Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 4, Episode 14 - Windstruck - full transcript

Strange dreams contemplate Donna to fulfill David's dream to sleep with her on their second anniversary together, until her parents show up for a surprise visit. Meanwhile, Brandon returns from San Francisco where he learns about the Steve's botch break-in, who finds himself left in cold after Mike Ryan and the rest of the frat members reject him. Only John Sears remains sympathetic to Steve and tries to help. But when Brandon learns and relays to Steve that the campus police were anonymously tipped off to Steve's break-in, Steve realizes that Sears had set him up. In the meantime, Brandon plays hardball with the corrupt Professor Randall to drop the break-in charges against Steve by threatening to go public about him rigging test scores for D'Shawn and other basketball stars to they can play basketball for the university. Elsewhere, Andrea falls deeply in love with Jesse. Also, John Sears continued wooing of Kelly only pushes her back to Dylan.

Good evening,
you lucky college perverts.

This is Howard Stern.

You're not Howard Stern.

You're my landlord, Mr. Pitts.

Don't look at me, sweetheart.
It's your dream.

And with me in the studio
is Donna Martin.

I should mention,
you look really fabulous, Donna.

I had no idea
you were this attractive.

Is everything that I'm seeing
for real?

Yes.

What are you doing here?



Well, besides plugging my book,
I'm here because your audience

keeps calling my show,
all asking the same wacky question.

What's that?

Why are you still a virgin?

That's none of your business.

Why, Donna, why?

- Why, Donna, why?
- Stop it.

Go away.

- Donna, Donna, Donna...
- Stop it.

Donna.

Donna.

David, what are you doing?

Happy anniversary.

I remembered you said
French tulips were your favorite,



so I found a shop
right off campus that opens early.

They're beautiful. Thank you.

So two years ago tonight,
Christmas dance at West Beverly.

I still can't believe you were willing
to go out with me.

Well, I can't believe it either.

And then,
we got on the dance floor...

And I realized that I loved you.

And I didn't care
what anyone else thought.

I should go put these in some water
before they wilt.

You have to do that right now?

Oh, it's so hot out today.

I think it's gonna be like 90 degrees.

Yeah, well, the Santa Anas
kicked up last night.

We're already on fire watch
in the canyon.

But, so far,
everything seems to be under control.

That's a relief.

You know, the winds tend
to affect people in strange ways.

Oh, gosh, don't I know it?
My mom, she gets so irritable.

My dad, he doesn't sleep
for, like, two or three days.

Yeah, well, they affect me
a little bit different.

Come on, Donna, it's a special day.
Don't you feel it?

Before, was I talking in my sleep?

No. Why?

Good. I should go put these
in some water.

- Hey, my best pal.
- Hey, Nat.

How you doing? Good to be back.

- Everyone's been missing you.
- So I hear.

- Yeah, especially your folks.
- Yeah, right.

What's this I hear
about Emily Valentine?

- How did that turn out?
- Good.

- Yeah?
- So, what's up?

More like who's down?

It's a definite code blue.

Go and do your stuff.

Hey, pal, I bring you much cheer
and good fortune.

Hey, Bran.

So how is Emily Valentine?

Good.

Good?
All you have to say is "good"?

I didn't come here
to talk about me, Steve.

Your message said it was urgent.
What happened to you?

KEG hell week happened to me.

Started off all fun and games,

but at the end,
we had this pledge scavenger hunt.

You busted out of the KEG House?

I got busted,
breaking into Randall's office.

Are you serious?

I was supposed to retrieve
some autographed baseball.

Gotta see the dean on Monday.

Steve, I love you, man,

but if you were any dumber,
you'd require fertilizer.

Why did you even have to
join a fraternity anyway?

Hey, being part of this fraternity
is something I'm very proud of, okay?

Those guys are my brothers.

You wanna make fun of me? Fine.
Don't go bagging on the KEG House,

- okay?
- Okay, okay.

I gotta tell you, man.
It's getting pretty tired.

Me having a best friend who's always
getting in so much trouble.

Would it be too much to ask you
for a favor, Brando?

What do you want me to do?

Well, you're buddy-buddy
with Randall.

Maybe you could talk to him.
Maybe he'll let me slide.

