Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 1, Episode 30 - George the Warlock - full transcript
Samantha's planned relaxing Sunday with Darrin doesn't come off quite according to plan when Darrin gets distracted by Danger O'Riley, their innocently seductive neighbor Pleasure O'Riley's younger but equally innocently seductive sister who is house-sitting while Pleasure is on her honeymoon. Seeing how neglected Samantha feels while Darrin attends to Danger's needs, Endora decides to enlist one of Samantha's old beaus, George, to come and re-sweep her off her feet in turn taking her way from her humdrum mortal life. But when George arrives on the scene, he isn't sure if it's Samantha he wants or Danger. And when Darrin finds out who George is, he feels he has to warn Danger against George. But in this four sided set of relationships, it isn't clear who wants who or who needs to be warned about who.
At what time do you wish to
officially begin our fun-filled Sunday?
- Like, say 11?
- Like, say 11 it is.
Let's sleep late, huh, sweetheart?
And in the afternoon we can do any
crazy, wonderful thing we think of.
Roger. Over and out.
Darrin, promise me, Eagle Scout's
honour, you won't change your mind...
and wish you'd played
golf tomorrow.
Promise. Scout's honour.
Lovely morning.
Lovely.
Locked myself out.
It happens to me all the time.
- I'm afraid it was my fault.
- Your fault?
I distracted you when I said
it was a lovely morning, remember?
Mr. Darrin Stephens, isn't it?
Oh, yes.
- I'm Pleasure O'Riley's baby sister.
- Well, son of a gun.
Holding down the fort
while she's on her honeymoon.
Welcome to Morning Glory Circle,
Miss D. D. O'Riley.
The first D stands for Dora, naturally
too cube to use as my professional...
modelling name,
so I added an extra big D.
- And that stands for?
- Danger.
- Nice to meet you, Danger.
- It's nice to meet you, Darrin.
We seem to have a lot in common,
don't we?
- How's that?
- We're both early risers.
Oh, that, yes.
I hate to wake Sam now...
My wife, but...
Oh, then don't. I have coffee on,
so that's no problem.
By the way, how do you like it?
Your coffee.
On the other hand,
maybe I had better wake her.
Let her get her beauty sleep.
You have a choice.
Strawberry waffles
or blueberry pancakes.
Blueberry pancakes? You're kidding.
That's my favourite breakfast.
How about that?
It's a small world, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Darrin?
Sweetheart?
Good morning, darling.
Thank you for letting me sleep...
After Mom passed away
and Pleasure went to work modelling...
I learned all I know about cooking
from being a Camp Fire girl.
- Are they the way you like them?
- Delicious.
Thanks very much. I just came over
for some coffee.
- Can't let them go to waste, can we?
- Thank you very much.
- Hello.
- Hello.
This is Mrs. Stephens, your neighbour.
Is Mr. Stephens there?
Yes, he's right here.
How do you do, neighbour?
I'm Pleasure O'Riley's baby sister,
Danger O'Riley.
Danger O'Ri...?
Hello, Danger.
It certainly is a pleasure.
I felt guilty this morning when
your husband got locked out...
because I distracted him while
he was getting the paper.
I fed him breakfast to make up for it.
Naturally.
We didn't dare wake you
while you were sleeping.
Boy, what an appetite this husband
of yours has. He's like a lion.
Yes, I know.
Good morning, honey.
Good morning, darling.
It seems you've started
our fun-filled Sunday without me.
How long have you been
baby-sister-sitting?
Just for a short while, dear. I'll be
right there and tell you about it...
- Look at the dishwasher.
- Oh, no. Honey, there's an emergency.
The dam just broke. I'll call you later.
Darrin?
- Where do you turn off your water?
- I don't know.
Well, where do you keep your mops?
Hello.
What's the latest bulletin
from the flood area?
Gee, I'm sorry to borrow Darrin
this long, Mrs. Stephens...
but the Jiffy Plumbing Company
is just taking forever to get here.
Darrin is such a dream
about helping me mop up the kitchen.
Isn't that sweet?
Sweetheart...
The trouble, you see, is it's Sunday.
Well, don't worry, Darrin. Let's all wait
a little longer, and it'll be Monday.
