Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 1, Episode 16 - Fame Is Where You Find It - full transcript

Okay, guys. Ready?

Let's go.

Looking for something?

- What's it to you?
- Don't make me turn you in, Kirk.

Well, don't make me use this. I'll do it.
I swear I'll do it.

You want to cut me? Go ahead.
But you know that won't solve anything.

Oh, God, you have so much to live for.
Don't throw it all away.

Not now. Not like this.

Cut! Print.

Beauty.

Is that what you had in mind, Jake?



Lydia, that was a killer.
That was pure gooseflesh time.

Oh, yes.

Jake, we're in trouble.

The kid you cast as the surfer dude,
he's in the hospital with food poisoning.

Great. My doctor wonders
why I have high blood pressure.

- We could reschedule.
- This is not Shakespeare here.

This is some crummy little scene
we're doing.

- Any jerk off the street can do this.
- Like who?

Hey, how about that kid?

Excuse me.

- Are you SAG by any chance?
- What?

Are you a member
of the Screen Actors Guild?

- No, I'm not an actor. Sorry.
- Do you want to be?

I haven't really thought about it. Why?



Well, we're down here shooting
an episode of Keep It Together.

The TV show?
Oh, my sister's addicted to it.

Yeah. We're in kind of a jam.
One of our day players didn't show,

and if you could spare an hour or two,
it'd be worth your while.

What do I have to do?

You go up to the girls and say,

"Hey, babe, looking good.
Real good, babe."

I get paid for this?

Hey, where's that...

All right, I got the line.

All right.

- Is this make-up?
- So they tell me.

Well, I need more of a tan
or less of a tan. I don't know.

Are you working today?

Yeah, if you can call this work.

Thanks.

So, think you can do something
with this mug?

Oh, I can certainly try.

- My sister'd die if she knew where I was.
- Oh, really? Why?

She's the actress in the family,
or wants to be.

Every once in a while
I catch her thanking the Academy.

For some strange reason
Keep It Together

- is still her favorite show.
- Oh, not yours, huh?

Well, I haven't checked it out lately,
like, since I was about 10.

But it used to be one of those
squeaky-clean shows

where by some miracle
every problem got solved

just in time for the last commercial.

- You sound like the critics.
- Hey, no offence,

but as far as I can tell,
the only good thing about the show

is Lydia Leeds.

Anyone ever tell you
you kind of look like her?

All the time.

Wait a second, are you...

- Lydia, rehearsal!
- Tell them I'll be just a minute.

- I have to finish... What's your name?
- Brandon. Brandon Walsh.

Mr Walsh's highlights.

And I didn't do his lips yet.

All right, here's the scene.

You skate by, you notice Lydia,
and so you stop, you come back,

and then you say your line,

"Hey, babe,
I like your looks, yadda yadda."

But then, you have to hold
for a count of three.

Can you handle that?

Good.

All right people, let's try this!

Everybody quiet, please!

Roll sound!

Marker.

Action!

Bye! See you later.

Hey, babe, looking good.
Real good, babe.

Really?

Cut! That was terrific.

All right, print.

You know, this kid
is as good-looking as Sean.

- And the princess seems to like him.
- Yeah.

So, here I totally ragged on her show,
and she didn't even hold it against me.

In fact, she was really cool about it.

I cannot believe that you're going to be
on Keep It Together.

- Oh, Paula is gonna flip.
- I'll get it.

- So, what was it like?
- It was fun.

I don't know if I'd want to do it every day.

- I would.
- It's for you. The production office.

Oh, yeah, I think I forgot to sign
a form before I left.

Hey, tell them
that you have a twin sister.

So which one is Keep It Together?

Oh, you know, it's the one about
that cute little orphan girl, Flipper.

Mom, it's Skipper,
and she's not an orphan anymore.

She finally got adopted
by the Carswell-Smythe family.

Sorry. Sheesh.

Great. I'll be there.

So, is there a part for Brenda in it?

- Actually, they have a part for me.
- Yeah, right.

I'm not kidding.

He has all the luck. It is so sickening.

And now the producers love him.

I mean, they're writing new scenes
for him.

Are you serious?

Yeah, he's like this new guest star
in their next episode,

and Lydia Leeds is his new best friend.

