Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 6, Episode 18 - Snowbound - full transcript

My keys... Clare, have
you seen my keys?

Uh, yeah, they're by the phone.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, God, I am so late.

I'm supposed to meet
my dad for breakfast.

When was the last
time you saw Kel?

I don't remember.

Actually, I don't
think I've seen her

more than a couple of
times in the last two weeks.

Yeah, I know. I called her
at Colin's like five times...

They're not answering.



I'm worried about her.

Yeah, I know.

It's not like her.

What, you think
Colin's still getting high?

Yeah, I do.

And I think he's dragging
her down with him.

No way.

Not Kel.

She would never
touch that stuff.

Are you going to class?

Uh-uh, I can't move.

Sure you can.

Mm.

Just don't make me go
to school today, okay?



Wouldn't think of it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Slow down, Keats.

What were you
restless in the womb?

Well, I was born two
months premature.

Yeah, well, do we have to
get in shape all in one day?

Look, if you even want to
finish the Rock the Vote 10K,

you're gonna have
to put in the miles.

Susan, we have two months.

Yeah, and you've
only jogged one block.

Speed it up. Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

What happened?

She lost control of her
car and jumped the curb.

I saw the whole thing.

Man, that looks bad.

Are you okay?

I-I don't know.

Wait, uh, my shoelace.

Hold on one sec,
my shoelace is untied.

Yeah, right. What's
next, a broken fingernail?

I'm serious, hold on.

You are a lollygagger.
Now come on, suck it up!

No!

Susan? Susan?

People, can you just go
about your own business?

We have everything
under control.

Just get me out of here, please.

I don't feel very good.
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

Come on, why don't we
sit down right here, huh?

What's the matter?

My, um... older sister
was killed in a car accident.

Hit-and-run.

I didn't know you had a sister.

Yeah.

She was only 22.

She, uh... she just
finished Stanford

and was on her way to
Harvard Medical School.

What was her name?

Kathryn.

You know, I really loved
her, but everybody did.

She was the best.

You know, I always thought
if I could be half as good

as she was or half as smart.

Hey, you're doing pretty well.

I think she'd be very proud.

I hope so, 'cause, you know,

everything I'm doing
is because of her...

School, the paper, everything.

Hey, hey, you got new wheels.

Yeah. My dad got it for me.

Gift for good grades.

Wow, it's gorgeous. Thanks.

Gorgeous?

I'd say it's cute.

Very cute.

I prefer sporty, actually.

Okay, cute and sporty.

Kind of like a Barbie-mobile.

Barbie drove a
pink Corvette, Steve.

Oh. I always knew
that girl had class.

Well, it was a Corvette.

Yeah, well, I bet

she never made the Dean's list.

Clare, you made
Dean's List again?

I did. Even you couldn't
drag me down, Steve.

Well, congratulations.
And drive in good health.

I'm going back in. Thank you.

So you want to
take it for a drive?

Uh, not really.

I hear these cars are pigs.

You know, all styling,
no performance.

Don't diss my
car. It's very peppy.

Yeah, for a chick's car.

But next to my Corvette,
it kind of stands still, Clare.

Really?

Well, I'll tell you
what, Parnelli,

I'll race my Barbie-mobile

against you any
time you'd like, okay?

Please, don't make
me laugh, Clare.

Is there a problem, Officer?

License and
registration, please.

You, too.

I know how this looks,

but this is a real emergency.

I'm an organ donor recipient.

My beeper just
went off. Steve...

I'm late for dialysis, okay?

Not okay. I'm citing
you for speeding.

Um, Officer, sorry
to bother you,

I know you're busy, but
when you pulled us over,

which one of us was ahead?

Uh...

you were, Miss.

Thanks.

You know what I
was thinking? Hmm?

We should go shopping today.

For what?

For presents.

For you, for me,
for me, for you.

Well, my dad did say

that I should buy
myself something nice.

We could spend
it all in one place.

All in one day.
All right, a goal.

You want to really have fun?

Let's get a limo to
take us around all day.

Mmm. Yeah, that
sounds like a good idea,

because neither
one of us are exactly

designated driver
material today, are we?

And we can make love
in between purchases.

