Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 5, Episode 18 - Hazardous to Your Health - full transcript

Coming!

Good morning.

Hey, what's the occasion?

Oh, nothing. l was just
thinking about you.

l thought maybe you'd be hungry.

l scored some amazing scones.

Yeah, now's not a good
time for me, Val.

Why? ls somebody here?

No, nobody's here.
l'm going out of town.

Great. Can l come?

-No.
-Well, why not? lt'll be fun.



You don't even
know where l'm going.

Okay, Dylan,

where are you going?

lt's none of your business.

Just don't ask me any questions
right now, okay?

Listen, Dylan, l can keep
a secret.

Don't make me beg.

That's my cab.

Listen, l've got to go.

At least say you're
glad to see me.

Val, come on, do you
expect me to believe

l'm the one guy on your little
bakery route this morning.

l'll remember that.

Pasajeros, bienvenidos
a Punta Brava.



Thank you for flying with us
and we hope you enjoy your stay.

Passengers for flight 32,

your baggage is in baggage claim
area number four.

Passenger Ramon Gutierrez,
please pick up a courtesy phone.

Hotel Consuelo?

Gracias.

De nada, senor.

He's uh, he's expecting me;
it's all right,

Hey, Jones...

Hey, Jones.

Get the hell up!

Get up!

What happened here?!

Not now, kid.

Just come back later, all right?

Stop it! Stop it!

Are you crazy?

Possibly. Why didn't you pick me
up at the airport?

A setback, l had a setback.

What?

Did you happen to see
this foxy lady

leaving Punta Brava

with the other one of these?

That is your setback?

Oh, man, you just
go back to bed.

l'll tell you what,

l can find somebody competent to
do the job for what l'm paying!

No, no, hold it, hold it,
hold it.

Don't you cop attitude with me,
you understand?

No, attitude!

Now, l am way on top of this
case, you understand?

Oh, yeah, l can see that.

You ought to consider
yourself lucky

to be working with
a pro like me.

l'm a total professional.

Look, you get dressed.

And if they're out there, l want
to know it, l want to see it!

Oh, they're
here, sport.

And you'll see it.

Well, well, wellie,
well, well.

More big numbers posted for
the Andrea Zuckerman machine.

Oh, my, dean's
list again?

Boy, you're in a
real rut, Andrea.

Look, don't make fun.

This was my hardest
semester ever.

Hannah was sick
throughout exams.

Oh, that's right.

Cindy said if it wasn't for
some hot shot med student,

she could have developed
pneumonia, right?

Did l say that to Cindy?

Didn't hear it
from Brenda.

Yeah, l might've been
exaggerating a little,

and it wasn't like he
wasn't a good doctor,

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what is this that l see?

ls that a little blush l see
on your cheek, chief?

Could be she's having impure
thoughts about other men.

Hot oil messages?

You guys, all l was thinking was

how l couldn't stop second-
guessing his diagnosis, okay?

lt was just a joke.

Well, be a little
funnier next time.

-Oh, that hurt.
-Oh.

Hey, hey, l've
got great news.

l've got three
classes next semester

that are almost exactly alike.

-And that's great news?
-lt's awesome news.

That means one final paper
for all three classes.

Well, overachievers,

it is now obvious
that Kelly has stood me up,

so l'm gonna go

to the campus and face the music
all by my lonesome.

Not all of us have the
Steve Sanders course load.

Hey, hey, l'm taking
aesthetics of golf, too.

Come on, just
give it a chance.

No, we're not turning
the Peach Pit After Dark

into a hip-hop club.

What's going on,
club chicks?

Have you seen
Kelly anywhere?

Yeah, on campus.

She was going to the
Administration Building.

l guess something wasn't right
with her psych tutorial.

But she's probably
home by now.

Thanks. See ya.

-See ya.
-Bye.

So, what were you saying?

Hip-hop is boring.

Oh, but alternative rock

with the same droning guitars

and hoarse singer screaming
about how things suck,

that's invigorating?

Things do suck.

Tough.

We're not booking
any downer bands.

Okay.

What does it take to evolve?

Discipline and and courage.

What can you achieve?

Control, confidence

and a first peek at your
shining self...

Okay, voyagers, let's review...

Don't turn that off
on my account.

How long have you
been spying?

l'd prefer to think of it
as adoring from afar.

l've always liked you on
the floor in weird positions.

