Better Things (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Alarms - full transcript
Sam deals with some situations.
Whoo! Yeah!
Do you wanna smoke?
Oh.
No, I'm... I'm okay.
Is this your place?
You don't smoke?
No, I'm good with my beer.
I like to drink.
I like to drink, too,
do you like the space?
Oh, yeah.
Are you kidding me?
It's amazing.
It's so cool.
God, you're adorable.
I'm...
You an artist?
Oh, no.
I'm just an art lover.
Well, I'm a, uh...
A lover of art lovers.
Does that count at all, or...
Mm-hmm.
Those are my sculptures
there in the front.
Really? I love them.
The-the lady torso things?
- They're so beautiful.
- Yeah, well, yeah.
It's bullshit,
but it sells.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hi.
Hi there.
Oh.
Hey, I want you to meet
my friend Roscoe.
Okay, baby.
Nice to meet you.
No... very nice. Yes.
- Enjoy the beer.
- I am.
- Uh-huh.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
Roscoe's chicken & waffles.
All right, well...
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
It's time to wake up
- hi.
- Hi.
What happened?
Brush your teeth,
take a cup
did you tell his wife
that you're gay?
- I don't think I had to.
- Mm-hmm.
Meanwhile, in other news,
I just got cock-blocked
by my daughter.
Huh. You wanna get out of here?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Don't like those.
Love your work.
Come on, now.
Look, I'm finally
getting some titty.
Remember when Paul McCartney
married that...
That teenage one-legged model
for five minutes?
And for that, she got to keep
all his Beatles money?
Like, just because
he wanted to shtupp her,
she got to keep half
of his genius money.
And then he married
a lady 10 years younger,
and everybody was like,
"eww! What does he have,
like, an old-lady fetish?"
- Asshole, wake up.
- What?
You're sleeping.
I'm pouring my heart out to you.
You were? What did I miss?
I can't believe
how old we are.
I can't believe
how good we look.
It's so crazy.
It's like, right now,
it just feels like
50th birthday parties,
gay weddings, and funerals.
I mean...
I used to think the scary part
about getting older was dying,
and it turns out that
the scary part of getting older
is young people.
It's like we're the Indians,
and they're the white settlers,
and they keep coming
and they take all our resources,
and all we're left with
is diseased blankets.
I'm afraid of dying.
You are?
Have another Ruby red, ed.
Yes, pats.
Honey...
You need to start writing.
When are you gonna
write a book?
I know.
I got a hundred things
i have to do.
I have to hurry up
and get gay married
so I can get gay divorced
and then gay retire.
I want to get gay married.
You are... to me.
Let me have a cigarette.
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
- Being bad.
- Mm-hmm.
Mother, you had me
but I never had you
I wanted you
you didn't want me
- come on, I wanna see.
- No, mom.
- Did you like it?
- No.
- Wait, can I have it,
since you don't like it?
- No!
- Uh!
- God!
Come on, Max, I wanna see.
I'm trying it!
Stop knocking.
Hey, siri,
what's the difference between
the white man's burden
and the black man's burden?
- Here's what I found
on the web for
what's the difference between
the white man's burden
and the black man's burden.
Max, come on, already.
I wanna see.
It's fine.
You don't need to see,
you just need to buy it.
. It is so sweet
that you have three girls.
- Angels.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Fake.
Fake.
Ladies, please enjoy
the course.
Thank you, chef daria.
Very nice. Very, very young.
- Not illegal.
- Really cute.
- Joy, smell this.
- Yeah, it's great.
- No, it's okay.
Get in there.
- It's fine.
- I can't really smell things.
- Sam, she has allergies.
No, it's from my brain surgery.
- Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I forgot.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry, you had
brain surgery? - Mmm.
Yes, she had brain surgery.
I mean, they cut her head open,
and she was at work, like,
a month later.
It's fine, okay?
It wasn't cancer or anything.
It was right in the front.
Really easy to take out.
Someone even said,
"this is, like,
the best possible
brain tumor"
and I'm not bragging.
You know what?
They didn't even have
to shave my head.
What they did is, like,
they sucked it out
through my nose with,
like, a straw...
Like, a medical straw.
Did you think you were
gonna die or anything?
No, not really.
Not, like, seriously.
- Not even when
they first told you?
