Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 4, Episode 20 - Scared Very Straight - full transcript

How can Dylan stand living here
without a washing machine?

I think he has a thing for the girl
at the Fluff 'N Fold.

Man, if I knew you were doing
laundry in the bathroom,

I'd have brought fabric softener.

I guess you wanna
take a shower, huh?

Whatever gave you
that impression, Kel?

Is this a one-size-fits-all
kind of garment or what?

Dylan.

All right, I'll wait till you're done.

But what do you think
the chances are of the three of us

jumping into that shower
and conserving some serious water?



I have a perfectly good room
back at the beach apartment.

- Maybe I should...
- No, you shouldn't.

Look, Kel, can't you give David
a break and just bury the hatchet?

Is that what you think this is?
Some sort of family feud?

Look, all I know is that if you
keep avoiding each other

you're never gonna work this out.

I'm not avoiding him.

Donna, you just don't get it.
I care about him too.

I wanna see him get better.

He is better. I believe him.

Then you're being a fool.

Yeah, she's right, Donna.
David's just gonna have to tough it out.

No one can convince him
he's got a problem.

He's gonna have to come
to that realization himself.



Well, then, how are we gonna
know when he's well?

When he stops taking drugs
and starts taking responsibility.

Listen, Dad, I don't know
what Kelly told you,

but she completely overreacted.

It's not like I'm an addict.

What's it gonna take for you
to trust me again?

You want me to move in so you can
give me a drug test every morning?

I'm gonna talk to your therapist.

And I'm gonna take
a good hard look for myself.

And if I don't like
what I see by next week,

I'm pulling you out of school
and you're going into rehab.

So, what about the rent?

I'll give you the money.

But I'm making the check out
directly to your landlord.

Thanks.

How much is it?

Six hundred and twenty.

You live in the high-rent district.

I live on the beach, what can I say?

Just say you'll never do drugs again.

It's a deal.

Well, we set the date
for the wedding.

Oh, that's great. When?

Monday.

Valentine's Day? That's so romantic.

Wow, you guys aren't
wasting any time.

Well, we can't afford to.

So where's this shindig
gonna take place?

We didn't want a big production,
so we're gonna go down to City Hall.

Andrea, it's your wedding.
Throw a party, do something.

Well, without my parents' blessing,
my heart's not in it.

Well, it's not because
Jesse's Latino, is it?

No, they think
I'm just throwing my life away.

They don't want anything
to do with it.

That's terrible.

At least you have your grandmother.

Yeah, well,
we're gonna tell her tonight.

I'm not sure
she's gonna take it any better.

Well, we're all happy for you.

Thanks, Donna.
I'm glad somebody is.

Here's the problem, you can't
stack boxes in front of the vent.

- I told Suzanne.
- Well, tell her again.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you look great.

- Hey.
- Hi, sweetheart, how are you?

We didn't think we'd see you here
for another week.

Well, I wouldn't be here at all
if it wasn't for my new partner.

As new partner, does that mean I get
a discount on my megaburgers, Nat?

No.

I wanna renegotiate then.

Hey, Brando, get over here.
We can't have a reunion without you.

Nat, you look like a new man.
Welcome back.

Thanks, it's because
I got a million-dollar ticker.

And a million-dollar partner.

So you're sure
I can't get you something?

No, thank you, Grandma,
we're okay.

Okay.

You said you had
an important matter to discuss.

It certainly looks important.
Two serious faces like that.

Jesse's asked me to marry him.

And what did you say?

I said yes.

Of course you did,
because you're pregnant.

- Good guess, huh?
- Yeah.

So how are Kenny and Gail
taking this news?

Well, they're not exactly thrilled.

Surprise, surprise.

Grandma, we were...

We were hoping
to get your blessing.

I know you didn't approve
of Dad's marrying out of the faith.

Approve? What's to approve?

Has Andrea told you about what
happened to our family in Europe?

About the Holocaust?

Yes. Yes, she did.

I know you're a very smart
young man,

but, believe me,
from something like that, you learn.

And the two things I learned
are these:

First, people who ignore
the mistakes of the past

are doomed to repeat them.

Grandma, it's not a mistake.

Let me finish.

The second thing I learned
is that, in this life,

you'd better take your blessings
where you find them.

And I think you two
have found them.

So where are we having
your wedding shower?

I don't know,
I hadn't thought about it.

Then we'll have it here.

And as for your parents,
let me talk to them.

Not that they ever listen
to what I have to say.

I love you, Grandma. Thank you.

