Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 5, Episode 8 - Things That Go Bang in the Night - full transcript

Can you tape that box for me?

I'm not going to help you.

You know, I don't get you.

I really don't.

Valerie, you're being
way too hard on yourself.

Nobody wants you to
move back to Buffalo.

Oh, yeah?

Talk to Steve.

Steve's still got one good hand.

Dylan's still got a face.

They'll get over it.



And what about your parents?

One thing about
Jim and Cindy is,

no matter how bad you screw up,

you always get a second chance.

Don't tell them I
told you this, but...

you also get a third,
fourth and fifth, too.

Well, the way I'm going,
even that wouldn't be enough.

You'll never know if you bail.

Brandon, I can't stay here.

I mean, everywhere I look,
there's someone who hates me.

And I think you're exaggerating.

Call it what you want.

It's time to cut my losses.

Don't worry about anything.



I understand.

He understands, too.

Abby, please.

Yes, I'll tell her for you.

Okay, Abby.

Bye-bye.

This is a lot more
than we agreed to

when we said we'd
let her stay here.

Jim, did you honestly think

all she'd need was
a roof over her head?

Well, don't pretend
you saw this coming.

Saw what coming?

Well, there's been
a problem in Buffalo.

Your mother's thinking
of checking herself

into a clinic for a few days.

And she didn't
want to talk to me?

Valerie, she's been
through a tough time.

I can't believe she's
flipping out now!

I mean, who's going to
take care of Curt and Susie?

They're already settled
in with a neighbor.

I have the number; you can
call them later if you want.

So I'm just supposed to
stay here and let her go

crazy by herself?

Valerie, she's going to be okay.

But she needs you to stay
in Los Angeles right now.

I can't.

Didn't you tell her
what happened?

Valerie...

Look, I just can't stay here.

I mean it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I've been dumped and pushed ♪

♪ Don't beat around the bush ♪

♪ This time say
what's on my mind ♪

♪ So don't take offense ♪

♪ Don't mean to get you bent ♪

♪ I'm not one for wasting time ♪

♪ So I spit it out... ♪

Hey, is this thing big enough?

Yeah, try lifting it and
you'd know it's big enough.

No, really.

How many kids are we
having here tomorrow?

If I didn't know the real story,

I'd swear you were faking

this injury just so you
can get out of work.

Look, I'm working
here, all right?

I'm keeping this Halloween
vision alive, all right?

So... this is what you've
been doing the last few days.

You weren't just avoiding me.

I wasn't avoiding you.

So you're okay?

Yeah. I told you,

I'm fine about last
weekend at Catalina.

And you've really forgiven me

for trying to make
it a sleepover?

I mean it, we're fine.

And you're terrific.

How come I'm not convinced?

All right.

That's it.

I'm implementing a no
make-out rule at our party,

especially for those of
us who are romantically

disadvantaged like myself.

That includes you
and Brandon, Kelly.

Well, you don't have
to worry about Brandon,

'cause I just called him
and he's not coming today.

He's not?

No, he wanted
to, it's just that...

Valerie isn't leaving after all.

You think she'd reconsider
if I bought her ticket?

I'd pitch in for first class

if it would get her out of
that house with Brandon.

Yeah, the KEG curse on anyone

who tries to string
along two guys

just so she can knife
one of them in the back.

Well, I'm sure she
didn't plan it that way.

Of course she did.

What else did she
think could happen?

That's the pumpkin guy.

Wait, I thought Muntz was
picking up the pumpkins?

Yeah, Muntz
called for directions,

and the pumpkin dude
said he could deliver 'em.

Lucky break, huh?

Hmm.

Okay, let's go slackers!

It's pumpkin time.

Oh, my God, what
am I going to do?

Donna, they were bound to run
into each other sooner or later.

Oh!

You could start running now.

Great, thanks.

Hey.

Hey.

So, who's this?

This is my cousin Tommy.

Hi.

Hi.

Sorority sisters
wouldn't approve, huh?

Well, I just haven't
told them about us yet.

Hey, Tommy, why
don't you hop down

and start unloading
these pumpkins, huh?

All right.

So, uh, what did you mean
about that sorority sisters thing?

Oh, I don't know.

You didn't exactly introduce
me to all your friends

that night at the Peach Pit.

I know they're
all college types.

Everyone, this is Ray!

And this here is
his cousin Tommy.

