Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 4, Episode 3 - The Little Fish - full transcript

Brandon, what did you do
to my room? Hey.

Hi, Bren.

Where are my things?

- What?
- How could you do this to me?

Do what?

What's going on here?

That's what I wanna know.

How did you get here?

I walked.

Now, can you please get
your stuff out of my room?

Brandon, are you all right?



Brenda?

Hi.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in school.

In Minnesota.

I dropped out.

What?

Can you believe this madhouse?

Yeah, the whole day started crazy.

- What happened?
- Brenda came home.

- What about Minnesota?
- You know as much as I do.

Oh, miss, I'm sorry.

The Communications Theory course
you've requested's already filled up.

But I'm a Journalism major.



You're also a freshman.

David, what happened?

I got shut out of practically
every course I wanted.

You got any advice?

Yeah, tell them
you're a sophomore.

Brenda's back?
But I talked to her there.

- She said everything was terrific.
- Well, apparently not.

Wow, I gotta tell Kelly.

Wait a second. Hold on.

When were we told
about a math placement test?

It was in your freshman
orientation packet.

If you'd read it.

Now, please, just pick an alternate
Geology course and we're finished.

Geology? Oh, joy.

Do you have anything
like Rocks for Jocks?

Thank you.

What do you mean you're not
going out for the newspaper?

I've done the newspaper.

The Condor is a real daily.
They're interviewing today.

- We should go there right now.
- Easy for you, Einstein.

You don't have to take
the math placement test like us.

- I'll wait for you.
- Really, you don't have to.

How can you just blow this off?
We were the best at the Blaze.

Andrea, in case you haven't noticed,
the freshmen around here

get the rubber end of the plunger,
if you know what I'm saying.

The Condor will just be grunt work.

Besides, I got a lot of things
on my mind right now.

- Yeah, like what?
- Like I have a major housing crisis.

I don't have a dorm, an apartment,
I don't have anything.

When I agreed to live at home,

Brenda was not sleeping
on my futon.

What's up with her? I mean,
did she really hate it there?

Your guess is as good as mine.

All I know is she showed up
at the foot of my bed this morning.

Listen, if you wanna go
be on The Condor, go for it.

Well, I thought I'd just give it
that old college try.

Good luck, chief.

You will never believe this.

Now I've gotta stand
in this huge fee-payment line.

Mel really messed up.

But after my math test, we can go
straight to the radio station.

Oh, I don't know.

Donna, if we're serious
about getting on-air positions here,

we have to kick in some doors.

But I have to call Brenda.

- Later.
- Later?

- Hey, what classes did you get?
- I didn't get any.

What were your backup choices?

There weren't any, Kel.

I couldn't stand in that line
for another second.

So you're not gonna register
at all?

I can't stand this place.

What do you want from me?
It's like a zoo in there. I'm leaving.

Dylan, you gotta give it a chance.

No, I don't.

I'll call you later.

- Hello.
- So it's true, you really are back.

- Yeah.
- What happened?

Look, let me call you later, okay?

Okay, are you all right?

Great. I just can't talk right now.

- Bye.
- Bye.

So where were we?

You were telling us why you left.

I thought I already did.

No, what you said was
it felt all wrong.

We were hoping
for a few specifics.

Honey, just talk to us.

I mean, it's very difficult for us
to understand what's going on here.

What's going on
is I didn't like my classes,

I didn't like the dorm,
I didn't like the people.

I didn't like anything.

Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how did you enjoy the play?

Brenda, if you'd just told us
there was a problem,

I'm sure we could have dealt
with it.

There was nothing you could do.

I thought that you guys would be
happy to see me.

Instead, you're giving me
the third degree.

I'm sorry, it's such a problem
for you.

Well, it's not just us.
I mean, what about Brandon?

Now with you home, going
to California University,

Brandon's talking
about moving out.

Who said anything
about me going to CU?

Wait a second,
what are you saying?

Well, I think the one thing
that's obvious

from this whole experience
is that I'm not meant for college.

Brenda, you're going to college.

Tell her that she's going
to college.

Honey, you just panicked.

Mom, you call it panic, I call it
getting in touch with myself.

Look, I knew I made a mistake.
If I'd waited another day,

you only would have gotten
75 percent of my tuition back.

- At least this way, you got 90.
- My bank account thanks you.

