Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 5, Episode 17 - One Touch of Midas - full transcript
Samantha sewing a dress for Tabitha from scratch, and Darrin giving Samantha a small trinket of a gift for the sixth anniversary of their first date make Endora lament all the luxuries that Samantha has given up in her life by marrying Darrin. Using an operative calling himself Professor MacAllister, Endora sets in motion a get rich quick scheme for Darrin - through the marketing and sale of a Kewpie-like doll called "the fuzz" which has a spell on it to make mortals feel good in order to buy it - so that Darrin can indeed give Samantha all those luxuries. It not only sweeps Darrin into an "I'm rich" frenzy, but also others, such as his secretary, Betty Wilson, and Larry. Samantha doesn't really like what it has done to Darrin, although she does appreciate his sentiments in wanting to provide for her and Tabitha. Samantha is certain that Endora is behind the scheme, as the doll as a means to get rich makes no logical sense. The question becomes what Darrin will do when he learns the truth.
This dress is gonna be
very pretty on you, Tabitha.
- It doesn't look like a dress.
- That's because it isn't finished yet.
Will it be a dress
before Daddy comes home?
No. You see, first you
have to cut it out...
and then you pin it
and put it on to see if it fits.
- Then is it a dress?
- Well, almost.
It takes a long time,
and it's hard work.
- I know how to do it quick.
- No.
Now, Tabitha, you know Daddy
doesn't want us to use witchcraft.
- Silly Mommy.
- Good grief.
- You sound just like Mother.
- Honey, I'm home.
Daddy, guess what Mommy's doing.
She's making a dress all by herself.
- She isn't even going to the store.
- I know, I know.
And it's coming along just fine.
My wife, the dressmaker.
- Sam, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
Tabitha, run along upstairs
and start getting ready for bed, okay?
Okay, Mommy.
- Thought I forgot, didn't you?
- Forgot what?
Happy sixth anniversary
of our first date.
I knew you'd remember.
Darrin, it's lovely.
"Come Back to Sorrento."
Oh, sweetheart, it's beautiful.
And we're going to celebrate
at Sorrento's tonight.
I called Marcello,
and he's holding a table for us.
What a surprise.
And just in case you surprised me...
I asked Mother to sit with Tabitha.
On second thought,
I'll send out for pizzas.
- Sweetheart, don't press your luck.
- I'll start getting ready.
- Something new from the big spender?
- Oh, Mother, must you eavesdrop?
Well, someone has to look after
my daughter's interests.
Look at you,
making Tabitha's clothes.
Samantha, you've been reduced to
a slave in Durwood's sweatshop.
- Mother, please.
- Well, all right.
Obviously, you're just too starry-eyed
to realize what's happening to you.
I have everything I want.
When I think of the luxuries
you've given up...
- Mother.
- What?
You give up.
I'm going upstairs and get ready.
- Miss... Miss Wilson?
- Yes?
I would like to see
Mr. Darrin Stephens, please.
- You have an appointment?
- No, no.
People don't make appointments
with... crackpots.
- You're a crackpot?
- No, no, but people usually think I am.
What'd you want to see
Mr. Stephens about?
Isn't he cute?
I would like to talk to Mr. Stephens...
about helping market
the little fellow.
It's amazing.
He kind of gives you
a feeling of well-being.
Well, you've heard of the Hula-Hoop,
Silly Putty, the drinking bird, Frisbee...
and now the Fuzz.
I've got a hunch this little fella
could catch on.
Oh, believe me, he will.
- Excuse me, Mr...
- Professor.
- Professor Mac Allister.
- Excuse me, professor.
I'll see if Mr. Stephens can squeeze in
a few moments for you.
Yes?
Are you terribly busy, Mr. Stephens?
Yes, but what is it, Miss Wilson?
I know it's my job
to brush off all the oddballs...
but there's a gentleman here
I think you ought to see.
You recommend this oddball?
Mr. Stephens,
do I bother you very often?
Okay, send him in.
Mr. Stephens,
this is Professor Mac Allister.
- How do you do?
- Good of you to see me, Mr. Stephens.
I have created a little doll.
- May I show it to you?
- Of course.
- Isn't it just darling?
- I call it... the Fuzz.
