Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 1, Episode 6 - Little Pitchers Have Big Fears - full transcript
Samantha has befriended Marshall Burns, a little boy who lives down the street. Samantha feels sorry for Marshall because he has no friends, primarily because his over protective widowed mother is so afraid that Marshall will get hurt or injured that she doesn't let him do anything, including play with other boys his age. Despite Mrs. Burns not appreciating what she sees as Samantha's interference with regard to Marshall, Samantha takes Marshall to Little League tryouts. Marshall doesn't really know how to play baseball well since he has had no experience, so Samantha uses a little witchcraft to help him excel in the sport if only to boost his confidence. But when Mrs. Burns won't let Marshall play even after he makes the team, Samantha and Darrin have to try and convince her that she has to let Marshall do what little boys do or else have him try to run away time and time again like he already has tried to do, and even if he does get the occasional scraped knee or bloody nose in the process. And Samantha has to learn to let Marshall succeed or fail on his own.
And I give you my
personal guarantee
that finer merchandise
does not exist.
These are absolutely
the finest bristles made.
No, thank you. I
already have a broom.
Believe me, lady, you can
always use an extra one.
No, thank you.
Toothbrushes.
Polish up your smile.
You never know when
people are gonna drop in.
No, really.
The barbecue. Extra-stiff
bristles for the barbecue!
I told you, I already have
all the brooms and
brushes I can use.
That's impossible, lady.
No housewife ever has
enough brooms and brushes.
All right, see for yourself.
Sweetheart, no breakfast
for me. I won't have time.
Oh, but, Darrin!
I'm late, honey.
Something happened to the alarm.
Well, you might
as well relax, dear.
You've missed
your train already.
I have? How do you know?
Have you been, uh...?
No, no. It's watchcraft,
not witchcraft.
Oh.
Well, the next
train isn't till 9:30.
Oh, dear, isn't that a shame!
Well, I guess they'll just have
to muddle through at the office
without you for an hour.
Okay.
And I'll just muddle
around here for a while.
Save my place.
I'll be right back.
Well, good morning.
What can I do for you?
Look, son, I've got a lot on
my mind this morning, so...
Oh, well, hello,
Marshall! What a surprise!
How come? I'm
here every morning.
Who's he?
Well, I live here,
that's who I am.
Who are you?
That's Marshall. He
lives down the street.
I see.
Well, you overshot your mark.
It's okay. I can
stay for breakfast.
But you better not kiss me,
because I've
got a cold, I think.
He's got a problem.
He's got a problem?
What is he doing here?
I'm his only friend
in the neighborhood.
Well, you're my only
wife in the neighborhood.
And I thought we'd have
a nice breakfast together.
Anything I can
do, Mrs. Stephens?
No, no, Marshall.
You go and sit down.
Breakfast is ready.
"Anything I can
do, Mrs. Stephens?"
Darrin, now, try to understand.
He's an unhappy little boy
with a nervous, overprotective
mother and no father.
So he comes over here
every morning to play with you?
I knew you'd understand.
I certainly do.
You're interfering.
What do you mean?
His problems are
none of your business.
I'm merely being his friend.
I know you, Samantha.
Oh, really?
You only look
vaguely familiar to me.
No, thank you.
My mother says I'm
allergic to strawberries.
Oh? What happens
when you eat them?
I don't know. I never had any.
Samantha, his mother does
not want him to eat strawberries.
Boy, they sure look good.
How about some juice, Marshall?
Oh, that's right. You can't
have that either. Too acid.
Or French toast. Too
rich. Or sausage or...
I don't mind much
about the juice.
Marshall, why don't
you go on home...
and ask your mother if
you can't try one strawberry?
She'll say no.
How do you know?
She always says no.
Besides, she
doesn't know I'm here.
I'm supposed to be
in my room nursing the
cold I'm probably getting.
Your face isn't flushed.
I'm not even sniffling yet.
See?
You don't have a fever.
Samantha, his mother
says he has a cold.
Yes, dear, I know.
I just meant that his
eyes look perfectly all right.
But his mother
says he has a cold,
and she is his
mother, isn't she?
Oh, yes, she certainly is.
Marshall!
I'm being come after.
Marshall!
Here I am, Ma!
She can run two blocks in
27 seconds with high heels on!
