Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 1, Episode 19 - April Is the Cruelest Month - full transcript

As Brandon interviews Roger, the school's tennis star, he discovers that Roger's golden-boy appearance hides deeper demons. When the gang gets their SAT scores back, Donna becomes deflated by her low SAT score, which reveals her l...

How many of those things
do you go through a week?

Depends whose face I see on the ball.

- Wood, huh?
- Yeah.

- Bjorn Borg used a racquet like this.
- I'm impressed.

Then again, you're an impressive guy.
Lettered in three sports,

straight-A student, debating team,
environmental awareness program,

you interned
at the Governor's office last summer.

Yeah. Listen, Walsh,
I told you, no interviews.

You know, Borg didn't become a star
until he started talking to the press.

You got to learn how to take the heat.

Okay. You got it.



- You're kidding.
- No.

Just make sure to spell my name right.

No problem. Thanks.

So whose face is it?

- What?
- On the ball.

Who are you trying to clobber?

- It's 1:00. I've got to call home.
- Would you just relax?

Yeah. I heard you get 200 points
just for writing your name on the SAT.

- That's only if you spell it right.
- Oh, that's funny. Really.

You know, there's nothing funny
about SATs.

Our whole college careers
hang in the balance.

- Aren't you guys even worried?
- Yes, I'm worried.

Fred Segal's having a sale.

I just know by the time we get there,
everything in a size two will be gone.



Of all the seniors graduating
from West Beverly this year,

which one would you most like to see
in the Senior Spotlight?

- Roger Azarian.
- Done.

No way. You got an interview
with Roger Azarian?

- Way to go, Ace.
- I thought you'd be pleased.

Well, keep it tight. No fluff.

I want to know
what makes a guy like that tick.

- Steve, just the man I was looking for.
- Hey, Brandon. What's up?

You got the scoop on everybody.

You know anything
about Roger Azarian?

What's to know? He'll probably get
a Rhodes Scholarship,

marry Miss America,
and run for President.

Sounds like a perfect specimen.

Being a perfect specimen is easy
when you're George Azarian's son.

How'd he make all his money, anyway?

Self-made, he started at the bottom.
Now he owns half of Orange County.

He's got houses
in New York, Hawaii, France.

A couple of hotels on Park Place
and Boardwalk?

Yeah, but this isn't Monopoly money.

You know,
my mom used to date this guy

when he owned the Apollo Studios.

Now, if she'd had married him,
I'd had a shot at Stanford.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Word has it that he built a library
up there just so old Rog will get in.

Wonder what it'd take
to get my dad to do that for me?

About 10 million bucks.

$14.38.

$32.20.

- Where is it?
- What?

- Mom!
- Oh.

I believe this is what you're looking for.

- I can't.
- Brenda, would you just open it?

I have to be alone.

- Taxes?
- How'd you guess?

- Why don't you just hire an accountant?
- I married one.

You know T.S. Eliot was right.
April is the cruelest month.

- I don't believe this. 1190.
- Oh, how nice!

- Let me see that.
- 630 math and 560 verbal.

- Girl, you're in UCLA so easy.
- Or U of Minnesota.

- I have to see Brandon's.
- Oh, no way.

Mom, I know he did better than me.

Could we get out of here?
I really have to go.

Honey, I think maybe the girls want to
get home, see their own scores.

Oh, sure. Right, okay, go on, leave.
Just call me.

Don't worry. You'll be the first to know.
Pacoima Junior College here I come.

- Looking for something?
- Sorry. I was just...

No, no, it's okay. It's okay.

It's a Walther PPK.
It used to belong to Dashiell Hammett.

Wow.

My parents wouldn't even allow toy guns
in the house.

Well, that's no toy.

My father taught me how to shoot it
when I was six years old.

We used to go out in the backyard
for target practice.

- Six? Isn't that a little young?
- Survival of the fittest, Walsh.

It's kill or be killed.

You talking about the jungle
or Beverly Hills?

Same difference.

$10,647 on non-deductible interest.