And it... Well, I don't know.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
I modestly think
there's something about this...
that will make everybody want one.
I agree, professor.
What can I do to help?
If you'll supply the creative
merchandising necessary to sell them...
I'll supply the dolls,
and we'll split 50-50.
But why me?
Now, Mr. Stephens, it's no secret
along Madison Avenue...
that you are a very successful
advertising man.
You have connections.
Possibly you could place the doll
in a local department store...
just to see if it catches on.
How much do these dolls
cost to make?
Practically nothing.
That is, if it's sold for a dollar...
we'd each make a quarter
and the store would make a quarter.
If it catches on, that could add up.
Darrin, Henderson is
in my office, and...
Professor Mac Allister,
this is Mr. Tate.
How do you do?
- What's that?
- Oh, that, Mr. Tate...
is a little doll I've created
that'll sweep the country.
I agree the country needs sweeping,
but a doll isn't going to do it.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
He's a cute little character.
Well, Lar...
how do you feel about McMann
and Tate launching the Fuzz?
The professor has offered
a 50-50 deal.
Darrin, I'm too old to play with dolls.
And I have
a $2 million account waiting...
that makes me feel
a lot better than the Fuzz.
Now let's start moving the wagons.
I've got a hunch about
this little fellow.
We handle the advertising
for Hanley's Department Store.
Call Jim Hanley and ask him
to set up a display of the Fuzz...
at their entrance tomorrow.
Give him the details.
Yes, Mr. Stephens.
Could you deliver
50 of these to them?
Oh, I think I'd better deliver 500,
just in case.
That's what I like,
an optimistic partner.
- It's been a pleasure knowing you.
- Thank you.
If you leave your telephone number
with Miss Wilson...
we'll let you know how we do.
Hi, darling.
Hi there, sweetheart.
- Tabitha.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.
- Oh, what's that?
Sam, believe it or not,
I am dabbling in the doll business.
It's cute.
There's something about it...
The funny nose, the long hair.
- That makes people feel good.
- Here, now, hold it and see.
Well, I like it, but...
You don't get any message, huh?
That's funny.
- Everybody at the office wanted one.
- No telling what people might like.
- Here, sweetheart. This is for you.
- Thank you. That's nice, Daddy.
It's one of those things
that people just can't put down.
No man's a prophet
in his own home.
- Yes?
- Pardon, Mr. Tate...
but it's important that I speak
to Mr. Stephens. It's about the doll.
Would you people mind doing
your moonlighting after office hours?
- That's why they call it moonlighting.
- Sorry, Larry.
- What about the dolls, Miss Wilson?
- I'm so excited I could scream.
- So could I.
- Mr. Hanley called a few minutes ago...
and said they're already
out of the dolls.
They sold all 500 by 11:00.
Hey, they really like
that little character.
Big deal.
So you peddled 500 dolls.
The professor's rushing another 2000
over there right now.
- Wow, how about that?
- Yeah, how about that?
And listen to this, Mr. Stephens.
Mr. Hanley wants 200, 000
for their stores all over the country.
How long will it take the professor...
He said in a couple of days he'll have
the dolls. Sooner, if we want them.
Right. Well, carry on, Miss Wilson...
and try not to let Mr. Tate catch you
using the company phone.
Two hundred thousand dolls...
Will you quit fooling around
with those nickels and dimes?
That's $5000.
Five thousand dollars? You must've
made a mistake. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. You've got the decimal
point in the wrong place. That's...
fifty thousand dollars.
Yes, you're right!
It's an oil well, a gold mine.
Fifty thousand dollars.
And you say
you gave Miss Wilson 10 percent?
- That's $5000.
- Yeah.
And nothing for me.
Larry, if you remember, I offered
to split this deal with you.
Let's not cloud the issue with facts.
Let's get busy on this.
This is an advertising office,
not a doll factory.
You wouldn't mind if I went home
a little early today, would you?
I'd like to do a little shopping for Sam
and Tabitha. Tell them the good news.
Darrin, I find that remark
to be in very bad taste.
Sorry.
Turn around this way. Turn around.
I don't think I've got that quite right.
Hi, Sam, Tabitha.
Well, hi, sweetheart.
You're home early.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, darling.
Larry gave me the afternoon off.