You are definitely
in that category

Professor Finley calls
''the rough beast.''

l can live with that.

l heard there was some problem
today with his tutorial.

Yeah, the Faculty Council
decided that he of all people

is not worthy
of job security,

academic recognition,
or a pay raise.

Are you telling me Patrick
Finley was denied tenure?

-Mm-hmm.
-ln my task force report,

he had the highest popularity
rating of any professor.

l know, it's true.

And now he won't do any
of his tutorial teachings

until he gets an
immediate appeal.

Well, l'm sorry, Kel,
and l hope l don't

embarrass you, but l think

l'm going to have
to twist the dean's arm

on this one personally
until he gets that appeal.

Oh, you approve
of that, do you?

Yes.

l thought l was going to have
to persuade you much harder

-to get you involved.
-Well, in that case,

forget l said anything
and persuade away.

Check it out.

They took a year lease.

Yeah, that's Kevin
and that's Suzanne.

No, no, now they
call themselves

Karl and Kitty Cavendish.

Cute, huh?

Erica is still Erica
as far as l can tell.

l mean she doesn't
have an alias.

So, what are they
doing down here?

Business opportunities.

They arrived about a week ago
from Santos, Brazil, man.

They had an import company,

but you can bet that it was
a cover for smuggling.

Drugs?

Why not?

The way l figure it either
got too dry or too hot,

and they just went looking
for greener pastures.

Speaking of green,
where's my cash?

There's 50 grand
in a local bank,

but the big bucks are stashed
in another bank

with a secret account
number somewhere.

That's what we're
gonna flush out.

-How do you know all that?
-How do l know all that?

Right now, l got a nice
juicy wire tap

on their phone line, okay?

l can tell you
all sorts of stuff.

This guy ''Karl''

thinks he's Captain Kidd,
and he's into, uh...

blowing his big bucks
on pirate collectibles.

Kitty, on the other hand,
she's just happy

that she's not sleeping
with Karl, is that enough?

Serves her right. What's next?

l've been thinking
on that a little.

A little?
You've been thinking a little?

You called me
all the way down here,

you haven't
even got a plan?

Hey, l did. You dig?

So what happened?

Carrie Anne-- she bailed.

Without the right foxy lady,
this plan ain't going to fly.

Well, get another one, genius.

l wish.
She was one in a million.

There's Erica.

l'm telling you,

she could lie
like a rug,

tease like a sleaze.

How am l going
to find another Carrie Anne?

Hello.

Dylan?

Listen, l'm sorry.
l can't hear you.

Don't hang up. Just listen.

After this morning?
Fat chance!

l'm in Punta Brava, okay?

l really need you.

Well, l don't care.

l want you to come down.
l'll pay.

Oh, now you want me
to come down.

Listen, l'm sorry.

Come on, Val.

Look, there's a flight
leaving tomorrow morning.

Call the airlines
and get a reservation.

Right?
And why would l want to do that?

Valerie, you coming?

Yeah. l'll be there in a second.

Listen, Dylan, l can't talk.

l promised the Walshes
l'd go out tonight.

Jim's firm's being honored by
the Chamber of Commerce. Okay?

Yeah, you're right.
How can l compete with that?

Have fun.

Dylan, what's going on?

What's the difference?

You can't talk, right?

Honey, just...
just leave the knot.

lt's not the tie
l'm worried about.

lt's getting there on time.

Oh, there she is.
Come on, Val. Let's go.

You look lovely.

Thank you. Um...

Can you guys go without me?

What?

-Are you okay?
-Yeah, l'm fine.

lt's just my friend Ginger
from back home is on the phone,

and she's in a really bad way.

l might have
to fly out tomorrow morning.

To Buffalo?

Yeah.

Um... l'm
really sorry, Jim.

Have a wonderful time.
Okay, guys?

Valerie...

Never a dull moment.

You want me to go upstairs

and see what's
really going on, Dad?

No. Because l don't care.

Well, l do.

Why would she lie?

Because she has no shame.

Let's just go, okay?

Okay, Dylan. l'm yours.

What do you want me to do?

Now you're talking.

Grab a pencil. Here's the plan.

Flight number 22,
destination Los Angeles...

Hey, Val's plane is here.
She's stuck in customs.

What else is new?
Can l get you something?

No. Just my eight
million bucks, please.

That's what
we're here for.

