Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 3, Episode 16 - It's a Totally Happening Life - full transcript

Clarence? Clarence? Clarence?

l heard you the first time,
This better be good,

l wouldn't be bothering someone
with your busy schedule

if l didn't think it was at least
a Code Two,

Famines and floods are Code Two,

Tornadoes and earthquakes
are Code Two,

All right, all right,
so maybe it's a Code Three,

l haven't memorized
the manual yet,

Well, memorize it
and get back to me,

But by then it will be too late,

And a lot of people's Christmases
will be ruined forever



- and l'll never get my wings--
- All right, All right,

Just stop talking
and show me what you got,

And it better be good,

Here we come a-caroling
Among the leaves so green

Miriam, Where are we?

This is West Beverly High
and those kids walking down the hall

are the West Beverly High
Madrigal Singers,

A happy New Year

And God send you
A happy New Year

God bless the master of this house
Likewise the mistress too

That's David Silver
with the video camera,

And that's his girlfriend,
Donna Martin,

an angel on earth
if ever there was one,

Oh, l just love the holidays,



l remember when l was a little girl,
we used to sing--

- Miriam,
- Sorry, Moving on,

Now here's Dylan and Kelly
and Brenda

and they are the best of friends,

Hello, guys,
wrapping presents today?

Oh, sorry.
Here comes Geraldo Junior.

Bren, you got a minute
for an interview?

- Sure.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, Bren.

So all the money we've raised
has gone to buy these toys for the kids

at the Alvarado Street
Elementary School,

and which Santa's helpers have been
busy wrapping for the past two weeks.

Oh, don't forget to say
this is a West Beverly tradition.

That's our senior class liaison for
this year's adopt-a-school programme.

Take it away, Donna.

No, that's okay,
l don't have anything else--

These kids have problems?

They're too good-looking
to have problems,

Well, according to section 1 6B
of the manual:

''Physical appearance should not be
used to determine worthiness, ''

Thank you for explaining
that to me, Miriam,

- l was just making a comment,
- Sorry,

'Twas the day before midterms
And all through the school

The teachers were jamming
The students were cool

- Who are they?
- The editors of the school newspaper,

The Blaze staff kicked butt
To put the paper to bed

While visions of vacations
Danced in their heads

For the record,
l just want to make it clear,

they did not learn this
in Honours English.

We did.

A troublemaker, huh?

Well, Steve gets into his fair share
of trouble,

but he's the only one
l'm not worried about,

You know, l walk into that detention

and my watch stops.
Time stands still.

lt's lethal in there.

Well, we finished wrapping the gifts for
the Alvarado Street kids in record time.

Now all we need is a Santa.

Hey, don't look at me.
l'm covering the event for the Blaze.

l'm taping the whole thing,
so you can count me out.

Donna, you know l'd love to do it

but l'm barred from all school
activities until the end of time.

That leaves only one person, Donna.

Dyl-wig.

''Ho!'' like a Santa.

No. No. No.

Nice group of kids, don't you think?

What l think is you're
wasting my time,

These kids don't need any help,

Well, sure, they look fine there

but that was two days ago,
Look at them now,

Deck the hall with boughs of holly

What's wrong with them?

Not them, Them,

- Yeah, they don't look so festive,
- See?

- l told you,
- So?

lt's a routine example
of seasonal apathy and depression,

Happens all the time
during the holidays,

The man upstairs doesn't have time
for a bunch of self-absorbed kids

- and neither do l,
- Wait, Clarence, come on,

This is much more serious
than you think,

At least give me a chance
to make a presentation,

Oh, please,

You know, l'm missing
Circus Of The Stars for this,

Once you see the bigger picture,
you'll be hooked, l promise,

Just give me the highlights,

Save the rest for the reunion movie,

Okay, well, let's go back a couple
of days,

Brandon and Andrea
are the editors of the newspaper,

l know who they are, Miriam,

So, Andrea, what's the lead story
in your special Christmas edition?

An exclusive interview
with Ms. Claus.

lt is the Year of the Woman
up in the North Pole.

Don't mind her, she's on a roll.

What can l say, l lost my crutches
and l regained my sense of humour.

Now, this phone call is
from her grandma,

See, she lives
with her grandmother so she--

Let me listen,

Hello. West Beverly Blaze.

Did you open it?
No. Don't, open it, Grandma.

lt's a letter from Yale.

