Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 3, Episode 8 - The Back Story - full transcript

And you will look forward
to the morning

when you will awaken
from a good night's sleep,

bring your lD
and your Number 2 pencils

and arrive at your SAT testing site

approximately 20 minutes
before the test begins.

Why, so we can worry
for an extra 20 minutes?

No, so you don't have to worry about
being late on top of everything else.

Relax, Eraserhead, you're a junior.
Come on, it's a piece of cake.

Yeah, well, lf it's so easy, why are you
all in here taking your SATs again?

l want you to simply bring yourself
back to the sound of my voice saying,

''S.D.S.M.''



Scan, discard, select, move on.

Scan, discard, select, move on.

--on my SAT test.

Boring, huh?

Excuse me, we're from KTMB-TV.

Would any of you be willing
to talk to us

about the pressures you're feeling

getting ready
for the college entrance exams?

- What's going on?
- Oh, it's just the local news.

--pressure to get
the highest possible scores.

These courses make us feel
like at least we have--

The hell it is.

l'm gonna try and see if l can improve
my scores the second time around.

- Hey.
- Steve, what are you doing?



Can l have my mike back, please?

- Why should l?
- Steve.

Don't you know
who these people are, Brenda?

Did you ever hear of a sleazy TV show
called Back Story?

lt's a junk-a-thon news magazine
that goes out of its way

to ruin people's lives on national TV.

Look, that is not true.

What about the story you ran
on Samantha Sanders?

Hey, l'm new on the show.

Don't try to weasel out of it.

That was a hatchet job
if ever l've seen a hatchet job.

Steve, let's just get out of here.

Come on, man,
don't waste your breath.

- Really.
- My mike, please?

Thanks.

Next time, l'll break it.
And your camera too.

Samantha Sanders is his mom.
He's very protective of her.

l can see that.

Well, Brenda,
good luck on your test.

Thanks.

Hey, buddy, l heard you whaled
on some unsuspecting newswoman

last night.

Don't get me started.

Brenda said you were just releasing
some pent-up sexual tension.

Give me a break, okay?

Oh, well, speaking of pent-up,

there's some sweet young thing
who has her eye on you.

Nikki Witt?

Oh, try not to show
so much enthusiasm.

She's a sophomore.

So you got some age-bias thing
going here?

No, l got no age-bias thing
going here.

But let's not forget, this is the girl

who was throwing herself
at young David Silver.

- Now, maybe you're hard up.
- Hi, Steve.

- Hey, Suds. How are you doing?
- Great.

- So we're still on for tonight, right?
- Eight o'clock, Peach Pit.

- Great. Bye, Brandon.
- Bye.

Well, l guess Brenda was wrong.
No flies on you.

No Suds on me, either.

She's B.J. Harrison's girlfriend.
He'll be sitting between us.

Aren't there enough college girls
in the world

that these guys don't have to come
back and raid our class?

- Bran, she's a junior.
- A junior?

Don't you know
girls mature faster than guys?

Not in my house, they don't.

- Oh, l really need a cigarette.
- You're really hooked now, aren't you?

l am not. lt's just
that l'm a little stressed out

with these SATs
and everything else going on.

So you wanna add radiology treatments
to your busy schedule.

Kelly, l don't smoke that much.

A few measly puffs
is not gonna give me lung cancer.

Did you know that smoking
increases your stress level?

Why don't you just lighten up?

lf your parents knew,
they would flip out.

Yeah, well, so would Dylan.
He hates smoking with a passion.

But fortunately,
he loves the smell of perfume.

Don't say anything, okay?

- Whatever.
- And don't say goodbye either.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Since you're technically
still my senior buddy,

- can l ask you a question?
- Sure.

Why is everyone
so rattled around here?

- lt's not even a full moon.
- The SATs are this Saturday.

Oh, that's what's going on
with Brandon.

No, actually, he and Andrea
are the only ones l know

who aren't taking the SAT again.

Well, then, what's his story?
l mean, he's so serious all the time.

That's just at school. At the Peach Pit,
he is a completely different person.

