Better Call Saul (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 2 - 50% Off - full transcript

Jimmy's promotional stunt has unintended consequences. Nacho takes extreme measures to earn Lalo's trust. Saul is a success at the courthouse, but still has yet to win Kim over. Simmering with rage and self-loathing, Mike loses his temper.

Some went to your organization.

That explains everything.

As long as Salamanca is
on this side of the border,

we cannot continue as we were.

You keep your goddamn retainer.

Nonviolent felonies, 50% off.

I just can't see it.

Next!

How about, uh,
special discounts?

Um, for the next, uh, two weeks,

um, non-violent felonies
50% off.



Yeah.

Okay.

I'll take one.
Yeah? That's for you.

50% off. Yeah.
Alright.

Now we got some takers.

There you are.
Oh, yeah?

Who else? 50% off.

There you are.

50% off.

Dude, that's almost half.

Ahh! Oh, my God!

- Hey!
- Whoo!

You bastards!

Money, money, money!



Money, money, money!

- I got my buddy!
- Yeah!

Mwah!

Hyah!

Aah!

Come on!

Get back here, you little shits!

Aah!

I'm okay!

50% off! 50% off!

Unh. Ahh!

Ah. Yo. What?

Dude. What?

What day is it?

Uh...

Tuesday?

Tuesday?

What? You know what that means?

50% off! 50% off!

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or your money back.

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Sh...

Baby, what's happening?

Aah! What's happening?!

Get off me, man.

It's okay.

Come on, man.
What's he want from me?

I switched the stuff.
I played it all like he told me.

No.

No.

What are we doin'?

Come on, man. Don't.

We got five people in there.

Too bad.

Wait. Hey, wait. Wait.

Hey. Hey, wait! Wait!

Hey, wait!

Why's he doin' this?

Hey, why's he doin' this?
I did everything.

Wait.

Please, man. Please, man.

Please, no. Please, no.

Please.

Hey, please.

Please, man.

Okay.

I get it.

Just tell me
what you want me to do.

Lalo Salamanca.

I need to know
where he is going.

What he is thinking.

What he is planning.

I need to know what he's
going to do before he does it.

I've been trying.

Okay?

He doesn't tell me shit.

He just keeps talking about
some guy named Werner Ziegler

and some gringo Michael.

That's it.

Gain his confidence.

Make him rely on you.

How?

Find a way.

My father has nothing
to do with this.

I'll find a way.
I'll make him trust me.

Okay?

Pop's a nice guy.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure.

Let me see if I have this right.

Uh, a Mr. Bertram Moran,
AKA "B-Mo,"

claims that you solicited him
for the purchase of narcotics

when, in fact, you were simply
enjoying a Big Gulp in the park

when he approached
and attempted to sell to you.

Oh! I got a live one.

Yes, PJ. Go ahead.

Kim, sorry. My side is too full.

I'm gonna take some of those
back to Mrs. Nguyen's.

Uh-huh.

Well, I think
I got the specifics.

I'll call you later.

Geez. Chatty one.

So, uh, hey, how's it going
with, uh, "Cold Finger,"

the mini-fridge mastermind?

You get a trial date yet?

Uh, no.

He took the deal.

He took the five months?

Yup.

Well, you were right, as usual.

Saul Goodman,
speedy justice for you.

Yes, Miss, I... Uh-huh.

Oh, no.

Well, that's not right.

Yeah. Go on.

C-Could you hold for a moment?

Kim, how about dinner
and a movie tonight?

I'm... Scampi and Scorsese

'cause they got "After Hours"
on the Classic Movie Channel.

I love that one,
but, um, we'll have to see.

I might need to stay late.

Okay. Just let me know.

Yeah. I'll see ya.

Yeah, so, go ahead.

Something about a minivan?

Kim. Jimmy, what are you...

There's something
I got to show you.

It's just three blocks
from here.

Look, I...

I know you got to get to work.

This'll only take
a couple minutes.

Please. D-Drive.

If we go right now,
it'll be over like that.

Which way?

Take a right.

There. Right there.
The white one?

Yeah. That one right there.

Jimmy, we're not buying a house.

Maybe not today, but it doesn't
hurt to look, does it?

I drove by this place like
a week ago, and I'm curious.

Aren't you, just a little?

Look at all that space.

Hey, you're doin' great.

I'm gonna be doin' great.

I got 45 clients.

45? How are you gonna
handle all that?

I got a system.
But can we just look?

They're not even open yet.

Yeah, well...

They want to sell this house.
They'll let us in.

Alright.

Hey, folks.

Do you mind signing in?

There's a guest book
right over here.

You know what?

Um, could we do that
on our way out?