- No.
It was my ear, nose,
and throat doctor
who found it.
When he called me,
he was like,
"there's this thing
on your mri.
95% of the time,
they're benign.
I'm gonna put you together
with a brain surgeon."
Actually, he just
texted me earlier...
The brain surgeon.
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
I guess we're
sort of friends now.
He wants me to set him up
with someone.
It does seem fast
to be back on your feet
after brain surgery.
Right. Yeah,
that's what I think.
Wait. Your...
Your brain surgeon
just texted you?
- Yeah.
- To hook him up?
That's weird, right?
And I don't wanna set
people up anymore, okay?
- I hate it.
- Why doesn't he just date you?
I mean, you're single.
What's your problem?
What are you doing?
What?
Oh, my god.
Jeff's on tinder?
What? Oh, no.
Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.
- That's shit.
- You husband is on tinder?
- Joy, no offense.
don't comment.
- Sorry.
- What are you doing?
- I'm calling Jeff.
- No, don't! don't!
- No!
Enough with this shit, sunny!
Honey, I can't.
You can't... it's my life.
It's hard to watch.
I love you.
You think it's harder to watch
than it is to be living it?
Yeah, it might be.
That is mea...
Tha-that's just mean.
I know.
And that's all I have
for you right now.
I don't know know
what to say.
Jesus Christ,
i hate him so much.
I just feel like...
Okay, you got out of yours.
But i...
Not everybody's ready when
you want them to be ready.
You're right.
- Sorry. I'm really...
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Lunches are ready.
- Thanks, mom.
- You got it.
Jessie, come get your lunch.
I don't eat lunch.
Honey, you're growing.
And please stop,
by the way.
- Good morning, family.
I'm so excited
to start another day.
- I'm not.
- He won't eat his lunch.
That's my boy.
You don't eat your lunch.
You eat the other guy's lunch,
am I right?
- Yeah. Whatever, dad.
- That's my boy again.
Don't listen to anyone
over 30.
And cut.
It needs something
funnier there.
Well, we, uh, need
to take a break,
but, you know,
we'll work on it.
Okay.
- Sammy, great as always.
- Okay, Greg.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Will you run the next scene
with me?
Oh, sure.
Come on, I'm just
finishing up some kid shit.
Okay.
So you're a real mom, huh?
Yes, sir, I am.
Wow.
It's so weird
you're playing my mom.
Why?
Well, because you're hot.
I'd hook up with you.
Which scene do you wanna run?
Uh, the first one
we're doing today.
It's 2A.
Okay.
Hey.
This is a nightmare.
- Are they keeping the audience?
- I think we're letting them go.
- Oy.
- Please.
You know how many pilots
I've shot never made it
to broadcast?
I don't even care anymore.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
You are hilarious,
by the way.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- You, too.
And you're a hottie.
Mmm!
Slap a pair of tits on you,
you'd be just my type.
Ha! Yeah.
Must be easier for you,
though, right?
I mean, you come in,
you do a day's work,
get to move on.
Me, it's just...
The pressure, you know,
of being the guy.
- It's my show.
- Yeah.
Everything's on me, so...
Yeah, I feel you.
I mean, I had four failed
pilots by the time I was 13.
- Oh, shit. That's brutal.
- Yeah.
- Glad I didn't start young.
They're firing that Jessie kid,
by the way.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
Happening right over there,
you wanna watch.
- Oh, shit.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay.
- Hi, Jessie.
- Hi, Sam.
Buddy...
It's humiliating.
I know.
Listen, you can't cry.
You just can't cry.
You're never gonna make it
unless you learn how
to be fired.
- Can you drive me home?
- Oh.
My friend drove me.
I don't have a car.
I don't think I can
even afford to live now.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course. Come on.
Okay.
Just keep taking your classes
and keep trying.
Don't give up.
You chose to be an actor.
- It's not easy.
- Yeah.
- You're being so cool.
- That's okay.
Can I say something
kind of weird?
Uh, what? Yeah.
I'm totally hard right now.
Oh, shit, dude.
I'm sorry. It's just...
You really make me feel crazy.
I have such a boner.
- Can I take it out?
- No, no.
- Please, I have to
- no, no!
- I gotta take it out.
- Stop it! Get out!
- Keep the jacket.