For reasons that will become apparent,
he can't look at me...
without breaking into tears.
Now close your eyes and pucker up.
Hey, this is fun.
Solid gold.
Real jewels on both sides.
Well, that's certainly something
I wouldn't buy for myself.
Honey, don't you get it?
If you want something, just whistle.
- Sometimes you baffle me.
- Try it.
Yes, right this way.
A few little presents.
Right this way.
An original Lili Arlege dress...
from Paris,
designed especially for little girls...
- who have rich daddies.
- I like this dress better.
Well, I'm glad
someone feels that way.
Sam, the dress you're making is great
but you don't have to do that anymore.
Darrin, I love doing
that kind of thing.
What's happened?
Sam, those little dolls are a smash.
People are fighting to buy them.
There's something awfully strange
about all this...
if you know what I mean.
An ermine coat,
for strolling in the park.
That's what it is, all right...
an ermine coat,
for strolling in the park.
Didn't you get her
a mink playsuit to go with it?
Sam, you know there's no such thing
as a mink playsuit.
So I got her one in chinchilla.
Mother, I insist that you appear
before me immediately.
Yes, my precious. You called?
- Mother, what've you been up to?
- Isn't it obvious?
I've been spearfishing
with Prince Cellini in the Arctic Sea.
What a soggy bore,
but he does have a fascinating igloo.
You know what I'm talking about.
Did you put a spell
on a dumb little doll?
Oh, my dear child,
are you all right?
Don't evade the issue.
Mother, Darrin's involved
with some little doll...
Oh, my poor darling.
What's her name?
Oh, never mind her name.
Get Tabitha, and let's leave.
Don't bother to pack.
Mother, really. It's a toy doll
that everyone wants to buy.
Darrin's making a fortune...
and it's my guess
that it's your spell.
It's probably one of those affairs
that keep happening to mortals.
Mother.
Are you sure you didn't
put some kind of spell...?
- Witch's honour.
- You're absolutely sure?
Samantha, have I ever lied to you?
Well...?
Fine. Thank you very much.
The professor delivered 5,000 dolls
to the Detroit store.
Good, good.
Would you get that, honey?
What the Fuzz factory needs
is a full-time doorman.
Good idea.
Make a note of that, Miss Wilson.
The professor says
the additional 200,000 dolls...
will be on their way tomorrow.
We have to answer...
the call
from Yakamoto Department Store...
regarding the Tokyo franchise.
One sunken Roman bathtub, lady.
Where do you want it?
I'd hate to tell you.
This is too much. Darrin, that thing
won't fit in our bathroom.
Lady, let's not have
a domestic squabble.
- This thing weighs a ton.
- Darrin.
Oh, the birdbath.
It goes in the backyard.
Watch out for the furniture.
Darrin...
would you take
your Fuzz business to the office?
I promised Larry I wouldn't
work on this there.
I covered the whole house.
Nine rooms, nine colour TV sets.
Just what we need
the Roller Derby in every room.
Oh, Mr. Stephens? I wanna check
tomorrow's appointments with you.
One thirty, Mr. Merrick,
about backing a Broadway musical.
Two o'clock,
Mr. Craft, about the yacht.
And 2:30, Mr. Palmer,
measure you for golf clubs.
And you mustn't forget to call
Truman Capote for his guest list.
I've already done that.
It's on the way.
I'm sorry to barge in, but I wasn't
able to get you on the phone.
Sorry. I wanted to finish the Fuzz
business before I came into the office.
I know it upsets you.
Don't forget the professor
came to McMann and Tate...
not Darrin Stephens, Incorporated.
- Well, I appreciate that, Lar.
- It's Norman Gimbel.
You'll have to tell him
the New York franchise is gone.
Well, I guess I'm just an easygoing,
good-hearted guy...
so here's what I'm going to do.
This is an agreement
giving you 10 percent...
of your accounts, in exchange
for half your interest in the Fuzz...
which, by rights,
should be mine anyway.
That sounds like a fair deal.
Well, congratulations, both of you.
Larry, welcome to the doll business
and thank you for this percentage.
I loved doing it.
- I was gonna give it to you anyway.
- You were?
See you at the office,
you son of a gun.
- Okay.
- So long, Sam.
