Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 5, Episode 25 - Double Jeopardy - full transcript

State Capitals for $200.

''ln 1860, this state capital

became the western terminus
of the Pony Express.''

l know this one.
l know this one.

What is Sacramento.

No, no, no, that's not it.

Eric?

-What is Sacramento?
-Yes.

State Capitals for $300.

''South Dakota's...''

How'd you know that?



He's always been like this.

And Brenda, too.

Their father,
on the other hand...

Hey, hey, don't rub it in.

Answer:

You can get this one, Dad.

Who's Orlando Magic?

Good job.

Anyone?

The correct response is,
What is the Orlando Magic?

You are amazing.

You know, Kelly, if your friend
was really so smart,

he'd get himself down
to Culver City and try

and get on the Jeopardy!
College Championship



they've been
talking about all week.

He should.

Well, l am.

You are?

You're going to be
on College Jeopardy!?

Well, first,
l have to be picked,

but they gave me a time
to try out, so that's a start.

That's so exciting.

Yeah, it should be fun.

Although,
it's still a long shot.

l don't think
it's such a long shot.

l don't think it is, either.

After all,
you're a great player.

You also happen to be
the Student Body President

of California University.

A very handsome student
body president, l might add.

Mom, l don't think they care
which way l comb my hair.

Trust me,
looks counts for something.

And if it doesn't, it should.

Did you know Alex Trebek is one

of the best-dressed men
in Hollywood?

l think l'm going to try out

for Wheel of Fortune instead.

Hey, where are you going?

They haven't even done
Final Jeopardy! yet.

l'm gonna go call Zuckerman.

We sent our postcards in
at the same time.

l want to see
if they called her, too.

Brandon and Andrea
have been talking

about being on Jeopardy!
since they were in high school.

Neat.

Excuse me, but l have
to go talk to Brandon.

What are you doing?

Uh, this isn't a very good time
to talk to Andrea about this.

Okay.

Why not?

l can't say.

l promised.

Kelly,

when one half of a couple
promises not to tell,

it is assumed
that the other half

of the couple is exempt
from said promise.

All right. She had an affair.

-Andrea had an affair?
-Yeah.

She says it's over,
but the damage is done.

So l guess being on a game show
isn't really high

on her list
of priorities right about now.

Mm, l tend to doubt it.

lf you'd like to make a call,

please hang up and try again.

lf you need...

lt's just all a waste
of time and money!

Sure, if you sit there
pouting the whole time.

Excuse me, l answered every
question that woman asked me.

Jesse, saying ''l'm sorry,
l don't know how l feel,''

is not a productive response.

Well, maybe
l don't feel comfortable

telling a total stranger
what l'm thinking about.

Jesse, um...

what are you thinking?

l mean, no one's here,
we're all alone.

What are you thinking?

Andrea...

Andrea...
you're just not the girl

l fell in love with anymore.

The girl l fell in love with

was-was self-confident,
she was driven,

she was decisive,
she was going some place.

Well, she got pregnant.

She had to get married,

raise a child and go to school.

Unless, of course, you thought

that Hannah
should have raised herself.

Just forget it.
Let's just drop it, all right?

You know,
l didn't become a mother

and a housewife on my own.

You were involved, too.

So don't hold me accountable

for the decisions
we made together.

l don't remember
being consulted about Peter.

Well, look, l-l better go
pick up Hannah at Mom's.

Jesse, you can't just
say something like that

to me and walk out.

lt's not fair.

What is fair, Andrea?

Hmm?

Okay, this Haitian language
is a mixture

of French
and African dialects.

What is patois?

No.

That's not the right answer?

lt doesn't matter.

lt doesn't count
unless you hit the buzzer

the moment after Alex
reads the answer.

What buzzer?

Oh. Look, if you're planning
on taking home some loot,

you got to concentrate,

and reaction time
is everything, buddy.

Funny.

l thought knowing the right
answers was everything.

-Brandon, you got...
-Steve,

don't l have to become
a contestant

before l can win any loot?

Hey, guys. What are you doing?

Brandon's training
for College Jeopardy!

Really? Good luck.

l hear, the competition

to get on there is going
to be pretty brutal.