- Don't tell anybody.
Oh, Jesus.
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
Did you order?
- Yeah.
- Mmm-Kay.
- Hey.
- Hello.
I'll just have some beets.
The beets.
- Great
- thanks.
So how are you?
Uh, I'm doing well.
Yeah.
Good. Good.
You look well.
How are the girls?
Oh, they're, um...
Everything okay?
Yes, Zander,
everything's fine.
You're daughters are fine.
You're fine.
There's just something
i wanted to discuss with you.
Okay.
Um, and I'm gonna ask you...
Before I begin,
to keep an open mind.
Okay. Yes. My mind is open.
It's completely open.
I can't wait.
Um, I'm putting
a project together,
which means I'm gonna be
in town for the whole summer.
Okay.
And, um, and I'm looking at
a place in the valley
not far from our house.
From the... the girls' home.
Your home.
Mm-hmm.
I just thought maybe
we could talk about
how the summer would go.
Oh. Well,
if you wanna spend time
with the girls this summer,
that would be great.
Do you want them
for the summer?
There's camps and stuff,
but I'm happy to help you
work all that out.
Well, the thing is, um...
This job is going
to take up a lot of time.
These people are
really depending on me
to shape the whole project.
I mean, really, it's on me.
It's a huge project.
Um, it's actually
really exciting.
Okay, so what are you
asking me for?
Do you wanna see the girls
this summer,
or you don't?
Well, it might be awkward
because I'm gonna be
right nearby,
but I'm not gonna have
much time.
Okay, I got it.
You want me to help you
make the girls not be upset
that they still
won't get to see you
even though
you're gonna be around.
It's... it-it...
It's a really
big opportunity.
Zander, they don't care.
- Hey...
- yeah, I'm telling you
good news here, man.
You don't have to worry
about it. They're living
their lives.
I mean, they're happy
if they get to see you,
but they don't expect
anything from you.
That's not fair.
You're right, it isn't.
You're always so superior.
Thank you.
Okay.
I just wanna die right now.
You know, I...
I'm not gonna
eat these beets.
I'm gonna go.
Okay. Yeah. Great.
Thanks for your help.
Thank you for your help.
Mom, gram.
Gram's home.
Ugh!
It'll stop.
She'll get it.
I'll be right back.
Watch the stove.
Mom?
- Mom?
Yes, hello?
Hi. Hi.
Yes.
Everything's okay.
The password is tweedledee.
- Yes. Thank you.
- Why is my door open?
- Hi. Mom?
- Hello?
- Mom, hi, I'm here. I'm here.
- Hello, sweetheart.
Hi. Your alarm was going crazy.
- It was? Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
Yeah. Mom, why do you
even set it?
Who's gonna come in here?
They'd be scared of all
the piles.
Well, I like it.
And it comforts me.
And I like my things.
Okay.
- Mom?
- Hmm?
What if I paid you to clean off
one surface in your house?
- Just one. Just one.
- Well, I'll have you know,
I've been weeding out. I got rid
of several papers yesterday,
and I've got a bag
in the garage ready to donate.
Do you want to see
the shoes I got today?
- I've got three different...
- Okay, great. If you have
a bag ready to donate,
can you give it to me,
so I can get rid of it
for you today?
No, sweetheart,
I'm adding to it.
I'm not ready for you
to take it yet.
- You look so pretty
in that color.
- Okay.
You wanna come for dinner?
I'm making.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Um, but I've got bridge.
- Okay. See you.
- Oh, before you go,
um, can you come have
a look at my printer?
Because I'm having
a devil of a time
trying to get some
important papers printed out.
- Okay, sure.
- It's just in here.
Phyl, where's your printer?
It's over there, darling.
Look, there.
Oh, well, I have
to take this off of it.
Yes. Put it over there.
Okay. It wasn't turned on.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Isn't that strange.
It was turned on.
You sure you didn't
turn it off?
- Oh...
Or maybe that's why
the alarm went off.
Perhaps somebody was in here
and they turned my printer off.
Okay.
Well, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Um, oh, do you have
any, uh, vodka?
I always have vodka.
It's in the garage
in the freezer.
Okay.
This is very peculiar.
That's called blue ice,
and it's very good vodka,
and it's American made,
which is important.
I know, I know.
Ow!
