Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 2, Episode 1 - Alias Darrin Stephens - full transcript
It's Samantha and Darrin's first wedding anniversary, and Aunt Clara stops by unexpectedly to provide her best wishes and a gift for each. Darrin's gift, a golf cap, is too small, so Aunt Clara recites an incantation to resize it to fit his head. The incantation does match the cap size to the head, but instead of making the cap larger, it makes Darrin's head smaller by turning him into a small chimpanzee. Aunt Clara has no idea what she did wrong, and can't remember the incantation to undo the spell. As Aunt Clara tries to break the spell, Darrin has to avoid Larry Tate and work, and a nosy Gladys Kravitz. In trying to achieve both, Darrin gets into a bit of trouble, and in the process goes missing, Samantha, Endora and Aunt Clara not knowing that he has been captured by the local zoo-keeper. Samantha hopes they can find him and that Aunt Clara can break the spell, since Samantha has some important news for him.
[♪♪♪]
Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
Thank you, Darling.
What time's our reservation?
Eight o'clock.
Any regrets about
not having a party?
Nope.
I want to celebrate our first
wedding anniversary alone.
So do I.
How about us? One whole year.
[CRASH]
Oh!
SAM: Aunt Clara!
Oh. Oh, dear.
I thought I'd
drop in for your...
To wish you a happy anniversary.
But I didn't know it was
going to be so hard a drop.
Oh, dear. Ooh!
Let me help you up.
Oh!
Let me fix your hat.
It doesn't look like
anything's broken.
I want to wish you
a happy anniversary
and give you these
tokens of my affection.
If I can find them, of course.
Aunt Clara, you shouldn't have.
Oh, now.
I think that's yours. Thank you.
And that's yours.
Let's open them inside.
All right.
Oh, no.
Right over here.
Let me take this.
Thank you, dear. Thank you.
Oh, Aunt Clara,
what a lovely apron.
Oh?
That is beautiful, Aunt Clara.
Let's see what we have here.
Aww. Ah, a golf cap!
Just what I've been
meaning to buy.
I'm going to put this in the
kitchen to wear at breakfast.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I-I-I think it's a little small.
I'll exchange it.
Oh, don't be silly.
No, I'll cast a spell
and everything
will be quite all right.
Don't go to any
trouble, Aunt Clara...
Abba-dabba-dabba
Dabba-dabba-abba
Remedium decapito zippirare!
[MOUTHING]
I goofed.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Aunt Clara,
I'm sorry we have
to run out on you,
but we have a
reservation for 8:00.
What's that?
Th-th-th-that's your husband.
Darrin?
Darrin.
Darrin!
What did she do to you?
Well, the cap was too small.
And I made it the right size,
but I got it on the wrong head.
Aunt Clara, this is terrible!
You bring Darrin
back right this minute!
Well, uh... Zilcho
casa casa directo!
Chavas havas formsbe!
I-I-I think you better
do this for me, dear.
Yes, maybe I'd better.
SAM: What words did you use?
What words?
What magic words?
Oh, what magic words?
Well, I started with
abba-dabba-dabba...
Or was it abba-dabba-doobie?
Please, Aunt Clara,
you have to remember.
This is very serious.
If you can't remember
the exact words
then you can't break that
spell and neither can I.
Is that so?
Oh, dear.
You mean not even
you, a bloody relation?
I'm sor... Excuse...
A blood relation?
Not even anyone.
I began with
dobba-dabba-dibba...
Sweetheart?
Sweetheart, can
you understand me?
If you can, raise
your right hand.
Well, thank heaven.
At least you're
still here, in spirit.
Now, don't you worry, darling.
We'll have you back in your
own body before you know it.
Meanwhile, I better
call the Starlight Roof
and tell them
we'll be a little late.
[DIALING]
Darrin, breakfast is ready.
[CHIRPING]
All right, darling.
How did you sleep?
[CHIRPS]
Lousy?
Well, I'm sorry,
but I didn't sleep
too well, either.
[CHIRPING]
Darrin, why don't
you try to relax
and eat your breakfast?
What would you like?
Darrin, breakfast
is the... Thank you.
Most important meal of the day.
Black coffee is not enough.
How about a nice, ripe banana?
[CHIMPANZEE BARKING]
Oh.
