Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 1, Episode 17 - Stand (Up) and Deliver - full transcript

Hey, yo, Ace! Wait up.

You've got a determined look
on your face.

No, what I've got is a proposition.

Your desk or mine, huh?

Look, it came to me
in the middle of the night like a vision.

"Run for office"?

No one even knows me here.

Yeah, but that's perfect. No one
knows you well enough to hate you.

Have a nice day, Andrea.

Brandon, please.

The candidate I was backing
chickened out.



There is no reason we have to let
the popular airheads

run the student government.

Now, are you a candidate or a coward?

Well, at least you weren't snoring
in class.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Maybe you have mono.

Thank you, Dr Donna,
but it's only happening in school.

I don't know.
Well, I'll see you guys later, okay?

Bye.

Hey, a moment of your time?

I'm counting.

I can't take you to the Fallout Club
this weekend.

I have to fly down to Mexico City
and see the old man for a few days.

The old meeting Dad excuse.



Brenda...

Look, I understand. Take me with you.

Yeah, right. Me, you, Dad.

I'm just so bored here.

Poor baby.

Well, look, you can go to the club
and use my name.

They'll let you in.

Yo, politicos.
A last minute dark horse entry

into the junior class
presidential elections.

Brandon Walsh,
the new kid on the West Beverly block.

The sister is always the last to know.

He kind of looks like a politician.
He's got that Kennedy hair...

Yo, Pres!

- It's like a magnet.
- What?

Power.

I can't believe you guys
didn't just honk...

We wanted to congratulate Brandon.

Hi.

What great news!
You know, we've always felt bad about

moving here and screwing up your plans
to run back home.

- Do you think you can pull it off?
- Oh, definitely.

- The other guy's a nobody, too.
- Hey, girls.

- Hi, girls.
- Hi.

No offence.

I've never been friends
with a candidate before.

Friends with a candidate's sister.

Right. I've never even voted.

Well, you got to get involved, Kel.

It's important to try to change things.

I've never thought about that.

I'm gonna go change my jacket.

Congratulations, Brandon.

Brenda.

Brenda, honey, do you know
where the art supplies are?

Sorry.

Mom?

Do you ever feel like a phone call
that's been disconnected?

Honey, it goes with the territory
of being a teenager.

Along with hormone hell, bad driving,

classes that don't relate to life.

Well, don't worry, honey.

I know it sounds hokey, but it's all
part of growing into who you are.

- I just feel like...
- Cindy,

let's get these campaign buttons rolling!

Yes, sir!

Honey, you'll do just fine.

Come on, Brenda,
we're gonna be late for the club.

I feel like I don't belong.

Hi. For you newcomers,
my name is Sky.

Welcome to the coffee house
that doesn't take itself too seriously.

We've got a little bit of everything here,

comedy, poetry, personal confessions.

Talk about not belonging.

We have just walked into Beetle Juice.

Oh, come on, you guys,
this is the hot new place.

But it's so smoky in here.

Basically our motto is,
"If you'll sit through it,

"we'll do just about anything up here."
Anyway, like I said, my name is Sky,

it really is. My parents named me that.
No kidding.

And it gets worse.
My middle name is Blue Yonder.

You see, my dad was in the Air Force,
my mother was a pothead.

I guess that makes me an airhead, huh?

You know something though,
being a GI brat was great training

for being up here,
because in both instances I had to learn

how to make people like me. Fast.

The most grueling part
of my basic training

was switching high schools
in the middle of the year.

I would pray to God that
I wouldn't wind up a POW.

Permanently Outcast Wuss.

Well, I figured it out. In order to survive
the high school trenches,

I had to devise a battle plan and I did.

My strategy was
swift and comprehensive.

First point of attack:
Don't join any cliques.

Join every clique.

That is so true.

It's not that funny.

Anyway, this girl Sara
has the most amazing body.

She's got this citrus thing going.

All she wears is orange.

It's bizarre.

All right, how does this sound, man?

"I'll listen to my student body."

Dude, that's not gonna flush here.

