Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 7, Episode 5 - Pledging My Love - full transcript

Was that a great
meeting or what?

The investors loved you.

Almost as much as I do.

You know, the way
they were staring,

I thought my skirt
was taking the meeting.

Well, business is about
maximizing your assets,

and you do that very well.

We should celebrate.

Whoa-whoa-whoa,
nothing's happened just yet.

No, I have a good
feeling about these people.

I mean, this could be
the deal we're looking for.



It could be.

Could... be.

Wait, we're...

gonna celebrate
right in this car?

In the middle of Brentwood?

Hold that charming
little thought.

I have a surprise.

Who lives here?

Oh, a client of mine
who's about to be very rich.

Is this your place?

No.

It's yours.

Ours, actually.

What do you mean?



I mean, you can live
here full-time, part-time,

whatever you want.

Or we can just
use it to... meet.

Really?

Well, for business
purposes, of course.

Of course, of course.

It's leased in your name,
honey, with an option to buy.

That's the least that I can
do until we can be together.

So, you're saying
I'm a kept woman?

No, I don't think
of it that way.

I just want to make you happy.

Go ahead, take a look around.

Okay.

Well, say something.

I'm impressed.

The kitchen is stocked,
and I was hoping

to make some
dinner for us tonight.

I'll take care of that. Great.

Time for that celebration?

Bring the champagne.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Look, Tracy, I know it's a drag,

but he is the chancellor,
and we got to cover it.

Well, who'd have thought
news could be so boring?

Where's a good campus
riot when you need it?

This is California University,
where apathy is the best policy.

Yeah, well, how are we
supposed to get any ratings?

Trace, it's cable access...
There are no ratings.

Guys, you want to just set up

over there and fire at will?

CHANCELLOR: Good morning.

Welcome to one of my very
favorite days on campus,

the annual California
University Spirit Day!

Where's Muntz? I don't know.

He's got the shaving cream!

I got it, sir. All
right, pass it out.

Okay, who's got the spirit?

KEG!

KEG! KEG! KEG!
KEG! KEG! KEG! KEG!

Okay, who's gonna
rock C.U.? KEG!

KEG! KEG! KEG!

Give me that cream!

Right on! OTHERS: Right on!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I've heard this
speech since I was 12.

I'm so not into this
whole frat scene.

Well, your father
seems to enjoy it.

Yeah, well, it's his job.

The Caucasian
spirit wrestlers...

Menthol Men...

are you ready

for your date with destiny?

Ready!

KEG! KEG! KEG!

Let's show 'em what KEG
men are made of, shall we?

Onward!

Of the spirit of the
Thracian legions

passing through the Gates
of Hades, wearing masks

and yelling to
dispel the demons.

This campus is crazy today.

A bunch of frat guys just
streaked the chancellor.

I know, I heard.

What is all that?

New recruits.

How do they look?
I must have been

over this list of girls
a hundred times, Kel.

It just, uh, it
doesn't look good.

Come on, Donna.

The rush chairman
says that every year.

Yeah, but this year, it's
the freshman class from hell.

'Hi. I'm Cindy Satan,

and I'm majoring in
demonology. Hee!"

I'm sure it's not that bad.

Oh, yeah, trust me.

Trust me that it is.

You know, maybe Alpha just
won't have any pledges this year.

Are you through with this?

Oh, yeah, you can take that.

Is that you?

Yeah.

Welcome to C.U. I'm Donna.

And I'm Kelly.

Hi. Danny St. John.

Nice to meet you. Hi.

Well, I have to run.

I'm gonna change and
head for the hospice.

See you later. Okay.

Hey, Danny, were
you in a sorority before?

Oh, they didn't
have Greeks at State.

I went to this mixer

last night at Zeta Chi,

but I-I don't think
they liked me.

Well, how would you like
to come to the Alpha House

and meet the pledge
committee? 'Cause I think

you would be great.
Are you kidding?

I would love to.

I didn't think that
Alpha rushed jocks.

Yeah, well, there's
a first for everything.

Thank you. No problem.

Ah, a pledge.

This is pure gold.

Wait, it gets better.

