Better Call Saul (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Off Brand - full transcript

You're good.

See ya, Nacho.

Don Hector.

Hola, Don Hector.

Hey, Nacho.

Have a seat.

How's your dad?

Uh, fine.

- Business good?
- Yeah, I think so.

- Cool.
- All right.

Hey, my father's gonna
bring in his Corolla.



His dogs tore up the back seat.

Like, ate the stuffing.

So, um, one of my guys...

new kid...

got spooked by a cruiser and ran.

Dumped his stash in the gutter...

Let me finish.

You're light.

Like I was saying, the guy's...

Why didn't you make it up on your end?

I did, but I couldn't make it all up.

You got my share, man.

I swear.

All right.



Make it up next week.

Thank you, Nacho.

Don Hector.

Who works for who, huh?

Nacho! No!

No!

Nacho! No!

Oh, come on. Come on.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

No! No, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! No, no!

Nacho, no!

No, please.

No! No!

No!

_

_

_

_

_

Oh.

I want to start by sincerely
thanking you for your patience

through this long and
emotional proceeding.

Jimmy McGill has worked tirelessly

to build a practice
that helps an underserved

and frankly overlooked
segment of our community...

the elderly.

You've heard from many of
Mr. McGill's clients today.

Every one of them came here gladly

in support of their lawyer.

Jimmy McGill reached out
to people who otherwise

may never have seen an
attorney in their entire lives.

He took the time to
make sure they had wills

that accurately reflected their wishes,

for a price they could afford,

because Jimmy McGill cares about people.

He's devoted the past
three years of his life

to his brother's welfare.

Waking at 5:00 in the morning to
buy Charles' favorite newspaper

from the single newsstand
in the city that carries it.

Dropping everything
to care for his brother

through multiple hospitalizations.

Even supporting Charles' career

by hand-making a Mylar-lined suit jacket

to spare his brother discomfort
from exposure to electricity.

And yet, during this time,

Charles McGill's irrational
animus towards his brother...

grew to epic proportions.

So when Jimmy discovered
that Charles had used

his love and his caring against him,

when he discovered he had been betrayed

by his only living blood relative...

Jimmy snapped.

Wouldn't you?

I might.

Chuck?

Jimmy McGill understands
he broke the law

when he forced his way
into his brother's house,

and he is deeply sorry.

He's more than ready to
face the consequences.

However, as to ethical
violation 16-304 (A),

the State Bar's claim of
destruction of evidence...

it categorically did not happen.

Jimmy McGill had no premeditated agenda

when he entered his brother's home.

- He lost his temper...
- Chuck, please!

- ... plain and simple.
- Please let me in!

So now the question you must
ask yourselves is this...

Is the legal profession
better with Jimmy McGill in it?

I believe the answer
is a resounding yes.

- Oh!
- Geez!

Here's to 12 short months.

Also, somebody call the Pope

because according to your summation,

I oughta be a saint.
Me and Mother Teresa.

Right up there with her.

St. Jimmy. Yeah, has a nice ring to it.

Boom.

Ahhh.

So...

have you given any thought

to what you're gonna
do for the next year...

you know, with your clients?

Whoa! Slow down.

That is tomorrow talk, Counselor.

Tonight, I celebrate

with the world's best defense attorney.

Where are your notes? Let's, uh,

spread 'em out and roll around on 'em,

see what happens.

It's a good plan.

Rebecca?

Jimmy.

Well, I'm... Come on in, please.

- Hi. Uh, Kim Wexler.
- Rebecca Bois.

We didn't formally meet earlier.

- Right. It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

Um, I-I was, uh, just at Chuck's,

and he won't answer the door.

I-I was out there knocking
for almost an hour.

That sounds like Chuck.

I'm sure he's fine.
He's just being dramatic.

Oh, well, I think it's a
little bit more than that.

I want you to come with
me to get him to let us in.

Jimmy, he needs our help.

No thanks. I...

I've already kicked my
door in for the year.