You know what the vice president of
Beverly Hills High School did last year?

He took out a different girl every week.
Know why?

So he could nail their votes.

- That's sick.
- No, that's slick.

Politics are very ugly
in kind of a cool way.

What do you mean?

Well, my mom says that
politics and show business

are in the same game.

You have to know the A-list people.

- Listen, Steve, all I want to do is...
- Win?

Politicians that win
go for the jugular, Brandon.

I just don't know
if I've got the killer instinct.

Yeah, you do.

Walsh. Walsh.

So that's my life story,
soon to be a minor motion picture.

Thank you very much, boys and girls.
And please, be kind to your waitress.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah.

You were really wonderful.

Thanks.

You look so familiar to me.
Have you been here before?

No, I'm new in town.
An accounting brat from Minnesota.

Oh, we're practically related.
Would you girls like some coffee?

Cappuccino.

Cafe au lait with chocolate,
hold the cinnamon.

- Can I just get a Coke?
- Yeah, you bet.

Here comes Jack.
You girls are gonna love him.

Hello! It's good to be back here
at the Fallout Club.

Nice to see all you
mutant radiation victims.

Whipped cream on mine.

"Whipped cream on yours"?

So, what do we have here,

a typical California girl, blonde,
into the important things,

like clothes, make-up.

Way too much make-up.

Let's get out of here, girls.

You know, I love it when people make
snap judgments

without any information.

You can be so much more objective
that way.

A hecklette. Let me guess.

You tried on 50 jackets
and none of them worked,

so you decided to go with this one.

Yeah, kind of like you. You tried out
50 jokes and none of them worked.

Ouch, I'm cut, I'm bleeding.

- I didn't know she could do that.
- Neither did she.

So there I was,
listening to Kelly being heckled,

and instantly I knew what to do.

That's great, honey.
Would you pass the glue, please?

Oh, that might be the door.

Mom, these performance-oriented
coffee houses are really happening.

I mean, I really felt part of it.

Right. Is this button crooked?

No, it's fine.

And Dad, I'm pregnant.

Just testing.

Use neon. Or a big "W" for winner.

That's a good idea. Thanks.

I was up all night from that
toxic cappuccino,

thinking about what you said
about getting involved.

Brandon, I can help you win.
I know everyone.

Or how to glom on to everyone. Right?

And that is exactly what you need.

Kelly, whenever political stuff comes on,
you switch to MTV.

Any help would be appreciated.

- Any help doing what?
- Excuse me, hi.

- I am going to run Brandon's campaign.
- What?

I thought I was gonna do that.

Well, isn't there enough room
for both of you?

Excuse us.

Brandon, remember when I told you
about that friend who was gonna run

and then backed out?

Yeah.

That coward was me.

Why'd you quit?

Because I didn't want to lose.

Well, neither do I.

Democracy needs you, Andrea.

I need you. Okay?

Okay.

Okay, I'm ready.

Oh, Brenda, I can't go with you.
We need to have a campaign meeting.

Yeah, why don't you stay
and work with us?

I can't.

Sky invited us to a political blab-fest
this afternoon.

Donna and I will go.

Well, actually, the smoke in that club,
it just murders my contacts, really.

Fine. I'll go alone.
I guess Sky is too mature for you guys.

Please.
They don't even card at that club.

Do they?

Hey, Brenda, I'm glad you made it.

Listen, Jack and I are doing this
Earth relief benefit.

Here's a flyer.

Oh, cool. Tomorrow. A.M.

Why, you a morning phobe, too?

No, I've got school tomorrow.
I wish I didn't.

Truth is, I feel out of touch
with all that stuff.

Oh, God, I hear that. That's why I left
bad old Modesto High at 16.

What about your parents?

They bagged on me a little bit at first.
But they came around.

Wow.

Yeah, it was sweet!

My cousin was driving across
the country and I just had to go with her.

So then we took off for Greece
and, many adventures later,

I wound up here.

You've really lived.

I've been stuck
in popularity contest land.

I guess that's why I oversleep
on the weekdays.