Marshall, I've
been just frantic!
What are you doing here?
I'm Mrs. Stephens. This
is my husband, Mrs. Burns.
Marshall was just visiting.
How do you do?
I told you to stay in your
room. You have a cold.
And if you're too young to
realize how dangerous it is
to run around with a cold,
I should think at least an
adult would recognize it!
But he isn't even sniffling.
I'm sure there was no great
damage done, Mrs. Burns,
but Marshall shouldn't
have disobeyed you.
Well, thank you, Mr. Stephens.
I'm glad to see that at least
you are a sensible person.
Mrs. Burns, all I
tried to do was...
You have no children, Mrs.
Stephens. That's quite obvious.
Oh, it is?
We've only been
married a short time.
Because if you did,
you'd realize that their
health is something precious
that has to be
constantly guarded.
I raise my Marshall
very carefully,
and I do not appreciate
interference from anybody.
Please remember that.
Come along, Marshall.
Samantha!
Bye-bye, Marshall.
Come back any time.
Sam, don't you think
you ought to try to get
your mind off that boy?
Well, I can't help it.
Every time I think of him,
lonely, no friends, can't
play with other children...
They're all carriers, you know.
Sam, I'm just as sorry
for that kid as you are,
but he's not our responsibility.
Now, the best thing
we can do for him
is to discourage him
from hanging around here.
His mother has
certain ideas, and...
Like strawberries are poisonous.
That's her opinion.
And so is French toast.
And so is French toast.
And baseball is a
dangerous game.
And baseball is a...
"Dangerous game"? Baseball?
Oh, I knew you would!
Knew I'd what?
Help him with his baseball.
Not if his mother
doesn't want me to.
But, Darrin... Samantha,
he's not our son.
Well, if we ever do have a son,
and if I ever get
the silly notion
that baseball is dangerous,
I certainly hope that
someone will see to it
that your son doesn't miss
the Junior League
tryouts tomorrow afternoon.
I am playing golf
tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not.
Samantha, will you
please... Yes, I will!
Oh, I knew you'd
want me to go with him.
And if he makes the team,
his mother will change her mind.
Oh, thank you, darling.
Samantha, baseball
is not the issue!
I don't want to talk
about baseball anymore.
Do you?
All right, Freddy, right in
here. Give it right to him.
Aw, a little high.
Now, remember, Marshall.
When you get out there,
all you need is confidence.
You're as good as
you think you are!
Oh, I think I'm pretty good.
The trouble is, I
know I'm pretty bad.
Go on.
Okay, let's try
it again, Freddy.
Uh, how do you do,
uh, Mrs. Stephens?
Oh, hello.
I'm Gladys Kravitz, your
neighbor, remember?
Yes, of course. How
are you, Mrs. Kravitz?
I didn't know you
were interested
in Junior League baseball.
Oh, yes. I came with a friend.
That's my nephew,
Floyd, down there.
Oh, really? Which one?
The beautiful one at bat.
You can practically see
his eyelashes from here.
Belt it, Floyd!
Nobody can pitch to him!
Okay, Jimmy, that's
enough. Come on in.
Okay, Burns. Mound.
Next time, you'll do her, son.
Okay, let's see what
you can do today, huh?
They're not serious!
"Marshmallow" Burns?
His name is Marshall.
Oh, is that your friend?
It is.
Oh, I didn't mean
to laugh. But, well...
"Well" what?
Well, he's always
been afraid of baseball.
He's afraid of his own shadow.
Okay, Burns, let's see what
you can do. Right into his target.
Come on, Marsh!
That's okay. Once more now.
Right in there.
Put it right to him.
Well, you see what I
mean? He can't play.
He's just a little slow
getting started, that's all.
Once more, now. Try to
get it right into his target.
Choke up on your bat.
Watch the ball, Floyd.
Attaboy, Floyd!
Well, maybe if you
worked with Marshmal...
Marshall a little bit.
Well, up to now I've done
everything that was
humanly possible.
Did you see that?
Oh, Mrs. Kravitz, you
ain't seen nothin' yet!
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, darling.
Darrin, Marshall made the team.
You went to the tryouts today?
Yes. And Coach Gribben says
he's gonna be a triple-threat man.
You know what that means?
I certainly do.
