Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Moment of Truth - full transcript

Hey. Pay attention.

Here, you want a
little bite? Want some?

Well, let me stir it for you.
Wait a minute. Come on.

Here, you want some
cereal? Ooh, it's good.

You want a taste? Taste.

Okay. There ya go.

No. No, sweetheart. Mommy
doesn't want you to do that.

Remember? Mustn't twitch. Hi.

At least not until I've had a
chance to tell Daddy that you're a...

[Stammering] I-I-I mean,
that you have the power to...

That you can do witchcraft.



Hi.

And I'm going to tell him tonight,
while we're celebrating our anniversary,

and he's in a good mood,
just at the right time...

when the lights are low, and we're in
a restaurant where he can't scream,

and there's a nearby exit.

Oh, no! Oh, Tabatha, please!

Sweetheart, baby, angel?

Listen, Tab, stop
fooling around.

What was she doing? [Stammers]

[Laughing] Honey, you're not trying
to get her to use a fork, are you?

I know she's smart, but don't you
think you're pushing her a little too fast?

Well, no, darling. As a matter of
fact, I'm trying to slow her down.

Well, I know she's as smart...

and as pretty and as
devastating as her mother.



Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.

Oh, darling.

Now, Darrin, I love you.

I love you very, very much.

And nothing, absolutely
nothing, can change my love.

Well, swell, honey, but
what brought that on?

Um, well, it's just that I think things
like that ought to be said every so often,

like now, and, uh...
[Tabatha Gurgles]

later on tonight.

Okay.

[Woman] Whoo-hoo-ooo!

Samantha! Coming, Aunt Clara.

Whoo-ooo! Aunt
Cla... Aunt Clara?

Whoo-ooo! Whoo-ooo!

Aunt Clara!

By parachute?

Yes. I thought this
time I'd drop in quietly.

Well, Aunt Clara, let's
go up to the guest room.

Oh, I'm so pleased
to sit with Tabatha...

while you and Darrin are celebrating.
Well, we're pleased to have you.

I've got to do some
shopping and meet

Darrin, but I'll be back
before she wakes up.

And if she does wake up,
I'll tell her you were here.

Here we are, here
we are. [Chuckles]

Now, isn't that nice? Nice crackers.
Eat your cracker, dear. Eat...

Oh, no more play.

Oh. [Chuckles]

Well, now the crackers.
Now, eat, eat, eat, eat.

What a sweetie! ♪♪ [Humming]

Oh, Clara, you're not
what you used to be.

[Banging]

Oh, Aunt Clara.

Hmm. Hmm.

Not only have you
lost your old pizzazz,

but you've thrown
everything out of gear!

[Clara Moaning,
Weeping] Oh, oh, dear.

Aunt Clara?

Oh. Aunt Clara,
what's the matter?

Oh, everything. My magic.

Whenever I wave at a chair,

all the pots and pans start
flying all over the place.

Oh, you poor dear.

Um, Aunt Clara, has, uh,

Tabatha been giving
you any trouble?

- Tabatha? Oh, no.
- You sure about that?

Oh, I'm positive. No, it's me.

Perhaps you haven't noticed,

but lately... I've
made a lot of mistakes.

- You have?
- Yes, I have. Now, don't tell Darrin.

Oh, no. I wouldn't think of it.

But when you can't seem
to, um, zero in on anything,

and your coordination
is just about...

shot, well, you
might as well face it.

Face what?

Face having a checkup.

I'm sure that's all you need.
You're just a little overtired, that's all.

A little rest, and you'll
be as good as new.

Yes, but you've been counting on
me for your anniversary, and... Oh, no.

No, no, Aunt Clara.
You're my favorite aunt,

and your health means
more to me than anything.

So, come on, get up. Up,
up. Come on, come on.

Now, you just go home and
take good care of yourself.

Hmm?

Well, I will. Oh, good.

Now, uh, just, um,

assist me on the
takeoff, will you?

Oh, yes, of course.
Go on. Go on. Oh-oh!

Oh, dear.

