Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 2, Episode 7 - Trick or Treat - full transcript

Despite it being Halloween, a day when witches are demonized, Samantha refuses to go into hiding with Endora. Samantha understands that Halloween is the "worse" in the "better of worse" of her wedding vows, but she also knows that Darrin respects her and doesn't want to perpetuate the negative stereotype. But all the trust the Darrin has built with Samantha on the issue may go out the window when Larry sends Samantha some typical Halloween decorations for their small dinner party that evening with clients, Jack and Phyllis Rogers, those decorations part of Rogers' product line. Feeling like Darrin has corrupted Samantha, Endora, just prior to the dinner party and disguised as a young girl trick or treater, places a spell on Darrin slowly turning him into a werewolf. With razor and nail clippers in hand, Darrin has to try and keep up with the shaving and clipping as the rapid hair and nail growth continues while not letting on to their guests what's going on, as Samantha tries to convince a "spell forgetful" young Endora to reverse the spell. But Darrin being a werewolf on Halloween may have unintended consequences.

Wake up.

Wake up, Samantha.
This is the day.

Mother, what...?

It's 5:00 in the morning.

Well, I wanted to give you time
to pack your bags.

What are you talking about?

I've let you have your own way
a good deal since you were married...

but this is the one time
you'll do as I say.

- Oh, Mother.
- You owe it to your past.

I'll be back in four hours,
and then we'll start on our journey.

Would you mind telling me
what this is all about?



This is the black day for us,
Samantha.

This is Halloween.

What's the matter, honey?
Did you have a bad dream?

No.

I'm just starting one.

Why aren't you ready to leave?

I am not going to the sacred volcano
with you, Mother.

I'm not going to have you stay
and be hurt by all those children...

dressed like old crones.

I'm not going to leave Darrin.
Besides, we're having company.

You're having a party
on Halloween?

It isn't a party. We're having the Tates
and a client and his wife for dinner.

You're actually taking part
in their barbaric customs.

Mother, when I married Darrin,
it was for better or for worse.



Halloween is part of the worse.

I never thought I'd see a daughter
of mine condoning bigotry.

I don't condone it.

Anyway, Darrin is not bigoted.

He understands
my problem perfectly.

Excuse me.

Parcel for Mrs. Stephens.
Sign here, please.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

You see. I told you
Darrin understood.

He knew I was upset,
and he sent me a gift.

Oh, Mother,
I wish you'd believe me.

Darrin is really a sweet,
sensitive man.

What will we turn him into?

A tadpole or an iguana?

Darrin wouldn't do this.

He just wouldn't.

There must be some explanation.

Maybe we should turn him
into a centipede...

and have him trip
and break all his legs.

Wouldn't that be marvellous?

Well, that wouldn't solve anything.

The reason our marriage
is a success...

is because we don't give in
to illogical emotion.

We discuss our problems
calmly and rationally...

and solve them like
two mature adults who realize...

Darrin, how could you do this?

Honey, I don't know a thing
about witches' hats.

- Darrin?
- Wait a minute, honey.

- What?
- I sent them.

What?

It's a line of party favours that
Jack Rogers' company makes.

Since he's coming
to your house tonight...

- Larry, how could you do that?
- What?

What are you trying to do, ruin my
marriage, tear down everything?

How can a few little
witches' hats do that?

They're obscene. We wouldn't
have them in the house.

- Witches' hats?
- Yes, witches' hats!

Besides, Sam doesn't like them.

They don't go in with her
decorating scheme.

Honey?

Try not to be upset.

Well, don't pay
any attention to them.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

Okay, sweetheart.

Bye.

Well?

We're going to talk about it later.

Well, the time for talk is over.

Mother.

Good.

I stopped all your calls
for a few minutes.

What do you want?

I want Samantha to come with me
to the sacred volcano.

Samantha is not going to be taking
any trips in her condition, so...

- The sacred what?
- Volcano.

We go there on Halloween.

Endora, if you think I'm gonna let
Sam participate in some weird rites...!

We do not have any weird rites.

Well, Sam and I have worked
things out for ourselves.

We're doing very nicely.
Thank you.

I'm sure you are.

- You've corrupted my daughter.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.

If you'll excuse me,
I have some things to do, Endora.

All right.

That does it.

Get out.

All right.

You may not have anything to do,
but I have a meeting.

- You're not going anywhere.
- I'm not going anywhere?

I'm not going anywhere.
Will you stop that?

Look, all I want you to do...

is to tell Samantha
she can go with me.

And I won't play the game
according to your rules.

- Now, let me go.
- Let Samantha go.