Oh, Darrin, please.
I'm terribly sorry.
I wasn't thinking.
Darrin, please come back.
Please?
SAM: Larry Tate, please.
Mrs. Darrin Stephens.
Oh, hi, Larry.
Oh, I'm fine.
But I'm afraid Darrin isn't,
so he won't be able
to go to work today.
No, no, nothing serious.
Let's just say he
isn't his usual self.
May you speak with him?
Uh, no.
Why?
Well...
because he lost his voice.
He's got laryngitis.
Yes, that's what
he's got, all right.
A very severe
case of laryngitis.
Oh, I will, Larry. Thank you.
Goodbye.
Sweetheart, Larry wishes
you a very speedy recovery.
Good morning, Samantha.
Mother, there's
something I have to tell you.
Good morning Derwood.
Darrin. Whatever.
You recognized him.
I'd know Delbert anywhere.
I just left your Aunt Clara.
Poor dear, she
feels terribly guilty.
Samantha, should you
allow him to sit on the sofa?
He'll shed hair all over it.
SAM: It's his house.
He can shed hair
wherever he wants.
How remarkable.
A writing chimpanzee.
"Tell her to get lost."
Who, me?
Mother, What?
I think our problem amuses you.
Oh, Samantha, how
can you say such a thing?
You're my children.
You're my daughter,
he's my son-in-law.
[BARKS]
I love him very,
very, very much.
Don't be a hypocrite.
You didn't love him before,
why would you love him now?
He needs me.
He also needs something
to go out and play in.
Oh, that's adorable.
Come on, Precious.
Try it on.
[BARKING]
Oh, Darrin.
Did I insult him?
[DOOR SLAMS]
He probably thinks it would
make him look like a sissy.
I hate to criticize a man
when he's down, Samantha,
but Donald always struck
me as being overly sensitive.
His name is Darrin.
Mother, What?
Would you stay here
and take care of him?
I have to go out for a while.
You want me to
be a chimp-sitter?
Yes.
I'll be back in
less than an hour.
Where are you going?
Oh, well, I haven't
got time to tell you now,
but believe me,
it's very important.
I'll be back in a little bit.
Thank you, Mother.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR SHUTS]
Don't stay and sulk
up in your room, David.
Come on down.
Mother Endora will comb you.
[SHRIEKS]
Oh, come on, now.
You want to be a
pretty chimp, don't you?
[CHIRPS]
[HISSES]
[HISSES BACK]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Good morning. Good morning.
You're Samantha's mother.
We met in Paris.
Oh, that's right.
And you're, uh...
I'm Larry Tate,
Darrin's boss.
Oh, of course.
Please come in.
I'm having lunch
with a client of Darrin's
and I'll need
Darrin to brief me.
Oh, I'm aware he has laryngitis,
but he can write me notes.
Oh, yes.
Yes, he can.
I'll tell him you're here.
If you'll excuse me?
Ah... Forgive me for barging in,
but Mr. Tate wants to see you
so you can write him
notes about a client.
Why not?
Darrin, it's me, Larry.
I want you to brief...
Where is he?
Abner, I whipped up a
batch of my icebox cookies
and I'm going over to give
some to Mr. and Mrs. Stephens.
Why do you want
to inflict suffering
on such a nice couple?
Abner, these cookies
are very unusual.
I know. You make them
out of real iceboxes.
Ah!
[SCREAMS]
Darwin?
Darwin!
Here, boy!
Here, boy!
Come on home.
Endora was only teasing.
Well,
he's probably hanging
around here somewhere.
GLADYS: Abner, open up! [GROANS]
[KNOCKING ON
DOOR] Open up, Abner!
Abner!
Come on in, Sweetie pie!
Come on! Come on in.
Hey, get up here!
That's it. That's it.
I thought your sister
wasn't coming till next week.
Don't make jokes.
Shut the door so that
he doesn't escape.
ABNER: Golf cap and a tuxedo.
He's ready for anything.
I wonder why he was at
the Stephens' front door?
Coincidence.
He was wandering
around the neighborhood.
Maybe he knows her.
Strange people
have strange friends.
I wonder where he belongs.
He belongs in a zoo...
and so do you.
ABNER: Will you please
give me the number
of the Municipal Zoo?
Abner.