Look, is it a thick envelope,
or a thin envelope?

Thanks for calling, Grandma.

Yeah, have a good kaluki game.
l'll see you when you get home, okay?

Okay, great.

Thin envelope, huh?

Well, at least there was a letter
from Jay, the mail's not all that bad.

Hey, you don't know
what it says yet.

Look, Gil, we all know that
a thick envelope means you got in,

and a thin envelope means
''We regret to inform you, but...''

Yeah, but that's what they
should say in your case, right?

No way. They must have a different
system for early admission.

l bet they just took one look
at her application and said, ''Reject.''

l'll bet you she got accepted.

How much?

You wanna bet me?

For money?

No, we should let Andrea
set the stakes.

We should let Andrea
jump off a bridge.

l think we should go to Andrea's
house right now and check this out

before you leap to any conclusions.
What do you say?

l can't open it.

- l can't.
- Fine, l'll open it.

No.

Okay. No. You know what,
l'm gonna open Jay's letter first.

Andrea, open the letter.

Okay. Okay, l'm gonna do it.

Here goes nothing.

l can't handle this.

So, what does it say?

''Congratulations.''

lt says congratulations.

That's fantastic.
What did l tell you, huh?

You see, you're a Yalie now.
One of the cultural elite.

How does that feel?

l can't wait, l gotta tell Meyers.

- He's gotta pay up on his bet.
- Good.

l'm gonna make him shave his beard.
See what he looks like in the nude.

l gotta call Jay.

He secretly didn't want me
to get into Yale,

he wanted me to
go to Northwestern with him.

Or end up in California University
with me.

Yeah, well, that was
my safe school, is all.

l can't believe this.
Do you realise this puts you in, like,

the top one percent
of all intelligent life on the planet?

This is outstanding.

So, what's the Jay-man say?

Andrea?

Talk about having no class.

What kind of guy breaks up with
his girlfriend by sending her a letter?

A coward.

You know, l never liked Jay.

You didn't like Jay
because he's a Young Republican.

That had nothing to do with it.

Well, maybe it had
a little to do with it.

But, you know, l always just knew
that he was wrong for Andrea.

Of course, l never said anything,

because l didn't wanna seem
like l was being--

- Jealous?
- Bitter?

Petty?

Thank you, family, for my warm
holiday character profile.

You won't mind
if l chop down your tree.

Come on, Brandon,
we were just teasing you.

We know that you and Andrea
have always had a special relationship.

Well, in case you haven't noticed,

Nikki and l have
an even more special relationship.

Yeah, we've noticed.

You mean, Brandon and Brenda
are brother and sister?

- They're twins,
- Why didn't you say so?

Because you kept telling me
to shut up,

Well, in a nice way, of course,

Hi.

Can't beat Christmas
at the Walsh house.

Come in.

Wow, what a pretty tree.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

- Let's study.
- No, l wanna trim the tree.

Oh, come on, Bren,
anything beats studying.

Come on in.
This one's broken, skip it.

Yo. Did you guys hear
that Andrea got into Yale?

Don't you just love the Walshes?

- Nice family, Good values,
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Tell me about the blond,

Does she have something going
with the guy with the sideburns?

Well, not exactly, lt's more
of a three-way, triangular sort of thing,

So how come you didn't tell me
about them earlier?

Because l started
with Brandon and Andrea,

Now, can l go on, please?

You're coming back to this
triangle thing, right?

Yes, Clarence,

But first we have to go back
to the teacher who lost his bet,

West Beverly offers many exciting
elective courses, such as Shaving 1 03,

for the hygienically inclined.

Okay, l pay my debts,
but this is ridiculous.

Okay, l changed my mind,
you don't have to shave it off.

- Now you tell me.
- No, actually it's a good look for you.

lt goes perfectly
with your split personality.

- Funny.
- Now, is this the kind of nutty banter

that goes on at Yale?

No, all the real funny stuff
is done in Latin.

You better start boning up, Andrea.

lf you don't mind,
l'll finish shaving in the bathroom.

See you, Gil.

- Take care, Gil.
- Thanks, Andrea.

David, what's wrong?
You're so quiet.

l don't know.
l just sort of feel out of it.

Why?

Well, Andrea's the first.

But everyone will be getting
into their colleges

and l'll be left here by myself
in high school.

Jay's got pretty good timing, huh?

l used to think getting into Yale
was my heart's desire.

Oh, well.