It means all three
of us are in trouble
when his mother finds out.
Oh, I should think
she'd be proud of him.
I was. And you
would have been too.
You should've
seen Gladys Kravitz!
Her nephew's the
star of the team.
Up until now, that is.
Just how much did you have to do
with the, uh, athletic
awakening of Marshall Burns?
I just gave him confidence.
What else did you give him?
What else is there?
Oh, well, there's, uh...
that! And there's, uh... that.
And probably a few other
rituals I'm not familiar with yet.
Oh, Darrin, really!
"Oh, Darrin, really" yes?
Or "Oh, Darrin, really" no?
Because if you did, Samantha,
you did that kid
a big disservice.
He's playing in the
opening game tomorrow.
Sam, you can't follow that
kid around the rest of his life,
wiggling and twitching at him.
You've given him false security.
I just tried to get him started.
Then after he plays
with a team for a while,
he'll have a chance to
practice and improve,
and he'll get his
confidence back
and he won't need me anymore.
But, Sam, suppose it
doesn't work that way?
Suppose the poor... What's that?
The backyard gate.
Someone's in the yard.
I'll go with you.
Marshall?
Oh, hi, Mrs. Stephens.
What are you doing here?
Running away from home.
Why?
Oh, because it's a big,
wide, wonderful world
with lots of places to
see and things to do!
And my mother won't
let me play on the team.
Well, why not?
Oh, bats get thrown,
the ball is hard,
the grass is wet,
the sun is hot...
Okay, I get the picture.
Let's go.
Where are we going?
Inside to call his mother
so she can come
and take him home.
Where's Marshall?
He's perfectly all right.
He's in the den
watching television.
I thought it might give us a
chance to talk, Mrs. Burns.
I don't know how he
got out of the house!
What's he doing here?
He was running away, Mrs. Burns.
Running away? Why?
Because you've got him
wrapped in cotton batting
and he's smothering, that's why.
Samantha, Mrs. Burns may be
a very cautious and
concerned mother,
but... SAMANTHA: Concerned?
Well, I don't understand
either one of you.
If you were really concerned,
you'd know how important it is
for a boy his age to have
friends, to be part of a gang,
to be accepted!
You should've seen
his little face shining
when he told me
he'd made that team.
It made me want to cry.
Samantha, I've told
you not to interfere.
Mrs. Burns has every right
to choose her boy's activities.
Well, thank you, Mr. Stephens.
I'm glad to see
that you understand.
I certainly do. You've got to
watch these kids every minute.
And, incidentally, I'd have that trellis
removed from the side of the house.
Trellis?
Yes, he told us
that's how he got out.
Climbing down
that fragile trellis?
Oh, no! I can't believe it!
It's a favorite means of escape
for most boys. Used it myself.
Well, that's very kind
of you to let me know.
I'll have it removed
immediately!
Traitor.
Of course, it might be easier if
you put locks on his windows.
Locks?
Probably be cheaper too.
And a lock on his
door, with only one key.
That way it'd be impossible
for him to get out again.
I don't think that
will be necessary.
There's no sense taking chances.
When a boy feels
like a prisoner,
he'll do anything
to get out again.
Oh, incidentally,
I'd do what I could
to keep him out of the kitchen.
Very dangerous
room, the kitchen.
Marshall doesn't
spend much time there.
There's so few things he can
eat, it hardly seems worthwhile.
Mrs. Stephens!
Oh, and the bathroom!
Worst room in the whole house!
Wouldn't have one in
our home! Too dangerous.
Even worse than baseball.
I've heard all I'm going
to listen to, thank you!
Marshall!
Mrs. Burns, please,
don't get angry.
We were trying to say
that you can't protect
anyone from everything.
Mr. Stephens, and I'll
ask you for the last time,
stay away from my
little boy, you hear me?
You stay away from him.
Or I'll... I'll report you
both to the authorities.
Come on, Marshall.
We're going home!
Darrin?
Forget it, honey.
Just forget it.
Will nothing in this world
stop your interference?
Will nothing?
Just a minute. Calm down,
Mrs. Burns. What's the trouble?
Don't tell me he isn't
here! Don't tell me!
If you're talking about
Marshall, no, he isn't.
Well, where else would he be?
You mean he's run away again?
And this time he didn't even
take his clothes with him!