Steve, I can't do that.

I'm in no position
to ask Randall for any favors.

Can't your brothers help you out?

We're gonna have a meeting
about this tonight.

Then relax.

They got you into this,
they'll get you out, right?

Thanks, Brando.
I knew I could count on you for this.

You know, having dinner in Chinatown
is a great way to do your anniversary.

Yeah, and I really want it to be
a celebration. And I love Chinatown.

Me too. It always feels like
you've traveled to a different country.

I know,
and you don't even have to pack.

It's just too bad Andrea and Steve
can't make it.

Yeah, I guess they're tied up.

Well, at least you and Dylan
will be there.

Not as a couple.

This is hopeless.

Yeah, I know. It's the desert winds,
dries up everything.

Kel, you know what?
I had the weirdest dream last night.

I dreamt that I was
in the broadcast booth

and I was doing the show.

Except I wasn't doing it with David.
I was doing it with Howard Stern.

Howard Stern?

Well, actually, it was our landlord
pretending to be Howard Stern.

Mr. Pitts.

Yeah, he was interviewing me
like I was the last American virgin.

And he was laughing at me.

God, two weirdoes in one dream.

The happy wanderer returns.

- Hey, how's it going, brother?
- It's going.

How's Emily Valentine?

She's good.

- She's good?
- That's what I said.

Well?

Hey...

A- plus. Why am I not surprised?

Well, to tell you the truth,
I was expecting a failing grade.

- A workhorse like you? Lmpossible.
- Between the professor, his wife

and the basketball player
I'm supposedly tutoring,

I'm learning more in this course
than I bargained for.

Can't be too tough.
Sanders got a B-plus.

That's not the most amazing grade
on that sheet.

D'Shawn Hardell got a B-plus
without even opening one single book.

It's good to be back
at old Hypocrisy U.

Welcome home.

So, what about tonight, bro?
You heading down to Chinatown too?

Yeah, I'll be on my best behavior.

I didn't realize
you had a discipline problem.

What, Brenda didn't tell you?

Me and Kelly,
Thanksgiving Day in your living room,

we had a scene.
It bordered on the ugly.

No, all she talked about
was her unnaked triumph in her play.

Yeah, well, Bren may wanna have
her repeat performance.

I, however, do not.

So if Kelly and I can get through
this thing and just be civil, I'm happy.

- Okay, ready to go?
- Just about.

You know, we never got to talk
about San Francisco.

- How did it go with Emily?
- Good.

It must have been better than good
for you to skip out on Thanksgiving.

You know, I really wish everyone
would stop asking me about Emily.

If I wanted to talk about it,
I would have.

Okay, if you don't wanna
confide in me,

clearly, it was something
incredibly personal.

Something you wouldn't even tell
your twin sister. Something amazing.

Yes, it was amazing.

It was one of the best weeks
of my whole life.

Now she's disappeared.

Into thin air?

No, into France,
to study marine biology.

You know, I really love that girl.

What?

I can't wait to tell everyone.

No, I don't think you'll be telling

- anybody anything.
- Brandon, I'm kidding.

I'm glad you're home.

Yeah, me too.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Come on, Ryan,
you gotta help me out here.

There's just no easy way to put this.
My hands are tied.

Can't you tell the dean
it won't happen again?

Except hazing is illegal on campus.

Yeah, but everybody does it.

Only this year, the Progressives
are running the student senate

and they're gunning for us.

Man, we just can't get involved.

Great. So where does that
leave me, huh?

And I can't even tell anybody
why I was there, can I?

The fate of the house
is riding on you, man.

It's not fair. We should be able
to do something to help Sanders.

He was just doing what he was told.

John, nobody feels worse
about this than me.

Let's not blow this
out of proportion, okay?

It's a first offense,
he'll probably get off with...

With what? A slap on the wrist?

But the bigger question
is will you cover for your brothers?

Yeah, of course.
What choice do I have?

All right, we're gonna have to distance
ourselves from you for a while.

We have to put you on probation
till Monday, can you handle that?

Yeah.

Sanders, we may have had
our differences in the past,

but you're one huge stud.

This is from Brandon and me.
Happy anniversary.