Uh, l'm not worried about it.

l think Brandon
can go one-on-one

with anyone from any school
in the country.

Hmm. Problem is,

they usually only pick
one person from each college.

Yeah. So?

So my hunch is,
l'm going to be that person.

You're trying out
for College Jeopardy!, too?

Yeah, it's, uh, something
l've always really wanted to do.

Yeah. Me, too.

Well, l'm afraid at least

one of us is going
to be disappointed.

Well, you know what they say,

''Que le meilleur gagne.''

Ganja? What?

What? What does that mean?

lt means, ''Good luck, sucker.''

Ciao.

She was just trying
to psyche you out.

She was not!

Look, Clare happens to be
a very good player.

ln fact, she spends hours

playing every night
on her computer.

-So?
-So?

So she answers
all the questions in French.

Ha.

Well, good luck
in the tournament.

Boys.

Hey, tell Clare not
to get her hopes up.

-We've got some work to do.
-Yeah.

Okay.

What do you...?

Hi, guys!

Come on in.

Look, Kelly, Daddy's home.

Yeah, l can see that, sweetie.

Uh, what's-what's going on here?

Take a wild guess.

Yeah, a really wild guess.

The wilder the better.

Um, honey, why don't you
go get your coat on, okay?

And-And we'll just go, um...

We'll just go.

How weird was that?

Weird.

That was... that was definitely
one for ''The X Files.''

They looked so happy.

lt was disgusting, wasn't it?

lt must be nice for Erin.

l mean, when l was little,

all l wanted was for Mommy
and Daddy to get back together.

You know,
l-l can't believe that, uh...

Jackie forgave my dad
for all that.

l mean, that's...

l wouldn't blame her
if she never did.

l just... l...

Could you ever do that?

Could you ever forgive somebody
for something like that?

l don't know.

Mm, it would depend
on a lot of things,

like how remorseful
the person was,

or how much l loved them.

Hmm.

l think l could.

l'm not sure.

l wish l could be forgiven.

What are you talking about?

You never cheated on Clare,
did you?

No, l wasn't talking
about Clare.

l was...

l was talking about Donna.

Hi, everyone,
and welcome to Jeopardy!

No, l'm not Ray Pruit.

l want to leave a message
for him.

Here we go, round one.

Well, when he checks in,

will you just tell him
Donna called, please?

No, not Donald! Donna!

D-O-N-N-A.

Yes.

Thank you.

He was supposed
to check in last night.

Ray's a big boy.

He can take care of himself.

Or is that the problem--

that he's a big boy?

What if,

you know, out of sight,
out of mind?

Not a chance.

l hope you're right.

Hey, look at it this way.

lf, um, you and Ray do break up,

you always have David
waiting in the wings.

Clare, l told you.

David and l
are just good friends.

Yeah, l know, l know.

l'm not blaming you
for anything.

David and l had
five months together,

which is about
five months longer

than l've had
with anyone else, so...

So, are-are you guys both cool
with it being over?

Yeah. Yeah.

l think we'll probably
end up good friends.

Eventually.

lf we ever start talking again.

Hmm.

Maybe it's Ray.

Hello?

lt's for you.

Oh. Hello?

Clare, guess who's sitting
right in front of me?

l have no idea.

Well, he's a friend of yours.

He's president
of the student body,

and l'm afraid
he's a bit delusional

about College Jeopardy!

Daddy.

Please, don't embarrass me here.

Clare asked me to remind you

that she's fluent
in five languages.

Yeah.

Don't do this to me, please.

Why are you doing this?

She says the only way you'll win

is if the category
is funny haircuts.

Huh.

Dad, tell him that you're
the one saying that now, please.

Oh, sorry, darling, got to go.

Tell him that it's not me...

Dad... what...

l was just having
a little fun at your expense.

Yeah, l kind of got that, sir.

l'm sure you'll do brilliantly
tomorrow.

And as Clare says,
''Que le meilleur gagne.''

Yes?

Howard!

Thanks for calling me back...

Jesse. You okay?

You don't look so good.

Thanks.

You want some soup?

Coffee.

l need coffee.

