Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 2, Episode 13 - My Boss, the Teddy Bear - full transcript

Endora wants Samantha, and by association Darrin, to attend a family wedding. Samantha would love to go, but believes that Larry won't give Darrin the necessary two days off, especially as Darrin is having problems coming up with a campaign for a new client. Endora counters that by turning Larry into an inanimate object, such as a teddy bear, for those two days, Larry won't even have known that Darrin was gone. Endora does decide to take matters into her own hands by asking Larry directly, he who gladly will give Darrin the time off. As a thank you, Endora, through witchcraft, produces a gift for Larry of something he is having problems finding: a replacement teddy bear for his son. When the teddy bear arrives at the office and when he learns that it is from Endora, Darrin believes Endora went through with her threat to turn Larry into a teddy bear. Problems ensue for Darrin as his colleagues and clients wonder why he is so attached to the teddy bear and why he is treating it like a human being. Things get worse for Darrin when the teddy bear goes missing.

You were up early
this morning, huh?

What were you doing in the den?

Darrin?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, just what I need.
Ketchup with my oatmeal.

Big day today, sweetheart?

Good. Have a nice time.

I have a feeling
I'm not getting through to you.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm worried about a presentation
I have to make to a client today.

Problems with the campaign?



Well, with a little bit of work,
it could be mediocre.

Can't you postpone the meeting?

He's only in town for one day.

I even got up early today...

to try to come up
with some new ideas for his product.

- Oh, honey...
- That's it.

- What?
- Honey. That's the product.

Sorry.

Your cousin Miranda
is going to get married...

and we're going to the wedding,
so be ready to leave tonight.

Don't you ever say hello?

You'll enjoy a vacation
from this suburban prison.

Mother, I can't go.

The Tates are coming for dinner.
Anyway, I couldn't leave Darrin alone.



You know, Samantha, your devotion
to that mortal is absolutely pathetic.

Well, I suppose we could
drag him along.

Show him how the elite live.

Oh, I don't think so, Mother.

Besides, Darrin is very busy.
And I've...

Derwood, we're all going
to a wedding.

So you better arrange to take two
days off from whatever it is you do.

Don't you ever say hello?

Darrin, you think you could get
a couple of days off?

I'm afraid not, honey.
I'm snowed under with work.

I'm sure Larry wouldn't let me off.

- Oh, I can take care of that.
- Oh, how?

Well, I'll simply turn Mr. Tate into
an inanimate object for two days.

He'll never know you've gone away.

- Mother.
- Well, it was just an idea.

Let's keep it that way.

I'm afraid you'll have to
count us out, Endora.

Oh, don't give up so easily.

I don't.

You know the trouble
with your mother?

She's here today,
and here tomorrow.

See you tonight.

Endora! What a coincidence
seeing you here.

Well, let's say a surprise.

A very pleasant one, I hope.

I've never had a day spoiled
by an attractive woman.

Oh, Mr. Tate.

As a matter of fact,
I've often told Darrin...

he should be glad he has
such a charming mother-in-law.

You should meet Louise's mother.

A real witch.

Well, it happens
in the best of families.

I'm glad that we happened
to meet, Mr. Tate.

I wanted to ask a favour of you.

Well, fire away.

I'd like to take Samantha
and her husband out of town...

to attend a very special
family function.

I'd really appreciate it if you could
spare him from the office for two days.

Well, if it means that much to you,
of course I can.

Oh, thank you.

I'll try to repay you sometime.

Oh, that won't be necessary.

Well, I'm afraid I have to run.

I was hoping to pick up a teddy bear
for my son, but they're all out of them.

Well, there seem to be
plenty around.

Oh, no. I need one like this.

It nods its head
when you press its toe.

This was taken with my son.

Oh, he has lovely brown eyes.

Oh, he was very fond
of that teddy bear.

So fond that last night,
it finally disintegrated...

under the constant affection.

How sweet.

I promised him
I'd get another one like it.

Well, if I happen to run across one,
I'll let you know.

Thank you.

- Nice seeing you, Endora.
- Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Tate.

Bye-bye.

Is Mr. Tate in?

Oh, no, I'm sorry. He's out.

When do you expect him?

I doubt he'll be back today.
He has a number of calls to make.

- Can I help you?
- Yes.

I'd like to send this to Mrs. Tate
with my compliments.

Oh, isn't he cute.

What is your name, please?

Endora.

Endora.

And your last name?

