Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 2, Episode 37 - The Girl with the Golden Nose - full transcript
Darrin is feeling sorry for himself as he has not progressed in his career as he would have liked. The latest example is the fact that Larry has told him that he will not be working on the prestigious Waterhouse account. Samantha wants to show Darrin that she believes in him even if he doesn't. But she can have confidence in him since she has learned from Louise that Larry is indeed giving him the Waterhouse account, this news which she isn't to divulge. So when Larry tells him the news, Darrin ultimately believes that Samantha used her witchcraft to get him the account, especially as it would allow him to buy her the mink coat she has had her eye on. His belief is strengthened when everything he wants seems to come his way, even when he tries his hardest to sabotage the situation, leading him to believe that Samantha is looking out for him in everything that he does. Although he is initially angry with what he believes Samantha is doing, he ultimately gives in since he loves her and believes she has been a loving and faithful wife. So when Samantha gets wind of what Darrin believes she's done, Samantha has to find a way to show him that he needs to have faith in himself and in her.
- Good morning, sweetheart.
- Hi.
Still in love with that coat?
What coat?
It's been open to that same page
for the last three days.
Oh, that's the centre page.
It opens there naturally.
- How long for the pancakes?
- Just a few minutes.
Well...
I'll finish getting dressed.
Mother?
Mother, I can't wear this coat.
Yes, you're right, Samantha.
The colour isn't
very becoming to you.
Oh, that's perfect.
Mother.
I know, I know.
I don't understand, but I know.
I will have a mink coat when
Darrin can afford it, and not before.
Well, by the time Darwin can
afford a mink, mink will be extinct.
Now, be honest with yourself,
Samantha.
Wouldn't you adore
to have that coat?
Well...
Wear it in good health.
Mother. You take back this coat.
- Hi.
- Hi.
It's crazy, but I've been looking
at that picture of that mink coat...
for so long, I could've sworn
you were just wearing one.
Darrin...
would you like to tell me
what's bothering you?
I don't know, honey. I...
I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
I've been doing pretty much the
same job for the last three years...
Sweetheart, I think you
accomplished a great deal.
Like what?
Well, look around you. We're
not exactly starving, you know.
Well, honey, I know we have
most of the things we need...
but just having the things you
need isn't everything. I mean...
I'd like to buy you some things
you haven't got.
I've got you.
That's the only thing I really want.
What about that fur coat?
Oh, Darrin, I haven't heard you talk
this way before.
Remember the new account I told you
about? Waterhouse and Company?
The one the agency's
been trying to get for years?
Yes.
Oh, don't tell me you lost it.
No, we got it all right.
The trouble is, I will not be handling it.
Well, did you talk to Larry?
Larry's the one
who told me about it.
Well, I know how you feel.
But maybe...
Well, maybe you're just in too much
of a hurry to get to the top.
Remember, you're still young.
I'm young all right,
but I won't always be young.
If that's Larry,
tell him I'm on my way.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Louise.
Yeah, sure I'd like
to hear some good news.
Larry told you wh...
Darrin's got
the Waterhouse account?
Oh, I can't wait to tell him.
Oh, well, all right. If Larry wants
to tell him himself, I understand.
I won't say a word.
It won't be easy, but I promise.
Oh. Oh, I'd love to.
Yes, I'll do some shopping,
and then I'll meet you for lunch.
Okay. Bye.
- Who was it, honey?
- Louise.
- What are you so happy about?
- She wants me to meet her for lunch.
- Oh, boy. Some life I've given you.
- What do you mean?
A little thing like going out to lunch,
and you're ecstatic.
I'm easy to please.
I'll just go change,
and then I'll drive you to the office.
Honey, I'm a little late.
Only take a minute.
Darrin.
Larry, I want to speak to you
about the Waterhouse account.
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Well, I'm talking to you about it first.
Remember the
Hoffsteddler-Douglas account?
- Yes, but...
- Before I took over...
Hoffsteddler hadn't spoken
to Douglas in 30 years.
- You did a fine job there, Darrin.
- Yes, I did.
And let's not overlook the Michael
Sales Company account.
Before I took charge,
they couldn't give away ice water...
- in the middle of the Mojave Desert.
- A memorable job.
Yes, it was.
And don't change the subject.
Then there was the Pender Drug
account, and Sheridan Cement.
All first class.
And all the others.
I haven't thought about hours or
days off. I've proved my loyalty...
and it's about time you gave me
an unqualified vote of confidence.
Now, Larry, either I get
that Waterhouse account...
