Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 6, Episode 11 - Offensive Interference - full transcript
Donna's mother, Felice, confesses a past indiscretion to her about her involvement in the Rose Bowl tryouts of 1969, causing Donna to question her own innocence. Meanwhile, bounty hunter Jay J. Jones returns and asks Valerie for help in a divorce case he has by posing as a prostitute in a sting operation to catch the husband in the act. A revenge-seeking Ray charges Joe with battery over their Halloween encounter, resulting in Joe being suspended from CU's homecoming football game. Also, Steve tries to protect the CU mascot, the Golden Condor Head, from the rival college. Brandon mourns the departure of Dylan from Beverly Hills, and Susan encourages him to write a paper out Dylan's plight.
Okay, I understand,
but could you please
take a message for Joe?
Who is this?
Is Tiny around?
Well, can I speak to him?
You know what? Never mind.
Thanks for nothing.
Bad phone etiquette
at the jock house?
Either that
or Joe's avoiding me.
Don, it's homecoming week.
It's got to be, you know, like
a totally insane time for Joe
with the game on
Saturday and everything.
Yeah, I know.
But he made me
promise to call him
before I left for
the Tournament House.
Well, I wouldn't make
too much out of it.
It's been a weird week.
That's for sure.
On a more positive note,
we haven't had a Ray Pruit
sighting in days.
You're not calling again,
are you?
I can't help it.
Ti-Tiny?
Hi, it's Donna.
Is Joe around?
Uh, just a second.
A.K., it's Joe's girlfriend.
This is A.K.
Hey, what's going on?
He's talking with the police.
Some guy's claming Joe pounded
on him Halloween night.
On Halloween?
Oh, no.
I'll tell him you called.
I got to go.
Damn him.
Joe?
Ray.
He's not giving up.
Give me some room here, guys.
May I have
your attention, please?
May I have your
attention, please?!
Listen up, Condor maniacs!
Thanks, Muntz.
A lot of you
may already know me.
But for those of you who don't,
I'm Steve Sanders.
I've been appointed the guardian
over the Condor,
Cornelius J. Condor.
I want you all to know
that when our warriors
take that field against
those cross-town
unmentionables...
that Corny will be there!
Corny will be there
as he is every year
to watch over our warriors
to ensure a victory.
- Victory!
- Victory!
Guarding Corny is no easy task.
As I speak,
there are S.C.U. students
conspiring to snatch him.
Uh-huh.
That's not gonna happen
on my watch, folks.
At 3:00 today,
Corny's gonna be crated up
and transported
to a secret location
known only
to my covert Condor patrol.
So until Saturday,
let the demons of generosity
be with us.
Yeah!
Our Corny...
S.C.U. will definitely
be out for revenge.
Last year, a bunch of us
got together
and we stole their stuffed bear.
Yeah, spy versus spy.
Sounds like fun.
It is.
You know, you're part of
C.U. now, Professor Robbins.
Maybe you should join the ranks.
Well, I'd only do it
if you were doing it.
Well, I've already
done it, sorry.
See you later.
Bye.
How'd I do, our man?
Like they say,
sounds like school spirit.
Well, thanks a lot.
Hey, Silver,
where's Valerie?
She was the chief architect
in the great bear heist,
and she's missing all this?
Beats me.
Could've sworn she'd be here.
I'm sorry.
I got here a little early,
Valerie.
All right, Jonesy,
what are you doing here?
Remember that favor I did
for you and Dylan in old Mexico?
It's payback time.
- Yeah, yeah, right.
- Do you mind?
No, no, not at all.
So, uh...
how's detective life?
Well, it's booming.
So, uh, did you
hear about Dylan?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got a, uh, blow by blow
from a bud at the Bureau.
But, uh, you know,
what the hell, I wish him luck.
Yeah, we all do.
Wherever he is.
You know, I could find him
if you want me to.
I don't think
he wants to be found.
That's good, because, uh, that's
not the reason why I'm here.
You're calling in my promise.
You know, that's what
I love about you.
You can dance, Valerie,
you can dance to any tune.
Listen, Jonesy, just break it
down for me first, okay?
I'm not the same girl
I was in Mexico.
Well, I don't know about that.
I mean, from where I'm sitting,
you are definitely, uh, topping
out the old, uh, scorch meter.
- Whoosh!
- You were saying?
Okay, uh, this gig is like
cotton candy compared to Mexico.
I need you for one night, okay?
You don't have to leave town.
And I'll tell you
what, I'll throw in
a very tasteful wardrobe, okay?
You owe me.
Say yes?
Come on, who's your buddy?
Who's your buddy? Yes?
Okay, yes.
Yes!
What's going on?
I might be charged with battery
for that, uh,
that fight with Ray.
I'm sorry.
I had to tell Coach,
and, uh, that's when he realized
that I must have missed
curfew Halloween night.
He checked and found out someone
else had signed in for me.
And, uh, he suspended me
for one game.
Yeah, but if you
hadn't been there,
I don't know what
would have happened to me.
Doesn't matter now.
Sports radio's suddenly
reporting S.C.U.
as a heavy favorite.
This dorm is not exactly
the happiest place on Earth.
Joe.
Coach said
to stay away from her.
You want him to sit you out
for another game?
I have to go, Donna.
I know.
Do us all a favor:
go away.
And I'll tell you what,
I'll throw in a very
tasteful wardrobe, okay?
Dylan, this is Fran Irving
from Lahaina Bay Realty.
Thursday.
I'm dying to show you the most
fabulous piece of beachfront,
but you have to call me.
808-555-0141.
Aloha.
Brandon.
I know.
I said I'd only be a second.
Well, I wouldn't care,
but if I start showing up
late to the staff meetings,
everybody else will, too.
Sorry.
Do you know exactly what
"close up the place" means?
Because it just seems
kind of vague to me,
and I don't know exactly
where to start.
If you want to stay
here, you should.
Just let me take your car, okay?
You want to take my car?
Sure. Why?
No, that's all right.
Let's go.
Look, I know this hasn't been
getting any easier for you.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Yeah, you can cheer me up.
Well, I know something
you can do.
- What's that?
- Well, you haven't written
a column yet this week.
Maybe that might help you
back in the swing of things.
Is that a hint, Ms. Editor?
Of course not.
Now the moment
you've been waiting for.
The announcement
of the seven ladies
who will comprise
the Royal Court.
Princess three,
number 119, Cara Gannon.
Number 381, Tiffany Ramos.
It's about time.
The freeway was
shut down to one lane.
Princess four, number 400,
Virginia Vanover.
Donna's gonna have a fit when
she sees that her mom's here.
Typical Felice.
Show up for the glory.
Hmm, not exactly. She's probably
here to gloat when Donna loses.
Mm-hmm.
Princess five,
number 132, Lisa Dixon.
Number six, number 512,
Neda Shokrian.
I still can't believe
she got this far.
And princess seven,
number 675, Donna Martin.
Well, it looks like you're
going to have to tell her now.
There I am.
It is you.
I knew it was you.
Why would you lie to me?
