Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 5, Episode 16 - Cousin Serena Strikes Again: Part 2 - full transcript
It's the morning after the night before Serena turned Darrin's client, the overly amorous Clio Vanita, into a monkey to protect Samantha and Darrin's marriage as Clio was hitting on Darrin. Serena is nowhere to be seen to turn Clio back into a human as Darrin banished her from the house forever. Darrin has to get Clio to an eleven o'clock meeting to sign a contract. Serena, after cooling off, eventually does return, but in the meantime the monkey escapes. While she sends Darrin to the office to prepare for the presentation, Samantha tracks the monkey on what ends up being a figurative maze, which is not easy to follow and has pitfalls along the way. And even if Samantha is able to find the monkey, get Serena to change her back into Clio Vanita, and get a human Clio to the meeting at McMann & Tate, there still is no guarantee that Clio will sign as she wasn't too keen on Darrin's campaign ideas the night before.
Serena.
I might have known.
Who were you expecting?
Steve McQueen?
Samantha,
may I present Clio Vanita?
- Darling.
- How do you...
Naughty boy.
Did you not promise
to take me to lunch?
And yet you never called.
Come to Rome with me.
What for?
Don't answer that.
No one is going to make a monkey
out of my cousin.
- Where's Miss Vanita?
- Right up there.
You took a live client
and turned her into a monkey?
Serena did it.
I've sent emergency calls
out everywhere.
No response.
Serena's just being stubborn.
Sam, what are we going to do?
That monkey has to be at a meeting
at 11:00 tomorrow.
Hey.
Sweetheart, what's the matter?
Oh, boy.
What a horrible nightmare.
I dreamt that one of our clients
was over for dinner.
Clio Vanita
of the Vanita wine account.
Sweetheart, she was here
for dinner last night.
That was last night?
And it wasn't a dream.
What?
Samantha, isn't there anything you
can do to get Serena to come here?
A spell you can cast? A hex?
Something?
I've alerted every member of the family
to be on the lookout for Serena.
They know how important it is.
All we can do is wait.
Sam, I've got an 11:00 meeting
at the office...
with Larry and that monkey
to sign a new contract.
What am I to do?
Get a monkey-print for a signature?
I'll tell you one thing:
We mortals may not be perfect...
but if we could change
a person into a monkey...
our scientists would certainly
find a way to change him back.
What am I saying?
I must be having a nervous breakdown.
- Spaghetti?
- It's the only thing she'd eat.
- Will she remember any of this?
- No.
Shut up, you rotten little monkey!
- It's Serena, she's come back.
- Darrin.
Since when does Serena
ring the doorbell?
I lost my head.
- Gosh, it's Larry. Keep her out of sight.
- Why?
I told Larry I drove Clio home
last night. If he sees her...
You're right.
I'd better get a hold of myself.
- Hi, Larry.
- Hi, Darrin.
I thought you and I could drive into
work and you can fill me in on things.
- What are you talking about?
- What do you think?
Cute, the way you manoeuvred it last
night so you could drive Clio home.
So don't keep me in suspense.
Did you patch it up?
Hey.
Cut it out.
- Did you find out who it belongs to?
- Not yet.
Will you stop that?
Sorry, sweetheart.
She got away from me.
- Morning, Larry.
- Hi, Sam. Looks like you've got a rival.
Well, let's face it, this boy's
got a fatal attraction for blonds.
- I noticed that last night.
- I was just kidding.
I wasn't.
If you're talking about Clio Vanita,
let me assure you that Darrin...
Larry, I'm not ready to leave,
and I don't want to make you late so...
Oh, yeah. Well, I'd better be going.
- Honey.
- I'll take her.
And please keep trying
to reach that party.
I will.
Come on.
Look at the cute little way
she swings her hips.
Larry!
I was talking about the monkey.
Well, I'll see you later, then, huh?
What'd I forget?
Oh, yeah.
The reason I stopped by.
- What about Clio?
- What about her?
Well, what happened when you
drove her home last night?
Why...
Yes, Sam?
- What is it?
- I thought you called me.
Didn't you call me?
Well, either way, I'll be with you in
a minute. Larry was just leaving.
I'll tell you all about it later, Larry.
- But I...
- So long, so long.
- What was all that about?
- I had to get rid of him. Where's Clio?