Oh, she used to be really sweet,
but I bet she's totally stuck-up now.

- You know her?
- We were all in the 5th grade together.

This is so poetically unjust.

I mean, he gets to miss school
and everything,

and he doesn't even like the show.

Oh, well, I bet he does now.

I need a bubble bath.

Brenda, listen, there was one little thing

I was hoping
you could help me out with.

I need someone to cover for me
at the Peach Pit.

Someone I trust to give me the job back
after this acting thing plays itself out.

So, in other words, while you get to be
on TV with Lydia Leeds,

I get to serve pie to the...
What did you call them last week?

Oh, yes, the "tightwads of America."

Come on, Bren.
The tips aren't usually that bad,

and it's really an easy job.

Oh, that's why you always come home
exhausted and smelly.

Besides, Nat wouldn't even hire me.
I mean, I don't have any experience.

Let me worry about Nat, okay?

No, you better worry about finding
a different replacement.

You know, Bren, I told them about you,
but they needed a guy.

Of course they need a guy.
Don't you ever read TV Guide?

Sean Judson is leaving the show
over a salary dispute.

Well, I'm no Sean Judson.

You said it, I didn't.

Come on, Bren,
can't you do me a favor?

And what will you do for me?

Okay, okay. How about this?

You're always complaining about how
you don't have enough room in here.

You can have the top two drawers.

- Well, that's a start.
- What else do you want?

- I want your green shirt.
- My green shirt?

The one shirt in the whole world
that I own that I really love?

That green shirt?

That's the one. Take it or leave it.

There you go.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

I knew from the first night
you walked in with Dylan.

I said to myself,
"Nat, this kid's a comer."

- Didn't I say that, Sal?
- Nat, it's only a small part.

There are no small parts,
only small actors.

So what about Brenda here?

Well, she obviously got
all the looks in the family.

Are you sure
you want to have dishpan hands?

- Well...
- Oh, she'll be great, Nat.

- The customers will love her.
- Sure you can handle it, doll?

Hey, it'll only be for a couple of days.
A week at the most, maybe two.

Wait a minute, don't sell yourself short.
You don't know what it's gonna be.

- Your career could take off.
- His career? What career?

The important thing for you
to remember is when you're a star,

don't let all the Hollywood hoopla
go to your head.

There's no need to worry about that.
I know who I am.

Brandon Walsh,
a regular kind of guy from Minnesota,

and nothing's gonna change that at all.

It'll just be a couple
of routine questions,

like, "What's your favorite color"

or "What'd you have
for breakfast this morning?"

I really think it's premature
to be interviewing me, David.

- Okay, well, we'll do it next period.
- David, don't be ridiculous.

I worked for one day. I said one line.

West Beverly is loaded with kids
who grew up in the industry.

But none of them have worked
with Lydia Leeds.

Then why don't you interview her?

Well, can you get her
to come on my show?

I'll put in a good word for you, okay?

Thanks, big guy. Ciao.

Let's hear it for Brandon Walsh
for landing a role

on the hit series Keep It Together,
starring Lydia "The Love Cat" Leeds.

A boffo socko match in the making.
This one's for you, big guy.

- Hey, Bran, who's your agent?
- Give me a break.

It looks to me like you already got one.

Forget the agent.
What you need is a bodyguard.

Is this weird or what?

- They won't stampede, will they?
- Only if they smell fear.

- What are we gonna do?
- Brenda, how hard can it be?

The fork goes on the left,
the knife and spoon go on the right,

and the napkins go in the dispenser.

Yeah, well, maybe you should be
filling in for Brandon.

Speak of the devil.

This is so unfair.

You know,
I'm the one with all the talent.

I'm the one who used to dance around
the living room singing show tunes.

Oh, I did that, too,
but I was always off key.

I was even thinking of putting
together a stand-up comedy routine.

- I would die first. You'd be so exposed.
- But you play somebody else.

You're a character.

And you're not really you.
Do you see what I mean?

Like, wow, like, for sure,
it's, like, totally radical.

- That's great.
- Do some more.

Okay, okay.

Oh, quit busting my chops.
I'm sick of sitting around here

jawboning with you guys,
you know what I mean?

Stop.

Last week they didn't even know
I was alive.