Now, look. Put
this on, okay?

You're going to play
the part of a valet,

so you might as
well start wearing it.

You really think
it's a good idea

for all three of us
to be seen together?

Kid, l've got my ear on
the Cavendishes, all right?

Now, you just pay
attention to me,

do what l tell you, and
we'll stay one step ahead.

Yeah, well, excuse me

if you don't inspire a great
amount of confidence, Jones.

That's because you haven't
seen me in action, pal.

What was yesterday?

Look, when l was with the Bureau
doing Special Ops

with Christine all the time,
l mean, she knew

that if you got your
beer nuts in the fire,

that l was the best man
to call-- fuzzy old me.

Well, if you're so great,

how come you're not still
with the Bureau?

Half my jobs are
with the government.

Who do you think they get to
clean up their dirty work, huh,

when they're not allowed to?

l mean, you name it,
kid, l have done it.

l'm a master.
You are working with a master.

Hey, for what l'm paying you,
you better be.

l've got a problem here, okay?

lt gives me the heebie-jeebies

working with an amateur.

Now, this little sweetie pie
of yours

better be up
to major league ball,

or there's going
to be a delay of game.

Don't you worry
about my girl Val.

She's a player.

She better be.

There she is.

-Oh, my!
-Mm-hmm.

Does she know that l'm supposed
to be the boyfriend?

Just cut the static. Why don't
you give her a test run?

Valerie!

Oh, God! l've missed you, baby,
so much!

How are you?

Hi.

l missed you, too.

Jeeves, where
are your manners?

Pick up the lady's bags and
take us to the Palmilla Hotel.

Now.

So, major league enough
for you?

Hall of Fame
potential.

Take the bags.

Please. There's nothing

you or l can do
about his appeal.

Tenure is in the hands
of the Faculty Council,

and they decided
Finley didn't deserve it.

That doesn't make sense.

How can we afford not to
keep our best teachers here?

We're going to lose him
if he isn't reconsidered.

Brandon, Chancellor Arnold
recruited Finley himself,

but these things happen.
Now, let's stop...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happens?

He's not academic enough
for the other teachers?

He didn't publish
enough scholarly papers?

Well, in fact, the publishing
thing was a problem.

He was supposed to be working
on a book last summer

and instead started
with these seminars.

And the other teachers
became jealous

that he was making money?

No. l think they're concerned

that he's using his classroom
to develop new converts.

That's a little harsh,
don't you think?

Brandon, his teaching style
borders on the messianic.

Why? Because his
students like him?

Dean, when the chancellor
appointed me to the task force,

we made a commitment to upgrade
undergraduate education.

What happened to that?

Okay. l shouldn't say this, and
will deny it if it's repeated,

but last year,
we had complaints

from some parents
of Finley's students.

Some serious allegations

about conduct during
a weekend retreat.

What kind of allegations?

Look. l've said
too much already.

l'll tell you what.

Go meet the man, and see
for yourself what he's like,

and l'll work on it
from this end.

Maybe we can work something out
for Finley this semester.

Thanks. l appreciate it.

l take it this hotel's going
to be a step up

from that fleabag
l found you in, Jones.

Hey, look, l was trying
to keep the expenses down.

They come out of your cut,
not mine.

What a guy.

Of course l am.

From now on, for appearance's
sake, we go first-cabin.

We're a filthy rich couple

staying at the best resort
in Punta Brava,

just up the beach
from loveable Kitty and Karl.

Works for me.

Since an old Air Force buddy
runs this joint,

our credit's good.

Shoulders back, Jeeves!

They're expecting us.

Welcome to the Hotel Palmilla.

Senor and Senora Jones,
so good to see you.

Amigo! Marco!

Glad to see you.

Senorita.

l'll have your bags taken
to your suite

-at once.
-Oh, just get my

things; our manservant here

will take care of the lady's.

Excellente.
Then follow me. Vamos.

Oh, it's great,
it's really warm.

Look. Thanks for coming.

No problem. lt'll be fun.

l don't know about that,
but l do appreciate it.

l should have made you beg.

Valerie!

Cut the distractions.

You and l got a date with
the Cavendishes for cocktails.

Now, let's go.

l'm all yours.

Thank you.

Hey!

What am l supposed to do?

l would suggest you find
some very large checkers.

Okay, rehearsal's over.

We got a bogey at 12:00.