To say nothing
of all these entertainment expenses.

Okay, so we'll cut back.

What are you so worried about?
We're doing fine.

- I just hate this time of year.
- You want me to help?

Okay, I'll help. I promise.

You say that every year.

And then you go off and you solve
the tax problems of corporate America,

and I'm the one who has to handle
the shoeboxes from hell.

- Is Brandon home yet?
- No, he's not, honey.

Where is he?

What's with her?

Their SAT scores came today.

She's just dying to beat
Brandon's score.

- I wonder who did better.
- Oh, Jim.

- Five bucks says...
- No way. I will not bet on my children.

Hey, thanks for the tour, man.

Hope I wasn't rude to ask,

but I've never seen a place
like this before.

- Big enough for two people, you think?
- Who, your mom and dad?

So, what do you want to know
for this piece you're writing?

- Oh. Well, I thought we'd start with...
- No tape.

Excuse me?

It's just, the recorder
makes me feel uncomfortable so...

Well, it's just for accuracy.

But if you're not cool with it,
I'll just work from my notes.

- Roger.
- Dad.

Dad, this is Brandon Walsh,
from the school paper.

I'm going to be featured
in the Senior Spotlight.

- It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
- Brandon, huh?

Always good to see the Azarian name
in print.

Roger, I had lunch today at the club
with Pete Garrison.

He's an old fraternity brother.
Stanford Admissions.

- Dad, I told you not to.
- Don't worry, it's under control.

Oh, I mentioned your screenplay to Sol,

and he said he'd be glad to have
somebody at the agency give it a read.

If I can't call in some favors
for my own son,

who can I do it for, right?

Dad, can we talk about this later?

Don't worry, it's entirely off the record.
Right, Brandon?

Yes, sir.

Have a good interview.

You actually wrote a screenplay?

Every busboy in Hollywood
has a screenplay under his arm.

- Can I read it?
- No one's read it.

What about your father?
He said he was gonna get you an agent.

He doesn't have to read it
to get me an agent.

- He just has to pull strings.
- But you don't want him to.

Hey, this is supposed to be
a story about me, right?

- Not my dad.
- Sorry.

So, you really want to see it?

- Sure. I mean, I'm no critic or anything.
- No, just tell me what you think.

- Great. You're home.
- So I'm home.

Well, your sister's been rather anxious
for you to open this.

SAT scores. I almost forgot.

You're not gonna tell us?
He has to tell us, doesn't he?

Well, it's between Brandon
and the college of his choice.

- No way.
- Okay. Okay.

1190. Beat that.

You're kidding, right?

What's so funny?

I got 630 math, 560 verbal.

560 math, 630 verbal.

- Twins. True to form.
- It's gross.

It's wonderful.

I didn't know
Roger Azarian wrote a screenplay.

Brenda, put that down.

- Is that any relation to George Azarian?
- Yeah, I'm doing a profile on his son.

You got to hand it to a guy like that.

First generation. Son of an immigrant.

Now he's one of the richest guys
in the country.

Hey, Brenda, come on,
he gave this to me.

I don't think
he wants anyone else to read it.

Brandon, don't be ridiculous.
Screenplays are meant to be read.

Out loud, preferably.

Okay, let's see.

I will be Janine, and you can be Robert.

"Fade in on exterior
Beverly Hills Mansion. Day.

"A major Tudor, north of Sunset.

"Sprawling grounds, pool.

"Robert hops out of his Porsche."
Doesn't Roger have a Porsche?

"Janine, a gorgeous
Twin Peaksy blonde,

"kisses him with all the pent-up passion
of her 16 years."

Give me a break.

"Cut to the swimming pool. Day.

"Robert and Janine are drying off
after a swim,

"her bikini revealing just enough
to command Robert's full attention."

"Let's go back to the house.
I'm freezing."

"Not the house. He's still there."

"Come on. He's not so bad."

You wouldn't say that
if he was your father.

Well, what can you do?
You can't pick your relatives.

I could kill him.