So you wanna go
to the movies tonight?

l can't, Nikki's due in from
San Francisco in a couple of hours.

And you two wanna be alone?

Well, we've got a little
catching up to do.

Oh, hey, don't worry. No one's
coming in. l've got them well trained.

Brandon, have you--?

- l'm sorry.
- Mom.

- l'm really sorry.
- No, it's okay. No problem.

Thanks, Mom.

Sorry about that.

- Brandon--
- You know,

l really missed you.

l missed you too.

Thanks.

You know, you didn't call me back
last weekend. l was a little worried.

Well, l wanted to talk
to you in person.

lt was really intense up there.

You said you were
getting along with your parents.

l did.

That's the problem.

What do you mean?

Well, with Diesel out of the picture,
it was like old times.

We were really a family again.

So...?

So,

l'm moving back home, Brandon.

Really.

- When?
- Tomorrow.

They want me home for the holidays

and l've got a lot of school stuff
to straighten out up there.

l had to come back and get my stuff

and see you again.

And say thank you.

And wish you a merry Christmas.

- l didn't see that coming,
- You ain't seen nothing yet,

Well, he'll be okay,

There's a lot of fish in the sea,
he'll have plenty of girlfriends,

Not if he gets on that bus,

Brandon, do you have any pull
with the yearbook editor?

Because l have two nominations
for ''Most Conniving.''

Kelly Taylor and Dylan McKay.

l'm really not in the mood
for this right now.

Or what about for the category of
''Most Deceitful'' or ''Most Disloyal''?

Let me guess.

Are you feeling the sting
of rejection?

Brandon, don't make fun of me.

l know it's been a while,
but l'm sure you know how it feels.

Oh, yeah.

lt's been a while,

like about 90 minutes.

- What?
- lt seems Nikki just broke up with me.

Brandon, l'm sorry.

lt's better for her.

She's moving back up north
with her parents.

Long-distance relationships
never work out anyway.

So you just broke up?

Bran, San Francisco's
not that far away.

Yeah, she thought it would be best.

So,

what did Dylan and Kelly
do this time?

l thought you guys were like
the Three Musketeers these days.

So did l,

They were all getting along so well,

She is talking about that pretty
blond and the other guy, right?

lt's Kelly and Dylan,

You could at least have their names
straight by now,

And you could remember
who you're talking to

or you might end up doing
this presentation in a black hole,

l'm sorry, There's just a lot
at stake here

and l've never done this before
and it's complicated,

All right, slow down, you're doing fine,
just back up a little bit,

Okay, this was a few nights ago,

They got together
to talk things over,

l'm sure you're wondering why
we both wanted to meet with you.

l thought you wanted
to buy me some pie.

Yeah, humble pie.

- My favourite kind.
- Seriously.

l don't know about you,

but for me, these past few weeks
have been a nightmare.

l mean, we are at each other's
throats, we're arguing all the time,

- we can't trust one another.
- lt hasn't been a picnic.

And that's why
l've gotta make a change.

Dylan, we both love you.

We both find you very attractive.

And very sexy.

And appealing.

What exactly are you two
suggesting here?

This kid has seen
too many French movies,

Maybe you've seen
too many French movies,

l think we should all stop trying
to hide our mutual feelings.

Admit how we all feel
and agree to be friends.

- Good friends.
- Platonic friends.

l see.

Dylan, you don't wanna be tied down
right now, you've said so yourself.

And we could all use
a cooling-off period.

- That way none of us will get hurt.
- And we're all in the same boat.

So, what do you think?

l think l love you both.

And l wanna keep it that way.

- Good.
- That was easy.

To friendship.

Wasn't that lovely?

Should have known we'd end up
with a Disney picture,

To continue,

Their arrangement
worked wonderfully at first,

They really gave it the old college--
High school try,

And they all enjoyed
spending time together

until that fateful night when Dylan
and Kelly came over to trim the tree,

Am l the only one who thinks
Shakespeare is boring?

Yes.

- Well, the language is so dated.
- How can you say that?

l mean, okay, let's say you're
at your local mall,

somebody's hassling you,
you say to them:

A pox o' your throat, you bawling,
blasphemous, incharitable dog!

- Yes.
- Thank you, William Shakespeare.

- Does anybody else want a soda?
- Oh, l do.

Yes wench, bring it forth.