Go on, bag. Go on,
brolly, back to Aunt Clara.

Good.

Is everything all
right? Well, Aunt Clara

wasn't feeling too
well, so I sent her home.

I hope it's nothing serious. I don't
think so, but just to be on the safe side.

Well, so much for our
anniversary celebration.

Aw. I guess it is a
little late to get a sitter.

I could call Mother. She'd
love to come. Uh, never mind.

Well, why don't we just have
the Tates over here? Good idea!

Larry loves to celebrate things.

Yeah, he celebrates any
day of the week with a "Y" in it.

[Both Chuckle]

And a little bubbly for Louise.

Here we go.

Here's to the
Stephenses. I'll buy that.

Hold it!

The happiest couple on the
face of the good old Earth.

Larry, what about us?

The happiest couple on the
face of the good old Earth.

A bright guy, a lovely
wife, a beautiful baby...

and a kind and
understanding boss.

Why shouldn't they
be happy? Cheers!

- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- [Louise] Cheers.

Mmm. Nice champagne, huh?

Mm-hmm. Marvelous.
Wonderful, Larry. Great.

Larry, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Sam! I
thought there was an ashtray there.

Oh, w-well, that's
all right, Larry.

We were gonna throw
that table out anyhow.

[Chuckles] That's
very nice of you.

Here, I'll give you another,
uh... I don't know what happened.

I'm so sorry. It's okay, Louise.
It could happen to anybody.

Don't worry about it, Larry.
I'm really terribly sorry, Sam.

Care for some more, Sam?
Hmm? Oh, thank you, Larry.

You know, this is marvelous
caviar, Samantha. Louise, here we go.

Darrin, pass me
your glass. Mm-hmm.

Aha! [Chuckles]

Squeeze it, Larry! Squeeze it!

Well, one down, two to go.
Time to bring up the reserves.

I'll get another bottle. I
brought it, and I'll get it.

[Banging, Rattling]

[Laughing] Wow!

Larry, what happened?

Well, the cork blew out
and knocked the pot off,

and the pot knocked the
empty bottle over, and, well...

It could happen to anyone.
Sure, that makes a lot of sense.

Okay, you want another
explanation? I'm clumsy. So...

Aw, well, don't worry,
Larry. Nothing was broken.

Why don't you take the
champagne into the living room? Oh.

I'll drive. But, Officer, I
only had a couple of beers.

Larry's in a great mood tonight.

Sam?

How did that happen? Uh, well...

Could somebody be trying to spoil
our anniversary, like your mother?

Oh, no. Oh, no,
darling. I don't think so.

If mother wanted to spoil the party,
it would be raining in the living room.

Then what else could it be?

Well, Aunt Clara's spells haven't
been working too well lately.

She's rather worried about them.

You mean, some of them might have
a delayed reaction, like a time bomb?

Could be. Oh, great.

I hope nothing happens in
front of the Tates. Me too.

[Larry] Come on, kiddies!
Get it while it's bubbly!

Come on, darling. Everything
will be all right. Come on. All right.

So, on that tough 15th hole,

I chipped right onto the green and
into the cup, and you know what I said?

Yes. You said... Please, Louise.

I said, "It's a birdie, it's
plain, I'm Superman!"

Uh, maybe you don't get it. You
see, it's kind of funny because I said...

[Louise] Oh, we got it, Larry.
It just isn't worth repeating.

Excuse me! Darrin.

I'm, uh, glad we didn't
go out this evening,

and I hereby invite both of
you over to our 50th anniversary.

Why, thanks, Darrin. That's very nice,
but you'll have to clear it with Louise.

I have a feeling that we have
something else on that night.

Let's drink to it anyway.

[Sputtering] Ex-Excuse
me. I'll be right back.

What's the matter with them?

Oh, now, Tabatha, you simply
have to learn to control yourself.

Uh, you see, sweetheart,
your daddy would...

Not Endora.

Not Aunt Clara?

Hi.

Wh-Who else then?

It's not, uh... Not,
um, what's-her-name.