Hmm, what do you like better...
Making love or shopping?

It's a toss-up.

I'll get back to you.

I'll get that.

You want to clean
this up? Oh, yeah.

Valerie? Hey.

What are you doing
here? May I come in?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Um, I've got some great news.

Hey, Kel.

Long time no school.

It's nice to know
I've been missed.

I think you'll want
to take a look at this.

It's from Sterling Penn, he's
a collector. He lives in Hawaii.

He's got one of the most famous

contemporary art
collections in the world.

Yeah, I know who he is.

He read about my mural
in the L.A. Times, Kelly.

He wants to see more.

He's flying in next
week. That's great.

Yeah, that's,
that's really great.

Having fun?

Colin,

what is this?

Oh, must be left
over from the holidays.

Yeah, must be.

Well, have a nice day.

Yeah, you, too.

Bye-bye. Thanks for coming.

Think she bought it?

Ask me if I care.

Do you care?

No.

I just don't understand how you

and Joe's other doctor can
see things so differently?

Honey, it's very subjective.

Medicine is like detective work.

You look for clues, then
you try to find the culprit.

It's not an exact science.

And I have to admit what I saw

when I looked at Joe's
EKG was very subtle.

Sam Levin saw something else.

Refill, Dr. Martin?
No, thanks, Nat.

The check, please.

Well, in the meantime,
what's the patient

supposed to do?

Normally, go

for a third opinion or
err on the side of caution.

Joe's not doing that.

I know, but give him time.

It is not easy to be in
Joe's shoes right now.

I know, that Daddy.

But I'm worried about him.

I'm scared.

I understand.

Look, I've got to get over
to the hospital right now.

But I want you to
call me, all right?

I really want to talk
about this tonight.

Okay.

Good.

Hey, Brandon. Hey,
Dr. Martin, how are you?

Good. How's it going?
Good. Good. Good,

Hey, Donna. How
are you? I'm all right.

Uh, get me some orange
juice. I'll be right back.

Yeah. Donna?

Yeah.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

What's going on?

Look, I'm, I'm just worried
about Joe, Brandon.

My dad thinks there's
something wrong with his heart.

What do you mean there's something
wrong with his heart. I don't know.

And the trouble is, Joe
got a second opinion

from a heart doctor
the team sent him to.

The guy says he's fine.

Well, that's a
good thing, right?

Yeah, if the guy's right.

Look, I gotta go.

Yeah, listen, uh, if
there's anything I can do,

I'll be around.

Thank you.

Now, Silver, I know you know

a certain ticket-fixer
by the name of Eddie.

All I want is an
introduction. That's all, okay?

I can't afford my
insurance rates going up.

Steve, I told you.

I'd give you Eddie's number,

but he just got busted.

I'm sorry. Great.

Why don't you just
go to traffic school?

It's no big deal.

No luck.

Silver's guy is out of business.

Okay. So what's it going to be?

We have traffic
school for Armenians,

pizza lovers, chocoholics.

Oh, here's a good one.

Gourmet traffic school.

Ooh! We could watch gory
movies of traffic accidents

while we sauté
porcini mushrooms.

How appetizing.

Works for me. What do you think?

I think we wouldn't
be in this mess

if it hadn't been for you.

Oh, don't blame me.

You just couldn't
bear the thought

that I might have beaten you.

You didn't.

Well, that's not
what the cop said.

He said I was winning. Remember?

Wait. You asked the cop?

You two are in a
class by yourselves.

Enjoy traffic school.

Now, this is the way to shop.

You are a showoff.

Oh, come on. Don't you love it?

I mean, growing up in Rochester,

practically the only time
you'd see a limousine

was when somebody died.

You're kidding me, aren't you?

No. Not really.

I mean, the first time
I was ever in a limo

was my... my high school prom.

My date practically threw
up out the moon roof.

That's very memorable.

Yeah. That was the good part.

In the morning,
when I crawled home,

there was this van
outside my house

from the VA hospital.

That's when I
realized it was him.

Who?

My father.

My real father.

You never told me about him.

Yeah. It's not a great
conversation starter.

Well, what's he like?

He's blind.

He lost his sight in Vietnam.