Thanks for the tip.

Well, once a buddy, always a buddy.

Brenda, l was hoping l'd find you.

- You got a minute?
- Sure.

l want you to know, l had nothing to do
with that smear on your friend's mom.

You came all the way here
just to tell me that?

Can we go somewhere and talk?

Believe me, working for Back Story

was not where l thought l'd end up
after journalism school.

But jobs are hard to come by.

Well, l guess you gotta do
what you gotta do.

Well, l still think l can do the kind
of quality work that bucks convention

and breaks down the stereotypes.

But l need your help.

- Beth, l don't know.
- lt's a natural, come on.

''Stay tuned for the back-story

on the kids that go to high school
in the most glamorous city in America.''

How is that gonna break down
any stereotypes?

Because l'm not gonna do
a generic profile

of the blond bimbette on Rodeo Drive
with her daddy's gold card.

What interests me

is that you and your friends
are just a bunch of ordinary kids

living in an extraordinary community.

Yeah, l guess Beverly Hills
can take some getting used to.

Which is a lot easier
if you get past the surface glitz

and look at the difference between
what's real and what's hype.

Right?

Do you have another cigarette?

So when did you start smoking?

l was in Paris for the summer.
Everybody was doing it.

l started my senior year too.

Actually, your friends remind me

of the crowd
l used to hang out with in high school.

We're still really close.

So, what do you say?

Well...

Do l get to be on camera?

There you go, man.

B.J., Steve called,
he's running late as usual.

- No sweat.
- How's college treating you? Okay?

- l'm learning the ropes.
- Good deal.

Here you go.

Brandon, l need to talk to you.

How much perfume
are you wearing?

Listen, can we go sit down
for a minute?

Brandon, order's up.

l can't right now.
Bren, what's the matter?

- lt's nothing, it's just--
- Brando.

- Look, you go ahead. l'll wait.
- Thanks.

- Hey, Brandon.
- Stevie, your date's right over there.

Nice perfume you're wearing.

Sir, your order will be right up.

Here you go and here you go.

Orders up on 1 1 and 1 4.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Brandon.

Hi. Wow, l didn't know
you worked here.

- What a--
- Brandon.

Excuse me.

--surprise.

Hey, B, do you got any old term papers
lying around collecting dust?

l might.

l thought senior year would be a breeze,
but they're just piling on the work.

lt's funny
you should say that, Steve.

That's kind of why l'm here.

l'm about to make your life.

What is that? The key to your heart?

No, this is the master key
to West Beverly High.

lt unlocks every office,
every filing cabinet,

every grade bank.

Think of the possibilities, Steve-o.

Yeah, right.

Hey, this isn't a trick, Sanders.

This key is a legacy

that's been passed down
year after year

to the one student who's lucky enough
to carry on the tradition.

And now it's your turn.

Where'd you get it?

l'm not gonna tell you that.

And you'll never say
where you got it, right?

Why me, B.J.?

l just wanna make sure
you wind up in my frat someday.

l don't know.

Hey, look, Steve, you don't want it?

l'll find someone else who does.

l didn't say l don't want it.

l could get into a lot of trouble
with that key.

Okay, look, you need a little time
to think it over.

You got till the weekend.

And for once in your life, Sanders,

try not to be a jerk.

So l've got three orders up,

and she just keeps saying,
''l can't decide.''

l mean, either you like vanilla
or chocolate, am l right?

Why don't you just ask Nikki out
and get it over with?

l don't know.
She makes me nervous.

Well, maybe you make her nervous.

l just wish l could make her
a little older, you know?

She seems so innocent.

Appearances can be deceiving.

Very deep, Bren. Very deep.

- Can we go now?
- Sure.

Look, l know that Back Story
has a bad reputation,

but Beth only wants to do the story
if it's from my point of view.

l'm sure that's exactly
what they told Samantha Sanders.

Well, l don't know anything about that,
Brandon.

But Beth is the field producer,

and she controls
what goes into the piece.

- l mean, isn't that how it works?
- Yeah.

Still, l'd check
with Mrs. Teasley first.