Coming right up, my lord.

lf it would be possible
for you to give me 2 4 hours,

- to think it over,
- Sure, Sure, sure,

You go on home
and talk about it to your wife,

- l'd like to,
- Yeah,

lt's A Wonderful Life,
l love this movie.

How can you not?
lt's an American classic.

lt's A Wonderful Life?

- Never heard of it,
- Me either,

l don't need 2 4 hours,
l don't have to talk to anybody,

l know right now
and the answers no, No,

Cary Grant is so amazing in this.

Yes, only it's Jimmy Stewart.

ln the whole vast configuration
of things l'd say

you were nothing
but a scurvy little spider,

And that goes for you too,

What's that for?

lt's for nothing.
lt's just a friendly gesture.

Friendly?

Very friendly.

l take it this is where
their arrangement begins to unravel?

Not exactly,

- l'm sorry.
- Oh, l'm sorry. l started it.

Yeah, well, you know it's just,
it's a habit.

Yeah, a little backsliding's normal.

lt just takes some getting used to.

- Right.
- Because we are just friends, Dylan.

- Right.
- Right.

Yeah.

So the next day,
they all went to the Peach Pit,

Donna just couldn't believe we were
all being so mature about this thing.

But l just told her, our friendship
is really important to us.

Absolutely.
So finish telling me about David.

His mom just decided to move
to Portland, Oregon.

Why Portland?

Because it's a thousand miles away
from his dad, l guess.

l'm gonna go check on him.

Look, Dylan, about last night.

Bren, you don't have
to say anything.

We probably should not
even mention it again.

Good. Because it was
a one-time deal.

Absolutely. l just wanna make sure
that you know that.

- Well, accidents do happen.
- Right.

Right.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi.

Hey, Dave, l'm sorry about
your mom, man.

Oh, that's okay.
lt was just kind of sudden.

l got to her house and all my stuff
was packed up in boxes.

- That's rough.
- Yeah.

Listen, l don't know
if l'm gonna be up to videotaping

the trip to Alvarado Street tomorrow.

Don't worry, l'll help you.

And you are going to make
a great St. Nick.

- Brenda.
- Come on, Dylan.

You can be a jolly fat man
for a couple of hours

without destroying your image.

Donna and l have to go back
to school

to sign off on the final details
for tomorrow

and we'd like to put you down
as Santa.

Don't do it.

We'll put you down as a maybe.

Do you wanna come with us?

No. l'm going home with Kelly.
l'll call you later.

- And l'll call you later.
- Okay.

Work on him, Kell.

Oh, l plan on it.

So this is where their arrangement
hit the skids?

Well, no, not exactly,

Dylan, why are you being
so stubborn?

Oh, Kelly, listen,

do you really think that any of those
little kids are gonna believe

that a slim young guy like me
in a red suit is Santa Claus?

Well, some of them will.

l mean, when l was 6,
l went to the mall to see Santa Claus

and l was in heaven
and he was Chinese.

l never believed in Santa Claus.

Well,

that explains everything.

What can l say?

Come on, l bet you'd look really hot
in a red suit.

You're being very persistent.

Well, l promised Brenda
l'd do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes?

Nothing might have come of it

if Brenda hadn't decided
to surprise Dylan

by bringing the Santa costume over
to his house to try it on for size,

- Surprise, Surprise,
- Exactly,

l know what you're gonna say.

And you can bet it ain't
''Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas,'' Dylan.

Bren, come on in here,
let's talk about it.

So you can have a real
menage a trois? Dream on.

- Brenda, let's talk about this, okay?
- There is nothing to talk about.

One picture
is worth a thousand words.

Don't go away mad.

- Now why would l be mad?
- Bren, it just happened.

Oh, like it just happened
with me yesterday?

What?

Hey, look, l mean, we're all human,
all of us, you said that.

What just happened
with you yesterday?

l don't know about you guys,
but it's really cold out here.

Give me that suit.

Oh, no, you brought it over here,
l'm trying it on.

Why? So you can sit us
on your lap

and ask us what we want
in our stocking?

When yesterday, did this just
happen? l'd really like to know.

Look, would you just relax, the both of
you, okay? Because nothing happened.

- Okay? Nothing happened.
- That did not look like nothing to me.

You told me to convince him
to play Santa.

Oh, Kelly,
not by any means necessary.

lt was just a friendly little kiss,
at first.

Yeah, l know that routine.

He did the same thing to you?

Whoa, hey, hold on a minute.