- Oh, you guys shouldn't have.
- But we're happy you did.

Well, we saw it in a little poster shop
in Westwood

and gosh darn it if it didn't remind us
of the two of you kids.

What is this?

Oh, yeah. That's us, all right.

Good old Ma and Pa
down on the farm.

Well, you two
are the only married couple here.

Absolutely. And role model
for an entire generation.

We're definitely gonna hang this
over the fireplace.

- Possibly in it, if I can help it.
- David.

I don't know about you guys,

but I'm definitely not gonna scoff
at a little bit of good fortune.

You know, I learned this great game

when I was in San Francisco
in this dim sum restaurant.

After anybody says a fortune,
everybody adds two words to it.

- What words?
- "In bed. "

Oh, I'll go first.

"You can obtain any goal
you choose. "

In bed.

Yeah, just ask Stuart Carson.

"You have the power
to influence many people. "

In bed.

Whoa, Dylan.

What about you, Donna?
Why don't you go next?

Okay.

"You'll be starting
on a new adventure. "

In bed.

- Young David Silver, name him.
- Name him.

- Thank you, good night.
- I wish.

Peace, peace, peace.

- Oh, that's all right.
- See if you can get it in.

- Oh, you make a wish.
- Oh, no.

Be careful. It's very, very slippery.

Hey, wait, before we leave,
the anniversary couple

has to make one wish
in the fountain before we leave.

- Yeah, go for it, Donna.
- Okay.

- Here you go.
- All right.

All right.

Look, David. I got love.

Okay, my turn.

Well, well, well.
Could it be that young Silver

is gonna get lucky tonight?

From your mouth to God's ears.

Oh, I don't know, luck, love...

Do I see a pattern developing here?

Oh, speaking of patterns.

The Christmas dance is going on
at West Beverly tonight.

And David and I thought we'd stop by,
kind of relive the old magic.

Is everyone up for it?

Donna, I didn't wanna go
to high school dances

when I was in high school.

Why would I wanna go now?

Donna, it's gonna take
a couple of more years

for me to become nostalgic
for old West Bev.

I don't think so. Sorry.

I'll pass.

Oh, come on, you guys.
Don't you wanna be with us?

I think they want us
to be by ourselves.

- Say good night, Donna.
- Good night, Donna.

Thanks, guys, for everything.

- Bye, see you later.
- Bye.

- Have fun.
- Bye, baby.

Bye. Bye.

Later, Silver.

So, Kel, are you gonna be needing
a ride home?

No, I'll take her. You guys go ahead.

Sure it's okay
to leave you two here alone together?

Think you can handle it?

I'm fine.

You got nothing to worry about.

- See you later.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Good night, Kel.

I don't know what it is
about the Santa Anas,

but I haven't been myself all day.

Maybe it's not the Santa Anas.

Maybe I'm just nervous
about being with you.

In the Middle East, they have winds.
They're called the siroccos.

They blow across
the northern desert of Africa.

And while these winds are blowing,
if you kill somebody,

they won't even try to punish you.

Sort of like temporary insanity.

Kind of like the heat of passion.

Sort of like a full moon.

Our bodies are full
of so much water

that gravity starts pulling on us
in ways we don't even realize.

It's like a tide rising.

- Bless you.
- Thanks.

Bless you.

Thank you, David, but you don't have
to keep saying "bless you" anymore.

I had a wonderful time tonight.

You know, it was just like
the first time all over again.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

It's just my allergies,
with the winds and everything.

Must be all the pollen in the air.

Yeah. You know, I should really go
take an antihistamine.

No, don't. They put you to sleep.

Sorry.

Bless you.

It was great meeting Grandma Rose.

You know, when you asked
for a second helping on those latkes,

you won her heart forever.

And why not? They're delicious.

I can't believe you bought me
a baseball glove for Hanukkah.

Well, if you're gonna hang around me,
you're gonna need it.

Oh, I see. So it's more than a gift?

Better believe it.

It's getting late.

Yeah.

I've got a lot of reading to do.

I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah.

Bye.

Good night.

Good night.

Welcome back to the second part
of my expos?

on the last American virgin.

With me are Donna's parents,
Dr. And Mrs. Martin from Houston.

Hi, Howard.