Brenda, you are going to school.
Somewhere.

I don't think so, Dad.

Now, I have to unpack.
Can we talk about this later?

Brenda, you made a commitment.

Grandma says I shouldn't be
afraid to change my mind.

To me, those are words
to live by.

I love your mother.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

Don't try to cheat off me.

I'm not trying to cheat off you.
I'm trying to cheat off him.

Why?

You know math isn't
my strong suit.

Steve, you're not being graded
on this.

It's a placement test.
Do you understand?

Yeah.

My name is Josh Richland.

I'm the managing editor
of The Condor, and I've been told

I have a low threshold
for stupidity, so listen carefully.

The Condor is committed
to professional standards

and professional ethics.

The weak need not apply.

Now, you may think
you're the hottest thing

to walk into this newsroom,

but to me, all you are
are freshmen.

Little fish in a relatively big pond.

The cards you are receiving contain
your audition writing assignments.

Your deadline is 5 p. m. Tomorrow.

What if we have placement tests
tomorrow and can't complete it?

What if a giant cow fell
on your flat head?

Figure it out.

Goodbye, people.

Excuse me, Mr. Richland?

Yeah, what is it?

I can't do
this particular assignment.

I think that it's a conflict
of interest.

Oh, please, it's just a test to see
what kind of a writer you are.

You are a writer, aren't you?

- I'd like to think so.
- Good.

It's so simple. It's so simple.

Bro, I hear you lost
your love shack.

Well, news travels fast
around here.

Maybe you should consider
a fraternity.

Steve, the return of Brenda Walsh
is still not enough

to drive me into a frat.

Wait a second,
this is not just any frat, okay?

This is Kappa Epsilon Gamma House.
The K.E.G. House.

I can make it happen for you.

Yeah, I know you can,
but I'm not an up-all-night,

drinking-beer-out-of-a-keg,
eating-cold-pizza-for-breakfast,

getting-hit-in-the-back-of-the-head-
with-a-cricket-bat guy.

No, you're just some kind
of soft-drink-sipping,

hockey-puck-haircut-having,
Bart Simpson look-alike.

Without a place to live, though.

Now, when we find
the station's program director,

remember, the first impression
may be the only chance we get.

- How's my hair look?
- Looks fine.

You didn't even look.

Donna, hair doesn't matter
in radio.

Oh, would you look at this place?
This is so cool.

Oh, I'm so nervous.

Well, just relax.
Let me do all the talking.

Mr. Program Director?

Don't touch that dial
because standing before you

is the number-one morning team
from WBH, Beverly Hills.

The double D's, David and Donna.

The rockingest jocks
with the most pulsating patter.

Or the most refined commentary
and classical stylings,

if that's what it takes.

Or we just won't talk at all,
we'll just play music and shut up.

You're looking
for the Financial Aid Department?

It's right around the corner.

Right around the corner.

Right around there.

I think the guy that we're
looking for is right in there.

Hey, thank you.

You're welcome.

Everybody's just worried
about you.

That's all anybody's been saying.

Yeah, but I put you all through
my whole Minnesota odyssey

and then I'm barely there
for two weeks.

Hey, we got a great
going-away party out of it.

Yeah.

And you're home now
and that's what matters.

Well, do you wanna come over?

You know, I can't now.
I'm going out.

Where you going?

To Dylan's.

Say hi for me.

Okay, I will.

- Kel.
- Oh, here come my roommates.

Well, we did it. We got a chance
for an on-air gig at KXCU.

Oh, and they're happy campers.

Howard, the program director,
is the coolest guy.

He said if we have
an air-check tape, he'll listen to it.

I didn't know what he meant,
but David has one.

Well, I'm a professional and
professionals have air-check tapes.

It's basically a reel
of all your best stuff.

Well, Brenda says congratulations.

- Let me talk to her.
- I'll see you later.

I'm gonna go make a sandwich.

David, don't you mess up
the kitchen.

Hi, what happened?

It just didn't work out.

I'll tell you when I see you.

You have to come down
and see our apartment,

which, God forbid,
should my Mom ask,

David does not live at, okay?

Donna, I thought you said
Kelly and Dylan broke up.

Oh, that. Well, I guess I was
a little premature.

Listen, you didn't come back
because of Dylan, did you?

