Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 3, Episode 5 - A Most Unusual Wood Nymph - full transcript

Samantha and Darrin are expecting a visit from Gerry O'Toole, Darrin's great aunt's friend who they've never met. Upon Gerry's arrival, they are surprised that Gerry's visit is an extended one being at least overnight, and that Gerry is actually Geraldine. With a little help from Endora deciphering Gerry's unique talents and behavior, Samantha eventually learns that Gerry is a wood nymph, who are mortal enemies of witches. Thus, Samantha figures that Gerry has ulterior motives for her visit. Indeed, Gerry has come to carry out a curse her people placed on one of Darrin's ancestors, Darrin the Bold, and all of Darrin the Bold's descendants for Darrin the Bold slaying Rufus the Red. Samantha figures the only way to lift the curse is to go back to the time of Darrin the Bold - the 15th century - and stop him from slaying Rufus the Red. The problem: Samantha will not have her powers so will have to rely solely on her ingenuity to stop the slaying.

[Samantha] Darrin? Yeah?

A cab just drove up. It
must be what's-his-name,

the friend of your great aunt Leticia's
from Ireland. Jerry O'Toole? Oh, no.

What's the matter? This is one morning
I can't afford to be late to the office.

I hate to do this, honey, but I'm
gonna have to sneak out the back door.

Well, that's not being very
hospitable. But look at the time!

Surely you can take just
a minute to say "hello."

You can't say "hello" to an Irishman in
a minute. I'll see him when I get home.

Oh, all right. He's not my
great aunt Leticia's friend.

Relax. I didn't even remember I had a great
aunt Leticia until she wrote. Bye, honey.

I should think you'd be curious
to meet someone from Derrybrian.



Not a bit.

Oh! Sure and ya must be Darrin,
or my name isn't Gerry O'Toole.

Gerry? For Geraldine.

Oh, it's a darlin'
home you have.

A darlin' home. Thank you.

So you're Darrin. Your great aunt
told me what a darlin' man you were.

Aw, she only said
that because it's true.

What? Oh, yeah.

She's got a great sense
of humor. She's a darlin'.

Uh, how about a cup of tea?

Oh, no, no. I don't want you to
go to any trouble on my account.

- Oh, it's no trouble.
- I'll not be a burden to ya.

I want to be treated just like
one of the family durin' my stay.

Oh, well, now, Gerry, a
cup of tea certainly isn't...



Uh, how long are you
going to be able to stay?

- Well, just till I get started.
- Started with what?

Well, the first thing I'd best
be doin' is finding myself a job.

What sort of work
do you do, Gerry?

Well, if I do say so myself,
I'm pretty good at weaving.

Maybe I can find you
something in the garment industry.

Or you might even get a
job as a model. A model!

Aw, sure and you're playin'
games with me. Isn't he?

Not yet.

[Yowling]

Y-Y-You don't have a cat
here in the house, do ya?

- That's the baby.
- The baby.

Well, ain't that darlin'?

- You don't like cats?
- That I don't...

The way they're always sneakin' around
and jumpin' at ya when you least expect it.

Honey, while you're taking care of the
baby, I'll show Gerry to the guest room.

Oh, that's a marvelous idea. While
Darrin's taking care of the baby,

I'll show you to the guest room.

Mmm, I must say, Samantha, it was
a wonderful dinner. Thank you, Gerry.

Honey, you can't fix
that. The hole's this big.

Well, I can always make another
sleeveless sweater out of it.

It's too late. Too late?

I'm afraid I mended
it before dinner.

Let me see, honey.

Why, that's about the best
reweaving job I ever saw!

Yes, it's most unusual.

Oh, my! What a lovely
garden you have out there.

W-Would you be a
darlin' and show it to me?

Well, sure. Come on, honey.

No, you two darlings go ahead.

Well, I've heard of being handy
with a needle, but this is ridiculous.

And what's even more ridiculous
is your gullibility, my dear.

Did you ever see a human
who could do weaving like that?

But Mother, Gerry's a
friend of Darrin's great aunt.

If she is, I'm his great uncle.

You mean she's one of us? No.

Just think a minute.

Hates cats?

Ooh! A wood nymph!

And there's only one thing a
wood nymph hates worse than a cat,

and that's...
[Together] A witch.

Yes. Well, I wonder
what she wants.