Sure. Yeah.

Just take your time.
Have a look around.

Let me know if you
have any questions.

You got it. Thanks.

Man, look at
all this wall space.

Imagine a plasma TV
mounted right there,

one of the huge new ones.

This would be a big change,
but we could make it our own.

We could host movie nights.

Some comfy chairs and smell
of popcorn in the air

and... and...

check out these countertops.

Yeah.

Blue. Is this quartz?

I-I read somewhere
that it's good for healing.

Kim: Mm, so good for healing.

Hey, you know that, uh, 50%-off
thing I said I wouldn't do?

Well, I did it.

I, um, told a few
potential clients.

It just kind of slipped out.

And don't worry.
I know these people.

They're not gonna do anything
'cause of some stupid discount.

But it was a bonehead move,
and I shouldn't have done it.

Okay.

Jimmy, I know you were trying
to help, but...

I don't want to lie
to my clients.

You're talking about
the fridge guy?

That... That was a dumb idea.

I mean all my clients.

Of course. Absolutely.

Never again.

Oh, my God.

This is the closet
of your dreams.

Our dreams.

Sure.

Where are my Louboutins,

Louboutins, Louboutins?

Hey. Check this out.

Oh, there's jets, too.

Yeah, it's like a mini-spa.

That'd be so nice after
a long day on our feet.

Yeah. And two sinks,
so plenty of room for brushing.

And spitting.

Jimmy: Hey, you got to see this.

I mean, look at all the nozzles.

Whoa. Yeah.

Is that what I think it is?

Uh, steam?

But, uh, how do you
get it going?

Maybe the water's shut off.

Maybe.

Hey!

Aw. Quit it.

You're very mature.

Very mature.

Aah!

Thanks again.

Nice house, huh?

Yeah.

Maybe someday.

Excuse me, Mr. Salamanca.

Uh, would you give your uncle
some of this?

It's Fizzy K.
He needs to hydrate.

Fizzy K?

It's just a vitamin solution.

It's Very-Berry, his favorite.

Right, Hector?

Thanks.
I'll make sure he drinks it.

Thank you.

Yeah?

Mike, hi.

I'm sorry to bother you.

No, no bother, honey. What's up?

I don't know what your work
schedule is like these days.

I'm still making my own hours.

Well, I just got called in.

Emily's busy, and...

No problem.

Are you sure?

Positive.
I'll be happy to watch her.

What time do you need me there?

How about now?

Now.

On the way.

Oh, thanks, Mike.
You're a lifesaver.

Yeah.

Hey. Hey!

I thought we'd finish fixing
the ladder on the tree house.

Pop-pop!

Hey, kid.

She needs to finish
her homework first.

Don't let her sweet-talk you.

Oh, not a chance of that.

She's gotta learn
her times tables.

She's on the sevens.

Sevens?

There's lasagne in the oven,

and I should be back
before bedtime.

Sounds good.

See you later, sweetie!

Bye, Mom!

Bye.

What do we got?

Sevens are the worst.

Ahh.

I bet you know more
than you think you know.

I do? Mm-hmm.

You remember when we watched
the Super Bowl?

7 times 3?

21.

Alright. 7 times 4?

4 touchdowns equals 28.

Mm-hmm.
Plus another one makes 35.

Go, Eagles! Kick ass!

You don't talk like that.

Who taught you
to talk like that?

You did. Oh.

Come on. 7 times 8.

Uh... that's a lot
of touchdowns.

It's a lot of touchdowns.
It's a big game.

Where we at?

55?

Oh. So you think the kicker
missed the extra point.

Oh, no. It's 56.

7 times 8 is 56.

You got it.

My dad liked the Eagles, right?

Yeah. He sure did.

Was... Was he good at math?

Thank you.

Yeah, he, uh...

Your daddy was a smart kid,
a good student like you.

Did he want to be a policeman
when he was my age?

When he was your age.

You know, I think he went back
and forth between an astronaut,

deep-sea explorer...
like Jacques Cousteau.

Who?

You don't know Jacques Cousteau?

Mnh-mnh.

Well, we'll fix that.

So, instead my dad decided
to be a policeman, like you.

Yeah.

You make sure
those are nice and even.

And he was a really good
policeman, right?

Yes.

And you taught him.

Uh-huh.

But... the bad guys got him?

I told you to make those even.

I am. No, you're not!

You're making a mess!

You either do it right
or you don't do it.

But I want to do it.

You're done. You are done!

Hey.

Where's Kaylee?

She's in her room.
She won't come out.

She didn't eat dinner.

Why? What... What happened?

Mike!

So? Two?

Gonna be a 10 tonight.

10?

Yeah.