- or you get yourself a new boy.
- You got it.
I mean it, Larry.
I've got the Waterhouse account?
That's what I wanted to tell you
when you came in.
Yesterday you said I couldn't have the
account because I was too immature.
What did I do, age overnight?
I just thought it over, and
this morning I changed my mind.
And Darrin, I know
you'll do a great job.
- Good luck.
- Thanks, Larry. You won't be sorry.
I still don't get it.
What made you change your mind?
- Oh, it's the boss' prerogative.
- I'll buy that.
Boy, I can't wait to tell Sam.
I was tempted to tell her myself...
but I knew that you
wanted that pleasure.
Oh, yeah.
When... When did you
see Samantha?
Oh, just now.
Down in the parking lot.
There's a great little wife
you've got there.
Has your every interest at heart.
She sure has. She's got more
confidence in me than I have in my...
Larry, you stopped
and spoke to her?
We chatted a while.
You chatted a while.
Yes.
Larry, I resign from
the Waterhouse account.
You... You resign?
What are you talking about?
I will not accept any job
that my wife got for me.
You got this job because
you're the best man for it.
That's not the point.
Any success I make...
I'm going to make
on my own or not at all.
Samantha. Now, you listen to me.
I have had it with
your magic and spells.
Now be quiet. I'm not finished yet.
I've had it up to here
with all your witchcraft...
turning me into a werewolf, into a
chimpanzee! I'm not through yet, Sam.
Just to prove that I have had it,
I am going to blow this account.
Do you hear me? I'm gonna blow the
account! What do you think of that?
Is this 555-7328?
Look, I'll have to make this fast.
Mr. Waterhouse is outside.
Before you meet him,
I want to brief you...
- I don't need any briefing.
- Darrin, Waterhouse is...
a very conservative man. He's
been making thumbtacks since 1888...
and he doesn't go
for this modern hoopla.
I don't know why he decided to
change agencies and come with us...
but take a tip from me and play
it sincere and conservative.
Betty, would you please ask
Mr. Waterhouse to come in here?
Larry, you just leave
everything to me.
Well, if it isn't old J. P. Waterhouse,
thumbtack king of America.
Stephens is my name
and advertising is my game.
Lay it on me, baby!
Stephens? Is that the name of
the man who's handling my account?
Yes, Mr. Waterhouse.
- This is Darrin Ste...
- You bet your bottom dollar...
I'm your boy. But time's a-wasting.
Let's get down to brass tacks.
Brass tacks!
I got a million of them.
All levity aside, Porterhouse.
Now, I've been looking at your
advertising, and believe me...
some of your ideas
went out with hoop skirts.
I mean, it's " Hey, you,
kid with a wow-wow brush!"
What Darrin means,
Mr. Waterhouse, is that...
some of your ideas could be
brought into better focus...
Oh, no, no, Larry.
Larry, that isn't what I mean at all.
What I mean is, Waterhose, baby,
you gotta get with it.
That TV commercial of yours
where the executive comes in...
and he puts the poster
up on the wall.
Oh, that has got to go. But say...
what if you should take
a cute little secretary...
and she comes
into the boss' office...
and she's putting thumbtacks
in the boss' drawer...
and one of those thumbtacks,
it drops on the boss' chair.
The boss comes in,
and he sits down.
That'll bring the TV viewer
right out of his chair.
- Bring the boss out of his chair too.
- That's enough, Darrin!
Hold it, Tate. I'll talk to this boy.
Young man, you might
as well know it now.
I don't like you.
I don't like your manner, I don't like
your style, I don't like your attitude.
But I do like your ideas.
Stephens, I'm putting next year's
entire campaign in your hands.
- You are?
- Yes.
We've been advertising the same way
for 30 years. It's not working anymore.
That's why I changed agencies...
decided we have to keep things
up-to-date.
Get to work on that campaign
right away.
And remember one thing,
gentlemen...
Waterhouse is my name
and thumbtacks is my game.
He wants me.
Darrin, you must have
somebody watching over you.
Larry, I just learned something.
- When a man can't lose, he can't win.
- Where are you going?
- To a bar, to drown my sorrows.
- Drown your sorrows?
You just landed a big account.
Well, let's just say I'm a sore winner.
Yeah, you came to the right guy
for advice, Darrin.
I'm an expert.
I know everything about marriage.
That's why I'm still single.
I don't get it.
I'm married to a girl who can
have anything in the whole world...
- yet she chose me.
- Take my brother.