Now, when you catch
the mister's eye,

you just tease his socks off.

What about the wife?

She won't be around.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Oh, my God!

l am so sorry.

Jones, what did you just do?

l'm soaking wet!

Senora, please. There
is a bathroom. Come quickly.

Jonesy, do something.

l will, l will. Don't worry.

-l'll get a table, hon.
-Marcos.

Their bill is on me
tonight, all right?

Dinner, cocktails,
whatever.

l'm sorry.

Please, sit and be our guest.

That won't be necessary,
thank you.

Please. lt would make me feel
so much better.

What the hell?

You know, for such a young lady,

you really do have
impeccable manners.

Thank you.

l'm Val.

Karl.

And this

is my... Jonesy,

what are you anyway?

l'm a very clumsy
significant other.

J.J. Jones. Never too busy.

Karl Cavendish.

Karl... Karl...?

Cavendish.

Oh.

Jonesy, what is so funny?

Well, that's just

the perfect Punta Brava name,

isn't it? Hmm?

l mean,

this whole place traces back

-to the pirate...
-Thomas...

Thomas Cavendish. Right. Yeah.

Have a seat. Good.

Wow. So, um...

are you related?

No, no. l mean,
not that l would mind.

When your last name
is Cavendish,

you develop a taste
for outlaw history.

ln fact, l'm a...

big collector
of piratical material.

That's amazing.

Jonesy collects, too.

Well, just a little.

Of course, l did pick up the log
of Captain Edward Teach

at the auction.

-Blackbeard's log?
-Mm-hmm.

That must have cost you
a small fortune.

Use it or lose it.

Like my daddy used to say,

''You never see a Brinks truck
following a funeral.''

Daddy.

Oh, great.

Here we go.

Gracias, mi amiga.

Thank you, Jonesy.

Here you go, Karl.

Um... Listen, Karl,
why don't you come on the yacht

and go fishing with us?

l can show you
where your namesake

broadsided his first ship.

We're going
out tomorrow.

Please.
You have to come with us.

That would be great.

Excuse me, Karl.

We should get our
table for dinner.

No. Marcos,
another chair, please.

Kitty, honey, l want
you to meet Val

-and Jay.
-Hi.

We may be going fishing
with them tomorrow.

Really?

Hi.

Sorry.

This is very nice.

-Have a seat.
-Please.

Erica.

-Dylan.
-Don't look at me.

Don't talk to me; just keep

looking at the bottles

and pretend like
you're shopping.

Nobody can know
that l'm here, okay.

Do you understand that?

Uh-huh.

Dylan, l missed you so much.

l've missed you, too, kid.

l can't believe how
much you've grown

and how pretty you are.

So l wasn't pretty before?

You've always been pretty.

Take me with you, Dylan.

l hate it here.

Erica! Have you decided?

No.

Well, hurry. We must get
back to the butcher's.

You better go.

Will you come back to get me?

l promise.

Here.

l collect sea glass.

lt's my favorite one.

Why didn't you just walk
up to the front door,

ring the bell
and announce yourself?

'Cause l'm not
stupid, all right?

Look, l was watching Erica.

She left the Villa and went
into town-- nobody saw me.

Now you're lying. You said
the guard looked at you.

Oh, yeah, but he
didn't recognize me!

Come on! Look, the kid's
not gonna say a word.

Nothing has changed.

Just stick to
your own plan.

lt's working, isn't it?

Well, no thanks to you.

But come tomorrow,
when l sink the hook in...

they'll be accessing
the big bucks in no time.

Well, l tell you what--
not a minute too soon

'cause the sooner you're
out of my life, the better.

Oh, well, there's
gratitude for you, isn't it?

Gratitude! You want
to talk gratitude?!

Yeah, l want to talk
about gratitude!

All right,
when you deliver...!

Well, at least you've
got fine taste in women.

Val had Kevin on a
string all night.

Why, thank you, Jonesy.

l thought l was
quite convincing myself.

You know, l've
been thinking,

we haven't discussed the,
uh, sleeping arrangements.

So, l've got this king-size
bed in my master suite...

Yeah, well, try not
to get too lonely in it,

cause she's gonna sleep in here
in the servants' quarters.

Well, no harm in
asking, is there?

All right, Val, you
get some sleep tonight.

We're gonna be
heading for the dock

real early in the morning.

l'll be ready.

