Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 1, Episode 28 - Open the Door, Witchcraft - full transcript

Automatic doors
by Magi-Door Company...

- Thank you.
- the automatic door manufactured...

that can be opened
as far as a mile away.

And as you approach your garage, you
merely press the button in your car...

like so...

and presto,
the garage door is open.

Presto, the garage door is closed.

- How do you like that for magic?
- Not bad.

I have some brochures here
that explain everything.

Would you like to take one home?

Abner, Samantha Stephens.



I'll see you at the car, Abner.

- You all right?
- I think so.

Didn't you read?
This door is out of order.

Not for Samantha Stephens, it isn't.
How is that, Abner?

- Tell me. Please explain it to me.
- I'll explain it you. You're out of order.

Abner, did you see that?

Now, that's what I call magic.

She opened the garage door.

So, what do you want me to do,
applaud?

No, no, she opened it,
no hands, nothing.

- She just sat there.
- Why don't you stop.

They probably got an electric door like
they demonstrated down at the market.

I don't believe it.
She opens doors without electricity.

Somebody ought to tell the electric
company. They're losing a bundle.



I'm losing a bundle on you.
I have to pay for a glass door.

Eye glasses, lessons on how to read
would be cheaper.

All right, go ahead and joke.
I'm telling you, she's strange.

- She's strange? You're strange.
- So prove it.

- Prove you're strange?
- Prove they've got an electric door.

- How?
- Go over and ask them.

I will. Tonight I'll go.

Why do you have to wait
until tonight?

Because if I have to look like an idiot,
I'd rather do it in the dark.

I don't know, Sam, this is expensive.
I can make do with my old rod and reel.

You cannot make do
with your old rod and reel.

This is your vacation.
You've earned it and deserve the best.

- I have spoken.
- Like a true and loving wife.

Which, by an odd coincidence,
I just happen to be.

Best odd coincidence I ever heard of.

Somebody's timing leaves
much to be desired.

Much.

- Well, hi, Mr. Kravitz.
- Hello, Mr. Stephens.

- Come in.
- No. No, thank you.

I just stopped by for a second.
I wanted to ask you about your door.

- Our door?
- Pretty nice.

I've been thinking of getting one too.
You recommend it?

- Why, no house should be without one.
- Wait a minute.

I'm not talking about this door.
I was talking about your garage door.

- Our garage door?
- I'm thinking of getting one.

And today when my wife and I
saw yours work...

- Ours work?
- Your electric door.

Samantha.

Was our electric garage door
working today, sweetheart?

- Only once.
- Only once. That's what I'm afraid of.

Some of these new gimmicks,
they haven't got the kinks out yet.

Did you get yours from the guy
at the market?

I forget.

Which market did we
get ours from, sweetheart?

- Do you mind if I have a look at it?
- Look at it?

Well, there's no point in looking
at it tonight...

it's so dark out,
especially with it not working.

Why don't you come back
tomorrow night.

We'll give you a full demonstration.

Yes. Thank you.

Darling...

- what are you going to do?
- Do?

It's simple.

I'll have to buy one new
electric garage door...

and make do
with one old rod and reel.

You ready, Max?

Okay, now. Three, two, one, zero.

A-okay, Noel.

Be my guest.

Well, that wraps it up, lady.

- Wear it in good health.
- Just what I've always wanted.

Only not really.

You know you can be as far
as a block away and open that door?

Is that so? That's hard to believe.

Well, your husband should be
very pleased with it.

I don't think so.
He didn't wanna buy it for himself.

- He didn't?
- No.

That's why you had it put in, huh?

- We had it put in for the neighbours.
- That makes sense.

Not to me, it doesn't.

Bye.

Ain't it a shame?
Always the good-looking ones.

Here, they come up empty.

I was just thinking
of that installation on Maple.

I put in one of these doors and tuned in
the receiver just a little bit wrong.

- What happened?
- I got tuned in on the aircraft bands.

- An aircraft band?
- Every time a plane went overhead...

and the pilot turned on the radio,
it opened the Brians' garage door.

It was a real fluke.

I probably couldn't do it again
if I tried.

I closed that.

At least I thought I did.

I know I did.

All right, have it your own way.
Stay open.

- Hello, dear.
- Oh, hi, Moth...

- I should have known.
- What are you talking about?

You're the one that's been opening
and closing my garage door.

I've been doing nothing of the kind.

Oh, really, Samantha,
if I was starved for entertainment...