Very nice to be here.

And in the hot seat
is Hot Pants David Silver,

who's been pressuring Donna
to do the wild thing.

I consider it romancing her,
Mr. Pitts.

I'm not your landlord.
I'm Howard Stern.

Oh, sorry, Howard.
That's a nice wig.

David, what's with you and Donna
and the old mattress mambo?

Well, I just want us both to share
the intimacy of a real relationship.

What a rap.

Dr. Martin, Felice. You buy that?

Well, as a doctor, I'm familiar with
the hormonal drives of young adults.

But I leave all the parenting
to Felice.

And I don't buy it.

Call me old-fashioned,

but I don't believe in the motives
of young men who wear earrings.

What earring? Look at this,
the guy is willing to sacrifice

for a shot at your daughter.

Dr. Martin, Mrs. Martin,
I love Donna.

Not just for her body,
but for her mind.

And if she has sex with me,
I promise I'll marry her.

I think we've exposed
some raw honesty.

I'll tell you what,
I'll spring for the condoms.

What do you say, Felice?

Well, I guess in that case,
it's all right.

Donna, if you're listening,
sweetheart,

we give you our blessing
to do the wild thing with David.

I just had a great idea.

What a coincidence. So did I.

- Yeah, that is, if you're up to it.
- Try me.

Okay, we get out of this bed,
we go cook some breakfast,

pack up the car,

drive to Joshua Tree.

Joshua Tree?

Lt'll be great.

It's in the desert,
no one will be there.

Winds will be really strong.

We'll build a fire, stay all night.

Oh, I'd really love to, but I can't.

Why not?

Sorority is having a car wash.

I don't think I can get out of it.

- Yeah.
- Dylan, it's for a good cause.

I'm sure it is, Kel.
I just don't wanna hear about it.

Okay, so I guess that leaves us
where we left off.

No, I can do something else
and hook up with you later.

You can?

And that's okay with you?
You're not mad?

Let's not overanalyze, okay?

Hey, D'Shawn.

Yo, Brandon.

What's this? You going formal?

Now that I'm on the team,
I gotta look sharp for the road games.

- What do you think?
- I think we should probably talk.

Look, I want you to know
I didn't say a word to Randall

about you and his wife.

I shouldn't have threatened you,
it was just, I was feeling...

Scared to take your midterm?

You always cut in too deep.

I guess that's why
I value our friendship.

Friendship?

D'Shawn, we don't have a friendship.

All you ever tried to do was use me.

Man, don't be like that.
I really appreciate your help.

Yeah, but you didn't need
my help, did you?

You got a B-plus.
Randall just hand you that grade?

Yeah, and I'm cool with that.

You don't live in my world.
We're different, understand?

Oh, no. Don't get all racial
on me now.

Coz, this ain't a black thing
or a white thing.

It's a green thing.
You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah, it's all about money.
- That's right.

I get a chance to showcase
my talent for the pros,

CU gets a shooting guard.

- It's a fair trade.
- No, it's not.

Because you didn't get
to take Soc 101.

And you know what?
You'd have liked it.

I gotta hit the gym.

If you wanna sign back on
as my tutor,

I heard Randall's gonna be
in his office late this afternoon.

- Enough said.
- Thanks for the tip.

And where is Ms. Donna Martin?

I can't believe
that she'd let her sisters down.

She is at the radio station
doing public-service spots.

She'll be here later.

Well, then,
I guess I'll save the RV for her.

- Good idea.
- Hey, girls, no horsing around!

There's work to be done.

When you're done there,
my back could use a good scrubbing.

Dylan, what are you doing here?
I thought you were going surfing.

Well, the desert winds
kind of canceled out the waves.

Nothing better to do, huh?

Actually, I thought I'd come down,
get the grime knocked off

the old speedster.

- I'd love to.
- Yeah?

Sorry, cowboy,
must have made a mistake.

You asked for it, Sears.

Water fight!

No prisoners!

No prisoners!

They do this every year.

KEG fight!

- Sanders, come here, man.
- Hi there.

There's nothing I want more
than to have you in this fraternity.

But you gotta work with me, okay?

Probation means no contact.

Oh, gosh, I was just coming
for a car wash.