Last week you weren't hanging out
with Lydia Leeds.

What's the big deal?
You guys know her.

Knew her.

Show biz kids
live in their own little world.

Yeah, well, that'll never happen to me.

Brandon, your limousine's here.

Take care of these for me, would you?

Oh, it's Lydia Leeds!

Hi, Brandon.

He's so lucky. Wow!

Hi, Lydia.

Don't forget.
Soak the puppy chow really well.

He likes it soft and mushy.

There you go.

Oh, my doggie's only six weeks old.
I miss him so much.

How many of those do you think
you've signed in your life?

About six gadjillion.

Doesn't it bother you,
people just coming up to you?

It would bother me if they didn't.

- You mind?
- Oh, not at all.

Oh, no, you don't want my autograph.

Come on, Brandon, better get used to it.

- What are you talking about?
- You don't get it, do you?

With Sean being written out
of the show,

you could be a recurring character.

I thought people were supposed to
pound the pavement for years

- before they got a break like this.
- Don't you believe in fate?

You were at the right place
at the right time.

- And that's it?
- And you got a good look.

- But it's not for sure, right?
- Let me put it this way,

I don't make a habit
of giving people rides to the set.

Need some help with that?

Okay, here we are.

Now... Thank you.

It's a party in the next room.
You see each other,

you want each other,
you get each other.

Now, I want it juicy, but not too juicy.
Big, but not over-the-top.

But lots of heat. Got to feel the heat.
Make me sweat.

Okay, let's do it.

Roll sound! Speed.

Marker.

And action.

I was hoping you'd be here.

Cut! Print. That was brilliant. Perfect.
Don't change a thing.

All right, let's do another one.

If it was perfect,
why are we doing it again?

Jake likes to get a lot of coverage.

And action!

I was hoping you'd be here.

Cut. Print.

Action!

I was hoping you'd be here.

- Wait, Brandon's stepping on my toe.
- Sorry.

Cut!

I was hoping you'd be here.

Cut.

It was terrible.

Marker.

- Cut.
- That was nice.

Mark.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

Print. That's a wrap.

- Good work, Lydia. That was very nice.
- Thanks.

- Well, I could get used to this.
- So could I.

Anyway, the director said
I was a natural.

Honey, that's great.
Are you working tomorrow?

Yeah, but I got a late call.

You know, they shoot these things
out of order.

And every scene has a number.
It's very complicated.

Yes, well, not as fascinating
as one would've thought.

Excuse me, I have to go change
and get grubby now.

Hey, say hi to Nat for me.

Oh, I got to get changed, too.

Brandon, I don't think you should be
going out to a party on a weeknight.

Dad, it's not a party.
It's a networking thing.

It's a place where a lot of young actors
go to get away from the crowds

and the media and stuff.

Don't you have to get ready
for tomorrow?

I got my lines down.

What about school?

Dad, I told you,
they have a teacher on set.

She's very scholastic.

She's writing a spec script
for Twin Peaks.

- Is that Lydia?
- She's early and I'm not ready. Stall.

I'll go get the camera.

That's my drawer.

- God. Can I borrow one of your combs?
- No.

So, you want me to introduce you
to Lydia?

- Don't do me any favors.
- Fine.

Just let Mom and Dad embarrass me.

You mean she's here?

Lydia Leeds is here? Downstairs?
In this house?

Yeah. Go talk to her, will you?

What do I say to her?

Brenda, she's just a regular person.

Oh, my business manager used to be
with Hartley and Mather, too.

Really? What's his name?

- Joey Merlis.
- I've met him, I've met him.

Jim, where's the film for the camera?

This is Brandon's better half.
Brenda, this is Lydia.

- I know that, Dad.
- Jim.

- Oh, excuse me. Nice to meet you.
- Oh, bye.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- So we have a friend in common.
- Oh, who's that?

Kelly Taylor.

Who?

From elementary school?

- Kelly Taylor? Donna Martin?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, right, right.

So, Brandon tells me that you have
some acting aspirations.

Well, yeah, I was Juliet
in Romeo and Juliet.

- In stock?
- No, 7th grade.

Oh.

Not that what you do
when you're 12 years old

really matters that much.