I couldn't get out of bed before noon
when I was in high school.

It's the legacy of being a new kid.

But you know something, when I got out,
I had this awakening.

I started reading these great books
and getting into environmental causes.

I could be doing this, just like you.

Yeah, you remind me a lot of me
when I was in high school,

but you know something,
those high school diplomas,

they really help.

No, I'm not talking about dropping out.

I'm talking about getting the best
of both worlds.

Here's the high school equivalency form
you requested.

Thank you.

You know, your parents
are gonna have to sign this.

Have you thought about
what you're going to tell them?

I'll just tell them...

I'll tell them I'm quitting school.

What?

No, you cannot drop out of school,

even if you pass
a high school equivalency test.

It's not dropping out.
It's getting your diploma early.

It certainly is.

Mom, you're always talking
about letting your little birdies

fly off by themselves.

So go skydiving again, honey,

but the school experience
is too important.

I learn so much more from my friends,

I mean, the people at the Fallout Club,
they talk about books and politics.

I want to learn from life,
not just memorize things.

Honey, we all have fantasies like that
at your age.

That's true.

I wanted to be Judy Collins,
and go to Greenwich Village

with a guitar on my back.

And I wanted to join the Peace Corps
and save humanity.

- See?
- There's a difference

between dreaming about these things
and doing them.

Exactly.
And in my case it's not just a fantasy.

You've raised me so well,
I'm ahead of myself.

Whoa, honey. Put on the brakes.

We are not gonna let you
screw up your life.

No, you don't wanna let me live my life.

You just don't understand!

- Yes, we do.
- No, you don't.

All right, we don't understand
and the answer is still no!

Oh, boy.

She'll grow out of it.

Thank God, Brandon's got his feet
on the ground.

How's this?

Oh, great.

Tell me if I look like a dweeb, right?

Here, I got some cute politician photos.

Try to model yourself
after these guys, okay?

Well, you've been busy.

Kelly, Gary Hart never made it
to the nominations.

And that's because he was too cute
for his own good.

Look, what I think we need to focus on
are the issues.

Yeah, see, I had this idea that
maybe we could feed

some homeless people with
all the surplus food

they throw out at the cafeteria.

That's perfect.
Exactly what I'm talking about.

Wait, we have got to hit people with
what they want for themselves...

Hey, big news.
I've got my own campaign going

to leave school.

Brenda, that is a great idea.

Yeah, we'll tell them
they can leave school for lunch.

Brenda, you're not really serious about
quitting school, are you?

Actually, I am serious.

Well, you're seriously nuts
if you do that.

Brandon, we've got to finish this roll.
The photo place closes soon.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah?

Aren't you Brandon Walsh's sister?

I feel like Ferris Bueller's sister.

Okay, Brandon,
you have to go up to everybody,

even those people that you don't like.
All right?

Now, see those girls over there?

I don't even know them.

Smile. You have a cute smile.

I do?

Hi, how you doing?

I'm Brandon Walsh. I'm running
for President and I'm glad to meet you.

David...

My God, she's waving at me.

She must need something.

She needs me.
She just doesn't know it yet.

David, hi. Listen, I really need you.

Brandon needs a hot campaign video.

Something sexy. You can do it, right?

Well, I'd love to,

but since I'm broadcasting
Thursday's debate,

I think it'd be
a conflict of interest or something.

Gee, that's too bad.

See, I was kind of hoping that

after the victory party, you and I
could go out on a date or something.

I wonder what Geraldo would do
in this situation?

He'd go for it. Definitely.

The comedy of politics...

Hi.

He's over there.

Yes, I am his sister,
anything else you wanna know?

Not really.

Hi, Michael. I'm sorry.

This election stuff is just so
taking over the school.

I'm kind of sick of politics myself.

So what you doing? Homework?

No, work hopefully.
Probably just a bunch of pitiful jokes.

You do that stuff?

Well, I'm trying to get on
Amateur Night at this club.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Kelly, hi.

Look, I need to go, okay? See you.