So, Tommy,

how old are you? About 35?

Almost nine.

Yeah? Well, we're having a party

here tomorrow for people
that are almost nine.

You want to come?

Can I?

Hey, he's the man.

If he invites you,
you'd better be there.

All right, cool!

Hey, thanks, man.

You're about the first
guy on campus that's ever

gotten off his
pedestal and said hello.

Hey, liberté,
egalité, fraternité.

Next time they tell you
KEG is a bunch of elitist stiffs,

you'll set them straight, eh?

Yeah.

Whatever.

I was up all night thinking,

and I have an aunt in Tucson

who might let me live with her.

Valerie, you're not
going anywhere.

Cindy, I heard you
when my mom called.

You don't have to pretend
you want me to stay.

All right, all right.

I won't lie to you.

When your mother said she was
incapable of taking care of you,

it definitely threw
us for a loop.

But we're not going
to cut you loose.

We've known your parents
since before you were born.

And in this family, when we have

a problem, we work it out.

Right, Brandon?

I tried to tell you yesterday.

The fact is, I should
have warned you

more clearly about Dylan McKay.

There was a long history

before you even got
here, and Dylan's always

been very... complex.

I think it's time that we
all acknowledge what

Dylan McKay has become and...

stay away.

Oh, I told Andrea
she could stop by

and borrow Brenda's
old bunny suit for Hannah.

I'll get it. Where's it at?

Oh, it's right by the door.

I know you guys are all
putting yourselves out.

I'll do my part.

I know you will.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I just wish I could
start with a clean slate.

You have that here.

That's what we're saying.

Cindy, come here!

You gotta see this.

Oh, does this bring
back memories or what?

Aw, come here, honey.

Aw, yes!

I just can't wait till we
have one of our own.

If they make rabbit
suits in adult sizes,

I'll get one for each of you.

Very funny, Brandon.

What do you think she even
makes of Halloween, anyway?

Oh, at this age,
about all that registers

is if Mom and Dad are nearby.

Could you repeat that, please?

I'm trying to
convince Andrea here

that Hannah will not
be permanently scarred

by celebrating Day of
the Dead with my family

tomorrow night.
"Day of the Dead"?

I know, it sounds morbid,

but it's this really great,

old Mexican tradition. It's part

harvest festival,
part Aztec ritual

with a little bit of
Catholicism thrown in.

Something for everyone, huh?

The bottom line is, you sit

in a cemetery on a
grave all night long.

Wait a second,
wait just one second.

I sat through Yom
Kippur, and I'm telling you,

it wasn't exactly
a barrel of laughs.

Anybody got

a clean diaper?

Oh, I do. Right here.

Yeah, I'll come with you.

I don't know about
sitting on a grave,

but I'm all for
remembering your heritage.

Yeah, well, me too, Bran,
but I've got to tell you,

if my Hasidic grandfather
from Minsk knew that Hannah

was going to be sitting
in a cemetery all night

for a part-Aztec,
part-Catholic harvest ritual,

he'd die all over again.

Nat, this Peach Pit After Dark

is a no-brainer.
You saw what I saw;

the money was just rolling in.

Yeah, but that's when Steve
was running the business.

Look, Steve is so replaceable.

Can I tell you, we can just get
somebody else to do that job?

Sure, your friends,
your partners,

everyone... They're
all replaceable.

I didn't say that.

No, you just said Steve.

The man who thought of the idea,

got his friends
to put it together,

the guy that made it a success.

I get the picture.

Do you?

Is any of this real
to you, Dylan?

I don't even know if I'm
getting through to you any more.

Is it real to me?!

Hey, I'm the one that took
out a mortgage on my house!

If this thing doesn't work, I'm
on the street in two months.

That's how real this is to me.

The theatre down
the street just got out.

We'll talk about this tomorrow.

All right, I'll be here
first thing in the morning.

First thing in the morning
is our busiest time.

You would know that
if you had ever really

taken an interest in this place.

So when is good?

4:00 in the afternoon.

Fine, I'll be here at 4:00.

Four!

Okay, some of the
more recent sightings

are pretty questionable,

but that doesn't change
the near certainty

that some of these close
encounters have to be real.

Here's one well-documented
hot spot not too far away.

It's in the desert,
just east of Barstow.

It's been a magnet all
year for people who want

to find out for themselves
what this UFO thing...

