Beware the Batman (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 3 - Tests - full transcript

Previously on
Beware of the Batman,

Tatsu is more than capable of
being your bodyguard and driver.

Test her, you'll see.

Let the tests begin.

Yo, watch it, Junkyard.

What's your problem Daedalus?

I'm just expressing
my artistic self.

Serves old man Castle right for
not appreciating artists of our caliber.

Down with creative oppression!

- This is justice.
- No.

I am justice.



Bat-man...

Take him, it's two against one.

Let's see how tough you are
when you're blind, Bat.

Aren't bats already blind?

You boys might want
to find another career.

I don't think art
is going to pan out.

Say hi to Gotham PD for me.
Have a nice night.

Dang, the cops are totally
going to jack us for this!

They certainly would,
if they catch you.

Look man,
Batman already worked us.

Go do your hero thing
on someone else.

Oh, I'm no hero.

I'm a fan.

I've been watching you
for some time.



Daedalus your authority challenging
street art shows enormous promise.

It does? I mean,
yeah, duh.

And you

Junkyard Dog, your knack
for sculptural destruction,

I find... inspiring.

I see genius in you both.

I want to be your patron.

Consider this, my first
donation to your art.

Dude, who are you?

Call me... Anarky.

Major, your boss has
one serious workout room

Mr. Wayne
insists on the best.

And he can afford it.

Well?

Had you been paying attention,

you'd have to admit she handled the
obstacles almost as well as Batman.

So would an Olympic gymnast.

But I don't need one to drive
me around or protect me.

It's your move.

Tatsu just passed
an impressive test,

like it or not,
you need an assistant.

When I was training in Asia,

every dojo I attended had
a different requirement...

skill, character, endurance.

Every test had to be passed
before I was accepted.

I don't even know why we bother
playing this game, you never lose.

Because you keep me sharp.

As for Ms. Yamashiro,

it's going to take more than
an agility test to convince me.

Ms. Yamashiro,
this is Bruce Wayne,

could you please meet me
in the trophy room?

Mr. Wayne,
you wanted to see me?

This job just got interesting.

What are you hiding,
Mr. Wayne?

You sure this is the place
Anarky said to go?

Didn't we get booted
from this gallery once?

Yeah, but that was before we were
reconstituted with new artistic tools.

Yo, we heard you uptown losers are
always looking for the next big thing.

Well, get a load of
our street art, Homies.

Welcome, Gotham City,

to the art of destruction.

First hardware stores,
now civilians.

Congratulations,
you've got my attention.

We're just expressing
ourselves, Bat dude.

Why do you have
to be hating on our art.

- Hey watch it man.
- Sorry!

Yes, you are.

You're all over the news.

Quite a mess.
Anyone we know?

Dumber and dumber
from the other night.

I, eh, blended up your dinner.

Assuming we'd be working late.

This pair seems... a bit deficient
for this type of destruction.

Agreed. They're working with
someone. Do a background.

Who they might have
come in contact with.

Get this analyzed.
Probably came off their shoes.

Might give us something.

From Cold War warrior
to analyzer of sneaker goo.

I've never been prouder.

You have a very
quiet footstep, Mr. Wayne.

As do you, Ms. Yamashiro.

And judging from your home gym,

you have a killer
exercise routine.

I saw you in there.

You live up to Alfred's
glowing recommendation.

Look, I know you don't think I am
necessary, but let me assure you.

I always take my work
very seriously.

So, please...
keep an open mind.

I always do.

What's the world
coming to, dude?

When artists like us
are imprisoned?

Ouch!

"Look out the window."

Cool!

Hello, boys.

Mr. Anarky, dude, we were
gonna come looking for you.

- Yeah, but Bat-dork...
- No apologies necessary.

Despite his claims
of free agency,

Batman is clearly
a tool of order.

- Exactly!
- Yeah!

- Tool!
- Yeah!

I, on the other hand
will fight against order

for total unleashed freedom
at any price.