The sprinklers
come on, and hilarity

and high jinks ensue.

This is definitely "Play
of the Day" material.

I say we lead with it.

I don't know about that.

I was thinking a
little further down.

I mean, it's not exactly
World News Tonight, is it?

Well, it's your call...
You're the news director.

On the other hand, it is
more exciting than our story

on repaving the faculty
parking lot, isn't it?

That's what I like to hear.

Excuse me, these-these
aren't the classes I asked for.

The courses you
requested are full...

Of students who
registered on time.

Hey, David.

Problems?

Hey, Val. No.

Not unless I want my major to be

medieval Viking warlords.

What, are you
registering late, too?

No, my counselor's
giving me life credit

for my work at the club,
so I'm dropping my 8:00's.

Figures. All I've
got are 8:00's.

So, how have you been?

I've been doing good.

Yeah?

Good Karma? Financial
planning, David.

I've got a new accountant.

I wish I'd done some planning.

Then my only
communications course

wouldn't be aesthetics
of Russian silent cinema.

Ugh!

Well, good luck.

Thanks. Bye. VALERIE: Bye.

Wait a minute.

That must be a computer error.

That class has
been full since spring.

What does it take to get a
class you want around here?

What, do you have to win
a gold medal or something?

Doesn't hurt.

Yeah, right?

Wait a second.

Aren't you Kerri Strug?

I guess so. You were amazing!

Do you have your gold medal
on you? No. I'd like to wear it

everywhere, but that
would look pretty silly, right?

I don't know,

I think if I won a gold medal,

I'd be so proud
I'd have it bronzed.

You're funny. You're incredible.

I... I hope I get to have
some classes with you.

Me, too. Well, uh...

good luck in school.

Bye.

Are you feeling
up to an excursion?

I feel pretty good.

The sun's nice.

'Cause Saturday was
Jewish New Year, right?

Right. I guess I forgot.

Did my rabbi call you?

No. My stepbrother's
Jewish, and he says that

there are services all week
long at the Hillel House.

You interested?
I don't think so.

I've avoided it for years.

How come? I don't know.

Maybe it was that
time at my bar mitzvah

I stood up and said,
"Today I am a man."

You are so bad.

What's the deal, why are you

getting religious on me?

It wouldn't have anything to do

with the fact that I'm dying,

would it?

All right.

I just thought I'd mention it.

Okay...

I will go.

I just don't want to hear you try
and pronounce Rosh Hashanah.

These Protestant
lips wouldn't dare.

So, when are you gonna teach me

that Queens trick? Never.

Not while there's a
breath in this skinny body.

Jimmy! Sorry.

It goes down with the ship.

I bet you showed
Gordon how to do it.

Actually, Gordon
taught it to me.

He had so many friends around.

Especially when he was sick.

I kind of cut myself off
from everyone after he died.

I was wondering
about that. You mean

why I don't have any friends?

I just... never wanted anyone to
see me the way they saw Gordon.

I understand.

Well, I transferred so late

that all of the athletic
scholarships were gone,

so I'm working.

Uh...

actually, I kind of have
to get back, if that's okay.

Yeah, sure.

I think we're done anyway.

Okay?

Danny, thanks for coming.

You did great.

Yeah, it didn't feel like it.

Thanks so much
for wasting our time.

Ellen! She can still hear you.

Like it's a big shock that
she's not gonna be an Alpha.

The girl can't even decide
if she's a jock or a nerd.

I think she'd be
a great addition.

Personally, Donna,

I don't care for
the athletic type

sharing my bathroom,

if you know what I mean.

No. What is that
supposed to mean?

Come on, Donna.

No clothes, no style.

Bad hair and no personality.

She's the total package.

Ellen, you didn't even
give her a chance.

You know, not
everyone in a sorority

has to look just like you.

We're supposed to
be friends, not clones.

Hmm, true.

But then again, not
everybody has to be an Alpha.

I vote...

a big "no way."

Look, just... let her
have a second interview.

If you blackcard
her now, she's done.

Okay.

I'll wait till next time to
dump your charity case.

That's it for this edition

of the evening news.

But just before we go,

let's have another look
at our Menthol Men,

who put the myth of Big Man
on campus to permanent rest.