Funny thing is, he's a
better artist than I'll ever be.

How's that for poetic injustice?

Why didn't you ever
tell me about him?

I don't know.

Never came up.

Who knows? You
might meet him someday.

Hopefully, not.

He's a pretty scary guy.

So, how about you?

When was your
first time in a limo?

Oh, well, I was
practically born in one.

I was brought home
from the hospital in one.

I went to my first day of school

in one.

Whenever my dad was in L.A.,

he had a stretch and
a driver on payroll.

But there's one thing
I've never done in a limo.

No way. You're lying.

No, I'm not. You are lying.

Uh-uh.

Well, there's a first
time for everything?

Oh...

So what traffic school did
you guys finally decide on?

Comedy. Gourmet.

Comedy-gourmet traffic school.

Very interesting.

Knock-knock!

Hi, guys. Hi.

Don't get up.

What's this?

Open it and find out... we
had the most Here you go.

Incredible day. Thanks.
Incredible it was.

For you. Oh, thank you.

My dad gave me a little
belated Christmas cash

and told me to spend
it any way I wanted,

and I couldn't think of
any better way to spend it

than on all of you,
'cause we just love you.

That we do, but you know
what? We're out of here.

Yeah. Colin's
taking me to Eclipse.

Ooh! Tres chic.

Yeah. Give those to
the others, would ya?

Okay. See you.
Bye. Love you. Bye!

Bye!

Well, that was strange.

Well, rumor has it
the Three Wise Men

didn't show up in
Bethlehem till January.

Oh, man! Internet In a Box!

I've been saving up for this.

Whoa. Whoa. Check it out.

How classy. For the
driving enthusiast.

Likewise. Even matches my car.

What did you get, Val?

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall."

Aren't any of you the least
bit disturbed by any of this?

I mean, didn't you get
a good look at them?

Kelly and Colin?

No. The ghosts
from Christmas Past.

Yes, Colin and Kelly.

I mean, you don't think
this is manic behavior?

You heard what she said.

Her father gave her
some extra cash to blow.

She's having a good time.

What's the big deal?

I don't know about you people,

but I feel loved.

Well, they were blowing
much more than cash.

What? You think
Colin was high again?

They both were.

Kelly high?

I don't think so. No way.

She's been all over Colin
from the beginning about this.

That is kind of a far stretch.

I don't think she'd be using

after what she went
through with her mother.

Yeah. And that
whole intervention

thing with Dylan.

Oh, guys, please. Come on!

I mean, all I keep hearing about

is Dylan and Kelly's
mother and David.

I mean, when does

anybody learn anything
from the lessons

of the past? I mean, trust me.

These are guilt gifts.

Kelly's getting high.

Hi. Don't you love this place?

I brought my parents
here last week.

For madame, the
risotto with black truffles.

Thank you.

And, monsieur, our roasted
rack of lamb with Tuscan beans.

Thanks.

I only order this

'cause I like
the little booties.

Will there be anything else?

No, no. We're fine. Thanks.

I don't even know
how you can eat meat.

Easy. With a knife and fork.

Baah!

Baah! Baah!

Baah! Stop it.

Go ahead. Try your risotto.

I'm not really that hungry.

Yeah. Me neither.

Okay. My turn.

Where's our little power pack?

It's gone.

I did it.

Gone? Come on. You
got to be kidding me.

No. Kelly, there was enough

left for both of us.

Look, you've been going
through it twice as fast as I have.

You're crazy.

Why are you making
such a big deal out of it?

Why don't we just
go get some more?

We can't. Not from Paul.

He's... he's all tapped out.

Come on. Let's split.

I don't want to sit
here jonesing all night.

I'm certainly not going to eat.

It's not locked.

Hey, Brandon.

Hey, Joe.

You're on campus late.

Well, the news never sleeps.

Besides, I was kind of
hoping I'd find you here.

Oh, yeah? What's going on?

Well, we got this press
release at the paper today.

I just kind of wanted to
follow up with you on it.

What press release is that?

You're quoted. You should know.

Right. The ankle thing.

Well, good news. I'm fine.

Great. Everything else okay?

Knee? Back? Neck? Thyroid gland?

What is this? A
fishing expedition?