Hey, Donna,
what are you doing here?

Well, this is my apartment.

Yeah, well, are you sure
you should be here?

I mean, don't you need permission
from Kelly or something?

Look, David,
she's just worried about you.

So am I.
That's why we did what we did.

Well, you guys can stop worrying.

It was just a bad
couple of weeks, that's all.

So you aren't doing
that stuff anymore?

I'm trying.

And I'm keeping it together
so far, really.

Good.

Well, I just came to get my dress for
the Valentine's Day dance tomorrow.

- Do you wanna go?
- Well, what about Kelly?

No, she already has a date.

Very funny.

So you'll come?

Yeah, I'll be there.

Great.

Hey, Donna. How are you?

I'm fine, Mr. Pitts.

David tells me
you and Kelly were out of town.

So how was your trip?

It was fine, thanks.

- Well, I'll see you later.
- Great.

So, David...

Don't worry, Mr. Pitts,
I have the rent.

Well, great.
I knew you'd come through.

I haven't rented to a deadbeat yet.

Listen, my dad made it out
for the wrong amount.

What should I do?

It's your dad's check?

Yeah.

In that case, here's a hundred.

Twenty, 40 and 50, we're even.

- Great, thanks.
- No problem, kid.

Well, listen to this,
tell me what you think.

"Dear Stuart, in the last four weeks,

I've discovered
what your promises are worth.

I suppose you think
you can come back here,

spend a lot of money on me, and
everything will be back the way it was.

Well, think again, Stewie.
I am not for sale. "

What do you think?

- It's quite a Valentine.
- Well, he deserves it, doesn't he?

I don't know, Bren.
Maybe the guy just got busy.

I mean, he did say he was gonna be
taking over that big project

down in Texas for his father.

Brandon, does the old adage
"out of sight, out of mind"

mean anything to you?

I don't know, Bren.
First Dylan, and now Stuart.

I think I'm seeing
a pattern forming here.

Who's next for you,
the sultan of Brunei?

This is about Dylan
buying the Pit, isn't it?

You know, the Pit used to be
like home to me.

And now every time I go in there,
I feel like a guest.

Maybe it's time to find
someplace new to hang out.

Like where?

I don't know.
Someplace a little spicier.

Brandon, are you making a habit
of dropping by?

I hope so.

Thanks.

Well, the new place looks great.

I see you already have
your masks prominently displayed.

Friends usually call
before they come over.

Why? You busy?

Just preparing a lesson
on the origins of Valentine's Day.

Well, you could practice it on me
if you want.

You know, we tried this
when I was married,

and you had about
a million other reasons

why we were
totally unsuitable together.

Well, what did I know?
I was just a kid then.

Brandon, anything more
than a friendship

might be too much for me
to handle right now.

Well, what about the other night?

That was the other night.

Please, I'm just trying
to be rational for a change.

Yeah, me too, but I can't stop
thinking about you, Lucinda.

Oh, Brandon, don't say that.

Why?

Because you feel the same way?

We can't do this.

Then tell me you want me to leave.

We're gonna be sorry.

We'll get over it.

Valentine's Day has its origin in
the Roman festival of the Lupercalia.

Holy men in wolf masks
would ceremonially beat

all the young virgins
with thongs of goat hide

in order to purify them
and make them fertile.

No wonder Rome fell.

Donna, today our Valentine customs
aren't that much different.

I mean, instead of goat hide,
men are bludgeoning women

with perfume, flowers
and, of course, chocolate.

Well, don't forget
the big bludgeon, jewelry.

My ex-fianc? really knew
how to wield that diamond club.

Well, we didn't hear you
complaining.

I am now.

Wasn't romance ever a component
of Valentine's Day?

Historically, no.

The goal of the day
was to mollify the fear

that men had of women's sexuality.

Let's see how this tracks
on our time line.

You know, I think she has
a one-track mind.

She does not.
She's a woman of principle.

Yeah, she's the type of woman
who talks about principle,

and then runs away
with your boyfriend.

- Which happened to coincide with the
Roman fertility festival, the Lupercalia.

- What's up, Happy Jack?
- It's the DJ man.

How you doing, buddy?
Let's do this.

Cool. You know, I really appreciate
this intro to the man.

No problem, man, he's always
looking for good customers.

But, listen,
I wanna warn you ahead of time.

- These guys are into needles.
- Really?

Yeah, but you can just say no.
I did, and they were pretty cool with it.

Cool.

Andy, it's me, Silver.
And I brought a friend.