I'm Tracy Gaylian and
that's the C.U. News.

Yes?

Oh, hello, Dean Shaw.

Yes, I'm just watching it.

No, I had no idea they
were going to show it.

I didn't even know
there was any videotape.

I'm as outraged as you are.

No, obviously,

you are more
outraged, I only meant...

Really?

What?

I can't believe you came.

We haven't eaten with
your father in a long time.

When's our reservation?

I suppose I should be, um,

pleased you're wearing pants.

What's that supposed to mean?

You humiliated my dad and me.

That wasn't me! Steve,

you might as well have had
KEG printed on your chest.

Besides, I've, uh,

kind of seen your... before, so.

Okay, okay, it was me. So?

I just don't get it.

I mean, streaking
is like so '70s.

I didn't have a choice!
It was supposed

to be just the pledges,

but then Muntz challenges me,

and what was I supposed to do?

Well, we can, um,

change your condition

from, uh, brain dead

to just plain old... stupid.

What were those
idiots thinking of?

Hello, Steve. Chancellor,

yeah, I know it was a disgrace

but oh, gosh, you gotta
admit it was pretty funny.

I don't think so. Nor
does Dean Shaw.

A woman whose career has
been built on political correctness.

She wants the entire
Interfraternity Council

charged with sexual harassment.

Oh, come on, it was
a harmless prank.

Steve, everybody
doesn't think so.

Maybe we could have
contained this thing,

but since it's been broadcast,
it's not going to go away.

It's not? No. Fortunately,

we have the culprits
dead to rights on videotape.

You do? Oh, yes.

Thanks to my good
friend Brandon Walsh,

someone is going to pay very
dearly for this little escapade.

Hello, you've reached

Kenny Bannerman's office.

If you wish to leave a
message, please press one.

If you wish to return
to the receptionist,

please press...

Hello?

Where the hell are you?

Mom, I forgot to call you,

I'm sorry, uh...

We just took Michael
out for some ice cream

after his, uh, soccer game.

Huh! Oh, the
all-American family, huh?

Well, let me speak to Diane.

Maybe she'd like to hear
what a bastard you are.

Uh, I'm really sorry.

I totally forgot that

Michael's game was rescheduled.

But he did great, you know, uh,

the game was tied
and he scored twice.

Oh, well, that's more
than I can say for you.

Thanks a lot for the
romantic celebration.

How can I be a month behind

after only two weeks of school?

Tell me about it.

I haven't even
opened a book yet.

Maybe when Pledge Week's over.

How'd that thing with
Danny go? Not great.

They were so catty to her.

Especially Ellen Fogarty, ugh.

I told you I didn't think

they were gonna
go for an athlete.

She wants to blackcard her

because she doesn't
like her hair or something.

I can't believe they're
so stuck on appearances.

Well, now you know why
I'm not spending much time

at the old Alpha House.

What, you think
I should give up?

If you want to. No.

I want to change some
things there before I leave.

Sounds like a good idea.

So, how's Jimmy doing?

He's so amazing.

He's sick, and he
worries about me.

Hello?

Hey, Steve.

Yeah, sure. Hold on.

Clare, it's Steve!

Tell him I'll call him later.

She says she'll call you later.

Mm-hmm. Mm... okay.

He wants to know when.

When he grows up.

You tell him, I'm
not telling him.

Hey...

Um...

It's not funny!

No, no, no, my
friend, lets review.

You streaked your
girlfriend's father.

Now, where I come from,

that's funny. Yeah, well,

if Clare has her way,
next time there won't be

anything to cover
up. Lorraine has really

got her lederhosen in
a knot over this, huh?

It's so unfair!

Technically, I wasn't
even streaking.

I had my loins covered.

With shaving cream...

Well, until the
sprinklers came on.

It was a joke.

I didn't think it would
turn into such a big deal.

I think it ranks right
up there with stealing

Professor Randal's baseball.

Or the time that you
broke into West Beverly

to change your grades.

That was a good one.

And then there's
the time that...

Yeah, but nobody
taped me doing that stuff.