He's had four years
of happy marriage.
The trouble is,
he's been married for 16.
She must love me.
Gave up everything for me.
But obviously she misses all
those luxuries. Who can blame her?
It all boils down to the old question.
Is there a life after marriage?
She just didn't wanna
hurt my pride.
Wants me to think
that I'm the breadwinner.
Pretty soon the romance goes.
And, as the song says...
women get weary wearing
the same shabby dress.
Well, then, that's the time to go out
and buy her another shabby dress.
That's why she's doing it this way.
Instead of just wapping up
a million dollars.
I guess I have been selfish...
forcing her to give up her witchhood,
live on my salary.
- Poor little witch.
- You see, the thing to do...
is to try to keep the magic
in your marriage.
I guess I'll just have
to go along with her.
She's been a great wife.
Be my way of saying thanks.
Oh, listen, you're welcome.
Anytime, Darrin, old boy. Anytime.
Oh, Darrin!
Oh, it's... It's beautiful.
Well, you shouldn't have.
Oh, but I'm glad you did.
Well, I can afford it.
Because you got
the Waterhouse account?
You guessed I would, huh?
Well, you deserve it.
It's beautiful.
You like my gift, huh?
Well, Darrin,
you know what they say.
It isn't the gift,
it's the thought that counts.
Oh, yes, of course I like it.
Sam, you could've wapped up
a mink coat anytime you wanted.
Oh, darling, the important thing
is that you gave it to me.
I guess I shouldn't have worried
about getting that account.
After all, you said you had
a strong feeling about it.
I have a strong feeling
about you too.
Sam, what if I hadn't
gotten the account?
Oh, Darrin, I'd feel the same
way if you were a total failure.
But you're not. You're a success.
And you're gonna be
an even bigger success.
- That's love.
- That's confidence.
How about a drink?
Honey, did you ever hear
that old saying:
"Behind every successful man
there's a woman"?
- It does seem to ring a bell.
- Well, they ain't seen nothing yet.
Suddenly I have a tremendous
feeling of power.
Why?
Because nobody ever had
a woman like you behind them.
Thank you.
Wow! Sweetheart, you better
take your umbrella.
I'm sure it'll stop raining
in a few minutes.
It's raining hard.
What makes you think so?
Because I want it to.
- What?
- I mean, I feel it will.
- Have a good day.
- I know I will.
My, you are Mr. Confidence
this morning.
I'm on a winning streak.
Darrin, it stopped.
Maybe you are
on a winning streak.
Honey, there's an old
gambler's expression.
When you're on
a winning streak, ride it.
I'll see you tonight.
"I hope the above suggestions
meet with your approval...
and I anxiously await your reply.
Yours very truly, et cetera, et cetera."
Larry, it's a great day.
I bet if we left now, we could
be on the golf course by noon.
Golf? You out of your mind?
You better start thinking...
- about that Waterhouse account.
- Don't need to. I'm on a lucky streak.
Everything I do turns out all right.
Yeah? Well, I've yet to see
luck replace hard work.
This is a very special lucky streak.
Oh, come off it, Darrin.
There's no such thing.
You want me to prove it?
Let's see.
Betty, would you mind
telling me where you were born?
Why, Minneapolis.
- I bet you weren't.
- I beg your pardon?
I said I bet you weren't
born in Minneapolis.
Mr. Stephens, it's right
on my birth certificate.
Why don't you call up
your mother now and find out.
Darrin, you're being ridiculous.
Would you like to bet me $10?
- Make it $25.
- Good.
- Betty, call your mother.
- I know I was born in...
Come on, Betty.
Sit down. Use my phone.
There is no such thing
as a lucky streak.
Go on, Betty.
Hello, Mom. How are you?
Fine.
Mother, I have to ask you something
that you might find a little strange.
I was born in Minneapolis, wasn't I?
What?
Where?
Why?
Are you sure?
Mom, I know you were there too.
No, I... I'm not distrusting
your word, Mother, I...
Bye.
- Well?
- I was born in Saint Paul.
Well, what about
your birth certificate?
It's wrong.
I was born while Mother
was visiting in Saint Paul...
but the family doctor
was from Minneapolis...
and that's where
he registered my birth.
Twenty-five dollars, Larry.
Mr. Tate, if it's all right with you,
I think I need my lunch break now.
You go right ahead, Betty.
Betty, better take your umbrella.
It's going to rain.
Rain. Come off it, Darrin.
There isn't a cloud in the sky.