The game!
The Wildcats are playing
their season's opener today.
Of course! Mrs. Burns,
he's perfectly all right.
He's just gone to the park
to play in the big game.
Oh, do you think
so? I'm certain of it.
Well, then, there's
still time to stop him.
He just left a short while ago.
Mrs. Burns, you don't mean
you're really going to stop him
from playing?
If other mothers realized
how seriously a child
could be hurt out there,
they wouldn't permit it either.
But lots of mothers...
I don't want to hear any more.
Samantha, Mrs. Burns
is right. This is our fault.
I think we should help her.
Mr. Stephens, I don't trust you.
You want to get to
the park, don't you?
Yes. Well, we'll take you.
You don't drive, do
you? Well, of course not.
I didn't think so.
Come on, Sam,
there's no time to lose.
Now, you won't drive
too fast, will you?
No faster than the law allows.
Fifteen miles per
hour, right on the button.
Certainly isn't much
traffic, is there?
There certainly isn't.
But we sure are
making good time.
Seems to me that light's
been red for about 15 minutes.
Do you suppose it's broken?
Oh, I don't think so. It should
change any minute now.
Ah, there it is.
Oh, good.
Ball!
Strike three!
You're out of there.
Okay, Kravitz, get in
there and swing away.
Okay, coach.
Play ball!
Abner, Floyd is up to bat again!
Wonderful.
Well, the least you
could do is look at him.
Why do I have to look at him?
Don't I give him money?
Belt it, Floyd!
Ball!
Marshall? Marshall,
you come here!
Strike one!
Haven't you
anything to say to me?
I pitched three innings,
and I only gave up one hit!
You're kidding!
And I got a single,
and drove in one run!
Ball two!
I'm very proud of you, Marshall.
But you shouldn't have left
without telling your mother
where you were going.
She was very worried about
you. Now, that's not right.
I'm sorry, Ma. But we can
go home now if you want.
All right, Kravitz!
He's safe!
Hey, Abner, look what happened!
The tying run is on base.
Your nephew Floyd hit a double!
Don't yell, Gladys!
Does everybody have
to know our business?
Come on, you're up, Burns.
Get in there and
tear the cover off of it!
I can't, coach.
You can't? What do
you mean, you can't?
What does he mean, he can't?
You better ask his mother.
What does he mean, he can't?
I'm Marshall's mother.
What does he mean, he can't?
What's the matter
with him, Mrs. Burns?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Go on, Marshall.
Belt it, Marsh!
They used to call
him "Marshmallow."
Down in front!
Down! Down! Down!
There they are, Abner. The
Stephens from across the street.
Mm-hm.
I swear to you, there's
something funny about her.
She came here yesterday
with Marshmallow Burns.
Oh, he was miserable.
And before that, he
couldn't do anything.
But since she came along,
he improved 100 percent.
Now, what do you
think about that, Abner?
I think it's entirely possible
the same thing
would happen to me.
Strike one.
Play ball. We want a hit!
Not so much as a
twitch, understand?
No, no, of course not.
He did very well before
we got here, didn't he?
Let's keep it that way.
Come on! Come on!
Strike two!
Belt it, Marshall!
Come on! Run over!
Come on! Come
on! Hit a home run.
Belt it, Marshall.
All right, play ball!
Sam, don't do it.
Let him be on his own and let
the chips fall where they may.
Get me home, Marsh! Get me home!
Come on, Marshall. Come on, boy!
Oh, he'll never make it! He
just can't! I know he can't!
Come on!
Sam, don't you dare!
Oh, Darrin!
Safe!
Did he make it?
I was watching you.
Great play on the ball,
Clark. You're all great.
Marshall! Oh! Oh, Marshall,
your nose is bleeding!
I know, Ma! Ain't it great?
Ha!
That boy of yours
has got a lot of spunk.
What does he mean, he can't?
He's got the makings
of a fine ball player.
Oh, really?
Yes, if his father would
work with him a little.
Oh, I'm a widow, Mr. Gribben.
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe I ought to drop
over and work with him a little.
You know what I mean.
Well, that would be just fine.
Well, if you think it
would be worthwhile.
Wasn't it an exciting
day? Uh-huh.
Aren't you glad you went? I
mean, for Marshall's sake?