The day after
this picture was taken,
I found out I was pregnant.
What?
I was 19 years old, living
at home with my parents.
Your father was
in medical school.
We had to get married
as quickly as we could.
I never told anyone.
Not my parents, not
even my best friend.
And then, of course, I had
to drop out of the competition
because the tournament
has rules
about married girls
participating.
That was 26 years ago.
What happened to the baby?
I had a miscarriage.
Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry.
No, Donna, I'm the one
who's sorry.
I wanted you to quit, too.
I didn't want you to find out
what a fraud your mother is.
No, you're not a fraud.
Yes, I am.
I mean, how could
I preach virginity
when here I was, even younger
than you, engaging in free love?
What kind of a life lesson
is that?
I love the lessons
you've taught me.
They're the best lessons.
You don't think I'm a hypocrite?
You'd only be that if you
hadn't told me the truth.
I love you so much.
I only want
the very best for you.
I hope you believe that.
I do.
I love you, too, Mom.
Come on, come on.
Where do we put it?
Put it in the foyer.
You're gonna put it in there?
Why don't you just put
a big sign on it
that says C.U. Mascot?
By the way, it's "foy-yea."
"Foy-yea," whatever.
Listen.
Why don't you just chill
and take orders, okay?
Well, if it isn't
the deserter.
Valerie, where the hell
have you been?
You're missing all the action.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
flake, but something came up.
Can you guys get by
this year without me?
You hear that, Corny?
Valerie's deserting us.
What should I...?
Oh.
What did he say?
He said, Valerie who?
He's a fickle bird.
You guys thirsty?
- There's some beer
in the fridge. - All righty.
So, uh, you okay?
No. Uh, something came up.
Oh, well, if it has anything
to do with the club,
I'll give you a hand.
No, actually, it's personal.
Um, I'm going to have
to go out later.
It's no big deal.
Do you need a ride?
No, I have to finish
up some business.
Alone.
What kind of business?
Old business.
Now are you going to give me
the third degree,
or are you going to kiss me?
No, I'm going to give you
the third degree.
I can't imagine
what's so important.
Fine.
I thought you'd understand.
Understand what? You won't even
tell me what's going on.
Look, David, could I have
my personal life, please?
I mean, do I have
to tell you everything?
Sorry.
Hi.
Come on in the car.
So, you ready to rock
and stroll, Valerie?
I'm not getting out of the car.
Of course you are.
Look, this guy likes to, uh,
pick them up from the streets,
all right?
That's how he gets
his little rush.
Come on, here we go.
Come on. Aah...
Step lightly, me little lassie.
Uh...
Well, um,
you know what I want
you to do, right?
Forget it.
I am not gonna parade around
and shake my little moneymaker,
- okay?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Of course you're not.
I mean, these girls
are, uh, they're too obvious.
What, what this guy wants,
you know, is, uh,
some attitude, right?
So, you just kind of snuggle up
to the old Cadillac here,
show a little.
And you look like you are P.O.'d
at somebody, all right?
Great. I can do that.
Listen, Valerie,
I got your back all the
way on this, all right?
Now, with any kind of luck,
this white limo's
gonna be cruising by
within the hour.
Look, you know me,
I've done my homework.
Why? Because I'm
a total professional.
Wait, I have to get
in the car with him?
Yeah.
No way!
No! No way!
Valerie, Valerie,
no, no, no, listen,
listen, listen, okay?
The driver...
he's working with us.
He's gonna take you
to the Bel Ami Hotel,
because, uh, fun boy likes
to impress the trash.
Oh, thanks for the compliment.
At-at the hotel, I've got
a photographer placed there.
Catch him with his pants down.
Pop. Pop. Click. Click.
We fold up the tent
and on to our, uh,
meaningful lives.
All right, who is this guy?
Well, that's a secret, remember?
But, uh, I don't know,
we can call him the Duke.
And is there a "Duchess"?
Oh, yeah,
but she's hoping
to become an ex-Duchess.
Or should I say
a very rich ex-Duchess?
The, uh, photos are...
well, they're for her.
What, you're working
on a divorce case?
Yeah.
- How cheesy.
- Wha...
This guy's a creep.
He's a wife beater,
he deserves to be put away.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's going on?
What are you guys doing here?
Kelly, your man is our
deepest cover agent.
He's been working
for the cause all week.
He has?
It's no big deal.
I, uh, I oversaw the making
of a counterfeit Cornelius
J. Condor in the art lab.
That's about it.
- You're kidding.
- Mm-hmm.
That's a decoy sitting
in the Walsh Foyer.
Huh.
So, where's the real Corny?
Hmm, I have no idea.
Oh!
Hello?
Joe?
I thought you couldn't call.
Yeah, well, the guys are over
at the Coach's for a chalk talk.
Donna, why didn't you tell me
that you made the court?
You heard?
Yeah, I had to watch it on TV.
You looked so pretty,
so excited.
Yeah, I was.
Hey, don't worry about me.
All right, everything
works out for the best.
They do?
Yeah.
You just have to keep faith.
That's what my dad
always used to say,
and he made a believer
out of me.
I can't believe
how calm you are.
Anything more happen
with the police?
Yeah, uh, the city attorney
reviewed Ray's complaint
and pressed formal charges.
I'm really sorry.
No one's supposed to know
until Monday.
That's when I'm being arraigned.
Well, is there anything
- I can do?
- Yeah.
I'm sure my lawyer would love
to talk to you tomorrow.
Oh. Okay.
Sure, um... any time.
I just have to be
at the Tournament House
in the afternoon.
Just tell him to call me.
Okay, I will.
Uh, his name is Bruce Paxton.
Look, I'd better get going.
I'll talk to you soon.
And, uh...
I really miss you, Donna.
I miss you, too.
You know, I don't get it.
Is it too much to ask?
Can you at least stand up?
Jonesy, my feet are
killing me, okay?
Face it, the white
limo is not coming.
Well, you might be right.
I should probably pull the plug.
Terrific. Jonesy,
have a great life.
Sorry it didn't work out.
No, wait, wait.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
You gotta trust me here.
Now this guy is a...
he's a, he's a creature
of habit, all right?
I think we should get
one more night.
Besides, little girl,
you owe me.
Sanders, I know I agreed
to this little homecoming stunt,
but could you please
keep Muntz and company
from dropping chips
and beer nuts
all over
953 Hillcrest Drive, huh?
Hey, chill, man.
It'll all be over tonight.
You look like you
could use some fun.
Why don't you hang out
with us tonight?
No. I've got stuff to do at
McKay's and a column to write.
Just don't turn my house
into a frat sty.
He'll snap out of it.
Okay, well, thank you
for coming in.
Whatever I can do.
Well, you're
an eyewitness, Donna.
Your word carries
lots of weight.
You know, I, uh,
I was wondering
what could happen to Joe
if he's found guilty?
Well, the maximum penalty
is a $2,000 fine
and six months in jail.
Don't worry about that.
After hearing your side
of the story,
I think we have
a defense here;
Joe was protecting you.