You owe it to him.

I don't owe him squat.

Jimmy, you lied to me.

This was never about helping Chuck.

If you feel misled, I apologize,

but I think I was clear.

I told you I had to defend myself

and Chuck would need help afterwards,

which he does.

You got what you wanted.

Now it's time to do what's right.

Yeah...

No.

Jimmy, he's still your brother.

Not anymore, he's not.

Chuck was right about you all along.

He's mentally ill.

What is your excuse?

Enjoy your champagne.

Like the other night during dinner,

Kaylee asked if her
daddy ever used to cook.

And I told her about...

how Matty used to make her
Mickey Mouse pancakes on weekends.

You know, two small pancake
ears attached to a big one?

She didn't remember, but
I think it made her happy.

She even asked for
them the next morning.

Boy, Matty made it look easy.

And keeping the ears
separated is really hard.

Mine looked terrible.

But Kaylee didn't care.

Now she wants "Daddy
pancakes" every weekend.

But...

there are times...

Career day's coming up, and she asked me

if I would go and talk
about her daddy's job.

She wants to know
more about what he did.

And that kind of took my breath away.

Kaylee's teacher thinks
it would be good for her,

maybe make his absence feel...

a little bit more...

normal.

So, do you think you're gonna do it?

I don't know.

- Maybe.
- Good.

That's good work, Stacey.

So, who's next?

Thanks for coming. It means a lot.

Well, honey, if it makes
you feel any better,

I'm all for it.

Enough that you'd come again?

- We'll see.
- Well...

thing is, I sort of
volunteered you for something.

What?

To help with the new playground.

The kids deserve way better
than that, don't you think?

Sure, but why me?

Well, they need someone who
knows how to pour concrete.

And the slide and the swings need
something called footings, I think.

Sweetheart, that's not
really my department.

Sure it is, Pop.

You built a carport
when Matty was a kid.

I did?

Yeah. He told me about
it a bunch of times.

He said that when you
were pricing it out,

you thought that all the people
who gave you quotes were crooks,

so you decided to do it yourself.

And you let Matty write his
initials in the wet cement.

Pop, the way he talked about you,

it was like you... hung the moon.

Sorry. I can get you out of it.

- I just thought it was...
- No, it's fine.

Just tell me when and where.

Come on. Geez.

Thank you.

Chuck?!

Chuck, it's Howard!

I'm not leaving, Chuck!

I don't want to wake up the
neighbors, but I got all night!

Chuck?!

That is a 35-year-old Macallan.

I'm not gonna tell you how much it cost,

but don't worry... it's
coming out of my end.

The opinion came in.

Jimmy was suspended for 12 months.

This is a win, my friend.

I know, it doesn't feel like it.

But hear me out.

Jimmy's not gonna be
a lawyer for one year.

And if he screws up, which
we both know is likely,

his PPD terminates

and that one year may turn into forever.

Chuck, you're at a crossroads.

You can keep looking backwards,

stay focused on your brother,

what he's up to, or you can go forward.

And, Chuck, listen to me...

Jimmy's just not worth it.

Where would we be if...

say, Clarence Darrow had devoted
the best years of his life

to supervising his
ne'er-do-well relatives?

Think of the cases he
wouldn't have taken,

the injustices that would
have gone unanswered.

What a waste.

I say...

put your energy into the future.

Anything else...

is a waste of your time and intellect.

What do you say?

To new beginnings.

To new beginnings.

Mmm.

You okay to drive?

Absolutely.

How are you feeling?

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you, Howard.

Ohh.

Lunch is served.

Swim, honey.

Get it before it's soggy.

Francesca, it's go time!

Where do you wanna start?

With the A's.

Hi. Mrs. Adamson?

It's Francesca at Jimmy McGill's office.

Are you available to talk with Jimmy?

Okay. Great.

Mrs. Adamson.

Hello, dear. Do you have a moment?