Keep up the work.

Bye.

Brenda, how could you do that with him
in public?

Kelly, Michael and I were just talking.

Michael Miller is Brandon's opponent.

I know that. So what?

So, I hope you didn't tell him anything.

Kelly, he was interested in me.

Right, Brenda. Grow up.

"The image-fest of teenage politics."

"Those guys are trying to act like adults,

"but they pick immature adults
to act like."

It isn't working, is it?

No, take it further. Make them

kiddies in playpens being politicians.

Elect me! Stuff like that.

That's great. How do you learn
to bring all that stuff together?

It just takes practice.

My first bit was so pretentious,
I pretended somebody else wrote it.

Try getting a little more personal.

The trick is to unlearn
everything you've learnt.

It took me years of performing
to get there.

Rumor has it, that some things
you learn with Jack,

you never wanna unlearn.

Are you two...

No way.
Even good sex ruins a good friendship.

Listen, Jack,
I really hate to ask you this, believe me,

but it's family crisis time again.
I've gotta go up to Modesto.

Forget it. Every time I house-sit for you,
we wind up in a fight.

"You didn't water the plants,
you forgot to feed the yuppie."

- The guppy.
- Whatever.

If you need a house sitter,
I might have a candidate.

Enlighten me.
What does this have to do

with the high school election?

You told me that girls vote
more than guys.

And he can deliver.

"Bran the Man"?

What? What are you gonna deliver?

I mean, you haven't told us
what you're gonna do.

Well, that's the beauty of it.
He doesn't say anything.

Brandon, how could you do this
to our campaign?

Hey, we all want to win, Andrea.

No, wrong. Not me.

Suddenly, there's a small part of me
that wants you to lose.

Where are you going?

To grab a submarine sandwich
and rent Sex, Lies and Videotape.

You're on your own, Bran-Man.

She deserted me.

Well, I'm still here.

I don't know, maybe she's right.

Listen, Brandon,

if you really want something,

you have to go after it.

Hard.

You know, Steve wouldn't like this.

Well, Steve's off chasing
some girl in orange this week.

But he would love to be
in your position right now.

Hi, we were just taking a break.

Hey, listen, don't mind me. It's fine.
I've moved past all this.

Excuse us.

Oh, go ahead.
Play your little political games

in your kindergarten-like world.

I'm off to experience the real thing.

What was that all about?

I have no idea.

Oh, hi, honey.
We didn't know you were back.

Surprise. Anyway, I'm not

for very long.

What are you doing?

I'm moving out.

Brandon?

In Brenda's room, Mom.

Here are the flyers.

I should have a sign like McDonald's,

"over five billion copied."

And I'm the McCandidate. Thanks.

You know it's kind of weird
not having Brenda around.

Although I do kind of like the extra room.

I can't believe you guys just let her
go off by herself.

Me, neither.

Are we doing the right thing?

Honey, what choice did we have?

She was determined.

And we'd already said no
about the high school equivalency thing.

Well, it's only for three days.

Suppose she decides to stay longer.

We drag her back home immediately.

Well, at least the apartment's
in a safe area.

And we can drive by
and check up on her.

When Brenda gets it in her head
to do something,

trying to stop her just makes it
all the more attractive.

When you're a kid,
you just wanna grow up.

And when you're older,
all you want to do is be a kid again.

How did you ever convince your parents
to let you stay?

I promised to call a lot.

Actually, it wasn't that hard.
It kind of freaked me out.

Maybe they've just been so focused
on Brandon that it slipped right by them.

Oh, come on, I doubt that.
You're pretty special.

Yeah. Well, they only let me out
for three days.

Yeah.

Oh, okay, let's get organized, locks,

you gotta jiggle them. Sort of like that.

Here's the keys.

You guys be kind to Brenda.

All right, here is Shakespeare,
and this is his lean cuisine.

Yeah.

All right.

Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

Bye.

It's brilliant.
I wish I could take credit for it.

Oh, you have credit with me.

Now, here's what we want to discuss
in tomorrow's debate.