But the thing is,
after Monday's arraignment,
the fact that you were abused
by your ex-boyfriend
is going to become
a matter of public record.
So, you ready for that?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I will be
as soon as I tell my parents.
Steve, anything?
Yes! Yes!
We have liftoff.
Shh, Valerie's still sleeping.
Not anymore.
She's up.
Sort of.
Sorry, Val.
No, you're not.
What am I, invisible?
Morning, David.
Hey, you want me to get you
some juice or something?
You look pretty wasted.
Oh, yeah, that would be great.
Thanks.
I guess I got in
pretty late, huh?
Yeah.
Well, I, I gave up calling
after 1:30.
So, how'd it go?
Listen, I don't want
to talk about it.
Just don't make a big deal
about it, okay?
Well, whatever it was,
I'm, uh, I'm glad it's over.
I'm gonna take you out tonight,
so I don't want any arguments.
David, I can't go out tonight.
This business isn't finished.
I gotta know.
Um...
Is there a... a guy involved?
Just tell me that.
Please, no questions, okay?
I mean, I'll be able
to tell you someday.
I just can't tell you right now.
So there is a guy involved.
Yes, but it's not
what you think.
What guy?
Are you gonna get me juice
or not?
Do I know him?
Why are you acting so jealous?
I'm not jealous, all right?
I'm just upset 'cause
you won't be honest with me.
You know what?
Forget about the juice.
Just forget about
the good mornings.
Just leave me the hell alone,
okay? I need a shower.
It's a nice outfit.
Who'd you wear this for?
David, look,
I have a headache, okay?
It's not like we're
married or something.
Just give me
a little space here.
I'll give you tons of space.
You're acting so childish.
I really hate that.
How else can I act?
It's not like I'm one
of the guys
who gets to be adult with you.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know how you keep telling me
to be patient
with this relationship?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I think
my patience just ran out.
Lisa.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Want to grab a bite to eat?
- Oh, I'd love to,
but I've got to get
straight to work.
I need to talk to my boss
about my schedule.
I didn't realize
there was gonna be
so many fittings next week.
Well, if you ever need
any help with anything,
just ask.
I warn you, I'm not shy.
Who's that?
That's Ray.
The Ray?
Yeah. I'll see you later.
No, no, no, I'm gonna
wait right here for you.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, Donna.
How'd you know I was here?
You could get the schedule for
the Royal Court just by calling.
Look, I'm really happy for you.
I kind of feel like
I've been there
since the beginning of all this.
How can you stand there
sweet-talking me
when you are making my life
and Joe's a living hell?
Look, I gave you fair warning,
and I'm gonna give you
a second chance.
- What are you talking about?
- My lawyer said
there's no case against Joe
if I don't testify.
So, what do you want me to do?
Dump Joe and come running
back to you?
Is that so bad?
We were happy, Donna.
No! No, we were living a lie.
And anything more between us
makes that a bigger lie.
Now go ahead with your charges.
The truth will come out.
Yeah, it will.
I'll see you in court.
Hi.
Hi.
I was driving by
and I saw your car.
What's in the bag?
Good eats.
In case we get hungry.
Just driving by, huh?
Okay.
I didn't think you should
have to do this alone.
Shouldn't you be off
guarding Cornelius J. Condor
or something?
Brandon, you're not
the only one who misses him.
Sorry.
It's just I've been,
I've been coming here all week
and checking his messages
and getting his mail and...
I don't think
he's ever coming back.
So, why do I bother?
Because you're his friend,
and you love him.
And that's not ever gonna
change for you or for me.
Well...
I'm glad you came.
Good. Do you want
some help or not?
Yes. Fine, I want some help.
Good.
Hey.
How you doing?
Okay, I'm gonna
call you, all right?
I will. I promise.
Valerie?
Where're you going?
Don't be going anywhere.
What's the matter with you?
Look, I'm going
to get some coffee.
The guy can wait.
Let's get something
clear, all right?
You have a chance to share
in a sizable bonus.
- So?
- "So"?
So don't forget
we are playing hardball.
Come on, batter up, girl.
You know, this is
all making me
a little too hard. I think
I lost my boyfriend today.
Yeah, well, that might
be for the best.
I mean, he's probably
one of these guys
who's just gonna fade
when the chips are down.
You know, I can't believe
I'm getting dating advice
from a guy that Dylan told me
travels with an inflatable doll.
See, right there, man.
Right there, right there.
Rumors, rumors, ru...
Wait a second.
Here we go.
Here we go. Come on.
Uh-uh. Shoo. Shoo, shoo.
I got just the ticket
for you tonight, sport.
I'm sorry. I'm just looking
for directions.
No, no. Listen to me closely.
I can get you
into paradise tonight.
Meet Heavenly.
Are you gonna leave
me standing here,
or can I come in?
Well, I'm not sure I understand.
Let me make this
real simple, okay?
$200 an hour and
she gets in your car.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Guaranteed.
Police officer.
Hold it right there.
- Put your hands on the car.
- Ahh...
What's going on?
We're cooked.
You're under arrest
for violation 647B
of the Penal Code of
the state of California.
You have the right
to remain silent.
If you choose
to give up that right,
everything you say can
and will be used against you
in a court of law.
Do you understand those rights?
Yes.
Come on.
Easy, easy,
easy!
Aw.
I hate you.
You asked for it.
Hi, Susan.
Come on in.
I am in.
- This probably looks
pretty strange. - Yeah.
Oh, please, don't, uh,
stop on my account.
Really, I just brought by
these brownies.
I thought you might
need a little sugar rush.
No, no, don't need that.
How are you at controlling
a, uh, killer plastic robot?
Oh, go ahead, really.
I don't need to play.
Oh, yes, you do,
because I am late
for a very important date,
and I guess we got
a little carried away here.
It's all my fault.
I never should've
given Dylan this
in the first place.
I can't believe he kept it.
Well,
I'm gonna leave while
I am still undefeated.
She lies.
Hey, Kel, thanks
for all your help.
I-I appreciate it.
You're welcome.
Looks like Kelly got
you out of your funk.
Yeah, well, she's a good friend.
I, uh, baked them myself.
Well, you know, I-I don't
really deserve one.
I haven't, uh,
written my column yet.
You know, I don't care.
I want to be a good friend, too.
Actually, I want to be a lot
more than a good friend.
Hello.
David.
Valerie? I'm sleeping.
Good-bye.
Don't hang up, okay.
You're my one call.
What?
Listen, just listen
to me very carefully.
I need you to bail me out.
You're in jail?
Can you get a thousand
dollars in cash?
What are you in jail for?
I'm in Central Detention
downtown.
I'll, uh, I'll tell you why
later.
No, no, no, tell me now.
What'd they arrest you for?
Prostitution.
What? You're serious?
It was all a mistake.
Please, just hurry, okay?
That's it, honey.
Everybody's waiting.
Here's your stuff, honey.
I'll get your walking papers.
Thank you.
Sure.
So, are you okay?
Yeah.
I guess I really
disappointed you.
I guess.
Listen, David,
I want to explain.
Not now.