Brenda, you started it,
don't try to deny it.

Swell.

Look, just take that thing off.
You look ridiculous.

You know, what is ridiculous is us
trying to fool ourselves into thinking

- that we could ever be friends.
- You can say that again.

Hey, hey, what do you want from
me? Look, you tell me you love me.

You tell me that l'm attractive,
you hug me, you kiss me.

What in heaven's name
do you expect?

Seems to be a question for you, sir,

Don't look at me like that, Miriam,

l can see this is heating up,

- Donna, l need to talk to you.
- What's up?

Look, Dylan and Kelly
cannot go to the school with us.

Why not?

Because we're not speaking
to each other, that's why not.

- Again? What happened now?
- Nothing happened.

All l know is l worked hard
on this project,

l should have some say
as to who gets to go.

You know that's not the way it works.
Besides, who's gonna be Santa?

Fine. lf you think those two
are more valuable than me,

- just cross my name off the list.
- Brenda.

- Hey, Donna, listen--
- Dylan. How'd the Santa suit fit?

That's just it, it didn't.
l looked like a stewed tomato.

Oh, l am sure you looked fine.

l don't think l'm going
on this little expedition of yours.

Oh, Dylan, please don't say that.

Hey, l'm sorry,
we go to a school one day,

we play white knight to some
underprivileged kids,

what kind of difference is that
gonna make?

Well, l'm sorry you feel that way.

Donna.

Listen, Don, l'm not feeling
very good, okay?

Kelly, you look fine.

Put me on a bus
with Brenda and Dylan

and watch me get sick
to my stomach.

You don't have to worry
about that

because Brenda already told me
she's not going because you are.

She did? Well, you can just give her
a little message for me.

Tell her that she can have the bus
to herself, because l won't be on it.

- Kelly.
- Donna.

David, l am so glad to see you.
You cannot believe what is going on.

Everyone is backing out on me.

l'm afraid l'll have to take
a pass also.

David, look, l know you're upset
about your mom and l understand that.

But you don't have to film it
if you don't want to.

The most important thing
is you being there.

But if l'm not gonna tape it, there's
really no reason for me to be there.

David.

l need you.

Listen, Donna, this is a senior
class thing and l'm not a senior.

Let's face it,
haven't l been tagging along

with you and your friends
long enough?

Look, l'll see you later.

And l hope everything goes okay.

- Hey, Donna.
- Steve.

Did you get permission
to come with us today?

No way. They don't want a juvenile
delinquent serving as a role model.

Well, what if you went in disguise?

We could smuggle you on the bus
and they would never be the wiser.

You mean, red suit, floppy hat,
white beard?

Yeah, l would if l could,
but l'm sorry.

- Yeah. l gotta go.
- See you.

- Andrea. Hi.
- Hi, Donna.

- Have you seen Brandon?
- No. Not recently.

Oh, well, l was hoping you could
help me talk him into being Santa?

l don't think l carry much weight
on that score.

ln fact, l was gonna tell you l can't go.

Come on, you are the last person
l would expect to flake out on me.

Look, l'm not flaking out
on you, okay?

lt's for charity, for heaven's sake.

Look, l happen to do
a lot of work with volunteer causes.

l see, so now that you got
into Yale you don't really care

what goes on your record?

That's a nice thing to say.

You're right, l'm sorry.

l am just getting desperate here.

Can you please,
please help me out, Andrea?

The truth is, l just think Brandon
and l need a little time apart, okay?

- Brandon and you?
- Donna.

You're gonna have to do this
without me.

Sorry.

ls someone trying to tell me
something here?

Donna.

Brandon, l cannot take
any more bad news

so please don't tell me you're not
coming with us.

Okay, so who do l tell?

How can you do this to me?

l know its last minute, l'm sorry--

Brandon, please.
You're the only friend l have left.

Donna, the last couple days
have been really tough for me, okay?

And l'm really not in a festive holiday
sort of mood.

l'd just be a downer.

So fake it. lt will not kill you.

Donna. Get ahold of yourself.

Brandon, the bus is leaving
in half an hour.

How come everyone thinks they
can drop out at the last minute?

l can't speak for anybody else,

but Gil Meyers is the faculty
sponsor. He let me off the hook.

Well, Gil Meyers is not in charge
of this event.