Actually, let me take myself
off the record here, Joe.

Donna told me that you
went to see her father,

and you may have some
kind of heart condition.

She had no business
telling you that.

She only said anything
because she cares.

Come on, Brandon, you
know how doctors work.

One tells you one thing,
one tells you another.

I'm fine.

You sure?

Let me tell you something.

When I was 16, I had
a really bad accident.

I was rock climbing.

Fell off a cliff
nearly 100 feet.

Check out these scars.

Doctor said I'd
never walk again.

But I did, and here I am,

California University's
starting quarterback,

and I'm taking the Condors
to the Rose Bowl next year.

Every day of my life,

I have dreamed of
playing in the pros.

And if I had listened
to those doctors,

I'd still be stuck
in that wheelchair.

Yeah. I understand.

I wish you could get
Donna to understand.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh, hey, Brandon.

Is this going to be in
the newspaper tomorrow?

No. Like I said, this
was off the record.

Thanks, man.

You got it.

I hear there's stuff
coming through here.

Can you help me out?

What kind of stuff?

Like a blizzard.

Follow me.

You a cop?

No, man.

That's funny. I
think I smell ham.

You're smelling 60 bucks

if you get me what I need.

You stay right here. Don't move.

I mean, don't move
until I come back.

I'm not going anywhere.

Spare any change? I got nothing.

I got what you wanted.

Oh, man, took you long enough.

Thanks.

Watch your back.

This is a lousy neighborhood.

Did you get it?

Yeah, I got it. Give me some.

No, let's wait till we
get home, all right?

This whole scene gives
me the creeps. Come on.

Have some scotch.

I don't want scotch.
Just have a drink.

It'll make you feel better,
take the edge off. No.

Driver, back to
Venice, Main Street.

Let's just get out of here.

What?

Nothing. I'm just really
not in the mood, that's all.

Okay.

Is something wrong?

Would it fall on
deaf ears if it were?

Uh, no.

Could've fooled me.

All right, I'm lost.

No, David, you're blind.

And I can't figure out why.

You've been down
this road before.

You know the signs of
drug use better than anyone.

Think about it.

When was the last
time you saw Kelly

before she waltzed in here
acting like Santa Claus?

Not for a while. And
when was the last time

you saw Kelly come in here

and shower me with
gifts of love and affection?

Face it, David,

she was high.

So what should I do?

I don't know.

But you're her brother.

You better do something.

Something's wrong, Colin...
This stuff tastes weird.

I'm not getting a buzz at all.

We got ripped off, Kelly.

I don't know what this is,

but it sure the
hell isn't cocaine.

Wh-What were you thinking?

Didn't you taste it
before you got it?

Yeah, sure, right in the
middle of a dark alley

I'm gonna test the merchandise.

He could've had a gun, Kelly.

Congratulations, you
just blew 60 bucks.

This stuff sucks. Yeah,
well, if you hadn't hoovered up

the last of the stash, we'd
be fine now, wouldn't we?

Who are you calling?

Paul.

It's Colin.

S.O.S., man.

I thought you said
he didn't have any.

Just give us a
pinch of yours until...

I'll pay double.

I said I'll pay double.

Outstanding.

I'll be right over.

Bye.

Go. Hurry up.

Get... get in a good stretch,

because today we're
up for a serious run.

Oh, of course we are.

We're serious people here.

So, you know that press
release we got on Joe

from the athletic
department? Yeah.

Yeah, it's a snow job.

You mean there is something
wrong with his ankle?

No, not his ankle, his heart.

His heart?

Yeah. I talked to
Donna off the record.

She said Joe may have some
sort of congenital heart defect.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes. But there
are differing opinions.

Two doctors, two diagnoses.

Turns out one of the
doctors is Donna's father.

And doc number two?

Recommended by
the athletic department.

Oh, man.

So, what's Joe going to do?

He's listening to the
guy that says he's fine

so he can keep playing football.

How convenient for
the athletic department.

So, when are you
gonna interview Joe?

I'm not.

We aren't covering this story.

Are you crazy?

The athletic department is
putting up a smoke screen

around its star quarterback,
and you're gonna do nothing?

I told you, it was
off the record.