Kelly, I'm monitoring that debate.

- We have to play by Robert's Rules.
- Of course we do.

My phone number's on the back.

Brutal.

How you doing? Brandon Walsh.

I am glad to meet you.
You're gonna vote for me, right?

Right. I like the button.

Keep wearing that.

Brandon hates that jerk.

Yeah. Well, jerks are voters, too.

I can't believe he'd let himself
get manipulated this way.

Yeah. Major integrity loss.

Oh, no, here comes Svengali.

Brenda, how can you wear
that costume?

Well, Kelly, you put one arm through
one sleeve and one through the other.

Brandon Walsh.
Hey, I'm glad to meet you.

Hey, if it isn't Bran the Man.

First of all, hippie witch is out.

It's not hippie witch, it's Twin Peaks,
and it's very in,

but that doesn't matter.

What does matter is that
it'll hurt Brandon.

Just till elections, okay, Bren?

So, you coming to the campaign party
at Donna's tonight?

We're gonna show
the new improved campaign video.

Yeah, I got the gist. We love him.

Actually, I'd love to,
but I have to feed Sky's fish.

Sounds thrilling.

Well, Kelly,
when you're finally on your own,

you'll understand
having responsibilities.

Sky, you back early?

Oh, my God.

Hey, what are you doing?

Nothing.
Look, I didn't see anything really,

'cause I have awful, awful eyesight.

So I'll be leaving now.
Take anything you want.

Hey, lady, we don't need your
permission to repossess these goodies.

Repossess? Hey, put it back!

At least let me call first.

Hi, this is Brenda,
I'm house-sitting for Sky.

Did she leave a number?

Is Jack there?

Thanks, anyway.

Just following orders, ma'am.

There's nothing left!

You're something.

They took everything.

I know. I saw them cruise by.

It's pretty awful.

- Poor Sky.
- Yeah.

Well, at least it's only things.

We've got what's important.

You.

Me.

Franco-American spaghetti.

Let's see here.

Seems like the gas company's
in a snit, too.

It's gotta be a misunderstanding.

It always is.

Hey, we don't have to be slaves
to the powers that be.

We've got food.

Yeah, right. Food for the fish.

No, for the mind.

We'll imagine
a spectacular romantic dinner.

Come on.

What's going on?

Dinner is now a dinner party.

Kelly, I'm not in the mood
for a surprise party.

This party is for Brandon.

So this is the fish you're feeding
while the cat's away.

Kelly!

Hey, Bren, Donna's parents bailed when
they found how many people we invited.

How many?

Don't worry, they all won't show up.

Bran the Man!

Bren the woman.

Sara, I want you to meet my best buddy,
Brandon Walsh,

soon to be Class President.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. How you doing? Orange, huh?

It's my favorite color and fruit.

Thanks.

Where's the bedroom?
All right, I'll find it by myself.

He has a talent for that.
Where's the food?

You know Kelly,
if I'd known you were coming,

I would have stocked the place for you.

Well, I tried calling,
but the phone was disconnected.

What?

There is no food.

That's sick. Gross.

There's no water, either.

Hello?

Hello?

I'm here at the Walsh campaign party.
It's sort of a stand-up event.

Everyone seems to be having
a great time.

And here's the candidate's sister,

the hostess with the mostest.

Get out!

Friends, yeomen, country club men,

lend me those pierced ears. Listen up.

How many of you really know
what this candidate stands for?

Do you even know anymore, Brandon?

I mean, you've sort of turned into
this processed candidate, haven't you?

David, why don't we turn on
the video, okay?

She wants me, bad.

Great!

No manager is listed.
What do I do, ring all the bells?

Low rent city, Brenda.

- You're welcome, Steve.
- Brenda, where's the fuse box?

Fuse box, I don't know.

Everyone's meeting
at the Peach Pit, okay?

Okay.

Brenda, you really have
the apartment from hell. No offence.

You know, you guys just burst in,
not even thinking that I might have a life,

just assuming that it would be okay.

You know, you could've been
a little more supportive

and offered the apartment.