I tied her up out on the patio.
Sam, I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up. If we don't...
Yoo-hoo, Samantha, I'm back.
What are you doing in that outfit?
What else do you wear
to go boating on the Nile?
I never thought I'd say it,
but am I glad to see you.
I wish I could say the same.
Serena, Darrin's just
trying to be nice.
It's a hopeless task.
And, now, are you two going
to stop bugging me?
Of course, as soon as you change
that monkey back into my client.
Please, Serena?
Well, we're all sugar and spice today,
aren't we?
Yesterday, it was
straight arsenic and old lace.
That's because Darrin
isn't a spiteful person, Serena.
He... He realizes that he was
a little unfair to you, and he's sorry.
- Aren't you, dear?
- I've never been sorrier.
Serena, please.
Time is of the essence.
Don't know how I'm going to explain
to Clio where she was...
but I'll figure that out when...
Sam, where's the monkey?
I tied her right...
Oh, dear.
She must have slipped the noose.
No use wasting a good noose.
I'll just hang myself.
Oh, now, Darrin, stop that.
She must be somewhere
in the neighbourhood.
Well, as long as you don't need me,
I'll be getting back.
But we do need you.
Someone has to stay with Tabitha.
And as soon as we find the monkey,
you have to change her back.
And for Pete's sake,
will you put some clothes on?
Clio.
Clio.
Clio, where are you?
Oh, Clio. Come here, Clio.
Clio.
Clio.
I got a nice banana for you.
Oh, Clio.
Yoo-hoo, Clio.
Everybody's a critic.
Clio.
You did see a monkey?
Where? Where?
Darrin, come quick.
Where'd you see it?
A friend found one this morning.
He took it home.
A friend of his found the monkey
and took it home.
- A blond monkey?
- Yeah.
Excuse us.
The meeting's in 45 minutes. I'll go and
stall Larry while you get the monkey...
- and... You know what.
- Will you get going so I can go?
Okay. Bye.
- Where's this friend of yours?
- He didn't know who it belonged to.
It didn't have a licence or anything.
That's the reason he took it home.
We don't want to cause your friend
trouble, we just want the monkey.
- 134 Elm.
- 134 Elm. Thanks.
And, boy, will his mother
be glad to see you.
Oh, am I glad to see you.
Do you know what that monkey
did to my place?
- Believe me, I'll pay for any damage.
- Believe me, I know you will.
It tore my curtains, broke a lamp...
Oh, and not just any lamp.
It has to be the lamp my mother-in-law
gave us, and she knows I hate it.
What am I gonna tell her? Broke
three dishes from my best china...
- Sorry if you've been inconvenienced...
- Inconvenienced? My house is a wreck.
Would $20 make you happy?
That's all?
How much happiness do you want?
How about 30?
How about 25?
I'll take it.
Now may I have the monkey?
Are you kidding? You don't think
I'd keep that little monster here.
- What did you do with her?
- My kid took her down to the pet shop.
Goddard's on Main Street.
And, personally, I think he was
taken advantage of. He only got $10.
What are you doing?
Taking a little happiness for myself.
You sold the monkey already?
Lady, it was one of
the fastest turnovers I ever had.
- Who bought her?
- A fellow named Joe Scibetta.
He took one look at that monkey
and fell in love.
"Scibetta."
Wonder if he knew Clio's Italian.
- What?
- Never mind. May I use your phone?
Sure. Help yourself.
Say, I hope that monkey
wasn't stolen.
- No, she just ran away.
- Because I'm a reputable dealer, and...
Mr. Stephens, please. Mrs. Stephens.
Could you tell me where
Joe Scibetta lives?
I can't tell you his exact address, but
I can tell you where you can find him.
Oh, hi, Darrin.
Yes, I know it's 11:30.
No, she wasn't there.
You don't have to remind me that Clio's
account is worth half a million dollars.
I thought you said Clio
was the monkey's name.
It is.
I'm just as anxious as you are to get
her back there, but I may be delayed.
Look, why don't you make it
a luncheon meeting?
You and Larry and Clio can have a
couple of drinks, eat in the boardroom.
Oh, my, oh, my, I knew
I sold that monkey too cheap.
No! I'm no sell this monkey
for all the money in the world.
But you have to sell her to me.