Why do l need her permission?

You know how image-conscious
the school district is,

especially when it comes
to the media.

Why do you wanna do this thing?

Well, l wanna help Beth.

What is she, your new best friend?

As opposed to my old non-friends?

What's that supposed to mean?

l don't know.
Ever since l got back from Europe,

l feel like l'm not on the same
wavelength with anybody.

l mean, Donna's off
doing her thing with David,

and Kelly's been so moody lately,
it's like l can't say anything right.

lf it weren't for Dylan,
l wouldn't have anyone.

- Excuse me.
- Present company excluded.

Thank you.

l don't know,
l mean, at the very least,

l have the opportunity
to make a positive statement

about what it's really like
to grow up in Beverly Hills.

Still, check with Mrs. Teasley
before you get into it.

Hey, Dad, what's up?
Going out someplace, big guy?

Yes, if your mother ever finds
the address. How are you guys?

- Great.
- Beat.

- All set.
- Finally. l'm starved.

- Don't study too hard.
- She will.

Well, don't party too hard.

- See you later.
- Good night.

This is the thanks we get
for sending you to Paris?

Everybody smokes in Paris.

Well, no one smokes in this house.
lt's that simple.

l don't know anyone
who smokes anymore.

lt really is a disgusting habit, Bren.

Look, l've only smoked
a couple of times.

l don't even inhale hardly.
So you can all stop worrying.

Aren't there health hazards
that we can't control,

without you voluntarily
adding another?

Dad, if l can survive
the smog in the air,

the pesticides in my food
and the crime in the streets,

then l am bound to beat the odds
on a couple of lousy cigarettes.

Don't dare make light of this.

Mom, l'm sorry.
l just think you're all overreacting.

Well, then you have
a short memory.

Think back to when
you had to see Dr. Donner

about that lump in your breast.

Do we have to refresh your memory
about this family's history

when it comes to cancer?

- No.
- Okay, okay, okay, listen.

So she lost her perspective over there
with the Frenchies this summer.

- That's fine. But now that she's back--
- Brandon.

Please shut up.

Do any of your friends smoke?

No, Dad, and l don't either.

l mean, somebody gave me that pack.
ln fact, l can quit anytime.

Well, in that case, now
is just as good a time as any, right?

No problem.

- ''Assuage.''
- To lessen the intensity of.

''Vitiate.''

- Pass. Next word.
- What do you mean, ''Pass''?

What do you think this is,
a game show?

l wish it was.

Oh, yes, Donna Martin,
you get this one right,

you can win the grand-prize trip
to...study hall.

Applause from the audience.
Thank you.

Look, they're at it again.

Can't you be sympathetic
to what l'm going through?

l mean, you sound disappointed
that l wasn't grounded.

All l'm saying
is l'm glad your parents caught you.

Can you please
keep your voice down?

lt's too late for that. What did they
catch you doing this time?

- Because l know l wasn't involved.
- lt was nothing.

Brenda, if you don't tell me,
Kelly will.

My parents found a pack of cigarettes
that somebody gave me

and they went ballistic.

They wouldn't believe
that they weren't mine.

Bren, that's because nonsmokers
don't usually carry cigarettes.

You don't believe me either? Great.

Brenda, the only thing worse
than having an addiction

is denying that you have one.

- Kelly, please don't get all AA on me.
- Fine.

l quit, okay?

Whether l was ever
officially a smoker,

l am now a nonsmoker.
End of discussion.

What l'd like to talk about

is what time
you're picking me up Saturday.

We should get there 20 minutes
before the test starts.

Actually, there's been
a change of plans.

l'm gonna go to West Lompoc
to see my dad.

What about the SAT?

- Take them next time.
- Dylan, that's what you said last time.

You're gonna miss
the college application deadlines.

So those are the breaks.

You are so frustrating.

lt's not written in stone that everybody
has to go right to college

- after they graduate from high school.
- Thank you.

Thanks, Kel.

- Hi.
- Hi.

l saw you guys watching us.

Did you work everything out?

Oh, yeah, everything's just groovy.