Yes... Goodbye.
- Hello, George.
- Endora.
I hope I'm not interrupting
your nice little party.
Not at all, I'm just resting. What's the
happy reason for this surprise visit?
It's your old playmate Samantha...
and I'm afraid
it's not all that happy.
If you could have seen the sad look
on the face of my poor lost child...
playing solitaire.
Samantha reduced to solitaire?
I don't believe it.
To Samantha,
the only one that got away.
How my daughter can prefer
that terrestrial existence...
to gracious living in a land
of endless enchantment...
and married to that mundane mortal,
is more than I...
- Warlock George.
- Endora.
You are giving birth to an idea
of incredible devilment...
with me, I trust, in the star role?
I, Endora...
do beseech you, George,
dream prince of mischief...
to rescue Samantha
from suburbian solitaire...
by zeroing down on
1164 Morning Glory Circle...
and wooing my delinquent
witch daughter back to her senses.
A perfectly wizard notion Endora.
Shall I go as a wolf?
No. It's too obvious.
Why not your old nimbus, the one
that so inspired Edgar Allan Poe.
Wizard.
Solitaire for Samantha nevermore.
That's my boy.
Go on, go to it.
That's the way.
Sam, I am sorry about yesterday,
but I obviously couldn't leave...
that kid all alone
with the kitchen flooded.
How true.
I had no idea Jiffy Plumbing Company
would take three hours to get there.
- That's probably Miss O'Riley now.
- Who else?
Sam, she doesn't have a car,
and she has a very important...
modelling engagement.
I offered to give her a lift.
Well, you mustn't keep Lolita waiting.
Gee, Darrin, I hate to rush, but would
you mind hurrying? I'm almost late.
Hi, Mrs. Stephens.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
Anything I can bring you tonight?
Yes, a new deck of cards.
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye, darling.
- George. Well, I should've known.
- Hi there, Cinderella.
Your prince charming has come
to take you to the ball we used to have.
- What are you doing here, George?
- What are you doing here, Samantha?
- I live here.
- You merely exist here.
I felt the vibrations of your
unhappiness all the way up there.
So I decided to swoop down
like Lochinvar and...
Like Lucifer.
Listen, my fine-feathered friend...
I'm not supposed to be happy
every minute. I'm married.
Got the message. I decided to rescue
you from your gilded, domestic cage.
George, for old times' sake,
do me one last favour.
Disappear.
With you by my side, wild heart.
Forget it, George. I'd rather be
a contented Earth woman...
married to a mortal any day.
And that's that.
Samantha, I've been put
on this earth for one purpose:
To eliminate your stale negatives...
and accentuate
your old bewitching positives.
George, what...?
George, please.
Basic black. Now, that suits you.
Okay. Bye-bye, blackbird.
Unfold those gossamer wings...
and fly back home to my mama,
who put you up to this.
Oh, Mother, when are you
going to stop?
This is my life, and I am deliriously
happy, married to that normal...
kind, loving...
only-on-occasion-thoughtful human,
Darrin Stephens.
- I give up.
- You do?
- Before I leave...
- You will vanish this instant.
Otherwise, I will be forced
to use drastic methods.
What kind of magic
is that supposed to be?
This is a wedding ring.
Good.
Hi there, birdie. Cute little bird.
Bye-bye, birdie.
Well, then, how about this, fellas?
"Here's the key
to your secretary's happiness...
a new electric
Feather Touch typewriter."
- Well, Darrin, so far...
- So bad.
I wouldn't say that, Stephens.
- A layout like that could be very...
- Adequate, Porterfield?
If the client marks us mediocre,
we can say bye-bye...
to the Feather Touch account.
So all McMann & Tate has to do is
come up with a new sales campaign...
that's merely brilliant.
They will sign that new deal...
for 2 million in gross billings.
Feather Touch. Feather Touch.
A brand-new electric typewriter
that requires a new image...
for billboards along freeways...
magazine copy,
television commercials.
An eye-grabbing trademark
that will talk to the customer.
And when we find the perfect image,
it could be under our nose.
Darrin, you have a match?
- Will you look at that bird?
- I'm looking.
Right under our noses?