Coffee.

Sounds like something l
don't even want to get into.

Trust me, you don't.

Married life can really
take it out of you.

l can imagine.

Thanks.

Can l, uh, get you anything?

No.

l, uh, think l'm going to finish
this chapter, and then head out.

Okay. Good.

The fact is, Andrea and l aren't
doing so great right now.

Honestly don't know
if we're going to make it.

l'm really sorry
to hear that, man.

You don't have to put on an act
on my account, Dylan.

Andrea told me you saw her
go into that motel.

You wouldn't believe
the last few days.

Every word we say
drives the other one nuts.

And l had to move out,
just to preserve our sanity.

l really am sorry to hear that.

Yeah, me, too.

So, what are you going to do?

l don't know.

l can't stay at my folks' house.

They'd die if they knew
what was going on.

My best friend just had a kid,
so that boat's full.

The whole idea of getting
my own apartment's

completely out of the question.

We can barely afford
the one we have now.

Look, Jess, if you're stuck
or something, man,

l could...

Oh, man, thanks.

l was hoping you'd say that.

lt'll only be for a couple
of nights, l promise.

l could make you a loan
was what l was gonna say.

You won't even know l'm there.

Don't put me in the middle

-of this thing, Jesse.
-l promise.

l won't even mention her name,
not once.

That's not the point.

lf l let you stay,
it's like l'm choosing sides

-against her and...
-Look, if Andrea

and l don't get some time apart,
man, we're gonna fall apart.

So, so, actually you'd be doing
Andrea a favor

by letting me move in with you.

Huh?

All right.

A couple of days.

That's great.

And like l said,

you know what?

You won't even know l'm there.

All right.

Quiet as a mouse.

...and l like to translate
German technical manuals

in my spare time.

That's just great.

And last but not least,

we have Brandon Walsh
from California University.

Brandon is the Student
Body President

with an undeclared major

and a grade point average of...

Whoa.

Can we stop tape for a moment,
please?

-Johnny?
-Yes, Alex.

ls something wrong?

Well, it says here that

Brandon's grade point average
is 3.2.

-That's all?
-Yeah.

What's the sense of having
a screening process

if this is what
we're gonna end up with?

l'll have the contestant
coordinators taken out

-and shot, Alex.
-Ah, never mind.

Let's go on.

Um, all right, Brandon,

how do you explain your feeble
grade point average?

Well, as president
of the school,

l do a lot of extracurricular
activities

as well as volunteer work.

-ln fact...
-Right.

Johnny, refresh my memory here.

Wasn't there a lovely
young woman

from California University
that everyone liked?

Yes, a remarkable young woman.

Clare Arnold.

Only child of the Chancellor,

Clare was educated
on three continents,

maintains a perfect 4.0
grade average

and boasts a radiant blend
of physical beauty

and cosmopolitan street smarts

that can only be described as
that certain ''je ne sais quoi.''

Yeah. Clare Arnold.

l really liked her.

So, how did we end up
with this clown?

Just remember, you gotta wait

until the light flashes
before you hit the button.

Steve, you're killing me.

l'm just trying
to psyche you up.

Yeah, l know that.

Don't you think
we should hold off

on the motivational training

till after l pass
the written test?

Guys, did you know that 90%%
of all the applicants

will flunk the general
knowledge exam?

No, Clare.

How did you know that?

Have you been sucking up
to the show's statistician?

Steve, do you always
have to be so nasty?

l don't know.

l guess Clare brings out
the best in me.

lf l could have
your attention, please?

Would everyone
who's trying out today

please follow me
into the testing area.

Prospective contestants only.

Thank you.

That's us.

No, no, Steve, that's us.

Shall we?

-Good luck, Brandon.
-Good luck, Clare.

Thanks, bye.

Hey, Dylan?

Want some coffee?

No. Thanks.

Ow!

Hey, Dylan, you know,
if you wanted me

to do anything around here,
l can help you out,

let me know.

No, don't worry about it.
Really.

Okay.

So, what are you working on,
man?

Well, l'm helping
to write a screenplay

with some guy l met in rehab.

