Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 6, Episode 14 - Santa Comes to Visit and Stays and Stays - full transcript
It's days before Christmas. With much to do around the house, Samantha calls in Esmeralda for babysitting duties, which doesn't sit well with Darrin when he finds out. As usual, Esmeralda's sneezes accidentally conjure up various unwanted items, most which magically fade away as quickly as they appear. However, one sneeze conjures up an especially problematic item: Santa Claus. And Santa doesn't seem to fade away like Esmeralda's other items. Santa's stay causes problems for Samantha and Darrin, as they have to hide or explain Santa to people who come by the house, namely nosy Gladys Kravitz, and Larry, the latter who is not in a festive mood as he is continually being nagged by Louise for a mink stole for Christmas, he who seems reluctant to get it for her. But Santa's stay is also a problem for Santa as he has much work to attend to in preparation for his big Christmas Eve ride. So if Santa won't go to the North Pole, Samantha decides to zap the North Pole to Morning Glory Circle, which causes further complications in hiding Santa from Gladys and Larry.
It's gonna be such fun.
I want you to look over there
and see the pretty tree.
See the pretty tree
with all the lights and everything?
There are some presents down there, too.
That's gonna be fun.
Oh, my goodness me.
Catch you under the mistletoe.
Yes. Oh, my goodness, aren't they pretty?
Red and yellow and green and blue
and all sorts of colours.
Well, come on and tell me about it.
Yeah. All the pretty Christmas lights.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Mommy! Mommy!
But they do grow up, don't they?
I'm never going to play with Sidney again.
He's mean and terrible.
Oh, my. Now, what has Sidney done
that is so terrible?
He said there was no Santa Claus.
Even after I told him we know Santa
and you've been to his house
at the North Pole,
he still didn't believe me.
Tabitha, now, don't you remember what
I've told you about our little secrets?
If you tell them to someone else,
they won't be secrets any more.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
But that terrible old Sidney
just made me mad.
Sweetheart, everyone is entitled
to believe in what they want.
Now, if they don't want to believe,
that's all right, too.
Now, when it comes to Santa Claus,
most mortals don't believe he exists
just like they don't believe in witches.
Now do you understand?
Which reminds me.
I am gonna get Esmeralda
to come and help out for a few days.
- Goody!
- Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
- Hello, Samantha. Is...
- No. No, he's not home from work yet.
Oh, good.
Esmeralda,
I'm a little behind in my shopping.
- Would you mind staying a couple of days?
- Always a pleasure.
- Hello, my little princess.
- Hello, Esmeralda.
- And how is my handsome little warlock?
- Just about to have his lunch.
And, incidentally, there's a 50-50 chance
he might be mortal, you know.
Oh, there is? Poor thing.
It would be such a... Such a...
- Esmeralda, don't!
- Such a...
What did you get this time?
Do you think the baby would like
a bottle of goat's milk?
Terrific.
When Darrin gets home,
try and stay out of drafts.
Oh, you didn't tell me he was coming home.
Well, that's what he usually does
when he gets through work.
Oh, my.
Esmeralda, why don't you take Tabitha
upstairs and get started with her bath?
All right. Come along, dearie.
See?
That is a goat.
See? That was a goat.
Well, Esmeralda's witchcraft
may not be very good but it doesn't last.
How about that? How about that?
Do you think that was funny?
Did you think that was funny?
I thought that was funny.
Larry's giving you
a mink stole for Christmas?
Oh, Louise, that's wonderful.
He's such a dear.
He's not a dear? Why is he furious?
Well, maybe you should have consulted him
before you bought it.
- Sam!
- Oh, dear.
I gotta go. Yes, Louise.
I'll tell Darrin to talk to Larry.
Maybe he can convince him that a mink coat
and a mink stole are two different things.
Bye, Louise.
Esmeralda, haven't you learned yet
that Mr Stephens really likes you?
Well, he doesn't show it.
Well, how can he show it when you pop out
every time you hear his voice?
That's better.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.
- How about a nice double martini?
- What's wrong?
Sam, I thought you were gonna warn me
when Esmeralda was here.
I thought offering you a double martini
would be enough of a warning.
I wonder what she's sneezed up this time.