I don't know, but
you'd better find out.

[Gerry Giggling] And fast!

Bye!

Oh, Samantha, it's a lovely garden
ya have. Well, thank you, Gerry.

Oh, darling, I thought I heard the
baby. Would you mind taking a peek?

Sure, honey. Maybe Gerry'd
like to watch a little television.

I have some other
entertainment in mind. Well, good!

All right, you. What
do you want here?

Why, whatever do ya mean?
You're a wood nymph, aren't you?

[Sighs] Right ya are. That I am.

And I don't mind tellin' ya it's a
great relief to be gettin' it off me chest.

Well, I mean, the burden
that I been carryin'... Hold it!

Never mind the blarney. I want
to know what you're doing here!

Oh. Well,

as you must know, it's
the work of a wood nymph...

to bless the homes of all
the true sons of the old sod.

And me... I've been takin' care
of Darrin's family for centuries.

And that's why I come.

We've been in this house for over
two years. What took you so long?

Well, we are a bit
behind in the schedule.

I mean, especially
with the immigrants.

The fact that I'm married to
Darrin doesn't bother you?

You mean because you're a
witch? Oh, no. Of course not.

That's all changed now.

It's, uh, forgive and forget.
That's our feelin's now.

Really? Well, I'm surprised
Mother didn't know about that.

[Endora] That's only
because it isn't true.

It's not? Now, look here, Woody.

[Darrin] Baby's okay,
honey. Oh, dear.

She's as snug as a...

Sorry I had to put you in the deep freeze,
darling, but we have to thrash this out.

All right. Now,
I want the truth.

[Cats Meowing] [Yelps]

If you don't tell me
why you're really here,

I'll let them in. No,
no. Don't be doin' that.

Will you tell me the truth?
Yes, yes! Don't let them in!

- [Meowing Stops]
- Well?

It's the curse of Killcarney
County that's brought me here.

The curse of what?
Killcarney County.

That was the manor
house of Darrin the Bold.

He was an ancestor
to your Darrin,

and he lived in
the 15th century.

Well, what did
Darrin the Bold do?

He slew Rufus the
Red, that's what he did.

He was a darlin' man
and a good friend...

The way he'd always
leave little bits of food

out on the doorstep so
we'd never go hungry.

And when Darrin slew him, we put a
curse on him and on all his descendants.

- So now you know.
- But that's not fair!

My Darrin didn't have
anything to do with it.

Well, I know that,
but a curse is a curse,

and I shouldn't have to be
tellin' the likes of you that.

Oh!

Mother! Mother, you're
going to have to do something!

Oh, Samantha,
please don't carry on so.

It's embarrassing and human.

Now, actually, he just might
survive this curse, you know?

Suppose he doesn't. Well,
we can't fight progress.

Mother! Now, I choose to
believe that you're joking,

but whether you are or not, I am
not going to take this lying down.

N-Now, do you remember when all
this happened... the exact date, I mean?

Sure I do. It's
burned in me memory.

Why, we even made
up a poem about it:

"'Twas the 12th of
Michaelmas in '72...

when Darrin the Bold
our Rufus did slew."

It was a better rhyme
in the 15th century.

Yes. Uh, well,

a-a-all right, how about
a temporary truce?

Well, I, uh... You've
waited 500 years.

Now, a few hours can't
make any difference.

I don't think...
[Imitates Cat Hissing]

All right, all right! Mother?

What? I'd like to
speak to you in private...

as soon as I get him
back in circulation.

Bug in a rug.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, sure.

Would you like to watch a little

television? There's a
good movie on tonight.

Oh, what is it? The
Cat and the Canary.

Why don't we just sit
down and have a little chat?

Well, that suits me.

Samantha, you can't be serious.

Oh, but, Mother,
it's the only way.

"Undo the Deed"
is the only way! No!

Oh, Mother, please
let's try "Undo the Deed."

I wish you'd stop referring to it as
if it were some sort of parlor game,

instead of one of the most
dangerous of all practices!

If I can go back to the 15th
century, I can stop Darrin the Bold...

from killing Rufus the Red,
and the curse will be removed!

You don't realize
how risky it is!

Once you go back in time, you
won't be able to use your witchcraft.

I know. You'll have
only your wits to rely on.