What you... you two guys
work separately

and then compare notes,
is that it?

l make my notes, he makes his

and then l take them
over to him.

He's got this office
over at a motel.

We kind of...

Oh, the motel where Andrea was,
right?

Yeah, l'm, uh, sorry.

Forget l said that.

Okay, you know,

but only, on the day
you caught her, where...

Hey, l didn't catch her.

Whatever the word is.

What did she say?

What could she say?

Jesse, what was our
agreement about this?

l'm not asking you
to take sides,

but l gotta know what happened.

Oh, what, you want the details?

-Yeah.
-Okay, man,

but it wasn't pretty.

Look, there were chains,
there were whips,

there was a clown outfit,

purple fright wigs
were involved,

there were two dwarfs
in attendance,

one wearing scuba gear.

Look, l got video,
l got Polaroids.

What do you want to see first?

They teach us to think like that
in law school.

You know, you get the evidence,
you get an indictment.

Well, stop it, 'cause
you're torturing yourself.

l know.

Worse than that,
you're torturing me.

Okay.

l get the picture.

Not another word.

Promise.

Hey, Dylan?

Do you got any decaf?

Sorry about that phone call
from my father yesterday.

Oh, that's all right.

You know, he and Steve
should start a support group

for people that blow things
out of proportion.

l know, l mean,
to them it's like

we're competing with each other
or something.

-lt's ridiculous.
-Obnoxious.

lt's like they've forgotten
that Jeopardy! is a game.

l mean,
you know how much fun it is

to sit at home
and compete against

the other contestants.

Absolutely.

l mean,

the odds are
that neither one of us

will be one of the students
they pick to be on the show.

Well, l don't agree
with that at all.

Why not?

Well, for one thing,
it's statistically invalid.

When you eliminate

all the lamebrains that are here
and factor in such variables as,

uh, wit and, uh, charm,

l think l have a great chance
of getting on the show.

ls that so?

-Yeah. -Good day, ladies and
gentlemen, this is Alex Trebek,

welcoming you all to the College
Championship contestant test.

Here is your first one.

The category is Famous Quotes.

And the answer is:

Are you looking
at my answer sheet?

And why would l do that?

l don't know, beats me.

Next category is Sports.

The answer is: ''ln 1977,
baseball's American League

''expanded to 14 teams,

including the Toronto Blue Jays
and this team.''

l really admire your stamina.

Even at your age, l don't think
l could have managed school

and the Peach Pit After Dark.

Well, it really doesn't take
much of my time anymore.

l mean the club basically
runs itself.

No kidding?

Yeah, l mean,

the word of mouth is
great, and the promotion,

l haven't spent a dime
in two weeks.

Jim and l just have
to come down.

l mean, we love to dance.
Wouldn't that be fun?

Hmm.

Andrea!

Long time no see.

-Come on sit down, join us.
-No, no, that's okay,

l'm in a rush, l...
Cindy l was hoping maybe

you could watch Hannah
for a couple hours.

You know l would, but my last
tutorial meets today.

lt's gonna be meeting straight
through dinner.

ls everything all right?

Yeah, you know,
l'm-l'm just in a bind.

lf it's really important,
l can watch her.

l have nothing to do for
the rest of the day.

Cindy, tell her... tell her
how great l am with kids.

l mean, l basically
raised my little sister.

l can vouch for that.

Well...

all right, if you're sure?

Yeah, l love kids.

Great.

Where will you be
so l can come pick her up later?

Uh, well, l do have
to go to the club.

Why don't you just come
by when you're finished?

Okay.

Okay. lt's all right.

-Well, this is everything
she needs. -Okay.

Steve, great news.

They released everyone
an hour ago

that didn't pass
the written exam.

What've they been doing
in there all this time?

Playing practice rounds
for the contestant coordinators.

Uh-huh.

This is where they're
gonna separate the cream

from the buttermilk.

What have you got against Clare?

l just don't like the way

she broke up with David
that's all.

Hey, that was a mutual thing
and you know it.

Eh.

Look, Clare is a great person.

Besides, if she
and Brandon can get along,

l don't understand
why we can't be here

without being
at each other's throats.

Clare, what are you gonna do?