Come on in and beat the day.

- Dude, you gotta hang out more.
- Thanks, brother.

That's what I'm here for.

You're home.

Hi, honey. How was work?

Well, I think I invented
a new tax loophole.

Declare yourself a hostage
and deduct the ransom.

Honey, I'm so proud of you.

Only three?

Yeah, Brandon's having dinner
with Andrea and Jesse.

Has Brenda sent her
love letter to Stuart yet?

Honey, we should really
tell her what's happening.

Why?

After what she put us through
with that stupid Vegas elopement,

we deserve a little payback.

- Hello.
- Hey.

We're gonna be
eating shortly, honey.

I'll be right back.
I just wanna hit the post office.

The letter is finally done.

I think it has just the right balance
of disdain and contempt.

- Really?
- Yes.

It now ends,

"Stuart, your father was right.
You are a bum.

Happy Valentine's Day. "

- That should send a message.
- I think so.

Honey, maybe you should...

You know, Cindy, if she wants him
to get the letter by Monday,

she should really get it
in the mail today.

My thought exactly.

Jim, this is mean.

No, it's not.

I think it's just the right balance
of disdain and contempt.

Dig in.

What is it?

Yeah, it's a Mexican specialty,
Mole poblano.

That's chicken
with spicy chocolate sauce.

You really are pregnant, aren't you?

Yeah.

You know, Brandon,

you're the closest thing
Andrea has to a brother.

Well, I guess that makes you
my brother-in-law, doesn't it?

Something like that, yeah.

Well, that's why we wanted
to ask you a favor.

Shoot.

Brandon, would you give me away?

Isn't that something
your father's supposed to do?

Yeah, but it doesn't look like
it's gonna work out that way.

I'm sorry.

So will you do it?

Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, I'd be honored.

Of course I'll do it.

- Thanks, man.
- You got it.

Thank you.

But there's one more thing.

We're getting married at city hall,
but wanted to have a party afterwards.

And you wanna have it at my house.
No problem, Cindy loves weddings.

Well, not really.
Well, we didn't want anything fancy.

And you know
your mom would go overboard.

We were thinking at the Peach Pit.

The Peach Pit
for a wedding reception?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Will you ask Nat for us?

You know, that's really not
my department anymore.

You should be talking to Dylan.

Andrea, we're asking Brandon
to do too much already.

- I'll talk to Dylan.
- Okay.

You know what, guys,
I'll talk to Dylan for you.

After all, I am
the father of the bride, right?

Father-to-be with father of the bride.

Eat, eat.

David. Wait, you're supposed
to wear something with a heart.

Well, I didn't have anything.

No fear.
I stopped at the campus store.

- Hey, how's it going?
- Hi.

Donna, that's Jack.
He's coming to the party with us.

- David, it's a Valentine's dance.
- So?

So it's supposed to be romantic.
What's he doing here?

Well, he just stopped by and he
doesn't have anything to do tonight.

Besides, he's a really
talented musician.

We're thinking of starting a band.

He looks pretty out of it.

Would you stop being so judgmental?
We're in college now.

Not everyone we meet
is gonna be from Beverly Hills.

- You got a cigarette?
- No.

No worries. We can stop on the way.
You guys ready to go?

- Yeah, let's get out of here.
- Cool.

- Come on, Donna.
- Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, what's this?
No heart costumes?

- I wear my heart on my sleeve.
- No heart.

Yeah, come on,
you nasty little fun tart, let's dance.

That's my fun tart, all right?

So you heard about
Andrea's wedding?

Yeah, city hall, right?

Yeah, and then she wants
to have the reception at the Peach Pit.

Cool.

Yeah, I think it'll be all right with Nat.
What do you think?

How should I know?
You're his partner.

Who is that growth
attached to David Silver?

One of his new best friends,
probably.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hello.
- Oh, let me guess.

You're the aorta
and you're the left ventricle.

Steve Sanders, this is Jack Dornan.

- How's it going?
- Howdy.

Hey, either of you guys got a cigarette?
I left mine in the car.

No.

Well, it's like they say, if you don't use
your head, you gotta use your feet.

Be right back.

So where's the beer?

Keg's on the second floor.
Come on, I'll show you.

Oh, he's definitely clean and sober.

- Kelly, he just went to get a beer.
- Right.

Well, ladies, I'll see you later.
Have a good time.

Hey, where are you going
with those cookies?

None of your business.

Does he have a girlfriend
we don't know about?

Tasty.

I had a feeling you'd like them.

You didn't tell anyone
where you were going?