Well, I realize it's a risk, but
that's a chance I'll have to take.

Oh, Samantha, I
cannot let you do it!

Mother, somebody has to go back to
the 15th century to save Darrin's life.

You wanna do it?

Samantha,

get ready for takeoff.

To undo the deed
that once was done,

to now undo the
deed that's done.

Into the past the days do run.

We seek the day
the deed was done!

[Samantha] Take care of
the baby, Mama, and Darrin.

I think Donald is being
well taken care of.

[Laughing]

Oh, you're beautiful,
baby! Oh, you're marvelous!

[Girl] Sire!

- Ah, this is good,
but you're better.
- Sire!

[Laughing] Oh, please, sire. I
have to finish me work upstairs.

Not until you finish
your work downstairs!

[Clears Throat]

Well.

Your tankard of ale, sire.

- And what is your name,
lass?
- Samantha, sire.

Samantha! Oh, that's a
lovely name. It's lovely, lovely.

Upstairs, wench,
and finish your work!

Tell me something, girl.

Aye?

How is it that the likes of
you has escaped me notice...

when there's a light about you
that shines forth like a beacon at sea,

and your hair all
golden round your head,

and your eyes sending
out an invitation...

to any man who has eyes
for a girl with spirit and fire?

How's that again? Where've
you been all me life?

[Yelps] I was a-waiting for
you to come to Killcarney.

My name is Darrin the Bold.

Well, sure and I
didn't think you were

Darrin the Meek. I
dearly love a saucy lass.

Oh, the beauty of you
takes my breath away.

You are a knockout.

[Chuckling]

Oh, if it's taming you want,
you came to the right place.

I-I-If you'll excuse me, sire, I have to
get back to me duties in the kitchen.

Oh, but a lass like you shouldn't
be slaving away in the kitchen.

You're much too pretty for that.

How would you like to
move up in the world?

Move up? I want you at me side.

Oh, well, thank you, sire.

But I'm not thinking
of marriage right now.

Neither am I. I'm thinking of
making you the upstairs maid,

you little vixen, you! [Yelps]

Don't be afraid of me, lass!

Don't be afraid of me, Darrin!

I'm not afraid. I'm not
afraid. Where is everybody?

Your wife's away on
an emergency. Where?

Oh, I'm that sorry.
Did I hurt you, sire?

Me, Darrin the Bold, who's faced
the fierceness of the Norman foe...

and taken the measure of the murthering
English, hurt by a frail lass like you?

[Laughs, Groans] Oh, you
don't know your own strength, girl.

A noble lord waits without
and would speak with you, sire.

Let him enter!

Enter!

I am Rufus the Red.

I am Darrin the Bold.

I would set up me camp
in your fields for the night.

You may do so. You will provide grain
for the horses and food for my men?

- If you pay.
- A guest does not pay.

- A guest is invited.
- I do not pay!

I do not give!

Pay! Give!

You've got a great deal
to learn about chivalry, sir.

Do you prefer to duel
on foot or mounted?

On foot... that way you'll
be closer to your grave.

At my camp? Within the hour.

So be it.

Come! Sire, I
must speak with ye.

What is it, lass?

In private. Oh,
in private it is.

I'll see you in my room... anon.

But-But... Anon!

[Grunting]

[Chuckles]

Who goes there? 'Tis I.

Ah, you belong to
Darrin, do you not?

I belong to no man.

Well, now, come in, come in.

And what can I do for you, lass?

Would you put your
wee boot on that, sire?

Height, six-three. Well,
what are you doin'?

Oh, don't pay any
attention to me.

Waist, 36.

Now, place your arms so,
sire. Now breathe in. [Inhales]

Now out. [Exhales]

Hmm. Will you tell
me what you're doin'?

First, what do you weigh?

Thirteen stone eight, but...

Oh, no doubt about it. I'm
going to need a very sturdy cloth.

What are you
talkin' about, lass?

Well, would you believe it?

The last few souls that
challenged his master...

came right through the shrouds.
Shroud? You're measuring me for a shroud?

Ooh, there's not a
thing to worry about, sire.

I'm the best shroud-maker
in the country.

And you work for Darrin the
Bold? Only for the master, sire.

Why, there aren't enough
hours in the day or the night...

for me to make all the
shrouds I have to make.

He keeps you that busy?

