your old man, Tilly,

a big day
for all of us.

That's why I brought
some extra help
to work the stand.

His name is Saxon.

He has
a keen business acumen

and is well respected
within his community.

"I have a master's degree!"

Well, hi, Saxon.

You can be in charge
of baggin' everything up!

Don't patronize him.

-Dad! Dad.
-Aah!

I saw this guy eating
a cinnamon dough stick.

I think it was
called a "churro."

-Can I get one?
-Sorry, son.

We're here to make money,
not spend it.

Tell you what, maybe if we
sell all these veggies,

then you can have
some "churrios."

Well then, what are we doing
sitting around lollygagging?

[grunts]
Come one, come all!

We got the best produce
in the farmers' market!

Hey, you! You look
a little on the short side.

One of our special squashes
will make you taller!

Aw, come on, man!

With one taste
of our cabbage,

you could be cured
of any illness!

And you, behold!

The apple of enlightenment.

When eaten, it grants
the user psychic powers!

Psychic powers?
I'll take ten!

What the--?

[chuckles] Sorry.
Boy is exaggerating.

All we can offer
is a darn good apple.

I just wanted
to be psychic.

Way to go, Dad!
That rube was gonna buy it.

Cricket, for the last time,
they're not rubes!

They're customers!

How do you expect
to sell products

without... pizazz?

In my opinion,
the world could do with
a little less "pizazz."

[snaps] Hey, buddy.
Guy. Buddy.

Hey, are
these crops organic?

If you're asking if my crops

are grown the way
nature intended, then yes!

Ha-ha! Yeah!
The simple farmer bit!

That is great!

You even dressed your kids
in rags to complete
the picture.

I can't see nothin'!

Chip Whistler.
I'm the manager

of the local
Wholesome Foods grocery store,

and I am uh...

Ahem. Well, we had a problem
with our organic shipment

and need an alternate supply
for the week.

-There is big money in it!
-Ooh!

Chumps'll pay twice as much
for organic whatever.

Am I right?

Yeah. I also like good food.

And we've got
plenty of it, Chip.

Hi. Cricket Green,
vegetable specialist.

Very cool.
So, we need 20 bushels
of assorted produce.

Are you my guy?

Wow! Oh, I'm sorry
to tell you this, Chip,

but I don't have enough
to fill the order.

I'm gonna have
to respectfully decline.

Whaaaat?

Your loss, Trucker Hat.
Have a nice life.

-Wait, come back!
-He's gone.

Dad, why'd you pass
on that deal?

I thought we were here
to make some money.

We are,
but a good businessman

never promises more
than what he can deliver.

There's just no way
we could've filled that order.

Or is there?

A way.

To fill that order.

-What'd you say?
-[chuckles] Nothing.

[sniffing]

Nah!

Uh, sir?

Aah! No handouts today,
street urchin!

Oh, wait, you're
that farmer's kid!

[chuckles] Yeah.

When my dad said
we couldn't make the order,

see, he was just driving
one of them hard bargains.

Of course we can come up
with enough produce.

What kind of farmers
would we be
if we couldn't?

Bad ones? I don't know.
I don't know anything
about farming.

But you have got a deal,
little guy!

Here's the order list.
Give this to your old man.

I'll be back
in an hour with a truck
to pick everything up.

Bye-bye!

Pleasure doing
business with ya!

Papa ain't
gonna like this.

[startles] Tilly!

He didn't want
to do the deal.

Don't make me
a whistleblower.

Dad doesn't know
what he's doing.

He said he wants
to sell his produce
and make some money,

and that's exactly
what we're gonna do for him.

I'm trying to put
Green Family Farms on the map.

Hmm. I'd like to consult Saxon,
my financial advisor.

"Makes dollars
and cents to me!"

All right,
we're on board.

But how do you plan
on filling the order?

Tilly, a great businessman
always says yes and figures out
the rest later!

Well, Dad wasn't lying.

We really do only have enough
to fill half the order.

What are we
gonna do now, Cricket?

Hmm...

Now we get... creative.

Well, Tilly, we did it.

Let's go fill that order!

Hmm? Hee-hee!

Ugh.

[sighs] Poor guy.

Tilly, I need you to go get
Dad away from the stand.

Hi, Papa!

Will you come see
the balloon man with me?

You're a big girl, honey.
I think you can manage.

I suppose so.

I am getting older
and more independent.

Who knows
how much more quality time
we have left together.

I suppose five minutes
can't hurt none.

Looking good!

-Ooh, except for that.
-Hey! There he is.

Huh? Oh, Chip!
My man!

Whoo! Green Family Farms
is not messin' around!