It's a patron's responsibility
to make sure his artists

are suitably equipped.

Merry Christmas.

Your dimwitted duo have made
quite a name for themselves

on Gotham's art scene.

Booted from
every gallery in town.

Up until now though
they're only real crime

has been a serious
lack of talent.

This supports the theory that
they're working with someone.

Anything from my "goo" analysis?

Antiquated machine lubricant
barely in use now.

It's what I found in the
lubricant that's really interesting.

A very rare pollen from
the Fritillaria meleagris plant,

better known as
the Chess Flower.

Someone's playing
a game, Alfred.

And our two budding Van Goghs?

Are the pawns.

Computer, video feeds from
Gotham PD CCTV surveillance system

There.

The Batmobile is prepped
and ready for you.

Change of plans, Alfred.
Tonight, you drive.

This is the only way to tag.

Whoo-hoo! I can't believe how slow I
used to sculpt things with my hands.

Stupid hands.

I don't care if he is Batman.

He can't push us around.
Not anymore.

And I actually thought he was
gonna let me really drive for once.

Ah, bother, I might as well try
them all and hope for the best.

Run!

Get to the rendezvous point.

Impressive.

Thank you.

Batman! But you're...

Don't hurt your brain
trying to understand.

I want you conscious
when I take you down.

Bravo!

I believe this game
just got interesting.

A secret elevator
to a private library.

Not only does this guy have too
much time and too much money,

he's a geek too!

What's so interesting about
Gotham's wheelhouse, Mr. Wayne?

Well done.

I'm so gratified
you understand the game.

This isn't a game.

In that gear,
those two are dangerous.

It's a miracle
bystanders weren't hurt.

Oh, I would have been
fine with that.

It's the sort of random action

that makes me the better player.

You, the black king,
representing order,

and I, the white king...

Well, I'm Anarky.

I'm not going to play
your game, Anarky.

Oh, but you must, I've searched
so long for a worthy opponent.

Someday, they'll write
songs about our struggle.

You, fighting
for order and peace.

Me, for chaos and destruction!

That was just
to get your attention.

- The real bombs...
- Are on the Gondolas,

set to explode
as they cross one another.

How did you know?

It's the obvious move.

Ouch.

Regardless, there's only
time enough for you

to deactivate one of the
bombs before they cross.

Those poor people
on the other tram.

No!

Stop them from moving,
instant detonation.

A dead man's switch.

Of course, I let go... boom!

Boss! Batman is right
behind us, he's...

Oh, dang!

These two will stay
and slow you down even more.

I know you love a challenge.

Not such an obvious move now,
is it?

I'll be watching, Batman.
I hope you can do it.

I've wanted a real
opponent for so long.

We were just trying
to express ourselves.

So am I.

Alfred, I need schematics of the
Gotham City sky tram fed in to my goggles.

Uploading now.

You realize as soon as
the trams are within magnetic range...

The bombs detonate.

But if I divert
the trigger magnet's pull...

The circuit won't close.
No explosion.

Congratulations!

You countered my move!

You passed the test.

It wasn't much of a test.

You have no idea

what an honor it is
to be chosen as my enemy!

It's a really big deal!

I thought I'd found an
opponent to match wits with,

but you're just another
lunatic in a costume.

Madness is
the more interesting choice.

Logic and order
are so predictable.

Unless...

I make a logical decision
to do something insane.

What! Why didn't it explode?

Frequency jamming disk.

Unpredictable enough for you?

And what of our two
unfortunate, misunderstood artists?

They're in
Lieutenant Gordon's hands now.

They'll be wishing they were
back in mine soon enough.

That's right, arrest me.

Just going to make
my art more valuable.

Worked for Michelangelo.

Dude, did you ever stop
to think, you're not talented?

Man, whatever!

Hmm, impressive.

So, Ms. Yamashiro,
you passed my test.

Well done.

Perhaps I judged
you too quickly.

Or perhaps you just got lucky.

We'll see.