David, did you remember to bring
the video scrapbook l asked for?

Oh, yeah, sure.

l hope your friend
gets a kick out of it.

You know, l hate seeing you and Kelly
fighting all the time.

Yeah, well, tell it to Kelly.

l was hoping it was you.

l brought you the yearbook

and the video scrapbook
that a friend of mine made.

lt's actually pretty good.
Most of it's in focus.

Fantastic. This is gonna be
a dynamite segment.

One more thing. Before you start,

you need to get permission
from Mrs. Teasley.

- Who?
- Our vice principal.

Oh, okay, whatever's standard.

But l think l'm gonna
put the piece together,

let her see it first
and then make up her mind.

You're the reporter. Bye.

Where are you going?
Wait a second.

l have to get back to class.

Oh, l wanted you
to go over this stuff with us.

At least let me introduce you
to my supervising producer.

Come on.

- Want one?
- No, thanks.

Dan will be off in a minute.

Wow, you have, like, a whole
command post set up here, don't you?

Yeah, Back Story has 1 5 mobile units
around the country.

We can edit right in here.

lt gives us a lot of options.

Well, now, l have the back-story
on Back Story,

You sure you can't stay
and help me?

Well,

maybe just for a minute.

So Mr. Meyers wants to see
the proofs by tomorrow.

- No problem.
- And another thing.

We were talking about getting a rep
from each grade on the Blaze staff.

Yeah, l think it's a good idea.

Well, l think we found
our first volunteer

in the sophomore class.

Hi, guys.

Brandon, you know Nikki, don't you?

Yes, we've met.

Several times.

Brenda, l'd even
share my clothes with you

if it meant that you'd stay,

- She struck me as kind of an airhead.
- No, she's not.

ln fact, Donna and l were
in a French immersion programme

in Paris this summer.

And by the end of it,
she was speaking...

Well, she had really, really improved.

So she's partial airhead.

No, Donna has a learning disability.

But she's not letting that stop her
from taking her SATs.

And she's the sweetest person
l know.

And well-dressed.

Yeah, she is a total clotheshorse.

Although, she's not
quite as bad as Kelly.

Kelly.

- Now, Kelly is the other blond.
- Right.

And what's she like?

Well, when l first met her,

l thought she was
the typical Beverly Hills snob.

You know, nose job,
Beemer and an attitude.

She's become one of my best friends.
l really admire her.

- And why is that?
- She's totally turned her life around.

Before l moved here, she was,

shall we say, pretty loose?

And now?

She's completely changed.

l feel sorry for her, though.

A lot of people
can't get past her looks

and see what a smart and loving
and caring person she really is.

You know what?
You're really good at this.

Thanks.
Can l have one of those?

Sure, help yourself.

- Mrs. T, how you be?
- l'd be fine

if a certain senior didn't park his car
in the faculty parking lot.

- Well--
- Steve, next time, l tow it.

- Mrs. Teasley, how's it going?
- B.J., to what do we owe this honour?

Please don't treat him like royalty.
lt goes straight to his head.

Well, you don't make dean's list

and boys' honour society
three terms in a row

unless your feet are planted
on the ground.

Or unless you're just lucky.

- How are you doing, Steve?
- Well, not as good as you, l guess.

And so, America, you might think
that the kids that live in Beverly Hills

must be some alien life form.

But if you stop and look
at somebody like me, for example,

l have a head, two arms, two legs.

l have two parents,

who've been married to each other
for almost 20 years.

That isn't typical, is it?

l'm from Minnesota, remember?

- Okay, cut.
- Was that okay?

That was great.

Better than
l ever could have hoped for.

Oh, my God.
l can't believe how late it is.

l guess l totally blew off school.

l'm sorry, Brenda.

lt's okay, it was for a good cause.

You don't have a spare toothbrush
by any chance, do you?

No, sorry.

- Hey.
- Sorry l'm late.

l didn't think
you were gonna come at all.

- Yeah, and did you miss me?
- Yeah. Come here.

Babe, l can tell
you brushed your teeth,

but you still reek of cigarette smoke.