Give me a break.
I may get a little dizzy,

but my life does not revolve
around Dylan McKay.

I was just checking.

Bye.

I still haven't heard one answer
that makes any sense.

What are you planning on doing
if you don't go to school?

I don't know. Maybe I'll travel.

Alone?

- You can go with me.
- Oh, no.

Going off for the summer,
that was one thing.

But the first semester,
that's another.

It doesn't have to be.

Dylan, I got my psych class.

I got Art History with Donna.
I got an apartment.

I'm actually excited
about being at CU with my friends.

It's gonna be a great year.

Why can't you go along
with the program?

The program sucks, Kel.

And I'd rather not be having
this discussion right now.

Fine. You know,
this is Europe all over again.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry I screwed up
your housing plans.

Are you still gonna move out?

I don't know.

Well, I hope you don't.

The last thing I want
is for you to be mad at me.

I'm not mad.

Yes, you are,
you're just pretending not to be

because you are so damn decent.

Well, one of us has to be.

Okay, I deserved that.

All right, Bren.

What happened?

No, it'll just sound
like some sappy clich? to you.

Try me.

Well, I was homesick
after 24 hours there.

I started thinking of September
in California.

Warm Santa Ana winds,
soft nights.

California dreaming
on such a winter's day?

Something like that.

Remember when people used to
ask us where we were from

and we'd say Minnesota?

I guess we're not
from Minnesota anymore.

Well, you're home. Now what?

I don't know. I mean,
I just feel so incredibly out of it.

You're not the only one.

I got a Sociology classroom the size
of the Universal Amphitheater.

And I swear, there are 100 guys
on campus already

who do what I do
as well as I do it.

If I can even remember
what it is that I do.

- You can handle it.
- I don't think so.

I swear, if I don't figure out
where I fit in

at this school pretty soon,
I might just...

You might what? Just drop out?

Unfortunately, I'm not as theatrical
as you are, Bren.

So looks like
we'll be sharing a bathroom

in our parents' house
for the rest of our lives.

Oh, I see you finally decided
to get up.

Mom, it's 8:15 in the morning.

I'm going to go help out
in the recycling co-op.

So if you want breakfast,
you'll have to get it yourself.

That's fine. I'll just swing by
the Peach Pit,

get something to eat there.

Is that what you're planning
on doing with your life?

- Hanging out at the Peach Pit?
- What are you so tense about?

Brenda, just because I let your father
do all the talking yesterday,

doesn't mean
that I don't fully agree with him.

You're very bright.

But it can be a pretty cruel world
out there

without a higher education.

Oh, honey, I just don't think
you gave it a chance.

- Mom...
- Look, you don't have to say anything.

Just think about it for a few days.

Relax, clear your head.

Look, you can always go back
to school next week, right?

Yes, Mom.

Meaning no.

Can't we just go back to the part
where I don't have to say anything?

Oh, Nadene.

- There you go, Dylan.
- Hey.

Breakfast special
just as you like it.

Nat, I didn't order any home fries.

I did order wheat toast
and that's white bread.

I have Willie out sick
and Nadene just nuked the coffee.

Just push the fries off of the plate
and I owe you some fruit, okay?

What about the toast?

What's wrong
with the white bread?

Builds bodies 12 ways.

Oh, Nat, your coffee's killing me.

- Hey.
- Brenda.

How's it going?

Don't ask.
What are you doing here?

- Don't ask.
- I won't.

If you tell your brother
how much I miss him,

maybe he'll take pity on me.

- Doubt it.
- Nice to have you home.

Hey, remember me?

Vaguely, yes. How are you?

I'm okay. Aren't you supposed
to be in school or something?

Couldn't I ask you
the same question?

- I'm glad you didn't.
- I'm sorry you did.

Mind if I join you?

Have a seat.
One condition, no college talk.

Well, that's an easy promise
to make.

All right. Now, all we need's
some service.

Well, I'm in no hurry.

What took you so long?

Bookstore was packed.
Sorry, man.

Spoke to the president
of the K.E.G. House.

Stop the bombing, bro.

Brandon, in case you haven't
noticed, we are sheep here.

There's 8,000 students
trying to make their mark.

Do you wanna get lost
in the shuffle,

or would you like the comfort
of a select brotherhood

that knows the lay of the land?