Yes, I am. I'm
very proud of him.
And he did it all by
himself. You saw that.
Yes, but you almost slipped.
Uh-huh.
I was crazy about the way you
stopped me. Thank you very much.
The pleasure was all mine.
How about some dinner?
Anything you want!
You just name it.
Chateaubriand, coq
au vin, bouillabaisse.
I'm going to twitch us
up a banquet tonight.
Sam, you promised!
Oh. Well, all right.
Stop me again, and I'll
scramble us up a couple of eggs.
personal guarantee
that finer merchandise
does not exist.
These are absolutely
the finest bristles made.
No, thank you. I
already have a broom.
Believe me, lady, you can
always use an extra one.
No, thank you.
Toothbrushes.
Polish up your smile.
You never know when
people are gonna drop in.
No, really.
The barbecue. Extra-stiff
bristles for the barbecue!
I told you, I already have
all the brooms and
brushes I can use.
That's impossible, lady.
No housewife ever has
enough brooms and brushes.
All right, see for yourself.
Sweetheart, no breakfast
for me. I won't have time.
Oh, but, Darrin!
I'm late, honey.
Something happened to the alarm.
Well, you might
as well relax, dear.
You've missed
your train already.
I have? How do you know?
Have you been, uh...?
No, no. It's watchcraft,
not witchcraft.
Oh.
Well, the next
train isn't till 9:30.
Oh, dear, isn't that a shame!
Well, I guess they'll just have
to muddle through at the office
without you for an hour.
Okay.
And I'll just muddle
around here for a while.
Save my place.
I'll be right back.
Well, good morning.
What can I do for you?
Look, son, I've got a lot on
my mind this morning, so...
Oh, well, hello,
Marshall! What a surprise!
How come? I'm
here every morning.
Who's he?
Well, I live here,
that's who I am.
Who are you?
That's Marshall. He
lives down the street.
I see.
Well, you overshot your mark.
It's okay. I can
stay for breakfast.
But you better not kiss me,
because I've
got a cold, I think.
He's got a problem.
He's got a problem?
What is he doing here?
I'm his only friend
in the neighborhood.
Well, you're my only
wife in the neighborhood.
And I thought we'd have
a nice breakfast together.
Anything I can
do, Mrs. Stephens?
No, no, Marshall.
You go and sit down.
Breakfast is ready.
"Anything I can
do, Mrs. Stephens?"
Darrin, now, try to understand.
He's an unhappy little boy
with a nervous, overprotective
mother and no father.
So he comes over here
every morning to play with you?
I knew you'd understand.
I certainly do.
You're interfering.
What do you mean?
His problems are
none of your business.
I'm merely being his friend.
I know you, Samantha.
Oh, really?
You only look
vaguely familiar to me.
No, thank you.
My mother says I'm
allergic to strawberries.
Oh? What happens
when you eat them?
I don't know. I never had any.
Samantha, his mother does
not want him to eat strawberries.
Boy, they sure look good.
How about some juice, Marshall?
Oh, that's right. You can't
have that either. Too acid.
Or French toast. Too
rich. Or sausage or...
I don't mind much
about the juice.
Marshall, why don't
you go on home...
and ask your mother if
you can't try one strawberry?
She'll say no.
How do you know?
She always says no.
Besides, she
doesn't know I'm here.
I'm supposed to be
in my room nursing the
cold I'm probably getting.
Your face isn't flushed.
I'm not even sniffling yet.
See?
You don't have a fever.
Samantha, his mother
says he has a cold.
Yes, dear, I know.
I just meant that his
eyes look perfectly all right.
But his mother
says he has a cold,
and she is his
mother, isn't she?
Oh, yes, she certainly is.
Marshall!
I'm being come after.
Marshall!
Here I am, Ma!
She can run two blocks in
27 seconds with high heels on!
Marshall, I've
been just frantic!
What are you doing here?
I'm Mrs. Stephens. This
is my husband, Mrs. Burns.
Marshall was just visiting.
How do you do?
I told you to stay in your
room. You have a cold.
And if you're too young to
realize how dangerous it is
to run around with a cold,
I should think at least an
adult would recognize it!
But he isn't even sniffling.
I'm sure there was no great
damage done, Mrs. Burns,
but Marshall shouldn't
have disobeyed you.