Mr. Tate, if it's all the same to you,
I'll take the umbrella.
Good girl.
Now, if you can get your mind
off your lucky streak...
I wanna tell you
the first layout for Waterhouse...
has to be ready by the 15th.
And if I were you...
I'd get started on it right away,
and not trust to luck.
I'll tell you, Sam.
I'm worried about him.
I thought I better tell you
before he got home.
Tell me what?
He's suddenly convinced himself
that he's infallible.
He's been going around
making the craziest bets.
He thinks he has some
sort of strange power.
Well, that doesn't sound like Darrin.
Larry, are you sure
you're not exaggerating?
He just wanted to bet me he could
make the sun come out at midnight.
You're not exaggerating.
When did all this start?
I noticed him behaving strangely...
when I told him he had
the Waterhouse account.
He shouted something about
not having his life run by his wife.
You don't think he's on the verge
of a nervous breakdown?
No. No, no, Larry.
I don't think that's
what he's on the verge of.
Then why is he acting as if
he had a charmed life?
Well, I wouldn't worry
about it if I were you.
I'm sure by tomorrow
he'll be back to normal.
Bye.
He didn't even ask me
if I'd used witchcraft.
He tried me, judged me
and sentenced me...
without even giving me
a chance to defend myself.
It reminds me of
the old days in Salem.
As a matter of fact, he even looks like
the judge who sentenced...
- your poor Aunt Agnes to the stake.
- Oh, Mother.
How could he doubt me?
How could he think he'd gotten
that job through witchcraft?
Please give him credit
for having the sense to realize...
that he didn't get it
because of his brains.
There's only one thing to do.
- Teach him a lesson.
- Excellent.
Now, that is excellent.
Why not turn him into a dinosaur?
Or a salamander?
Or perhaps you...
No. No, mother.
I'm gonna do it my way.
Well, all right, dear.
But don't overlook the dinosaur.
The neighbours might get
quite a kick out of it.
I have a better idea.
- Honey, I'm ho...
- Good evening, sir.
Madam will be down presently.
Samantha! Saman...
- Hi, darling.
- What have you done?
- You noticed, huh?
- Noticed?
How can you miss the Taj Mahal?
Well, Darrin, I'll be honest with you.
I found out that you found out
about my little plan.
Well, you know.
My giving you a charmed life.
- You did, huh?
- Yes.
And it was sweet of you
to go along with it.
Anyway, since you decided
to go along with it...
I thought we might as well be
completely honest with each other. I...
- Two very dry martinis, Charles.
- Right away, madam.
You'll simply adore Charles.
He's in charge
of the rest of the staff.
What staff?
The upstairs maid, the chef
and your valet.
Now, where was I?
We were just being completely
honest with each other.
Yes, of course. Since you
found out about my scheme...
and you didn't seem to have any
objections, I thought it was silly...
to be devious any longer.
That makes sense, doesn't it?
I suppose so.
Good. Now, in the future if we
need anything, I'll just zap it up.
Oh, Darrin, it'll be so marvellous.
I'll be able to give you
anything you want.
Thank you, Charles.
Your dinner clothes
are all laid out for you, sir.
Sir?
All right, sweetheart,
here's to your success.
- What's the matter?
- I can't swallow this.
But Charles makes the best
martinis in the whole world.
No, I mean this.
It's no good, Sam.
I can't live this way.
Look, I sympathize with you
wanting all these things...
but, well, you're gonna have to
make a choice. It's either me or this.
Don't you think you're
being unreasonable?
I will not be helped by witchcraft.
You didn't seem to mind when it
got you the Waterhouse account.
- That was different. I did that for you.
- The Pender Drug account...
- six months ago?
- You got me that too?
And the Cushman Furniture account.
And the carpet account.
Hold it! There's only one thing that
got me that account, and that was me.
I showed them how to increase
their business by 39.2 percent...
in the first fiscal year.
And the Sheridan Cement account.
Sheridan Cement?
There was no witchcraft there.
I knew more about Sheridan
Cement than Sheridan did.
It's about time you found out
there are some things in this world...
like talent, ability and hard work
that will not be replaced by witchcraft.
You forgot one thing.
What?
- Faith.
- Faith?
Faith in the person closest to you.
Faith enough to know that when a
promise is made, it's going to be kept.
You didn't get me
the Waterhouse account?
You didn't stop the rain?
And you didn't change
Betty's birthplace?
I'm not sure, but I
don't even think that's legal.
I thought...
Darrin, all you had to do
was ask me.