Betty, do you have the charts
on the Harper account?

- Oh, right here, Mr. Stephens.
- I'll get them.

You know, a psychiatrist could cure
you of an attachment like that.

Oh, it isn't mine.
It's a gift for Mrs. Tate.

It's an unusual gift.

Well, the lady who delivered it wasn't
exactly run-of-the-mill either.

Very striking, with red hair.

Odd name too.

Idora or Andora...

- Endora?
- Yeah, that's right. Endora.

- What did she say?
- Told me to send this...

to Mrs. Tate
with her compliments.

- Let me have that.
- Kind of cute, isn't he?

It's easy to see how people
can become so attached...

to inanimate objects.

Oh, she couldn't.

A lot of other things, but not this.

Are you all right, Mr. Stephens?

Have...?

Have you seen Mr. Tate today?

No, I haven't. He was supposed
to phone, but I haven't heard a word.

Well, I better put this in a box, and...

No! I'll... I'll keep him.

- What?
- I'll take care of it.

Gee, I don't know, Mr. Stephens.

I was supposed to send it to his home.
I don't want Mr. Tate mad at me.

- You know what a bear he can be.
- Betty, that's not funny.

Did I say something wrong?

No, of course not.

Just let us have
a few minutes alone.

I mean, will you excuse us? Me?

Sure, Mr. Stephens.

Sure.

Larry?

Larry, is that you?

Larry, is it you? Did Endora
turn you into a teddy bear?

Larry, nod your head
if you understand.

Oh, Larry.

Mother, will you stop
playing games?

I can't talk with that infernal din.

Now start packing, Samantha.
You're leaving tomorrow.

I told you,
Larry will not let Darrin go.

But I saw Mr. Tate,
and everything's taken care of.

- Mother...
- I can't stay now.

I'll be back soon.
I'm off to get a new wardrobe.

Wait...

Hold on, Lar.
Don't give up the ship.

Hello, Sam?
Have you seen your mother?

Yes. She just left. Why?

Did she say anything about Larry?

Well, she said something
about having seen him...

and having taken care
of everything.

Taken care of everything?

I don't really know
what she was talking about.

- Have you seen Larry?
- I'm holding him in my arms.

Oh, well, then ask him...

- What?
- Sam, she did it. She did it.

Put Larry in your arms?

She turned him into a teddy bear.

A teddy bear?

Darrin, are you sure?

Don't you think I know a teddy bear
when I see one?

Oh, this is terrible.

You have to get ahold of her.
She has to take this spell off.

Oh, but, Darrin,
I don't know where she is.

She went on a shopping spree.
We have to wait till she gets back.

Well, what am I supposed to do
in the meantime?

Look, darling, just keep him warm
and let him know you care.

That is, that you're trying
to do something about his...

condition.

Try not to worry too much.

I'll phone you as soon
as Mother shows up.

All right, sweetheart.

Well, Lar. You certainly look
warm enough.

And you heard what Sam said.

We'll have you back to normal
in no time.

Do you understand?

Do you understand?

Larry, you have every right to be
sore at me, but at least speak to me.

Are you kidding?

You spoke. You spoke to me.

Hardly. I think he's in hibernation
this time of year.

I'm sorry, Mr. Stephens.

Mr. Harper said he couldn't wait
any longer.

As you know,
my time is somewhat limited.

Yes, of course, Mr. Harper.

Thank you.

Thank you, Betty.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Harper.

I think you met my assistant,
Ted Bertram, last time he was in town.

- Yes. How are you, Ted?
- Nice to see you again.

This is the young lady who will
help us demonstrate our product.

Oh, we met outside.

Yes, we certainly did.

Well, now that we've all met,
won't you sit down?

- Oh, thank you.
- Diane?

Now...

We haven't met your friend.

Friend?

I guess you're wondering why
I was talking to this teddy bear.

Well, we all have our
hang-ups, Darrin.

Yes. Well...

it's my hobby. Ventriloquism.

I was practicing.

You must have a very funny act.

Yes.

Well, I'll just be a moment.

Doesn't look like
a ventriloquist's dummy.

Seems to be just an ordinary
teddy bear.

Well, I was only using that...
Don't hold him like that.

- All the blood will rush to his head.
- What?

Are his eyes bloodshot?

It's nice to have a client
with a good sense of humour, huh?

I would like to call your attention
to the story-bear. Board.

I'll have Diane read the copy
for you later...

but right now, I would like
to tell you some of our ideas.