Well, l was in a confined space
with a lot of smokers.

Bren, l have never had a long-term
relationship with a smoker.

l don't intend to start now.

Fair enough.

Tell you what.

l'll quit smoking forever,
on one condition.

And what might that be?

That you take your SATs
this Saturday.

Dylan, just consider it.

Deal. l'll consider it.

Now you come here.

Not until you get out
of those smoke-ridden clothes.

You just wanna see me slip
into something more comfortable.

Absolutely.

Yeah, that part's no good anyway.
lt's really overwritten.

- That's the part l liked.
- Yeah?

Well, it's stylized.

lt's sort of a cafeteria
stream-of-consciousness sort of thing.

Listen, Nikki, l'm not giving this
the full attention it deserves right now.

Maybe we should give this to Andrea
and see what she has to say.

- So you want me to come back later?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

You know, it won't work, Brandon.
You can't just pawn her off on me.

Although what you have against her
l don't quite understand.

- l mean, she's smart, adorable--
- All right. Enough already.

Andrea, you like her so much,
why don't you take her out?

Look, if it's that bad,
can l give you a word of advice?

Nip it in the bud.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's no fun pining over someone
who's not interested.

Brenda.

l hope l didn't catch you
at a bad time.

Oh, well, we're still
piecing the segment together.

- l'd invite you in, but--
- lt's okay.

l have to get back to class.
l just need to return the video.

Okay. Hold on, l'll get it for you.

Brenda Walsh is here.
What am l supposed to tell her?

Tell her it's not gonna fly,

unless you can come up
with a better hook.

Where's the heat? Where's the:

- That's not what l pitched.
- Well, that's what l need.

Dan, l promised her
l wasn't gonna exploit these kids.

l hope you didn't put it in writing.

lt's just not right.

Either you're gonna do it, or l am.

Here you go.
Thanks for all your help.

Thank you.
l can't wait to see it. Bye.

Bye.

You mean Back Story is doing
a piece on West Beverly High?

We had to escort a cameraman
off the premises.

And they have a Winnebago
parked on Alcott Drive.

- So no one asked for permission?
- No, they did not.

Probably because they knew
we wouldn't give it to them.

So please,
put an announcement in the paper

that we don't want any students
cooperating with these people.

No problem.
We can squeeze into this issue.

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

l hate tabloid journalists.
They are the sleaziest.

What's wrong?

l gotta go talk to Brenda.

- Steve, Steve, you seen Brenda?
- No.

l hope everything's okay.

Do you think he works too hard?

l love new art supplies.
They're so clean.

- Hey, you guys seen Brenda?
- Haven't had the pleasure.

Brenda and Kelly haven't been
getting along so well lately.

Hey, Brandon,
where's your sister, man?

l was just about to ask you
the same thing.

l wanted to say goodbye
before l left for Santa Maria.

Going to see your old man?

Yeah. Oh, by the way, this girl,
she was asking me about you.

Her name is Nikki Witt?

That girl.

She wanted to know
if you had any hobbies or anything.

So l told her
how much you like to knit.

Thanks, buddy.

Tell Bren l'll be back Sunday.
l'll see her then.

Aren't the SATs on Saturday?

Yeah, but, you know,
college isn't really where my head's at.

l know, but there is something
to be said for keeping options open.

Same can be said for you.

- Tell Nikki l said hi.
- l'll do that.

- Hello?
- Mom, listen, did Brenda--?

- What's wrong?
- Nothing, nothing.

Was Brenda expecting me to give her
a ride home from school today?

Do you know? Because
l have some things l have to do,

No, she was gonna study
all day in the library

because the SATs are tomorrow.

Thanks, Mom.

ls everything all right?

Yes. Yes. Everything is all right,
thank you very much.

And everything will remain fine

whether you're hanging out here
asking me about it,

hanging around the newsroom,
dropping by the Peach Pit,

or whatever else you happen
to be doing, everything will be just fine.

Look. Look, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

l have nothing against you personally,
l don't. lt's just--

l've had a lot on my mind lately.