One more question.
Could you possibly spend the rest
of your life with a big dumb-head...
who promises never to
jump to conclusions again?
You just talked me into it.
You know, it's amazing how many
things I guessed right yesterday.
You don't suppose I do have
some special power, do you?
Oh, now, Darrin, don't let a few
lucky coincidences go to your head.
You better take your umbrella.
No, I won't need my umbrella
or my coat.
- But it's pouring.
- It'll stop in a few seconds.
I'm running a little test.
Bye, honey.
- Convinced?
- Convinced.
- Hi.
Still in love with that coat?
What coat?
It's been open to that same page
for the last three days.
Oh, that's the centre page.
It opens there naturally.
- How long for the pancakes?
- Just a few minutes.
Well...
I'll finish getting dressed.
Mother?
Mother, I can't wear this coat.
Yes, you're right, Samantha.
The colour isn't
very becoming to you.
Oh, that's perfect.
Mother.
I know, I know.
I don't understand, but I know.
I will have a mink coat when
Darrin can afford it, and not before.
Well, by the time Darwin can
afford a mink, mink will be extinct.
Now, be honest with yourself,
Samantha.
Wouldn't you adore
to have that coat?
Well...
Wear it in good health.
Mother. You take back this coat.
- Hi.
- Hi.
It's crazy, but I've been looking
at that picture of that mink coat...
for so long, I could've sworn
you were just wearing one.
Darrin...
would you like to tell me
what's bothering you?
I don't know, honey. I...
I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
I've been doing pretty much the
same job for the last three years...
Sweetheart, I think you
accomplished a great deal.
Like what?
Well, look around you. We're
not exactly starving, you know.
Well, honey, I know we have
most of the things we need...
but just having the things you
need isn't everything. I mean...
I'd like to buy you some things
you haven't got.
I've got you.
That's the only thing I really want.
What about that fur coat?
Oh, Darrin, I haven't heard you talk
this way before.
Remember the new account I told you
about? Waterhouse and Company?
The one the agency's
been trying to get for years?
Yes.
Oh, don't tell me you lost it.
No, we got it all right.
The trouble is, I will not be handling it.
Well, did you talk to Larry?
Larry's the one
who told me about it.
Well, I know how you feel.
But maybe...
Well, maybe you're just in too much
of a hurry to get to the top.
Remember, you're still young.
I'm young all right,
but I won't always be young.
If that's Larry,
tell him I'm on my way.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Louise.
Yeah, sure I'd like
to hear some good news.
Larry told you wh...
Darrin's got
the Waterhouse account?
Oh, I can't wait to tell him.
Oh, well, all right. If Larry wants
to tell him himself, I understand.
I won't say a word.
It won't be easy, but I promise.
Oh. Oh, I'd love to.
Yes, I'll do some shopping,
and then I'll meet you for lunch.
Okay. Bye.
- Who was it, honey?
- Louise.
- What are you so happy about?
- She wants me to meet her for lunch.
- Oh, boy. Some life I've given you.
- What do you mean?
A little thing like going out to lunch,
and you're ecstatic.
I'm easy to please.
I'll just go change,
and then I'll drive you to the office.
Honey, I'm a little late.
Only take a minute.
Darrin.
Larry, I want to speak to you
about the Waterhouse account.
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
Well, I'm talking to you about it first.
Remember the
Hoffsteddler-Douglas account?
- Yes, but...
- Before I took over...
Hoffsteddler hadn't spoken
to Douglas in 30 years.
- You did a fine job there, Darrin.
- Yes, I did.
And let's not overlook the Michael
Sales Company account.
Before I took charge,
they couldn't give away ice water...
- in the middle of the Mojave Desert.
- A memorable job.
Yes, it was.
And don't change the subject.
Then there was the Pender Drug
account, and Sheridan Cement.
All first class.
And all the others.
I haven't thought about hours or
days off. I've proved my loyalty...
and it's about time you gave me
an unqualified vote of confidence.
Now, Larry, either I get
that Waterhouse account...
- or you get yourself a new boy.
- You got it.
I mean it, Larry.
I've got the Waterhouse account?
That's what I wanted to tell you
when you came in.
Yesterday you said I couldn't have the
account because I was too immature.
What did I do, age overnight?
I just thought it over, and
this morning I changed my mind.
And Darrin, I know
you'll do a great job.
- Good luck.
- Thanks, Larry. You won't be sorry.
I still don't get it.
What made you change your mind?
- Oh, it's the boss' prerogative.