Stephens, how do you like
the styling?
Oh, that is perfect, Cosmo.
Same time tomorrow.
- Miss Wilson?
- That's probably Miss Dobrin.
Sam, prepare yourself
for a real surprise.
After all that's happened today
nothing could surprise me.
It's the new house!
- New house?
- Not just a house...
the Bedlington estate.
Here it is, Mr. Stephens.
It sits majestically in the centre
of 80 rolling acres.
Swimming pool, tennis courts,
polo fields. It's just got everything.
Not quite everything.
Where are the his and hers heliports?
Good suggestion, Sam. We'll tear out
the formal gardens and put them there.
Darrin, I don't want to move.
You know how I love this house.
Sweetheart, this was a great little place
in its day, but we gotta think big.
Don't worry about selling this place,
Mrs. Stephens.
There's a great demand
for these lower-priced homes.
However...
it's a shame there isn't something
more distinctive about this house.
A sunken living room, for example.
If you'll stand right over here,
I'll see what I can do.
I think I've seen enough, Mr. Stephens.
We'll have a sign up in the morning.
Miss Wilson, would you excuse us
for a minute, please?
Oh, certainly.
I'll get myself a cup of coffee.
Darrin, I must talk to you.
Right now.
- Now...
- Okay, honey. What's the problem?
Well, problem number one is...
I think there's something funny
about that little doll of yours...
and problem number two is you.
In what way am I a problem?
Sweetheart, it's not like you
to go off the deep end.
Well, honey, it's just that I've...
I've always wanted the very best
for you and Tabitha.
When we were married,
you made a big sacrifice for me.
No, you did.
You gave up you-know-what.
I realize I'm probably
overdoing it, but...
this money is my chance to give you
all the things you could've had.
Darrin, all the money in the world
couldn't buy what we already have.
I know that, Sam.
Just let me have the joy
of overdoing it for a little while.
That may be the nicest thing
you've ever said to me, maybe.
And it's only the beginning.
A castle in Spain.
A ch?teau in France
The Onassis island.
I wonder if that's for sale.
Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson,
we have work to do.
Oh, my stars.
Mother, I insist that you appear
before me this minute...
or this house will be
off-limits to you forever.
Really, Samantha.
I try to be attentive...
but you certainly can't blame me
for wanting to finish my slalom.
Mother, you're not
telling me the truth.
Honestly, my darling, I was skiing.
You know what I mean.
It's about Darrin.
Well, I gave you my witch's honour.
I love Darrin, and I can tell
when he's under a spell.
Now, the truth.
Is there a spell on those dolls
and on Darrin?
I wish you'd phrase that question
a little differently.
I knew it. I knew it!
Someone else
did your dirty work, right?
Oh, the burdens of a mother
with an ungrateful child.
- Yeah, yeah, Mother. Get on with it.
- I'll take care of it right away.
Oh, dear.
Honey, I can say one thing for Mother.
She meant well.
I guess I should've realized.
I feel ridiculous,
the way I've been acting.
Well, you acted normally,
under the circumstances.
- Sam, I'm a pauper.
- Well, I wouldn't go quite that far.
But you will be a little busy
the next few days returning gifts.
- Sam, what can I say?
- You don't have to say anything.
- There is a bright side to all this.
- What's that?
I can hardly wait to see
Larry's face...
when he finally finds out
how fast the Fuzz fad flops.
Darrin, where have you been?
It's 2:00.
I had a few diamond bracelets
and things to return.
- You knew it.
- Knew what?
The calls started coming around noon.
Nobody wants the Fuzz anymore.
The stores are returning them.
They don't even make you
feel good anymore.
- You're right.
- The fad's faded. The bubble's burst.
It's as if someone turned them all off
at the same time.
You win some, you lose some.
And you were
returning the diamonds...
because you knew
it was going to happen.
You took advantage of my greed.
- Sam just didn't want the bracelets.
- A likely story.
- Darrin, this is despicable.
- Larry, you haven't lost anything.
I lost the millions
I was going to make...
and 10 percent
of all the accounts you handle.
You said you were going
to give that to me anyway.
I just said that
to make you miserable.
- Hi, honey. I'm home.
- Hi there, sweetheart.
How about Sorrento's
for dinner tonight?