- Of course not.
- Good.

Because the last thing
either of us needs right now

is a scandal in our lives.

You've got the dean's task force

and I've got my reputation
as an educator.

I know, don't worry.

We just have to take this day by day.

Night by night.

I guess that's all we've got.

Unless...

Unless what?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm dreaming, but I've got
this grant proposal in with the NEA

to do a series of documentary films.

And if it comes through,
I wouldn't have to teach anymore.

I had no idea you were a filmmaker.

There's a lot of things
you don't know about me, Brandon.

I think I know enough to get by.

Looks like Donna and David
are certainly making up for lost time.

Yeah, maybe I have been
too rough on him.

I mean, he has been
really sweet to her tonight.

Yeah, maybe you ought
to just forget about it

and focus on a more pressing issue.

Like what?

You're eighty-sixed, pal. Permanently.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on here?

This weasel was snorting up
in the rec room.

- So, what are you, the DEA?
- No.

I'm a member of this house who
doesn't wanna see his charter yanked.

Come on, you guys have put away
enough beer tonight to float this place.

Isn't that against
the university rules?

Or is that okay,
some kind of jock thing?

Dude, I'm out of here, man.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah.

Come on, Donna.
Let's get out of here.

What, are you gonna stay here
with these guys?

You've been lying to me,
haven't you?

What is this? An inquisition?

You invited me to a party.
What's my crime?

Just go.

I'd be happy to.

- Hey, David, where you going?
- Anywhere but here.

So, what, you're just gonna
leave Donna hanging in there?

Yeah, she'll be okay.

You know, you're blowing it, man.

Jeez, since when are you such
an expert on my life, Dylan?

What, you think your life's
so complicated I can't figure it out?

- Seen it before, you're a junkie.
- And you're a drunk.

You're also
a sanctimonious pain in the ass.

Why don't you just go back inside

and tell Kelly you've done your little bit
for humanity, all right?

She didn't tell me to come out here.

Let me guess, you came out here
because you really care.

Don't flatter yourself.

I don't wanna owe anybody anything
and I owe you one.

What are you talking about?

You remember when my dad died
and you came to the Walsh house?

No, not really.

You said that though
we were never close,

you could sort of understand
what I was going through,

because of what happened
to you when Scott died.

I was standing
on a ledge that day, man.

My closest friends
were trying to help me.

And for what it's worth,
you're the reason I didn't jump.

Yeah, well, like I said,
I really don't remember.

Remember what I'm telling you now.

One of these days,
you'll be out there on that ledge.

Before you jump, give me a call.

What is this?

It's a cross-cultural burrito.

Grandma Rose supplied
the kasha varnishkas and the brisket,

and Jesse's mom supplied
the tortilla and the guacamole.

It is the most incredible thing
I've ever tasted.

Thank you, darling.

How come you're not eating?

I can't, I'm too angry.

Go on, say "I told you so. "

Donna, you gotta stop
beating yourself up about this.

Kelly, he was fine.
At least, I thought he was.

And then all of a sudden,
he just wasn't David anymore.

Well, it's good that you're angry.
It's about time.

I'd do anything
to have the old David back.

Come on, it's a wedding shower.
Try to find a little happiness.

Come on,
she's opening the presents.

Okay.

Oh, this is from Brenda.

- Oh, read the card.
- Okay.

"What love is:

If thou wouldst be taught,
thy heart must teach alone.

Two souls with but a single thought,
two hearts that beat as one.

But don't go by me,
I almost married a jerk

who hasn't called me in a month.
Love, Brenda. "

Yeah.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, I don't think my son
goes for that sort of thing.

Oh, yeah, sure, Mom.
Who do you think you're kidding?

Oh, I'll get it.

Jesse, you're early.

Go on, get out of here.
Take a walk, this is girl stuff.

Okay, okay, I can take a hint.

Did you talk to her parents?

Yeah, no luck.

Try again, Rose, please.
It really means a lot to her.

I know. I will.

- I wanna open the next one.
- Open that one.

This is the big one.

Steve?

Steve?

Steve, good morning.

Did you have a few last night?

Buddy, you would not believe
what I'm going through here.

This place is like an
all-you-can-eat buffet for drinkers.

- Are we supposed to play basketball?
- Yeah.

Oh, Brandon, I gotta get out
of this place, it's like a saloon.

Every day, everybody gets together
and plays this drinking game.

Everybody sits around
watching my mother

in reruns of The Hartley House.

And every time my mother says,
"Chuckie," everybody drinks.