Brandon, I'm asking you to come
this afternoon

just to see a little preview
of the house.

Why would I wanna be a K.E. G?

For the same reason
everyone wants to be.

You meet people,
you make connections,

you meet women,
you secure liquor.

Gonna have to do
a lot better than that, bro.

It's Party, U.S.A.
Everybody knows this.

It's the playpen
of the Western world.

Steve, I understand
you have a legacy here,

that your father was part
of the frats.

So if you want it, go for it.
But leave me out of it.

What runway are you on?

This has nothing to do with me,
it has to do with us.

Don't you remember?
Birth to Earth...

- Womb to tomb, I got it, I got it.
All right, I'll go.

I knew you'd crumble.

Hey, did you get a message
to see your counselor?

Nope.

My guy wants to see me
about the math tests.

- It can't be good.
- Don't worry about it, Steve.

They can't kick you out of college
for failing a placement test.

No, but can they kick you out
for cheating on one?

Then, right after
the science placement test,

I have to go back
to the fee-payment people

and work out
this whole money situation.

David, don't worry.

I'm capable of getting
the air-check tape to the station.

It's gotta be there by 2:00 sharp.
Are you sure you can do it?

Would you please relax?
I will make sure, okay?

Okay.

Now, it's going right in the glove
compartment for safekeeping.

So concentrate
and do well on your test.

Thanks.

And remember,
it's only our future.

I wanna kill him.

What's wrong?

I just keep hoping Dylan woke up
on the right side of the bed

and decided not to drop out.

Well, he's probably sleeping in.
Keeping that bed warm for you.

So there I was
in the middle of the night

crashing in the dorm hallway
because my roommate had decided

that her boyfriend should stay
in our room.

And I'm thinking, who needs this?

Besides, the classes I got
were so incredibly boring.

Yeah, it's all so lame.

Yeah, but every single time
I try and explain it to my parents,

they just don't get it.

Same with Kelly.

It's like there's only one track,
one goal, one destination.

It's just not true.

Absolutely. I mean,
there are other choices.

Right.

What are you gonna do today?

- Nothing, what are you doing?
- Nothing.

We could do it together.

Who's there?

- Surprise.
- Surprise.

Hi, welcome to Casa Andrea.

- Hello.
- Hello.

For you, we found
a great little caf? right on campus.

Oh, thanks.

Croissants?

Apricot, cheese, chocolate chip.
You guys, how could you do this?

Well, because we love you.

And we want you to get fat,
not us.

- Thanks.
- Oh, this place is fabulous.

I know. I feel so guilty.

All the other freshmen
have rooms the size of my desk.

Well, California University had to do
something to snatch you from Yale.

Where I'm sure they would not
have gotten me a computer.

Did you see this?

Oh, my God.
They gave you a laser printer too.

Don't let my mother see this,

she'll wonder why I didn't stay
in the dorms.

Well, just tell her they didn't have
the right necessities.

Like David.

Do I smell croissants
from Cafe Delicious?

You certainly do.

Any chance I can buy one?

How about on the house?

Thanks.

Hi, I'm Andrea Zuckerman.

And this is Donna Martin
and Kelly Taylor.

Hi. Dan Rubin.

So you all live here?

No, actually, I do. What about you?

- Fellow freshman?
- Perpetual grad student.

I'm also the dorm's
resident advisor.

Then it really is
a pleasure to meet you.

Likewise.

Well, how about an apricot?

I'm a chocolate chip kind of guy.

Better you than me.

Thanks. Well, I'll see you
around, Andrea.

Have a good day, ladies.

An RA with a sweet tooth.

Interesting. Delicious.

Stop.

Hey, we're gonna go check out
the bookstore. Wanna come?

I'd love to, but I have to go
do this restaurant review

for the newspaper.

Can you believe
that he's a graduate student?

Andrea.

It's not our coffee.

It's the cream, it went sour.

Here, have another cup.
Use these packets.

Ron, take all the creamers
off the table.

And then go check
the fridge, okay?

Hey, Nat.

Place looks busy,
must be the food.

Here I was hoping for a booth.

I wanna get through lunch without
the Board of Health closing me down.

You want your usual?

No, I think I'm gonna look
at a menu.

Well. Oh, sir, don't use that.

If you're gonna order,
better do it now.

I think I'll start
with the lobster bisque and then...