Who's going to sit with Tabitha?
We are. Now you wait right here
and don't peek.
You promise? Okay.
All right, sweetheart.
You can come in now.
Buono appetito, Daddy.
Sam, this is just great.
And you were never better, Marcello.
And that is the prettiest dress
I've ever seen.
I wonder where Mommy learned to sew.
- From her mommy.
- I doubt that.
Unless her mommy
took sewing lessons from Betsy Ross.
Darrin. How did you know?
very pretty on you, Tabitha.
- It doesn't look like a dress.
- That's because it isn't finished yet.
Will it be a dress
before Daddy comes home?
No. You see, first you
have to cut it out...
and then you pin it
and put it on to see if it fits.
- Then is it a dress?
- Well, almost.
It takes a long time,
and it's hard work.
- I know how to do it quick.
- No.
Now, Tabitha, you know Daddy
doesn't want us to use witchcraft.
- Silly Mommy.
- Good grief.
- You sound just like Mother.
- Honey, I'm home.
Daddy, guess what Mommy's doing.
She's making a dress all by herself.
- She isn't even going to the store.
- I know, I know.
And it's coming along just fine.
My wife, the dressmaker.
- Sam, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
Tabitha, run along upstairs
and start getting ready for bed, okay?
Okay, Mommy.
- Thought I forgot, didn't you?
- Forgot what?
Happy sixth anniversary
of our first date.
I knew you'd remember.
Darrin, it's lovely.
"Come Back to Sorrento."
Oh, sweetheart, it's beautiful.
And we're going to celebrate
at Sorrento's tonight.
I called Marcello,
and he's holding a table for us.
What a surprise.
And just in case you surprised me...
I asked Mother to sit with Tabitha.
On second thought,
I'll send out for pizzas.
- Sweetheart, don't press your luck.
- I'll start getting ready.
- Something new from the big spender?
- Oh, Mother, must you eavesdrop?
Well, someone has to look after
my daughter's interests.
Look at you,
making Tabitha's clothes.
Samantha, you've been reduced to
a slave in Durwood's sweatshop.
- Mother, please.
- Well, all right.
Obviously, you're just too starry-eyed
to realize what's happening to you.
I have everything I want.
When I think of the luxuries
you've given up...
- Mother.
- What?
You give up.
I'm going upstairs and get ready.
- Miss... Miss Wilson?
- Yes?
I would like to see
Mr. Darrin Stephens, please.
- You have an appointment?
- No, no.
People don't make appointments
with... crackpots.
- You're a crackpot?
- No, no, but people usually think I am.
What'd you want to see
Mr. Stephens about?
Isn't he cute?
I would like to talk to Mr. Stephens...
about helping market
the little fellow.
It's amazing.
He kind of gives you
a feeling of well-being.
Well, you've heard of the Hula-Hoop,
Silly Putty, the drinking bird, Frisbee...
and now the Fuzz.
I've got a hunch this little fella
could catch on.
Oh, believe me, he will.
- Excuse me, Mr...
- Professor.
- Professor Mac Allister.
- Excuse me, professor.
I'll see if Mr. Stephens can squeeze in
a few moments for you.
Yes?
Are you terribly busy, Mr. Stephens?
Yes, but what is it, Miss Wilson?
I know it's my job
to brush off all the oddballs...
but there's a gentleman here
I think you ought to see.
You recommend this oddball?
Mr. Stephens,
do I bother you very often?
Okay, send him in.
Mr. Stephens,
this is Professor Mac Allister.
- How do you do?
- Good of you to see me, Mr. Stephens.
I have created a little doll.
- May I show it to you?
- Of course.
- Isn't it just darling?
- I call it... the Fuzz.
And it... Well, I don't know.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
I modestly think
there's something about this...
that will make everybody want one.
I agree, professor.
What can I do to help?
If you'll supply the creative
merchandising necessary to sell them...
I'll supply the dolls,
and we'll split 50-50.
But why me?
Now, Mr. Stephens, it's no secret
along Madison Avenue...
that you are a very successful
advertising man.
You have connections.
Possibly you could place the doll
in a local department store...
just to see if it catches on.
How much do these dolls
cost to make?
Practically nothing.