If I had known you were
inviting me to a UFO lecture,

I would have
shown up even later.

Shh, I want to hear this.

The evidence is
starting to pile up.

There have been
hundreds of sightings,

and several people
report being abducted

for what they describe
as breeding experiments.

Sex with aliens? Hmm.

Might be worth
taking a little drive

out to the desert,
don't you think?

Or we could just
go to the movies.

Come on, we'll grab a camcorder

and go looking
for little green men.

Martian bait... Who
could say no to that?

So what do we have here?

Is it unidentified? Does it fly?

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Hey, bro.

Need a hand?

No, thanks, got one.

Could've used yours
about eight hours ago.

Well, I can't travel
back through time,

but I'd do that
for you if I could.

You know that, don't you?

Don't get cute with me, Walsh.

I know you're fraternizing
with the enemy.

Well, if it's any consolation,

you're doing better than she is.

Oh, yeah, how do you know?

I fell for her, she
broke my heart.

And don't even get me started

about my good
buddy, Dylan McKay.

You'll get no argument
from me there, man.

Total write-off.

Valerie's no saint either.

I know, and I'm not saying
forget what happened, but...

But what?

Steve, she was wrong,

no doubt about it,

but Valerie really feels
like everyone hates her.

I wonder what she did
to deserve that, huh?

Yeah, please.

Look.

She'd freak if she knew
I was telling you this,

but... her mom checked
herself into a mental ward.

That's why she's not
going back to Buffalo.

You're kidding.

No.

Her father killed himself.

Her mom's lost it.

She's got no one, man;
can't you give her a break?

If you give her another
chance, everybody will.

Come on, bro.

"Come on, bro"?

Is that the best argument

you can come up
with, "Come on, bro"?

Have her come by the
KEG party tomorrow.

You're doing a
good thing here, man.

I may forgive
Valerie, I may not,

but don't ever ask me
to forgive Dylan McKay.

Like I said, you'll get no
argument from me there.

No, sir, no, please, I... I
appreciate you calling me

at my home at 11:00 p.m.

Yes, your... your
diligence is commendable.

However... my computer
records, I have right in front of me,

and they show that I wrote
your company a check,

number 150...

at 2:00 p.m...

Hold on.

You two are the first
human beings I've ever met

who actually like
strawberry ice cream.

Yeah, well, it's not for us.

The aliens like it.

I said, "reportedly", okay?

They reportedly like it.

Wait a second, what aliens?

The aliens that have been

abducting people in the
desert outside of Barstow.

Are you serious about this?

David, I saw that,
all right, and if you

don't want to go, I'm just
gonna go by myself, okay?

To Barstow?

Do you know how
hot it gets there?

Well, luckily I've got lots of
ice cream and dry ice, so...

Donna, do you know
where these two are off to?

Strawberry ice cream.

Hmm. Somewhere with aliens?

Relax. Clare told me
when I got back last night.

Yeah, I caught her

sneaking in at, like,
3:00 in the morning.

Well, I think that's my cue
to start loading up the truck.

Well, Ray and I went
to some blues club,

and the next thing
I knew, it was late.

So that's where you two
snuck off to all of a sudden.

Why? Was it that obvious?

You think Griffin noticed?

No, I don't think so.

But would you tell him already?

I'm dying waiting
for the ax to fall.

Maybe I should go
to the desert with you

and get myself abducted.

And miss a party where
two guys are after you?

Where are your priorities?

Hmm...

Here you go, come on.

You're crazy. You know that?

Okay... go!

26, 27, 28, 29...

time! Yeah!

And the winner,

with a new record
of eight apples

in 30 seconds, Tommy!

Hey!

Now you got to eat
all those. Just kidding.

This is cool. How do
you get into a fraternity?

Well, you gotta go to college

is how you get in, so do
your homework, all right?

Hey, uh, have you
seen Donna around?

Uh, mystery to me.
Um... if she shows up,

I'll tell her you're
looking for her.

Thanks, man.

All right, man, you won.

You know, I haven't
seen Brandon.

Are you sure he's not
hiding underneath there?

Ugh! This is going
to be a lot harder

than I thought.

Just file it under "the things
we do for Brandon Walsh."

Ready?

Hi, Valerie.

Hi, Kel.

So, how's the hand?

It's already decorated
for Halloween. Hmm.