What about you, Brandon?

You've been so self-absorbed
and taken my friends with you.

I didn't take anyone.

You are the one who ditched me
for the ever-groovy Sky and Jack.

You know, it just bugs you, Kelly,
when I get attention.

So you decide to console yourself
on Brandon.

Oh, come on, Brenda!

Look, you guys have been
passing me right by.

Why don't you just keep on going
and leave me alone?

- Brenda!
- Don't do this now.

Why?
Is it bad timing for your campaign?

I've gotta go now.
You sure you don't want to come?

I don't think I even want to vote.
You know what, Brandon?

You might really have what it takes
to be a politician.

Looks like the party's over.
Imagine me gone, sweet Brenda.

Prick up your ears!
The great debate starts in five minutes.

Tomorrow is election day

and date night.

Five minutes.

- You guys, we are in great shape.
- Yeah?

Oh, definitely. All the girls in PE class,
they're all voting for you.

Better crank together a victory speech.

Because your pal Steve here
is gonna make sure it's a done deal.

Maybe I should talk about some of the
community programs

I want to set up.

Let's wait till you're in office
to make that stuff happen.

But first, you have to win. All right?

Yes.

Well, I guess this is the place.

Hey, if it isn't Bran the Man.

So, you ready?

Yeah, not that it matters.

Hey, it ain't over till it's over.

Spoken like a true novice.

You know,
I'm a veteran of these campaigns,

and my prediction is you'll end up
with about 80% of the vote.

Well, that's optimistic.

Listen, when you've lost
as many times as I have,

you begin to develop an instinct
for these things.

You're real popular and I don't mean

you're an airhead or anything, I just...

I have never seen anyone
mount a slicker campaign.

Thanks, but no one's gonna vote
for a president

just because they like their video,
or they shouldn't.

You've got a lot going for you, Mike.

What?

Well, like it says right here, all the
extracurricular activities you've done.

Your volunteer work.
You're in the Honors Society.

You're really qualified.

You were even a student intern
at the state capital last summer.

You know,
I am real interested in public policy,

especially since it affects the homeless.

Yeah, me, too.

I was thinking of a program
where we could give away

the surplus food from the cafeteria.

That's great!

And so when you get elected,
you can use

the pilot program
I set up last summer.

Thanks, man.

May the better candidate win.

Same to you.

Mr Walsh, your proposals, please.

My first order of business will be
to get rock bands every Friday at lunch.

How do you plan to implement this?

Well,

contact the bands.

It's a little more complicated than that.

There are releases and permits
and insurance.

When I was Assistant
Activities Committee Chairman,

I brought bands in for the proms.

Are you aware
of all the red tape involved?

No, not really.

But you are.

And that's just one of about 50 reasons
why you're more qualified

to be president than I am.

And you've certainly run
a more honorable campaign.

What is he doing?
This is not in our script.

And that's the reason why

I'm throwing my support to you,

Mr President.

I cannot believe that
I wasted two weeks of my life on this.

Brandon, you blew it.
I was gonna stuff the ballot box for you.

Well, it's the thought that counts, Steve.

So, maybe you're redeemable after all.

It's too bad you're still not running.
I might have even voted for you.

Thanks, Brenda.
I can always count on you.

Um, Brenda, listen. Um...

So, how's apartment life?

Pretty powerless.

Do you wanna hang out tonight?

I can't.

I have to practice something that
I'm writing for Audition Night at the club,

maybe.

So Kel, see you in something wet.

Just you, me,

and my dad's hot tub.

The campaign debt nightmare begins.

You know, Kelly kept talking about
whether or not I wanted to win,

but I just didn't want to win that way.

Anyway, I can always run
a different campaign next semester.

I'm proud of you.

Now I can tell you honestly,
I hated your campaign video.

So did I.

So did I.

- Brenda. Come on in.
- Hey, stranger.

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

Make yourself at home.
You know what I mean.

You want a sandwich?

- Do you have tuna?
- Oh, you bet.

Sprouts and tomatoes?