Are you gonna
go to the producers?

Tell them l'm a cheater?

-Tell them l should
be disqualified? -No, Brandon.

l'm not an informer, all right?

-But l know what l saw.
-What you saw?

For you to insinuate
that l was looking at your test

is unbelievably bogus.

Bogus?

No, what's bogus was

that lame answer you gave
in Double Jeopardy!

Well, at least it got a laugh
out of the producers,

which is more than l can say

for you saying the question
in French.

No, she didn't?

Ah, but she did.
For she is Clare.

She is a pretentious,
coldhearted ''beech.''

Brandon!

Look, let's settle this
once and for all.

You and me, one-on-one,
the home game of Jeopardy!,

winner takes all.

Losers takes themselves

out of consideration
for the tournament.

Name the time, name the place--

l'll be there.

-l bet you will.
-Mm-hmm.

Sacre bleu.

Where did you steal that?

l didn't steal her.

lt's Hannah.
l'm babysitting.

Wait a minute,
An-Andrea left you with Hannah?

She really must be in a bind.

This is not a good idea.

Why, l just came by to see

if l could arouse
your parental instincts,

or anything else that's
up for being aroused.

Hey, Dylan-- oh.

Sorry, l'll leave you--
Wha-what's Hannah doing here?

Where's Andrea?

Uh, l don't know, she had
to rush off somewhere.

Oh, to see Peter maybe?

-Who's Peter? -Jess,
you're jumping to conclusions.

Let me get this straight;
Andrea left the baby

with somebody she barely knows
and just took off?

-Wait, l didn't say that. -Oh,
so you do know where she is?

-Am l on trial here?
-Jess, you said

you were not going to put me
in the middle of this.

That was before Andrea deserted
our baby to go play doctor

with some little doctor friend
of hers.

-W-What are you talking about?
-Mellow out.

Sorry, l forgot.

You guys are Andrea's friends,
right?

Not mine.

Okay, man, look,
l think you better just go.

You know something?
l think you're right.

Come on, sweetie,
let's go to Grandma's.

-All right?
-Bye, sweetie.

Tell Andrea that l'm at
my parents' house.

l think she's got the number.

Oh,

and so much
for not taking sides, right?

And now let's begin
the Jeopardy! grudge match.

Hmm.

History for $100,please, Alex.

-Excellent choice, Brando.
-Thank you.

''Balkan city in which the heir
to the Austro-Hungarian throne

was assassinated in 1914,
setting off World War l?''

That would be Brandon.

Sarajevo.

-What is Sarajevo?
-Correct.

Wait a second, that was not
in the form of a question.

-He corrected himself.
-l know.

l'm just saying
it merits a warning.

What's going on?

lt's a grudge match between
Brandon and Clare to decide

which of them is more infantile.

lt just needs a warning,
that's all.

Can we just play the game,
please?

How about History for $200?

They're playing Jeopardy!
This is my favorite game.

l sent in a card
so l could be on the show.

Did they respond?

-Uh-huh, they did.
-''...same velocity.''

Clare.

-Brandon.
-Clare.

You call that
a history question?

l'm sorry, that's incorrect.

Brandon.

Uh, have you seen Valerie?

-No, l haven't seen her.
-l guess l'm early.

l'll just...
just hang out and watch.

Don't call me ''she'' when l'm
sitting right in front of you.

Well, maybe she should just
answer the questions and...

Excuse me.

Brandon, Clare, aren't
there usually three players?

Yeah, technically.

Kelly, this is a grudge match
up here.

Yeah, l know,
but l have an idea.

Since you guys just started,

why don't you drop this
macho grudge-match posturing

and test your skills
against a quality player

like Andrea?

What did you say?

l said you're a player and
you ought to be playing.

Yeah, sure, we could start over.

Fine by me.

Who is Mary Shelley?

Who is Walter Cronkite?

What is the lnternet?

What is calculus?

What is onomatopoeia?

Once again, correct, Andrea.

Uh, Literature for $1 ,000.

''19th century American author
renowned

''for stories
in which poor boys become rich

through honesty and hard work?''

Yeah, Brandon.

l have no idea.

l just wanted
to ring in first for once.