I'm afraid to think.
Oh, now, sweetheart,
try and control your temper.
Remember, "peace on earth,
good will toward men" includes witches.
Isn't that cute? Christmas seals.
Can I keep them, Daddy?
Well, they won't last, sweetheart.
None of her spells ever do. Mostly.
See? There was nothing for you
to get uptight about.
Sam, I'll take that martini now
and you can leave out the vermouth.
I'm glad you're staying,
'cause I want you to be here
when Santa Claus comes tomorrow night.
Oh, yes. I haven't seen Santa Claus
in a good number of years.
As a matter of fact,
I can't remember when I...
Is there anything else
I can do for you, sweetheart?
Yeah. Start making another one.
Better make a whole pitcherful.
Sweetheart, why don't you finish your drink,
and I'll go and check in the kitchen.
I'd rather see this when I'm sober.
Samantha, is that the real...
Samantha, my dear girl, how are you?
That's who it is all right.
Oh, just fine, Santa.
- How's Mrs Claus?
- Fine.
She's gonna be a little surprised
when she wakes up from her nap.
I don't usually go on trips
during my busy season.
Well, my dear girl,
I'm afraid I shall have to be getting back.
Do you want to tell him, or should I?
Actually, I think you're going to
find this very amusing.
You see, when Esmeralda materialises
someone, it's usually by accident.
Frequently.
But then in a little while they just fade
away and go back where they came from.
Well, that is amusing.
In a little while, eh?
The longest it's ever taken
is a couple of days.
What? Do you tell me
I could be stuck here all that time?
- Impossible!
- What happened to "ho, ho, ho"?
Oh, my dear girl, you're a witch.
Do something.
Well, you see, this was Esmeralda's doing
and no one else has any power over it.
Now, if you sit down and relax,
the spell will have a better chance
of wearing off.
We should leave them alone.
Come on, sweetheart.
You mean a watched pot never boils?
I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs
and get ready for dinner,
and Tabitha and I
will give the baby his bath.
I'll get it.
Hi, Mrs Kravitz.
We're a little busy right now, so...
I just wanted to remind you
about the contest.
Contest?
For the best decorated house
in the neighbourhood.
Don't you remember I talked to you about it
a couple of weeks ago?
Oh, yes. I'll talk to Mr Stephens about it.
Oh, there he is now. What's he doing?
Trying on his costume?
- Nothing's happened so far, Samantha...
- May I compliment you?
Anyone who's gone to that much trouble
just to please his children
is certainly to be complimented.
Mrs Kravitz, we were
just about to sit down to dinner, so...
I'm going. You know, that's the
most convincing Santa suit I've ever seen.
- Real ermine? What's that? Foam rubber?
- I beg your pardon!
Mrs Kravitz, you'll have to excuse us.
Wonderful. It's just wonderful.
But how does he do that with his voice?
He runs around in the snow
and catches cold.
Good night, Mrs Kravitz.
Oh, good grief.
Do you realise that I still have thousands
of toys to make before tomorrow night?
My helpers at the Pole
won't know how to proceed without me.
I assure you, Santa.
The spell can't last much longer.
That's what you said a couple of hours ago.
Well, maybe instead of toys, you could
leave each child a gift certificate.
Excuse me.
- It's Larry.
- It's Larry.
I forgot. We're supposed to convince him to
keep the mink Louise bought as a surprise.
- Larry wants a mink?
- No, Louise does.
Just tell him
we're about to sit down to dinner.
Hi, Darrin.
I was just on my way home, and...
Oh, Larry,
we're just about to sit down to dinner.
No, no, no. I couldn't eat a thing,
but I'll take a drink.
I just had to get away
from the mass hysteria
that seizes the entire population
during this so-called season of mirth.
I tell you, I'm sick of it.
Sick of the crass commercialism
that's invaded the Christmas holiday.
Does this have anything
to do with Louise's mink?
So you're one of the thousands of select
people that Louise has complained to.
- What are you drinking?
- Anything.
Triple.
Oh, Samantha, what am I going to do?
There are thousands and thousands
of children depending on me.
Oh, if only I had my workers here
and some tools.
- Would that help?
- Well, of course.