Well, thank you, Mr. Stephens.
I'm glad to see that at least
you are a sensible person.
Mrs. Burns, all I
tried to do was...
You have no children, Mrs.
Stephens. That's quite obvious.
Oh, it is?
We've only been
married a short time.
Because if you did,
you'd realize that their
health is something precious
that has to be
constantly guarded.
I raise my Marshall
very carefully,
and I do not appreciate
interference from anybody.
Please remember that.
Come along, Marshall.
Samantha!
Bye-bye, Marshall.
Come back any time.
Sam, don't you think
you ought to try to get
your mind off that boy?
Well, I can't help it.
Every time I think of him,
lonely, no friends, can't
play with other children...
They're all carriers, you know.
Sam, I'm just as sorry
for that kid as you are,
but he's not our responsibility.
Now, the best thing
we can do for him
is to discourage him
from hanging around here.
His mother has
certain ideas, and...
Like strawberries are poisonous.
That's her opinion.
And so is French toast.
And so is French toast.
And baseball is a
dangerous game.
And baseball is a...
"Dangerous game"? Baseball?
Oh, I knew you would!
Knew I'd what?
Help him with his baseball.
Not if his mother
doesn't want me to.
But, Darrin... Samantha,
he's not our son.
Well, if we ever do have a son,
and if I ever get
the silly notion
that baseball is dangerous,
I certainly hope that
someone will see to it
that your son doesn't miss
the Junior League
tryouts tomorrow afternoon.
I am playing golf
tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not.
Samantha, will you
please... Yes, I will!
Oh, I knew you'd
want me to go with him.
And if he makes the team,
his mother will change her mind.
Oh, thank you, darling.
Samantha, baseball
is not the issue!
I don't want to talk
about baseball anymore.
Do you?
All right, Freddy, right in
here. Give it right to him.
Aw, a little high.
Now, remember, Marshall.
When you get out there,
all you need is confidence.
You're as good as
you think you are!
Oh, I think I'm pretty good.
The trouble is, I
know I'm pretty bad.
Go on.
Okay, let's try
it again, Freddy.
Uh, how do you do,
uh, Mrs. Stephens?
Oh, hello.
I'm Gladys Kravitz, your
neighbor, remember?
Yes, of course. How
are you, Mrs. Kravitz?
I didn't know you
were interested
in Junior League baseball.
Oh, yes. I came with a friend.
That's my nephew,
Floyd, down there.
Oh, really? Which one?
The beautiful one at bat.
You can practically see
his eyelashes from here.
Belt it, Floyd!
Nobody can pitch to him!
Okay, Jimmy, that's
enough. Come on in.
Okay, Burns. Mound.
Next time, you'll do her, son.
Okay, let's see what
you can do today, huh?
They're not serious!
"Marshmallow" Burns?
His name is Marshall.
Oh, is that your friend?
It is.
Oh, I didn't mean
to laugh. But, well...
"Well" what?
Well, he's always
been afraid of baseball.
He's afraid of his own shadow.
Okay, Burns, let's see what
you can do. Right into his target.
Come on, Marsh!
That's okay. Once more now.
Right in there.
Put it right to him.
Well, you see what I
mean? He can't play.
He's just a little slow
getting started, that's all.
Once more, now. Try to
get it right into his target.
Choke up on your bat.
Watch the ball, Floyd.
Attaboy, Floyd!
Well, maybe if you
worked with Marshmal...
Marshall a little bit.
Well, up to now I've done
everything that was
humanly possible.
Did you see that?
Oh, Mrs. Kravitz, you
ain't seen nothin' yet!
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, darling.
Darrin, Marshall made the team.
You went to the tryouts today?
Yes. And Coach Gribben says
he's gonna be a triple-threat man.
You know what that means?
I certainly do.
It means all three
of us are in trouble
when his mother finds out.
Oh, I should think
she'd be proud of him.
I was. And you
would have been too.
You should've
seen Gladys Kravitz!
Her nephew's the
star of the team.
Up until now, that is.
Just how much did you have to do
with the, uh, athletic
awakening of Marshall Burns?
I just gave him confidence.
What else did you give him?
What else is there?
Oh, well, there's, uh...
that! And there's, uh... that.
And probably a few other
rituals I'm not familiar with yet.