Hey! Why you doing that?

Where's the cookie?

I sent it down.

Well, it ain't here.

Yeah, it is. What up?

No stuff. No stuff?

It's there!

No, it ain't!

Quit that, fool!

Who you callin' fool, fool?!

Don't make me come down there.

Ohh! Ohh!

Stop playin'.

Oh, you better come down here.

Shut up! You shut up!

Shut up! You shut up!

Shut up!

Call.

Fairground spot's
doing really good.

Lots of traffic.

Hey.

Shut up while I'm in a hand.

You know what?

$200.

Oh, man.

It's too deep for me.

Oof.

Ugh. Ah, did I get you?

Let me see what you had.

You had a set?

Mm.

You had three 8s on the turn
and you don't raise?

And then you fold at the river?

Too bad.

Ocho loco, this guy, huh?

Ocho loco.

Alright, guys,
give me your cards.

Sorry.

Yeah?

Hold up.

Problem on Fifth Street,

some skells saying
they didn't get their stuff.

It's your crew.

Off you go. Ocho Loco.

Alright.

Yo. Maybe we could shoot
the pipe, like, with a gun.

Hey, we ain't shooting nothin'.

Oh, okay.
Well, we paid for our shit,

so we're getting our shit.

Yeah. Where's our glass?

Uh-uh!

We gonna kick your ass! Uh-uh!

Yo, give me the mic... Mic!

So I can rap about this pipe.

What does that even mean?

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, shit.

- Hey, we're still gettin' our glass, right?
- Yo, Domingo!

Hey.

This your vehicle?

Uh, no, sir.

Wanna come down here?

No problem, Officer.

Whatcha doin' up there?

Uh, just fixin' the drainpipe.

Some kinda block.

Guess you fixed it.

Only Domingo got picked up?

Yeah.

The rest of us bounced,
but he was stuck up there.

Shit. Whole block's crawling.

You got the stuff?

You got it?

Nah.

I-I had to leave it.

They were on my ass.

Ay.

Shit's gone now.

These assholes are gonna turn
the whole place upside down.

How much is in there?

Almost a full load.

Wait. Wait. Where you goin'?

Ahh.

There he is.

Ooh.

No.

No, no, no, no.

Oh!

Look at that.

He's a fool, right?

Oh.

Oh, oh.

Police! Open up!

Got a fortified door.
Need to breach.

Police!

Clear!

Did they get him?

They musta g...

Ignacio Varga...

Suzanne.

Oh! Suzanne.

Suzanne, I think we have
something in common.

Suzanne, I think we have
something in common.

Suzanne, I think we have
something in common.

Bill!

Bill.

What?

Am I on "Candid Camera" again?

No, but, by the way,
you looked great.

We gotta talk Bruno Leder.

Leder? Lost cause.

Ah, beg to differ.
He assaulted a minor.

That oaf? You call him a minor,
I call him a menace.

Hey, my featherweight
was simply defending himself

against your raging bull.

No sale.
Leder's doing the full freight.

Welcome back to the law, McGill.

It's Goodman.
And you'll be back.

Hannah-Banana. Hi.

Hey. What's the word
on moving Tripp to Thursday?

Mm, it works on the calendar.

I just have to check with the other
side. Eh, consider 'em checked.

Veronica.

Hey, you got something for me?

Muchas gracias.
Alright, let's see.

Long sleeves covering the tats.
That's excellent.

And pull your hair back
and lose the hardware.

Her Honor doth protest
a chin pillar.

But it's gonna close up.

Into every life
a little rain must fall.

Meet me outside Courtroom 103
at 2:15.

Mitch, uh, what say you
to moving Tripp to Thursday?

Mm, Thursday works.
Great! Thursday.

What did you do?

I don't know. What did I do?

Suddenly Leder has witnesses?

Oh, what can I say?
People step up.

From the sewer?

Life's rich pageant.
Who are we to judge?

Anyway,
they saw what they saw...

Your beefy, if youthful,
hooligan

cold-cock my small potato.

So, what do you say,
uh, sentence suspended,

6 months probation,
70 hours community service?

Yeah, I guess.

That's the spirit.

So... Uh.

Suzanne, I think we have
something in common.

Suzanne, I think we have
something in common.

Suzanne, I...

Jimmy.

Howard. Hey.

Congratulations.
You're back in the saddle.

Yeah.

So...

Saul Goodman?

Yeah. That's me.

How's business?

It's good. It's very good. You?

Actually, it looks like it's gonna
be one of our best years ever.

I was wondering,

any chance you're available
for lunch sometime?

Lunch. Lunch? Really?

Yeah. Oh, have Julie
call my people.