When I was 12 years old,
I got my second TV Guide cover,

and my first Golden Globe Award.

Well, I can't top that now, can I?

- Sorry. Hi.
- Hi.

- Oh, I love your shirt.
- Thanks.

Miss!

Excuse me, did you order
the cheeseburger, medium-well

with no onions or the grilled cheese
with bacon and tomato?

- I ordered soup.
- Of course. I'll be right back.

Miss.
Miss, I asked for some water, please.

Right. Water on four.

- Brenda, I need a set-up on eight.
- Right. Set-up on eight.

- Ketchup on seven.
- Sure. Ketchup on seven.

Right, okay. All right, here we go.

All right, water on four.

Set-up on eight and ketchup on seven.

That's water on four, set-up on ketchup,
and seven on eight...

- Brenda!
- What?

- How are you doing? You're okay?
- Great. I'm great.

Good. Pick up your order,
'cause it's ready. Come on.

Just great.

Okay, all right.

Okay, sir, here we go.

Hi, honey.

You know, I keep thinking
everyone in here looks familiar,

but then I realize, of course they are,
they're all on TV.

Oh, Peter Bremmer.

- Wasn't he on Kibbee and Me?
- He was,

but the show got cancelled.
He's so depressed, it's pathetic.

- Hi, Lydia.
- Hi, Mackenzie.

So, who's the new
flavor-of-the-week?

- Very funny, Mackenzie.
- Have fun while it lasts.

Goodbye, Mackenzie.

You just met the luckiest girl
in this town.

And the only reason she has a career
is because her uncle

is, like, this really big producer.

Let me ask you something.
Is there anybody here you like?

You know, you don't strike me like
a kid from Beverly Hills High School.

Well, maybe that's because I go
to West Beverly.

Listen, I hope I didn't come off
like too much of a rank amateur today.

At what, acting or kissing?

- Well, I've been told I know how to kiss.
- Well, I'd have to agree with that.

But it's so strange to do it
with all those people looking at you.

Yeah. You know, my first kiss ever
was on the show four years ago.

Really?

Yeah, with Sean, in fact.
And every talk show host

kept asking me about it.
It was so embarrassing.

I would've told them to take a flyer.

You can't do that if you want to be
loved by the public.

Is that what you want?

What I want is to be respected
as an actress,

and to feel satisfied with myself
as a person

when this whole roller coaster ride
comes to an end.

- That's very insightful.
- Thanks. My publicist wrote it.

- You want to dance?
- Absolutely.

Come on.

So what do you do with your free time?

Well, I don't have much free time.

...on Saturday.
Then I play hockey on Sunday.

- Would you do me a favor?
- What?

Yeah. Yes, I would.

Why don't you ask me if I'd like to
go watch sometime, all right?

Yeah. If you want to.

- Hi, Sean.
- What's up?

Lydia's here with your competition.

It's definitely better without
those lights in your face.

It's your shirt. I just borrowed it.

Well, you can keep it because
I'm never going back there again.

- Brenda, you can't do that to Nat.
- Nat won't miss me at all, believe me.

- Please, Brenda, just one more night.
- Why?

So you can go network
with the brat pack?

What are you saying,
I've gone Hollywood?

If the shirt fits.

Look, Brenda,
just because the new lady in my life

happens to be in the public eye
doesn't mean that I've changed.

The old Brandon would never
fall head over heels

for such a superficial,
self-centered snob,

who changes boyfriends
on a weekly basis.

What, do you believe everything
you read in the tabloids?

No, but I don't have
stars in my eyes, either.

This is really bogus. I can't deal
with you if you're gonna be like this.

If you don't want to work
at the Peach Pit, fine.

If you want to pick a fight with me
because you're jealous, fine.

Just don't go slamming somebody
you don't even know.

As if you know her so well.

- I know her better than you think.
- You've changed, Brandon.

You really have changed.

Yeah, well, maybe it's for the better.

For two days,
every time I walk down the hall,

somebody stops me
to talk about Brandon.

And Brandon only wants
to talk about Lydia,

and then he accuses me
of being jealous.

- Well, I would be.
- I'm too angry to be jealous.

I mean, he wrangles me
into taking over his job,

his boss thinks I'm a stupid klutz,
and the customers hate me

because they think I'm too young
and inexperienced.