- Absolutely not.
- All right.

I've tried to be nice to you.

Have a good time tonight, Darwin.

You have a good time too.

I hope the volcano erupts.

I hope they're on time.

If they can get pass those
trick-or-treaters...

they'll be here any minute.

Well, the kids should be
going to bed pretty soon.

Sweetheart,
I'm a little worried about Mother.

From what you told me, you were
pretty firm with her this afternoon.

Relax. It's the only way
to handle her.

You have to stand your ground.

There they...

Sorry, honey.

Trick or treat.

There you are.

One for you and for you.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.

Hey, look, I got some pretzels.

- Trick or treat.
- Don't push me, little boy.

Aren't you gonna give us anything?

More than you bargained for
if you don't run along, little fellow.

- We're gonna have to trick you.
- I'm ready if you are.

Abracadabra, you're a tree.

Let's get out of here!

That should hold them.

Well, don't we look pretty.

Cut the small talk.
What do you got?

It looks like junk to me, mister.

I'm sorry, but it's the bag or nothing.

No dice. I'm going
to have to trick you.

Go ahead, trick me.

You're tricked.
You'd better watch out.

I'm not worried.
I've been tricked by experts.

Well, honey, that should be
the last of them.

- Everything's ready.
- Good.

I think I'll go and check the roast.

By the way, did you chill the...?

- Darrin?
- What is it, honey?

Your face.

What about my face?

Well, it's all kind of...

It's all kind of...?

Sam, what's happening?

- Darrin, is this some kind of joke?
- No!

- Well, what did you do?
- What did I...?

I didn't do anything. I went to the door.
There was a little girl there. I...

- Well, what did she do?
- She didn't do anything.

She pointed her finger at me,
and then she mumbled a few words.

"Picket, ficket" or some...

What is it?

- What was she wearing?
- She was wearing a gypsy outfit.

What?

Mother.

And then she turned into a tree.

That's the silliest thing I ever heard.

- Mother.
- Oh, hello, Samantha.

You come into the house right away
and take that spell off Darrin.

What if I don't want to?

You're coming with me
this instant, or I'll...

You'll what?

- I'll spank you!
- You can't talk to your mother like that.

What costumes they have.

The little one was the mother.

Why did you do this to me?

I think he looks charming
with a beard.

Sam.

You...

Somebody do something.
Take this thing off of me.

If Mother put the curse on,
I can't take it off.

Mother, I demand
you remove that curse.

Curse? What curse?

Oh, nothing much.

You're going to be a werewolf.

- If this is your idea of a joke...
- Hardly.

Now, look, Endora, if you...

My hands.

Oh, good. Company.

Just a minute.

I can't let anybody see me like this.

I'll go in the den and concentrate.

- Maybe it will come to me.
- It had better.

Good evening.

Samantha, Phyllis and Jack Rogers.

- How do you do?
- It's nice to meet you.

- It's nice to meet you.
- Well, where's Darrin?

Oh, he'll be right down.

He's upstairs changing.

Into what?

Who knows?

How are you feeling, Samantha?

Marvellous, marvellous.

I remember when we had
our first child.

Yes. Jack Jr.

The miracle of birth.

That inspired our line
of diaper cards.

Jack is so pleased with the way
your husband's handled his account.

The Halloween sales were fantastic.

Decorations up 10 percent,
party favours up 17 percent...

and Bag O'Bones costume,
up 28 percent.

Hi, everybody.

- Hello.
- Hi, darling.

- You all right?
- Oh, I'm fine, sweetheart. Don't worry.

They must be very much in love.
He was only upstairs.

Well...

- Louise, Larry and Jack.
- Hi, Darrin. This is my wife, Phyllis.

How are you, Phyllis?

- What happened to your hand?
- Cut myself shaving.

Larry, will you fix
another round of drinks?

I have something to do in the den.

I'll go help. Excuse me.

Wouldn't leave his side
for a minute. Oh, that's love.

- Did you remember it yet?
- It's not easy.

You know, there are over 7000
combinations of magic words.

Well, try them all.
The hair's growing back.

That might be dangerous.

I did one a minute ago.
A horse, right on the sofa.

If everything else fails,
get the horse back.

I may have to leave in a hurry.

- Mother, please concentrate.
- I'll try, dear.

Jack, what was that
marvellous costume you had...

a couple of years ago?

- You must mean the elephant.
- I think she means the family package.

Oh, yes. The "Togetherness" outfit.

- What was that?
- Well, it was a skyscraper.

Parents on the bottom,
the kids on the top.

I just can't understand
why it didn't sell.