Chancellor Arnold and
this Dean Goody Two-shoes

want to barbecue my
butt with that videotape.

May not be bad
with a teriyaki glaze.

Don't worry, bro,

I'll do what I can.

Here we go again.

Brandon.

Hi. Hi.

Kenny Bannerman.

How are you? Good, good.

How are you? Good.

How are things with
your folks being away?

Okay.

Yeah, it was a little
weird the first year,

but everything's settled
in pretty nicely now.

Well, that's good.

Um, is Valerie here?

Yeah, she's upstairs.

Oh, you know she's
my client. Right.

I didn't know accountants
made house calls.

Oh, well, um,

I forgot to get her signature,
on some paperwork, you know?

It's in the car,

paperwork all the time.

Right.

I'll get her for you.

Thank you.

Come in.

Kenny Bannerman's downstairs.

Really? Yeah.

He said he's got some
papers for you to sign.

Oh.

That means you're
not coming down?

No.

What do you want me to tell him?

I don't care.

No, wait.

Tell him I went to go
get some frozen yogurt.

He'll get the message.
Frozen yogurt?

Is there something going on
here that I don't know about,

that I probably
should know about?

No, it's nothing.

It's just a... a little
business reversal.

Mm-hmm.

Hi.

Hello.

You're pretty good.

It's what I do.

I guess I should have had
enough sense to stick to it.

Look, Danny, about yesterday...

I guess that was
pretty funny, huh?

No, not to me.

Listen,

there's another interview.

So, you still have a
chance to pull it off.

Why would I want to put
myself through that again?

Because you want to be an Alpha.

And we'd be lucky to have you.

Since I was little,

all I've ever done
is shoot hoops.

I've just never been good

at being a girl
without a basketball.

Some people can't hit

a three-point shot.

I guess I should be able to live

without being a babe.

Danny, you know we're
not talking about beauty.

Just a little cosmetics.

I never got into makeup.

I could teach you if you want.

There's really nothing to it.

Hmm...

See?

There's hope yet.

Wow.

I'm surprised at you, Brandon.

And I must admit
a little disappointed.

Well, would you like
my resignation, sir?

I told you earlier.
I want the tape.

So do a lot of people.

I've already had three
calls from Hard Copy.

Brandon, I guess I
just don't find all this

quite as amusing as you do.

With all due respect,
sir, maybe you should.

The guys were just
exhibiting school spirit.

We both know that if
that's all they exhibited,

we wouldn't be here now.

Sorry I'm late, sir,

let me just say that we
intend to cooperate fully, okay?

Indeed and could you

explain to me why Brandon
refused to send the tape over

to my office despite my
request two hours ago?

Is that true, Brandon?

I called a lawyer at the ACLU.

And she thinks this could be
an issue of journalistic integrity

and I happen to agree.

Well, will you tell your lawyer

that my lawyer says that

California University
runs this station,

and therefore, that
tape is the property

of this university.

Sir, there's no need
for any lawyers, okay?

Look, I happen to agree
with the chancellor here, okay?

This isn't your
decision; it's mine.

Fine, you can have the tape.

If we still have it.

What does that mean?

That means that the work tapes

have been recycled already.

There should be
an off-air master,

but I don't know if we kept it.

I'd be more than happy
to look for you though

and make a dub if
there happens to be one.

Fine, please do.

You have 24 hours.

I'm going to say this
as plainly as I can.

No tape, no station.

Do I make myself
clear, gentlemen?

Thank you.

What was that all about?

Of course we have
an off-air master.

Look, Mark, the
guys on that tape

are gonna get in big trouble.

One of them just happens
to be my best friend.

Oh, I see.

Well, so much for

the journalistic
integrity crap, huh?

This is about covering your ass.

It isn't crap, it's a
perfectly valid defense.

Look, I don't care
what you call it, okay?

Maybe you're willing to
risk the station over this,

but I'm not!

Happy New Year.

Thank you.

Same to you.

Good Yontif.

So, Kelly, what did you think?

It was very interesting.

What are the Days of Awe?

Those are the ten days between
Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

And that's the Day
of Atonement, right?

Right. It's the holiest
day of the year.