She... Well, I know
this monkey very well...
and she just won't be happy
doing this kind of work.
What are you talking about?
She's the best monkey I've ever had.
Look at this monkey.
Look how happy, huh?
Blonds have more fun.
No. No, I no sell her for nothing.
Suppose I get you another monkey?
No.
With this monkey,
I'm gonna make my dream come true.
Dream?
Ever since I come to this country,
I have one dream in my heart.
- What's that?
- To go back to old country.
Mr. Scibetta...
how would you like a free trip
back to Italy?
You make joke with me, huh?
No, no. What I have in mind is...
Hey, Scibetta.
What did we tell you
about operating without a permit?
- Oh, you tell me get one.
- Well?
- I get one.
- You're a wise guy, huh?
Officer, if that's all, we're in
a bit of a hurry. So come along, Mr...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Is that a new monkey?
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
She's a beaut, huh?
Oh, yes, very cute.
Where is the monkey's licence?
Oh, well, I just buy her.
I no have chance to get a licence.
An animal has to be processed to make
sure he's not a menace to health.
There I think I can help you.
I happen to know that this monkey
is in perfect health.
If anything, she's too healthy.
That may be as it is, lady, but I am still
taking that animal into custody.
- No, you can't do that.
- Well, I think otherwise.
It... It bit me!
Come here.
Come back to your papa!
Clio!
Come back! Come back!
Where are you going? Where you...
How did she do that?
Oh, there's something weird about that
dame, and I'm gonna find out what it is.
Halt!
Lady, I'm warning you.
I'm gonna count three,
and then I'm coming in.
One...
two...
Do you hear me?
- Where's the monkey?
- What monkey?
Mrs. Stephens...
All right,
if that's the way it's gotta be.
And just what did you have in mind?
Thank you, Serena.
I think you better
get back to Tabitha.
Cousin, how much longer
do I have to babysit?
Oh, just a little while longer.
And I promise I'll do
the same for you someday.
I sincerely hope not.
I just remembered something.
This isn't my beat.
Where am I?
Why, we're on our way to your meeting
with Darrin and Larry Tate.
Darrin suggested that I pick you up,
because you weren't feeling too well...
when he drove you back
to your hotel last night.
I know how you feel but don't worry,
you look marvellous.
I guess you must be
a little confused, huh?
I'm a whole lots confused.
Where's my little monkey?
Well, it's rather difficult to explain,
but it really doesn't matter.
Now, here's what I'd like you to do.
- No question about it, she's sore at us.
- Why do you keep saying that?
Because she was due at 11,
and it's now 1:30.
- Three minutes to 1:30.
- What's the difference?
If she wasn't sore,
wouldn't she have called?
Not necessarily.
She might not be in a position to call.
- What do you mean?
- She could have been in an accident.
Oh, well, that would certainly
make me feel better.
- Larry, I don't mean she was in a...
- Darrin.
What went on last night
after we left?
You know,
something happened with Clio.
I know it.
Now, why don't you level with me?
Larry, there's nothing to tell.
The last I saw of Clio, she was in
fine spirits, not a care in the world.
Chattering away,
hopping up and down.
Hopping up and down?
Well...
Yes?
Mrs. Stephens is here
with Miss Vanita.
Thank you. Send them in.
How about that?
Excuse me, I'm so sorry,
but I guess I overslept.
Oh, sit down.
Clio, you naughty girl,
you really tied one on last night.
Yes, well, Darrin makes
a pretty powerful drink.
Lots of times I find that I can't
remember what went on at his house.
The reason we're late
is it took me a little time...
to find the right kind
of models that you asked for.
- Oh, yes, the models.
- Models?
To go with the new slogan
that Darrin came up with.
Darrin, why didn't you
tell me about it?
Well, I didn't want you to share
the blame in case it didn't go over.
But what is it?
I tried it out on Sam
to get the feminine point of view...
and she seemed to like it.
So, Sam, why don't you
try it out on Clio?
Better yet, why don't we show them?
You're gonna love it.
I certainly hope so.
Sweetheart,
is this what you had in mind?
Oh, I think so.
- Would you mind letting us in on it?
- In on what?
I'm beginning to think I wasn't the only
one who had a lot to drink last night.
The slogan, Darrin, the slogan.
Are you ready?