I might be able to manage that.
Really? Oh, that would be splendid!
There's something
I have to take care of first.
- Aren't you and Louise on speaking terms?
- She is.
I'm on listening terms.
Larry, don't you think that Louise
is gonna be worried about where you are?
All Louise cares about
is what she can get out of me.
- I happen to know she also cares about you.
- Yeah. She likes me for what I am, rich.
But you're right. I ought to go home
so she'll have someone to interrupt.
I'll walk you to your car.
Okay, let's give it a whirl.
Stars, sun, wind and tide
in the heavens where you abide.
Before your powers we do bow.
Bring Santa's helpers here and now.
That was beautiful.
- Where have you been?
- We've been looking all over for you!
Oh, Darrin, there's something I have to...
Sweetheart, I had to do it
because Santa would have lost
a lot of valuable time
and thousands of children
would have been disappointed.
Now, the only reason
I didn't discuss it with you first
was I knew you'd forbid me to do it
and I'd have to disobey you,
and you know I'd never do that.
Now how about some dinner?
Samantha, for your sake, for Santa's sake
and for the sake of my sanity,
I'm going to bed.
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.
That's all right.
I was having a terrible nightmare anyway.
I wonder how Santa and his elves are doing.
Now that you mention it,
that nightmare wasn't so terrible.
I'll go and check.
I'm kind of curious anyway.
I don't see how they can turn out
that many toys in so short a time.
Abner! Abner, wake up! They've got elves!
Elves in the living room making toys!
And elves! And Santa Claus!
And they're all running around
like jumping jacks!
Gladys, you'd better loosen your rollers.
Your hair is too tight.
The coast is clear.
I got Darrin to go to the store for me.
Now what?
Well, I have been giving this
a lot of thought.
Now, Esmeralda's mistakes
usually fade long before this
so we'll just have to face the possibility
that you're not going to.
Are you telling me the whole night's work
has been for naught?
Oh, no. I have an alternate plan.
If I can materialise your sleigh and reindeer,
you'll have your own wheels, so to speak.
That's all I need.
I think it's a disgrace
the way they just refuse
to make an effort to beautify
the neighbourhood for Christmas.
If you cared about beautifying
the neighbourhood, you'd move.
Abner, that's not a very funny joke.
So what? You didn't pay anything to
hear it. I'm going to get the paper.
Come, Dasher! Come, Dancer!
Come, Prancer and Vixen!
Come, Comet! Come, Cupid!
Come, Donner and Blitzen!
To the lawn of the house
where Santa is stuck.
Be sure if you fly, the antennas you duck.
What are you complaining about?
I think the Stephenses did a terrific job
with their Christmas decorations.
What?
- But why on the lawn?
- Because there wasn't room out back.
And when Mrs Kravitz sees it,
we're gonna win first prize
for the best decorated house
in the neighbourhood.
But it wasn't there a minute ago.
Gladys, let's play house.
You be the door and I'll shut you.
Can they at least hold the loading
until it gets completely dark?
Impossible.
I have to make a stop at the North Pole
and encircle the globe
between now and morning.
There's nobody out there now.
You ready?
One, two, three, go!
- Abner! Where are you?
- In the cellar. What do you want?
Come here! You won't believe this!
If I won't believe it,
do you mind if I save myself a climb?
Goodbye, Santa. And I'm terribly
sorry for the inconvenience.
Oh, that's all right, my dear.
It'll make an interesting chapter
when I write my memoirs.
Although, quite frankly,
I don't think anyone would believe it.
All right! Hold tight!
- A merry Christmas to all!
- Cool it, Santa.
You've got to be kidding!
We're having a contest
in the neighbourhood.
Well, you're sure out to win
it, aren't you?
I've seen people go hog-wild
with Christmas decorations,
but this is ridiculous.
Darrin, why don't you take Larry in
and give him a brandy eggnog?
No, thanks. I've already had a couple.
Louise had me up all night
yapping about that mink stole.
- I'll make one for you without the eggnog.
- Now you're talking.
Santa, if we didn't have you,
we'd have to make you up.
Goodbye, Santa!
- That was a good eggnog.
- Have another.
- Mommy! Daddy!
- Yes, sweetheart?