No, wait, that's not even it. Look.

lt just wouldn't work out, that's all.

We're completely different people.

The odds are stacked against us,
if you know what l'm saying.

lt's just the way l feel, l'm sorry.

Wait, l think l've missed
a vital part of this conversation.

Can we go back?

All l said was, ''ls everything okay?''

And you told me that it was,
and l'm happy to hear it.

l've just been a little distracted.

Bye, Brandon.

- What are you doing here?
- l don't give you advice that often,

so when l do, do me a favour
and take it, okay?

Fine, thanks. How are you?

l was better
before Mrs. Teasley came in

with an edict from the school board
about Back Story,

Didn't l tell you to get permission?

The show's going
to take care of all that.

They're going through channels.

What did you tell these people?

Brandon, l think
that you should just relax.

Let me get back to the one thing
l do have to worry about,

which is the SATs.

Man, what a miserable day.

l spend all afternoon
looking for Brenda

to keep her out of hot water,

and when l finally track her down,
her response is,

''Go away, Brandon, l'm busy.''

Brenda can take care of herself.

The counter's filling up, Brandon.
Come on.

l'll be there.

l wish this job
could take care of itself.

Or that paper that's due on Monday
l haven't started yet.

What would you do if someone offered
to make your life a little easier,

at least
in the academic department?

l'd say,
''How much and where do l sign?''

Well, you've gotta swear
on your parents' grave

that what l'm about to tell you,
no one will ever know.

How about just a simple promise?

Someone offered to give me
the master key to the school.

What do you mean the master key?

lt's been handed down
from student to student for years.

lt opens up every office,
every filing cabinet,

every grade bank.

And you have this key?

Let's just say
there's a window of opportunity

that's available to me,
or us, if you're into it.

Well, l guess
things have come full circle.

We became friends
in Mr. Danzel's history class,

when you were only interested in tests
you already knew the questions to.

- Well, that sure backfired.
- What makes you think this won't?

Steve, the way l look at it,

anything you can't do out in the open
ain't worth doing.

You'll get into SC, man.

lf l don't blow it.

Yeah, but you don't need a scam.

What do you wanna be?
You wanna be big man on campus

with a huge GPA, who's always
worried about getting busted?

Or would you rather be a guy
who can sleep at night,

knowing he's doing the best he can?

You always bring out
the Boy Scout in me, Walsh.

That's why l'm here.

Come on.

- Well, speak of the devil.
- We were just watching the news,

when they started promoting
a segment on Back Story

on growing up in Beverly Hills.

They're running it tonight?
What did they say?

''Rich and spoiled in Beverly Hills.

The back-story
on the teenage inhabitants

- of the glamorous city on earth.''
- ''Rich and spoiled''?

When you hear the name
''Beverly Hills, ''

you think of swimming pools,
movie stars,

the lifestyles of the rich and richer,

A golden fantasyland
of palatial estates

and world-class everything,

And the pride of this community
is West Beverly Hills High School,

where the princes and princesses
go to school

in their Porsches and convertibles,

their designer clothes
and their all-American smiles,

Look, there's Kelly.

And Donna.

And Steve.

But at Back Story, we found
that these children of privilege

have nothing to be smiling about,

For it's a sad fact
that all the money in the world

can't compensate
for the breakdown of family values

that we found in our visit
to this mecca,

Brenda, that's you.

l have two parents,

who've been married to each other
for almost 20 years,

That's not typical here,
though, is it?

l'm from Minnesota, remember?

Brenda, when did you do this?

l didn't say it that way.
l never even talked to that guy.

ln Beverly Hills,

you find the tragedy of dysfunctional
families in the extreme,

There are the show-biz kids,

whose parents are consumed
by their own failing careers

at the expense
of their children's emotional stability,

This girl
has a severe learning disability,

Her parents' solution?

Send her to Paris
on a whirlwind shopping spree,

That is so twisted.
l can't even watch this.

And then there's the girl
with the reputation,

This girl found, at an early age,
that in Beverly Hills,

pretty young girls do exactly
what they can for what they want,

- l'm ruined.
- Maybe no one's watching it.