That's right,
and it's all above board,
100% delicious.

Not a single tennis ball
in the bunch.

Tennis ball
in the bunch, ha!

I love your folksy
country sayings.

Well, a deal's a deal.

Here's a little scratch
for your batch.

Oh, it was a pleasure
doing business with you, sir.

Don't go spending that
all in one place, now,

unless it's
at Wholesome Foods.

Then spend away, baby!

Balloon man!
Balloon man!

That's nice, but Saxon
wanted a snake.

[no audible dialogue]

Oh, my gosh, it's perfect.

Oh, boy, um,
I'm a little short.

Would you accept
an apple?

My word! This is the best thing
I have ever tasted!

Hey, everyone,
that man's apple is so good

it made the balloon mime
break his ten-year vow
of silence!

[exclaiming]

Take us
to your stand!

Oh, of course!

All right,
everybody, dig in!

[wind whooshes]

Empty? Why is it empty?

We sold out
of everything, Dad!

[grumbling]

Dad, look at this fat wad
of cash I made!

Green Family Farms
is a success!

You're welcome.

Cricket, there's no way
we could've sold out
in five minutes.

What did you do?!

Turns out we just needed

to broaden our definition
of "acceptable quality."

We made fake food!

I painted tennis balls
to look like to peaches.

-And chair legs as carrots.
-Oh! Ah!

Newspaper as lettuce!

Oh, yeah,
that was great.

Kids! What do you think
will happen when people
eat your fake food?

Uh, gee, Dad,
I don't know.

You really think
ten steps ahead.

At most
that's like two!

I need you to think
about this.

Folks are gonna eat
that fake food,

and they're gonna be mad.

The reputation of Green Family
Farms will be ruined!

We'll never be able to sell
produce in the city again!

And then who knows
what'll happen!

No!

I can fix this.
I can fix this!

Follow me.

Careful. Let's not draw
any attention to ourselves.

Uh-oh, look over there,
everybody!

It's the Greens!

Yes, they're responsible
for all the fruit

and vegetables
in the store today!

Let's give 'em a hand.

-[cheering]
-Cool, the farmers
that made the fruit!

Let's hear it
for the humble farmer himself!

I'll leave these rubes
to you, buddy.

-Uhh...
-[microphone feedback]

Dad, you gotta
distract the crowd.

Give 'em a little pizazz
while Tilly and I
go get the fake fruit.

[coughs]

Oh, boy.

Now, who wants to learn
about apples?!

[panting]

Come on, come on,
where are you?

Gotcha!

[gasping]

Found one!

[gasping, grunting]

-[gasps]
-Am I me?

Real. Real. Fake.

[grunts] Okay.
I think that's everything.

Huh? There's
still one left!

♪ Do do-do do-do ♪
Huh?

Stop right there!

-I don't want any trouble!
-Thank you!

And don't get me started
on the fertilizer!

Come on, Dad,
let's go!

Oh, thank goodness.
Coming!

[all groaning]

We're home free!

[register beeping]

-[startles]
-Here's your total.

Aw...

Yikes, the markup here
is incredible.

I'll never forget you,
wad of cash.

[kisses]

Whew, that was close.

Dad, I'm sorry I risked
our reputation to make
a quick buck.

I tried to take a shortcut,
but I ended up getting lost.

Aw, don't beat
yourself up, Cricket.

The family'll bounce back.

And, actually, I admire
your razzle-dazzle salesmanship,

as long as it's honest.

I wish I had
some myself.

Maybe with Cricket's showmanship
and Papa's honesty combined,

you make one perfect salesman!

Heh, maybe
you're right, Tilly.

Too bad we can't sell
this fake produce.

Or could we?

Sell the fake produce.

Fake produce!
Get your fake produce here!

Wanna make the impression
that ya eat heathy

but you don't wanna
follow through?

Then buy our fake fruits
and veggies!

They're the best!

-We hope!
-Eh?

Okay, okay,
they're the best.

The possibilities
are endless!

I'll take two, please.

Hey, I'll buy some.
So creative.

-[laughing]
-[Chip] There you guys are!

Whoa, look at this.
Your stuff is flying

off the shelves
back at the store,

and I gotta taste
what all the fuss is about!

No, don't eat that!
It's fake!

Oh, you humble farmers!

Learn to take a compliment!

[shatters]

[groans]

[screams]

Holy moley!

I cannot believe this, okay?

Look what your awful food
did to my perfect face, okay?

I'm gonna get you
for this, Greens,

or my name
isn't Chip "Whiffler"!

Chip! Now his name
fits his mouth!

[laughing]

[Cricket] Yeah,
Saxon's pretty funny.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet
and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
at seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