Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Short Happy Circuit of Aunt Clara - full transcript

You ready yet, honey?

[Samantha] I'll be
right down. Good.

That'll give me
another 10 minutes.

Hook this for me, will
you, honey? Mm-hmm.

Sam... Oh, I'm sorry.

There you go. Thanks.

Say, how did you manage
that when you were single?

Oh, I had to use witchcraft.

It was much more dependable
but not nearly as much fun.

Honey, I'm sorry this
turned into a business dinner,

but Larry's dying
to land this account.



Mr. MacElroy's
leaving town tonight.

- Have I met him?
- No, but you've probably
been in his shoes.

- Huh?
- MacElroy Shoes. One of
the biggest in the country.

- Shoes for the whole family.
- Oh.

And I don't mind
saying myself...

I've come up with some
pretty big ideas. [Giggling]

What you need is some
smaller ideas or a bigger tube.

The babysitter isn't
here yet anyway.

By the way, who is it?

Who? The sitter.

Aw, Sam, you didn't.

Well, Darrin, Aunt
Clara volunteered,

and I couldn't say no
without hurting her feelings.

Besides, we have to be extra
specially nice to her right now.



- She had a big disappointment.
- She flunked the national
drivers' test?

Darrin, don't be ridiculous.

Aunt Clara can barely
fly, let alone drive.

No. She's just
broken up with Ocky.

- Ocky?
- Octavius.

He's a warlock she
used to be very fond of.

But then the old fool
met a young witch, and...

Well, you know the
rest. It's an old story.

Oh, sure. It happens every day.

Old warlock runs off
with a pretty young witch.

Poor old girl. As if she
didn't have enough trouble.

Okay, she can sit. But
that's all, understand?

Yes, darling. I'll tell her.

[Whooshing]

Oh, dear.

Aunt Clara, we've got
a front door, you know.

I must have let my
flaps down too soon.

Good night, dear Aunt Clara,
and try to cheer up, huh?

- Yeah, maybe he'll come back.
- Who?

- Octavius.
- No, I've forgotten
him completely.

That's good, dear.

- I bear him no grudge.
- We won't be too late.

And he's free to do
whatever he wants.

- Good night, Aunt Clara.
- Night.

After all, he is over 21.

Boy. Is he over.

Still awake, precious?

Aunt Clara will sing
you a little lullaby.

[Chuckles]

♪ Me, me Me, me, me, me ♪

♪♪ [Vocalizing]

♪ Lullaby ♪

♪ Lullaby ♪

♪ Lullaby ♪

[Crying]

[Clears Throat]

[Off-key] ♪ Lullaby
♪ [Crying Continues]

♪ And good night ♪♪

[Crying Continues]

Oh, I wish... [Stammering]

I wish this were
nearer the nursery.

It worked!

Well!

You've still got it, old girl.

[Crying]

Oh, look.

Mommy! [Crying]

Oh, dear. Oh, what's happening.

Oh. Oh, stop that.

Now, that's no way
for a piano to behave.

Oh, I must do something fast.

Oh. Piano, piano,

that I prize, return to
that convenient size.

[Doorbell Rings]

Anybody... Aah!

Oh. Oh, Mrs. Kravitz.

Oh, so nice of you to drop in.

H-H-How'd that
piano get up there?

What piano?

[Crying Resumes]

Well. We got out of that one.

Now, let's get on with this one.

Just wait till you see some of
Stephens's layouts for MacElroy Shoes...

Fresh, original, inventive.

Naturally, Mr. Tate made
a strong contribution too.

[Larry] Oh, thank you, Darrin.

That's not only very
generous of you...

but if you hadn't said
it, I'd have fired you.

About the layouts,
Mr. MacElroy...

I'll be glad to look at them
after dinner... if there's time.

Can't miss that plane, you know.

Uh, delicious roast, Louise.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, are you finished
already? [Samantha] I am too.

Me too. Aren't you, dear?

Oh, yes, yes.

[Samantha]
Mr. MacElroy's through too.

Oh, Louise, I just can't wait to
see what you have for dessert.

Oh, you'll love it. It's
fattening, but you'll love it.

O piano, black as night,

how I wish that you were light.

- Oh!
- What happened?

Oh, i-it's probably a
power failure or something.

No problem. [Whispering]
Keep going, keep going.

Uh, Mr. MacElroy, we'd like to
present some ideas for a new slogan.

- Thank you, honey. Try this on for size.
- Don't like it.

But I haven't mentioned it yet.

Maybe we'd better postpone this
until I come back to town next time.

Uh, no, no, no. We'll get more
candles. Louise, more candles, huh?

Forget the candles. How
about some more brandy?

[Larry] Uh, right.

Louise, more
brandy, more brandy.

Here you are, back
where you belong.

And I did it. [Chuckles]

I certainly don't know how.

How should we get
the lights back on?

[Doorbell Rings]

Oh, dear. Now, if that's
Darrin and Samantha,

I'm through as a sitter.

Sitter? I'm through as an aunt.