My damn hands.
Oh, god.
Did you ask your doctor
if he could get you pot?
Yes, I did, but he said he
couldn't prescribe it to me,
only to cancer patients.
Oh, god.
I'm gonna have Macy
get you some.
- All right, dear.
- It's very easy.
Um, but I don't
like to smoke it.
I wouldn't mind
to eat some of it,
but I don't like
the smoking of it.
I was told there was
a candy or something.
- Not too sweet.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they have all that stuff.
I'll get it for you with Macy.
- Okay? Schnapps.
- Okay, dear. Mmm.
I had jury duty this week.
Believe it or not,
i was on a jury.
And it was only
a couple of days,
but it was fascinating to me.
My first time called,
and I was, you know,
chosen at random
to be on the jury.
And they chose me
to be the foreperson.
- Okay, well, bye.
- Oh, come.
All right.
Mom, please don't touch
my hair.
I can't win,
bad girl, bad girl.
Mom. Mom? Can we get rid
of some of these things?
Please. Please.
Don't the piles make you crazy?
Can we get rid
of some of the piles?
Do you see the piles?
I don't want to talk
about it!
Please!
It makes me upset.
I've had a very long day,
and I just want to have
a little rest before I go out.
Okay. I'm sorry. Okay.
Let's go.
We're gonna have dinner.
You're coming.
No, I can't,
because it's bridge.
No, bridge is tomorrow.
- What's today?
- Today's Tuesday.
- Bridge is Wednesday.
- Oh, so it is.
Okay. Tell me about jury duty.
Well, I thought it was
a murderer's case,
because the man in the dark
had eyebrows that met together,
and he had a very
sort of grim face.
- Oh, wait, hang on.
- So I thought that
it was definitely him.
And I said to my
fellow jury people,
"let's convict him."
Because I just wouldn't have
trusted a man like that.
Um, you know,
he may have been,
you know, a perfectly
nice person.
All over town
just to see if he's around
and if she finds
it impossible
that woman, that woman
will still give it a try
she'll give it a try
I know it's kind
of hard sometimes
to try to hold 'em down
oh, especially
if he wants to go
oh, but I...
Do you wanna smoke?
Oh.
No, I'm... I'm okay.
Is this your place?
You don't smoke?
No, I'm good with my beer.
I like to drink.
I like to drink, too,
do you like the space?
Oh, yeah.
Are you kidding me?
It's amazing.
It's so cool.
God, you're adorable.
I'm...
You an artist?
Oh, no.
I'm just an art lover.
Well, I'm a, uh...
A lover of art lovers.
Does that count at all, or...
Mm-hmm.
Those are my sculptures
there in the front.
Really? I love them.
The-the lady torso things?
- They're so beautiful.
- Yeah, well, yeah.
It's bullshit,
but it sells.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hi.
Hi there.
Oh.
Hey, I want you to meet
my friend Roscoe.
Okay, baby.
Nice to meet you.
No... very nice. Yes.
- Enjoy the beer.
- I am.
- Uh-huh.
- Come on.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
Roscoe's chicken & waffles.
All right, well...
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
It's time to wake up
- hi.
- Hi.
What happened?
Brush your teeth,
take a cup
did you tell his wife
that you're gay?
- I don't think I had to.
- Mm-hmm.
Meanwhile, in other news,
I just got cock-blocked
by my daughter.
Huh. You wanna get out of here?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Yeah.
Don't like those.
Love your work.
Come on, now.
Look, I'm finally
getting some titty.
Remember when Paul McCartney
married that...
That teenage one-legged model
for five minutes?
And for that, she got to keep
all his Beatles money?
Like, just because
he wanted to shtupp her,
she got to keep half
of his genius money.
And then he married
a lady 10 years younger,
and everybody was like,
"eww! What does he have,
like, an old-lady fetish?"
- Asshole, wake up.
- What?
You're sleeping.
I'm pouring my heart out to you.
You were? What did I miss?
I can't believe
how old we are.
I can't believe
how good we look.
It's so crazy.
It's like, right now,
it just feels like
50th birthday parties,
gay weddings, and funerals.
I mean...
I used to think the scary part
about getting older was dying,
and it turns out that
the scary part of getting older
is young people.