Oh, Darrin, really!
"Oh, Darrin, really" yes?
Or "Oh, Darrin, really" no?
Because if you did, Samantha,
you did that kid
a big disservice.
He's playing in the
opening game tomorrow.
Sam, you can't follow that
kid around the rest of his life,
wiggling and twitching at him.
You've given him false security.
I just tried to get him started.
Then after he plays
with a team for a while,
he'll have a chance to
practice and improve,
and he'll get his
confidence back
and he won't need me anymore.
But, Sam, suppose it
doesn't work that way?
Suppose the poor... What's that?
The backyard gate.
Someone's in the yard.
I'll go with you.
Marshall?
Oh, hi, Mrs. Stephens.
What are you doing here?
Running away from home.
Why?
Oh, because it's a big,
wide, wonderful world
with lots of places to
see and things to do!
And my mother won't
let me play on the team.
Well, why not?
Oh, bats get thrown,
the ball is hard,
the grass is wet,
the sun is hot...
Okay, I get the picture.
Let's go.
Where are we going?
Inside to call his mother
so she can come
and take him home.
Where's Marshall?
He's perfectly all right.
He's in the den
watching television.
I thought it might give us a
chance to talk, Mrs. Burns.
I don't know how he
got out of the house!
What's he doing here?
He was running away, Mrs. Burns.
Running away? Why?
Because you've got him
wrapped in cotton batting
and he's smothering, that's why.
Samantha, Mrs. Burns may be
a very cautious and
concerned mother,
but... SAMANTHA: Concerned?
Well, I don't understand
either one of you.
If you were really concerned,
you'd know how important it is
for a boy his age to have
friends, to be part of a gang,
to be accepted!
You should've seen
his little face shining
when he told me
he'd made that team.
It made me want to cry.
Samantha, I've told
you not to interfere.
Mrs. Burns has every right
to choose her boy's activities.
Well, thank you, Mr. Stephens.
I'm glad to see
that you understand.
I certainly do. You've got to
watch these kids every minute.
And, incidentally, I'd have that trellis
removed from the side of the house.
Trellis?
Yes, he told us
that's how he got out.
Climbing down
that fragile trellis?
Oh, no! I can't believe it!
It's a favorite means of escape
for most boys. Used it myself.
Well, that's very kind
of you to let me know.
I'll have it removed
immediately!
Traitor.
Of course, it might be easier if
you put locks on his windows.
Locks?
Probably be cheaper too.
And a lock on his
door, with only one key.
That way it'd be impossible
for him to get out again.
I don't think that
will be necessary.
There's no sense taking chances.
When a boy feels
like a prisoner,
he'll do anything
to get out again.
Oh, incidentally,
I'd do what I could
to keep him out of the kitchen.
Very dangerous
room, the kitchen.
Marshall doesn't
spend much time there.
There's so few things he can
eat, it hardly seems worthwhile.
Mrs. Stephens!
Oh, and the bathroom!
Worst room in the whole house!
Wouldn't have one in
our home! Too dangerous.
Even worse than baseball.
I've heard all I'm going
to listen to, thank you!
Marshall!
Mrs. Burns, please,
don't get angry.
We were trying to say
that you can't protect
anyone from everything.
Mr. Stephens, and I'll
ask you for the last time,
stay away from my
little boy, you hear me?
You stay away from him.
Or I'll... I'll report you
both to the authorities.
Come on, Marshall.
We're going home!
Darrin?
Forget it, honey.
Just forget it.
Will nothing in this world
stop your interference?
Will nothing?
Just a minute. Calm down,
Mrs. Burns. What's the trouble?
Don't tell me he isn't
here! Don't tell me!
If you're talking about
Marshall, no, he isn't.
Well, where else would he be?
You mean he's run away again?
And this time he didn't even
take his clothes with him!
The game!
The Wildcats are playing
their season's opener today.
Of course! Mrs. Burns,
he's perfectly all right.
He's just gone to the park
to play in the big game.
Oh, do you think
so? I'm certain of it.
Well, then, there's
still time to stop him.
He just left a short while ago.
Mrs. Burns, you don't mean
you're really going to stop him
from playing?
If other mothers realized
how seriously a child
could be hurt out there,
they wouldn't permit it either.
But lots of mothers...
I don't want to hear any more.