Good evening. Hello.

We just wanted to find out if
everything was all right over here.

Oh, everything's fine.

I've been watching television.

- With no electricity?
- Oh, you noticed that.

Have you got a
flashlight in the house?

Well, I r-really don't know.

Well, here. Take
this. We have extras.

- Uh, are your lights out too?
- Shh, shh.

Oh, for the love of Pete. The whole
Eastern seaboard is blacked out.

[Mrs. Kravitz] It
is? What caused it?

They don't know yet.

Well, I hope they
never find out.

[Phone Ringing]

Uh, excuse me.

Come on, Gladys. Good night.

[Ringing Continues]

Hi, Aunt Clara. Is
everything all right?

Oh, of course, of course.
Why shouldn't it be?

A-Aren't the lights out?
They are everywhere else.

Oh, yes. The lights
are out here too.

Well, what a coincidence.

Well, I doubt if that's what the electric
company's calling it. How's Tabatha?

She's sleeping peacefully.

Well, that's good.
I'll check later.

Aunt Clara? You sure
everything's all right?

Oh, everything's
fine. Everything's fine.

Bye-bye.

Putting the lights
out in 12 states.

Could have happened to anybody.

But how am I gonna
get them back on again?

Uh... Uh... Oh, I've
got to have help.

Oh, I wish Ocky were here.

I... Maybe I could
bring him here.

I can try.

Eyes like fishes,

nose like dishes,

Ocky! Clara.

Oh! It worked.

Well. It worked.

Oh, I still have my touch.

Clara, my darling. Oh,
no. Nothing like that.

No, I called you
back professionally.

And then after that you can
go back to your little, uh, witch.

Clara, I don't want her. I
want to come back to you.

Uh... Do you?

- You know what she did to me?
- [Mumbling] What did she do?

The little gold digger.
"Give me this, give me that."

Grab, grab, grab.

I must have blown a year's magic
on her. I never want to see her again.

Oh, dear.

But she's so pretty
and so young and...

You're just as pretty as she is.

Oh, no... Oh, no, Ocky. No, no.

Will you please take me back?

Well, maybe I will
and maybe I won't.

Now, I... I need help.

I've just put out
all the lights...

along the Eastern seaboard.

Purposely? On mistake.

I'll say this: When you
make one, it's a beaut.

Let's see, now. This
isn't gonna be easy.

Okay. Let's have a whirl at it.

Red rat, newman, cosgo, doozit.

Googol. Hobit,
ledin, ladd, indrogsit,

Eastern seaboard.

Oh!

Ocky, you did it. Oh! Yeah!

How about that?

Oh-ho. What happened?

Well... Do it
again. Do it again.

Now, put a little
more zing into it. Okay.

Your hands. It's your
hands, Ocky. Are they gone?

Oh, no, no. But you must keep
them up to keep the lights on.

Swell.

Abner. You said the
lights were out all over.

That's right. All over the East.

So how come they're
on across the street?

Don't be ridiculous.
They can't be.

No? Come see for yourself.

Gladys, have you got that
buzzing in your head again?

Take a look.

Ocky? Did you put
your hands down?

I had an itch. Do you mind?

"The lights are on
across the street," huh?

They were. You'll
be all right, dear,

as soon as the
swelling goes down.

Now they're on again!

Gladys, it's dangerous to stand by the
window. Somebody might throw a rock at you.

Who would do a thing like that?

Me, if you don't sit
down and shut up.

Now, here's a slogan you're
going to like a lot more...

than the others, Mr. MacElroy.

"There's no business
like shoe business."

So much for slogans.

Hi, there, Aunt
Clara. Just checking.

You all right? Good.
How's Tabatha?

Oh, fine. She's sleeping
peacefully, like a baby.

How are you doing
without lights?

Oh, we have lights now.

But the radio said the
whole city was blacked out.

How could you
possibly have lights?

Well, uh, I don't know.

I'm a witch, not an electrician.

Aunt Clara, I don't understand.

How could you have
light unless you...

Now, listen... You have
lights at your place?

[Stammering] Why, yes.

Well, great. Let's all jump in
the car and get over there...

before this whole deal
goes down the drain.

Hello? We'll be right there.

But... But...

But-But I'm not calling to
complain about my lights being out.

I just want to ask
a simple question.

How come the lights
are on across the street?

I am not a crank, and
if you don't believe me,

you can check for yourself.

[Vehicle Approaching]

Oh. Oh, my niece is coming.

Oh, dear. Well, I'd
rather she didn't see you.

I'd rather she
didn't see me either.

Uh, do you mind stepping
in here in the closet?

[Stammering] You
know... Um... Do you?

Keep your hands up.

Oh, keep your hands up, Ocky.

[Doorbell Rings]

Hi, Aunt Clara. I really should
be leaving for the airport.

We'll see you get downtown,
won't we, Darrin? Absolutely.

Aunt Clara, don't you have
something you'd like to tell me?

Tell... [Stammering]

I had a feeling you'd say that.