You know how many times my mother
says "Chuckie" in a given episode?

- Don't watch, Steve.
- That's not all.

Remember I told you I was gonna
get John Sears' old room?

Yeah.

Well, I didn't count on
getting three roommates with it.

Oh, so the prince
has to share his castle.

I told you you were
gonna hate it here, bro.

I gotta find someplace else to live.

You got any ideas?

You know,
as a matter of fact, maybe I do.

Andy.

Anybody there?

It's me, David Silver.

Hey.

Did you see anybody out there?

No, man.

I was stopping by, got some
new CD's I want you to listen to.

How about outside?
Did you see anybody outside?

Yeah, there were
tons of people outside.

I hope you like hip-hop.

Yeah, some other time, huh?
Seems I gotta close the store.

- Why? What's happening?
- Armageddon.

I just got word the whole dorm
is gonna be busted.

- Oh, God.
- Wait, you live off campus, right?

- Yeah.
- Great.

Take this to your house
and I'll call you

as soon as everything's okay,
all right?

- What's in it?
- What do you think is in it?

I don't know about this, Andy.

I don't know about that guy
that you brought over here yesterday.

- Come on, Happy Jack is cool.
- Somebody dimed on me, man.

You could be the one
who punked out.

If I would've turned on you,
you think I would've come back here?

All I know is I'm going down here,
and this stuff isn't even paid for yet.

I'm about to get wiped both ways.
So you gotta help me out here, David.

You're my only hope.

There's no way Andrea's
gonna let me live in her room.

Steve, she's moving in with Jesse.
She told me I could use her computer.

Maybe you can sleep in her bed.

- She's not home.
- I'm gonna leave her a note to call me.

- Hey, Silver.
- Silver, how's it going?

The Energizer Bunny's
got nothing on that kid.

Completely unhinged.

Bruner, you take the hallway.
Jennings, you come with me.

- Let's go.
- All right.

What's going on?

Andrea, don't tear yourself up
over this.

Grandma Rose
did the best she could.

I know, but they're my parents.

- I can't help but wish they were there.
- I know.

What's going on here?

It must be a fire drill.

- Really?
- No, it's some kind of drug bust.

Looks like I'm moving out
just in time.

As a matter of fact, Andrea,

I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.

Man, this is serious.

Hello?

Calm down.

Calm down.
Yeah, he's right here, hold on.

Dylan, it's David.

Yeah?

Okay, man, just hold on.

Don't do anything
until I get there, all right?

Okay.

Is he in trouble?

Yeah.

David. Open the door, it's me.

So, what, you're smoking too?

Man, I was so freaked out last night,
I went out and bought a pack.

Was that before or after
you got strung out on meth?

I haven't touched anything, man.
I didn't even sleep last night.

I think I'm losing it.

Just relax, David.

So where is the stuff?

It's in the bag.

How much is in the bag?

I don't know.
I was too afraid to open it.

David, this is a lot of weight, man.
We gotta do something right now.

I know, I was thinking maybe we could
go bury it out on the beach.

Is that the best you can do?

What if somebody's
watching your house?

You think somebody's watching?
Great. Now, what am I gonna do?

It's real simple.
Go in and flush it down the toilet.

What, are you kidding?
I can't do that.

Why can't you do that?

Because, man,
that stuff's worth a lot of money.

What about when Andy's out
and he comes looking for it?

Tell Andy to kiss your ass.

I can't do that, man. He's my friend.

He's your friend?

Let me tell you something
about your friend.

When the cops
were hauling him away,

before they even got him downtown,
they told him his best play

was to give up his supplier.

His lawyer shows up an hour later,
tells him the same thing.

First offense, little cooperation,
he can skate.

But guess whose name comes up
in the conversation around midnight.

Yeah. So this morning,
the judge signs a search warrant.

I'm guessing you got a 15-minute
time window to save your butt.

Are you gonna stand here
and argue your options with me,

or you gonna get in there
and flush that stuff down the toilet?

Oh, man.
How'd I get myself into this?

How'd you get into it?

You get off on getting high, David.

I mean, you don't wanna get rid
of this stuff, do you?

That's why you're not flushing it
out of your life right now.

I mean, why let all this
good blow go to waste, huh?

You're on the ledge, Silver.

Don't jump.

All right, man. Go flush it.

No, I'm not gonna flush it.

You're gonna flush it.

It's your deal.

That's the last of it.

There may just be hope
for you yet, Silver.

Police. We have a warrant.

Open up.