I certainly could conjure up
something more amusing than that.

Then who has been doing it?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Now, what's all this nonsense
about garage doors, anyway?

Well, it's a long, dull story, Mother.

I made the mistake of flipping ours
open, and Gladys Kravitz saw me.

- Is that the story?
- Just about.

Well, it's not long,
but it certainly is dull.

Darrin was afraid that Mrs. Kravitz's
curiosity might lead to trouble.

He gave up his fishing equipment
and bought this gadget for the door.

That is sad.

That's the longest, dullest,
saddest story I've ever heard.

But if that's
all that's troubling you...

I'll fix it.

Oh, my stars.

All right, Mother, your little joke
is over, now take all this stuff away.

I thought you said Dobbin needed
new fishing equipment.

- Dobbin is a horse.
- Yes.

Darrin is my husband, and he wants
fishing equipment he pays for himself.

Abner!

All right. All right, Samantha.
No lectures, please.

Good.

Look for yourself.
I never saw anything like it.

Stop pushing. I know that
when I turn my head to look...

there will be nothing there.

Stop talking.
Get up on that thing and look.

- Like I said, there's nothing there.
- What?

But I saw it.

It was a room full of poles
and reels and fish.

With a sailfish this big,
and rubber boots. Hey!

- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, darling.

- You're late.
- I know. I missed the bus.

That's another thing
we can blame on that door.

- Another thing?
- Yes.

If you hadn't had to leave the car
to have that thing installed... Oh, well.

Hurry up.

I tried to call you,
but you were in a meeting.

- Why, what's the matter?
- That door.

I wondered why you left it open.

You mean it's open again?

That's the fifth time today.
That's what I mean.

- What's what you mean?
- Well, it keeps opening and closing...

opening and closing all by itself.

At first, I thought
Mother was responsible...

but she swears she isn't.

Then I thought it might be the kids
in the neighbourhood fooling around...

so I watched, but no kids.

No kids, huh?

No. They were all in school.

Really, Darrin, it's strange.
There was nobody around...

nobody around for miles.

And the door kept opening and closing
all by itself, huh?

Exactly.

It's eerie. It gives me the creeps.

- What do you suggest we do about it?
- Well, that's the best part.

The solution to all our problems.

Well, there's obviously something
the matter with that darn door...

- defective or something, so...
- So?

So we call the company
after we've shown it to the Kravitzs...

to prove we really had one.

We show them that it doesn't work,
which we established last night.

We make the company
take back the door...

they return the money, and you get
your rod and reel as planned.

- Marvellous?
- Marvellous.

That was a nice touch
about your mother.

And I like the bit about the kids too.
It gave it a note of reality.

Darrin, don't you believe me?

Even if it were true, the company
wouldn't give us our money back.

They'd just fix the door, that's all.

What do you mean "if it were true"?

Come on, honey,
we've gotta get going.

Darrin.

Sweetheart, will you come on?

Darrin.

Darrin.

Darling, I appreciate
why you wanna do this.

I know you feel guilty about
our having to buy that door.

It's generous of you
to wanna make it up to me.

But you can't do it with this.
That would be cheating.

If you put a... on that door and threw
the mechanism out of whack...

the company will have to pay for it.

You don't believe me.

I want you to put your nose
out to pasture.

- Now you're being ridiculous.
- I am not being ridiculous.

As a matter of fact, I'm not suggesting,
requesting, not even putting in a plea.

I am commanding. Calmly,
but commanding. No more witchcraft.

No matter how tempted
or provoked you may be.

- You mean like now.
- That's right. Even like now.

- Sam.
- Darrin.

If you don't listen to me,
we're going to have a fight.

If you don't do as I ask,
we're going to have a war.

All right.

All right. Believe me...

nothing in this world could ever
make me resort to witchcraft again.

Not after this.

- Shall we go?
- Thank you.

Abner, they just came out of the house.
They're getting into the car.

- Who?
- The Stephens.

You interrupted Johann Sebastian Bach
to deliver that startling bulletin?

- I think they're going out together.
- Well, that's nice. They're married.

- Where is it?
- What?

The button.

Thank you.

What's the matter?

It's... Nothing the matter.

It's out of kilter or something.

- I'll let it rest for a minute.
- Oh, by all means.

We wouldn't want to tire it out.

Now.

- It's dead.
- In this marvellous door?

If you hadn't played around with it
this afternoon...

It either operates electronically
or manually.

I suggest that if we're going to get
to the Tates' this evening...