Oh, that'll cost you.

Andrea.

Who is Horatio Alger?

Once again, that is correct.

And ladies and gentlemen,

we're back with the final
round of Jeopardy!

after your host-- me--
goes to the bathroom and pukes.

Good job.

Thank you.

l'm so excited.

Hey, Andrea,
can l talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure.

Do you realize we were just
trounced by a housewife?

Yeah, this is one
of those moments

that scars you for life.

Well, at least l beat someone.

Not that it matters.

Then he was giving me
the third degree

about how l ended up
with Hannah.

You didn't tell him anything,
did you?

Well, what was l supposed
to tell him?

l mean, l think l'm the only one
around here

who doesn't know that you two

are in the middle
of a custody battle.

ls that what he called it?

Well, he was talking
like a lawyer.

Did he say where he was going
to take her?

Your mother-in-law's house.

You know, chief,
seeing as you beat us both...

l'm sorry, l have to go.

What'd you say to her?

l just told her

that l thought Jesse was going
to file for divorce.

Why does it matter where l was?

-Why do you think?
-l told you it's over.

Oh, oh, so now there's
some other mystery destination

l can't know about,
is that it?

l'm not going to stand here
and be interrogated by you.

Well, look, it wouldn't feel
like an interrogation

if you would simply answer
the questions!

All right,
you want to know where l was?

l went to see a lawyer.
Are you happy?

Wait, you already have a lawyer?

Yes, because l know
exactly how your mind works.

You went to the lawyer.

That's your mind.

Don't pin that on me.

Then don't play Mr. lnnocent
with me.

l was worried that you were
going to try to build a case

so you can go and get custody
of our daughter, Hannah,

and then when l spoke to Valerie

l saw that is exactly what
you were trying to do.

l asked Valerie
where you were, which l think,

under the circumstances,

was a fairly reasonable line
of questioning.

No, it's not reasonable.

l told you
l am not seeing Peter anymore.

lt's over...
and it's over with us.

Now, l want my daughter back
and l want her back tomorrow.

-Look, l'm...
-Get out!

Andrea...

Get out.

Fine.

Fine, fine.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Chancellor Arnold.

No, l was just expecting
my boyfriend to call.

He's out of town, which...

which reminds me,
Clare is out, too.

No, l honestly don't know how
she did at the audition today

because l haven't talked
to her.

l sure will.

Okay, bye-bye now.

Okay, l'm serious now.

lf l hear one more Jeopardy!
pep talk from this man...

Oh, l think it's cute.

l think he's obsessed.

And l think it runs
in the family.

The way you were with Brandon

after the tryouts
and at the grudge match,

l've never seen you act
that way before.

l know.

l'm just under a lot of pressure
right now.

Because of College Jeopardy!?

l guess.

l don't know.

l don't know what's wrong
with me lately.

Well, why don't you give it
a rest

and think about something else
for a while?

Yeah.

And here are the categories.

We start you off
with Minnesota Studs.

Next we have...

l'll take Minnesota Studs
for $1 ,000.

The answer is:

''He and his fiery
twin sister...''

Clare?

-Who is Brandon Walsh?
-That's right.

You retain control
of the board, so pick again.

Okay,
l'll take Walshes for $1 ,000.

Answer: ''This Walsh,
one of America's''-- Clare?

-Who is Brandon Walsh?
-That's right.

-Whoo.
-Another $1 ,000 for you.

And that sound means
you're out of Double Jeopardy!

And Clare winds up with $52,000.

Johnny, tell her what she's won.

Well, Clare, you have won
your very own Brandon Walsh.

With movable limbs
and comb-able hair,

this Brandon comes complete
with his very own Mustang

and will provide hours of fun.

Excuse me, Alex.

-Chancellor? -l don't mean
to be a problem here,

but l need Brandon

to take care of some
important university business

far, far away.

-l see.
-Anyway,

the fact is: she prefers guys
who speak French anyway.

-Daddy.
-She does?

Well, then, she's in luck.

Gaston, come on over here.

Viens ici.

Oh, hey, Brand.

Hi. Did l wake you up?