It's like we're the Indians,
and they're the white settlers,
and they keep coming
and they take all our resources,
and all we're left with
is diseased blankets.
I'm afraid of dying.
You are?
Have another Ruby red, ed.
Yes, pats.
Honey...
You need to start writing.
When are you gonna
write a book?
I know.
I got a hundred things
i have to do.
I have to hurry up
and get gay married
so I can get gay divorced
and then gay retire.
I want to get gay married.
You are... to me.
Let me have a cigarette.
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
- Being bad.
- Mm-hmm.
Mother, you had me
but I never had you
I wanted you
you didn't want me
- come on, I wanna see.
- No, mom.
- Did you like it?
- No.
- Wait, can I have it,
since you don't like it?
- No!
- Uh!
- God!
Come on, Max, I wanna see.
I'm trying it!
Stop knocking.
Hey, siri,
what's the difference between
the white man's burden
and the black man's burden?
- Here's what I found
on the web for
what's the difference between
the white man's burden
and the black man's burden.
Max, come on, already.
I wanna see.
It's fine.
You don't need to see,
you just need to buy it.
. It is so sweet
that you have three girls.
- Angels.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Fake.
Fake.
Ladies, please enjoy
the course.
Thank you, chef daria.
Very nice. Very, very young.
- Not illegal.
- Really cute.
- Joy, smell this.
- Yeah, it's great.
- No, it's okay.
Get in there.
- It's fine.
- I can't really smell things.
- Sam, she has allergies.
No, it's from my brain surgery.
- Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I forgot.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry, you had
brain surgery? - Mmm.
Yes, she had brain surgery.
I mean, they cut her head open,
and she was at work, like,
a month later.
It's fine, okay?
It wasn't cancer or anything.
It was right in the front.
Really easy to take out.
Someone even said,
"this is, like,
the best possible
brain tumor"
and I'm not bragging.
You know what?
They didn't even have
to shave my head.
What they did is, like,
they sucked it out
through my nose with,
like, a straw...
Like, a medical straw.
Did you think you were
gonna die or anything?
No, not really.
Not, like, seriously.
- Not even when
they first told you?
- No.
It was my ear, nose,
and throat doctor
who found it.
When he called me,
he was like,
"there's this thing
on your mri.
95% of the time,
they're benign.
I'm gonna put you together
with a brain surgeon."
Actually, he just
texted me earlier...
The brain surgeon.
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
I guess we're
sort of friends now.
He wants me to set him up
with someone.
It does seem fast
to be back on your feet
after brain surgery.
Right. Yeah,
that's what I think.
Wait. Your...
Your brain surgeon
just texted you?
- Yeah.
- To hook him up?
That's weird, right?
And I don't wanna set
people up anymore, okay?
- I hate it.
- Why doesn't he just date you?
I mean, you're single.
What's your problem?
What are you doing?
What?
Oh, my god.
Jeff's on tinder?
What? Oh, no.
Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.
- That's shit.
- You husband is on tinder?
- Joy, no offense.
don't comment.
- Sorry.
- What are you doing?
- I'm calling Jeff.
- No, don't! don't!
- No!
Enough with this shit, sunny!
Honey, I can't.
You can't... it's my life.
It's hard to watch.
I love you.
You think it's harder to watch
than it is to be living it?
Yeah, it might be.
That is mea...
Tha-that's just mean.
I know.
And that's all I have
for you right now.
I don't know know
what to say.
Jesus Christ,
i hate him so much.
I just feel like...
Okay, you got out of yours.
But i...
Not everybody's ready when
you want them to be ready.
You're right.
- Sorry. I'm really...
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Lunches are ready.
- Thanks, mom.
- You got it.
Jessie, come get your lunch.
I don't eat lunch.
Honey, you're growing.
And please stop,
by the way.
- Good morning, family.
I'm so excited
to start another day.
- I'm not.
- He won't eat his lunch.
That's my boy.
You don't eat your lunch.
You eat the other guy's lunch,
am I right?
- Yeah. Whatever, dad.
- That's my boy again.
Don't listen to anyone
over 30.
And cut.
It needs something
funnier there.
Well, we, uh, need
to take a break,
but, you know,
we'll work on it.
Okay.
- Sammy, great as always.
- Okay, Greg.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Will you run the next scene
with me?
Oh, sure.