Darrin boy, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Larry boy, I am thinking
what you're thinking.
What a perfect product image
for a series of TV commercials.
Will you look at that crazy crow?
That sweet bird, play that keyboard...
like music from a cash register.
Boys, the copy should write itself.
"We're raven about Feather Touch.
You will too."
A cartoon balloon from the raven's
mouth, Edgar Allan Poe style:
"Nevermore any problems
for your secretary."
I'll buy that, until you can think
of something better.
Miss Thatcher,
will you come in please?
Will you find a pet shop
that's open...
and order a large cage
for this raven...
and a sack of their best birdseed?
Mr. Stephens will pick it up.
Yes, sir.
- Did I hear you right, Mr. Tate?
- You heard me right, Miss Thatcher. Go.
Gentlemen, I like this bird.
He'll be a credit to Madison Avenue.
Look at him.
- There, in all his commercial glory...
- Piquant bankable charm...
Stands our new
Feather Touch trademark.
Go to work, Darrin. It's your account.
From now on, this bird is your baby.
- Samantha? Sam?
- Yes, darling?
Surprise, surprise, we have
a houseguest. You'll never guess who.
Danger O'Riley.
Oh, come on, honey.
It's our new $2 million trademark
for the Feather Touch account.
Ta-da!
A fantastic raven. Wait till you see the
tricks he does. You'll never believe it.
Maybe I will.
Do everything you can
to keep him happy, won't you?
If our brainstorm works out and the
sketches I intend to make tonight jell...
- Tonight? Here?
- Yeah.
- Is there a window open someplace?
- In the bedroom.
I better close it before I let him out.
I think our bedroom closet might be
the safest place for him to sleep.
I don't think so.
How about that? He also croaks
"Bird in a Gilded Cage."
I intend to catch him
in all his cute moods.
You've caught him in one right now.
Darrin, I wanna talk to you.
Come down here right away.
- Darrin, this is no ordinary bird.
- You're right, he's a genius.
Honey, don't tell me you're afraid
of this charming fella.
Look at that. How can you resist him?
It's easy. Okay, genius, the jig's up.
Darrin, you're entitled to the truth.
I used to date this funny bird.
Darrin Stephens, I'd like you
to meet George...
the mischief-making home-wrecker.
Charmed to meet you in the flesh,
advertising man.
But he... How could he...?
Why did he...?
Honey, Larry and I, we...
I gotta get another bird!
Oh, Sam, am I losing my mind?
No, you're not,
and you're not losing me either.
I give you my word
that my meddling mother...
is not going to break up
this human home.
All right, Endora,
where are you hiding?
Let's have this out right now,
face to face.
Oh, let's.
- Just when is this going to stop?
- Now, now, Darrin...
there's no need to shout
and get yourself all upset.
Upset? Will you be quiet
for a minute?
Can't you see how happy we are?
Doesn't that mean anything?
All I've seen lately is that fun Sunday
you didn't have with my daughter.
You turned her into the solitaire
champion of the universe.
Yesterday could not be helped.
It was an accident.
Danger O'Riley.
Some accident.
I'll take care of you later.
No, look, Endora,
I realize that into every life...
a little rain must fall,
but this is ridiculous.
You have personally set back
the mother-in-law business 200 years.
- Mother.
- What?
For my sake, will you please go
and take this big loon with you?
Good.
If you don't get out,
I'm gonna throw you out.
Darrin, don't.
- That's in bad taste, George.
- I think he's kind of cute.
- Tell the truth, I like him better that way.
- George, please.
Darrin, would you answer that?
Darrin, I hope I'm not disturbing you,
but do you know what I just did?
You agreed to sell
Girl Scout cookies door to door.
No. I had a roast in the oven,
and I was opening the door...
and it just fell off
and went... just like that.
I hate to impose on you.
I see you're entertaining.
Our guest was just leaving.
Then do you mind, Mrs. Stephens,
if Darrin tries to fix it? He's so handy.
May I volunteer to aid
a beautiful lady in distress?
Samantha may be
the world's greatest solitaire player...
but I happened to have majored
in oven doors at Oxford.
You did?
Danger O'Riley, I'd like you
to meet George Raven.