I'm past ready
and on my way to angry.
Go ahead, Sam, tell them.
Well, sweetheart, it's your idea.
You tell them.
Sam.
Yeah, well, okay.
You see, Darrin wanted to use
the organ grinder and his monkey...
to illustrate his slogan, which is:
"Don't monkey around
with anything but the best.
Drink Vino Vanita."
No wonder you wanted
Samantha to say it.
- I think it is sensational.
- I love it.
Didn't I tell you he was a genius?
The organ grinder
reminds us of Italy, no?
And the little monkey, charming.
How does it go?
Don't fool around
with anything but the best.
I love it.
- Actually, it's "Don't monkey around..."
- Forget it, Darrin. We made the sale.
We also have a commercial jingle
for Vino Vanita...
- that ties in with these same models.
- We do?
That we could discuss
sometime late tomorrow.
"Don't monkey around
with anything but the best."
"Monkey around."
It does have a ring to it, no?
Yes, it does, doesn't it?
Higgledy-piggledy, my red hen
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Read me another one, Auntie Serena.
Okay, sweets.
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick.
More.
Here comes your father,
the spoilsport.
- What's the meaning of this?
- Beats me.
I don't groove on these
nursery rhymes at all...
but they sure flip the kid.
Samantha, why don't you take Tabitha
into the kitchen...
for some cookies and milk?
I want to stay
and hear you scream, Daddy.
Sam.
Darrin, Serena was just
entertaining Tabitha...
the only way she knows how.
So don't be...
And I'm going to be as gracious
as I know how.
I hope so. Come on, sweetheart.
Serena, if you'll be good enough
to get rid of that...
I'd like to have
a little chat with you.
Well, if we must, we must.
Thank you.
Serena, there's no sense in trying
to be gracious with you...
so I'll make my point.
The next time you visit here
I'd like to make one simple request.
- What's that?
- Don't.
Cousin-in-law,
if that's as gracious as you can be...
I am going to show you
how entertaining I can be.
Oh, Serena, you're a riot.
Sam!
Darrin, you promised me
you were gonna be...
- and you weren't.
Samantha, do something.
Serena, please?
Not until he apologises.
Darrin, apologise.
- What for?
- What for?
He insulted me.
I did not insult her.
- You didn't?
- No!
In order for someone to be insulted
they have to have feelings.
That did it.
And he can stay that way
till doomsday.
- Sam, don't let her go. Get her back.
- It's no use, sweetheart.
You'll just have to wait
until Serena cools off.
And what do I do in the meantime?
Well, don't worry.
With your luck, doomsday may be
just around the corner.
Sam.
Well?
I might have known.
Who were you expecting?
Steve McQueen?
Samantha,
may I present Clio Vanita?
- Darling.
- How do you...
Naughty boy.
Did you not promise
to take me to lunch?
And yet you never called.
Come to Rome with me.
What for?
Don't answer that.
No one is going to make a monkey
out of my cousin.
- Where's Miss Vanita?
- Right up there.
You took a live client
and turned her into a monkey?
Serena did it.
I've sent emergency calls
out everywhere.
No response.
Serena's just being stubborn.
Sam, what are we going to do?
That monkey has to be at a meeting
at 11:00 tomorrow.
Hey.
Sweetheart, what's the matter?
Oh, boy.
What a horrible nightmare.
I dreamt that one of our clients
was over for dinner.
Clio Vanita
of the Vanita wine account.
Sweetheart, she was here
for dinner last night.
That was last night?
And it wasn't a dream.
What?
Samantha, isn't there anything you
can do to get Serena to come here?
A spell you can cast? A hex?
Something?
I've alerted every member of the family
to be on the lookout for Serena.
They know how important it is.
All we can do is wait.
Sam, I've got an 11:00 meeting
at the office...
with Larry and that monkey
to sign a new contract.
What am I to do?
Get a monkey-print for a signature?
I'll tell you one thing:
We mortals may not be perfect...
but if we could change
a person into a monkey...
our scientists would certainly
find a way to change him back.
What am I saying?
I must be having a nervous breakdown.
- Spaghetti?
- It's the only thing she'd eat.
- Will she remember any of this?
- No.
Shut up, you rotten little monkey!
- It's Serena, she's come back.
- Darrin.
Since when does Serena
ring the doorbell?