- Get out of here.
- Let him stay, what's the big deal?

Are you crazy? There could be
faculty advisers coming.

- We're gonna get in trouble.
- He's right. Get out of here.

Let's go.

Hey, what are they doing to him?

Hey, Steve, where you going?

Hey, don't leave me here, man.
Where you going?

Public-service announcement
number four, take one.

If you're going to drink, don't drive.

And if you're gonna drive,
don't drink.

And if you have to choose
between one or the other...

Drink gasoline.

- David.
- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

No, it was funny.

You're funny.

And I think that you're very sexy.

What's gotten into you?

Oh, I don't know,
just feeling very grateful.

I mean, no matter
what I put you through,

you always stay with me.

You must love me.

Believe me,
after what happened last night,

and the fact that I'm still here today,
proves it.

Well, I won't argue with that.

Either that, or I'm totally nuts.

I said I was sorry.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it
to come out like that.

Last night
was almost the perfect anniversary.

Well, then,
maybe we've waited long enough.

What?

I've been thinking.
It's been hard not to.

And lately, all of the signs
seem to be pointing in one direction.

And what direction is that?

David, I love you.

And nothing we could ever do
could ever be wrong.

- You mean...?
- That's right.

Tonight, I'm not gonna take
my antihistamine.

One white rose.

Thank you.

Reminds me of the first poem
I ever learned by heart.

"La Rosa Blanca"
by the great poet, Jose Marti.

Do you know it?

Why do I suddenly feel
so culturally deprived?

If you'd like,
I'll teach it to you sometime.

I'd like that.

So you've had enough sightseeing?

No, I like seeing
your old neighborhood.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't ever wanna forget
where I came from.

Good for you.

We're right on time.

Okay. Now, you've treated me
to the best latkes in L.A.,

now get ready for the best burrito.

Come on,
I want you to meet my family.

- Your family?
- Yeah.

- Hey, Ma.
- Oh, Jesse.

How you doing?

This is a very good friend of mine,
Andrea Zuckerman.

Hello. Very nice to meet you.

Very nice to meet you.
You have a wonderful son.

Thank you.

It's my uncle Lolo
and my cousin Humberto.

Hello.

Now, I recommend
the machacas burritos.

You want that gringo? I mean, mild.

No way,
I'll have it just the way you do.

There is only one thing that could
make this afternoon any better.

It's if you'd come back
to my apartment in Westwood.

Well, I'm always up
for a little more sightseeing.

Just when I thought
it was gonna be a dull day.

Lucinda, hi.

I was actually looking
for your husband.

Just missed him.

Come in. You at least owe me
a little thanks.

I do?

And what for?
Did you get to D'Shawn?

Well, actually, I did tell him
there was nothing between us.

And since Corey
knows nothing about us,

well, you can go on living
your square little existence.

Oh, goody.

But I'm serious about expecting
a wee bit of gratitude.

What do you expect?

You want me to throw you
over the desk for a quickie?

I came here for something else.
You've got nothing to do with it.

Oh, well, then you're lucky
Corey isn't around.

You wouldn't wanna tangle with him.
He's in a pretty bad mood these days.

Wouldn't have anything to do with
his office getting broken into, would it?

No, we had a nasty little fight.

Break-in was comic relief.

My husband's precious
autographed balls

were never in jeopardy.

- What are you talking about?
- Campus cops were tipped off.

They knew exactly when the thief
would be here.

Tipped off by who?

Anonymous phone call.

But maybe I could find out more
if you're nice.

No, you've already told me enough.

Thank you.

Oh, jeez. Beat it, Walsh.

Steve, come on. I've been looking
for you everywhere, man.

Why? So you can tell me
I'm a dimwit?

And how I'm not worthy
of being your friend, huh?

I'm sorry, bro. I know
I was a little hard on you yesterday,

but that's before I knew that you
getting caught in Randall's office

wasn't your fault.

- What are you saying?
- I'm saying you got set up.

The brothers at the KEG House...

Steve, the cops
got an anonymous phone call.

They were waiting for you.

Who in the frat house knew
what you were up to?

I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.

You do that,
you leave the rest up to me, okay?

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to bat for you with Randall.