George Raven. What a funny name.
But it's awfully sweet of you. Bye.
- Isn't that sweet?
- I'm not so sure.
I just opened the oven door,
and it went... just like that.
Just like that.
Hey, aren't you Mr. Wonderful?
And you learned it all
at Oxford, Mr. Raven.
Soda or water?
Soda, please.
Sam, will you look at this?
I think she's invited that big spook
to stay till dinner.
I invited you to dinner once,
remember?
What's wrong with a witch
being attracted to a mortal?
You did the honourable thing.
You told me what you were...
so I was able to cope with this...
This...
Copeless situation.
- Miss O'Riley?
- Yes, Mr. Raven?
You're a sweet human being...
along with being very beautiful.
Even though you're from Oxford,
you needn't be so formal.
Call me Danger if you like.
Well, I like.
But you may change your mind
when you find out that I'm a warlock.
Oh, well...
- You are?
- Yes.
Well, so?
This is a free country, isn't it?
Anyone has the right
to go to the church of their choice.
Look, Sam...
Can't we try to be adult
about this situation?
I'm game. You start.
Come on, Sam, it's only natural
to be concerned when a naive kid...
- like Danger O'Riley...
- Naive? My fat Aunt Harriett.
I didn't know you had
an Aunt Harriett.
"Warlock. Deceiver,
a breaker of his word...
a name for the devil, a male witch."
- A monster, malicious imp, demon.
Aren't you being too hard on yourself,
George? Nobody's perfect.
Miss O'Riley, you are a true innocent.
At this stage of our budding
relationship, gallantry impels me...
to demonstrate the dangerous extent
of my powers.
Hey!
That's very good, George.
I think I know how it's done.
I used to go with a magician.
He taught me this one.
See?
I didn't go with him very long.
What are you going to do?
If you won't warn that kid
she's entertaining a warlock, I will.
I wouldn't do that if I...
- You're not.
- Hi again, Stephenses.
We found each other.
Would you like to help us celebrate?
I destroyed your campaign, chum.
The least I can do is repair your spirit.
I can always find a new bird,
but talking about spirits...
Did you tell her, George?
Oh, sure, he tried to put me off
with all those little tricks.
But I say when a person is attracted
to another one, why fight it?
George, you failed me.
Endora, you can't win them all.
Whatever happened to your old
black magic, your old fatal charm?
Let's face it,
his was stronger than mine.
Or words to that effect.
Now will you ever doubt
that I love you only?
Nevermore.
officially begin our fun-filled Sunday?
- Like, say 11?
- Like, say 11 it is.
Let's sleep late, huh, sweetheart?
And in the afternoon we can do any
crazy, wonderful thing we think of.
Roger. Over and out.
Darrin, promise me, Eagle Scout's
honour, you won't change your mind...
and wish you'd played
golf tomorrow.
Promise. Scout's honour.
Lovely morning.
Lovely.
Locked myself out.
It happens to me all the time.
- I'm afraid it was my fault.
- Your fault?
I distracted you when I said
it was a lovely morning, remember?
Mr. Darrin Stephens, isn't it?
Oh, yes.
- I'm Pleasure O'Riley's baby sister.
- Well, son of a gun.
Holding down the fort
while she's on her honeymoon.
Welcome to Morning Glory Circle,
Miss D. D. O'Riley.
The first D stands for Dora, naturally
too cube to use as my professional...
modelling name,
so I added an extra big D.
- And that stands for?
- Danger.
- Nice to meet you, Danger.
- It's nice to meet you, Darrin.
We seem to have a lot in common,
don't we?
- How's that?
- We're both early risers.
Oh, that, yes.
I hate to wake Sam now...
My wife, but...
Oh, then don't. I have coffee on,
so that's no problem.
By the way, how do you like it?
Your coffee.
On the other hand,
maybe I had better wake her.
Let her get her beauty sleep.
You have a choice.
Strawberry waffles
or blueberry pancakes.
Blueberry pancakes? You're kidding.
That's my favourite breakfast.
How about that?
It's a small world, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Darrin?
Sweetheart?
Good morning, darling.
Thank you for letting me sleep...
After Mom passed away
and Pleasure went to work modelling...