She's-She's just a
baby. It's not possible.

Darrin, you always
knew it was possible.

Oh, yeah, I've always
known it was possible,

I just didn't think
it was possible.

I mean, a whole
year and not a sign.

I mean, after a year
you get a feeling of...

a-a-a false sense of security.
You feel that you're home free.

- Daddy.
- You think it's awful.

No, I don't think it's awful.
It's not awful. It's just sort of...

Well, it-it's
surprising, astounding.

Shocking, is what it is.
That's what it is. It's shocking!

- And you think it's awful.
- Quit saying that!

Well, Darrin, I don't blame you.

I knew you'd feel this way. I
told myself. I was prepared.

- Oh, honey, wait a minute.
- Oh, Darrin, I'm sorry.

I mean, I know how
you feel about witchcraft,

and, well, I was just waiting for the
right time to tell you about Tabatha,

but I guess she decided
to tell you for herself.

My daughter's a witch.

Sam, I've got to know.
How much of a witch is she?

Well... Hi.

She doesn't really
know what she's doing.

It's all sort of involuntary.

She wants something,
and she gets it.

She doesn't realize
it's a special power.

What are we gonna do?

Well, we'll just do what
any parents of a child...

with a special ability
or a talent would do.

We'll just teach her how
to use that talent wisely.

- How do we do that?
- Oh, well, Darrin, don't worry.

Any baby that can be potty-trained
can be witchcraft-trained.

- Uh.
- Funny Daddy.

[Larry] Hey, up there.
Remember us? Tate's the name.

- Uh, we'll be right down.
- Sam, we gotta get them outta
here before...

Before they see something
happening and start asking questions.

We sure do.

Now, Tabatha, you lie
down and go to sleep.

Hmm?

And be good.

Otherwise, we may be in
for some difficult moments.

Huh?

[Louise] Problems?

Oh, no, nothing unusual
for a baby of her... age.

Anything I can do to
help? Oh, no, thank

you, Louise. She just
doesn't want to sleep.

Oh, let me try. I have my
own way. I'll sing to her.

Uh, no, no! Why not?

It works like a charm. With her voice,
the kids fall asleep in self-defense.

It just might stimulate her too
much, and she'd be up all night.

Right. So let's all sit down,
relax, and make an evening of it.

Ah, not for me, Larry.

But it's your anniversary, boy!

I know, but, um,

we have that conference
tomorrow morning.

Hey, the conference!
That's right!

We gotta get up bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed...

the day after tomorrow, because
that's when the conference is.

I thought it was tomorrow.

That's what I like about
this boy... he's eager.

Now, drink up. That's an order.

Finish your drink, Larry. I
think we better be going.

Must you? Well, if
you really have to.

No, we don't have to, and we're
not going to, so, sit down, everybody.

[Banging] That Tabatha's developed
into quite a musician, hasn't she?

Our Jonathan went through
that phase... don't you remember?

[Quietly] Can't you do something?
Yes, but it'll have to be...

At this stage of the game,
anything. First, Tabatha.

Mm-hmm.

[Banging Noise Stops]

- Hey, she stopped.
- So she did.

Well, now that she's through making
noise, why don't we make some?

Happy Thursday! [Laughs]

Don't say it, Louise.
Don't say it. I will too.

You're acting like a
child, and you've had

enough champagne. I
am not acting like a child.

I'll get a towel. I will too.

No, now, Larry, you
just sit right back.

Don't worry. Everything's
going to be fine.

I assure you I am in full
possession of all my faculties!

What are you going to do? Well,
with a little help from me and Louise,

Larry's gonna be convinced he's
had enough, and it's time for beddy-bye.

Lovely.

Please, Larry, take it easy.

Louise, my love, you can't possibly
think I've had too much champagne.

Samantha, Louise thinks I'm
getting splashed. Do you think I am?

Well, uh...

You're kidding! On
four glasses of this stuff?

You've had six,
but who's counting?

W-Well, even six
glasses... Big deal!

Oh, well, don't worry, Larry. We
love to see you enjoying yourself.