Well, I-I brought
this for the kids.

Wow. It must have taken
hours to make this, huh?

Just about.

Let's put it on the
table. Okay. Thanks.

Well, it looks like
you've already done

your good deed for the day.

So now it's time
for you to do yours.

Oh, boy!

Come over here and
I'll grant you a wish.

Hi.

The party's outside.

What are you doing in here?

I just can't juggle them.

I'm afraid to ask.

Griffin and Ray.

You're playing two guys
against each other, too?

♪ Did you ever think,
when a hearse went by ♪

♪ That you would
be the next to die? ♪

♪ They take you out
to the family plot ♪

♪ There you wither,
decay and rot ♪

♪ The worms crawl in
and the worms crawl out ♪

♪ Up your stomach
and out your snout ♪

♪ The worms crawl in
and the worms crawl out ♪

♪ The worms play
pinochle on your snout ♪

♪ They wrap you in
a clean white sheet ♪

♪ And bury you
under six feet deep ♪

Takes you back to
third grade, doesn't it?

Actually, it kind of
reminds me how morbid

Halloween really is.

But you think she's
gonna last the night

in a cemetery? Aw, it's okay.

You know, honey, if you want me

to take her by
myself, I will, all right?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Did we miss something?

Family feud.

Kind of minor compared to
what I'm going through, though.

♪ They put you in a wooden box ♪

I'm sorry to hear
about your mom.

Uh, Is there anything I can do?

No. You've gone way
beyond the call of duty.

♪ The worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out ♪

You know, there's a
party here tonight, Valerie.

You have a costume?

I could probably
fix something up.

You sure you want me to come?

♪ Your eyes fall in,
your teeth fall out... ♪

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

But make sure it's in
green, so we match.

You know what I'm saying?

♪ Up your stomach
and out your snout ♪

♪ The worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out ♪

Pumpkin boy can wail.

And Donna, break out
your chewin' tobaccy.

I think he likes you.

♪ And then you
turn a slimy green ♪

♪ And pus comes out
like fresh whipped cream ♪

♪ And me without my spoon. ♪

♪ The worms crawl in
and the worms crawl out ♪

♪ Up your stomach
and out your snout ♪

♪ The worms crawl in
and the worms crawl out ♪

♪ The worms play
pinochle on your snout. ♪

Come on, Tommy, let's go.

Ray!

Ray, it's not
what it looked like.

Sure, he's probably
your brother, huh?

Get in the truck, Tommy.

I told you I sort
of had a boyfriend.

Yeah, and I sort of thought
we were way beyond that.

Wait, please don't leave.

At least let me explain.

Okay, tonight. I'll pick you up.

Ray, I have a party
here I can't get out of.

Okay, fine, tonight.

Donna, forget it.

You got your friends.

Go on back to them

and have a good time.

Oh, you know, man, some days
the gods, they just aren't with you.

Luckily the presidents are.

Okay, I'm giving
odds here, anybody?

Anybody want some of this?

Give them a break, McKay.

You've been on a roll
for three hours, man.

Well...

I was supposed to
meet my partner at 4:00.

Yeah, well, you're raking
in some dough here.

I'm sure he won't mind.

Yeah, but somehow I don't think

it's gonna be that easy.

But what can I tell you,
you know? I'm a victim.

All I need is a cue stick...
nine perfect spheres,

2.7 yards of green felt, no
partners, no human element,

no women making
unreasonable demands on me.

Just me and a few
simple laws of geometry.

Yeah, and a growing
pile of twenties.

Mm. Icing on the cake.

It's the best high in the world.

Oh, believe me,

it's not the best
high in the world.

Well, this must be the
place everyone talks about.

Yeah, I guess so.

I just wouldn't order
anything with mayonnaise on it

unless you're looking
for a close encounter

of the food poisoning kind.

David, just behave, okay?

These people hold the keys
to the best sighting areas.

This place is giving
me the creeps.

Shh! Come on. Let's go sit down.

Hi. Is this okay here?

All right.

Howdy.

So you guys get a
lot of kids in here?

Nope, not kids.

They're small.

He means aliens.

Wait a second.

Are you telling me you
get aliens in this place?

Not a lot.

Some.

Look, we really want
to see some UFOs.

Could you tell us the best
spot where we could do that?

You want to see mine?

You have a spaceship?

Got a nice video of it, too.