Santa's leaving.
Don't you want to say goodbye?
What's that?
Oh, you mean that thing in the sky.
We've been seeing a lot of that lately.
They say it's a new rocket
the Air Force is testing.
Or maybe...
Maybe it's Santa and his reindeer.
Yeah. Our new secret weapon.
Santa and his...
Hey, your Christmas display. It's gone.
Oh, yeah. Well, you see,
they get time-and-a-half for night work,
so I let them go.
Well, that thing that was flying
through the sky sure looked like...
- Like...
- Yes, Larry?
Couldn't be.
But for a minute, you really thought
it was Santa Claus, didn't you?
Well, for a minute, maybe, but...
I think I'd better run along.
I've still got to pick up Louise's present.
Just what are you getting her?
- Oh, it's a little sort of a...
- Yes?
Well, you know,
it kind of goes around her shoulders and...
Well, I've forgotten what they call it.
- But it's made of fur?
- And it's very expensive?
Yeah. I...
I told you it wasn't the money.
I just wanted it to be a surprise.
- Sure.
- Merry Christmas, Larry.
Well, a merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
Gee, that does sound better than "humbug."
Oh, my.
Well, Christmas comes but once a year.
Sweetheart, do you realise
that you are the only mortal
who can say
he has actually met Santa Claus?
Yeah. That's true.
Who can I say it to?
- No, it isn't. It's Clementine.
- We're gonna call her Cindy.
Oh, well, okay.
Sweetheart, you know, you've had a big day
and I think it's time you went up
and got ready for bed.
- Can I play a few more minutes?
- Oh, well, all right, a few more minutes.
- Do you want to hear something wild?
- What is it?
Listen,
"Thousands report celestial phenomenon.
"Police and army switchboards
were jammed yesterday
"by callers reporting
an unusual sight in the heavens.
"Most callers identified
the object as a UFO
"but some insisted that they had
actually seen Santa Claus and his reindeer
"riding across the sky."
How do you like that?
Well, as I have always said,
mortals are the funniest people
and the nicest.
Thank you for making this
such a lovely Christmas.
Oh, I forgot to ask you.
Can Sidney come over and play tomorrow?
You're friends again?
He finally admitted there's a Santa Claus.
How come?
Well, he kept saying, "There's no Santa!
There's no Santa! There's no Santa!"
So I turned him into a mushroom
and he finally admitted he was wrong.
- Tabitha, how many times have you...
- Now, Darrin, it's Christmas.
Okay.
But tomorrow, young lady,
you and I are going to have
a serious witch-to-witch talk.
From all of us to all of you,
a very merry Christmas.
I want you to look over there
and see the pretty tree.
See the pretty tree
with all the lights and everything?
There are some presents down there, too.
That's gonna be fun.
Oh, my goodness me.
Catch you under the mistletoe.
Yes. Oh, my goodness, aren't they pretty?
Red and yellow and green and blue
and all sorts of colours.
Well, come on and tell me about it.
Yeah. All the pretty Christmas lights.
Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Mommy! Mommy!
But they do grow up, don't they?
I'm never going to play with Sidney again.
He's mean and terrible.
Oh, my. Now, what has Sidney done
that is so terrible?
He said there was no Santa Claus.
Even after I told him we know Santa
and you've been to his house
at the North Pole,
he still didn't believe me.
Tabitha, now, don't you remember what
I've told you about our little secrets?
If you tell them to someone else,
they won't be secrets any more.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
But that terrible old Sidney
just made me mad.
Sweetheart, everyone is entitled
to believe in what they want.
Now, if they don't want to believe,
that's all right, too.
Now, when it comes to Santa Claus,
most mortals don't believe he exists
just like they don't believe in witches.
Now do you understand?
Which reminds me.
I am gonna get Esmeralda
to come and help out for a few days.
- Goody!
- Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
- Hello, Samantha. Is...
- No. No, he's not home from work yet.
Oh, good.
Esmeralda,
I'm a little behind in my shopping.
- Would you mind staying a couple of days?
- Always a pleasure.
- Hello, my little princess.
- Hello, Esmeralda.
- And how is my handsome little warlock?
- Just about to have his lunch.