Well, I'm not sure
about that, sire.

Perhaps it would be
fairer to say that the men

who challenge the
master keep me that busy.

Just last month, he...

Well, come in, lass, come in.

Please, sire, I've come to speak to
you on a matter of grave importance.

Go ahead, lass, I'm listenin'.

Ow!

Somehow I'm gettin' the
feelin' that I don't appeal to you.

Oh, no, no, sire.
I really like ye.

It's just that... I'm shy.

If you were any shyer, I'd
be bruised from head to toe.

What is this matter
of grave importance?

Well, I just happened to be walkin'
by the camp of Rufus the Red,

and I overheard
some of his men talkin'.

Now, whatever you do,
don't fight Rufus on foot.

He's killed over a
hundred men that way.

Bah, a hundred men...

A hundred men, you say? Aye.

Why do you think they
call him Rufus the Red?

Not because of his hair?

Because of... [Slashing Sound]

Perhaps it would be wiser
if I fought him mounted.

It would be, except that he's
killed even more men on horseback.

If I were you, I'd try some other
way. What other way is there?

Well, how about a
nice wrestlin' match?

You seem to be
very good at that.

[Knocking] Enter!

Oh, Muldoon, it's not time for
the duel yet. There's no rush.

- There's no duel, sire.
- There's not?

Why not?

Rufus the Red has sent men to
pay for the food and grain they need.

You don't say.
Oh, that's terrific!

I mean, the saints be praised.

So the snivelin' coward
backed out of the duel, eh?

Yes. But if you want to
go ahead with it, sire...

No!

After all, the man is my guest.

Yes, sire.

[Door Slams]

I'm wonderin' what made
Rufus change his mind.

Well, sire,

maybe he heard what
a brave fighter you are...

and all the great
battles you've won...

and the fierce dragons
that you've killed.

Aye, that would
strike fear in...

What dragons? I
never fought a dragon.

You haven't? No.

Not that I can remember.

Oh. Well, I wouldn't
mention that to Rufus.

He somehow got the
impression you hold the

world's record for dragon
slewing... uh, slaying.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
sire, me work here is finished.

Oh, no, it's not. Mother!

I knew the lass had
spirit, but this is ridiculous!

Oh, Darrin... Oh!
Are ya all right?

Oh, me poor darlin'.

[Darrin] I really fell head over
heels, didn't I? Oh, it's all my fault.

Oh, no, you tried to warn me.

Oh, look, Gerry...
Gerry... Gerry, please.

I think I better tell you something.
I'm very much in love with my wife,

and if you don't stop
chasing me around, I'll

be on crutches by the
time Samantha gets back.

Well, well.

When the cat's away, the mouse
will play, won't she? Or try to.

Well, I-I-I... I was just trying to
give a bit of comfort to the poor man.

Sure you were.

Well, Gerry, me darlin', you'll be
happy to know that you can leave now.

I've undone the killing
of Rufus the Red, and

the curse on Darrin
Stephens has been lifted.

I don't believe you.

Well, go home. You'll find out.

I'm not budging till I
have positive proof.

- How else can I prove it?
- That'll not be
a problem of mine.

Well, if you won't go back,
there's only one thing I can do.

Mother? Yes, dear?

She wants positive
proof. You shall have it.

[Thunderclap]

- Rufus, me darlin'!
- Gerry, my love!

Oh, Samantha, I want
you to meet a darlin' man,

the love of my
life, Rufus the Red.

- We've sort of met.
- [Darrin] Is that you, Samantha?

Oh, dear. Uh, yes, Darrin.

Don't tell me he's here.

I'd hate to have to explain
all this, so, if you don't mind...

Ah, not in the least.

Ah! Oh, it's happy
indeed you've made me.

Come, darlin'.
Good-bye, Samantha.

[Gerry] You're a love!

Hi. Hi!

Did you miss me?
Mmm, I sure did.

With someone like Gerry
to keep you company?

Oh, come on. She's awful pretty.

But Sam, she's too aggressive. She's
going to have trouble getting a man.

Oh, I don't think so.

By the way, she told
me to tell you good-bye.

She left? How come?

Well, you might say she,
um, got her old job back.

Good. Anyway, I'm glad
to see you. [Chuckles]

Darrin? Hmm?

Have you ever thought
of growing a mustache?

No.