I just wanted you to be
the first to know, uh,

that I'll be taking a brief
sabbatical from the law,

just one year.

One quick trip of the
Earth around the Sun,

and I'll be back.

I will.

Next.

Hold for Jimmy.

I did? Aww, that's...
that's... that's an honor.

And how did he pass?

Next!

The details will all be in a
letter you'll receive shortly.

Mostly legal boilerplate.

Now, you give that nephew a hug for me.

Niece!

Next!

Hold for Jimmy.

It's just a technical
thing, really. It's, uh...

It's just a technical,
uh... an agreement.

It's an agreement...

It's an agreement that I came
to with the Bar Association,

and you're gonna get a letter
with all the details, so...

Mr. Levine, can you hear me?!

Hello?! Can you hear me still?!

Okay, just... You stop for...

You stop talking, and then I'll talk.

Okay. Next.

The letter will explain
it, but the... the details

are just boring legalistic mumbo-jumbo.

I don't know where those
sounds are coming from, sir.

You... you'll have to check.

Well, then, stay inside!

Details will be in a letter...

that's right, but
d-don't worry about it.

Next. Next. Next!

Next. Next!

Yes, Mrs. Pressman, I
still have the document.

I'm including the calico.

Now I don't wanna get down into
the weeds on this with you, sir.

It's just my headache, sir. I'm tired.

Listen to you.

Where'd you learn so
much about lawyering?

Yes, just watch your mail for
that letter from my office.

Okay. Bye-bye.

- Next!
- Last one, Mr. Yalowitz.

Last one.

Mr. Yalowitz.

Hey, it's Jimmy McGill.

Listen, for your future lawyering needs,

I am taking a hiatus of one year.

Will you please watch your mail
for a letter from my office?

Yes, Jimmy from TV.

You watch it every day, huh?

Really?

Were you the pilot of the B-29?

32 missions?

Holy...

Well, c-can I just say, sir,
that you are one of the people

who made the greatest
generation so damn great?

I salute you.

A'ight, see you soon.

On TV, right.

Bye.

Francesca, get me KWBV!

Okay.

Get me the manager.

Then get me somebody who
can pull a commercial, stat!

You finish making your calls?

Yeah. That was a ton of fun.

But what gets me is this.

What is it?

It is my KWBV contract.

I almost let one of my ads run today.

You can't do that.

I know, but can you believe this?

I've got nine airings left.

I'm out 4,000 bucks.

I guess...

you have to find a local business

and try to sell 'em your time.

- What else can you do?
- Yeah.

This pile of garbage explicitly states

I'm not allowed to resell.

You're a lawyer. See if
you can find a loophole.

I cannot look at another contract.

I'm up to my eyeballs in Mesa Verde.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

So, what do you want
to do about Francesca?

Do about her? What?

Yeah, how much notice
should we give her?

Two weeks?

Well, we're not doing her any
favors by keeping her in the dark.

She should start looking.

So you want to fire Francesca?

I don't want to, but...

I don't need her for more
than filing and getting coffee,

and I can do that myself.

We just hired her. I like her.

While we're on the subject,

we need to talk about the
overhead on this place.

No, Kim, no!

This office is set up
for two legal practices,

and now there's only one.

I don't need all this space.
I only have one client.

It's a huge client!

I looked into it, and breaking the lease

will cost a hell of a lot
less than 10 months' rent.

No, we didn't go through all this

just to give up everything
after one day of suspension.

One day!

It's not everything.

It's an office.

Four walls and a door.

Why waste money on
something w-we don't need?

As... as far as I'm concerned,

nothing's changed, all right?

I'll hold up my end,
you hold up yours. 50-50.

So you're gonna keep
paying for half a law office

even though you're not practicing law?

- Call it "aspirational thinking."
- Okay.

But how are you gonna pay for it?

The day I don't show up with my half,

that's the day we'll talk
about closing this place.

That's fair, I guess.

You'll see.

Look at the two of you.

I mean, you belong on TV!