And, incidentally, there's a 50-50 chance
he might be mortal, you know.
Oh, there is? Poor thing.
It would be such a... Such a...
- Esmeralda, don't!
- Such a...
What did you get this time?
Do you think the baby would like
a bottle of goat's milk?
Terrific.
When Darrin gets home,
try and stay out of drafts.
Oh, you didn't tell me he was coming home.
Well, that's what he usually does
when he gets through work.
Oh, my.
Esmeralda, why don't you take Tabitha
upstairs and get started with her bath?
All right. Come along, dearie.
See?
That is a goat.
See? That was a goat.
Well, Esmeralda's witchcraft
may not be very good but it doesn't last.
How about that? How about that?
Do you think that was funny?
Did you think that was funny?
I thought that was funny.
Larry's giving you
a mink stole for Christmas?
Oh, Louise, that's wonderful.
He's such a dear.
He's not a dear? Why is he furious?
Well, maybe you should have consulted him
before you bought it.
- Sam!
- Oh, dear.
I gotta go. Yes, Louise.
I'll tell Darrin to talk to Larry.
Maybe he can convince him that a mink coat
and a mink stole are two different things.
Bye, Louise.
Esmeralda, haven't you learned yet
that Mr Stephens really likes you?
Well, he doesn't show it.
Well, how can he show it when you pop out
every time you hear his voice?
That's better.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.
- How about a nice double martini?
- What's wrong?
Sam, I thought you were gonna warn me
when Esmeralda was here.
I thought offering you a double martini
would be enough of a warning.
I wonder what she's sneezed up this time.
I'm afraid to think.
Oh, now, sweetheart,
try and control your temper.
Remember, "peace on earth,
good will toward men" includes witches.
Isn't that cute? Christmas seals.
Can I keep them, Daddy?
Well, they won't last, sweetheart.
None of her spells ever do. Mostly.
See? There was nothing for you
to get uptight about.
Sam, I'll take that martini now
and you can leave out the vermouth.
I'm glad you're staying,
'cause I want you to be here
when Santa Claus comes tomorrow night.
Oh, yes. I haven't seen Santa Claus
in a good number of years.
As a matter of fact,
I can't remember when I...
Is there anything else
I can do for you, sweetheart?
Yeah. Start making another one.
Better make a whole pitcherful.
Sweetheart, why don't you finish your drink,
and I'll go and check in the kitchen.
I'd rather see this when I'm sober.
Samantha, is that the real...
Samantha, my dear girl, how are you?
That's who it is all right.
Oh, just fine, Santa.
- How's Mrs Claus?
- Fine.
She's gonna be a little surprised
when she wakes up from her nap.
I don't usually go on trips
during my busy season.
Well, my dear girl,
I'm afraid I shall have to be getting back.
Do you want to tell him, or should I?
Actually, I think you're going to
find this very amusing.
You see, when Esmeralda materialises
someone, it's usually by accident.
Frequently.
But then in a little while they just fade
away and go back where they came from.
Well, that is amusing.
In a little while, eh?
The longest it's ever taken
is a couple of days.
What? Do you tell me
I could be stuck here all that time?
- Impossible!
- What happened to "ho, ho, ho"?
Oh, my dear girl, you're a witch.
Do something.
Well, you see, this was Esmeralda's doing
and no one else has any power over it.
Now, if you sit down and relax,
the spell will have a better chance
of wearing off.
We should leave them alone.
Come on, sweetheart.
You mean a watched pot never boils?
I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs
and get ready for dinner,
and Tabitha and I
will give the baby his bath.
I'll get it.
Hi, Mrs Kravitz.
We're a little busy right now, so...
I just wanted to remind you
about the contest.
Contest?
For the best decorated house
in the neighbourhood.
Don't you remember I talked to you about it
a couple of weeks ago?
Oh, yes. I'll talk to Mr Stephens about it.
Oh, there he is now. What's he doing?
Trying on his costume?
- Nothing's happened so far, Samantha...
- May I compliment you?
Anyone who's gone to that much trouble
just to please his children
is certainly to be complimented.
Mrs Kravitz, we were
just about to sit down to dinner, so...
I'm going. You know, that's the
most convincing Santa suit I've ever seen.