You know, Val,
I can't help thinking...
You could've phoned anyone
with that one call. I mean...
Brandon, Steve, Nat...
But you called me.
Wasn't even close.
Why?
You're the only one
I can let see me like this.
I'm really embarrassed, David.
Don't be.
We'll handle it.
Oh... Val!
Well, here we are. I was just,
uh, getting to you.
Well, you're a little late.
Listen, I am so sorry,
putting you through what you
had to go through, but, uh...
Oh, Val, you gotta look at
the bright side of things, huh?
Well, I hope you
pulled some strings.
Strings?
I pulled the whole rope.
Now, uh, all the charges
have been dropped
and, uh, your record is clean.
- Who is this clown?
- Clown?
- Yeah.
- Why? Are you laughing?
David! David, listen. Wait.
This is Jay J. Jones.
- David?
- Yeah. Detective,
um... he's a friend of Dylan's.
And a friend of yours, Val.
So, uh... this is
the, uh, new boyfriend, huh?
I've heard all about you.
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I can't say the same.
Well, I'm sure our gal Val
will fill you in.
You see, kid, we were
on a mission last night,
fighting for the forces of good.
But unfortunately,
uh... we lost.
So I noticed.
What happened?
What happened?
Well, apparently
the Duke got wind
of our little sting
through a friend of his wife
and decided to sting us instead.
Well, it worked.
Yeah.
But I'm happy to report
that I got half
the money up front.
Of course, I'm sad to report
that little lady won't be
seeing any of the bonus.
Well, that's all right,
because I already
got my bonus...
a guy who doesn't fade.
Thanks for agreeing
to see me.
Make this quick.
We got a pregame meeting
over at the field.
Okay, I can make it quick.
Look, I just don't want you
or the other guys to be
mad at Joe because of me.
Yeah, sure.
No problem.
See ya.
Please.
I don't think you understand,
and...
I didn't understand
until yesterday.
Understand what?
I don't think Joe told you
the whole story about
what went down Halloween night.
We heard enough.
Look, the night
that Joe broke curfew,
he wasn't partying.
He was protecting me
from an abusive ex-boyfriend.
He was scared
that I was in danger...
and I was.
I'm sorry.
He really should've
said something.
Yeah, well, I think
he was more concerned
about my reputation
than anything else,
and I think that's
the same reason
why he's such a great leader
on the field.
'Cause he's more concerned
about everyone else
than himself. So...
You'll have to forgive her guys.
I think she's laying it
on a little thick.
I don't think so.
A.K.,
you're team captain.
Am I exaggerating about Joe?
No.
I think she's dead on.
All right, Condors!
Okay...
Okay, well, it's game day.
Right on.
The big question
on everybody's lips other than
are we gonna win is...
- Where's Corny?!
- Where's Corny?!
Yeah!
Where's Corny?
Exactly.
So if you'll take a look
at the big screen behind me,
you'll find out.
Not exactly. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
In case you may have heard
that Corny was being paraded
around the S.C.U. campus,
well...
...it's not true.
It's not true.
The real Corny is right here!
All right, let's give it up
for my Condor Commandos!
We've got Clare Arnold.
Stand up, Clare.
We have Kelly Taylor.
We have Assistant
Professor Colin Robbins
and a host of others who didn't
do enough to get singled out.
And Madman Muntz.
Go!
Condors!
- Go!
- Condors!
- Condors!
- Go!
- Go!
- Condors!
All right!
What a catch!
What a start to this
important Pac-10 game.
That 42-yard reception
leaves the Bears
within breathing room
of another touchdown.
It's been four minutes
of football
that the Condor fans
would rather forget,
The whole team is definitely
looking for a wake-up call
that has not come.
And here go the Bears,
first and goal.
The snap...
Kreuscher drifts back to pass.
Look out, there's the Condor's
number 55, A.K. Carson,
bearing down on him.
Kreuscher is sacked!
What a hit.
You got your column?
Yeah, you gave it to me
a couple of days ago.
Really?
What's your lead?
"Friendship sucks."
You're writing about Dylan,
aren't you?
Yeah.
Save a copy for him.
You never know.
Coach Lyons is sending in a play
from the sidelines.
And here we go.
That's fourth and seven.
The Condors are forced to punt.
There's a snap.
The kick's away...
It looks good.
Bears take it
at their own 32.
The Condors have to consider
themselves lucky,
That's the truth.
The whole team looks
lost without Bradley.
The Condor fans
with that Joe Bradley...
Can we, uh, turn off
the game for a second?
There's something I need
to tell you and Mom.
Yeah, sure.
It's about why Joe isn't
playing in the game today,
but more than that,
it's about me and Ray.
I thought I could
avoid telling you guys,
but I have to.
It's kind of like how you had
to tell me your secret, Mom.
Okay, what is it, sweetheart?
Mom... Dad...
this is really hard for me.
There was something
really terrible going on
between me and Ray.
He was hurting me.
What?
You mean, physically?
Yeah.
Oh, Donna.
Look, if you don't mind,
I don't really want to get
into the details.
It's just kind of humiliating.
I just wanted you guys
to know that I'm okay.
Palm Springs.
You didn't fall down
those stairs, did you?
No.
Here I was going on about
how much he loved you.
We couldn't understand
why the two of you
weren't together anymore.
He seemed like such a good kid
all summer long on the boat.
I never would have guessed.
Well, it didn't happen
all the time,
but when it did,
it was kind of bad.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, Mom.
I'm sorry.
Anyway I just...
I wanted you guys to know
why Joe wasn't playing today.
It's because he protected me
when Ray tried to do this again.
And now he might
go to jail for it.
Oh, no,
we're not gonna let that happen.
Donna, we're gonna do
everything we can.
We're gonna stand behind
you and Joe all the way.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Sweetheart,
I don't want you ever to feel
afraid to tell me anything.
Same goes for you, Mom.
Oh, you.
Nat, I need two mega burgers
and an order of fried zucchini.
Done. Oh, spread the word...
in honor of the 35 points
that the Condors scored
in the second half,
I'm taking 35% off
of everything on the menu.
Nat, what's gotten into you?
I can remember a time,
and it wasn't so long ago,
that everything would be
on the house.
Hey, if I did that
for every C.U. victory
this season, I'd
be out of business.
This team's going
to the Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl...!
Rose Bowl's a definite
possibility now.
That was a huge win.
I knew those guys
could pull it off.
Yeah, the team wouldn't quit.
Quit? Are you kidding?
They smoked those Bears.
Maybe they play
better with Mac as quarterback.
Well, I wouldn't worry.
I think it's just like
your father says,
things always work out
for the best.
Yeah, well, I hope that
applies to the case, too.
I'm so exhausted,
I need a vacation.
Well, Thanksgiving will
take care of that.
Oh, no, no, no, there'll be no
rest for Steve on Thanksgiving.
We're having dinner
at Casa Walsh.
So, book early, kids.
Count me in.
How about you, Colin?
You up for a little
left-coast feast?
I meant to tell you,
I'm going back
to New York for the holiday.
You are? Well, you're no fun.