With an absentee father
and a no-limit credit card,

and a mother who's battled
the demons of drugs and alcohol

most of her adult life,

it's no wonder that this blond vixen
has no moral foundation

and a jaded, world-weary attitude,

Kelly's line is still busy.

Dad, can't we sue them?

l don't know.
Maybe we should look into it.

Honey, l'm sure your friends
will understand

when you tell them that those people
just distorted everything you said.

No, l never should have said anything
in the first place.

l have to take a walk.

- You saw Back Story, huh?
- Yeah, it was horrible.

Come on, l'll give you a ride home.

No, l just wanna walk for a while.

Want some company?

That's okay.

What's up, Bren?

Wanna be alone
so you can have a smoke?

Brandon, they made it seem
like l said all those terrible things.

Nobody's ever
gonna talk to me again.

l really need a cigarette.

Bren.

Seems to me if you can
get through this without a cigarette,

you can probably
get through anything.

So you want chocolate sauce
on this?

No. Three scoops, straight up.

Kelly's line is still busy.

Well, what about Donna?

No answer.

You know, l wish
l could get ahold of Beth Nielsen,

break down
some of her stereotypes.

Of course, she's not even listed.

Kelly, get off the phone.

Yeah, David, hi. ls Kelly there?

Yeah, but she doesn't
wanna talk to you.

And frankly, neither do l.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, l didn't expect to see you
till next weekend.

Yeah, l know. You know, you told me
how slow time passes here,

so l picked up these books you wanted
and l brought them up.

Well, yeah,
time does go slowly here,

but that's why l'm getting good
at keeping dates in my head.

You got the SATs tomorrow.

So?

Why did you wanna drive
all the way up here and back?

You ought to be getting
a good night's sleep.

l just thought l'd check out the waves
at Avila State Beach instead.

What?

Don't tell me you're disappointed.

Well, what good
is that gonna do, huh?

l mean, if you wanna learn everything
the hard way

just like l did, you're entitled.

That's right, l am.

You just wanna wait around, hang out,
until your trust fund matures?

- Sounds good, huh?
- Doesn't sound bad.

Then you got a wad of money
in your pocket,

and you think people
will respect you.

Until the money runs out
and you realise they don't.

That's right, l must have forgot
who l was talking to.

You know everything about trying
to buy respect, don't you, Dad?

l mean, that's the reason
for the big endowment

to California University, wasn't it?

That's right, Dylan. That's exactly right.
And it didn't work.

Because deep inside,
l knew l was a fraud.

Look, whether you go to college
or not is your decision.

But if you bust your butt
for four years and you get a degree,

nobody can take that
away from you.

You and Jim Walsh
have the same speechwriter.

Look, l don't expect you to do anything
just because l tell you to,

but if you really want the respect
of the Jim Walshes in this world,

you better earn it.

l'll keep that in mind.

Look, Donna, you gotta stop thinking
about that stupid show.

Now, if your mind starts drifting
during the test,

just remember what we learned:
S.D.S.M.

Scan, discard, select and move on.

Scan, discard, select and move on.

Hey. Saw you guys on TV last night.

Miller, why don't you
leave Kelly alone?

She's had a hard enough time
without your lip, okay?

Hey, l'm not gonna dis her, man.

l'm just a little concerned
about your emotional instability.

Get out of my space, butthead.

Donna, l tried to call you last night.

Scan, discard, select, move on.

Kelly, l know how mad you must be.

Please let me say something
before we go in there.

Even though
we've been fighting a lot lately,

you have to know that l love you,

and l would never have said
those things about you

on or off camera.

l mean, you have to believe me.
l feel terrible.

lt's okay, Brenda.

l'm sure you needed
to get that off your chest.

And now that you've done
what you needed to do to feel better,

l have a test to take.

ls it too late to sign up for the test?

- Can l help you?
- ls Brenda home?

No, she's out all morning,
taking her SATs.

Right, she told me. l totally forgot.

And you are?