What?
Abner, he looks familiar!
I know he's a total stranger,
but around the eyes
he looks familiar!
Take your medicine, Gladys.
Ah!
Darrin?
Mother?
Darrin, where are you?
He's not here, dear.
I've been looking
all over for him.
Well, where's mother? Well...
She said she'd stay
here and take care of him.
Well, she isn't here, either.
Oh, Aunt Clara, I
have to find him.
Oh, dear. I know.
Don't worry, dear. Don't worry.
I have my book of spells
and sooner or later
we'll find the words
that made a monkey
out of Darrin. Yes,
But are we going to find
the words to find Darrin?
Oh, Aunt Clara,
I don't even know
where to start looking.
Oh, yes.
Don't you worry,
dear. Don't you worry.
He'll probably come
swinging in here any minute.
I certainly hope so,
because I have something
very important to tell him.
Yeah?
I've just been to the doctor.
Aunt Clara, we're
going to have a baby.
We are?
Darrin and I.
Oh, my dear. Oh, my dear.
Well, that's marvelous.
It's marvelous.
Oh, dear.
Thank you, Aunt Clara.
Oh, dear. Oh.
I'll be a Great Aunt.
You've always been a great aunt.
And Endora is
going to be a Granny.
Oh, I can hardly
wait to see her face
when we tell her.
Yes. Well...
Aunt Clara, I think
perhaps I better be the one
to break the news to mother.
Oh, she'll be hysterical.
Yes, I know.
That's why I want to be
the one to pick the right time
and the right place to tell her.
Now, do you understand?
Oh yes, of course,
dear. Of course.
First I have to tell Darrin,
wherever he is.
Even though we don't
know who you are,
we can't have you wandering
around loose, can we?
So, here's your new home
with three nice playmates.
Oh?
Oh, that's marvelous.
Yes, yes. Thank you very much.
My, you certainly work fast.
My guess was right.
A stray chimpanzee was
reported in the neighborhood
so a man from the zoo
came over and got it...
Him. Ooh.
Darrin is safe and
sound locked in a cage.
Who turned him in?
I forgot to ask.
I'll pop over and get him out.
Now, Aunt Clara, you wait here
and keep going
over these spells,
and try to come up
with the right one.
I'll be back with
Darrin as soon as I can.
Now, wait a minute, dear.
Remember your
condition, and fly carefully.
It's brilliant!
Darrin?
Darrin?
Which one of you
is Darrin Stephens?
Oh, Sweetheart.
I'm glad you're safe.
But why were you
sitting in there all alone?
Why don't you mingle?
"I feel, fundamentally, we
have very little in common."
Charles Darwin
wouldn't agree with you.
All right, Sweetheart.
I'll unlock the door.
[BANG]
Eureka! Eureka!
Eureka!
Aunt Clara, I thought you were
going to wait for us at home.
Yes, I know.
But I was so excited!
I was so excited, I had
to see you immediately.
Thank you, dear.
I found it!
CLARA: I found it!
The exact original words?
[STAMMERING]
It's in volume nine.
SAM: Aunt Clara,
maybe you better tell
me and let me do it.
No, I want to redeem myself.
Yes, I know you do, Sweetheart,
but I think perhaps...
Rafino, delino, selino!
[BARKING]
Oh, for goodness sakes.
Oh, marvelous. Now
he can't even write notes.
Here, let me do it.
SAM: Where is this thing?
"Aba-daba-daba Daba-daba-uba
"Uba-duba-duba Uden-eyo
Decapito zipidaro."
Oh, thank you.
Itsy-bitsy Weeten-dotten
At last. Oh.
I wasn't even close, you know.
Hey, you get out of
there immediately.
Wise guy, huh?!
Teasing innocent chimpanzees!
Don't you know you
can make them neurotic?
I'm sorry. It won't
happen again.
You bet it won't.
ZOOKEEPER: I should
place you under citizen's arrest.
Oh well, ah...
Well, I'm going to take this
because if I don't, you'll
just spend it on whiskey.
Hi.
Hi.
Samantha, I am usually a
very tolerant person, but...
Aunt Clara, may we have
a few words in private?
Yes. You and me? No.
Darrin and I. Oh.
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Well, I think I'll go home
now and revise my diary.
Well, ahem...