You should tell that to Susan.
She's going to New York, too.
Okay, go Big Apple on us.
I think we can get
along without them.
Do you think we can?
I think we can.
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl, Rose Bowl...!
You know, you haven't
asked me a single question
about what happened.
I uh, don't really
care anymore.
You're the only one
who believes in me.
And I always will.
but could you please
take a message for Joe?
Who is this?
Is Tiny around?
Well, can I speak to him?
You know what? Never mind.
Thanks for nothing.
Bad phone etiquette
at the jock house?
Either that
or Joe's avoiding me.
Don, it's homecoming week.
It's got to be, you know, like
a totally insane time for Joe
with the game on
Saturday and everything.
Yeah, I know.
But he made me
promise to call him
before I left for
the Tournament House.
Well, I wouldn't make
too much out of it.
It's been a weird week.
That's for sure.
On a more positive note,
we haven't had a Ray Pruit
sighting in days.
You're not calling again,
are you?
I can't help it.
Ti-Tiny?
Hi, it's Donna.
Is Joe around?
Uh, just a second.
A.K., it's Joe's girlfriend.
This is A.K.
Hey, what's going on?
He's talking with the police.
Some guy's claming Joe pounded
on him Halloween night.
On Halloween?
Oh, no.
I'll tell him you called.
I got to go.
Damn him.
Joe?
Ray.
He's not giving up.
Give me some room here, guys.
May I have
your attention, please?
May I have your
attention, please?!
Listen up, Condor maniacs!
Thanks, Muntz.
A lot of you
may already know me.
But for those of you who don't,
I'm Steve Sanders.
I've been appointed the guardian
over the Condor,
Cornelius J. Condor.
I want you all to know
that when our warriors
take that field against
those cross-town
unmentionables...
that Corny will be there!
Corny will be there
as he is every year
to watch over our warriors
to ensure a victory.
- Victory!
- Victory!
Guarding Corny is no easy task.
As I speak,
there are S.C.U. students
conspiring to snatch him.
Uh-huh.
That's not gonna happen
on my watch, folks.
At 3:00 today,
Corny's gonna be crated up
and transported
to a secret location
known only
to my covert Condor patrol.
So until Saturday,
let the demons of generosity
be with us.
Yeah!
Our Corny...
S.C.U. will definitely
be out for revenge.
Last year, a bunch of us
got together
and we stole their stuffed bear.
Yeah, spy versus spy.
Sounds like fun.
It is.
You know, you're part of
C.U. now, Professor Robbins.
Maybe you should join the ranks.
Well, I'd only do it
if you were doing it.
Well, I've already
done it, sorry.
See you later.
Bye.
How'd I do, our man?
Like they say,
sounds like school spirit.
Well, thanks a lot.
Hey, Silver,
where's Valerie?
She was the chief architect
in the great bear heist,
and she's missing all this?
Beats me.
Could've sworn she'd be here.
I'm sorry.
I got here a little early,
Valerie.
All right, Jonesy,
what are you doing here?
Remember that favor I did
for you and Dylan in old Mexico?
It's payback time.
- Yeah, yeah, right.
- Do you mind?
No, no, not at all.
So, uh...
how's detective life?
Well, it's booming.
So, uh, did you
hear about Dylan?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got a, uh, blow by blow
from a bud at the Bureau.
But, uh, you know,
what the hell, I wish him luck.
Yeah, we all do.
Wherever he is.
You know, I could find him
if you want me to.
I don't think
he wants to be found.
That's good, because, uh, that's
not the reason why I'm here.
You're calling in my promise.
You know, that's what
I love about you.
You can dance, Valerie,
you can dance to any tune.
Listen, Jonesy, just break it
down for me first, okay?
I'm not the same girl
I was in Mexico.
Well, I don't know about that.
I mean, from where I'm sitting,
you are definitely, uh, topping
out the old, uh, scorch meter.
- Whoosh!
- You were saying?
Okay, uh, this gig is like
cotton candy compared to Mexico.
I need you for one night, okay?
You don't have to leave town.
And I'll tell you
what, I'll throw in
a very tasteful wardrobe, okay?
You owe me.
Say yes?
Come on, who's your buddy?
Who's your buddy? Yes?
Okay, yes.
Yes!
What's going on?
I might be charged with battery
for that, uh,
that fight with Ray.
I'm sorry.
I had to tell Coach,
and, uh, that's when he realized
that I must have missed
curfew Halloween night.
He checked and found out someone
else had signed in for me.
And, uh, he suspended me
for one game.
Yeah, but if you
hadn't been there,
I don't know what
would have happened to me.
Doesn't matter now.
Sports radio's suddenly
reporting S.C.U.
as a heavy favorite.
This dorm is not exactly
the happiest place on Earth.
Joe.
Coach said
to stay away from her.
You want him to sit you out
for another game?
I have to go, Donna.
I know.
Do us all a favor:
go away.
And I'll tell you what,
I'll throw in a very
tasteful wardrobe, okay?
Dylan, this is Fran Irving
from Lahaina Bay Realty.
Thursday.
I'm dying to show you the most
fabulous piece of beachfront,
but you have to call me.
808-555-0141.
Aloha.
Brandon.
I know.
I said I'd only be a second.
Well, I wouldn't care,
but if I start showing up
late to the staff meetings,
everybody else will, too.
Sorry.
Do you know exactly what
"close up the place" means?
Because it just seems
kind of vague to me,
and I don't know exactly
where to start.
If you want to stay
here, you should.
Just let me take your car, okay?
You want to take my car?
Sure. Why?
No, that's all right.
Let's go.
Look, I know this hasn't been
getting any easier for you.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Yeah, you can cheer me up.
Well, I know something
you can do.
- What's that?
- Well, you haven't written
a column yet this week.
Maybe that might help you
back in the swing of things.
Is that a hint, Ms. Editor?
Of course not.
Now the moment
you've been waiting for.
The announcement
of the seven ladies
who will comprise
the Royal Court.
Princess three,
number 119, Cara Gannon.
Number 381, Tiffany Ramos.
It's about time.
The freeway was
shut down to one lane.
Princess four, number 400,
Virginia Vanover.
Donna's gonna have a fit when
she sees that her mom's here.
Typical Felice.
Show up for the glory.
Hmm, not exactly. She's probably
here to gloat when Donna loses.
Mm-hmm.
Princess five,
number 132, Lisa Dixon.
Number six, number 512,
Neda Shokrian.
I still can't believe
she got this far.
And princess seven,
number 675, Donna Martin.
Well, it looks like you're
going to have to tell her now.
There I am.
It is you.
I knew it was you.
Why would you lie to me?
The day after
this picture was taken,
I found out I was pregnant.
What?
I was 19 years old, living
at home with my parents.
Your father was
in medical school.
We had to get married
as quickly as we could.
I never told anyone.
Not my parents, not
even my best friend.
And then, of course, I had
to drop out of the competition
because the tournament
has rules
about married girls
participating.
That was 26 years ago.
What happened to the baby?
I had a miscarriage.
Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry.