Only $39.95.

So where do you and
your spaceship come from?

David, don't.

All right? What?

It's no secret, ma'am.

I'm from Xarga Patonia.

I could sell you a
set of maps if you like.

What, are you
getting the camera?

Clare.

Sorry, excuse us for a second.

Clare, Clare.

What's wrong?

These people are hilarious.

These people are
crackpots, all right?

They're making a total
mockery of the whole thing.

That's fine, talk it over.

When you decide, come on back.

Plus, they're
making money on it.

You know, it's disgusting.

Oh, come on. Like you really
believe in all this UFO stuff.

You're kidding me.

Oh, hey!

We've got this pair of
handcrafted Xarga Patonia mugs.

You might like these.

Hey! Trick or treat, man!

Come on! Open up!

Guys, guys, you're
going to break the glass.

I can see the guy in there.
He won't open the door.

Dylan!

Come on! Open up!

Dylan, it's me!

What?

I was, uh... on my way

over to the fraternity party,

but something came over me.

You didn't bring your bodyguard
Sanders with you, did you?

'Cause I'm not up
for that right now.

No. It's just me and
Jesse James over here.

He needs a trick or treat.

Bullets on the coffee table,
Scotch in the cupboard.

Is that single malt Scotch?

Um... here.

Great. What am I going
to do with five bucks, man?

Share that!

What, five bucks? Come on.

Every kid within a hundred miles

of this place is
going to be here.

Happy Halloween to you, too.

On my way over, I was wondering
if you'd be glad to see me.

Oh, what, are you
kidding? You look good.

Mm, you look real good.

Oh. What is it? Laces?

I thought those were
obsolete by now.

I thought we'd be moving into

Velcro body pads or something.

Dylan, are you on something?

Mm-hmm. I'm going to be
all over you in just a minute.

I got a booster
at the pool hall.

You want some?

No. I've got to go
to the fraternity party.

I've got to be on
my best behavior.

Well, then you definitely
came to the wrong place,

because I had the
most amazing day.

Look at that.

Look, look, look.

Dylan, what are
those bullets for?

Oh, those are for the gun.

What is the gun for?

It kind of goes
with the bullets.

Dylan, you've got to
get rid of that thing.

Hey, Val, lighten up.
I'm just cleaning it. Look.

Dylan, my father
killed himself that way.

Well, I'm real
sorry to hear that,

but I don't need you
coming over here

and telling me all
this depressing stuff!

It's the first good day
I've had in two months!

Dylan, please, just
get rid of it, okay?

Why don't you just do
us both a big favor, huh?

Skip on off to the frat party.

The way this day is going,

we're probably camping on
the wrong side of Barstow.

Yeah, well, no aliens means
more strawberry ice cream for us.

You want some?

No.

This experiment's a total loss.

Well, you know what?

If you really think that,

we can always pack
up and head home.

No. It's just so maddening.

I know there's got to
be a mother ship or two

floating around up there.

Do you really believe that?

Come on, David.

Ask nine out of ten people

whether or not they think
we're alone in the universe,

and they'll say,
"No. Of course not."

And then tell the same
people you believe in UFOs,

and it's, like..."We have some
wonderful new treatments, dear."

Yeah, well, I think you'd
look beautiful in a straitjacket.

David.

What?

Just... don't, okay?

Ah! This is so beautiful.

Jesse told me it was
beautiful. I didn't believe him.

Well, I guess it's
just something

you gotta see for
yourself. Right, Ma?

Dodger Dogs?

Well, you know, my father was

the world's biggest Dodger fan.

Boy, that's the truth.

I was so afraid he
was going to disown me

after my own pitching career
ended with Little League.

No.

Luis loved this boy.

No, no.

He liked me, Ma.

He loved Fernando Valenzuela.

Hey, Aunt Celia, Uncle
Mario. ¿Como esta?

You remember Andrea, don't you?

Hi, Uncle Mario, Aunt
Celia. This is Hannah.

Oh! Jesse, you were right.

She's a beautiful little girl.

Yes.

You like this, do you?

Well, this is for your
first communion, huh?

Precious.

So what do you think a
UFO would look like anyway?

I don't know.

It could be a flash of
light across the sky,

something hovering
near the surface,

or a string of lights in
the middle of nowhere.

You mean something like that?

Hmm?

There.

Oh, my God! That's it!