You don't want the bisque.

It's milk-based,
and you could get food poisoning.

- Have the vegetable soup.
- Okay.

And then I'll have
the Catalina Salad

with the sirloin tips rolled in a pita,
with spicy fries and...

Andrea, you always have
the megaburger or the tuna melt.

Why are you getting creative
on me now?

Oh, I...

Just stay calm.

Well, the ambience is wonderful.

- Oh, I told you not to park here.
- What?

I wanted to be near the radio station.
Besides, it was a good spot.

Oh, that's why
it's faculty parking only.

It's hot in here.

Roll down the window.

- Oh, my God.
- Okay.

It's hot.

What is that smell?

It's all right. It's fine.

I'm sure David has another copy.

No, I don't have another copy.
How could you be so stupid?

David. I don't believe this.

I don't believe this either.

She ruined the tape by melting it.
How do you melt a tape?

It wasn't my fault.

Then whose fault was it, Donna?

Oh, let me guess,
Bill Clinton, right?

Hey, let's blame it on Bill.
Everybody else does.

Well, don't you have
another air-check tape?

No, Donna, that's it.
That's the only one I had.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

You know, maybe you're not quite

as professional as you thought
you were.

Let's leave.

Europe has sort
of a timeless quality to it.

I know what you mean.

When I was there, I got really
caught up in the Old World mystique.

- It really sort of takes you over.
- Yeah.

I know. I wanted to write poetry,
the great novel.

- Did you?
- No, I just bummed around.

But I got the feeling, you know,
walking through

all those old villages,
that every stone I stepped on

could have been stepped on
by Rimbaud or Baudelaire.

Because they were bums too,
you know.

They know you gotta live it
before you can write it.

You're the only guy I know

who knows who Rimbaud
and Baudelaire are.

Who?

Well, I loved Paris.

It must be incredible when
you're there with someone you love.

I don't know about that.

I knew we were in trouble
on the Left Bank.

Kelly had dragged me into, like,
the 20th shoe store of the day

and I just snuck out
to find Balzac's house.

I went to Balzac's house.

How long did it take you
to find it?

I will never tell.

Well, the looking's the fun part.

There's not much to it
once you get there.

You know,
I really missed you, Dylan.

I missed you too, Bren.

I called you in Minnesota
to wish you good luck.

I could have used it.

Well, this is it.
You wanna keep walking?

What, right off the pier?

Yeah, maybe.

What's the alternatives?

I'm thinking.

Look out now.

So, what do you think?

Go fish?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Donna.
- David, it was an accident.

It could have happened
to anyone.

Donna, please.

You have no idea
how embarrassing this is for me.

And for me.

Can I please explain
what happened?

No, not if you're gonna sit there
and blame me.

Donna, you're making it worse.

Excuse me, I have the right
to tell my side of the story.

It wasn't like I had any idea
what was gonna happen.

Like there was a warning label
that says,

"If left in sun, tape will melt. "

I mean, I would never do that
with Brie cheese.

- Because Brie has a label.
- Donna.

We're trying to get
another chance to audition.

Not argue whether audio tape
has any similarity to Brie,

which it doesn't.

Oh, please, like you're
the big cheese expert?

Okay, you know what,
maybe not even Brie.

Maybe like a semi-soft Cambert
left on a buffet.

- A Camembert.
- Whatever.

Or a Gorgonzola, which gets
really sweaty when left in the heat.

Like someone else that I know.

I mean, a proper label indicating
a product be stored in a cool place

is not too much to ask, is it?

It was an honest mistake.

It's a total tank.

Listen, don't pay any attention
to her, okay?

I'm sorry,
this will never happen again.

I like you guys.

"Therefore, it is very probable
you'll receive your food semi-warm.

In conclusion, despite it's pleasant
setting and try-to-please style,

food lovers beware.

The Peach Pit is more
of a pit than a peach"?

What's the matter with you?

Brandon, you don't know
this Richland character.

I mean, he eats freshmen alive.

He's not gonna care
that Nat and I are buddies.

Hey, do what you gotta do.

- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing's wrong.

But maybe now, you see why
I didn't wanna go out for the paper.

Wait a minute, you're not gonna
go to the Condor office with me?

- Please, show some support.
- No, I'm not going.