- I'll buy that.
Boy, I can't wait to tell Sam.
I was tempted to tell her myself...
but I knew that you
wanted that pleasure.
Oh, yeah.
When... When did you
see Samantha?
Oh, just now.
Down in the parking lot.
There's a great little wife
you've got there.
Has your every interest at heart.
She sure has. She's got more
confidence in me than I have in my...
Larry, you stopped
and spoke to her?
We chatted a while.
You chatted a while.
Yes.
Larry, I resign from
the Waterhouse account.
You... You resign?
What are you talking about?
I will not accept any job
that my wife got for me.
You got this job because
you're the best man for it.
That's not the point.
Any success I make...
I'm going to make
on my own or not at all.
Samantha. Now, you listen to me.
I have had it with
your magic and spells.
Now be quiet. I'm not finished yet.
I've had it up to here
with all your witchcraft...
turning me into a werewolf, into a
chimpanzee! I'm not through yet, Sam.
Just to prove that I have had it,
I am going to blow this account.
Do you hear me? I'm gonna blow the
account! What do you think of that?
Is this 555-7328?
Look, I'll have to make this fast.
Mr. Waterhouse is outside.
Before you meet him,
I want to brief you...
- I don't need any briefing.
- Darrin, Waterhouse is...
a very conservative man. He's
been making thumbtacks since 1888...
and he doesn't go
for this modern hoopla.
I don't know why he decided to
change agencies and come with us...
but take a tip from me and play
it sincere and conservative.
Betty, would you please ask
Mr. Waterhouse to come in here?
Larry, you just leave
everything to me.
Well, if it isn't old J. P. Waterhouse,
thumbtack king of America.
Stephens is my name
and advertising is my game.
Lay it on me, baby!
Stephens? Is that the name of
the man who's handling my account?
Yes, Mr. Waterhouse.
- This is Darrin Ste...
- You bet your bottom dollar...
I'm your boy. But time's a-wasting.
Let's get down to brass tacks.
Brass tacks!
I got a million of them.
All levity aside, Porterhouse.
Now, I've been looking at your
advertising, and believe me...
some of your ideas
went out with hoop skirts.
I mean, it's " Hey, you,
kid with a wow-wow brush!"
What Darrin means,
Mr. Waterhouse, is that...
some of your ideas could be
brought into better focus...
Oh, no, no, Larry.
Larry, that isn't what I mean at all.
What I mean is, Waterhose, baby,
you gotta get with it.
That TV commercial of yours
where the executive comes in...
and he puts the poster
up on the wall.
Oh, that has got to go. But say...
what if you should take
a cute little secretary...
and she comes
into the boss' office...
and she's putting thumbtacks
in the boss' drawer...
and one of those thumbtacks,
it drops on the boss' chair.
The boss comes in,
and he sits down.
That'll bring the TV viewer
right out of his chair.
- Bring the boss out of his chair too.
- That's enough, Darrin!
Hold it, Tate. I'll talk to this boy.
Young man, you might
as well know it now.
I don't like you.
I don't like your manner, I don't like
your style, I don't like your attitude.
But I do like your ideas.
Stephens, I'm putting next year's
entire campaign in your hands.
- You are?
- Yes.
We've been advertising the same way
for 30 years. It's not working anymore.
That's why I changed agencies...
decided we have to keep things
up-to-date.
Get to work on that campaign
right away.
And remember one thing,
gentlemen...
Waterhouse is my name
and thumbtacks is my game.
He wants me.
Darrin, you must have
somebody watching over you.
Larry, I just learned something.
- When a man can't lose, he can't win.
- Where are you going?
- To a bar, to drown my sorrows.
- Drown your sorrows?
You just landed a big account.
Well, let's just say I'm a sore winner.
Yeah, you came to the right guy
for advice, Darrin.
I'm an expert.
I know everything about marriage.
That's why I'm still single.
I don't get it.
I'm married to a girl who can
have anything in the whole world...
- yet she chose me.
- Take my brother.
He's had four years
of happy marriage.
The trouble is,
he's been married for 16.
She must love me.
Gave up everything for me.
But obviously she misses all
those luxuries. Who can blame her?
It all boils down to the old question.
Is there a life after marriage?
She just didn't wanna
hurt my pride.
Wants me to think
that I'm the breadwinner.
Pretty soon the romance goes.
And, as the song says...
women get weary wearing
the same shabby dress.
Well, then, that's the time to go out
and buy her another shabby dress.
That's why she's doing it this way.