You're supposed to spend
it reflecting on your life

and preparing to
atone for your sins.

It's like confession,
except you get to do

the whole year's
sins all at once.

Do you get absolution?

That's the best part.

If you ask anybody
for forgiveness

during the Days of Awe,
they have to give it to you.

Really? Yeah.

It's like a big close-out sale.

And it's final, too,
because by Yom Kippur,

the Book of Life is shut
and can't be changed.

The Book of Life?

That's where all the
names are written.

What's gonna happen
in the coming year.

Who's gonna live
and who's gonna die.

Just relax, okay?

My guy's gonna make everything
go away; don't worry about it.

Here we go.

Hey, Bran!

Just telling the guys what
a stand-up dude you are.

It's a done deal, right?

No, it, uh, it isn't.

But it will be.

I don't think so, Steve.

Come on, Bran, I'm counting
on you to save my bacon here.

Unfortunately, this isn't
just about your bacon,

except for the part that
you showed the campus.

You told me you'd take
care of this, Brandon.

No, Steve, I told you
I would try, and I did.

I failed. What else can I do?

So I take the fall
and you walk, huh?

I'm sorry, what? Ah,
come on, Brandon!

This is just as much your
fault as it is mine. More!

And that would be because...?

I didn't tape it.

I didn't show it.

That's a weak argument, Steve.

So?

So, I did what I
could. I think you might

have to clean up this
mess on your own. I'm sorry.

Those are the projections on

advanced tissue, Helen.

Just, uh, put them anywhere.

It's not Helen.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm still your
client, aren't I?

Well, certainly, Ms. Malone.

Maybe you could speak
with Helen out there,

and she'll make an
appointment for you.

I had an appointment.

But you didn't show up.

What the hell were
you thinking, Valerie?

You owe me for last night.

And I'm here to collect.

I went to your house last
night to apologize to you,

but you wouldn't see me.

I decide when you
get to apologize.

And I've decided it's right now.

Valerie, please.

Do you want me?

Do I want you?

Do you?

You know I want you.

Then take it or leave it.

I can't thank you guys enough
for helping me out like this.

Well, that's what a sorority
is all about, or should be.

Okay, Danny, stand over there,

I'm gonna get a
before picture of you.

Oh, whoa, wait.

Feeling good about
yourself is half the battle.

Stand up straight.

I feel good about
most of myself.

It's just the last
six or eight inches.

Well, when I was modeling,

I always wished I was taller.

So did my agent.

Very nice!

So, what are we going to do?

Besides set the women's
movement back about 20 years?

What? Oprah's a feminist,

and she has glamour makeovers
on her show all the time.

I know, I just think
that they should

accept Danny on her own terms.

Thanks, Kelly.

The thing is that these
are my own terms.

I really want to
try and look better.

There's plenty of
glamorous female athletes.

Gail Devers, Flo-Jo,
Gabrielle Reece...

She's practically a supermodel.

So don't worry,
you're in good hands.

Donna, what are you doing?

What?

I love this look.

What?

Clare!

Oh, honey, you look beautiful.

Let me see.

What is it?

Well, just what I
thought: made in heaven.

"What is it" as in why did
you ask me to come here?

Neutral ground.

Come on, let's have a seat.

Clare, I know I can
act foolish sometimes.

Well, I'd alert the media,
but I think they already know.

I'm trying to apologize here.

What, I'm not showing you
the proper amount of gratitude?

Come on, Clare,
I'm really sorry.

I don't know what else to do!

Well, you could start
by apologizing to my dad.

You didn't tell him, did
you? I mean, about me?

He'll have the tape
by tomorrow, Steve.

Thank you

for having so much faith in me.

I'm so upset I can't
even think straight.

What if this is the
end of KEG house?

What if this is the end of
the entire Greek system?

Leave it to you to bring
down an entire institution.

Got a sec?

Oh, thanks.

Must have read my mind.

I just wanted to say how much I
admired what you said to Mark.

Unfortunately, Mark
didn't feel the same way.

But thanks.

He's right, you know.

Protecting a friend is a bad
reason to invoke privilege.

But that doesn't mean I think

we should give him the tape.