Well, then go on the record.

Look.

Joe's my friend.

If we even hint that there may
be something wrong with him,

we could jeopardize
his entire career.

No, Brandon.

Joe is doing that
all by himself.

This sucks.

Yeah, it's penance
for our sins...

It's supposed to suck.

Welcome jawbreakers.

Of course, I mean lawbreakers.

In case you're lost,

this is the Last
Laugh Traffic School.

My name is Lou Nebitts,

but before you go
calling me "Mrs. Nebbish,"

let me remind you
that I have control

over your driving records.

So feel free to laugh
whenever I say something funny.

That wasn't funny.

You're telling me.

Any comedian with talent

is not gonna be
headlining traffic school.

All right, then,

who can tell me what is the
cause of most moving violations?

Speeding?

No. Illegal turns?

No, sir. Internal combustion.

Have you ever taken
this class before?

No.

Obviously not.

Because you don't know

the first rule of Lou
Nebitts' traffic school...

"Never be funnier
than the teacher."

But seriously, folks,

the major cause of
most moving violations

is poor time management.

So, what'd they
nab you for, Shecky?

Oh, this is all her fault.

Yeah, you wish.

You know, I should've
trusted my instincts and gone

to gourmet traffic school.
Then why don't you just

change your major to home ec?

This seems like there's

a little unresolved anger...
Maybe you two should have gone

to conflict-avoidance
traffic school.

Then we never would
have met you, Lou.

I don't... know
him, he's just...

Aren't they cute? The
fighting Wallendas.

Tell me, do you fight in bed?

No. Yep.

It's none of your business.

And what are you laughing at?

- Tough workout?
- Mm-hmm.

Kelly dropped that off for you.

What is it? I don't know.

I'm waiting to
find out... open it.

What's the occasion?
No occasion.

She and Colin came by

giving gifts to all her
friends... me included.

It's a Mont Blanc pen.

A sterling silver
Mont Blanc pen.

Do you know what that's worth?

That's, like, over $600.

No way.

They must've been flying.

Either that or Kelly's
gone completely crazy.

Wait a second, are you
saying that Kelly was high?

I don't think it, I know it.

I can't believe that.

You know what, you're
like everybody else.

You can't believe
that little Miss Perfect

can do anything wrong.

The light is driving me
crazy... I can't get to sleep.

It's not the light

that's keeping
you up, believe me.

I feel like I haven't
slept in days.

You haven't.

I can't keep doing this.

Aren't you gonna get that?

No. I don't want
to talk to anybody.

All right, you called.

What's up?

Hey, Colin.

Uh, it's me, Brandon.

Actually, I'm calling for Kelly.

Well, I guess I-I'm calling
for both of you guys.

Thanks for the awesome
pen, although I have no idea

what I did to deserve it.

Just wanted to make
sure you guys are all right.

People are starting to wonder.

Give me a call, Kel. Bye.

Are we all right?

Never better. Wish I
could say the same.

I got to get out of here...
I need some sleep.

You'll be fine once you crash.

Here, take some downers.

Makes for softer landing.

Lay down, and try to
close your eyes, okay?

No, I can't.

I want my own bed.

I'm gonna go home, okay?

There's a war going on

on the highways of our country,

and innocents are
being slaughtered

by the drunken, the drugged,

and those who just don't think.

What right do they have

to endanger my life, to threaten
my wife and my children?

I mean, what right...

Great flick you took me to.

Enough already.

I'm sick of being blamed for
something that you started.

Shh. Shh!

You're a big boy... You
could've just said no.

That's easy for you to say.

We hope you enjoyed

our feature presentation
of Red Asphalt III.

Siskel and Ebert gave
this classic "two thumbs off."

Good. You're finally
getting the picture.

Speeding is no laughing matter.

Now, why don't we
take that bathroom break.

Some of you look
like you could use it.

Yeah, it's Max. How's it going?

What?

They didn't show up?

But we tape in two hours!

Um, yeah, look, um, don't worry,

I'll figure something out, okay?

Crisis on the set.

Hey, listen, uh, my
name's Max Roman.

I'm here because I
pulled a 180 on PCH,

but I also happen to be
a producer of Back Talk.