Good. Now, um...

While you're at it tonight,

try and find some
good places on her

so l can, uh, stick
the transmitter.

Yeah, l thought you were gonna

-use the flower in her hat.
-l am.

Geez. You've got
no sense of humor.

You all right?

Yeah.

Are you all right?

Well, it's not your
typical semester break.

You okay with everything
he has planned

for you and Kevin tomorrow?

Well, Kevin makes my skin crawl,

but l want to do this for you.

You've been incredible, Val.

ls there anything
l can do for you?

Just hold me.

Brandon.

He said he'd see you now.

You obviously
have some clout.

No. You do.

Thanks for squeezing me in.

l'm sorry you had
to wait at all.

lt's just, my students
always come first.

Nothing wrong with that.

But l figure the
student president

does deserve a few perks.

A cappuccino bar in the
hallway would be nice.

No wonder Kelly has such
nice things to say about you.

The feeling is mutual.

Good.

Then let's fast-forward
this, shall we?

l'm looking to you, Brandon,
to be a torch-bearer.

lt's obvious l'm going to
have to mobilize this campus

to get what l deserve.

l understand.
l actually have a few ideas

about how to re-approach
the Faculty Council.

l was speaking
with Dean Whitmore,

and l think there
may be some credence

in directly answering
your critics.

What are you talking about?

Did Whitmore bring up

those stupid, malicious
retreat allegations?

No.

l was talking
about your lack

of publishing
in academic journals.

You're lying.

He's already poisoned
your mind against me.

Did he describe my teachings
as ''messianic''? Did he?

Yeah. So what?

So what's next?!

My classes are
described as cults?

l'm crucified as a heretic?

You all make me sick!

Professor Finley, l came
here today as an ally.

No, no, no, no! You came here
on a fact-finding mission

to see if l'm as dangerous

as Chancellor Arnold
and all the others

would like to think.

Well, l'll tell you
something: l'm worse,

and if they want
a showdown with me,

l will bring this campus
to its knees.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Whoa!

Hey! Be careful
with that marlin!

lt took Karl all
morning to reel it in.

At least, l didn't lose
my fish, like some people.

Come to me.

Come to me.

Well, l think Jonesy
was a little too busy

talking business today.

More like plunder.

Whatever business
you all are in,

it sure seems like
a growth industry.

l told you, l'm a taxidermist.

Jonesy, would you spill it?

They're cool.

ln due time.

Listen, Captain Karl.

Let's get a picture of this.

Nobody else is
gonna believe it.

String it up, boys.

l think that's
enough fish stories.

We need to talk.

Really?

Really.

Thank you.

So?

Well, l think Jonesy found

-a new fishing partner.
-Hmm.

Next time, l may send may
daughter instead of me.

Erica will appreciate it more.

Wow. You and Karl
have a daughter.

That's wild.

Who does she look like more?

Well, not Karl.

lt's another father.

And she's adorable.

She has the best
qualities of each of us.

Wow. lt sounds like you
still like this guy.

l guess l always will.

Unfortunately, Jack died

a few years ago.

l'm sorry.

Come on everybody,
let's get in.

Picture time. Photo-op.

All right.

Okay. Sonriendo?

Fish!

He is a smuggler.

He just told me.

He uses stuffed trophy
fish like this as a cover.

And why would he
tell you that?

One pirate to another.

He's looking for
a money partner to expand.

Sorry about that.

So, uh,

where were we?

Just making dinner
reservations.

Only this time, it's
gonna be our treat.

-Oh, great.
-We want to learn

a little more
about taxidermy.

Well, you work it
out; l have to get

to the hotel health club.

For what they charge
for a massage,

l don't want to be late.

Oh. Sorry, Karl. Wait,
wait one second.

Uh, l'm gonna go with her

and make sure Marco
gives her the VlP discount

or else he's gonna lose
me as a friend. Okay?

Well, thank you.

l'll, uh, see you later.

So, l guess it's,
uh... just us.

Yeah.

Little ol' us.

You know, l can't
believe your house

is just right up
the beach.

Your place must be fabulous.

Yeah, it's kind of a
dream house, really.

Would you like to see it?

l'd love to.

l love the painting.

That's Anne Bonney,

swashbuckling queen
of the seas,

''as dangerous with her sword
as she was with her body.''

Sounds like a role model
for our generation.