No, Donna, I'm the one
who's sorry.
I wanted you to quit, too.
I didn't want you to find out
what a fraud your mother is.
No, you're not a fraud.
Yes, I am.
I mean, how could
I preach virginity
when here I was, even younger
than you, engaging in free love?
What kind of a life lesson
is that?
I love the lessons
you've taught me.
They're the best lessons.
You don't think I'm a hypocrite?
You'd only be that if you
hadn't told me the truth.
I love you so much.
I only want
the very best for you.
I hope you believe that.
I do.
I love you, too, Mom.
Come on, come on.
Where do we put it?
Put it in the foyer.
You're gonna put it in there?
Why don't you just put
a big sign on it
that says C.U. Mascot?
By the way, it's "foy-yea."
"Foy-yea," whatever.
Listen.
Why don't you just chill
and take orders, okay?
Well, if it isn't
the deserter.
Valerie, where the hell
have you been?
You're missing all the action.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
flake, but something came up.
Can you guys get by
this year without me?
You hear that, Corny?
Valerie's deserting us.
What should I...?
Oh.
What did he say?
He said, Valerie who?
He's a fickle bird.
You guys thirsty?
- There's some beer
in the fridge. - All righty.
So, uh, you okay?
No. Uh, something came up.
Oh, well, if it has anything
to do with the club,
I'll give you a hand.
No, actually, it's personal.
Um, I'm going to have
to go out later.
It's no big deal.
Do you need a ride?
No, I have to finish
up some business.
Alone.
What kind of business?
Old business.
Now are you going to give me
the third degree,
or are you going to kiss me?
No, I'm going to give you
the third degree.
I can't imagine
what's so important.
Fine.
I thought you'd understand.
Understand what? You won't even
tell me what's going on.
Look, David, could I have
my personal life, please?
I mean, do I have
to tell you everything?
Sorry.
Hi.
Come on in the car.
So, you ready to rock
and stroll, Valerie?
I'm not getting out of the car.
Of course you are.
Look, this guy likes to, uh,
pick them up from the streets,
all right?
That's how he gets
his little rush.
Come on, here we go.
Come on. Aah...
Step lightly, me little lassie.
Uh...
Well, um,
you know what I want
you to do, right?
Forget it.
I am not gonna parade around
and shake my little moneymaker,
- okay?
- Oh, no, no, no.
Of course you're not.
I mean, these girls
are, uh, they're too obvious.
What, what this guy wants,
you know, is, uh,
some attitude, right?
So, you just kind of snuggle up
to the old Cadillac here,
show a little.
And you look like you are P.O.'d
at somebody, all right?
Great. I can do that.
Listen, Valerie,
I got your back all the
way on this, all right?
Now, with any kind of luck,
this white limo's
gonna be cruising by
within the hour.
Look, you know me,
I've done my homework.
Why? Because I'm
a total professional.
Wait, I have to get
in the car with him?
Yeah.
No way!
No! No way!
Valerie, Valerie,
no, no, no, listen,
listen, listen, okay?
The driver...
he's working with us.
He's gonna take you
to the Bel Ami Hotel,
because, uh, fun boy likes
to impress the trash.
Oh, thanks for the compliment.
At-at the hotel, I've got
a photographer placed there.
Catch him with his pants down.
Pop. Pop. Click. Click.
We fold up the tent
and on to our, uh,
meaningful lives.
All right, who is this guy?
Well, that's a secret, remember?
But, uh, I don't know,
we can call him the Duke.
And is there a "Duchess"?
Oh, yeah,
but she's hoping
to become an ex-Duchess.
Or should I say
a very rich ex-Duchess?
The, uh, photos are...
well, they're for her.
What, you're working
on a divorce case?
Yeah.
- How cheesy.
- Wha...
This guy's a creep.
He's a wife beater,
he deserves to be put away.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's going on?
What are you guys doing here?
Kelly, your man is our
deepest cover agent.
He's been working
for the cause all week.
He has?
It's no big deal.
I, uh, I oversaw the making
of a counterfeit Cornelius
J. Condor in the art lab.
That's about it.
- You're kidding.
- Mm-hmm.
That's a decoy sitting
in the Walsh Foyer.
Huh.
So, where's the real Corny?
Hmm, I have no idea.
Oh!
Hello?
Joe?
I thought you couldn't call.
Yeah, well, the guys are over
at the Coach's for a chalk talk.
Donna, why didn't you tell me
that you made the court?
You heard?
Yeah, I had to watch it on TV.
You looked so pretty,
so excited.
Yeah, I was.
Hey, don't worry about me.
All right, everything
works out for the best.
They do?
Yeah.
You just have to keep faith.
That's what my dad
always used to say,
and he made a believer
out of me.
I can't believe
how calm you are.
Anything more happen
with the police?
Yeah, uh, the city attorney
reviewed Ray's complaint
and pressed formal charges.
I'm really sorry.
No one's supposed to know
until Monday.
That's when I'm being arraigned.
Well, is there anything
- I can do?
- Yeah.
I'm sure my lawyer would love
to talk to you tomorrow.
Oh. Okay.
Sure, um... any time.
I just have to be
at the Tournament House
in the afternoon.
Just tell him to call me.
Okay, I will.
Uh, his name is Bruce Paxton.
Look, I'd better get going.
I'll talk to you soon.
And, uh...
I really miss you, Donna.
I miss you, too.
You know, I don't get it.
Is it too much to ask?
Can you at least stand up?
Jonesy, my feet are
killing me, okay?
Face it, the white
limo is not coming.
Well, you might be right.
I should probably pull the plug.
Terrific. Jonesy,
have a great life.
Sorry it didn't work out.
No, wait, wait.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
You gotta trust me here.
Now this guy is a...
he's a, he's a creature
of habit, all right?
I think we should get
one more night.
Besides, little girl,
you owe me.
Sanders, I know I agreed
to this little homecoming stunt,
but could you please
keep Muntz and company
from dropping chips
and beer nuts
all over
953 Hillcrest Drive, huh?
Hey, chill, man.
It'll all be over tonight.
You look like you
could use some fun.
Why don't you hang out
with us tonight?
No. I've got stuff to do at
McKay's and a column to write.
Just don't turn my house
into a frat sty.
He'll snap out of it.
Okay, well, thank you
for coming in.
Whatever I can do.
Well, you're
an eyewitness, Donna.
Your word carries
lots of weight.
You know, I, uh,
I was wondering
what could happen to Joe
if he's found guilty?
Well, the maximum penalty
is a $2,000 fine
and six months in jail.
Don't worry about that.
After hearing your side
of the story,
I think we have
a defense here;
Joe was protecting you.
But the thing is,
after Monday's arraignment,
the fact that you were abused
by your ex-boyfriend
is going to become
a matter of public record.
So, you ready for that?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I will be
as soon as I tell my parents.
Steve, anything?
Yes! Yes!
We have liftoff.
Shh, Valerie's still sleeping.
Not anymore.
She's up.
Sort of.
Sorry, Val.
No, you're not.
What am I, invisible?