- Brenda, I'm sure they don't hate you.
- Well, they sure act like it.

Well, I think they act that way
because they're hungry.

Oh, hungry people are notorious
for being rude and obnoxious.

Whenever I get around that place
I get very self-conscious.

So quit.

And give Brandon the satisfaction?
No, thanks.

Brenda, try not to take it so seriously.

What am I supposed to do?
Pretend like I know what I'm doing?

Walsh just arrived. I'll send him down.

Here's some new pages.
They need you in make-up.

Whoa. Hey, this is a whole new scene.
What happened to 46?

- Forty-six was cut.
- That's my big scene.

Lydia, Sean and Jake
are waiting for you.

- Hey, Lydia.
- Oh, hi, Brandon.

Hi. They cut our scene.

Oh, I know.
They're rewriting the whole script.

- I'm late. I gotta go.
- Oh, hey, wait a sec.

- I had a really good time last night.
- Hey, Lyd, move your butt.

Jake's hemorrhaging.
He wants us to run lines.

What's he doing here?

Oh, Sean decided to come to terms
with the producers.

He said he missed me. Bye.

- Would you like some more coffee?
- Love some.

- Little slow?
- The pits.

- Brenda?
- No, Brenda couldn't make it.

I'm Laverne. I'm taking her shift.
Charmed, I'm sure.

Girls, girls, come on in.
Don't be bashful. Have a seat.

Oh, but first, let's get some
hit parade action going.

Liven up the joint.

You know,
G5 comes very highly recommended.

- Love your do, Laverne.
- Oh, thank you, blondie.

You know if you play your cards right,
I just might let you borrow my curlers.

Sir, welcome. I'm Laverne.

Charmed, I'm sure.

- I don't get it. What is it, Halloween?
- Hey, don't you worry, pops.

You get no trick or treat with this
little lady. I'm strictly a class act.

A 100% US Certified
hostess with the mostest.

See, here's a gentleman
who appreciates fine beauty.

Here's a customer
who needs an order taken.

Why, certainly.
Would you like to hear today's specials?

- We don't have any specials.
- The special pasta today is spaghetti.

It has meatballs on it
with a red sauce. I think it's tomato.

And the soup is vegetable
with beefy beef.

Very tasty with saltines.
And for dessert we have pie.

We have peach pie, cherry pie,
apple pie, pecan pie, lemon pie,

cream pie, and honey pie.

But if you want pizza pie,
you gotta go across the street.

Ask for Guido. He'll take care of ya.
So what will it be?

Anything you want, sweetheart.

You look like meatloaf
and mashed potatoes. Am I wrong?

Bring it on.

Only if you promise to save room
for dessert.

Okay, we got a taker for
squished taters and a beefy roll.

- We what?
- Mashed potatoes and meatloaf.

Get with the lingo, pops.

Brenda, you're too much.

It's Laverne, thank you.

All right. All right, let's try this, please.

- Jake, his hand was on her shoulder.
- Your hand was on her shoulder.

- The other hand.
- Oh, sorry.

All right? All right, this is for picture.

Everybody quiet, please!

- Roll sound!
- Speed.

Marker.

And action!

Hey, cheesemeister,

stay away from my girl.

Cut!

Brandon, you lost your concentration.

It's just in rehearsal
there wasn't anything in the glass.

Yeah, well, that was rehearsal.

It's all right. Try it again.

And action!

Hey, cheesemeister,
stay away from my girl!

Who's gonna make me?

Cut. Something's not working for me.

- I need more splash.
- Splash?

- More splash.
- Props, more splash!

And action!

Hey, cheesemeister,
stay away from my girl!

Who's gonna make me?

- Cut!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Honey, I won't be spilling no soup
on you today.

Hey, honey,
you want some more coffee?

All right, got to order up.
You know what I mean?

We got some seats available soon,
you know.

Come on, come on, girls, girls, girls,
how are we doing?

I shouldn't take your money,
but I'm Laverne, I will,

you know what I mean?

Hey, honey. Sweetie, how you doing?
Where you been all my life?

Girls, girls, girls,
you want something to eat or what?

- Well...
- You either gotta order or you go,

you know, that's the way it goes.
Everybody, it's more victims!