Do you think the Supreme
Court would agree?

Definitely.

Anything I can do to help?

You could file the tape
with the Whitewater papers?

I have a nasty little magnet

that could do some
serious damage.

I think we're in
enough trouble already.

Unfortunately,

tomorrow, the tape
goes to the administration.

Where's Jimmy?

Kelly, I think you'd
better talk to Linda.

Linda?

I'm glad you're here.

He's been asking for you.

I was with him yesterday,
and he was fine.

I know.

But last night, he started
running a high fever.

By this morning, it
was Pneumocystis.

He's been doing so well.

That's just the
way it is sometimes.

You never know what's
gonna be the last straw.

Can I see him?

Of course. But, Kelly,

he's very ill.

How ill? Honestly?

I'm afraid he's not
gonna last the day.

Hey, Kelly.

Hi.

I guess some goof wrote my name

in the Book of Life
in disappearing ink.

Easy come, easy go.

I hope.

I'll stay with you.

Good.

My cards.

What, your cards?

My deck of cards in the drawer.

I want to show you something.

This is a little thing
called The Constant Heart.

Remember?

'Cause no matter how

you try and hide
it, the heart...

Jimmy...

Uh, it's really simple.

Please, don't.

I thought you wanted
to know the trick.

Last chance.

I can't believe
this is happening.

What's happening to me
has already happened.

Long time ago.

But why does it have to be now?

What difference does it make?

I don't know.

You have a date with David
for Yom Kippur services.

They're serving smokies

and sauerkraut tomorrow.

I don't know.

Kelly, can I tell you something?

You made me so happy.

You're my first real
friend since Gordon died.

That's a reason to live.

Actually, it's a reason to die.

Now I don't have to be alone.

I'm sorry.

What about me?

That's the easy part.

You're supposed to live.

Fall in love.

Make babies.

Gordon taught me something else.

Want to know what it was?

To never hide your heart.

That's the real trick.

I think I'm ready
to learn it now.

Good thing you're a quick study.

I need to see the Chancellor.

I'm sorry. He's busy, Steve.

This is really important.

Do you have an appointment?

No. I have a confession.

Well, you'll just have to wait.

He's punishing
someone else right now.

Dean Shaw, all I meant was
that I think that expulsion is,

is a little extreme.

Actually, I don't.

I-I don't agree that, that, that
reflects a total lack of empathy

for the victims of
male oppression at all.

I have the tape
in my office now.

Well...

I haven't viewed it yet
because I'm still talking to you

on the telephone, am I not?

Thank you, Dean Shaw.

Well, gentlemen, I
don't see any point

in further prolonging
this, do you?

No, sir.

Brandon?

No, sir.

Maybe it's a little further
forward on the tape.

Maybe you didn't
rewind it. Go back.

I don't understand.

The timer's set automatically

to make a protection dub.

Sorry, sir, I don't
know what to say.

Brandon,

have you got an
explanation to this?

Is Venus in retrograde?

That tape is blank.

That much is clear.

Well,

I guess that's that.

Sir? I guess

I'll just have to call Dean Shaw

and tell her that the, uh...

the chain of evidence
was contaminated.

That's how you say it, isn't it?

Yeah, I believe it is, sir.

No evidence, no case.

I asked you for the tape.

You gave me the tape.

What more could we do?

Well,

thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you, Chancellor.

You set me up.

I didn't set you up, man.

Brandon! Steve,
hang on a second.

Well, you left me sitting
in there just sweating.

What do you want from me?

What am I supposed
to do about it?

All right, I'll talk
to you guys later.

Bran, you're off the hook.

I'm gonna come clean.

Go home, Steve.

No, no, I have to bare
my soul. I have to, Bran.

No, you don't.

Trust me. It's an
honesty thing, man.

Honesty's the best policy.

You said so, you
told me that once.

Steve, I think now
is a... discretion is

the-better-part-
of-valor-type moment.

You know what I'm saying?

Steve,

I understand you have
some kind of confession?

Yeah. I wanted
to confess that I,

I, I, uh, uh...

I forgot to invite
you to the barbecue

at the KEG house tomorrow night.

You think you could make it?