Morning, David.
Hey, you want me to get you
some juice or something?
You look pretty wasted.
Oh, yeah, that would be great.
Thanks.
I guess I got in
pretty late, huh?
Yeah.
Well, I, I gave up calling
after 1:30.
So, how'd it go?
Listen, I don't want
to talk about it.
Just don't make a big deal
about it, okay?
Well, whatever it was,
I'm, uh, I'm glad it's over.
I'm gonna take you out tonight,
so I don't want any arguments.
David, I can't go out tonight.
This business isn't finished.
I gotta know.
Um...
Is there a... a guy involved?
Just tell me that.
Please, no questions, okay?
I mean, I'll be able
to tell you someday.
I just can't tell you right now.
So there is a guy involved.
Yes, but it's not
what you think.
What guy?
Are you gonna get me juice
or not?
Do I know him?
Why are you acting so jealous?
I'm not jealous, all right?
I'm just upset 'cause
you won't be honest with me.
You know what?
Forget about the juice.
Just forget about
the good mornings.
Just leave me the hell alone,
okay? I need a shower.
It's a nice outfit.
Who'd you wear this for?
David, look,
I have a headache, okay?
It's not like we're
married or something.
Just give me
a little space here.
I'll give you tons of space.
You're acting so childish.
I really hate that.
How else can I act?
It's not like I'm one
of the guys
who gets to be adult with you.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know how you keep telling me
to be patient
with this relationship?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I think
my patience just ran out.
Lisa.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Want to grab a bite to eat?
- Oh, I'd love to,
but I've got to get
straight to work.
I need to talk to my boss
about my schedule.
I didn't realize
there was gonna be
so many fittings next week.
Well, if you ever need
any help with anything,
just ask.
I warn you, I'm not shy.
Who's that?
That's Ray.
The Ray?
Yeah. I'll see you later.
No, no, no, I'm gonna
wait right here for you.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, Donna.
How'd you know I was here?
You could get the schedule for
the Royal Court just by calling.
Look, I'm really happy for you.
I kind of feel like
I've been there
since the beginning of all this.
How can you stand there
sweet-talking me
when you are making my life
and Joe's a living hell?
Look, I gave you fair warning,
and I'm gonna give you
a second chance.
- What are you talking about?
- My lawyer said
there's no case against Joe
if I don't testify.
So, what do you want me to do?
Dump Joe and come running
back to you?
Is that so bad?
We were happy, Donna.
No! No, we were living a lie.
And anything more between us
makes that a bigger lie.
Now go ahead with your charges.
The truth will come out.
Yeah, it will.
I'll see you in court.
Hi.
Hi.
I was driving by
and I saw your car.
What's in the bag?
Good eats.
In case we get hungry.
Just driving by, huh?
Okay.
I didn't think you should
have to do this alone.
Shouldn't you be off
guarding Cornelius J. Condor
or something?
Brandon, you're not
the only one who misses him.
Sorry.
It's just I've been,
I've been coming here all week
and checking his messages
and getting his mail and...
I don't think
he's ever coming back.
So, why do I bother?
Because you're his friend,
and you love him.
And that's not ever gonna
change for you or for me.
Well...
I'm glad you came.
Good. Do you want
some help or not?
Yes. Fine, I want some help.
Good.
Hey.
How you doing?
Okay, I'm gonna
call you, all right?
I will. I promise.
Valerie?
Where're you going?
Don't be going anywhere.
What's the matter with you?
Look, I'm going
to get some coffee.
The guy can wait.
Let's get something
clear, all right?
You have a chance to share
in a sizable bonus.
- So?
- "So"?
So don't forget
we are playing hardball.
Come on, batter up, girl.
You know, this is
all making me
a little too hard. I think
I lost my boyfriend today.
Yeah, well, that might
be for the best.
I mean, he's probably
one of these guys
who's just gonna fade
when the chips are down.
You know, I can't believe
I'm getting dating advice
from a guy that Dylan told me
travels with an inflatable doll.
See, right there, man.
Right there, right there.
Rumors, rumors, ru...
Wait a second.
Here we go.
Here we go. Come on.
Uh-uh. Shoo. Shoo, shoo.
I got just the ticket
for you tonight, sport.
I'm sorry. I'm just looking
for directions.
No, no. Listen to me closely.
I can get you
into paradise tonight.
Meet Heavenly.
Are you gonna leave
me standing here,
or can I come in?
Well, I'm not sure I understand.
Let me make this
real simple, okay?
$200 an hour and
she gets in your car.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Guaranteed.
Police officer.
Hold it right there.
- Put your hands on the car.
- Ahh...
What's going on?
We're cooked.
You're under arrest
for violation 647B
of the Penal Code of
the state of California.
You have the right
to remain silent.
If you choose
to give up that right,
everything you say can
and will be used against you
in a court of law.
Do you understand those rights?
Yes.
Come on.
Easy, easy,
easy!
Aw.
I hate you.
You asked for it.
Hi, Susan.
Come on in.
I am in.
- This probably looks
pretty strange. - Yeah.
Oh, please, don't, uh,
stop on my account.
Really, I just brought by
these brownies.
I thought you might
need a little sugar rush.
No, no, don't need that.
How are you at controlling
a, uh, killer plastic robot?
Oh, go ahead, really.
I don't need to play.
Oh, yes, you do,
because I am late
for a very important date,
and I guess we got
a little carried away here.
It's all my fault.
I never should've
given Dylan this
in the first place.
I can't believe he kept it.
Well,
I'm gonna leave while
I am still undefeated.
She lies.
Hey, Kel, thanks
for all your help.
I-I appreciate it.
You're welcome.
Looks like Kelly got
you out of your funk.
Yeah, well, she's a good friend.
I, uh, baked them myself.
Well, you know, I-I don't
really deserve one.
I haven't, uh,
written my column yet.
You know, I don't care.
I want to be a good friend, too.
Actually, I want to be a lot
more than a good friend.
Hello.
David.
Valerie? I'm sleeping.
Good-bye.
Don't hang up, okay.
You're my one call.
What?
Listen, just listen
to me very carefully.
I need you to bail me out.
You're in jail?
Can you get a thousand
dollars in cash?
What are you in jail for?
I'm in Central Detention
downtown.
I'll, uh, I'll tell you why
later.
No, no, no, tell me now.
What'd they arrest you for?
Prostitution.
What? You're serious?
It was all a mistake.
Please, just hurry, okay?
That's it, honey.
Everybody's waiting.
Here's your stuff, honey.
I'll get your walking papers.
Thank you.
Sure.
So, are you okay?
Yeah.
I guess I really
disappointed you.
I guess.
Listen, David,
I want to explain.
Not now.
You know, Val,
I can't help thinking...
You could've phoned anyone
with that one call. I mean...
Brandon, Steve, Nat...
But you called me.
Wasn't even close.
Why?
You're the only one
I can let see me like this.
I'm really embarrassed, David.
Don't be.
We'll handle it.
Oh... Val!
Well, here we are. I was just,
uh, getting to you.
Well, you're a little late.