- Oh, God.
- Be cool.

Don't say anything,
just do what I do.

Open up.

Move, move, let's go. Up here,
against the wall, right now, move.

- Move, move.
- Right here, move, relax now.

You have the right to remain silent.
If you give up this right,

anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney,

to have the attorney
present during questioning.

If you so desire and cannot afford one,
an attorney will be appointed for you

without charge before questioning.

- Get around back.
- I got it.

- We got it.
- Clear, nothing.

- There's no one else here, sir.
- All right.

- Start in the living room.
- You got it.

- Who's David Silver?
- I am.

We have reason to believe
there's narcotics on the premises.

Come on, son.
Your friend told us what you got here.

You can hand it over
or we do it the hard way.

Tear it apart, tear it apart.

Oh, my God.

The police did this?

Yep, I've never been so scared
before in my life.

It was a pretty thorough search,
but there wasn't anything here.

You know, if it wasn't for Dylan,
I'd be in jail right now.

Can't we sue them or something?

No, they had a search warrant
and probable cause.

Listen, I know
I've been a real mess lately

and I wouldn't be surprised
if you guys didn't believe me,

but I'm gonna stop doing drugs.

I'm gonna get help
and I'm gonna stick with it.

And you probably
won't believe this either,

but I really am sorry
for everything I put you guys through.

Admitting is the hardest part,
it's easy after that.

No, it's not easy.

It's never gonna be easy,
but it's gotta be better than this.

- Well, I'll be there for you.
- Thanks.

We all will.

Thank you.

Hey.

The clock just struck February 14th.

Would it be politically incorrect
to ask you to be my Valentine?

Definitely.

But I'll still let you stay
over here tonight.

If you want to.

A sleepover.

I think I'll have to ask my mom.

I'm serious.

I'd like to see what
you're like first thing in the morning.

Just scholarly curiosity, right?

Exactly.

Well, okay. I have to get up early.

I'm giving away a bride.

Who's the lucky girl?

Andrea Zuckerman.
She's in your class.

Oh, good for Andrea.

She's definitely
not your average coed.

Wait a minute.
You, in favor of marriage?

Well, any ritual that's lasted
the test of time can't be all bad.

Does she love him?

Oh, yeah.

Good, then she's got a chance.

- You don't believe me?
- No, no, no.

It's not that at all.

I was just thinking
about one of my favorite rituals.

And what's that?

The encore.

"Vasquez-Zuperman...

Zuckerman. " You're next.

Well, this is it, chief.

- Yeah.
- Hey, that's Mrs. Chief to you.

Wait. Not yet.

Oh, my God.

You look beautiful.

Congratulations.

You know we'd never miss
a wedding.

You guys are great.

Are we ready to begin?

- Yeah. Yes, sir, we are.
- Very well, then.

Excuse me, am I too late?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my...

If you don't mind, I'd like
to give away my daughter.

- Grandma.
- Don't look at me.

I got a call last night from
that guy you're gonna marry.

He's gonna make a hell of a lawyer.

Thanks, Dad.

So does this mean I'm out of a job?

No way. Move over.

Now you're the best man.

Okay.

I'm so happy.

Kitchen towels.

Either eat or dance.

- Eat.
- Eat.

Listen, Dylan,
I just wanna thank you again.

You knew the cops were coming,
you came anyway.

You saved my life.

It's like I said, David, I owed you one.
We're even now.

Well, it's Valentine's Day,
it's a wedding,

and neither one of us have a date.

What is wrong with this picture?

It's too bad Stewie isn't here.

No, it isn't.
I never wanna see that jerk again.

Can you believe he didn't
even call me for Valentine's Day?

- No.
- No card, no flowers.

Not even some crummy candy.

What is so funny, Brandon?

Turn around, Bren.

Stuart, oh, my God.
What are you doing here?

Happy Valentine's Day, love.
The jerk is back.

Where have you been?

I had to leave for South America
to submit a bid on a project.

I know it's a lame excuse
and I should have called.

But when I spoke
to your father last week...

- You talked to my father?
- Hi, Stuart.

You knew he was coming
and you didn't tell me?

What, and ruin your surprise?

- Have fun, sweetheart.
- Thanks, Mom.

Stuart, will you do something for me
and not ask why?

Anything you want.

When you get home,
if there's a letter from me,

will you burn it?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

Let's take this thing up one notch.

I have a special song
just for the occasion.

Everybody, come on.
Get in a circle.

Get in a circle.

Is that perfect or what?

Perfect.