- Come on, you don't mean that.
- Yes, I do.

- It scares me when you talk like that.
- Yeah. But does it turn you on?

Come on. In here.

No phone. No father.

No interruptions.

- Hello?
- You're not gonna believe this.

- What? Tell me.
- 540 verbal, 510 math. 1050.

Kelly, that is fantastic.

Yeah. I guess
I made some pretty good guesses.

Have you talked to Donna?

Yeah, she said
her scores haven't come in yet.

- Well, that's strange.
- Yeah, she sounded kind of weird.

- Bran, wait for me.
- What?

Not you. Brandon's reading this
screenplay that Roger Azarian wrote.

Oh, God, don't tell her.

Roger wrote a screenplay? Really?

You know him?

Babe, not only do I know him,
but I know him.

- You didn't.
- Yeah.

Then the jerk dumped me
because his father said

I wasn't good enough for him.

Brenda, hang up.
This is getting really weird.

Look, I got to go. Bye.

Listen to this.

"Robert takes the Walther in his palm.

"Fingering the gun almost seductively,
he locks Janine in his gaze.

"This is how I'm gonna do it.
This is how I'm gonna kill my father."

Brandon, you landed an interview
with a guy

who's destined to be one of
the hottest athletes of the '90s,

not to mention one of the richest.

Any sportswriter would kill
to do this story.

I'm not gonna bury it
just because you don't like him.

But I do like him.

He just may not be the golden boy
that everybody thinks he is.

Maybe that's your story. Write it.

When I read it, I'll decide.

Andrea, at Rap Line,
when kids call in with problems,

what do you do?
I mean, what do you say?

Well, if the problem is writer's block,

I say, "Take two aspirin
and call me in the morning."

Thanks, you're a lot of help.

What we do is listen.

That's it?

And try to get across that he or she

isn't the only one
who's ever felt that way.

Thanks.

Anyone I know?

I'm not revealing any sources here.

Roger Azarian?

- Forget it, Andrea.
- Wait a minute.

What kind of trouble is he in? Drugs?

What would you say,
professionally speaking,

if I told you a kid wrote a screenplay
that was very autobiographical,

and on page 37 he says
he wants to kill his father?

I'd say maybe
he should wait until the end of Act 2.

I'm serious, Andrea.

- I think he means it.
- Come on, Brandon.

We all have the urge to kill our parents
once in a while.

Doesn't mean we do it.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh, listen to this one.
Washington and Lee University.

The male/female ratio is 20 to 1.

Sounds like a perfect place
to major in pre-wed.

- What about you, Don?
- What?

- College.
- I don't know.

I mean, we have a long time

before we have to start worrying
about college.

So why start now?

- Did she get her scores yet?
- If she did, she's not talking.

Remember, people,
I want quality, not quantity.

Don't let her fool you. Fill those pages.

- Problem, Kelly?
- No.

Okay. Get started.

- Oh, Mrs Theodore?
- What is it, Donna?

I don't know. My contact.
Something's wrong.

- I got to go to the nurse.
- Sure, go. Be careful.

So, what do you think?

Should I chuck college
and try my fame and fortune

- at being a screenwriter?
- Hey, man. Sit down.

So did you get to
any of the hot sex scenes?

A couple.
I'm only a third of the way through it.

You've got a pretty wild imagination.

Well, truth is stranger
than fiction, Brandon.

- You mean this is true?
- What do you mean?

Nothing. Nothing, it's just...
It's very riveting.

Well, thanks. Thank you.
I'll take that as a compliment.

Listen, I've got season tickets
to the Dodgers.

Box seats? Is this an invitation?

Well, I'm not gonna be around.
So I thought maybe you'd like 'em.

Why me? You trying to buy me off?

Listen, if you don't want 'em,
there's plenty of people who would.

No. No, hey. I didn't mean it that way.

These are great. Thanks.

Maybe if you can change your plans,
we could go together.

So, do you want them or not?

Sure, thanks.

- Yo, Dylan. Dylan.
- Hey, what's up?