You-You really think I'm getting
smashed. Darrin, back me up.

Larry, it's okay. Like Samantha says,
we like to see you enjoying yourself.

Okay. I demand a sobriety test.

[Chuckling] Larry, that
won't be necessary.

- Just try saying
"chrysanthemum."
- [Larry Laughs]

That's easy.

"Chrysanthenum."

"Chryscrustenum."

"Chrysmanth..."

Oh, daffodil. I can't even say it
when I'm sober. Doesn't prove a thing.

Now, give me something
else. Well, if you insist.

Um, how 'bout the
equilibrium test?

You know, you close
your eyes and try to

touch your nose with
your fingers like this.

All right. Watch me.

Taxi!

Now-Now, w-wait a minute!
Th-That's just a family weakness.

Yes, I know, dear. Now,
if I buy you a blanket,

will you promise not
to suck your thumb?

Oh, now, Louise, don't worry.

We love Larry. We don't mind.

I demand another test!

Well, all right, Larry. What
would you like to do for us?

Uh, pick a straight line,
anywhere, and I'll walk it for you.

Why don't you walk
from where you spilled

the champagne to where
you burned the table?

Thank you, Darrin.
You're a wonderful host.

All right. I'll pick
my own line.

Right over here. [Chuckles]

I'll walk from, uh,
here... to the bar.

Okay.

Larry! Larry!

Is that you, Louise? Um,
yes. Mm-hmm, bubbie.

Are Darrin and Sam
still here? Mm-hmm.

Would you say "good night" to them
for me, please? Yes, bubbie. Come on.

Up we go. Good night,
everyone. There ya go, Larry.

And happy anniversary.

Thank you, Louise.
Come on. That's it.

Good night, Larry. Good night,
Louise. Good night, Larry, Louise.

Good night!

Phew! A couple more minutes of that,
and Larry would have taken the pledge.

Oh, Darrin, maybe I was a little
hard on him. Don't worry about Larry.

By tomorrow he'll be telling the
story, and he'll be the hero. [Chuckles]

A one-year-old baby turning
the house upside-down.

Now, if Aunt Clara would
have done that, I... [Gasps]

What? Ooh, Aunt Clara.

I've got to tell her before she
convinces herself she's seriously ill.

You do that on your own. I
think I'm going to lie down.

Aunt Clara, I have to see you...

right here!

That was a smooth landing.

Thank you, dear. You're welcome.

Aunt Clara, there's
something I have to tell you.

You know all those things
that were happening?

No, no, no, now, dear.
The pots and the pans and...

Well, Aunt Clara, it wasn't you.

No, it wasn't you. It
wasn't you. It was Tabatha.

No. Yes.

No, not really. Yes, really.

Sure, "really." What
isn't "really" in this house?

Well.

Well, the little imp! [Giggles]

Oh! [Chuckles]

Oh, dear. I'm feeling wonderful.

For you, dear, your anniversary,

and congratulations.

Oh, thank you, Aunt Clara.

Our family's first little
witch of her generation.

Isn't it marvelous? Everybody in the
family will soon be popping in to see her.

Oh, I must spread the news.

"Everybody in the fam..." Sam!

Well, darling, I-I
wouldn't worry.

I'm sure she just means
the immediate family.

That's a lot of consolation.

Just what's the
matter with my family?

How much time do you have?

Never mind.

Oh, my. Now, Tabatha,

I know it's been a big day,

but now it's time for sleep,
and I mean it, uh-huh.

Darling, she'll be
sort of experimenting

with her powers... you
know, trying them out?

She sure seems just
like any other baby.

Well, she is, except for...

You tell her. Okay.

Tabatha, mustn't... Mustn't...

Good. Good. That ought to do it.

You really think so?

Well, of course. You told her.

Well, that didn't always
work with her mother.

Oh. Uh-Uh...

Oh, Darrin, do you mind awfully?

Well, I've been giving
that a lot of thought. And?

It's been wonderful living
with one beautiful witch.

It'll be twice as
wonderful living with two.