I told Steve that I'd go
on this tour with him

of Kappa Epsilon Gamma House.

Wait a minute, you a K.E. G?

Believe me, I don't know what's
going on with me at this school.

Don't worry about it.

None of us know what's going on.

But the writing style's okay?

The writing style's fine.

I just wish, for Nat's sake,
you would have written a puff piece

instead of a hatchet job.

Look, Brandon,
I have to approach this

as an objective journalist, okay?

I mean, it's a matter
of professional integrity,

- you understand that.
- Andrea, I understand.

And I understand how much
you wanna be on The Condor,

but what about your integrity?

This from a man who's considering
joining the animal house on campus.

And we believe
that a membership in K.E.G.

Is an outstanding opportunity.

Our goal is to organize
our brothers' social lives

in order to promote
their educational objectives.

It's an experience
in living together,

sharing maintenance,

self government,
personal relations,

so that the entire
community benefits

both socially and intellectually.

Don't believe a word of that.

Before we continue,
why don't I shut up?

You get something to drink,
then we'll go inside.

Dixon.

Steve Sanders.

I understand you're
a good athlete, Sanders.

Thanks. We should play a little
one-on-one sometime.

Anytime. We got softball,
basketball, flag football,

even hockey.

- Hockey?
- This guy's a killer.

- Really?
- Well, I can play.

No, my man's just being modest,
believe me.

He grew up in Minnesota.

Son, that's practically Canada.

Well, there's nine months of winter
and three months of bad skating.

- All right, we'll talk.
- All right.

Okay, everyone,
when you follow Tom in,

please note the canisters
underneath the stairs.

If you become a brother here,

you'll become very familiar
with them.

Is that where the K.E.G.'s
keep the kegs?

No, those are the recycling bins.

Clothing, books,
CD's that aren't wanted

are collected and appreciated
by the charity sponsor store

that we have in South Central.

Yes, gentlemen,
K.E.G. Really cares.

I wonder when this fraternity
became so politically correct.

Oh, I'm impressed, Sanders.

All right, bro, I gotta take off.

Gotta see my counselor about that
test, so hang in with this, okay?

You got it.

What's up, guys?

Now, that's more like it.

All right, you little...

Hey, hey, all right, I got you.

Okay.

Oh, you slippery little sucker.

Allow me, I am from the land
of 10,000 lakes.

That's right.

Okay, the trick is to get the hook in
and around in one clean motion.

- Bren?
- Did I hook you?

Just my sweatshirt.

Don't move.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

I've seen that look before.

It's the same one you have.

We can't go down
this road again.

Why not?

I think because I don't want to ruin
this feeling that's between us now.

Yeah, you're right.

We're probably better off
as just friends.

Close friends.

The closest.

Mr. Richland.

If it's about the freshmen reviews,
the deadline hasn't changed.

It's 5:00. You've still got
a couple hours to do it.

- I've done it.
- Good.

Drop it in the hopper
and we'll get back to you.

Well, I thought
that I'd come here in person

to tell you
that I won't be handing it in.

- What?
- Well, I've thought about it

and I've come to the conclusion

that I'm not cut out
to be a little fish.

Look, I know
who you are, Zuckerman.

You did great work on the Blaze.

We definitely want you here,
so relax.

Well, maybe I don't want it.

I don't think that I have that killer
instinct to be a part of The Condor.

Okay, I hear you.

But let me give you some advice.

If you're not on the newspaper,
there's not much point

in being a Journalism major.

Or there's always premed.

Mr. Sanders,
as freshman counselor,

it's my job to keep you
on the educational path

that your aptitude deserves.

Well, after reviewing
your math placement test,

I'm recommending...

Here it comes, I'm dead meat.

...that you be enrolled in
our Advanced Astrophysics Program.

- Astrophysics?
- It's a junior elective.

And from it, a number
of our graduates

have gone on directly to NASA.

I just feel badly that someone
as gifted as yourself

had to take the test
in the first place.

No, don't. It's no big deal.

Astrophysics, huh?

Along with my other
required math courses?

Oh, no, there's no need to bore you
with what you already know.

You'll never have to take them
or the sophomore ones either.

This way, you'll be free
for more electives.

Oh, I see.

Yes, well, I'm honored.

But I'm just wondering
if this is really in my best interest.