- Wow, it's so supplied.
- Oh, it's always like this.

Yeah, I guess so.

Are you really back home?

- I... I...
- Yes? Yes, honey?

I just came to get some clean clothes.

And I need to know where
my high school equivalency form is.

Now, Brenda, we told you to forget that.

There is no way
we're gonna sign that, honey.

Guys, I just asked you where it was.

This is killing me.

Let's just stop this farce
and beg her to come back.

No, let's drag her back
and tell her how much we missed her.

No, wait. We've got to resist
the urge to nurture her right now.

That's right.

Restraint. Control.

- What are you doing?
- Care package for Brenda.

Right.

Oh, God, what now?

Hi.

I know, I'm sorry.

I tried to get them to leave the furniture.

No, I know. It's not your fault.

Your apartment still looks cool.

Things aren't always what they seem.

It's really hard on your own.

I didn't wanna tell you,
'cause you looked up to me.

You made me feel so up.

Tell me what?

You know why I had to go home
to my parents?

You know what
the big family crisis was?

Me.

I needed money.

I'm what you call
plain old over-extended.

Is everything okay now?

Well, compared to the homeless, yeah.

Compared to my dreams, not exactly.

My parents are getting older

and they just don't have it
to give anymore.

But you've got a job.

Tips from starving artists,
myself included,

don't exactly pay the bills.

I refuse to cry.

Sometimes it's good to cry.

Look, you're more than welcome to stay,

but I don't blame you if you want
to leave this depressing floor plan.

You're not getting rid of me that easily.

Well, I got an idea.

Why don't you stay here
and I'll move in with your mom.

Wake up, Fallout victims!

It's Amateur Night
and anything can happen.

Anything at all!

- I can't go through with this.
- Yes, you can.

No, I can't. Sky, you don't know
what I wrote. It's so personal.

This is all about finding yourself, kid.

I was thinking of taking my

high school equivalency test,

getting my own place,
being oh-so-independent.

Where do I shop? Mom's.

Hey, the price is right.

You know, you think when you leave,

they're gonna run after you.

Well, think again.

My brother, my twin brother,
my other half,

he takes over my entire room,

double the space, double the pleasure.

Are my parents freaked
about my absence?

Do they yell? No. They're nice.

It made me want to say,
"Wait. I don't want to grow up yet."

You know, being on your own
doesn't necessarily mean

having your own place,
it's about being your own person.

It's pretty easy to glom on to
someone else, but...

Problem is that
once you're inside that person,

no matter how cool they are,
you just want to say,

"Wait! Let me out! I want me!"

You know what,

I think I found me right up here.

- This is great.
- Yeah.

So, I've decided not to put
my high school career on fast forward.

- Good choice.
- All right. All right.

I need some practice
being my own person

before I'm actually on my own.

- It's better.
- Yeah, this is a smart lady.

Thank you for listening.

Honey, you were terrific.

How did you guys know to come?

Safety in numbers.

Don't press your luck.

So, you serious about going back
to high school?

Yes, Dad, I'm going to
stay in school forever.

You're going to have to
support me until I'm 90.

I've got to go talk to Sky.

See you.

You were so great up there.

Well, you're now officially
a Fallout victim.

It's not an easy life,
but the right delivery helps.

Why, thank you. I'm flattered.

Listen, if you're not gonna use that
high school equivalency exam,

could I have it?

I'd never leave home without it.

- Hey, wait for me.
- Come on.

- Bren.
- All right.

I put on clean sheets, just in case.

Thanks.

Welcome home, honey.

You know, I could definitely get used
to this guest treatment.

- Good night.
- Night.

Good night.

I could never get used to the smell
of the cigarette smoke in those clubs.

You know, I'm jealous.

You had a good experience.

You got to hang in a cool apartment,
you found a talent.

Yeah, I guess I did.

And you walked away
from the Oval Office.

Yeah, well, I did learn something.

And what's that pearl of wisdom,
your lowness?

I loved having the bathroom to myself.

Well, those days are over.

Will you autograph this for me?