Instead of just wapping up
a million dollars.
I guess I have been selfish...
forcing her to give up her witchhood,
live on my salary.
- Poor little witch.
- You see, the thing to do...
is to try to keep the magic
in your marriage.
I guess I'll just have
to go along with her.
She's been a great wife.
Be my way of saying thanks.
Oh, listen, you're welcome.
Anytime, Darrin, old boy. Anytime.
Oh, Darrin!
Oh, it's... It's beautiful.
Well, you shouldn't have.
Oh, but I'm glad you did.
Well, I can afford it.
Because you got
the Waterhouse account?
You guessed I would, huh?
Well, you deserve it.
It's beautiful.
You like my gift, huh?
Well, Darrin,
you know what they say.
It isn't the gift,
it's the thought that counts.
Oh, yes, of course I like it.
Sam, you could've wapped up
a mink coat anytime you wanted.
Oh, darling, the important thing
is that you gave it to me.
I guess I shouldn't have worried
about getting that account.
After all, you said you had
a strong feeling about it.
I have a strong feeling
about you too.
Sam, what if I hadn't
gotten the account?
Oh, Darrin, I'd feel the same
way if you were a total failure.
But you're not. You're a success.
And you're gonna be
an even bigger success.
- That's love.
- That's confidence.
How about a drink?
Honey, did you ever hear
that old saying:
"Behind every successful man
there's a woman"?
- It does seem to ring a bell.
- Well, they ain't seen nothing yet.
Suddenly I have a tremendous
feeling of power.
Why?
Because nobody ever had
a woman like you behind them.
Thank you.
Wow! Sweetheart, you better
take your umbrella.
I'm sure it'll stop raining
in a few minutes.
It's raining hard.
What makes you think so?
Because I want it to.
- What?
- I mean, I feel it will.
- Have a good day.
- I know I will.
My, you are Mr. Confidence
this morning.
I'm on a winning streak.
Darrin, it stopped.
Maybe you are
on a winning streak.
Honey, there's an old
gambler's expression.
When you're on
a winning streak, ride it.
I'll see you tonight.
"I hope the above suggestions
meet with your approval...
and I anxiously await your reply.
Yours very truly, et cetera, et cetera."
Larry, it's a great day.
I bet if we left now, we could
be on the golf course by noon.
Golf? You out of your mind?
You better start thinking...
- about that Waterhouse account.
- Don't need to. I'm on a lucky streak.
Everything I do turns out all right.
Yeah? Well, I've yet to see
luck replace hard work.
This is a very special lucky streak.
Oh, come off it, Darrin.
There's no such thing.
You want me to prove it?
Let's see.
Betty, would you mind
telling me where you were born?
Why, Minneapolis.
- I bet you weren't.
- I beg your pardon?
I said I bet you weren't
born in Minneapolis.
Mr. Stephens, it's right
on my birth certificate.
Why don't you call up
your mother now and find out.
Darrin, you're being ridiculous.
Would you like to bet me $10?
- Make it $25.
- Good.
- Betty, call your mother.
- I know I was born in...
Come on, Betty.
Sit down. Use my phone.
There is no such thing
as a lucky streak.
Go on, Betty.
Hello, Mom. How are you?
Fine.
Mother, I have to ask you something
that you might find a little strange.
I was born in Minneapolis, wasn't I?
What?
Where?
Why?
Are you sure?
Mom, I know you were there too.
No, I... I'm not distrusting
your word, Mother, I...
Bye.
- Well?
- I was born in Saint Paul.
Well, what about
your birth certificate?
It's wrong.
I was born while Mother
was visiting in Saint Paul...
but the family doctor
was from Minneapolis...
and that's where
he registered my birth.
Twenty-five dollars, Larry.
Mr. Tate, if it's all right with you,
I think I need my lunch break now.
You go right ahead, Betty.
Betty, better take your umbrella.
It's going to rain.
Rain. Come off it, Darrin.
There isn't a cloud in the sky.
Mr. Tate, if it's all the same to you,
I'll take the umbrella.
Good girl.
Now, if you can get your mind
off your lucky streak...
I wanna tell you
the first layout for Waterhouse...
has to be ready by the 15th.
And if I were you...
I'd get started on it right away,
and not trust to luck.
I'll tell you, Sam.
I'm worried about him.
I thought I better tell you
before he got home.
Tell me what?
He's suddenly convinced himself
that he's infallible.
He's been going around
making the craziest bets.
He thinks he has some
sort of strange power.