- You and your old man.
- My favorite subject.

- You two don't always...
- Fully appreciate each other.

Yeah.

And, with all his money,

and how complicated that's made things
for you...

Brandon, what do you want to ask me?

When things got really bad
between the two of you,

did you ever want to hurt him?

- Why?
- Because, assuming you did,

I need to know what kept you
from going over the edge.

- Really want to know?
- Yeah.

You and your sister,
you keep me from going over the edge.

God, I hate essay questions.

Oh, I like them, 'cause there's really
no right answer, you know.

- I don't believe this.
- What?

Look at Donna.

I mean, first she's ditching class and
now she's lighting up in the parking lot.

- What's gotten into her?
- I don't think it's what's gotten into her.

I think it's what she's getting into.

- Trouble.
- Really.

- What about friends?
- Friends?

My father says
those are the only ones you can't trust.

- Do you always listen to him?
- No.

- You sound angry.
- I won't take orders from him.

Although he thinks
I'd be better off if I did.

What's the point?

It's like I don't exist
except as a reflection of him.

He treats me like one of his assets.

- How do you feel about that?
- How would you feel about that?

I wish he were dead. All right?
Is that what you want to hear?

I wish he were dead!

Is that you, Son?

Oh, I thought it was you.
What is it, Son?

What are you doing?

I know exactly what I'm doing.

Brandon?

Brandon.

It's awfully late, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess
I just lost track of the time.

You've had your nose in that thing
all night. Must be some story.

Yeah.

Some story.

Brandon!

Oh, brother, dear,

why didn't you tell me
you used up all the toothpaste again?

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.

Well, next time, try to remember, okay?
I'm not a very good mind reader.

- Neither am I.
- What is that supposed to mean?

No. I wasn't knocking you.

I was just thinking about this script
that Roger wrote.

Tell me it got even more weird
by the end.

Yeah, it did.
It's really hard for me to relate to it.

What? The script, or Roger?

- He's just very guarded.
- It must be contagious.

What do you mean?

Well, it's the same deal with Donna.
She just won't open up to me.

And I'm supposed to be
one of her best friends.

Maybe we should set them up together.

Hey, Rog.

How's it feel to be heading
for the Best of the West?

Chill, Steve. Let me get in first.

Come on. What school would turn down
a guy with your track record,

- and your father?
- What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Nothing, sorry.

I figured out the two priorities
when we apply for colleges.

- It's either sun or snow.
- What?

University of Hawaii for the beach,
or U of Colorado for the skiing.

Girls. I got your scores. Very well done.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

By the way,
have either of you seen Donna?

No.

Well, if you do, tell her
she missed a meeting with me today.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

- Donna wasn't even at school today.
- Really?

Maybe she had a bad hair day.

Something's going on with her.
I just wish she'd tell us.

Hey, Roger.

- Got a minute?
- Sure.

I'm writing the story tonight.

I want to go over
a couple of last minute questions.

Hop in.

- That's your sister over there, isn't it?
- Yeah.

If our friends in Minneapolis
could see us now.

Yo, Dylan, how about we see
what these clunkers are made of?

No, thanks.
I already know what mine can do.

Suit yourself.

What is he trying to prove?

- Brandon says he's got big problems.
- What that guy's got is a death wish.

- Donna.
- Oh, hi.

Oh, hi? Is that all that you can say?

Didn't you get our messages?

Kelly and I have been calling you
all day.

So you tracked me down here, huh?

No, actually, Dylan's upstairs
picking up a sports coat.

- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing.

Donna, come on.

You've been avoiding us,
you been cutting classes,

you've been hanging out with people

you wouldn't
even have dealt with before.

Yeah, well,
maybe you should get used to it.

Why? What's going on?

While you guys are pledging sororities,
I'll be lucky if I can even get a job.

I'm an idiot, Brenda, a total idiot.

What are you talking about?

What, do you want me
to spell it out for you?

300 math and 320 verbal.

- Oh, my God.
- Are you happy now?