Come on, I'm just
finishing up some kid shit.
Okay.
So you're a real mom, huh?
Yes, sir, I am.
Wow.
It's so weird
you're playing my mom.
Why?
Well, because you're hot.
I'd hook up with you.
Which scene do you wanna run?
Uh, the first one
we're doing today.
It's 2A.
Okay.
Hey.
This is a nightmare.
- Are they keeping the audience?
- I think we're letting them go.
- Oy.
- Please.
You know how many pilots
I've shot never made it
to broadcast?
I don't even care anymore.
- Yeah.
- Hmm.
You are hilarious,
by the way.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- You, too.
And you're a hottie.
Mmm!
Slap a pair of tits on you,
you'd be just my type.
Ha! Yeah.
Must be easier for you,
though, right?
I mean, you come in,
you do a day's work,
get to move on.
Me, it's just...
The pressure, you know,
of being the guy.
- It's my show.
- Yeah.
Everything's on me, so...
Yeah, I feel you.
I mean, I had four failed
pilots by the time I was 13.
- Oh, shit. That's brutal.
- Yeah.
- Glad I didn't start young.
They're firing that Jessie kid,
by the way.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
Happening right over there,
you wanna watch.
- Oh, shit.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay.
- Hi, Jessie.
- Hi, Sam.
Buddy...
It's humiliating.
I know.
Listen, you can't cry.
You just can't cry.
You're never gonna make it
unless you learn how
to be fired.
- Can you drive me home?
- Oh.
My friend drove me.
I don't have a car.
I don't think I can
even afford to live now.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course. Come on.
Okay.
Just keep taking your classes
and keep trying.
Don't give up.
You chose to be an actor.
- It's not easy.
- Yeah.
- You're being so cool.
- That's okay.
Can I say something
kind of weird?
Uh, what? Yeah.
I'm totally hard right now.
Oh, shit, dude.
I'm sorry. It's just...
You really make me feel crazy.
I have such a boner.
- Can I take it out?
- No, no.
- Please, I have to
- no, no!
- I gotta take it out.
- Stop it! Get out!
- Keep the jacket.
- Don't tell anybody.
Oh, Jesus.
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
Did you order?
- Yeah.
- Mmm-Kay.
- Hey.
- Hello.
I'll just have some beets.
The beets.
- Great
- thanks.
So how are you?
Uh, I'm doing well.
Yeah.
Good. Good.
You look well.
How are the girls?
Oh, they're, um...
Everything okay?
Yes, Zander,
everything's fine.
You're daughters are fine.
You're fine.
There's just something
i wanted to discuss with you.
Okay.
Um, and I'm gonna ask you...
Before I begin,
to keep an open mind.
Okay. Yes. My mind is open.
It's completely open.
I can't wait.
Um, I'm putting
a project together,
which means I'm gonna be
in town for the whole summer.
Okay.
And, um, and I'm looking at
a place in the valley
not far from our house.
From the... the girls' home.
Your home.
Mm-hmm.
I just thought maybe
we could talk about
how the summer would go.
Oh. Well,
if you wanna spend time
with the girls this summer,
that would be great.
Do you want them
for the summer?
There's camps and stuff,
but I'm happy to help you
work all that out.
Well, the thing is, um...
This job is going
to take up a lot of time.
These people are
really depending on me
to shape the whole project.
I mean, really, it's on me.
It's a huge project.
Um, it's actually
really exciting.
Okay, so what are you
asking me for?
Do you wanna see the girls
this summer,
or you don't?
Well, it might be awkward
because I'm gonna be
right nearby,
but I'm not gonna have
much time.
Okay, I got it.
You want me to help you
make the girls not be upset
that they still
won't get to see you
even though
you're gonna be around.
It's... it-it...
It's a really
big opportunity.
Zander, they don't care.
- Hey...
- yeah, I'm telling you
good news here, man.
You don't have to worry
about it. They're living
their lives.
I mean, they're happy
if they get to see you,
but they don't expect
anything from you.
That's not fair.
You're right, it isn't.
You're always so superior.
Thank you.
Okay.
I just wanna die right now.
You know, I...
I'm not gonna
eat these beets.
I'm gonna go.
Okay. Yeah. Great.
Thanks for your help.
Thank you for your help.
Mom, gram.