Samantha, Mrs. Burns
is right. This is our fault.
I think we should help her.
Mr. Stephens, I don't trust you.
You want to get to
the park, don't you?
Yes. Well, we'll take you.
You don't drive, do
you? Well, of course not.
I didn't think so.
Come on, Sam,
there's no time to lose.
Now, you won't drive
too fast, will you?
No faster than the law allows.
Fifteen miles per
hour, right on the button.
Certainly isn't much
traffic, is there?
There certainly isn't.
But we sure are
making good time.
Seems to me that light's
been red for about 15 minutes.
Do you suppose it's broken?
Oh, I don't think so. It should
change any minute now.
Ah, there it is.
Oh, good.
Ball!
Strike three!
You're out of there.
Okay, Kravitz, get in
there and swing away.
Okay, coach.
Play ball!
Abner, Floyd is up to bat again!
Wonderful.
Well, the least you
could do is look at him.
Why do I have to look at him?
Don't I give him money?
Belt it, Floyd!
Ball!
Marshall? Marshall,
you come here!
Strike one!
Haven't you
anything to say to me?
I pitched three innings,
and I only gave up one hit!
You're kidding!
And I got a single,
and drove in one run!
Ball two!
I'm very proud of you, Marshall.
But you shouldn't have left
without telling your mother
where you were going.
She was very worried about
you. Now, that's not right.
I'm sorry, Ma. But we can
go home now if you want.
All right, Kravitz!
He's safe!
Hey, Abner, look what happened!
The tying run is on base.
Your nephew Floyd hit a double!
Don't yell, Gladys!
Does everybody have
to know our business?
Come on, you're up, Burns.
Get in there and
tear the cover off of it!
I can't, coach.
You can't? What do
you mean, you can't?
What does he mean, he can't?
You better ask his mother.
What does he mean, he can't?
I'm Marshall's mother.
What does he mean, he can't?
What's the matter
with him, Mrs. Burns?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Go on, Marshall.
Belt it, Marsh!
They used to call
him "Marshmallow."
Down in front!
Down! Down! Down!
There they are, Abner. The
Stephens from across the street.
Mm-hm.
I swear to you, there's
something funny about her.
She came here yesterday
with Marshmallow Burns.
Oh, he was miserable.
And before that, he
couldn't do anything.
But since she came along,
he improved 100 percent.
Now, what do you
think about that, Abner?
I think it's entirely possible
the same thing
would happen to me.
Strike one.
Play ball. We want a hit!
Not so much as a
twitch, understand?
No, no, of course not.
He did very well before
we got here, didn't he?
Let's keep it that way.
Come on! Come on!
Strike two!
Belt it, Marshall!
Come on! Run over!
Come on! Come
on! Hit a home run.
Belt it, Marshall.
All right, play ball!
Sam, don't do it.
Let him be on his own and let
the chips fall where they may.
Get me home, Marsh! Get me home!
Come on, Marshall. Come on, boy!
Oh, he'll never make it! He
just can't! I know he can't!
Come on!
Sam, don't you dare!
Oh, Darrin!
Safe!
Did he make it?
I was watching you.
Great play on the ball,
Clark. You're all great.
Marshall! Oh! Oh, Marshall,
your nose is bleeding!
I know, Ma! Ain't it great?
Ha!
That boy of yours
has got a lot of spunk.
What does he mean, he can't?
He's got the makings
of a fine ball player.
Oh, really?
Yes, if his father would
work with him a little.
Oh, I'm a widow, Mr. Gribben.
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe I ought to drop
over and work with him a little.
You know what I mean.
Well, that would be just fine.
Well, if you think it
would be worthwhile.
Wasn't it an exciting
day? Uh-huh.
Aren't you glad you went? I
mean, for Marshall's sake?
Yes, I am. I'm
very proud of him.
And he did it all by
himself. You saw that.
Yes, but you almost slipped.
Uh-huh.
I was crazy about the way you
stopped me. Thank you very much.
The pleasure was all mine.
How about some dinner?
Anything you want!
You just name it.
Chateaubriand, coq
au vin, bouillabaisse.
I'm going to twitch us
up a banquet tonight.
Sam, you promised!
Oh. Well, all right.
Stop me again, and I'll
scramble us up a couple of eggs.