Hey, man, that's like putting
your head on the chopping block.

Maybe it's time to clear the decks.

It's something I should have done
a long time ago.

Hey, Bran, you just might be
the only brother I got.

Head butt?

No.

Since when did we get
so many candles?

Well, I just wanna make sure
that everything is perfect.

Well, you're right.

This is something we're going
to remember for the rest of our lives.

Sure you're ready for this?

Are you expecting somebody?

Maybe Kelly forgot her key?

Wait right here, don't go anywhere,
okay? I'll be right back.

I'll be right there.

Mrs. Martin, Dr. Martin,
what are you two doing here?

Well, we thought we would
surprise Donna with a little visit.

Well, she's not here right now.
I was just taking a nap.

A nap? It's 10:00 at night.

David, are you in the habit of running
around here in your underwear?

It's only when I'm here by myself.

Which isn't too often,

because I'm usually
at my own apartment.

David, what's going on?

Mom, Dad.

What a surprise.

I thought you said she was out.

Oh, well, I just snuck in
a few minutes ago.

David, what are you doing here?

He said that he was taking a nap.

Right, nap. I almost forgot.

See, David's air conditioning is out,

so we're letting him sleep
on our couch.

No, we walk in here unexpectedly

and find the two of you
in your underwear.

I think there's a better explanation.

Well, actually, it turns out
that we had an extra bedroom.

So Kelly and I decided
that David could move in.

Donna, are the two of you
living together?

No, it's not like that.

David has his own bedroom,
and nothing has changed.

Nothing has changed?

Right from the very beginning,
you've been lying to me, haven't you?

Yes, but...

Every phone call, every letter
has been a betrayal.

And you're telling me
nothing has changed?

Why, I can see we never
should have left her here.

Why can't you just be happy for me?

Oh, I hope that wasn't meant for me.

No, there's something unnatural
about hot winds in December.

Weather's beautiful,
but the side effects aren't worth it.

Well, the paper says
they've already died down.

Your sinuses will recover.
I'll see you later.

Where are you going so early?

Up to the campus. Gonna work out,
hang out a little bit.

Try to find one of my teachers.

On a Sunday?

Yeah, he usually works in his office
on the weekends.

You aren't in some kind of trouble,
are you?

Dad, me? The good son?

How could you ask me
a question like that, huh?

He's in trouble.

They're waiting in the living room
to take me to church.

I can't really talk.

What happened after I left?

It didn't get any better.

Yeah, for me either.

When I showed up at Mel's last night,
I interrupted him and Nina.

Donna, are you almost ready?

Yeah, I'll be there in a second.

I wish I didn't have to go
through this alone.

Yeah, well, I'd be there in a flash
if I thought it would help.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

Bye.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi, sorry I kept you waiting.

So how was the hotel?

Oh, it was lovely. It was lovely.

After church,
we're gonna go to brunch.

And we'll all sit down
and just talk sensibly, okay?

Look, I'm really sorry
about last night.

Well, honey,
that's all very well and good,

but I just don't understand
why you had to lie to me.

Why?

Because if told you the truth,

you never would have let us
move into this apartment.

How do you know that?

- You never gave me a chance.
- She's right, you wouldn't have.

We talked about this last night.
Let's not go backwards, all right?

Donna lives 2,000 miles away from us.
She has her own life.

And you really gotta make
your own decisions now.

I know that what Daddy says is true.

It's just hard for me
to realize you've grown up.

Well, you need to have a little faith
in the job you've done.

And know I've done nothing
to make you ashamed of me.

Oh, baby, I know you haven't.

I just wanna be sure
that I can trust you again.

You can, Mom. You can.

Sweet.

Sanders, what are you doing here?

Don't worry, this won't take long.

Man, are you determined
to bring this fraternity down?

Thought you cared
about the brotherhood.

I do.

There's just one thing I gotta know.

Who knew I was gonna hit
Randall's office that night?

All right, I've had it with you, goon boy.
Why don't you get out of here?

Why don't you start answering
some questions?

I'm gonna get Mike Ryan.
Nobody talk to this guy.

He's gonna get us all kicked out
for hazing.

Come on, Keith.

Besides you and Sears,
who else knew?

Nobody, just us.
What's your problem?