Enter at your own risk, fellas!

Hey, there's plenty of seats available.
Just keep your hands off mine,

- you know what I mean?
- That's not what you said last week.

Yeah, well, lies and innuendoes
will get you everywhere.

Brenda Walsh, I knew her when.

- And she's really out there.
- Did you put her up to this, Nat?

No, no, no, no.
Let's give credit where credit is due.

I thought she flipped out,
but everybody's eating it up.

Along with second and thirds.

Don't worry about a thing. All right!

I need a java for the lava,
a fizzer on the rocks,

and a pooch in a pouch for the grouch!

- Laverne?
- Yes, Nathan?

- Where you been all my life?
- I was standing right here, sugar.

No, cut, cut, cut!

Someone dry him off.
Let's try this again.

Where did you find this guy?
He can't even remember his lines.

- Lydia pushed for him.
- Hey, you okayed it.

- Don't start with me, Lydia.
- So get him some idiot cards.

- Wait a second. I'm not an idiot.
- You're not an actor.

Hey, I never said I was.
I'm doing the best job I can here.

You change the lines on me,
you change the rules on me.

I don't know what you people want!

What we want is 10 seconds
of usable film.

Do you think you can manage to get up
for that? Or do I have to recast?

- Hey, no cutting in line, bub.
- Andrea. Hi.

What's going on?

We've been waiting here
for 20 minutes already.

You're kidding.
The service is that slow?

No, it's that entertaining.

Hey, what's it take
to get a seat around here?

You gotta be in tight with the owner
or something?

Hey, hey, hey, if it isn't Mr Hollywood.

- What'd you do to my sister?
- What, you mean Laverne?

Hey, sailor,
when did you blow into town?

- When did you go to Mars?
- Hey.

Everybody, we got a bona fide celebrity
in our midst!

That hot new sensation,
Lydia Leeds' main squeeze,

Brandon Walsh!

Now let's give him
a traditional Peach Pit welcome.

Thanks. I needed that.

Bran, Bran, hey.
Need some ChapStick, Mr Walsh?

Yeah, what is it like kissing
a living legend?

- Not all it's cracked up to be.
- Why not?

Oh, you know, these Hollywood
starlet types. Never satisfied.

Hey, Brandon, before I forget,
I've slotted you to do

a behind-the-scene profile on the set
of Keep It Together.

- Don't hold your breath.
- Yeah, no way.

He's not doing anything for free
when he could be sponging big time

from the Enquirer.

Forget Lydia. I think he should write
My Life With Laverne.

- I barely know the girl.
- I wish I could say that.

- I wonder what's wrong with him.
- I don't know.

- Hey, Brandon, you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, what's it take to get a piece of pie
around here anyway, huh?

What a difference a day makes.

Yesterday, I was this close to quitting
and I kept on thinking,

"Why should I let these people
intimidate me?"

And then once Kelly said
"Don't take it so seriously,"

I thought of that waitress that works
at the Big Boy on Hoover Street.

And when I found those old glasses,
Laverne just suddenly showed up.

- Well, it sounds truly inspired.
- And inspiring.

- Brandon never pulled in tips like this.
- Not even close.

- She set an all-time record.
- I don't know about that,

but Nat is really jazzed
about the receipts.

From the way he's talking, it sounds
like this could almost become

a permanent thing.

Well, at least I can help him upgrade
the jukebox and liven up the decor.

Now excuse me,
I have to go stuff my mattress.

I thought surely you'd be hitting
the shopping malls with all that loot.

No, I'm saving up for something special.

With both kids working,
I'm ready for an early retirement.

- How did things go yesterday?
- It went.

It's not as easy as it looks.

- Well, what's on tap for next week?
- Maybe some looping.

- What's looping?
- It's when they fix the soundtrack.

You're starting to sound like an old pro,
a real veteran.

Of which war?

Thanks. Nine times out of 10,
I make that shot.

I believe you.

- Wait a second, are you...
- Yeah.

I phoned your mother,
she told me you'd be here.

I didn't feel like being loved
by the public today.

Well, you came to the right place.

- Hey, I don't deserve that.
- Come on, Lydia.

You used me to get back at Sean.
That's it, plain and simple.