I'm in the book. See ya, Howard.

Suzanne, I think
we have a few things in common.

Oh, I hope not.

Oh, we do,
to the tune of 16 cases.

So, you're busy. I'm busy.

How 'bout we do
a lightning round?

We'll settle these puppies,
20 minutes.

Don't you already have an
appointment with me on the books?

Yeah. Next Tuesday.

But, you know,
let's get it done right now.

How about we wait
till next Tuesday?

My clients need answers.

Look, hey, you've got
a problem with me?

That's fine.
Don't take it out on my clients.

This isn't about your clients.
This is about your wallet.

Hey,
slow down. You're looking for turnover.

You want to churn through
more clients, make more money.

That's your problem, not mine.

Uh, uh, Suzanne, I'm outraged.

They're sayin'
it's clear out there.

Should I tell the guys
to move out?

Ignacio, it's your call.

Okay.

Hey.

Sit.

Your friend, um...

"Krazy-8"?

Yeah. Domingo.

I known him a long time.

Mm.

How?

My family knows his family.

Mm.

Has he ever been inside before?

No.

You worried about him?

No, man,
he'll keep his mouth shut.

Mm-hmm.

You want me to take care of it?

No.

I got something much better
for him.

Come on.

I need you to call Beau Bindler

and set a meeting
for tomorrow a.m.

so we can prep him
for the deposition.

- Got it.
- And maybe bring bagels.

The guy eats his feelings.

Bagels, check.

See ya. See ya tomorrow.

Alright.

Okay, let's review.

Your sister, Nancy,
attacked your girlfriend,

also named Nancy,
with a curling iron?

I'm gonna need a face-to-face
so I know who I'm representing.

Look, I'm in an elevator.
Now I'm gonna lose you.

Uh, hello? Okay.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

No!

Hey! Hello?!

Ohh.

Hi. This is ADA Ericsen.

We're in the south bank of the
supposedly working elevator...

God damn it!

Please.

Sorry. We're stuck
between floors two and three.

Yeah. How long?

Thanks.

And?

They're sending someone.

It's gonna be a minute.

I can't believe this.

"Ladies and
gentlemen of the jury",

I ask you, what is this trial
really about?

The state may call it vandalism,

but I call my client's brave act
of social justice

'constitutionally protected
free speech.'

Really? That...

I-I got to use my time.

Can you do it silently?

Um, yeah, sure.

"My client is a man
of deep moral fortitude..."

"Moral fortitude,
with a passion for progress."

"Puh, puh." Mm-hmm.

"A solid citizen..."

No. No. No.

"A dedicated citizen with
a voice that needs to ring out!"

Name one.

Hmm? I'm sorry?

One of the cases.

What, one of our cases?

Oh, let me think.
Uh, Veronica Nix.

Motor vehicle theft?

With mitigating circumstances.

Such as?

It was her aunt's minivan.

That's already baked in.

It was parked in the driveway.

The old lady
was berating her, so...

So, what?

So, you know,
good luck finding a jury

that's never been reamed out
by a relative.

One year probation.

Sold.

Just like that? Yep.

What do you say we look at,
uh... Jerome Sheehan?

So, full year supervised
for Drew Kirkman?

How about 18 months?

18 it is.

Next up, we got...
Tanika Berman.

Ah. Um four months jail?

The vampire stunt?
That was negligent arson.

Well, it was more
of a prank gone wrong.

The knife was real.

Yeah, but it was used as a prop.

Was the fire a prop?

The blood was fake.

How is that relevant?

Petty misdemeanor.

Plus fourth-degree felony.

Uh, but ya, uh, drop
the property damage?

Keep the weapons charge.

Uh... 14 months jail.

16.

Mm. 16.

Plus fines TBD.

Plus fines TBD.

Alright.

Oh.

Oh, hey, look at that.

Ugh. Finally.

Mm. 20 minutes.

Pleasure doing business with ya.

Sure.

See you next week
for the last three.

Legal services
for the other half?

So, my brother's little problem?

Eh, his record will be cleaner

than "Doris Day's
Greatest Hits."

Catch ya on the flip-flop.

Mm.

70 hours is a breeze. Trust me.

Think of all the good
that you'll do.

Bruno, good talking to you.

I gotta jump.

Saul Goodman,
speedy justice for you.

Miss Hower.
Hey, have I got good news.

I had to strap on the old armor
and do some jousting, but...

It's, uh, what knights used to
do back in... olden times.

Uh, you know what?
I'll call you back.

Mr. Varga, long time no see.

Get in.

Uh your timing isn't perfect.

Um, I'm a little swamped
right now.

We're just going
for a ride or...

Uh...

Oh.