- Real ermine? What's that? Foam rubber?
- I beg your pardon!
Mrs Kravitz, you'll have to excuse us.
Wonderful. It's just wonderful.
But how does he do that with his voice?
He runs around in the snow
and catches cold.
Good night, Mrs Kravitz.
Oh, good grief.
Do you realise that I still have thousands
of toys to make before tomorrow night?
My helpers at the Pole
won't know how to proceed without me.
I assure you, Santa.
The spell can't last much longer.
That's what you said a couple of hours ago.
Well, maybe instead of toys, you could
leave each child a gift certificate.
Excuse me.
- It's Larry.
- It's Larry.
I forgot. We're supposed to convince him to
keep the mink Louise bought as a surprise.
- Larry wants a mink?
- No, Louise does.
Just tell him
we're about to sit down to dinner.
Hi, Darrin.
I was just on my way home, and...
Oh, Larry,
we're just about to sit down to dinner.
No, no, no. I couldn't eat a thing,
but I'll take a drink.
I just had to get away
from the mass hysteria
that seizes the entire population
during this so-called season of mirth.
I tell you, I'm sick of it.
Sick of the crass commercialism
that's invaded the Christmas holiday.
Does this have anything
to do with Louise's mink?
So you're one of the thousands of select
people that Louise has complained to.
- What are you drinking?
- Anything.
Triple.
Oh, Samantha, what am I going to do?
There are thousands and thousands
of children depending on me.
Oh, if only I had my workers here
and some tools.
- Would that help?
- Well, of course.
I might be able to manage that.
Really? Oh, that would be splendid!
There's something
I have to take care of first.
- Aren't you and Louise on speaking terms?
- She is.
I'm on listening terms.
Larry, don't you think that Louise
is gonna be worried about where you are?
All Louise cares about
is what she can get out of me.
- I happen to know she also cares about you.
- Yeah. She likes me for what I am, rich.
But you're right. I ought to go home
so she'll have someone to interrupt.
I'll walk you to your car.
Okay, let's give it a whirl.
Stars, sun, wind and tide
in the heavens where you abide.
Before your powers we do bow.
Bring Santa's helpers here and now.
That was beautiful.
- Where have you been?
- We've been looking all over for you!
Oh, Darrin, there's something I have to...
Sweetheart, I had to do it
because Santa would have lost
a lot of valuable time
and thousands of children
would have been disappointed.
Now, the only reason
I didn't discuss it with you first
was I knew you'd forbid me to do it
and I'd have to disobey you,
and you know I'd never do that.
Now how about some dinner?
Samantha, for your sake, for Santa's sake
and for the sake of my sanity,
I'm going to bed.
Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.
That's all right.
I was having a terrible nightmare anyway.
I wonder how Santa and his elves are doing.
Now that you mention it,
that nightmare wasn't so terrible.
I'll go and check.
I'm kind of curious anyway.
I don't see how they can turn out
that many toys in so short a time.
Abner! Abner, wake up! They've got elves!
Elves in the living room making toys!
And elves! And Santa Claus!
And they're all running around
like jumping jacks!
Gladys, you'd better loosen your rollers.
Your hair is too tight.
The coast is clear.
I got Darrin to go to the store for me.
Now what?
Well, I have been giving this
a lot of thought.
Now, Esmeralda's mistakes
usually fade long before this
so we'll just have to face the possibility
that you're not going to.
Are you telling me the whole night's work
has been for naught?
Oh, no. I have an alternate plan.
If I can materialise your sleigh and reindeer,
you'll have your own wheels, so to speak.
That's all I need.
I think it's a disgrace
the way they just refuse
to make an effort to beautify
the neighbourhood for Christmas.
If you cared about beautifying
the neighbourhood, you'd move.
Abner, that's not a very funny joke.
So what? You didn't pay anything to
hear it. I'm going to get the paper.
Come, Dasher! Come, Dancer!
Come, Prancer and Vixen!
Come, Comet! Come, Cupid!
Come, Donner and Blitzen!
To the lawn of the house
where Santa is stuck.
Be sure if you fly, the antennas you duck.
What are you complaining about?