I lost my head.
- Gosh, it's Larry. Keep her out of sight.
- Why?
I told Larry I drove Clio home
last night. If he sees her...
You're right.
I'd better get a hold of myself.
- Hi, Larry.
- Hi, Darrin.
I thought you and I could drive into
work and you can fill me in on things.
- What are you talking about?
- What do you think?
Cute, the way you manoeuvred it last
night so you could drive Clio home.
So don't keep me in suspense.
Did you patch it up?
Hey.
Cut it out.
- Did you find out who it belongs to?
- Not yet.
Will you stop that?
Sorry, sweetheart.
She got away from me.
- Morning, Larry.
- Hi, Sam. Looks like you've got a rival.
Well, let's face it, this boy's
got a fatal attraction for blonds.
- I noticed that last night.
- I was just kidding.
I wasn't.
If you're talking about Clio Vanita,
let me assure you that Darrin...
Larry, I'm not ready to leave,
and I don't want to make you late so...
Oh, yeah. Well, I'd better be going.
- Honey.
- I'll take her.
And please keep trying
to reach that party.
I will.
Come on.
Look at the cute little way
she swings her hips.
Larry!
I was talking about the monkey.
Well, I'll see you later, then, huh?
What'd I forget?
Oh, yeah.
The reason I stopped by.
- What about Clio?
- What about her?
Well, what happened when you
drove her home last night?
Why...
Yes, Sam?
- What is it?
- I thought you called me.
Didn't you call me?
Well, either way, I'll be with you in
a minute. Larry was just leaving.
I'll tell you all about it later, Larry.
- But I...
- So long, so long.
- What was all that about?
- I had to get rid of him. Where's Clio?
I tied her up out on the patio.
Sam, I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up. If we don't...
Yoo-hoo, Samantha, I'm back.
What are you doing in that outfit?
What else do you wear
to go boating on the Nile?
I never thought I'd say it,
but am I glad to see you.
I wish I could say the same.
Serena, Darrin's just
trying to be nice.
It's a hopeless task.
And, now, are you two going
to stop bugging me?
Of course, as soon as you change
that monkey back into my client.
Please, Serena?
Well, we're all sugar and spice today,
aren't we?
Yesterday, it was
straight arsenic and old lace.
That's because Darrin
isn't a spiteful person, Serena.
He... He realizes that he was
a little unfair to you, and he's sorry.
- Aren't you, dear?
- I've never been sorrier.
Serena, please.
Time is of the essence.
Don't know how I'm going to explain
to Clio where she was...
but I'll figure that out when...
Sam, where's the monkey?
I tied her right...
Oh, dear.
She must have slipped the noose.
No use wasting a good noose.
I'll just hang myself.
Oh, now, Darrin, stop that.
She must be somewhere
in the neighbourhood.
Well, as long as you don't need me,
I'll be getting back.
But we do need you.
Someone has to stay with Tabitha.
And as soon as we find the monkey,
you have to change her back.
And for Pete's sake,
will you put some clothes on?
Clio.
Clio.
Clio, where are you?
Oh, Clio. Come here, Clio.
Clio.
Clio.
I got a nice banana for you.
Oh, Clio.
Yoo-hoo, Clio.
Everybody's a critic.
Clio.
You did see a monkey?
Where? Where?
Darrin, come quick.
Where'd you see it?
A friend found one this morning.
He took it home.
A friend of his found the monkey
and took it home.
- A blond monkey?
- Yeah.
Excuse us.
The meeting's in 45 minutes. I'll go and
stall Larry while you get the monkey...
- and... You know what.
- Will you get going so I can go?
Okay. Bye.
- Where's this friend of yours?
- He didn't know who it belonged to.
It didn't have a licence or anything.
That's the reason he took it home.
We don't want to cause your friend
trouble, we just want the monkey.
- 134 Elm.
- 134 Elm. Thanks.
And, boy, will his mother
be glad to see you.
Oh, am I glad to see you.
Do you know what that monkey
did to my place?
- Believe me, I'll pay for any damage.
- Believe me, I know you will.
It tore my curtains, broke a lamp...
Oh, and not just any lamp.
It has to be the lamp my mother-in-law
gave us, and she knows I hate it.
What am I gonna tell her? Broke
three dishes from my best china...