Come on!

Wait. You want me
to get the camera?

Yes! And the ice cream, too!

Come on! Hurry up!

I am hurrying.

Oh, God! Oh, God! I
can feel it. This is it!

What are we going
to say to them?

I mean, what if
they don't like us?

What if we don't like them?

Here. Give me that.

This is Clare Arnold,
homo sapiens,

in the desert near Barstow

preparing for
close contact with...

Is "aliens" an insulting term?

I'm sure it's not what
they call themselves, right?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! It's
a satellite dish.

Oh...

You know, this really
isn't a good place

to have a nervous breakdown.

There's scorpions
and snakes and things.

I'm such an idiot.

You could tell me
I'm not, you know.

Yeah, well, I... I
feel like one, too.

Well, I guess that's a start.

Mm, your hands are all sticky.

I like that in a man, you know.

No, no. That's
baloney, all right?

It doesn't take two hours
to get here from your house.

I know exactly where
she is. She's with McKay.

I got to go!

I called Ray's mom.

I even went to the
pumpkin place after he left.

No one's seen him.

At least that's what they said.

You've really fallen
for this guy, huh?

I just wish it hadn't ended
with him storming off like that.

What about Griffin?

Well, our relationship's kind of
hit the point where, you know...

Sex.

Right.

Well, if he's not willing

to accept the fact that
you want to stay a virgin,

then you've got a big problem.

Yeah, well, I haven't
exactly told him.

Not even after last weekend?

It's not that easy, you know.

Donna, you're
stringing this guy along.

You've got to tell him.

Fine, but just not now, okay?

Will you just stick
here with me, please?

I'm sorry. I can't.

I'm getting up early to go
to a swap meet with Jackie.

Someone else is going to have

to hold your hand on this one.

Great.

Man, they should have
outlawed that Valerie chick

when they banned
assault weapons.

Her not showing up pushed
Sanders right over the edge.

She should have been honest
with him from the beginning.

I got to go.

See ya.

What was that about?

Well, Kelly thinks I need to
talk to you about a few things.

Kelly thinks?

Well, I guess I do, too.

About why we're
not sleeping together.

Who is he, Donna?

What?

No. It... it's not another guy.

So you're not
seeing anyone else?

Look, you're not

Valerie what's-her-name,
and I'm not Steve Sanders,

so just tell me the
truth. Who is he?

Well, I went out with Ray
Pruit a couple of times...

We're talking about
Mr. Pumpkin Head?

You know what,
Griffin? Go to hell!

When you tell your mother
that I wasn't good enough,

be sure to tell her that

you're getting it on
with the delivery boy!

What's he do? Throw you
down in the back of his pickup?

What makes you think
you can talk to me that way?

Because you're a pathological
tease who sluts around and...

Oh, that really put
me in my place.

I can't believe I put up
with you as long as I did.

Please, just drive.

That's right.

Just tiptoe in, and
everything will be fine.

I tried to go to the
KEG party, Brandon.

I... I really did.

But the car had a
mind of its own. Right?

Let me guess.

It drove you right
over to Dylan's house.

Okay, so I'm a
huge disappointment.

Spare me the
self-pity, will you?

I had to beg everyone to
give you a second chance.

Well, maybe you shouldn't have.

You know, I can't go
to these frat parties

knowing Dylan is
going down and down

and I'm the only
one there for him.

That's his choice.

How can you just
turn your back on him?

I mean, you're willing to let me

start over 20
times if I have to.

What did Dylan do
that's so horrible,

you have to shut him out?

He knows if he wants help,

all he has to do
is say the word.

But he is.

I mean, what kind of hitting
bottom are you waiting for?

He's over there
drugged out of his mind.

He's taking drugs now?

Yeah.

Hard stuff.

You know, it's like my
father all over again.

Sitting around the
house completely wasted,

cleaning his gun.

What gun? You know what gun.

He said he nearly shot
you with it last year.

He told me he got rid of it.

Well, obviously, he lied.

It's not the first time.

How was he when you left him?

I stayed with him until he
more or less passed out.

Can I come?

No.

Thanks for bringing me here.

It feels like Griffin
and that whole mess

are a thousand miles away.

Well, when I was growing up,

and things would get
too crazy at home...

Which was just
about every day...

I would grab my guitar
and I'd come up here.