You're naturals!

I know.

You're thinking it's
too good to be true.

I mean, "TV's too expensive.

We can't afford that."

Well, I'm telling you, you can.

And here's the beauty part...
for a reasonable price,

we will shoot your commercial,

and then we'll throw in the airtime

for the low, low price of free.

Hey! Gimme Jimmy.

That's right. That's
me! You've seen my ad!

Well, what I did for me, my friends,

I will do that for you.

Look, our all-inclusive
Premium package...

that's gonna be the
best bang for your buck.

We'll shoot nine commercials for $4,900.

Okay? And that includes the nine airings

at 3:20 in the afternoon
on channel KWBV.

That is a prime slot with a viewership

of tens of thousands
of potential customers.

- It does sound like a good deal.
- It does.

It's a lot of money.

Well...

that's... that's
perfectly understandable.

It's a big financial commitment.

Uh, that's why we have our, uh,

"Toe-in-the-Water" package.

That's, uh, one commercial, flat rate,

$849.95.

Beauty part again... free airtime.

And when this thing runs,
you're gonna get calls...

I can promise you that.

We'll think about it.

Excellent.

When, uh, do you think you might decide?

- Maybe next week.
- Yeah.

Wow.

Gee, I'm sorry for any confusion,

but I was talk... I
was talking about, uh...

a much shorter window
for the thinking part.

How short?

We would have you on the
air by 3:20 this afternoon.

Today?

You're gonna shoot a commercial
in the next 2 1/2 hours?

Oh, no. I mean, there's
a whole post process.

I mean, there's editing and
mixing, coloring, layback.

It's a whole megillah.
You don't want to know.

But we would need to be
shooting in the next 15 minutes.

Now, there's "Joseph and the
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."

Why don't they make,
like, a Moses musical?

- They did.
- They did.

Which one was that? It
was "Let My People Go"?

No. Well, yeah, it was kind of...

Everybody get in the car.

Is... is everything okay?

No! I air in 2 hours and 20 minutes,

and I have no client.

That's another 400 bucks down the drain.

How do I find somebody
who needs a commercial

and can afford one?

Maybe...

you could make a commercial?

Have you not been listening?

That's what I've been trying...

Oh. Right.

Let's go! Chop-chop!

All right, uh, plant it right here.

I want you to get
those dishes behind me.

Hi. This is Jimmy McGill
for a limited time... No.

Uh... Jimmy McGill here to talk about

the wonders of broadcast... No.

Jimmy McGill's the name.

- Advertising is...
- Camera ready!

Hi.

I'm Jimmy McGill with
an amazing opportunity

for small-business owners. Shit.

No. I can't do this.

Sure you can.

No!

We... we're totally off-brand here.

I'm Jimmy McGill, a
lawyer you can trust.

I can't suddenly turn into...

Commercial Guy.

Hold on.

Uh, repeat after me...

Uh, "For a limited time, we'll
shoot your commercial today

"and have it on the air tomorrow."

For a limited time, we'll
shoot your commercial today

and have it on air tomorrow.

I thought you were, like, president
of the Drama Club or something?

I'm Treasurer.

You, go!

Say the words.

Uh, uh...

uh, for a limited, uh, time,

o-only you... we could, um...

Cut. Maybe next time.

Woof.

We gonna do this or not?

'Cause either way, I'm
getting my 100 bucks.

Quick... crack on your magic bag.

We'll have to Karloff this thing.

All the same weight?

Within a quarter gram.

Do you have a scale?

Take your pick.

You forgot how to count?

You get five.

Don Hector gets six.

He's expecting six.

And that's what I'm gonna bring.

He's trying to take six.

We only owe him five.

He's pushing it.

Give it to him.

You sure?

Give it to him.

_

Well?

It could work.

Okay, then.

Yes, may I... may I speak
with Dr. Lara Cruz, please?

- Can you hold a moment?
- Yes, I'll hold.

Thank you for your patience.