No, l've been up
pretty much all night.

Come on in, have some coffee.

Good, l got bagels,
l got lox, l got cream cheese,

l got lemon wedges and those
funny little green things...

Capers.

Capers, yeah, right.

lt's just sort of my way
of saying thanks.

For what?

For saving me and Clare
from ourselves.

We turned an ordinary
Jeopardy! rivalry

into Mortal Kombat,
but after yesterday it's clear

that you are the person that
should be representing C.U.

Thanks, Brandon,
but l... l can't.

What are you talking about?

You had a great time yesterday.

We've been talking about going
on College Jeopardy! forever.

l know,

but my life is pretty
complicated right now, Brand.

Level with me.

You know my problems with Jesse,
right?

l know that Jesse's living
at Dylan's house,

or at least he was.

Brandon, l had an affair.

Was it serious?

l was ready to leave Jesse.

That sounds pretty serious.

For me it was,

but, uh, Peter--
that's his name--

he didn't feel the same
way about it, not at all,

and now l can't help but wonder

how l could be so clueless
about love.

Welcome to the human race.

No.

No, Brandon,

this is different.

Pregnant or not,

l married Jesse because
l really believed

that we had something special.

And now it's a year later
and we've both cheated.

Jesse, too?

He had a one-night stand.

And now all l know for sure

is that none of this
would have happened

if there hadn't been
something wrong to begin with.

You know, it's not
like Jesse's flawless.

l'm not saying that, but, uh...

l can't help feel
that there is...

something wrong with me.

l may be out of line
saying this,

but l'm going to say it
anyway.

Ever since high school,
you haven't seemed happy.

Somewhere along the line, l just
started backing off things.

You know?

Yale, the school paper,

running for office,

even, God forbid,
College Jeopardy!

l never felt like a failure
before, and now,

l feel like my life
is just such a mess.

Hey, hey, that's not true.

You have a great daughter.

You're a great mother.

You can kick my butt
at Jeopardy!

without even breaking a sweat.

Andrea...

you are a remarkable person.

You really are.

Thanks.

l needed to hear that.

Come here.

Thank you.

Hi. What do you want?

Hi. l'm, uh...

l'm looking for Kelly.

She's not home yet.

Do you mind if l come in
and-and wait for her?

You can do whatever you want.

Thanks.

So, uh, how's Donna holding up,
with Ray out of town and all?

l don't know, David.

Why don't you wait until
she gets out of the shower

and ask her yourself?

What? What did l say?

lf you want to see Donna,
be my guest.

But don't come here and tell me

you want to see Kelly,
all right?

lt's insulting.

l got to go break
some news to my father.

Make yourself at home.

Uh, Donna?

Hello?

Hey, who's this?

This is David. Who's this?

lt's Ray. ls Donna there?

No, Ray.
Donna's in the, uh, shower.

She's in the shower?

Yeah. Can l take a message?

David?

Yeah, l was just waiting
for Kelly.

Hey, is that Donna?

Here, it's for you.

Thanks.

Hello?

Donna.

Ray. Uh, where have you been?

l've been worried sick
about you.

Man, where do l start?

My truck broke down,
and my gig here got postponed,

and then somebody stole
one of my amps.

Then l check into the motel
and l've got five messages from

''Donald'' with your phone number.

l can't believe that operator.

l even told her
how to spell my name.

Anyway, where are you?

l'm at a gas station,
waiting for my truck.

Look, l can't really talk
that long.

l just wanted to run
an idea by you.

What?

Hang on!

Sorry.

Anyway, l'm going to be
in Portland for spring break,

and l was wondering if maybe
you wanted to come

and, uh, visit me.

Oh, my God, of course.

l thought you'd never ask.

Great.

All right, well,
l'll call you later, Donald.

l promise.

-Bye.
-Bye.

l am so relieved.

l mean, you know how long

l've been trying
to get a hold of him?

l was just...

l was beginning to think...

Well, you know, after a while,
you just,

you start to suspect the worst,
and...

l've got to tell Clare.

Uh, actually,
Clare left when l got here.

She did.

Yeah.

David, um...

Look, l...

l feel really bad about you guys
breaking up.