And when I saw you whap
that guy across the face tonight,

I thought, here's someone who
could use a change of scenery.

I don't know what came over me.

You're not usually
a power hitter, huh?

No.

Good. Just checking.

You know, a guy's got to
know what he's getting into.

What is it?

There's no sorority
sisters around this time.

This is... really hard to say,

but I need you to know.

Oh, God...

this is really hard to say.

Well, we got all the
time in the world.

I want you to hear something
I've been working on.

Ray, we can't have sex.

Yeah?

Look, I don't have a
disease or anything.

I'm just not gonna sleep with
anyone till after I'm married.

So if you want to bail out or...

or just be friends
or whatever...

I don't know, it's up to you.

I mean, if it's too weird.

Well, it's kind of weird, but...

Yeah.

That's why I wanted you to know.

Look, Donna, I came back tonight

because all that mattered
was seeing you again,

and that's still
all that matters.

Hey!

Hey, man!

Look, save it.

Look, his girlfriend's the one
that gave us the money anyway,

and she hit the road.

You guys... take these.

You can head off that way.

Me and you go
around back, cowboy.

Hey, get the hell out of here!

I said get!

He's got a gun! Run, man!

Yeah, keep running!

What are you laughing at?

Now...

I hope we can get some sleep
before she wakes up again.

You think your
parents were offended

that we didn't stay longer?

Nah. Are you kidding?

Listen, it meant a lot to them

that we came with Hannah.

Yeah, well, it did to me, too.

That's why...

Jesse, I'd...

I don't want to say
this the wrong way.

Why? What is it?

I think it's important
that Hannah grows up

feeling connected to your
family and your heritage...

And, I mean that,
I really do... but...

Jesse, she's Jewish.

Oh, geez.

I thought we went over all this.

Well, so did I, but...

Look, I don't mind seeing this
hanging in a store window...

I don't... but on
our daughter...

Jesse, you have to understand

this isn't just a piece
of jewelry to me.

I know. I mean, it's not just a
piece of jewelry to me, either.

I've been thinking
about this all evening.

You can't be
Jewish and Catholic.

But Hannah is.

But what does that mean?

Look...

I know we're not the first
people to wonder about this,

but we'll find out, won't we?

The three of us.

Just maybe not tonight.

Well, when?

You know, if we
did find Martians,

I don't think I could've
shared you with them.

You know, I think
that's the nicest thing

anyone's ever said to me.

Really?

Mm-mm.

Um...

Just so I can... plan my night,

do you have...?

Yeah,

I've got about, uh...

200 of these left
from high school.

Well, that should get
us through the night.

I mean, I'm glad we're here.

I didn't want our
first time to be...

getting drunk at some frat party

and then waking up
together in the morning.

What?

I don't know, I just
thought I felt something.

That would be me.

And I think I deserve
your undivided attention.

Dylan?

Dylan? Come on, man.

Come on. Dylan.

Hey. Come on, wake up.

Wake up. Hey, hey,
hey, hey, come on.

Come on, let's walk
around a little bit here, huh?

I'm fine!

What, you think I
OD'd? I was asleep.

You must be a heavy sleeper...

It took me two
minutes to wake you up.

I was very tired.

Big day shooting up the house?

What house? This isn't my house.

I don't got a house.

Where's my gun?

Look,

Dylan, I know Kevin and
Suzanne ripped you off, man,

but you got to get over it.

Yeah, I'll get over it
first thing in the morning.

All right, fine, then,
don't get over it,

but do something besides
just getting wasted every day.

I mean, what are
you saying, man,

that there was never anything
more to you than money?

Don't, don't come over
here after two months

and start analyzing me!

What do you know?

How do you get so wise
to come over here, man?

Y-You live at home.

You live the most coddled
existence of anybody that

I know of, and yet you'll
come in here and tell me

that you have some idea
as to what I'm going through?

Man, you have no idea!

Don't turn this around,
man... This ain't about me.

No, it ain't never about you,

is it, Brandon?

Brenda's got guts, man.

She had the guts...
She moved away

to another continent
just to get away from you.

Dylan, at this point in time,

I'm about the only
friend you've got...

Are you sure you
want to do this?

May the bridges I
burn light the way.

Okay.

Don't take my gun.

If you walk out of here with it,

I'll call the cops myself.

Go ahead... my license
number's 3E5503.

You want me to write it down?

Just get out.

Get out!