Listen, I am so sorry,
putting you through what you
had to go through, but, uh...
Oh, Val, you gotta look at
the bright side of things, huh?
Well, I hope you
pulled some strings.
Strings?
I pulled the whole rope.
Now, uh, all the charges
have been dropped
and, uh, your record is clean.
- Who is this clown?
- Clown?
- Yeah.
- Why? Are you laughing?
David! David, listen. Wait.
This is Jay J. Jones.
- David?
- Yeah. Detective,
um... he's a friend of Dylan's.
And a friend of yours, Val.
So, uh... this is
the, uh, new boyfriend, huh?
I've heard all about you.
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I can't say the same.
Well, I'm sure our gal Val
will fill you in.
You see, kid, we were
on a mission last night,
fighting for the forces of good.
But unfortunately,
uh... we lost.
So I noticed.
What happened?
What happened?
Well, apparently
the Duke got wind
of our little sting
through a friend of his wife
and decided to sting us instead.
Well, it worked.
Yeah.
But I'm happy to report
that I got half
the money up front.
Of course, I'm sad to report
that little lady won't be
seeing any of the bonus.
Well, that's all right,
because I already
got my bonus...
a guy who doesn't fade.
Thanks for agreeing
to see me.
Make this quick.
We got a pregame meeting
over at the field.
Okay, I can make it quick.
Look, I just don't want you
or the other guys to be
mad at Joe because of me.
Yeah, sure.
No problem.
See ya.
Please.
I don't think you understand,
and...
I didn't understand
until yesterday.
Understand what?
I don't think Joe told you
the whole story about
what went down Halloween night.
We heard enough.
Look, the night
that Joe broke curfew,
he wasn't partying.
He was protecting me
from an abusive ex-boyfriend.
He was scared
that I was in danger...
and I was.
I'm sorry.
He really should've
said something.
Yeah, well, I think
he was more concerned
about my reputation
than anything else,
and I think that's
the same reason
why he's such a great leader
on the field.
'Cause he's more concerned
about everyone else
than himself. So...
You'll have to forgive her guys.
I think she's laying it
on a little thick.
I don't think so.
A.K.,
you're team captain.
Am I exaggerating about Joe?
No.
I think she's dead on.
All right, Condors!
Okay...
Okay, well, it's game day.
Right on.
The big question
on everybody's lips other than
are we gonna win is...
- Where's Corny?!
- Where's Corny?!
Yeah!
Where's Corny?
Exactly.
So if you'll take a look
at the big screen behind me,
you'll find out.
Not exactly. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
In case you may have heard
that Corny was being paraded
around the S.C.U. campus,
well...
...it's not true.
It's not true.
The real Corny is right here!
All right, let's give it up
for my Condor Commandos!
We've got Clare Arnold.
Stand up, Clare.
We have Kelly Taylor.
We have Assistant
Professor Colin Robbins
and a host of others who didn't
do enough to get singled out.
And Madman Muntz.
Go!
Condors!
- Go!
- Condors!
- Condors!
- Go!
- Go!
- Condors!
All right!
What a catch!
What a start to this
important Pac-10 game.
That 42-yard reception
leaves the Bears
within breathing room
of another touchdown.
It's been four minutes
of football
that the Condor fans
would rather forget,
The whole team is definitely
looking for a wake-up call
that has not come.
And here go the Bears,
first and goal.
The snap...
Kreuscher drifts back to pass.
Look out, there's the Condor's
number 55, A.K. Carson,
bearing down on him.
Kreuscher is sacked!
What a hit.
You got your column?
Yeah, you gave it to me
a couple of days ago.
Really?
What's your lead?
"Friendship sucks."
You're writing about Dylan,
aren't you?
Yeah.
Save a copy for him.
You never know.
Coach Lyons is sending in a play
from the sidelines.
And here we go.
That's fourth and seven.
The Condors are forced to punt.
There's a snap.
The kick's away...
It looks good.
Bears take it
at their own 32.
The Condors have to consider
themselves lucky,
That's the truth.
The whole team looks
lost without Bradley.
The Condor fans
with that Joe Bradley...
Can we, uh, turn off
the game for a second?
There's something I need
to tell you and Mom.
Yeah, sure.
It's about why Joe isn't
playing in the game today,
but more than that,
it's about me and Ray.
I thought I could
avoid telling you guys,
but I have to.
It's kind of like how you had
to tell me your secret, Mom.
Okay, what is it, sweetheart?
Mom... Dad...
this is really hard for me.
There was something
really terrible going on
between me and Ray.
He was hurting me.
What?
You mean, physically?
Yeah.
Oh, Donna.
Look, if you don't mind,
I don't really want to get
into the details.
It's just kind of humiliating.
I just wanted you guys
to know that I'm okay.
Palm Springs.
You didn't fall down
those stairs, did you?
No.
Here I was going on about
how much he loved you.
We couldn't understand
why the two of you
weren't together anymore.
He seemed like such a good kid
all summer long on the boat.
I never would have guessed.
Well, it didn't happen
all the time,
but when it did,
it was kind of bad.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, Mom.
I'm sorry.
Anyway I just...
I wanted you guys to know
why Joe wasn't playing today.
It's because he protected me
when Ray tried to do this again.
And now he might
go to jail for it.
Oh, no,
we're not gonna let that happen.
Donna, we're gonna do
everything we can.
We're gonna stand behind
you and Joe all the way.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Sweetheart,
I don't want you ever to feel
afraid to tell me anything.
Same goes for you, Mom.
Oh, you.
Nat, I need two mega burgers
and an order of fried zucchini.
Done. Oh, spread the word...
in honor of the 35 points
that the Condors scored
in the second half,
I'm taking 35% off
of everything on the menu.
Nat, what's gotten into you?
I can remember a time,
and it wasn't so long ago,
that everything would be
on the house.
Hey, if I did that
for every C.U. victory
this season, I'd
be out of business.
This team's going
to the Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl...!
Rose Bowl's a definite
possibility now.
That was a huge win.
I knew those guys
could pull it off.
Yeah, the team wouldn't quit.
Quit? Are you kidding?
They smoked those Bears.
Maybe they play
better with Mac as quarterback.
Well, I wouldn't worry.
I think it's just like
your father says,
things always work out
for the best.
Yeah, well, I hope that
applies to the case, too.
I'm so exhausted,
I need a vacation.
Well, Thanksgiving will
take care of that.
Oh, no, no, no, there'll be no
rest for Steve on Thanksgiving.
We're having dinner
at Casa Walsh.
So, book early, kids.
Count me in.
How about you, Colin?
You up for a little
left-coast feast?
I meant to tell you,
I'm going back
to New York for the holiday.
You are? Well, you're no fun.
You should tell that to Susan.
She's going to New York, too.
Okay, go Big Apple on us.
I think we can get
along without them.
Do you think we can?
I think we can.
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl! Rose Bowl!
Rose Bowl, Rose Bowl...!
You know, you haven't
asked me a single question
about what happened.
I uh, don't really
care anymore.
You're the only one
who believes in me.
And I always will.