I learned all I know about cooking
from being a Camp Fire girl.
- Are they the way you like them?
- Delicious.
Thanks very much. I just came over
for some coffee.
- Can't let them go to waste, can we?
- Thank you very much.
- Hello.
- Hello.
This is Mrs. Stephens, your neighbour.
Is Mr. Stephens there?
Yes, he's right here.
How do you do, neighbour?
I'm Pleasure O'Riley's baby sister,
Danger O'Riley.
Danger O'Ri...?
Hello, Danger.
It certainly is a pleasure.
I felt guilty this morning when
your husband got locked out...
because I distracted him while
he was getting the paper.
I fed him breakfast to make up for it.
Naturally.
We didn't dare wake you
while you were sleeping.
Boy, what an appetite this husband
of yours has. He's like a lion.
Yes, I know.
Good morning, honey.
Good morning, darling.
It seems you've started
our fun-filled Sunday without me.
How long have you been
baby-sister-sitting?
Just for a short while, dear. I'll be
right there and tell you about it...
- Look at the dishwasher.
- Oh, no. Honey, there's an emergency.
The dam just broke. I'll call you later.
Darrin?
- Where do you turn off your water?
- I don't know.
Well, where do you keep your mops?
Hello.
What's the latest bulletin
from the flood area?
Gee, I'm sorry to borrow Darrin
this long, Mrs. Stephens...
but the Jiffy Plumbing Company
is just taking forever to get here.
Darrin is such a dream
about helping me mop up the kitchen.
Isn't that sweet?
Sweetheart...
The trouble, you see, is it's Sunday.
Well, don't worry, Darrin. Let's all wait
a little longer, and it'll be Monday.
Yes... Goodbye.
- Hello, George.
- Endora.
I hope I'm not interrupting
your nice little party.
Not at all, I'm just resting. What's the
happy reason for this surprise visit?
It's your old playmate Samantha...
and I'm afraid
it's not all that happy.
If you could have seen the sad look
on the face of my poor lost child...
playing solitaire.
Samantha reduced to solitaire?
I don't believe it.
To Samantha,
the only one that got away.
How my daughter can prefer
that terrestrial existence...
to gracious living in a land
of endless enchantment...
and married to that mundane mortal,
is more than I...
- Warlock George.
- Endora.
You are giving birth to an idea
of incredible devilment...
with me, I trust, in the star role?
I, Endora...
do beseech you, George,
dream prince of mischief...
to rescue Samantha
from suburbian solitaire...
by zeroing down on
1164 Morning Glory Circle...
and wooing my delinquent
witch daughter back to her senses.
A perfectly wizard notion Endora.
Shall I go as a wolf?
No. It's too obvious.
Why not your old nimbus, the one
that so inspired Edgar Allan Poe.
Wizard.
Solitaire for Samantha nevermore.
That's my boy.
Go on, go to it.
That's the way.
Sam, I am sorry about yesterday,
but I obviously couldn't leave...
that kid all alone
with the kitchen flooded.
How true.
I had no idea Jiffy Plumbing Company
would take three hours to get there.
- That's probably Miss O'Riley now.
- Who else?
Sam, she doesn't have a car,
and she has a very important...
modelling engagement.
I offered to give her a lift.
Well, you mustn't keep Lolita waiting.
Gee, Darrin, I hate to rush, but would
you mind hurrying? I'm almost late.
Hi, Mrs. Stephens.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
Anything I can bring you tonight?
Yes, a new deck of cards.
- Bye, sweetheart.
- Bye, darling.
- George. Well, I should've known.
- Hi there, Cinderella.
Your prince charming has come
to take you to the ball we used to have.
- What are you doing here, George?
- What are you doing here, Samantha?
- I live here.
- You merely exist here.
I felt the vibrations of your
unhappiness all the way up there.
So I decided to swoop down
like Lochinvar and...
Like Lucifer.
Listen, my fine-feathered friend...
I'm not supposed to be happy
every minute. I'm married.
Got the message. I decided to rescue
you from your gilded, domestic cage.
George, for old times' sake,
do me one last favour.
Disappear.
With you by my side, wild heart.