One, two, three, Height.
Oh well, it's a nice day.
You know, I... I
think... I think...
I think I'll walk.
Darrin, I think we should talk.
You bet your sweet
life we should talk.
Sam, it's through.
Finished!
Do you realize what
I've been through today?
First of all, I was
turned into a chimp.
Then I had to climb out a
window to avoid my boss.
Oh, Darrin, I know
it's been very trying.
Trying?
Have you ever been
hugged by Gladys Kravitz?
And then I end up
in the zoo. Darrin...
And then, to top it all off,
I'm rejected by
the other chimps.
Oh, Darling, why?
Why? Who knows why?
Maybe because of the suit,
they think I'm some kind
of a millionaire chimp.
Who knows?
I'm telling you one thing, Sam,
this is the last time that
spooky family of yours
is ever going to make
a monkey out of me.
Darling, I have something
very important to tell you.
Samantha, this is important!
I love you, but I can't go...!
Darrin, if you love
me, you'll listen.
Listen to what?
I think you better sit down.
Okay, what's so important?
I'm going to have a baby.
Good.
You're what?
I'm going to have a baby.
You're kidding. Honest.
I saw Doctor Anton this morning
and he said the
test was positive.
I didn't tell you before
'cause I didn't want
you to get your hopes up.
Congratulations, Pop!
A baby.
Our very own baby.
Mm-hm.
Well, Sam, that's...
Sam, that...
Sweetheart, I'll try to be the
best father there ever was.
You will be.
Now, let's go home.
They want to congratulate me.
No, I don't think so.
I think they just
want to say goodbye.
I'll say goodbye.
Aww.
What's the matter?
Sam. Hm?
Will we have a little witch?
Well, it might be
a little warlock.
There's no other choice?
Or then on the other
hand, it might be a plain,
lovable, mortal baby.
But you don't have any
advance information?
Darrin, I'm a witch,
not a fortune-teller.
We'll just have to wait and see.
Oh, I can hardly wait.
Neither can I.
Oh, hurry up,
Sweetheart, we'll be late.
SAM: Coming!
Wow-wow-wow!
You like?
I like.
Now we got two things
to celebrate. What?
Our first wedding anniversary
and our first future baby.
All right, I'm
ready to celebrate.
Oh, wait a second.
Oh, I love you too.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz. Hello.
I wondered if you knew anything
about the chimp I
caught here today.
Chimp?
Yes.
Cute little thing.
He was wearing a
tuxedo and a golf cap.
[SHRIEKS]
Yes. Go on, Mrs. Kravitz.
[SCREAMS]
[♪♪♪]
Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
Thank you, Darling.
What time's our reservation?
Eight o'clock.
Any regrets about
not having a party?
Nope.
I want to celebrate our first
wedding anniversary alone.
So do I.
How about us? One whole year.
[CRASH]
Oh!
SAM: Aunt Clara!
Oh. Oh, dear.
I thought I'd
drop in for your...
To wish you a happy anniversary.
But I didn't know it was
going to be so hard a drop.
Oh, dear. Ooh!
Let me help you up.
Oh!
Let me fix your hat.
It doesn't look like
anything's broken.
I want to wish you
a happy anniversary
and give you these
tokens of my affection.
If I can find them, of course.
Aunt Clara, you shouldn't have.
Oh, now.
I think that's yours. Thank you.
And that's yours.
Let's open them inside.
All right.
Oh, no.
Right over here.
Let me take this.
Thank you, dear. Thank you.
Oh, Aunt Clara,
what a lovely apron.
Oh?
That is beautiful, Aunt Clara.
Let's see what we have here.
Aww. Ah, a golf cap!
Just what I've been
meaning to buy.
I'm going to put this in the
kitchen to wear at breakfast.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I-I-I think it's a little small.
I'll exchange it.
Oh, don't be silly.
No, I'll cast a spell
and everything
will be quite all right.
Don't go to any
trouble, Aunt Clara...
Abba-dabba-dabba
Dabba-dabba-abba
Remedium decapito zippirare!
[MOUTHING]
I goofed.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Aunt Clara,
I'm sorry we have
to run out on you,
but we have a
reservation for 8:00.
What's that?
Th-th-th-that's your husband.
Darrin?
Darrin.