- What do you mean?
- Well, Mr. Bardwell,

it's obvious I'm already so far
ahead of my peers in math,

I was thinking
maybe now is the time

to develop my other aptitudes.

Maybe a folklore course
or History of Film.

You see, I've always felt
that it's the whole man

that benefits the most
in the long run.

Don't you?

This is so refreshing, Steve.

Most prodigies are in such
a hurry to succeed,

they don't take the time
to smell the roses.

History of Film
would be an excellent idea.

Hey, excuse me. Hi.

- Aren't you Brandon Walsh?
- Yeah.

I'm Josh Richland.

I'm managing editor
of The Condor.

I was hoping you'd stop by.

Yeah, listen, man, I really have
no interest in working on the paper.

That's good, because I got
something else to talk about.

What's that?

How'd you like to run
for student senate

as freshman representative
of the Progressive Party?

Progressive Party?

Why me?

Aren't you the Brandon Walsh
who led 600 students

against the school board
and shut down West Beverly High?

- Yeah.
- Welcome to California University.

How you doing?

At losing bait, great.
At catching fish, lousy.

You got a nibble, though.

Yeah, well, we should have
just have rented some scuba gear,

swam with a huge school of fish.

Couldn't miss with that.

It reminds me of a joke my dad
used to tell me, it cracked me up.

No doubt a blond joke.

No.

What do you call
the dumbest fish in school?

Dinner.

Get it? Dinner, school, fish, dumb?

- I get it.
- So why aren't you laughing, Bren?

Because that would make us
dumber than the dumbest fish.

Right, a couple of uneducated
mackerel. Hey, Bren.

Flounders without a college degree.

- There you go. Reel it, come on.
- Hey, he's fighting.

Crank it, Bren, here you go.
All right.

Hey.

Very good.

Would you like it?

No, too small.
Needs time to grow.

Yeah, he's right, Bren.
Throw it back.

All right, little fish,
be lucky you're not dinner.

Now go join your friends.

You done?

Yeah.

It was a great idea. A great day.

It's too bad we can't spend
our whole lives fishing, though.

Especially not a guy who reads
Baudelaire and Rimbaud.

Or a girl who goes out of her way
to find Balzac's house.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

Hey, this is Dylan.
You know the drill.

Dylan, if you're there, pick up.

I'm sorry I got so mad at you.

- Are you there?
- Kel.

Where have you guys been?

I thought I lost my roommates
and my boyfriend.

We were celebrating.

You're looking at the only
two freshmen DJs on KXCU.

We went to explain to the program
director, he hired us on the spot.

- He loved our chemistry.
- Our hostility.

We're working six days a week
and we'll be on from 2 to 6.

That's great.
Everybody will be tuned in.

Well, it's not that 2 to 6.

What 2 to 6?

Two to 6 a. M?

Well, it's still radio.

I know, but why did Howie
have to call it the graveyard shift?

Probably because the only people
listening at that hour are zombies.

Oh, thank you.

David, if you use the kitchen
again, I'm gonna...

Hi.

Having a bubble bath?

I'm glad to see you.

You're not too hard
on the eyes either.

So where have you been?
I left a message for you.

Well, I've been fishing all day
with Brenda. It was pretty fun.

Hey, Kel, we're just friends,
remember?

Right.

So you still mad at me?

I'm going back
to campus tomorrow.

- You are?
- Yeah.

I figure with late registration
and everything, I could still get in.

You're gonna love it, Dylan.

What do you call
the dumbest fish in school?

You.

Brenda.

Come downstairs.

We're in the kitchen, honey.

Brenda has something to tell you.

Well, it can wait.

Because I have something to say.

All right, you don't wanna go
to school, so be it.

But you will get a job
and you will pay rent.

At least that'll help cover
some of Brandon's costs

- when he moves out.
- Jim.

No, no, no, don't get me wrong.

I don't want Brenda to think
this is some kind of punishment.

Because the fact is
she has a lot of talent.

If she sticks with her acting,
maybe she'll make it big someday,

and I can retire a lot earlier.

Dad, I hate to crimp
your leisure plans,

but I'm going back to school
at California University.

And I'm in no rush to move out.

Did I miss something here?

Brenda needs to grow before
charging into the cruel world,

and she wants to go
to school with her friends.

I shouldn't be afraid
to change my mind, should I?

God bless your mother.