Gram's home.
Ugh!
It'll stop.
She'll get it.
I'll be right back.
Watch the stove.
Mom?
- Mom?
Yes, hello?
Hi. Hi.
Yes.
Everything's okay.
The password is tweedledee.
- Yes. Thank you.
- Why is my door open?
- Hi. Mom?
- Hello?
- Mom, hi, I'm here. I'm here.
- Hello, sweetheart.
Hi. Your alarm was going crazy.
- It was? Oh, dear.
- Yeah.
Yeah. Mom, why do you
even set it?
Who's gonna come in here?
They'd be scared of all
the piles.
Well, I like it.
And it comforts me.
And I like my things.
Okay.
- Mom?
- Hmm?
What if I paid you to clean off
one surface in your house?
- Just one. Just one.
- Well, I'll have you know,
I've been weeding out. I got rid
of several papers yesterday,
and I've got a bag
in the garage ready to donate.
Do you want to see
the shoes I got today?
- I've got three different...
- Okay, great. If you have
a bag ready to donate,
can you give it to me,
so I can get rid of it
for you today?
No, sweetheart,
I'm adding to it.
I'm not ready for you
to take it yet.
- You look so pretty
in that color.
- Okay.
You wanna come for dinner?
I'm making.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Um, but I've got bridge.
- Okay. See you.
- Oh, before you go,
um, can you come have
a look at my printer?
Because I'm having
a devil of a time
trying to get some
important papers printed out.
- Okay, sure.
- It's just in here.
Phyl, where's your printer?
It's over there, darling.
Look, there.
Oh, well, I have
to take this off of it.
Yes. Put it over there.
Okay. It wasn't turned on.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Isn't that strange.
It was turned on.
You sure you didn't
turn it off?
- Oh...
Or maybe that's why
the alarm went off.
Perhaps somebody was in here
and they turned my printer off.
Okay.
Well, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Um, oh, do you have
any, uh, vodka?
I always have vodka.
It's in the garage
in the freezer.
Okay.
This is very peculiar.
That's called blue ice,
and it's very good vodka,
and it's American made,
which is important.
I know, I know.
Ow!
My damn hands.
Oh, god.
Did you ask your doctor
if he could get you pot?
Yes, I did, but he said he
couldn't prescribe it to me,
only to cancer patients.
Oh, god.
I'm gonna have Macy
get you some.
- All right, dear.
- It's very easy.
Um, but I don't
like to smoke it.
I wouldn't mind
to eat some of it,
but I don't like
the smoking of it.
I was told there was
a candy or something.
- Not too sweet.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they have all that stuff.
I'll get it for you with Macy.
- Okay? Schnapps.
- Okay, dear. Mmm.
I had jury duty this week.
Believe it or not,
i was on a jury.
And it was only
a couple of days,
but it was fascinating to me.
My first time called,
and I was, you know,
chosen at random
to be on the jury.
And they chose me
to be the foreperson.
- Okay, well, bye.
- Oh, come.
All right.
Mom, please don't touch
my hair.
I can't win,
bad girl, bad girl.
Mom. Mom? Can we get rid
of some of these things?
Please. Please.
Don't the piles make you crazy?
Can we get rid
of some of the piles?
Do you see the piles?
I don't want to talk
about it!
Please!
It makes me upset.
I've had a very long day,
and I just want to have
a little rest before I go out.
Okay. I'm sorry. Okay.
Let's go.
We're gonna have dinner.
You're coming.
No, I can't,
because it's bridge.
No, bridge is tomorrow.
- What's today?
- Today's Tuesday.
- Bridge is Wednesday.
- Oh, so it is.
Okay. Tell me about jury duty.
Well, I thought it was
a murderer's case,
because the man in the dark
had eyebrows that met together,
and he had a very
sort of grim face.
- Oh, wait, hang on.
- So I thought that
it was definitely him.
And I said to my
fellow jury people,
"let's convict him."
Because I just wouldn't have
trusted a man like that.
Um, you know,
he may have been,
you know, a perfectly
nice person.
All over town
just to see if he's around
and if she finds
it impossible
that woman, that woman
will still give it a try
she'll give it a try
I know it's kind
of hard sometimes
to try to hold 'em down
oh, especially
if he wants to go
oh, but I...