- "Our" ideas?
- Yes. Larry Tate's and mine.

I'm only interested in hearing
your ideas, Darrin.

You see, we're a young,
progressive company.

And frankly, I think Mr. Tate's ideas
are a bit too fuddy-duddy for us.

Well, you're wrong, Mr. Harper.
You're dead wrong.

Some of Larry Tate's ideas
are very creative.

I'd say brilliant.

I'm sure that Mr. Tate's work
is quite competent in some areas...

but not for us.

You see, we're looking for
something fresh and imaginative.

And I find that old-timers
like Tate...

Well, they're old hat, stale.

Their ideas lack style.
And why are you doing that?

Doing what?

Would you please put down
that teddy bear?

It's rather distracting.

Here. Let me hold him.

He's so cute and cuddly.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

- Why?
- He bites.

He sheds.

Could we forget about the teddy bear
and get on with the presentation?

Of course.

Excuse me.

Is that you, Sam?

The model's dress is here.

Look, Betty, the only person
I wanna speak to is my wife.

Excuse me. I'll go change.

Would you please
keep the line open?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, but...

- Where's Diane?
- I think she went to change...

- into her costume.
- What'd she do with Larry?

- Larry?
- Teddy. I mean the teddy bear.

She took it in
the changing room with her.

She can't do that.

- Darrin!
- I've gotta get that teddy bear back.

Ted, I don't wanna be an alarmist...

but I have a sinking feeling
that we're doing business...

with a first-class fruitcake.

- Diane?
- Yes.

Have you got a teddy bear
in there with you?

Yes. Why?

He can't stay in there.
Give him to me.

Do you have to have him right now?
I don't have any clothes on.

Just get him out of there.

Did you have to do that?

Are you all right?

No heartbeat.

- Do you hear anything?
- Mr. Stephens...

teddy bears
don't have heartbeats.

Look, can we get on
with this meeting?

- Oh, yes, certain...
- No.

Leave the teddy bear.

You don't understand, Mr. Harper.
He's sort of a mascot.

Look, Mr. Stephens,
you don't need luck...

to sell us this campaign,
do you?

- No, of course not.
- I'll take care of him, Mr. Stephens.

All right, but don't let him
out of sight.

Sure, Mr. Stephens.
Look, I'll put him right in this drawer.

No! No, you'll cut off his air.

Put him right here on the desk.

And don't touch him.

Are you ready?

Or do you wanna get
into your Doctor Dentons?

The costume is very nice, Diane.

Hi, Betty. Is my husband in?

No, he's been out all day,
Mrs. Tate.

Well, never mind. I'll...

Oh, no. Larry must have
bought one too.

I've been looking all over
for one just like this...

and finally located one
half an hour ago.

Well, I was supposed to send this
to your house.

A lady named...

Endora said to send it to you
with her compliments.

Oh, how sweet of her.

I wonder how she knew
we were looking for one.

- Cute, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Well, we can't use two of these.

He must have come from
Tippet's Toy Shop.

It's the only place in town
that has them in.

I told them to send the bear I bought
to our house, so I'll return this one.

We'll just treat the other one
as a gift.

Want me to give Mr. Tate
any message when he phones?

Oh, no. I'll be busy all day too.

Tell him to meet me
at the Stephens' tonight.

All right, Mrs. Tate.

Darrin, why did you want me
to meet you here?

Louise returned Larry to this store.
He's here somewhere.

Take it easy. We'll find him,
get him home.

Mother will be there,
and everything will be normal.

- Oh, no, it won't.
- Why not?

What do the words
"nervous breakdown" mean to you?

Excuse me?

Did a brunet lady return
a teddy bear a little while ago?

Yes. Why?

Well, he's a very special bear.

I mean, he has great
sentimental value.

Would you mind telling us
where you put him?

- On the shelf over there.
- Thank you.

Don't worry, darling.

We'll have him home
safe and sound in...

- Can't you tell which one's him?
- Not a chance.

Honey, maybe you can contact him.

After all, you are a...

A witch.

Larry.

Larry.

Which one of you is Larry Tate?

Larry.

Larry.

- Is that you, Larry?
- Larry.

Hey, Lar. Give us a sign.

Larry. Larry?

Darrin, that must be him.
He nodded.

Lady, they all nod.

- They do?
- It's a button in his toe.

Can you remember which one
the lady returned?

I'm sorry.

You sure?