I'm going to go up and check
Tabatha. Yes, take your time, dear.

And another thing. We think
you ought to be using TV.

Darrin, tell him about the
spectacular you dreamt up.

It's a beaut. What I had in
mind was a great big shoe.

Yes, we based the whole thing on
"The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe."

And we have some
marvelous songs.

- "Shoe, Shoe, Baby"?
- "Body and Sole"?

"Buttons and Bows"?

- For ladies' shoes.
- Got any brandy?

Somebody, brandy
for Mr. MacElroy.

Darrin, show him
the newspaper layout.

You want to see some
really clever copy?

- Yes.
- Just wait.

Where's the brandy?

[Larry] Yes. The brandy!

Uh, Mr. MacElroy, we
thought we'd start out with...

[Larry] Oh, no. Not again.

There's a flashlight right
there on the table, Larry.

Gentlemen, I really
should be leaving.

No, you-you can't leave
before you see this ad!

See? I can't see anything.

Just a little dance I
learned in Scotland.

It's called "The
Wee Kick of the Kirk."

Bet she knows
where the brandy is.

[Doorbell Rings] Now what?

Never mind, Darrin. I'll get it.

Yes? Power company.
We got a complaint about...

Your lights are on.

How about that? Come on, fellas.

Uh, just a minute. Don't worry,
lady. We'll have 'em out in no time.

What? I mean,
we'll get it fixed,

find the trouble, check it out.

Darrin, will you
get rid of them?

Now-Now, just a minute. My husband's
in the middle of something very important.

Lady, everybody in the city was in
the middle of something important.

But I only got two hands.
Fellas, you check the fuse box...

and I'll go check the
wiring in the kitchen.

Boy, Aunt Clara, you
just wait till I get you alone.

[Both Chattering, Indistinct]

Now, wait a minute!
I've got a problem here!

I've got a very important client here.
We can use all the light we can get!

Look, I've got to get to
the airport. No, no, no.

No, Mr. MacElroy. Wait. You've
got plenty of time. Plenty. Darrin!

Will you forget
about him, Darrin?

All right, I'll get
my own brandy.

Oh! Sorry for all these
interruptions, Mr. MacElroy.

Ah, I see you got your brandy.
Come on over here and sit down.

Aunt Clara, there's something
funny going on around here.

Oh, I wish you'd tell me. I'm
dying to have a good laugh.

- [Gladys Screaming]
- What was that?

Oh, I've got to get out of here.

Now, wait, Mr. MacElroy.

Mrs. Kravitz, what
are you doing here?

Uh, never mind me.
What-What are you doing here?

Me?

Mrs. Kravitz,
what is the matter?

There's something in
that closet! What is it?

I-I think it was a
moth, but it moved!

That's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous.

Take a look!

All right.

[Muttering] Uh, wait.

Look, Mrs. Kravitz.
There's no one in the closet.

- [Screams]
- [Body Thuds]

Saved your Sunday
punch for the last, right?

- What?
- Now, that's what I call
a clever idea.

Animated shoes. It's only great.

Uh... Animated shoes?

What kind of voices did you
have in mind for the shoes?

Voices?

Yeah, voices. Come on
back and let's talk about it.

- Uh, what about his plane?
- Darrin!

[MacElroy] You must be joshing.

I'm not leaving town
till I hear all about this.

Now, what are the details?
Yes, let's hear the details.

The details... Let me
have some of that brandy.

We're gonna check the
power lines on the outside.

Just be patient. We'll get
to the bottom of this yet.

I certainly hope so.

[Doorbell Rings]

What happened? She fainted.

Good. Now I can get some sleep.

Love the fainting lady. How do you
work her in to the animated shoes?

Aunt Clara, what have you done?

About what?

Oh, my stars.

Good morning,
sweetheart. Oh, hi.

How do you feel? Like a million.

Which is just about what
MacElroy's account is worth.

Yes, well, don't forget, you owe it
all to Aunt Clara's irresponsibility.

They talked to a puppet man. He said
it'll be a cinch to animate those shoes.

Really?

You know, it's amazing
what human beings can do.

Listen to this.

"Power company officials announced
that last night's massive blackout...

"was due to a power reversal.

"The sudden surge
in the Niagara Grid...

"compounded by the failure
of an automatic cutoff system...

was a one-in-a-million
accident."

Aunt Clara didn't do it.
Where are you going?

- To tell her.
- Oh, but Darrin,

she thinks she did it.

She's even kind of proud of
herself. Aunt Clara's a new woman.

I don't get it.

Will it hurt to let her go on
thinking she's responsible?

Honey, she's bound to
read about it in the papers.

Oh, well, so what? The
newspapers are always coming up...

with logical explanations
for things we witches do.

- She won't pay
any attention to it.
- It's okay with me.

And who knows.
Maybe she did do it.

Hmm?

Well, the failure of an
automatic cutoff system...

was a one-in-a-million
accident, or...

one of Aunt Clara's goof-ups.

Now, which is harder to believe?

I'd give anything if
you hadn't asked.