- you open it manually.
- That's what I'm doing.

- They'll hear you.
- Well, I've got nothing to hide.

I do. I don't want them
peeking over here...

while I'm spying on them,
so don't play.

Well, let me know when they go.

They're just sitting in the car
in the garage.

Good.

Should I go back to Bach, or would
you rather hear "Cheek to Cheek"?

What would you like, Gladys?
Make a request.

Don't play.

Wait a minute.

- Where's the switch?
- What switch?

To put it on manual. Can't operate it
manually unless you turn off...

- They never talked about a switch.
- You didn't ask?

- It's gotta be around here somewhere.
- Outside, maybe.

They don't put them outside,
they put them inside...

in case somebody gets trapped
in the garage.

How could anyone get trapped
in a garage?

Well, they could have a short,
like we have...

and they might not be able
to find the switch, like we can't...

and they might get trapped
in the garage, like we are.

Sam, we gotta get out of here.

- How?
- I don't know how.

Sure I do.

- Go ahead.
- Go ahead what?

You know.

- Open the door.
- You're kidding.

- Do I look like I'm kidding?
- You made me swear.

My solemn oath. My vow.

But this is an emergency.

You said "under no conditions,"
and I quote.

I'm glad you remember,
sweetheart, but...

Under no circumstances.

Well, that's right.
And that's what I meant.

But under no ordinary
circumstances...

and these are certainly not
ordinary circumstances.

- So I uncommand you.
- You can't do that.

It can't be "no" one minute
and "yes" the next.

If I give my word,
and I gave my word...

it's a matter of principle.

It is indeed a matter of principle.

And I, your husband, am asking you,
my wife, to open that door.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Darrin.

I didn't touch that door, honestly.

Of course you didn't,
but thank you anyway.

You don't believe me.

Well, that does it.

- Sam, what you are doing?
- That is one crazy, nutty, rotten door.

If you're gonna believe it and not me,
there's no point in going on.

So take your pick, it or me.

For crying out loud,
do you know what you're saying?

I know that I'm perfectly willing
to take the blame for anything I do.

But I am not going to take the blame
for whoever or whatever...

is turning that door
into an electronic yo-yo.

So there.

- Gladys, get away from the window.
- Could you explain something to me?

If it's about why we got married, no.

Why would two grown-up people
get all dressed up...

walk out their front door
into the garage and just sit there?

Why, Abner? Explain it to me.
What are they doing?

Maybe they're necking.

I want you to come over there
with me right now.

- Gladys, please.
- No, I mean it.

There's something fishy going on,
and I wanna find out what it is.

Sam.

Don't be angry.
What's there to be angry about?

You don't believe me.
That's plenty to get angry about.

I believe you. If you're gonna get
this angry, I believe you.

- You promise?
- I promise.

I know they're in there.
I saw them with my own eyes.

- Didn't you see them, Abner?
- Yes, Gladys.

What are they doing in there?

Inhaling carbon monoxide, maybe.
How do I know?

You may be right.

Open the door, Abner.

It's not my place
to open their door, Gladys.

There. You see?

I couldn't have opened it.
You were kissing me.

You were in front of my nose.
You saw my nose.

Now, take it easy, sweetheart.
I believe you. I believe you.

- Did you hear that, Abner?
- What?

- Something about her nose.
- Keep your voice down.

Good evening.

We saw you going into the garage, and
we thought maybe you were in trouble.

We couldn't get the door open.
I was asking my wife to open it.

You asked her
to open the garage door?

Well, it wouldn't open.
That seemed like the only solution.

That isn't what I mean at all.
What I mean is...

Sometimes you hear about women
doing things with hairpins.

- You understand what I mean?
- Well, I do.

You see, he means that sometimes
women can work magic...

with things that don't work.

And when that happens,
a man should definitely let her do so.

- Right, darling?
- Right, darling.

Well, we've got to get going.
Good night.

- Good night.
- Night.

Notice I didn't say one word
about her being strange.

I'm glad you didn't. She isn't. He is.

Well, it's all fixed.
You won't have that problem again.

- What about the Kravitzs' door?
- Oh, theirs is working fine.

But while we're here,
we'll check it again just to make sure.

Why don't you turn off
the Kravitzs' door...

- until we check it for shorts.
- I already did.

- That's what I was doing. It's off now.
- Swell.

Well, Mr. Stephens,
would you like to give it a try?

Okay.

There, now, see?

- How about that?
- That's real nice.

We got ours too.