Darrin!
What did she do to you?
Well, the cap was too small.
And I made it the right size,
but I got it on the wrong head.
Aunt Clara, this is terrible!
You bring Darrin
back right this minute!
Well, uh... Zilcho
casa casa directo!
Chavas havas formsbe!
I-I-I think you better
do this for me, dear.
Yes, maybe I'd better.
SAM: What words did you use?
What words?
What magic words?
Oh, what magic words?
Well, I started with
abba-dabba-dabba...
Or was it abba-dabba-doobie?
Please, Aunt Clara,
you have to remember.
This is very serious.
If you can't remember
the exact words
then you can't break that
spell and neither can I.
Is that so?
Oh, dear.
You mean not even
you, a bloody relation?
I'm sor... Excuse...
A blood relation?
Not even anyone.
I began with
dobba-dabba-dibba...
Sweetheart?
Sweetheart, can
you understand me?
If you can, raise
your right hand.
Well, thank heaven.
At least you're
still here, in spirit.
Now, don't you worry, darling.
We'll have you back in your
own body before you know it.
Meanwhile, I better
call the Starlight Roof
and tell them
we'll be a little late.
[DIALING]
Darrin, breakfast is ready.
[CHIRPING]
All right, darling.
How did you sleep?
[CHIRPS]
Lousy?
Well, I'm sorry,
but I didn't sleep
too well, either.
[CHIRPING]
Darrin, why don't
you try to relax
and eat your breakfast?
What would you like?
Darrin, breakfast
is the... Thank you.
Most important meal of the day.
Black coffee is not enough.
How about a nice, ripe banana?
[CHIMPANZEE BARKING]
Oh.
Oh, Darrin, please.
I'm terribly sorry.
I wasn't thinking.
Darrin, please come back.
Please?
SAM: Larry Tate, please.
Mrs. Darrin Stephens.
Oh, hi, Larry.
Oh, I'm fine.
But I'm afraid Darrin isn't,
so he won't be able
to go to work today.
No, no, nothing serious.
Let's just say he
isn't his usual self.
May you speak with him?
Uh, no.
Why?
Well...
because he lost his voice.
He's got laryngitis.
Yes, that's what
he's got, all right.
A very severe
case of laryngitis.
Oh, I will, Larry. Thank you.
Goodbye.
Sweetheart, Larry wishes
you a very speedy recovery.
Good morning, Samantha.
Mother, there's
something I have to tell you.
Good morning Derwood.
Darrin. Whatever.
You recognized him.
I'd know Delbert anywhere.
I just left your Aunt Clara.
Poor dear, she
feels terribly guilty.
Samantha, should you
allow him to sit on the sofa?
He'll shed hair all over it.
SAM: It's his house.
He can shed hair
wherever he wants.
How remarkable.
A writing chimpanzee.
"Tell her to get lost."
Who, me?
Mother, What?
I think our problem amuses you.
Oh, Samantha, how
can you say such a thing?
You're my children.
You're my daughter,
he's my son-in-law.
[BARKS]
I love him very,
very, very much.
Don't be a hypocrite.
You didn't love him before,
why would you love him now?
He needs me.
He also needs something
to go out and play in.
Oh, that's adorable.
Come on, Precious.
Try it on.
[BARKING]
Oh, Darrin.
Did I insult him?
[DOOR SLAMS]
He probably thinks it would
make him look like a sissy.
I hate to criticize a man
when he's down, Samantha,
but Donald always struck
me as being overly sensitive.
His name is Darrin.
Mother, What?
Would you stay here
and take care of him?
I have to go out for a while.
You want me to
be a chimp-sitter?
Yes.
I'll be back in
less than an hour.
Where are you going?
Oh, well, I haven't
got time to tell you now,
but believe me,
it's very important.
I'll be back in a little bit.
Thank you, Mother.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR SHUTS]
Don't stay and sulk
up in your room, David.
Come on down.
Mother Endora will comb you.
[SHRIEKS]
Oh, come on, now.
You want to be a
pretty chimp, don't you?
[CHIRPS]
[HISSES]
[HISSES BACK]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Good morning. Good morning.
You're Samantha's mother.
We met in Paris.
Oh, that's right.
And you're, uh...
I'm Larry Tate,
Darrin's boss.