Donna, it's only a test.

Right. Well, it's just like my mom says,

I better find a rich guy to marry me,

'cause I'm too stupid
to take care of myself.

I love this car. You could've killed me,
but I love this car.

Well, I'll leave it to you in my will.

- Hey, I finished your script.
- Oh, yeah? What'd you think?

- Oscar written all over it?
- It's pretty good.

- Thanks.
- There's a lot of real stuff in there.

The character is you, right?

Get real, Walsh.

We'll move 10,000 shares
on the Bourse,

save the rest for the New York Open.

I don't care what they think in Tokyo.
I'm not interested in trading yen.

If they want to swap Deutschmarks,
that's a different story.

Mail here?

Fine. I'll wait for confirmation.

- Walsh, right?
- Yes, sir.

Stanford. It appears a little thin.

What's the matter, Dad?
Afraid we didn't get in?

Why don't you open it?

It means a hell of a lot more to you
than it does to me.

I left my books out in the car. I'm just...

Yeah, give us a few minutes, will you?

- Stay here.
- No, Roger, you don't need me here.

I'm just gonna wait in the hall.

Damn!

You didn't want me to make another gift.

You wanted to do it on your own merit.

- Who did it hurt?
- You tell me.

We tried it your way,
and you didn't cut it.

Now I'm taking over.

I have worked too long
and too hard at this

to let you throw my love for you
back in my face.

Love? This isn't about love.

Listen, can you go home?

I don't think
this is gonna blow over for a while.

Sure. I'll just grab my books
out of your car and walk.

It's not far?

I'm sorry about Stanford.

Oh, that's okay.
I'm sorry you had to see that.

- You gonna be all right?
- Yeah, yeah. Just go home. I'm fine.

Rap Line. This is Andrea.
Can I help you?

Andrea?

Brandon, you know
you're not supposed to call me here.

This isn't personal.
I don't know what to do.

Why? What's wrong?

Roger Azarian has a gun.

You told me
he has a whole collection of them.

Not in his house, Andrea.

He's driving around
with a Walther in his car.

Plus, he just found out
he didn't get into Stanford,

his Dad's freaking out,
and he's upset and...

- Calm down, okay?
- Nobody believes me.

Not Brenda, not the police.
But I really think he's gonna do it.

- He's gonna kill his father.
- You called the police?

- What did they say?
- There's nothing they can do.

Brandon, this is out of my league.

I mean, what makes you so sure
you're right?

I'm not.

But what if I am?

I don't know.
Andrea says you can't help somebody

who doesn't want to be helped.

I respect
what you're trying to do, Brandon,

but you don't even know
if this kid needs help.

You don't know him, Dad.

He's one of those kids you look at,
it seems like he's got it all.

I mean, I wanted everything he had.

The house, the car,
the freshman fan club.

But he's all messed up inside.
I don't know what to do.

I guess the best thing you can do
is talk to him,

tell him what you're thinking.
Maybe he'll open up.

Maybe he needs a friend.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hello? Roger?

Steve, have you seen Azarian?

Excuse me. What?

Roger Azarian. You seen him today?

Did you check the tennis courts?

- What's with him?
- I don't know.

But Donna's not a loser.
You've got to help her.

Brenda, I appreciate your concern,
but it's really not appropriate for me

to be discussing Donna's situation
with you.

Yeah, but it's not fair
that you just write her off.

Who said anything
about writing her off?

In fact,
I'm meeting with her this afternoon

to explore options for her future.

Look, I know
not everybody is college material.

- Brenda.
- But I'm sure her grades

and test scores don't show
how smart she really is.

I agree.
That's why I'm meeting with her today.

Come on, honey, give me a little credit.

- Coach Markham!
- Oh, hiya, Walsh.

You can quote me on this.

We're going to beat
Beverly Hills High School this weekend.

Well, that's great.
Listen, is Azarian playing?

Not if he misses another practice.

- He didn't show up today?
- Nope. Not like him, either.

I've called his house all day. No answer.