Forget it, George. I'd rather be
a contented Earth woman...
married to a mortal any day.
And that's that.
Samantha, I've been put
on this earth for one purpose:
To eliminate your stale negatives...
and accentuate
your old bewitching positives.
George, what...?
George, please.
Basic black. Now, that suits you.
Okay. Bye-bye, blackbird.
Unfold those gossamer wings...
and fly back home to my mama,
who put you up to this.
Oh, Mother, when are you
going to stop?
This is my life, and I am deliriously
happy, married to that normal...
kind, loving...
only-on-occasion-thoughtful human,
Darrin Stephens.
- I give up.
- You do?
- Before I leave...
- You will vanish this instant.
Otherwise, I will be forced
to use drastic methods.
What kind of magic
is that supposed to be?
This is a wedding ring.
Good.
Hi there, birdie. Cute little bird.
Bye-bye, birdie.
Well, then, how about this, fellas?
"Here's the key
to your secretary's happiness...
a new electric
Feather Touch typewriter."
- Well, Darrin, so far...
- So bad.
I wouldn't say that, Stephens.
- A layout like that could be very...
- Adequate, Porterfield?
If the client marks us mediocre,
we can say bye-bye...
to the Feather Touch account.
So all McMann & Tate has to do is
come up with a new sales campaign...
that's merely brilliant.
They will sign that new deal...
for 2 million in gross billings.
Feather Touch. Feather Touch.
A brand-new electric typewriter
that requires a new image...
for billboards along freeways...
magazine copy,
television commercials.
An eye-grabbing trademark
that will talk to the customer.
And when we find the perfect image,
it could be under our nose.
Darrin, you have a match?
- Will you look at that bird?
- I'm looking.
Right under our noses?
Darrin boy, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Larry boy, I am thinking
what you're thinking.
What a perfect product image
for a series of TV commercials.
Will you look at that crazy crow?
That sweet bird, play that keyboard...
like music from a cash register.
Boys, the copy should write itself.
"We're raven about Feather Touch.
You will too."
A cartoon balloon from the raven's
mouth, Edgar Allan Poe style:
"Nevermore any problems
for your secretary."
I'll buy that, until you can think
of something better.
Miss Thatcher,
will you come in please?
Will you find a pet shop
that's open...
and order a large cage
for this raven...
and a sack of their best birdseed?
Mr. Stephens will pick it up.
Yes, sir.
- Did I hear you right, Mr. Tate?
- You heard me right, Miss Thatcher. Go.
Gentlemen, I like this bird.
He'll be a credit to Madison Avenue.
Look at him.
- There, in all his commercial glory...
- Piquant bankable charm...
Stands our new
Feather Touch trademark.
Go to work, Darrin. It's your account.
From now on, this bird is your baby.
- Samantha? Sam?
- Yes, darling?
Surprise, surprise, we have
a houseguest. You'll never guess who.
Danger O'Riley.
Oh, come on, honey.
It's our new $2 million trademark
for the Feather Touch account.
Ta-da!
A fantastic raven. Wait till you see the
tricks he does. You'll never believe it.
Maybe I will.
Do everything you can
to keep him happy, won't you?
If our brainstorm works out and the
sketches I intend to make tonight jell...
- Tonight? Here?
- Yeah.
- Is there a window open someplace?
- In the bedroom.
I better close it before I let him out.
I think our bedroom closet might be
the safest place for him to sleep.
I don't think so.
How about that? He also croaks
"Bird in a Gilded Cage."
I intend to catch him
in all his cute moods.
You've caught him in one right now.
Darrin, I wanna talk to you.
Come down here right away.
- Darrin, this is no ordinary bird.
- You're right, he's a genius.
Honey, don't tell me you're afraid
of this charming fella.
Look at that. How can you resist him?
It's easy. Okay, genius, the jig's up.
Darrin, you're entitled to the truth.
I used to date this funny bird.
Darrin Stephens, I'd like you
to meet George...
the mischief-making home-wrecker.
Charmed to meet you in the flesh,
advertising man.
But he... How could he...?
Why did he...?
Honey, Larry and I, we...
I gotta get another bird!
Oh, Sam, am I losing my mind?
No, you're not,
and you're not losing me either.