And let me guess.

Behind the painting is ye
olde wall safe, right?

No. That's not my style.

l like the four firm walls
of a bank around my fortune.

Well, not Jonesy and l.

Too many clerks
knowing your business.

You're just doing the
wrong kind of banking.

l like to think of myself

as being on the cutting
edge of cyber-finance.

l think you've lost me.

l don't mean to brag, but l
could be sitting right here,

in the middle of paradise

doing all my banking

while enjoying a drink

and the company
of an irresistible woman.

You can?

Just by using a computer?

Along with a private
modem phone line.

For example, you and Jonesy

are looking
for a partner, right?

Maybe l need some extra cash
to prove that l'm serious.

l might just...

call up my account.

Where's your bank?

ln the Cayman lslands.

This will just...

take a second.

Yes. Yes!

You got the bank?

l got the bank.

l got the bank account.

And l'm now zeroing in...
on his password.

Jones, you're a
hell of a computer geek.

Wrong, wrong.
This isn't

a computer, man.

To me, this is video games, man.

This is, this is Pong,
man, this is Pac-Man,

this is Rebel Assault, man.

l'm just trying to beat
the machine, run up the score.

Okay, run up eight million.

Piece of cake--

thanks to our gal, Val.

How's she handling him?

She's gotta be out
of there already.

Erica knocked on
the bedroom door

and he had to send
her out the back.

She's probably coming up
the beach right now.

lt's all up to you.

Oh, damn it.

What?

Damn, damn. Oh!

What! Don't tell me
you lost it?! Come on!

Blink check.

Got you in a
blink, didn't l?

Stop messing around.

Come on! That's eight
million bucks!

Well, smile, partner.

The joke is
on Captain Karl.

Right now,
at this very moment,

there's seven and a half
million dollars

in an FBl account

with our names
attached to it-- in bold.

What do you mean?

Are you telling me you made
that transfer?

My grubby little
hands did it.

No, no, no applause.
No applause yet.

Listen, l want to be
packed up and ready to go

when Valerie walks
in, all right?

l want to make that 3:00 flight.

What about Erica?

What about her?

She's my sister.

l can't leave her down here.

Mission accomplished,
Ace, all right?

Dash for the cash.

We're not going
anywhere without her.

What's this ''we'' thing, huh?

Now, our deal strictly called
for us to go after the dough.

l got no plan on
how to snatch a kid.

Well, you're
the big professional.

lt shouldn't be
too difficult for you.

You know what, let me
tell you something.

ln my business, okay,
worse thing you can do

is listen to somebody like
you, and that's an amateur,

because you get dead.

All right? lt's over,
spud boy, the game's over.

Hey, it's not over
for me, okay?

All right, pay attention, okay.

l'm not staying.

l can't believe you
let him leave, Dylan!

Look, would you just
forget about it?

l mean, he's a mercenary.
l don't need that.

This is crazy.

You've got no plan.

l've got a pretty
good idea though.

l think we can pull it off.

Well, it better be quick,

because the Cavendishes
are coming over

to pick me and Jonesy
up for dinner.

Exactly, and that's
all the time l need

to get Erica out of that house,
but you've got to help me.

And what makes you think
you can get into that house?

Yeah, it's like a phone tree.

That way, we'll all be ready
when Finley needs us.

Lee, can l call you back?

Yeah, l'm thrilled
about it, too.

Bye.

Thrilled about what?

Finley hired me on
as his research assistant.

Great.

l consider it a miracle after
the meeting you had with him.

You heard about
that already, huh?

Everybody has.

What were you thinking?

What was l thinking?

Kelly, l got ambushed.

As soon as he heard that l
had talked to Dean Whitmore,

the guy went crazy.

Why would he do that?

Because he's paranoid.

l would be, too.

You all stabbed him
in the back.

Wait a minute, now
l'm a member of ''you all''?

Brandon, you are as much
a part of the C.U. establishment

as any other extern.

''Extern,''
what is that, Finley-speak?

Yeah, it's his word for people
who don't have a clue.

Now if you'll excuse me,
l have some phone calls to make.

Hold on a second.

You're the one that wanted
me to talk to the dean

in the first place.

You've gotta start taking
some responsibility here.

Brandon, l am taking
responsibility.

For the first time
since the fire,

thanks to Finley, l am feeling
strong and clear and unafraid.

You just don't get it.