Well, that doesn't sound like Darrin.
Larry, are you sure
you're not exaggerating?
He just wanted to bet me he could
make the sun come out at midnight.
You're not exaggerating.
When did all this start?
I noticed him behaving strangely...
when I told him he had
the Waterhouse account.
He shouted something about
not having his life run by his wife.
You don't think he's on the verge
of a nervous breakdown?
No. No, no, Larry.
I don't think that's
what he's on the verge of.
Then why is he acting as if
he had a charmed life?
Well, I wouldn't worry
about it if I were you.
I'm sure by tomorrow
he'll be back to normal.
Bye.
He didn't even ask me
if I'd used witchcraft.
He tried me, judged me
and sentenced me...
without even giving me
a chance to defend myself.
It reminds me of
the old days in Salem.
As a matter of fact, he even looks like
the judge who sentenced...
- your poor Aunt Agnes to the stake.
- Oh, Mother.
How could he doubt me?
How could he think he'd gotten
that job through witchcraft?
Please give him credit
for having the sense to realize...
that he didn't get it
because of his brains.
There's only one thing to do.
- Teach him a lesson.
- Excellent.
Now, that is excellent.
Why not turn him into a dinosaur?
Or a salamander?
Or perhaps you...
No. No, mother.
I'm gonna do it my way.
Well, all right, dear.
But don't overlook the dinosaur.
The neighbours might get
quite a kick out of it.
I have a better idea.
- Honey, I'm ho...
- Good evening, sir.
Madam will be down presently.
Samantha! Saman...
- Hi, darling.
- What have you done?
- You noticed, huh?
- Noticed?
How can you miss the Taj Mahal?
Well, Darrin, I'll be honest with you.
I found out that you found out
about my little plan.
Well, you know.
My giving you a charmed life.
- You did, huh?
- Yes.
And it was sweet of you
to go along with it.
Anyway, since you decided
to go along with it...
I thought we might as well be
completely honest with each other. I...
- Two very dry martinis, Charles.
- Right away, madam.
You'll simply adore Charles.
He's in charge
of the rest of the staff.
What staff?
The upstairs maid, the chef
and your valet.
Now, where was I?
We were just being completely
honest with each other.
Yes, of course. Since you
found out about my scheme...
and you didn't seem to have any
objections, I thought it was silly...
to be devious any longer.
That makes sense, doesn't it?
I suppose so.
Good. Now, in the future if we
need anything, I'll just zap it up.
Oh, Darrin, it'll be so marvellous.
I'll be able to give you
anything you want.
Thank you, Charles.
Your dinner clothes
are all laid out for you, sir.
Sir?
All right, sweetheart,
here's to your success.
- What's the matter?
- I can't swallow this.
But Charles makes the best
martinis in the whole world.
No, I mean this.
It's no good, Sam.
I can't live this way.
Look, I sympathize with you
wanting all these things...
but, well, you're gonna have to
make a choice. It's either me or this.
Don't you think you're
being unreasonable?
I will not be helped by witchcraft.
You didn't seem to mind when it
got you the Waterhouse account.
- That was different. I did that for you.
- The Pender Drug account...
- six months ago?
- You got me that too?
And the Cushman Furniture account.
And the carpet account.
Hold it! There's only one thing that
got me that account, and that was me.
I showed them how to increase
their business by 39.2 percent...
in the first fiscal year.
And the Sheridan Cement account.
Sheridan Cement?
There was no witchcraft there.
I knew more about Sheridan
Cement than Sheridan did.
It's about time you found out
there are some things in this world...
like talent, ability and hard work
that will not be replaced by witchcraft.
You forgot one thing.
What?
- Faith.
- Faith?
Faith in the person closest to you.
Faith enough to know that when a
promise is made, it's going to be kept.
You didn't get me
the Waterhouse account?
You didn't stop the rain?
And you didn't change
Betty's birthplace?
I'm not sure, but I
don't even think that's legal.
I thought...
Darrin, all you had to do
was ask me.
One more question.
Could you possibly spend the rest
of your life with a big dumb-head...
who promises never to
jump to conclusions again?
You just talked me into it.
You know, it's amazing how many
things I guessed right yesterday.
You don't suppose I do have
some special power, do you?
Oh, now, Darrin, don't let a few
lucky coincidences go to your head.
You better take your umbrella.
No, I won't need my umbrella
or my coat.
- But it's pouring.
- It'll stop in a few seconds.
I'm running a little test.
Bye, honey.
- Convinced?
- Convinced.