I give you my word
that my meddling mother...
is not going to break up
this human home.
All right, Endora,
where are you hiding?
Let's have this out right now,
face to face.
Oh, let's.
- Just when is this going to stop?
- Now, now, Darrin...
there's no need to shout
and get yourself all upset.
Upset? Will you be quiet
for a minute?
Can't you see how happy we are?
Doesn't that mean anything?
All I've seen lately is that fun Sunday
you didn't have with my daughter.
You turned her into the solitaire
champion of the universe.
Yesterday could not be helped.
It was an accident.
Danger O'Riley.
Some accident.
I'll take care of you later.
No, look, Endora,
I realize that into every life...
a little rain must fall,
but this is ridiculous.
You have personally set back
the mother-in-law business 200 years.
- Mother.
- What?
For my sake, will you please go
and take this big loon with you?
Good.
If you don't get out,
I'm gonna throw you out.
Darrin, don't.
- That's in bad taste, George.
- I think he's kind of cute.
- Tell the truth, I like him better that way.
- George, please.
Darrin, would you answer that?
Darrin, I hope I'm not disturbing you,
but do you know what I just did?
You agreed to sell
Girl Scout cookies door to door.
No. I had a roast in the oven,
and I was opening the door...
and it just fell off
and went... just like that.
I hate to impose on you.
I see you're entertaining.
Our guest was just leaving.
Then do you mind, Mrs. Stephens,
if Darrin tries to fix it? He's so handy.
May I volunteer to aid
a beautiful lady in distress?
Samantha may be
the world's greatest solitaire player...
but I happened to have majored
in oven doors at Oxford.
You did?
Danger O'Riley, I'd like you
to meet George Raven.
George Raven. What a funny name.
But it's awfully sweet of you. Bye.
- Isn't that sweet?
- I'm not so sure.
I just opened the oven door,
and it went... just like that.
Just like that.
Hey, aren't you Mr. Wonderful?
And you learned it all
at Oxford, Mr. Raven.
Soda or water?
Soda, please.
Sam, will you look at this?
I think she's invited that big spook
to stay till dinner.
I invited you to dinner once,
remember?
What's wrong with a witch
being attracted to a mortal?
You did the honourable thing.
You told me what you were...
so I was able to cope with this...
This...
Copeless situation.
- Miss O'Riley?
- Yes, Mr. Raven?
You're a sweet human being...
along with being very beautiful.
Even though you're from Oxford,
you needn't be so formal.
Call me Danger if you like.
Well, I like.
But you may change your mind
when you find out that I'm a warlock.
Oh, well...
- You are?
- Yes.
Well, so?
This is a free country, isn't it?
Anyone has the right
to go to the church of their choice.
Look, Sam...
Can't we try to be adult
about this situation?
I'm game. You start.
Come on, Sam, it's only natural
to be concerned when a naive kid...
- like Danger O'Riley...
- Naive? My fat Aunt Harriett.
I didn't know you had
an Aunt Harriett.
"Warlock. Deceiver,
a breaker of his word...
a name for the devil, a male witch."
- A monster, malicious imp, demon.
Aren't you being too hard on yourself,
George? Nobody's perfect.
Miss O'Riley, you are a true innocent.
At this stage of our budding
relationship, gallantry impels me...
to demonstrate the dangerous extent
of my powers.
Hey!
That's very good, George.
I think I know how it's done.
I used to go with a magician.
He taught me this one.
See?
I didn't go with him very long.
What are you going to do?
If you won't warn that kid
she's entertaining a warlock, I will.
I wouldn't do that if I...
- You're not.
- Hi again, Stephenses.
We found each other.
Would you like to help us celebrate?
I destroyed your campaign, chum.
The least I can do is repair your spirit.
I can always find a new bird,
but talking about spirits...
Did you tell her, George?
Oh, sure, he tried to put me off
with all those little tricks.
But I say when a person is attracted
to another one, why fight it?
George, you failed me.
Endora, you can't win them all.
Whatever happened to your old
black magic, your old fatal charm?
Let's face it,
his was stronger than mine.
Or words to that effect.
Now will you ever doubt
that I love you only?
Nevermore.