Look, do you wanna make
a purchase or not?

Yes. We'll take all these
teddy bears.

Mister, there are
24 teddy bears here.

I know. We're having a picnic.

A teddy bears' picnic.

Honey, they all look
absolutely identical.

Isn't there any way we can tell
which one is Larry?

Hasn't he got a mole or something?

Who notices moles?

Larry.

- Darrin.
- Lar... What?

Darrin, this must be Larry.

How can you tell?

He's the only one that doesn't
have "Made in Japan" on his... Here.

And he doesn't have
this little tag either.

You're right.

It must be him.

Larry, are you all right?

I better get these out of the way
so we don't get him mixed up again.

It's a good idea.

I wish you wouldn't keep staring
at me with those unblinking eyes.

They're all sort of accusing.

Oh, darling, I'm sure it's nothing
but your imagination.

Bears don't bear grudges.

At least I don't think they do.

Are you sure your mother's the only
one that can reverse the spell?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

I suppose I could try.

But not knowing the spell,
there's no telling what would happen.

And I'd hate to end up
with a live bear in the living room.

This time she did it.

This time she really did it.

Well, Darwin.

Ready for your afternoon nap?

You ought to be arrested
and locked up.

Don't you ever say hello?

Know what you could get
for turning a man into a teddy bear?

I have no idea.

But I can imagine they'd have
a hard time finding a precedent.

You know what you are? You're
a childish, irresponsible, old witch.

- Darrin. Now, I know you're upset.
- Upset?!

She turned my boss into a teddy bear
just to satisfy a selfish whim.

It's time you thought
of somebody besides yourself.

Are you quite through?

No, I'm not. You better
do something about him.

Certainly.

So much for your boss.

She murdered him.

I don't believe it.

Oh, Mother wouldn't.

Sam... Sam, call a doctor.

- A doctor?
- Sam, call a doctor.

He may still be alive.

Call a doctor before he dies
from a loss of stuffing.

I can't believe that Mother
would do something like that.

How can you say that
with Larry all over the table?

I rang twice, but nobody...

Hey, looks like you had
a little accident.

Is Larry here yet?

Is something the matter?

Matter?

No.

No, you just caught us
in the middle of something.

You want me to help you
clean up that mess?

We were just going to try
and put him back together.

Listen, forget it.

Whatever that was originally,
it's beyond repair now.

But I'll help you clean it up, thou...

Hey, that looks familiar.

Familiar?

Our little boy has a teddy bear.

Sam, I can't stand it any longer.

- I have to tell her.
- Darrin.

- I don't think you should rush into this.
- Sam, it's the only decent thing to do.

Louise, sit down.

But what is this?

Louise, these pitiful bits
of cotton and fuzz...

are all that's left of dear...

Larry!

- Larry!
- What's the matter with you, Darrin?

You act as though
I just returned from the dead.

Larry, is it really you?
If it really is you, nod your head.

- Is he kidding?
- Darrin, maybe you ought to sit down.

He's had a hard day.

Well, it couldn't have been
any worse than my day.

How do you mean?

Oh, you know,
one meeting after another.

Hi, Louise.

Who knocked the stuffing
out of that teddy bear?

Oh, it's a long story.

Well, he looks like I feel.

I think we could all use a little
drink before dinner, don't you?

- Hear, hear.
- Don't you?

By all means.

Eat, drink and be merry.

For tomorrow, I apologize
to your mother.

I think Mother accepted your apology
rather graciously, don't you?

Yes. Although I did have
a little trouble getting to my feet...

after being in that
kneeling position for so long.

Well, the only problem we have now
is what to do with 23 teddy bears.

That is not the only problem.

I'd also like to convince Larry
and Mr. Harper...

that just because I bought
24 teddy bears...

Twenty-four teddy bears...

all nodding yes.

Twenty-four teddy bears
all nodding yes?

Yes, don't you see? Bears? Honey?

Twenty-four teddy bears all nodding
yes to a jar of Harper's honey.

I might be able to get him
before he leaves for the airport.

At least it'll be a good excuse for me
being so preoccupied with bears.

Mr. Harper, please.

He has?

He just left three minutes ago.

Are you absolutely sure
he checked out of the hotel?

He is? Great.

- I just got a lucky break.
- He's coming back into the hotel.

He's heading back
to the desk right...

How did you know that?

Would you believe me
if I said it was intuition?

Of course. But just this once.

Hello, Mr. Harper.