Now, you ever watch it?
Yeah, channel nine, right?

Wrong. Channel 11. Right, right.

You know, you two...
you two are dynamite.

No, no, look, I want you

to come with me when
we get sprung out of here,

and I want you
to tape a segment.

It's called "Tangled
Up in Love."

It's about couples
who keep fighting

all the time, and
we'll do that whole

love-hate thing, huh?

Well, there's no love-hate here.

Speak for yourself, honey. Ow!

Now, it's not great money,

but it is only gonna
take a couple of hours.

So, what do you say, huh?

Come on... from one

high-risk driver to another?

Sure. Forget it.

You're gonna be perfect.

Listen, um,

I heard from the
athletic department

about Joe's heart.

You did?

Yeah. Um...

I really feel bad
for him, Donna,

and you, too.

Yeah, well, the worst part is,

Joe's pushing himself
even harder now.

You know your
father is a great doctor.

Yeah. Um, what exactly

was his diagnosis anyway?

I mean, I know it
was some type of, um,

congenital heart defect.

Well, I-I thought you talked

to the athletic department...
They didn't tell you?

Um, you know,
actually, I got to go.

Um, maybe we can have
coffee some other time.

Good luck. Wait, Susan.

You're not gonna write a
story about this, are you?

I don't know.

Hey, Joe. Hey, Susan.

Hi. Hey.

What were you
talking to Susan about?

Uh, nothing.

Just like you were talking
to Brandon about nothing?

These people run

the school newspaper, Donna.

These people are
my friends, Joe.

Oh, yeah, until they
think they've got a story.

Then they're nobody's friends.

That is not true.

You know what?

I kind of hope they do
write a story about you.

Because then maybe you'll
pay attention to common sense.

If The Condor even suggests

that there's something wrong
with me, I'm damaged goods.

That ends all hopes I
have for a pro career.

What kind of career are you
gonna have if you're dead?

Whose side are you on?

Yours...

If you'd just open your
eyes wide enough to see it.

David.

Hey.

What's going on?

Nothing. I'm just looking
for Kelly. Is she here?

No, man, she got
bored watching me work.

She took off a while ago.

Is something wrong?

I don't know. I haven't
seen her in a while.

She's been hanging out here.

Actually, she hasn't
been feeling that great.

I've been taking good
care of her, though.

That's good.

Because I really care
about her, you know?

Yeah, so do I.

I'd do anything for
Kelly, you know that.

Even share your drugs with her?

Is that the line Valerie's
been feeding you?

She's expressed her concern.

I bet she has, and I bet you

jumped all over
it, too, didn't you?

You and your girlfriend
are way off-base.

Just stop, all right?

I know when someone's using.

I can tell by looking.

Kelly's clean.

So am I.

Don't make me laugh.

You know what?

I don't need you or any
other 12-step convert

coming into my house,
telling me my business.

I don't care what you do,

but if you don't stop giving
your drugs to my sister,

the only thing you're gonna
find up your nose is my fist.

You finished?

Yeah, Beverly Hills, please.

The number for
a Dr. John Martin.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm just checking the facts.

Don't look at me like that.

You're building a
story, one that I told you

was officially off the record.

For you, maybe.

Look, I talked to Donna.

I talked to Kip Hardwick
in the Athletic Department.

I talked to Dr. Levin,

the one who gave Joe
that clean bill of health.

I've done it all on my own

without involving or
compromising you.

You're unbelievable.

Look, I don't even
have to use Joe's name.

I can slant the whole story

around the manipulation
of the Athletic Department.

The religion of football,
winning at any cost.

And what about getting
a story at any cost?

You're as bad as they are.

Joe is putting himself at risk

by ignoring the
advice of Dr. Martin,

a widely respected
cardiologist, I might add.

That's Joe's decision
to make, not yours.

Look, I know

Joe is your friend,
Brandon, but how much

are you willing to
risk for friendship?

You mean to tell me if
you found out Joe was

point-shaving you
wouldn't run a story on that?

Now, you're comparing
horseshoes and hand grenades.

Am I?

Drop the story.

There you are.

Hey. What's up?

What the hell
you trying to pull?

Excuse me?