That is, if it's sold for a dollar...
we'd each make a quarter
and the store would make a quarter.
If it catches on, that could add up.
Darrin, Henderson is
in my office, and...
Professor Mac Allister,
this is Mr. Tate.
How do you do?
- What's that?
- Oh, that, Mr. Tate...
is a little doll I've created
that'll sweep the country.
I agree the country needs sweeping,
but a doll isn't going to do it.
It kind of makes you feel good.
Yeah, it does.
He's a cute little character.
Well, Lar...
how do you feel about McMann
and Tate launching the Fuzz?
The professor has offered
a 50-50 deal.
Darrin, I'm too old to play with dolls.
And I have
a $2 million account waiting...
that makes me feel
a lot better than the Fuzz.
Now let's start moving the wagons.
I've got a hunch about
this little fellow.
We handle the advertising
for Hanley's Department Store.
Call Jim Hanley and ask him
to set up a display of the Fuzz...
at their entrance tomorrow.
Give him the details.
Yes, Mr. Stephens.
Could you deliver
50 of these to them?
Oh, I think I'd better deliver 500,
just in case.
That's what I like,
an optimistic partner.
- It's been a pleasure knowing you.
- Thank you.
If you leave your telephone number
with Miss Wilson...
we'll let you know how we do.
Hi, darling.
Hi there, sweetheart.
- Tabitha.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi.
- Oh, what's that?
Sam, believe it or not,
I am dabbling in the doll business.
It's cute.
There's something about it...
The funny nose, the long hair.
- That makes people feel good.
- Here, now, hold it and see.
Well, I like it, but...
You don't get any message, huh?
That's funny.
- Everybody at the office wanted one.
- No telling what people might like.
- Here, sweetheart. This is for you.
- Thank you. That's nice, Daddy.
It's one of those things
that people just can't put down.
No man's a prophet
in his own home.
- Yes?
- Pardon, Mr. Tate...
but it's important that I speak
to Mr. Stephens. It's about the doll.
Would you people mind doing
your moonlighting after office hours?
- That's why they call it moonlighting.
- Sorry, Larry.
- What about the dolls, Miss Wilson?
- I'm so excited I could scream.
- So could I.
- Mr. Hanley called a few minutes ago...
and said they're already
out of the dolls.
They sold all 500 by 11:00.
Hey, they really like
that little character.
Big deal.
So you peddled 500 dolls.
The professor's rushing another 2000
over there right now.
- Wow, how about that?
- Yeah, how about that?
And listen to this, Mr. Stephens.
Mr. Hanley wants 200, 000
for their stores all over the country.
How long will it take the professor...
He said in a couple of days he'll have
the dolls. Sooner, if we want them.
Right. Well, carry on, Miss Wilson...
and try not to let Mr. Tate catch you
using the company phone.
Two hundred thousand dolls...
Will you quit fooling around
with those nickels and dimes?
That's $5000.
Five thousand dollars? You must've
made a mistake. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. You've got the decimal
point in the wrong place. That's...
fifty thousand dollars.
Yes, you're right!
It's an oil well, a gold mine.
Fifty thousand dollars.
And you say
you gave Miss Wilson 10 percent?
- That's $5000.
- Yeah.
And nothing for me.
Larry, if you remember, I offered
to split this deal with you.
Let's not cloud the issue with facts.
Let's get busy on this.
This is an advertising office,
not a doll factory.
You wouldn't mind if I went home
a little early today, would you?
I'd like to do a little shopping for Sam
and Tabitha. Tell them the good news.
Darrin, I find that remark
to be in very bad taste.
Sorry.
Turn around this way. Turn around.
I don't think I've got that quite right.
Hi, Sam, Tabitha.
Well, hi, sweetheart.
You're home early.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, darling.
Larry gave me the afternoon off.
For reasons that will become apparent,
he can't look at me...
without breaking into tears.
Now close your eyes and pucker up.
Hey, this is fun.
Solid gold.
Real jewels on both sides.
Well, that's certainly something
I wouldn't buy for myself.
Honey, don't you get it?
If you want something, just whistle.
- Sometimes you baffle me.
- Try it.
Yes, right this way.
A few little presents.
Right this way.
An original Lili Arlege dress...
from Paris,
designed especially for little girls...