Oh, of course.
Please come in.
I'm having lunch
with a client of Darrin's
and I'll need
Darrin to brief me.
Oh, I'm aware he has laryngitis,
but he can write me notes.
Oh, yes.
Yes, he can.
I'll tell him you're here.
If you'll excuse me?
Ah... Forgive me for barging in,
but Mr. Tate wants to see you
so you can write him
notes about a client.
Why not?
Darrin, it's me, Larry.
I want you to brief...
Where is he?
Abner, I whipped up a
batch of my icebox cookies
and I'm going over to give
some to Mr. and Mrs. Stephens.
Why do you want
to inflict suffering
on such a nice couple?
Abner, these cookies
are very unusual.
I know. You make them
out of real iceboxes.
Ah!
[SCREAMS]
Darwin?
Darwin!
Here, boy!
Here, boy!
Come on home.
Endora was only teasing.
Well,
he's probably hanging
around here somewhere.
GLADYS: Abner, open up! [GROANS]
[KNOCKING ON
DOOR] Open up, Abner!
Abner!
Come on in, Sweetie pie!
Come on! Come on in.
Hey, get up here!
That's it. That's it.
I thought your sister
wasn't coming till next week.
Don't make jokes.
Shut the door so that
he doesn't escape.
ABNER: Golf cap and a tuxedo.
He's ready for anything.
I wonder why he was at
the Stephens' front door?
Coincidence.
He was wandering
around the neighborhood.
Maybe he knows her.
Strange people
have strange friends.
I wonder where he belongs.
He belongs in a zoo...
and so do you.
ABNER: Will you please
give me the number
of the Municipal Zoo?
Abner.
What?
Abner, he looks familiar!
I know he's a total stranger,
but around the eyes
he looks familiar!
Take your medicine, Gladys.
Ah!
Darrin?
Mother?
Darrin, where are you?
He's not here, dear.
I've been looking
all over for him.
Well, where's mother? Well...
She said she'd stay
here and take care of him.
Well, she isn't here, either.
Oh, Aunt Clara, I
have to find him.
Oh, dear. I know.
Don't worry, dear. Don't worry.
I have my book of spells
and sooner or later
we'll find the words
that made a monkey
out of Darrin. Yes,
But are we going to find
the words to find Darrin?
Oh, Aunt Clara,
I don't even know
where to start looking.
Oh, yes.
Don't you worry,
dear. Don't you worry.
He'll probably come
swinging in here any minute.
I certainly hope so,
because I have something
very important to tell him.
Yeah?
I've just been to the doctor.
Aunt Clara, we're
going to have a baby.
We are?
Darrin and I.
Oh, my dear. Oh, my dear.
Well, that's marvelous.
It's marvelous.
Oh, dear.
Thank you, Aunt Clara.
Oh, dear. Oh.
I'll be a Great Aunt.
You've always been a great aunt.
And Endora is
going to be a Granny.
Oh, I can hardly
wait to see her face
when we tell her.
Yes. Well...
Aunt Clara, I think
perhaps I better be the one
to break the news to mother.
Oh, she'll be hysterical.
Yes, I know.
That's why I want to be
the one to pick the right time
and the right place to tell her.
Now, do you understand?
Oh yes, of course,
dear. Of course.
First I have to tell Darrin,
wherever he is.
Even though we don't
know who you are,
we can't have you wandering
around loose, can we?
So, here's your new home
with three nice playmates.
Oh?
Oh, that's marvelous.
Yes, yes. Thank you very much.
My, you certainly work fast.
My guess was right.
A stray chimpanzee was
reported in the neighborhood
so a man from the zoo
came over and got it...
Him. Ooh.
Darrin is safe and
sound locked in a cage.
Who turned him in?
I forgot to ask.
I'll pop over and get him out.
Now, Aunt Clara, you wait here
and keep going
over these spells,
and try to come up
with the right one.
I'll be back with
Darrin as soon as I can.
Now, wait a minute, dear.
Remember your
condition, and fly carefully.
It's brilliant!
Darrin?
Darrin?
Which one of you
is Darrin Stephens?
Oh, Sweetheart.
I'm glad you're safe.
But why were you
sitting in there all alone?
Why don't you mingle?
"I feel, fundamentally, we
have very little in common."