Oh, yeah? So who is?

lf you had given us sufficient notice,

perhaps your spaces on the bus
could have been filled

from the long waiting list of students

who would've been happy to join us
at the Alvarado Street School today.

But at this point, unless you have
a note from your doctor saying

that you have pneumonia--
And l wanna see that chest x-ray.

--l expect to see each and every one
of your smiling faces on that bus.

And l mean immediately.

lf not sooner. Move.

So now that l've brought
you up to date--

- Not,
- Excuse me?

This Brandon and Andrea situation,
l don't understand,

Oh, l'm sorry,

You see, you were so interested
in that Kelly-Dylan-Brenda affair,

l left out a whole section,

Last night,
after Nikki dropped her bombshell,

Brandon went over
to the Peach Pit,

What is it with me, Nat?

Every time l get involved
with a woman, it just falls apart.

l must have bad relationship karma
or something.

Oh, come on, Brandon, girls throw
themselves at you all the time.

Another one will come along
soon enough.

- Hi, Nat.
- Andrea.

- How are you?
- Andrea.

- l'll bag your order in a minute.
- Thanks.

Brandon, where's Nikki?

We had a little change in plans.
l'm on my own tonight.

Hey, you still wanna
catch a flick tonight?

l'd love to, l have to baby-sit.

That's too bad.

You can keep me company
if you want.

Nice house, big-screen TV.

Sure, what the hell.

Hey, watch your mouth, kid,

Heck, l mean, what the heck.

Maxine's asleep. Right on schedule.

l'm serious! We must be good!

l love this movie.

Yeah, me too.
l just saw it last night.

- Well, we can watch something else.
- No. That's fine.

l could watch this movie
a hundred times, it'd still get to me.

This is a present
from a very dear friend of mine,

Look, Daddy, teacher says,
every time a bell rings

an angel gets his wings,

That's right,

That's right,

Attaboy, Clarence,

- l needed a good cry.
- Yeah, me too.

You know,
that's what l love about you.

You're just a sentimentalist at heart.

And what else
do you love about me?

You know, l don't know what
my life would've been like

if you guys hadn't moved here.

Well, you'd be editor of the paper
and you'd be going to Yale.

Yes, but would l have been happy?

Or would l have just been some social
outcast with calluses on the brain?

That's entirely possible.

You know, when l was dating Jay,

l couldn't help but remember
that day last summer

when l just started seeing him

and you were trying to convince me
to stay at the Beach Club.

- Yeah.
- You were expressing your feelings.

Yes, and l can still recall the sting
of your response.

Well, you know what they say,

timing is everything.

l can't believe you.

- What? What'd l do?
- You were thinking of Nikki.

- You don't think l knew that.
- You were thinking about Jay.

- Oh, so now we're even?
- No, that doesn't make us even

because l never even liked Jay.
ln fact, l'm not only insulted,

l'm disgusted.

- Why did you stop it?
- Well, from there on it gets ugly,

So now that you've gotten
all the background,

Yeah, l see the dilemma,

They got sidetracked
with their personal problems,

No, excuse me,
but you don't know the real danger,

Their bus is on a collision course
with a truck,

l fixed that already,
l got that truck rerouted,

But l didn't even tell you
about it yet,

l took the liberty
of skipping ahead a few pages,

- But how did you fix it?
- lt wasn't easy,

lt's a complicated move and you can
only use it one time per catastrophe,

Craig Clemons is on the 405
to Long Beach as we speak,

Craig Clemons?
Who cares about Craig Clemons?

Greg Clemons is the guy
driving that other truck,

- Which other truck?
- That other truck,

Oh, so this guy,
Greg Clemons, is still--

On the road to eternity,

And so are those kids,

- Gil.
- Steve.

Welcome to the Alvarado Street
Elementary School.

What's the matter?

Bus ain't good enough for you?

Hey, Mrs. Teasley's not around,
is she?

Oh, yeah.

Aren't you violating some West
Beverly penal code by being here?

Big time, but l was hoping the spirit
of charity would move Mrs. Teasley

and she'd let me stay.

What the heck, she can't give me any
more detention than she already has.

- Are you from the high school?
- Are you?

Yeah, are you?

l'm from the high school. They'll be
here in a while with lots of presents.

Shouldn't they be here by now?

l mean, l raced over from
my teachers' meeting.

l guess. l don't know.
They must have left late.

What's up, man?

Can't you make the truck stop
or turn left or something?