I think the Stephenses did a terrific job
with their Christmas decorations.
What?
- But why on the lawn?
- Because there wasn't room out back.
And when Mrs Kravitz sees it,
we're gonna win first prize
for the best decorated house
in the neighbourhood.
But it wasn't there a minute ago.
Gladys, let's play house.
You be the door and I'll shut you.
Can they at least hold the loading
until it gets completely dark?
Impossible.
I have to make a stop at the North Pole
and encircle the globe
between now and morning.
There's nobody out there now.
You ready?
One, two, three, go!
- Abner! Where are you?
- In the cellar. What do you want?
Come here! You won't believe this!
If I won't believe it,
do you mind if I save myself a climb?
Goodbye, Santa. And I'm terribly
sorry for the inconvenience.
Oh, that's all right, my dear.
It'll make an interesting chapter
when I write my memoirs.
Although, quite frankly,
I don't think anyone would believe it.
All right! Hold tight!
- A merry Christmas to all!
- Cool it, Santa.
You've got to be kidding!
We're having a contest
in the neighbourhood.
Well, you're sure out to win
it, aren't you?
I've seen people go hog-wild
with Christmas decorations,
but this is ridiculous.
Darrin, why don't you take Larry in
and give him a brandy eggnog?
No, thanks. I've already had a couple.
Louise had me up all night
yapping about that mink stole.
- I'll make one for you without the eggnog.
- Now you're talking.
Santa, if we didn't have you,
we'd have to make you up.
Goodbye, Santa!
- That was a good eggnog.
- Have another.
- Mommy! Daddy!
- Yes, sweetheart?
Santa's leaving.
Don't you want to say goodbye?
What's that?
Oh, you mean that thing in the sky.
We've been seeing a lot of that lately.
They say it's a new rocket
the Air Force is testing.
Or maybe...
Maybe it's Santa and his reindeer.
Yeah. Our new secret weapon.
Santa and his...
Hey, your Christmas display. It's gone.
Oh, yeah. Well, you see,
they get time-and-a-half for night work,
so I let them go.
Well, that thing that was flying
through the sky sure looked like...
- Like...
- Yes, Larry?
Couldn't be.
But for a minute, you really thought
it was Santa Claus, didn't you?
Well, for a minute, maybe, but...
I think I'd better run along.
I've still got to pick up Louise's present.
Just what are you getting her?
- Oh, it's a little sort of a...
- Yes?
Well, you know,
it kind of goes around her shoulders and...
Well, I've forgotten what they call it.
- But it's made of fur?
- And it's very expensive?
Yeah. I...
I told you it wasn't the money.
I just wanted it to be a surprise.
- Sure.
- Merry Christmas, Larry.
Well, a merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
Gee, that does sound better than "humbug."
Oh, my.
Well, Christmas comes but once a year.
Sweetheart, do you realise
that you are the only mortal
who can say
he has actually met Santa Claus?
Yeah. That's true.
Who can I say it to?
- No, it isn't. It's Clementine.
- We're gonna call her Cindy.
Oh, well, okay.
Sweetheart, you know, you've had a big day
and I think it's time you went up
and got ready for bed.
- Can I play a few more minutes?
- Oh, well, all right, a few more minutes.
- Do you want to hear something wild?
- What is it?
Listen,
"Thousands report celestial phenomenon.
"Police and army switchboards
were jammed yesterday
"by callers reporting
an unusual sight in the heavens.
"Most callers identified
the object as a UFO
"but some insisted that they had
actually seen Santa Claus and his reindeer
"riding across the sky."
How do you like that?
Well, as I have always said,
mortals are the funniest people
and the nicest.
Thank you for making this
such a lovely Christmas.
Oh, I forgot to ask you.
Can Sidney come over and play tomorrow?
You're friends again?
He finally admitted there's a Santa Claus.
How come?
Well, he kept saying, "There's no Santa!
There's no Santa! There's no Santa!"
So I turned him into a mushroom
and he finally admitted he was wrong.
- Tabitha, how many times have you...
- Now, Darrin, it's Christmas.
Okay.
But tomorrow, young lady,
you and I are going to have
a serious witch-to-witch talk.
From all of us to all of you,
a very merry Christmas.