Siccing your boyfriend on me?

Real smooth, Val...
What other tricks

can you make him do for you?

Wait, I don't know what
you're talking about.

Like hell you don't.

You sent David
over to threaten me?

Hey, I didn't send
David anywhere.

He figured out what was going on

with you and Kelly all
by himself. We all did.

Yeah, well, you're
all out of line.

You and everyone else, leave
Kelly and me alone, all right?

Stay out of our lives!

Colin. Listen to me.

They wouldn't be in your
life without Kelly, okay?

They care about her, not you.

I'm the only one who does.

Just keep them off my back.

What the hell are we doing here?

Why don't you tell me, Clare?

I don't see the
point, all right?

This is the point.

I argue. You bitch. We fight.

Now we get to do it
on national television.

This is a local show, Steve.

This is local?

Yeah. We don't get national

coverage for this? No.

What are we doing here?

- My point exactly.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Time out, okay?
Now, don't start in

on each other
until we're rolling.

You guys are gonna be great.

And here we go!

In five, four, three...

two... and...

Hi. Today on Back Talk,

"Couples Who
Can't Stop Fighting.”

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's welcome our
first combative couple,

Steve and Clare.

So, Steve, who's guilty
of all the bickering?

Let me explain.

No, I'm not gonna let you.

No, not if it involves
any more blame.

Forget it. Blame?

What's he blame you for, Clare?

What does he bl...?
Okay, well, um...

street racing, getting busted,

winding up in traffic school...

Okay, okay!

I'm not blaming you anymore.

Thank you, okay?

I want to thank you.

What?

I'm a little lost here, Steve.

Me, too.

Well, don't you see?

Don't you see
where all this fighting

and bickering and arguing

has gotten us?

On some dinky local talk show?

No.

Behind the wheels
of two speeding cars.

I'm glad we got caught.

Thank God we got caught,

because I could've
gotten you hurt... or worse.

Well, it's not all your fault.

If anything ever happened to you

or that cute little
brain of yours,

I don't think I could
ever forgive myself.

Aw...

What? What do you mean,

my cute little brain?

It was an endearment term.

Oh, it didn't sound
very endearing to me.

You know, you calling me
cute, that's kind of what got us

in this whole mess in the
first place. You remember?

Would you prefer
"sporty"? You got a cute,

sporty little brain?
You're impossible.

I'm impossible?
Yeah, you're impos...

Don't point at me!
The only point's

on top of your head,
but you tease your hair,

so it doesn't show.
Don't point at me!

I won't point at you, okay?
I won't even talk to you?

Kel.

God, am I glad to see you.

Hey.

You don't look so good.

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm just tired.

Oh, yeah. I'm beat, too.

Joe and I have been on such
an emotional roller-coaster

the past few days,
you wouldn't even

believe it, Kel..

Kel?

Hmm?

Nothing.

I just, I thought we could talk.

Can't it wait?

I came home to get some sleep.

Oh. Yeah, I just,

I haven't see you in so long,

and I kind of
needed your advice.

I can't do it right now.

I'm too tired.

He looks healthy enough.

What are you doing here?

I, uh... just
thought I'd come by

and tell you that
I wrote the story.

"Medical Condition of
Condor Q.B. Questionable.

Possible Athletic
Department Cover-Up."

I can't believe
you're gonna run this.

I'm not.

That was some of the
best stuff I ever wrote.

Then why'd you tear it up?

I guess I started
thinking about my sister.

And what she meant to me.

And...?

And... I don't

want to hurt Joe.

There's always another story.

Well, I appreciate that.

I'm sure Joe will, too.

What if he wasn't a friend?
Would you run the story then?

Yeah, I would.

I hope we're doing
the right thing, Brandon.

What if there's
something wrong with him?

Don't even think it.

Buy you a martini?

Sure. I could use one.

Hey, you.

Hi.

Listen, I just came
by to apologize.

I mean, it's your
life, your body,

your decision.

I love you, Donna.

And I'm gonna be fine.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I know.

Listen, why don't
I finish up here

and then I'll take
you out for dinner?

Okay, but only if you
take a shower first. Deal.

I'll pick you up at 7:00.

I'll be ready.

Whoa.