- who have rich daddies.
- I like this dress better.
Well, I'm glad
someone feels that way.
Sam, the dress you're making is great
but you don't have to do that anymore.
Darrin, I love doing
that kind of thing.
What's happened?
Sam, those little dolls are a smash.
People are fighting to buy them.
There's something awfully strange
about all this...
if you know what I mean.
An ermine coat,
for strolling in the park.
That's what it is, all right...
an ermine coat,
for strolling in the park.
Didn't you get her
a mink playsuit to go with it?
Sam, you know there's no such thing
as a mink playsuit.
So I got her one in chinchilla.
Mother, I insist that you appear
before me immediately.
Yes, my precious. You called?
- Mother, what've you been up to?
- Isn't it obvious?
I've been spearfishing
with Prince Cellini in the Arctic Sea.
What a soggy bore,
but he does have a fascinating igloo.
You know what I'm talking about.
Did you put a spell
on a dumb little doll?
Oh, my dear child,
are you all right?
Don't evade the issue.
Mother, Darrin's involved
with some little doll...
Oh, my poor darling.
What's her name?
Oh, never mind her name.
Get Tabitha, and let's leave.
Don't bother to pack.
Mother, really. It's a toy doll
that everyone wants to buy.
Darrin's making a fortune...
and it's my guess
that it's your spell.
It's probably one of those affairs
that keep happening to mortals.
Mother.
Are you sure you didn't
put some kind of spell...?
- Witch's honour.
- You're absolutely sure?
Samantha, have I ever lied to you?
Well...?
Fine. Thank you very much.
The professor delivered 5,000 dolls
to the Detroit store.
Good, good.
Would you get that, honey?
What the Fuzz factory needs
is a full-time doorman.
Good idea.
Make a note of that, Miss Wilson.
The professor says
the additional 200,000 dolls...
will be on their way tomorrow.
We have to answer...
the call
from Yakamoto Department Store...
regarding the Tokyo franchise.
One sunken Roman bathtub, lady.
Where do you want it?
I'd hate to tell you.
This is too much. Darrin, that thing
won't fit in our bathroom.
Lady, let's not have
a domestic squabble.
- This thing weighs a ton.
- Darrin.
Oh, the birdbath.
It goes in the backyard.
Watch out for the furniture.
Darrin...
would you take
your Fuzz business to the office?
I promised Larry I wouldn't
work on this there.
I covered the whole house.
Nine rooms, nine colour TV sets.
Just what we need
the Roller Derby in every room.
Oh, Mr. Stephens? I wanna check
tomorrow's appointments with you.
One thirty, Mr. Merrick,
about backing a Broadway musical.
Two o'clock,
Mr. Craft, about the yacht.
And 2:30, Mr. Palmer,
measure you for golf clubs.
And you mustn't forget to call
Truman Capote for his guest list.
I've already done that.
It's on the way.
I'm sorry to barge in, but I wasn't
able to get you on the phone.
Sorry. I wanted to finish the Fuzz
business before I came into the office.
I know it upsets you.
Don't forget the professor
came to McMann and Tate...
not Darrin Stephens, Incorporated.
- Well, I appreciate that, Lar.
- It's Norman Gimbel.
You'll have to tell him
the New York franchise is gone.
Well, I guess I'm just an easygoing,
good-hearted guy...
so here's what I'm going to do.
This is an agreement
giving you 10 percent...
of your accounts, in exchange
for half your interest in the Fuzz...
which, by rights,
should be mine anyway.
That sounds like a fair deal.
Well, congratulations, both of you.
Larry, welcome to the doll business
and thank you for this percentage.
I loved doing it.
- I was gonna give it to you anyway.
- You were?
See you at the office,
you son of a gun.
- Okay.
- So long, Sam.
Stephens, how do you like
the styling?
Oh, that is perfect, Cosmo.
Same time tomorrow.
- Miss Wilson?
- That's probably Miss Dobrin.
Sam, prepare yourself
for a real surprise.
After all that's happened today
nothing could surprise me.
It's the new house!
- New house?
- Not just a house...
the Bedlington estate.
Here it is, Mr. Stephens.
It sits majestically in the centre
of 80 rolling acres.
Swimming pool, tennis courts,
polo fields. It's just got everything.