Hey, l'm good,
but l'm not a miracle worker,

Well, then don't you think it's time
to call upstairs?

- Absolutely not,
- Well, why?

You don't want any of them to know
how badly you botched this up?

Don't blame me,
lt's their own fault the bus left late,

Oh, Clarence, Look at that guy,

We have to do something,

l'm sorry, Miriam, l know how badly
you want your wings,

but l'm afraid we'll have to let
destiny run its course,

Are those people
ever gonna quit singing?

l happen to like the singing.

You would.

Why are you always picking on her?

Why don't you stay out of it?

There's such a thing
as over rehearsing, Kelly.

- Yes, and you are the music critic.
- He's allowed to have an opinion.

lf he doesn't have one,
he can get one from you.

Hey, relax, will you?

Who died and left you boss?

While l sing of Yuletide treasure

So you guys mellowed out
back here?

This is not gonna work out.

Donna, we tried to warn you.

Yeah, this group is not cut out
to be the ambassadors of good will.

So the only thing you can agree on
is that you don't wanna be here?

That's just great.

So, what do you propose to do,
stay on the bus and sulk?

None of us wanted to be
on this bus, remember?

How could l forget?

Look, we will pass out the presents.

That doesn't mean
we have to enjoy it.

Yeah and l'm not gonna wear
a red suit.

You know what, you guys?
That is not good enough.

lf there's one day out of the whole
year to stop thinking about ourselves,

then this is it.

And regardless of who gets
to wear the red suit,

this is the time to be jolly
and loving and generous.

Not cynical and moody and petty.

And if you guys can't stop

and appreciate all the positive things
you have in your life

and just how lucky that you are
to be here,

then you might as well get off
the bus right now.

Way to go, Donna,

Not a bad idea there, kids, You
could get off the bus anytime now,

So how did Donna get so profound
all of a sudden? Anybody?

Well, l think Christmas
brings out the best in her.

And the worst in us.

Not necessarily.

You never

really liked Jay, huh?

No, l guess l was jealous.

And l guess l was jealous
of Nikki, Brooke and Emily, right?

Yeah, l got the picture.

You know, we could put aside
our differences for one afternoon.

Or maybe even
through the weekend.

Or we could be really big about it
and go for New Year's.

Donna,

l brought my camera so if the
Madrigals want to sing another chorus,

l can tape it.

She was too persuasive
for her own good,

l can't bear to watch,

Here we go, Simon says,
put your hands on your elbow.

Simon says, put your hands down.
Simon says, hop on one foot.

Hop on the other foot.

You all made it.

- How we doing over here?
- l don't know.

Simon says, stop jumping.

Wait, l think l see them.

Well, it's about time.

Yeah, that's them.

Tis the season to be jolly

- Oh, dear,
- Better not look, Miriam,

Just close your eyes
and it'll be over in a minute,

Hey, this truck's going the wrong way
on a one-way street.

Hey. You're going the wrong way.
You're going the wrong way.

Stop!

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one,

- How did you do that?
- l didn't,

- You mean it was--
- A higher power,

- Well, we sure are glad you made it.
- Yeah, we almost bailed, man.

Somebody up there
must really like you.

No, the one we ought to thank
is right over there.

Whoa. Hey, slow down, man, you're
gonna hit your head on the jungle gym,

You'll get a big hematoma,
l had one when l was your age.

- Hi, Mrs. Teasley.
- Steven.

This is Dylan's department.

Here, now,

it's very easy.
lt's all in the wrist, okay?

Oh, my Lord. Good job.

- She's like a pro.
- You probably knew that.

You know, Donna,

if l load up on required courses,

like l'd planned on doing
last summer,

l could finish early
and graduate with your class.

That's great. But when will we ever
get to see each other?

When we graduate.

You girls never decorated
my cookies that good.

Dylan, Kelly and l have been talking.

Always a dangerous trend.

You see, this Three Musketeers
thing was a bad idea.

- So we've decided on a new plan.
- Wait, you've decided?

Yep, you can't have your cookie
and eat it too.

So you've got to decide

which of us you wanna be with
on New Year's Eve.

Or else.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go
tell Santa what we want for Christmas.

Goodbye.

Did you hear that?

You know, they say every time
a bell rings,

it means an angel
is getting her wings.

Oh, how cute.

Oh, Clarence,
are these wings for me?

You did good, Miriam,

Thank you, Clarence,

Don't thank me,
Thank you know who,