- Oh, Doc...
- Is it an emergency?

Well, I-I-I need to speak with her.

- Who's calling?
- Yeah, Charles McGill.

I'm a patient... former patient.

I-I-I need to see Dr.
Cruz as soon as possible.

I'll page her. Please hold.

Thank you.

So?

I took the five.

Then one more.

What'd he say?

Did he piss himself?

No, he wasn't there.

It was just his guys.

So what happened?

They called him.

And, uh, while we were
waiting to see what he'd say,

one of the guys put a gun to my head.

They put a gun to your head?

Mm-hmm.

It was no big deal.

Lionel.

Go outside. See what he found out.

Yeah.

So...

your father...

his shop.

W-where does he get his upholstery?

From, uh, the distributor.

And w-where is the distributor?

- Jalisco.
- Jalisco. Ah.

I want...

a new way to get my
stuff over the border.

A legitimate business.

Right. But the chicken man...

Temporary.

I want a new front...

My own.

Don Hector,

my father is a simple man.

He is not in the business.

You will teach him.

- Don Hector, please don't...
- Don'worry!

I'll take good care of
Papi. He'll make money,

a lot more than with his
little sewing machine.

Lionel talked to our guy in Los Lunas.

Looks like Tuco knifed a guy.

But he definitely broke a guard's jaw.

- They got him in solitary.
- What?!

All he had to do was six months!

He'll be in there forever!

Aah!

Ohh.

Boss.

You talk to your father.

I promise,

as soon as you see the first one,

you're gonna want the whole package.

Um, take about an hour.

Um, so, I'll bring the
whole team down there.

We'll be there 12:30 sharp.

I'm gonna turn you into a star.

Absolutely. It will be on
the air by tomorrow afternoon.

I know. It is amazing.

Okay. And, uh, don't wear
stripes, 'cause you'll moiré.

It's a film-making term.

Just... just don't wear stripes.

Okay. See you then.

Wanna beer?

Yes. Thanks.

So, sleeping in your own bed tonight.

Things must be lookin' up.

I needed clean clothes.

What was all that?

Well, I'm unloading that ad time.

But I thought you couldn't sell it.

Well, that's the thing... I'm not.

Uh, they pay me to make a commercial,

I throw in the airtime for free.

- Smart.
- Yeah.

I spent most of the day
going door-to-door, pitching.

No dice. Then it came to me.

I'm selling advertising...
why not advertise?

And it worked.

I mean, TV commercials get calls.

What commercial did you run?

Not... not "Gimme Jimmy"?

No. I-I made a new one.

W-When?

Today.

- Right here.
- S-so you made a commercial...

- for commercials today.
- Yeah.

I'm starting to think
I might break even here.

O-okay. Let's see it.

Eeeesh, I don't know.

It's not my best work.

It's, um, very last-minute.

Well, you're getting
calls. It can't be that bad.

Yeah.

Wha... now you're getting shy?

Come on.

Okay, but keep in mind...

Yeah, it's... yeah,
it's not your best work.

I got it.

What's that I see?

Albuquerque's next TV star?

It's you, small-business owner!

Struggling to make it in
today's fast-paced economy?

Thought television advertising
was too expensive for you?

Well, you better think again!

You can't afford not to be on TV!

Look at you... you're a triple threat!

Great services, great products,
and most of all, that face!

You're a star!

Wrap it all up in your
natural charisma, and bam!

You belong on TV!

Better watch out for
autograph hounds and paparazzi!

And it gets better!

I can have you on the air tomorrow.

You heard me right... tomorrow!

Better get ready to
be famous, Albuquerque!

I can make you a TV star
for a price you can afford!

Call me, Saul Goodman!

The world needs to know
about you and your business!

Call me now!

The guy at the station said

he's never seen so many
star wipes in a row.

It's never been done.

- "Saul Goodman."
- Yeah.

It's like, "S'all good, man."

That guy has a lot of energy.

Yeah.

It's just a name.

Huh.