Oh... Oh, don't.
lt, uh, it was for the best.

Yeah, but... l just...

l-l feel kind of responsible.

You shouldn't, really.

Oh, l'm glad to hear
you say that.

You know,
l tried to explain to Clare

how we feel about each other.

-You did?
-Yeah.

l told her we were
just good friends,

and there was absolutely
no romantic thing

happening between us
whatsoever anymore.

l mean, especially since,
you know,

how much l love Ray.

-Yeah.
-Oh, guess what?

Ray invited me to come
to Portland

and visit him
during spring break.

Really, that's, uh,
that's funny 'cause...

well, l was gonna go to Portland

and-and visit my mother
during spring break.

So maybe, uh,
maybe while l'm out there,

we can, uh, hook up
or something.

l can't believe l let you
talk me into this.

Sure you can. l barely
had to twist your arm.

Now l'll be back to pick you up
in a couple of hours. Okay?

That's not really what...

No buts about it, all right?

Except for the ones
you're gonna kick in there.

Oh, right.

Sit yourself down, got get 'em.

Okay, thank you.

-Good luck.
-Thank you.

So what did your dad say
when you told him

you were bailing out.

Have you ever actually seen
a Nobel Prize winner cry?

You know, this could've been us,
my little chickadee.

Yeah, it could've been us.

Hi.

l managed to forget
Hannah's diaper bag

when l left yesterday.

Yeah. lt's right here.

Thanks.

Look, however you feel
about me...

Jesse, l barely know you.

Be that as it may,
you might as well tell me

what you know about Andrea's
affair.

This is ridiculous.

lt is not ridiculous.

Andrea's hired a lawyer,

so it's just a matter of time
before your subpoenaed.

Subpoenaed? For what?
Your divorce proceedings?

ls that what you want?

l'll have to protect myself.

No, no, no, no.

See, this is where
you lawyers mess up the world.

See, you're so busy
protecting yourself,

you didn't stop
for one second to ask,

''What is it l want?
What is it she really wants?''

Well, obviously,
she wants a divorce.

Well, did she say that?

Or have you just been so busy
building up your case,

that you forgot
that the real objective here

is for you guys to work
this thing out, man.

You're married;
you gotta get it back together.

lf not for yourself...
do it for Hannah.

l have no idea how things
got so out of hand.

However they did,

it's your life;
you got to fix it.

Yeah, see ya.

Here we go.

Today's Final Jeopardy! is:

Who...

was...

Thomas... Jefferson?

Going to move down the line
to start with you, Kurt.

Did you have the right
U.S. President?

''Who was Jefferson?''

How did Barbie know that,
sweetheart?

History's Barbie's
favorite subject, Grandma.

Come here.

Now we move to the lady
next to you...

Now you listen to me.

You tell Barbie

she can do anything
she puts her mind to.

Anything?

Anything, bubee.

And don't you ever let
anyone tell her differently.

All right,
that gives you $6,000.

And now we go
to our returning champion...

Good day, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Alex Trebek
welcoming you all

to the College Championship
contestant test.

Yeah, it was nice meeting you.

Andrea.

Hannah insisted
we come down here

and bring you luck.

So, uh, you know...

Well, l think it worked.

l think, l, uh...

l think l may have aced
that test.

No doubt of that.

Um...

l don't know what to say.

You know, things

seemed to have snowballed
so out of control...

l know.

And l agree.

Andrea...

All l do know right now
is that l love you.

l love our daughter.

And l really, really
want to come home.

Oh, Jesse.

l love you.

By the way, ladies and
gentlemen, for those of you...

Clare, this is so exciting.

Don't you wish you'd gone?

Maybe next time.

Yeah, Daddy, maybe next time.

Bran, speaking of next time...

Steve, no offense,
but if there is a next time

l think l'd rather be coached
by the champ here.

You don't know whether
l won or not.

lt was worth a shot.

Andrea, this is killing me.

Did you win or lose?

My lips are sealed.

And so are Hannah's.

Well, that makes no difference.

Dinner's on the house
no matter who wins.

Hey, turn up the sound.

Let's take a look at the answer.

Good luck, players.