Not quite everything.
Where are the his and hers heliports?
Good suggestion, Sam. We'll tear out
the formal gardens and put them there.
Darrin, I don't want to move.
You know how I love this house.
Sweetheart, this was a great little place
in its day, but we gotta think big.
Don't worry about selling this place,
Mrs. Stephens.
There's a great demand
for these lower-priced homes.
However...
it's a shame there isn't something
more distinctive about this house.
A sunken living room, for example.
If you'll stand right over here,
I'll see what I can do.
I think I've seen enough, Mr. Stephens.
We'll have a sign up in the morning.
Miss Wilson, would you excuse us
for a minute, please?
Oh, certainly.
I'll get myself a cup of coffee.
Darrin, I must talk to you.
Right now.
- Now...
- Okay, honey. What's the problem?
Well, problem number one is...
I think there's something funny
about that little doll of yours...
and problem number two is you.
In what way am I a problem?
Sweetheart, it's not like you
to go off the deep end.
Well, honey, it's just that I've...
I've always wanted the very best
for you and Tabitha.
When we were married,
you made a big sacrifice for me.
No, you did.
You gave up you-know-what.
I realize I'm probably
overdoing it, but...
this money is my chance to give you
all the things you could've had.
Darrin, all the money in the world
couldn't buy what we already have.
I know that, Sam.
Just let me have the joy
of overdoing it for a little while.
That may be the nicest thing
you've ever said to me, maybe.
And it's only the beginning.
A castle in Spain.
A ch?teau in France
The Onassis island.
I wonder if that's for sale.
Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson,
we have work to do.
Oh, my stars.
Mother, I insist that you appear
before me this minute...
or this house will be
off-limits to you forever.
Really, Samantha.
I try to be attentive...
but you certainly can't blame me
for wanting to finish my slalom.
Mother, you're not
telling me the truth.
Honestly, my darling, I was skiing.
You know what I mean.
It's about Darrin.
Well, I gave you my witch's honour.
I love Darrin, and I can tell
when he's under a spell.
Now, the truth.
Is there a spell on those dolls
and on Darrin?
I wish you'd phrase that question
a little differently.
I knew it. I knew it!
Someone else
did your dirty work, right?
Oh, the burdens of a mother
with an ungrateful child.
- Yeah, yeah, Mother. Get on with it.
- I'll take care of it right away.
Oh, dear.
Honey, I can say one thing for Mother.
She meant well.
I guess I should've realized.
I feel ridiculous,
the way I've been acting.
Well, you acted normally,
under the circumstances.
- Sam, I'm a pauper.
- Well, I wouldn't go quite that far.
But you will be a little busy
the next few days returning gifts.
- Sam, what can I say?
- You don't have to say anything.
- There is a bright side to all this.
- What's that?
I can hardly wait to see
Larry's face...
when he finally finds out
how fast the Fuzz fad flops.
Darrin, where have you been?
It's 2:00.
I had a few diamond bracelets
and things to return.
- You knew it.
- Knew what?
The calls started coming around noon.
Nobody wants the Fuzz anymore.
The stores are returning them.
They don't even make you
feel good anymore.
- You're right.
- The fad's faded. The bubble's burst.
It's as if someone turned them all off
at the same time.
You win some, you lose some.
And you were
returning the diamonds...
because you knew
it was going to happen.
You took advantage of my greed.
- Sam just didn't want the bracelets.
- A likely story.
- Darrin, this is despicable.
- Larry, you haven't lost anything.
I lost the millions
I was going to make...
and 10 percent
of all the accounts you handle.
You said you were going
to give that to me anyway.
I just said that
to make you miserable.
- Hi, honey. I'm home.
- Hi there, sweetheart.
How about Sorrento's
for dinner tonight?
Who's going to sit with Tabitha?
We are. Now you wait right here
and don't peek.
You promise? Okay.
All right, sweetheart.
You can come in now.
Buono appetito, Daddy.
Sam, this is just great.
And you were never better, Marcello.
And that is the prettiest dress
I've ever seen.
I wonder where Mommy learned to sew.
- From her mommy.
- I doubt that.
Unless her mommy
took sewing lessons from Betsy Ross.
Darrin. How did you know?