You're right, l don't get it.

Erica, if that's
the best plie

you can do, l'm not
going to waste money

on any more lessons for you.

l don't want any lessons!

l don't want anything from you.

So, do l look all right?

Just who are you trying
to look all right for?

Sweetheart, why
don't you try

lightening up for
a change, all right?

You have a visitor at the door.
A Val Jones.

Send her in.

What's she doing here?

l have no idea.

You guys are going to think
l'm such an airhead.

Why? What happened?

Well, l went beachcombing

and lost track of time,

and l saw your place.

Well, that's no problem.

We were going
to pick you up anyway.

You're a beachcomber?

Yeah, and Jonesy hates it.

He doesn't understand how
anyone can spend so much time

looking for sea glass.

Oh. Well, l understand
the obsession.

Erica collects it, too.

Well, she can have mine.

l can?

Of course.

Hi, l'm Val.

Hi.

Well, while you two
discuss hobby hints,

we'll get our things
so we can be off.

Good. l'm starving.

Did you find
any good pieces?

Yes, actually, l did.

A beautiful blue one.

Val...

do you want to call Jonesy,
let him know where you are?

No. l'll just
run up and change.

He's a lot better
to deal with in person.

You listen to Ana
and Felipe, okay?

They have a nice
dinner for you.

Yes, Mom.

Good night.

Good night, sweetie.

Hola?

Ana, this is Mrs. Cavendish.

l want Erica

to take a shower before dinner.

A shower for Erica.

Sure, l will call Felipe
right away

so he can get it started.

l don't want to take a shower!

Put Erica on the phone please.

Dylan, watch out!

Dylan?!

What's going on
in there?

Ana? Felipe?

Stop the car.

Uh, what's the problem?

There was an intruder, senora.

A gringo but Felipe
has captured him.

Good. Lock Erica in her room.

We're coming right back.

What the hell
are you doing?

l thought l'd ask darling Val
about the Dylan in our house.

Dylan? l don't know any Dylan.

Ana, you can go.

Felipe, thank you.

Dylan McKay.

Long time no see.

Well, now we can stop
looking over our shoulders.

l knew you'd eventually
pay us a visit.

Hell, l would have
been here sooner,

But you guys, you didn't
leave a forwarding address.

You...

sit down.

Who's the girl?

Nice try.

But she has a surprisingly low

threshold for pain.

l'm sorry, Dylan.

All right, you guys
have had your fun.

What do you say we make a deal?

A deal?

l don't think you have
any money to make a deal.

And l don't think you want
to spend the rest of your life

running from the law, do you?

Yo, ho, hee,
the pirate life for me.

What are you guys
going to do to us?

That depends on
how you behave.

But l can tell you this.

People have disappeared
in Punta Brava.

Even beautiful women.

We have to get
something straight.

Valerie said that Jonesy
left Punta Brava.

Where did he go, Dylan?

He's right outside.

Now, don't get cute.

Dylan, just tell
them the truth.

That is the truth.

Stay down, l got him!

He's mine.

Oh, you're dead, McKay.

Stop it, man! Stop it!

That's not bad, kid.

Okay, let me go.

l'll cut you in on the money.

lt's in a Cayman lsland bank.

Honey, your horny husband lost
all that money this afternoon.

Good.

What the hell
took you so long?

Geez, what a day.

So, what made you
change your mind?

Well, l started thinking, uh,

how royally you were going
to screw everything up,

so l called my pal the federale

to see if he'd roll
in the troops.

Jonesy, what a
good friend you are.

Of course, it helped
that l told a little lie.

Well, how little?

l told him that
the Cavendishes

were plotting
to kidnap Erik Estrada.

Now, don't laugh,
don't laugh.

He's a big star down here.

Anyhow, everything's gonna be
all sorted out in the morning.

The FBl is gonna ask
for extradition

on the fraud charges.

And me, myself,

l am going to take
my federale pal

on a vacation to Las Vegas.

Hey, that comes out of your end.

But still, l mean,
you didn't have

to come yourself.

How was l to enjoy the spoils

if anything happened
to you, hmm?

Well, all l can say is

your timing was impeccable.

A long, slow kiss would
be thank you enough.

And a grab and a tickle, too.

Assuming McKay didn't mind...

McKay?

l thought they would kill you.

So did they.

l knew you'd find me.

Piece of cake.