I know it looks that way,
but I'm really not that calculating.

Oh, that's right.

I was in the right place at the right time.

And you think you were my
"flavor of the week"?

- Wasn't I?
- If you were, you think I'd be here?

Brandon, guys try to pick me up
all the time.

I admit, sometimes
I'm not that discriminating,

but you made me feel
like I didn't have to act.

Which is all I've been doing
since I'm 10 years old.

It's hard to figure out who you are

when you're always pretending
to be somebody else.

- Well, I liked the person I thought I met.
- And she liked you.

Until Sean came back in the picture.

Brandon, he was never really gone.

Oh, I see,
so I was the guy on the rebound, huh?

- I wouldn't put it that way.
- Well, how would you put it?

You're the natural from Minnesota
who knows how to kiss.

- So I guess this is it, huh?
- Not necessarily.

Jake loved your dailies,
and he's gonna test market

your character with a target audience.

- You're kidding?
- Nope, they are really high on you.

You know, I did think
we nailed that last take.

I know, so did I.

- So we'll keep in touch?
- Absolutely.

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

What, opening night jitters, big guy?

- Brandon, is this the right channel?
- Yes, Andrea.

Brandon, don't worry about it.
My mom gets the same way

before a show,
but afterwards she'll just pig out.

Brenda's gonna miss it.

She said she was gonna leave
work early.

This is Brandon's big moment.

You'd think she'd make a point
of getting here and supporting him.

Maybe she forgot to tell Laverne.

Oh, here they are!

Hey, way to go, toots.
Nothing like making an entrance.

Hey, I'm charmed, I'm sure.
I didn't miss it, did I?

- You're right on time.
- Oh, have a piece of cake?

- Where's it from?
- Come on, spare us, Kelly.

- So, how are you doing?
- I'm standing.

- How are you doing?
- Well, tips were bountiful, as usual.

I got an ovation for my rendition
of Material Girl.

Oh, and Nat brought along
his portable TV set,

so he won't miss the show.

This is it, you guys. Keep it...
Okay, quiet. Quiet.

- What scene are you in, man?
- It's the one right after this one.

Lydia leaves the party,
she goes in the bedroom, sees me,

and says, "I was hoping you'd be here."

And then...

Well, you'll see.

I was hoping you'd be here.

When did Sean Judson
get back on the show?

Yeah, listen, don't feel bad.

You're paying your dues.
Even my mother's ended up

on the cutting room floor.

Say hi for me.

- All right. Goodnight, Bran.
- Goodnight.

I think you should sue them
for misrepresentation. I really do.

Thanks, Andrea. See you Monday.

You want my honest opinion?
You lucked out.

I wouldn't want my name on that, man.

It's got to be the worst show
on television.

Yeah, well, it's also in the top ten
every week.

Yeah, well,
there's no accounting for taste.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Maybe they'll put your scenes
in next week's episode.

Like deja vu or something.

- Goodnight, Kelly.
- Goodnight, Brandon.

- You want a piece?
- No, thanks.

You know how it is
when you're pushing pies.

You lose your sweet tooth.

You've been awfully quiet.

Are you merely avoiding comment
on one of the most embarrassing,

- most mind-blowing, most...
- Humiliating.

- Degrading.
- But character building.

But not-worth-it experiences
a person can have in a lifetime?

I can't believe Lydia could be so cold.

- Why, because she didn't call?
- Yeah, she should have warned you.

What was she supposed to say?
"Hi, Brandon, it's Lydia.

"Sorry I have to dump on you again,
but, hey, that's showbiz."

Well, you're definitely
more forgiving than I am.

Here you go.

You know, Brenda, I've been thinking.

You should keep the job
at the Peach Pit.

- You've earned it.
- Brandon.

No, look it.

There are other jobs I can find,
other things I can do,

with the school paper
and my hockey game.

- Brandon.
- Take it, Brenda. I'm giving it to you.

Brandon, I don't want it. It's too hard.
It's too exhausting.

Thanks for thinking about me.

Brenda, how can you just walk away?
You're raking in the bucks.

Yeah, but I have enough in my mattress
to pay for what I wanted.

What's that?

Acting lessons.

Brenda, you don't really want to do that,
do you?

No, but Laverne just won't
leave me alone.