I'd be delighted.

I hear you have

a fine group of pledges.

I'll buy you a beer.

I'll tell you all about it.

Thank you.

Well, you saw her last time.

Well, looks like you're
all agreed on Danny.

I still don't like her.

But I suppose you're right.

She's an asset to the house.

Hi, again, Danny.

I prefer Danielle.

A rose by any other name...

Oh, just tell her.

We've all talked it over,
and the Pledge Committee

is happy to extend you a
bid to pledge Alpha House.

Really?

Thank you

very much.

I should say that there's

a lesson here for all of us.

I certainly hope so. If Danny...

Sorry... Danielle

had shown this much
poise the first time,

we wouldn't have
needed to reinterview.

But as she is, any sorority

would be proud to have her.

That's just what
they said at Zeta Chi.

I just left there.

So, what are you gonna do?

I've already accepted their bid.

You did what? Good for you.

I'm sorry, Donna.

No,

I think we're the ones
that should be sorry.

Whatever.

I just want you all to know that

you were my first choice.

Thank you anyway.

Well, I guess I'll
be going now, too.

Donna, what are you doing?

We still need pledges.

What you need is a
new Rush Chairman.

What? Maybe she'll be able

to convince you to
start looking at people

for who they really are.

Thank you for everything, Donna.

Oh, my pleasure all the way.

Especially the look on Ellen's
face when I told her I quit.

You didn't have to do that.

Yes, I did.

So can an Alpha accept a
friendly gift from a Zeta Chi?

I don't know.

I mean, that could violate
inter-sorority rules of ethics.

But, uh, what were
you thinking of?

Season tickets.

Oh, hmm. Well, I mean,
only if they're courtside.

Absolutely.

Oh...

Blank! Blank!

I can't believe the
videotape was, was blank!

As blank as the vast space in
between your ears, my friend.

I still don't get what happened.

Well, it turned out
to be more suitable

for Unsolved Mysteries
than Hard Copy.

Well, from what I
saw, I don't know

if it would exactly qualify
for Hard Copy, but...

Give me a break, okay?
The sprinkler water was cold.

You, I owe an apology.

Yes, you do, but I'm not proud.

I'll go first. I'm sorry, man.

No, I'm sorry.

What about me?

I owe everybody an apology.

Not me. STEVE: I
still can't get over it.

I mean to think I almost
told the truth for nothing.

No, actually,

you almost told
the truth for me,

which is kind of sweet.

Oh, yeah, baby, how sweet?

Not that sweet.

Oh, come on, sweet enough

to make you want to take
a nap in the afternoon?

In your dreams.

Oh, I got plenty of
shaving cream left.

What day is today?

Today could be dress-up day.

♪ Come with me. ♪

Remember that nasty little
magnet I told you about?

That's not a little magnet.

You are very bad.

The worst.

Well, now I know the who
and the where and the how.

I just can't figure out why.

No? Because I like
Steve and I like you.

And my mother always taught me

to be nice to the
people you like.

Well, I guess I should
be thanking your mother.

What would she...
what would she think

an appropriate reward would be?

Oh, Mom's a big
believer in kissing.

It's kind of a rural thing.

Well, you know I
do have this policy

against workplace
romance, but, uh...

Thanks.

Especially since it's
a violation of policy.

You know, once Mark
finds out it was you,

you're probably
gonna get fired anyway.

I'll look forward to it.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Nat told me.

I brought you this.

It's a Yahrzeit candle.

You're supposed to
light it for the dead.

I'll just leave it right here.

Look... I know there's
nothing I can say

to make you feel any better.

I don't want to
feel better, David.

I'm just so sad, you know?

But at the same
time, I feel angry.

I'm mad at him for leaving me.

How sick is that?

He said he could

die now because
I was his friend.

That just doesn't make sense.

It doesn't seem fair, you know?

You gave him a lot.

You know that, right?

Yeah.

I guess I have to forgive him.

You said that's
how it works, right?

Yeah.

That's what it says
in the Book of Life.

How do I do this?

You just light it.

Read just the English.

"May the Source of peace
send peace to all who mourn,

and comfort all the
bereaved among us.

Amen."