- Sorry if you've been inconvenienced...
- Inconvenienced? My house is a wreck.
Would $20 make you happy?
That's all?
How much happiness do you want?
How about 30?
How about 25?
I'll take it.
Now may I have the monkey?
Are you kidding? You don't think
I'd keep that little monster here.
- What did you do with her?
- My kid took her down to the pet shop.
Goddard's on Main Street.
And, personally, I think he was
taken advantage of. He only got $10.
What are you doing?
Taking a little happiness for myself.
You sold the monkey already?
Lady, it was one of
the fastest turnovers I ever had.
- Who bought her?
- A fellow named Joe Scibetta.
He took one look at that monkey
and fell in love.
"Scibetta."
Wonder if he knew Clio's Italian.
- What?
- Never mind. May I use your phone?
Sure. Help yourself.
Say, I hope that monkey
wasn't stolen.
- No, she just ran away.
- Because I'm a reputable dealer, and...
Mr. Stephens, please. Mrs. Stephens.
Could you tell me where
Joe Scibetta lives?
I can't tell you his exact address, but
I can tell you where you can find him.
Oh, hi, Darrin.
Yes, I know it's 11:30.
No, she wasn't there.
You don't have to remind me that Clio's
account is worth half a million dollars.
I thought you said Clio
was the monkey's name.
It is.
I'm just as anxious as you are to get
her back there, but I may be delayed.
Look, why don't you make it
a luncheon meeting?
You and Larry and Clio can have a
couple of drinks, eat in the boardroom.
Oh, my, oh, my, I knew
I sold that monkey too cheap.
No! I'm no sell this monkey
for all the money in the world.
But you have to sell her to me.
She... Well, I know
this monkey very well...
and she just won't be happy
doing this kind of work.
What are you talking about?
She's the best monkey I've ever had.
Look at this monkey.
Look how happy, huh?
Blonds have more fun.
No. No, I no sell her for nothing.
Suppose I get you another monkey?
No.
With this monkey,
I'm gonna make my dream come true.
Dream?
Ever since I come to this country,
I have one dream in my heart.
- What's that?
- To go back to old country.
Mr. Scibetta...
how would you like a free trip
back to Italy?
You make joke with me, huh?
No, no. What I have in mind is...
Hey, Scibetta.
What did we tell you
about operating without a permit?
- Oh, you tell me get one.
- Well?
- I get one.
- You're a wise guy, huh?
Officer, if that's all, we're in
a bit of a hurry. So come along, Mr...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Is that a new monkey?
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
She's a beaut, huh?
Oh, yes, very cute.
Where is the monkey's licence?
Oh, well, I just buy her.
I no have chance to get a licence.
An animal has to be processed to make
sure he's not a menace to health.
There I think I can help you.
I happen to know that this monkey
is in perfect health.
If anything, she's too healthy.
That may be as it is, lady, but I am still
taking that animal into custody.
- No, you can't do that.
- Well, I think otherwise.
It... It bit me!
Come here.
Come back to your papa!
Clio!
Come back! Come back!
Where are you going? Where you...
How did she do that?
Oh, there's something weird about that
dame, and I'm gonna find out what it is.
Halt!
Lady, I'm warning you.
I'm gonna count three,
and then I'm coming in.
One...
two...
Do you hear me?
- Where's the monkey?
- What monkey?
Mrs. Stephens...
All right,
if that's the way it's gotta be.
And just what did you have in mind?
Thank you, Serena.
I think you better
get back to Tabitha.
Cousin, how much longer
do I have to babysit?
Oh, just a little while longer.
And I promise I'll do
the same for you someday.
I sincerely hope not.
I just remembered something.
This isn't my beat.
Where am I?
Why, we're on our way to your meeting
with Darrin and Larry Tate.
Darrin suggested that I pick you up,
because you weren't feeling too well...
when he drove you back
to your hotel last night.
I know how you feel but don't worry,
you look marvellous.
I guess you must be
a little confused, huh?
I'm a whole lots confused.
Where's my little monkey?
Well, it's rather difficult to explain,
but it really doesn't matter.
Now, here's what I'd like you to do.
- No question about it, she's sore at us.
- Why do you keep saying that?
Because she was due at 11,
and it's now 1:30.
- Three minutes to 1:30.