Brilliant concept.

Excu... Excuse me.

Look. Look what's happening.

I'm still trying to remember.

Well, keep trying!

What happens after the nails?

Let me see your teeth.

My teeth?

- Good. No fangs yet.
- Fangs?

You're doing fine. Your ears aren't
even pointed yet. Just your head.

- If you think this is funny...
- Darrin, I feel terrible.

I really do.

Do you think I want my daughter
married to a werewolf?

Well, you keep trying.

I gonna go shave again.

No. I better do it down here.

More coffee anybody?

I'll have some, Samantha.

Where is he?

- Who?
- Darrin.

- Darrin?
- Your husband.

What is it, Sam?
You're acting funny.

Well, I have a lot on my mind.

Rogers is an important account.
This is no time to act funny.

Will you please get Darrin in here?
Tell him to shape up.

Larry, I'm sorry.

Endora?

Endora?

Endora, where are you?

Endora!

Endora, this is no time
to play hide-and-seek!

Endora!

Darrin, you can't keep running
in and out like this.

Well, what am I supposed to do?
Look at this.

And now your mother's gone.
Make some excuse for me.

I've gotta find her
before it's too late.

Darrin, wait!

Oh, my stars.

I'll be honest with you, Larry.

I don't understand Darrin tonight.

Yeah.

He does seem a little edgy.

I don't believe
he wanted us over here.

Hey, you!

Hi, Larry.

- It sounds like a marvellous recipe.
- It certainly does.

But what do you do with
the marshmallows, Samantha?

Bring them to a boil
and add the radishes.

What?

Samantha, is anything the matter?

No, no.

Look what we found
in the back yard.

Hi, everybody. Surprise.

- Darrin?
- Sure, it's Darrin.

Phyllis, will you look at that costume?
I wish I could make one like that.

Darrin, why are you wearing that?

You know what this crazy,
wonderful guy did?

Well, the kids next door
like me to dress up on Halloween.

I can't believe it.
Will you look at that?

That hair almost looks real.

What was that?

Oh, that?

A little noise maker
inside my mouth.

It comes with the costume.

That's my favourite part.
Do it again, darling.

Oh, that's ingenious.

I think it's stuck.

That's the best part.
The kids are crazy about it.

Oh, I wish he'd come and show
that to Jack Jr. Some time.

Oh, that would be a pleasure.

Darrin, Darrin, I think
you'd better change.

Now.

Boy, that's great!

Get away from me, Sam.
I don't know what I'm gonna do next.

- Oh, my stars.
- The closet.

Lock me in the closet.

Lock me in.

Now, you hold on, dear.
I'll go see if I can find Mother.

If I get any worse, call the police.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

Then call the zoo.

Mother, why did you do this?

For a very good reason.

Perhaps, next year Darrin
won't treat Halloween so lightly.

You mean, you knew
the spell all along?

Take it off this minute.

Give me one good reason
why I should.

He's my husband, and I love him.

Well, that's not good enough.
Not this time.

Not until this mortal
has really learned his lesson.

His lesson?

You're just as bad as they are.

At least they have an excuse,
but I thought you knew better.

- What do you...?
- For years you've complained...

about how they make fun of witches.
"We're not like that," you said.

- "We're nice, civilized people."
- But we are.

But now you're acting just like those
ignorant people think a witch acts.

You're behaving exactly
like their stereotype witch.

And you're doing it to the one person
willing to believe we were different.

Well...

I'll say it once and only once.

I was wrong, Samantha.

I'm sorry.

What's going on out there?

Oh, Darrin.

Sweetheart.

Endora, you remembered
the words.

I never forgot them.

She never for...

You never forgot them?

You mean,
this whole thing was a joke?

The hair, the fangs, the claws?

How could you do that?

Simple.

Well, I'm sorry you couldn't come
earlier, Endora.

- It's certainly been nice meeting you.
- Well, thank you very much.

- Yeah, she's loads of fun.
- Oh, yeah.

Darrin, next Halloween I want you
to wear that costume to our house.

Well, we'll have to see about that.

Now don't worry, Larry.
He'll probably be there.

That was a marvellous costume.

Yours too, Endora.

- I beg your pardon?
- That bizarre outfit you're wearing.

And that hairdo.

Jack, your car's waiting.

You were saying, Mr. Rogers?

That's a great outfit you're wearing.

You must have won first prize.

Mother, why don't you help me
with the dishes.

Costume, eh?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Mother.

- Good night, Jack.
- Good night, Darrin.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Happy Halloween.

Oh, yes.

Ta-ta, darlings. See you both soon.