Beth Nielsen.

The backstabber from Back Story,

What do you want with my sister?

More gossip?
Or have you come to finish her off?

Listen, should l come back
another time

or will you take a message?

No, l think you owe it to her
to talk face to face.

Fair enough.

Just out of curiosity,

what could you possibly have to say
to my sister after that smear job?

That l quit.

That my stomach
can't handle it anymore,

and neither can my conscience.

Do you know how l can get in touch
with Kelly Taylor?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, l do.

You know, somehow that seemed
easier for me this time.

Well, you always focus
when you're angry.

- How'd you do, bro?
- l think my brain cells are fried.

Well, it was a walk in the park for me.
l nailed that sucker.

Speaking of walking,
let's get out of here

before Miss Teenage America
comes out.

Really, l'm starving.

Guys, what about Donna?
l mean, they've given her extra time,

but it may take, like,
an hour and a half.

So we'll go get something to eat
and come back for her.

And what if she finishes early?

Oh, great. Look who's coming out.

Well, l've got nothing to say to her.

So how'd it go?

As badly as you would expect,

considering the amount
of sleep that l got.

Well, if it's any consolation,
l didn't sleep much either, Brenda.

- l'm glad.
- You have every right to hate me.

- l totally betrayed your trust.
- Yeah, you did. And l don't get it.

You were in cahoots with them too?

No, he wasn't
and neither was Brenda.

She's as much an innocent victim
in all of this as you were.

That's what l'm here to try to explain.

- Yeah, save it for the judge.
- Steve, come on, give her a chance.

Why should we believe
anything she has to say?

Because why else would l be here
if l didn't wanna tell the truth?

She's just trying to assuage
her feelings of guilt.

- Well, it's not gonna work.
- Yeah, you're right, it won't work.

Because l caved at the end,
and l have to live with that.

But it didn't start out that way.

We wanted it differently,
Brenda and l.

We wanted to say, ''Here, you see this
blond bombshell from Beverly Hills?

Well, she's a really terrific girl.

She's sweet and intelligent
and one of a kind.''

That's what you were gonna say.
What was wrong with that?

Because in the real world,
you have a boss,

and your boss has a boss,

and you get sucked in.

That's not a good enough reason.

l agree.

That's why l quit
immediately after the broadcast.

Look, my apology
doesn't make it right,

but believe me, Brenda had nothing
but the best intentions in this.

And l have her on tape to prove it,
if you'll take the time to look.

Did you really say that l'm intelligent
and one of a kind?

l sure did.

l'm sorry.

Beth, you shouldn't smoke.

lt's bad for your health.

Yeah.

''Assuage,'' young David?

lt's to lessen the intensity of.

- l know what it means.
- ls that really what it means?

So, what kind of special treatment
did you get?

ls it open-book testing or what?

No, it just means l got more time.

l wish l had more time.

Remember all those questions
they asked about space exploration?

ln the reading-comprehension part.

Well, was the narrator
supposed to be a Martian?

You are so lame.

Steve, he was a Martian,

otherwise the whole story
wouldn't have made any sense.

He was a Martian?

Nikki, come here, sit next to me.

No, thanks, really, it's okay.

l don't wanna intrude.

Excuse me.

Nikki. Nikki.

Can l talk to you for a second?

l know what you're gonna say,

but they told me
you weren't working today.

l didn't know
you were gonna be here.

l'm sorry.
l didn't mean to be bugging you--

Nikki, Nikki, it's okay.

l just wanted to apologise
for blowing up at you yesterday.

l was preoccupied
with a lot of things.

ln fact, l don't know
really what was going on.

lt was so unlike me, actually.

Obviously,
you're a very nice person.

ln fact, l like you.

There was this boy in third grade,
his name was Marty Halfon.

He used to kick my chair
and make me cry.

And my mother said
it was because he liked me,

which l found so strange.

Sorry, l didn't mean to interrupt.
l just had to do that.

lt's okay. l understand.

So you want a milkshake
or something?

Yeah.

Chocolate or vanilla?

- How about a little of both?
- Little of both.