Charles Darwin
wouldn't agree with you.
All right, Sweetheart.
I'll unlock the door.
[BANG]
Eureka! Eureka!
Eureka!
Aunt Clara, I thought you were
going to wait for us at home.
Yes, I know.
But I was so excited!
I was so excited, I had
to see you immediately.
Thank you, dear.
I found it!
CLARA: I found it!
The exact original words?
[STAMMERING]
It's in volume nine.
SAM: Aunt Clara,
maybe you better tell
me and let me do it.
No, I want to redeem myself.
Yes, I know you do, Sweetheart,
but I think perhaps...
Rafino, delino, selino!
[BARKING]
Oh, for goodness sakes.
Oh, marvelous. Now
he can't even write notes.
Here, let me do it.
SAM: Where is this thing?
"Aba-daba-daba Daba-daba-uba
"Uba-duba-duba Uden-eyo
Decapito zipidaro."
Oh, thank you.
Itsy-bitsy Weeten-dotten
At last. Oh.
I wasn't even close, you know.
Hey, you get out of
there immediately.
Wise guy, huh?!
Teasing innocent chimpanzees!
Don't you know you
can make them neurotic?
I'm sorry. It won't
happen again.
You bet it won't.
ZOOKEEPER: I should
place you under citizen's arrest.
Oh well, ah...
Well, I'm going to take this
because if I don't, you'll
just spend it on whiskey.
Hi.
Hi.
Samantha, I am usually a
very tolerant person, but...
Aunt Clara, may we have
a few words in private?
Yes. You and me? No.
Darrin and I. Oh.
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Well, I think I'll go home
now and revise my diary.
Well, ahem...
One, two, three, Height.
Oh well, it's a nice day.
You know, I... I
think... I think...
I think I'll walk.
Darrin, I think we should talk.
You bet your sweet
life we should talk.
Sam, it's through.
Finished!
Do you realize what
I've been through today?
First of all, I was
turned into a chimp.
Then I had to climb out a
window to avoid my boss.
Oh, Darrin, I know
it's been very trying.
Trying?
Have you ever been
hugged by Gladys Kravitz?
And then I end up
in the zoo. Darrin...
And then, to top it all off,
I'm rejected by
the other chimps.
Oh, Darling, why?
Why? Who knows why?
Maybe because of the suit,
they think I'm some kind
of a millionaire chimp.
Who knows?
I'm telling you one thing, Sam,
this is the last time that
spooky family of yours
is ever going to make
a monkey out of me.
Darling, I have something
very important to tell you.
Samantha, this is important!
I love you, but I can't go...!
Darrin, if you love
me, you'll listen.
Listen to what?
I think you better sit down.
Okay, what's so important?
I'm going to have a baby.
Good.
You're what?
I'm going to have a baby.
You're kidding. Honest.
I saw Doctor Anton this morning
and he said the
test was positive.
I didn't tell you before
'cause I didn't want
you to get your hopes up.
Congratulations, Pop!
A baby.
Our very own baby.
Mm-hm.
Well, Sam, that's...
Sam, that...
Sweetheart, I'll try to be the
best father there ever was.
You will be.
Now, let's go home.
They want to congratulate me.
No, I don't think so.
I think they just
want to say goodbye.
I'll say goodbye.
Aww.
What's the matter?
Sam. Hm?
Will we have a little witch?
Well, it might be
a little warlock.
There's no other choice?
Or then on the other
hand, it might be a plain,
lovable, mortal baby.
But you don't have any
advance information?
Darrin, I'm a witch,
not a fortune-teller.
We'll just have to wait and see.
Oh, I can hardly wait.
Neither can I.
Oh, hurry up,
Sweetheart, we'll be late.
SAM: Coming!
Wow-wow-wow!
You like?
I like.
Now we got two things
to celebrate. What?
Our first wedding anniversary
and our first future baby.
All right, I'm
ready to celebrate.
Oh, wait a second.
Oh, I love you too.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz. Hello.
I wondered if you knew anything
about the chimp I
caught here today.
Chimp?
Yes.
Cute little thing.
He was wearing a
tuxedo and a golf cap.
[SHRIEKS]
Yes. Go on, Mrs. Kravitz.
[SCREAMS]
[♪♪♪]