He's not home.
He didn't show up for school.

His father's not in his office.

Brandon, this isn't
a Hardy Boys mystery.

What do you think he did?

Chop his father up
and bury him in the backyard?

He's playing some bizarre game
of cat and mouse.

I keep thinking if I look at this
closely enough, I'll find the answer.

You don't even know where he is.

Oh, my God.

"No phones. No father.

"No interruptions."

Cover for me in chemistry.

Sorry.

Dylan, I need your car, man. It's critical.

- No sweat.
- Thanks, buddy.

Be careful.

Now according to your records,
it wasn't until junior high school

that your grades fell off so dramatically.
Do you have any idea why?

- I started noticing guys more.
- Seriously, Donna.

I don't know. I just can't take tests.

But in class you understand?

Sure, but when I sit down
and I have to do it all so fast,

my brain just overloads.

And I go blank.

Look, this is a waste of time.
I obviously just don't have what it takes.

What you may have
is a learning disability.

Great. Just what I need.

No, lots of people
have learning disabilities.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

You're just trying to come up
with another word for stupid.

Well, it won't work.

I just have to accept it.

- I am stupid.
- Donna, listen to me.

It's very possible
that you don't do well on tests

because you have trouble
processing information visually.

Or you might be one of those people
who don't do well with time limits.

Yes, to both.

Well, what we may have to do
is read the questions to you,

and make sure you understand them.
And give you more time on your exams.

- You could do that?
- There's a lot we can do.

If you'll let us try.

Okay.

Roger!

Roger, it's Brandon. Open the door!

Join the party.

- Want a beer?
- No, thanks.

What are you doing with that thing?

Target practice.

Hey, come on, man. Knock it off!

You think if I try real hard,
I can get 'em all?

Come on, put the gun away, Roger.

- I can't. I need it.
- No, you don't.

Look, I know you're angry at your father,
but killing him is not the answer.

I'm not gonna kill my father.

- What about the script?
- It's only a movie, Brandon.

What good would it be, anyway?
I'd still be a failure.

Take a look around you. My whole life
has been, "Can you top this?"

Well, I wanted to show my father
that I could do it,

that I could be just as good as him.

But I can't.

And I never could.

You ever looked down the barrel
of a gun?

Hey, come on, Roger.

Go home, man.
You don't want to see this.

You're right, I don't.

Let me help you, man.

- Let me be your friend.
- Friends? I don't have friends.

I'm your friend, Roger.

Don't do this.

Give me the gun.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, there's some fancy name for it,
but the bottom line is, I'm not a dummy.

- Well, we knew that.
- Yeah.

Anyone who can figure out
"60% off" in their head,

- down to the penny, is no dummy.
- Yeah, well, get this.

They're gonna let me take
a special oral SAT, with no time limit.

- That's great.
- Yep.

So, where do you think I should apply
at college?

I was thinking about back east,
or I could stay here.

- Gentlemen.
- Hey, I've been looking for you.

Next time you take my car, put gas in it.

You loaned him your car?
What, are you crazy?

Sorry. Look, let me make it up to you,
all right?

Dodgers... Box seats! This is today.

Where'd you get these?

From a friend.

Brandon.

You can go on in.
He'll be glad to see you.

- Brandon, thank you.
- It's okay.

Brandon...

We're both getting help.

Hey.

Thanks for coming. Sit down.

- How you feeling?
- Got a pretty mean hangover.

So, tell me,
was life any easier in Minnesota?

Maybe a little.

We used to go to the lakes
on weekends, fish, go camping.

It was cool.

I want you to know
I'm not going to write about any of this.

No. I want you to.

I can't hold it inside any longer.
Maybe it'll help someone, you know?

- You sure?
- Yeah.

That's your story.

So, how come
you're not at the stadium?

I thought maybe we could watch
the game together.

They don't have a TV in here.

Roger,

that's what friends are for.

The Dodgers are trying to fight
their way off of the canvas

here in the bottom of the ninth inning.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a brand new ballgame.