- What's the difference?
If she wasn't sore,
wouldn't she have called?
Not necessarily.
She might not be in a position to call.
- What do you mean?
- She could have been in an accident.
Oh, well, that would certainly
make me feel better.
- Larry, I don't mean she was in a...
- Darrin.
What went on last night
after we left?
You know,
something happened with Clio.
I know it.
Now, why don't you level with me?
Larry, there's nothing to tell.
The last I saw of Clio, she was in
fine spirits, not a care in the world.
Chattering away,
hopping up and down.
Hopping up and down?
Well...
Yes?
Mrs. Stephens is here
with Miss Vanita.
Thank you. Send them in.
How about that?
Excuse me, I'm so sorry,
but I guess I overslept.
Oh, sit down.
Clio, you naughty girl,
you really tied one on last night.
Yes, well, Darrin makes
a pretty powerful drink.
Lots of times I find that I can't
remember what went on at his house.
The reason we're late
is it took me a little time...
to find the right kind
of models that you asked for.
- Oh, yes, the models.
- Models?
To go with the new slogan
that Darrin came up with.
Darrin, why didn't you
tell me about it?
Well, I didn't want you to share
the blame in case it didn't go over.
But what is it?
I tried it out on Sam
to get the feminine point of view...
and she seemed to like it.
So, Sam, why don't you
try it out on Clio?
Better yet, why don't we show them?
You're gonna love it.
I certainly hope so.
Sweetheart,
is this what you had in mind?
Oh, I think so.
- Would you mind letting us in on it?
- In on what?
I'm beginning to think I wasn't the only
one who had a lot to drink last night.
The slogan, Darrin, the slogan.
Are you ready?
I'm past ready
and on my way to angry.
Go ahead, Sam, tell them.
Well, sweetheart, it's your idea.
You tell them.
Sam.
Yeah, well, okay.
You see, Darrin wanted to use
the organ grinder and his monkey...
to illustrate his slogan, which is:
"Don't monkey around
with anything but the best.
Drink Vino Vanita."
No wonder you wanted
Samantha to say it.
- I think it is sensational.
- I love it.
Didn't I tell you he was a genius?
The organ grinder
reminds us of Italy, no?
And the little monkey, charming.
How does it go?
Don't fool around
with anything but the best.
I love it.
- Actually, it's "Don't monkey around..."
- Forget it, Darrin. We made the sale.
We also have a commercial jingle
for Vino Vanita...
- that ties in with these same models.
- We do?
That we could discuss
sometime late tomorrow.
"Don't monkey around
with anything but the best."
"Monkey around."
It does have a ring to it, no?
Yes, it does, doesn't it?
Higgledy-piggledy, my red hen
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Read me another one, Auntie Serena.
Okay, sweets.
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick.
More.
Here comes your father,
the spoilsport.
- What's the meaning of this?
- Beats me.
I don't groove on these
nursery rhymes at all...
but they sure flip the kid.
Samantha, why don't you take Tabitha
into the kitchen...
for some cookies and milk?
I want to stay
and hear you scream, Daddy.
Sam.
Darrin, Serena was just
entertaining Tabitha...
the only way she knows how.
So don't be...
And I'm going to be as gracious
as I know how.
I hope so. Come on, sweetheart.
Serena, if you'll be good enough
to get rid of that...
I'd like to have
a little chat with you.
Well, if we must, we must.
Thank you.
Serena, there's no sense in trying
to be gracious with you...
so I'll make my point.
The next time you visit here
I'd like to make one simple request.
- What's that?
- Don't.
Cousin-in-law,
if that's as gracious as you can be...
I am going to show you
how entertaining I can be.
Oh, Serena, you're a riot.
Sam!
Darrin, you promised me
you were gonna be...
- and you weren't.
Samantha, do something.
Serena, please?
Not until he apologises.
Darrin, apologise.
- What for?
- What for?
He insulted me.
I did not insult her.
- You didn't?
- No!
In order for someone to be insulted
they have to have feelings.
That did it.
And he can stay that way
till doomsday.
- Sam, don't let her go. Get her back.
- It's no use, sweetheart.
You'll just have to wait
until Serena cools off.
And what do I do in the meantime?
Well, don't worry.
With your luck, doomsday may be
just around the corner.
Sam.
Well?