Every other pledge
took the same risks.

Only you were the only one
dumb enough to get caught.

Kind of makes you wonder, don't it?

This is amazing.

What's that?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt you.

That's okay, what?

It's this article that I'm reading.

They did a study
on children of divorce.

In one group,
the parents had shared custody.

And in the other group,
only one parent had custody.

Kind of like Erin.

Yeah, Erin, and me too.

The thing is that the kids
that went back and forth

actually learned that their parents' love
would be there

even when they weren't.

Guess I'm still working on that.

Yeah, aren't we all?

If you hadn't come to the car wash,
that would have been okay.

Well...

You know, last night,
when we were together,

I really liked hearing
about the rest of your day too.

I guess what I'm getting at is...

...we don't have to spend
every waking hour together

to be a couple.

Eloquently put.

So there is hope for us, huh?

Yeah.

So how was Hanukkah with J?sus?

His name is Jesse.

Sorry, Jesse.

Are you gonna be watching me
all the time?

Well, Andrea,
I'm just worried about you.

What's gonna be left
when the novelty wears off?

What could you two
possibly talk about?

How to mix the perfect margarita?

For your information,
he is a second-year law student.

- Really?
- Really.

Of course, affirmative action.

Easy to be glib when you come
from an estate in Encino, isn't it?

You really love this guy?

Yeah, you're damn right.

Then adi?s, muchacha.

- Mr. Randall.
- I'm not open office hours.

Yeah, I know,
but this is kind of important.

All right, make it fast.

Listen, the guy who broke
into your office, Steve Sanders.

He's a friend of mine.

Not too bright a friend.

Listen, it was just a prank.
It was gonna be returned on Monday.

You know, if he really wanted
to tick me off,

he should have taken
my Don Drysdale baseball.

Because I got this autographed myself
when I was a kid.

Big D was my favorite pitcher.
You know why?

Because Drysdale
was an intimidator.

He understood the game
within the game.

See, some guy comes up there,
thinks he's gonna get a hit,

Drysdale would just throw
a high hard one right at his head.

Only the greatest hitters could come
up there without getting weak knees.

You know, kind of the way
you're facing me right now.

What's the matter? You can't handle
the game within the game?

Actually, I just came here
to ask a favor.

A favor?

Yeah. I was hoping you could drop
the charges against Steve.

Oh, well. Yeah, I could do that.

- You could?
- Oh, yeah, sure.

All I'd have to do would be
to call security,

tell them I forgot I gave him access.

- It was just a mistake.
- Oh, that would be great.

Yeah, but I'm not gonna do that.

Because you've been hitting
the sheets with my wife.

Knockdown pitch.

- D'Shawn tell you that?
- No, no one told me.

I know Lucinda
when she targets somebody.

I know how hard she comes on,
believe me.

But the question is,
what am I gonna do about it now?

Look, nothing happened. When I
found out she was your wife, I bailed.

Oh, yeah, right. Wouldn't touch her
with a ten-foot pole.

I wouldn't touch her with a sequoia.

I don't care whether you believe me
or not. Don't take this out on Steve.

Hey, I'll take it out
on whoever I want to, pal.

You're finished here.

Fine, Professor Randall.
You wanna play a game?

I'll play a game with you.

I'll go to the newspapers.
I'll go to the dean.

I'll go to the NCAA.
I'll go to whoever will listen to me.

And I'll tell them how you gave
D'Shawn a big fat grade

just so he'd be eligible
to play on the team this season.

You can't prove that.

Try me.

Now, are you gonna call
the security office, or am I?

So when did you get back?

About an hour ago.

So was it a horror show
with your parents?

No. Actually, it was pretty nice.

And they said it would be okay
if we kept things the way they are.

Meaning?

Meaning that the three of us
can continue to live here.

I don't know how you did it.

But I say we just pick up
where we left off.

No, David. I don't think so.

Now what?

It's just that I gave them my word
that I wouldn't.

See, I knew it.

Second you saw your mother,
it would be high school all over again.

But, David, they trust me.

And it's not like that's all we have
between us. You said so yourself.

Everything's gonna be okay.

You really think so?

I'm sure of it.

All right.

David, you're the best.