Better Call Saul (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Bingo - full transcript

The Kettlemans seek Jimmy as their lawyer after turning down an offer from HHM, going as far as attempting to blackmail him.

Once again...

...I do all the talking.

That's the only way this works.

Hand it over.

- Now, before that happens...
- Hand it over.

Hey, I've got it right here. Is this it?

I will take that as a yes.

Very well. Mystery solved.

I could take you into custody right now,
you son of a bitch. Both of you.

Where's this coming from?

You spilled the coffee,
you ambulance-chasing piece of shit.

Can we dial it down?
You know, just a notch?

Look, 45 minutes ago,
I'm sound asleep.

I get a call from Mr. Ehrmantraut,
he's concerned.

He's getting threatening voicemails
from you accusing him of petty theft.

I tell him,
"Hey, we're gonna nip this in the bud.

I don't care what the hell time it is,
we're gonna go talk this thing out.

And walking across the parking lot,
just now, boom, there's a notepad...

...plain as day, lying on the asphalt
where, I can only surmise... accidentally dropped it, detective.

Now, guys, that's all we know.

Let me tell you something, slick.
Wait till I get you back to Philadelphia.

I'm confused.

The state of Pennsylvania can extradite
people for returning lost property?

That is one bold legislature.

Anything you wanna say to me
about what you found in here?

Now that it's all out in the open?

Maybe your daughter-in-law.
Maybe she's got something to tell me.


- Maybe not.
- Yeah, we'll see.

First thing tomorrow.

You gotta figure she wouldn't reach out
to us if she had nothing to say.

Hopefully whatever you are
didn't rub off on the rest of your family.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

- Let's get the hell out of here.
- No.

I mean thanks as in "three's a crowd."

You can go now.

You're not talking to my client
without me.

Yeah, he is.

Please leave now.

Oh, man.

You ever have jet lag?

I guess that's what this is.

Maybe it's the altitude, man.

Could be the altitude.

We're a mile up, right?

Sorry about the kid.

He's young, looking to make his mark.

I like him.

Your daughter-in-law, what...?

What's she gonna tell us?

I don't honestly know.

Well, Mike, if she's got nothing to say,
this pretty well ends it here.

So maybe you should talk to her
before we do.

I talked.

If I were to guess,
I'd say she wouldn't tell you much.

Either way, that's up to her.

That's the least I owe her.

There's a lot of people we both know...

...that think Fensky
got what was coming to him.

Hoffman too.

That whole precinct was a sewer.

Wouldn't be surprised
if there's a few more early retirements.

Might be a good thing. New blood.

Like the kid.


He's all right.

He's just gotta learn, that's all.

Some rocks you don't turn over.

What'd you say to him? Let's go.

Word for word, verbatim,
while it's still fresh.

What I said is none of your concern.

I was speaking to a friend.

You were speaking to a homicide
detective who flew 2000 miles... investigate a double murder for
which you are clearly the prime suspect.

How could you not recognise
the mind games, the scams...

...the con jobs these people play?

You used to be one of them.
So, what got said?

- Right now. Come on. I'm serious.
- I know you're trying to help, but...

Look, no, I'm trying to help me.
Those two Philly cheese steaks...

...they wanna lock me up
right alongside you.

So work with me here,
for the both of us.

You're safe, counsellor.

And I no longer require your services.

You're kidding, right?

What, you think you're gonna
defend yourself?

It's in someone else's hands.

- What, like God?
- No.

Please don't say
Hamlin Hamlin & McGill.

I appreciate your help.
Go home, go to bed, send me your bill.

Oh, I'm sending you my bill.

I'm sending you...

You better believe it.

It's me, your friendly
neighbourhood ice man.

There was a run on bacon.

I'll get you next time.

Chuck, you there?



Chuck, you up there?


I'm out here.


- One-twelve, 113, 114...
- Holy shit, what are you doing?

...115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120.

Go, go. Inside.

What the hell was that?

- What the hell was that?
- Just give me a second.


Yeah, okay.

It's an experiment, really.

I've been attempting to build up
a tolerance for electromagnetic fields.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's like...

You know, like taking small doses
of poison to build up an immunity.

Is that a real thing? Because that
does not sound like a real thing.

It's a real thing.

Anyway, as you well know,
there is a 60 kilovolt transformer...

...200 metres south-southwest
of my front yard.

I've been trying to get acclimated to it.

I got up to two minutes today.

- Jesus, Chuck.
- Yeah.

Two days ago,
I could barely stand 30 seconds.

I'm trying to get up to five minutes
by next week.

That is just...

- But why now?
- Well...

After what happened with the police
and the hospital...

...I almost lost everything, Jimmy.

I can't go on like this.

I have to find a way to get better.
I've got to.

I have to get back to work.

Sitting here rotting away...

This is no kind of life for me.
For anyone.

I need to be useful again.

Chuck, I am so proud of you.

It'll be a long process.

But one to which
I'm very much committed.

I have to be.

I... I'll be right back. I gotta get
a few more things out of the car.

All right.

- What's all this?
- It's just some case files.

I'm out of room at the office.
I don't wanna leave them in the car.

There's a lot of sensitive information.

You're not planning
to leave them here?

- Yeah, I don't know, Jimmy.
- It'll just be for a little while.

I'm practically sleeping on these things
back at my place.

- Business is that good?
- It's booming.

Streets of gold. Yeah.

I'll get these out of here
as quick as I can.

I just need to file the 413s
on some of these wills...

...and I'll be out of your hair.

- Four-thirteens?
- Personal property statements.

You mean 513s.

Yeah, sorry. I was
just working with these seniors.

Maybe the dementia's
contagious, huh?

So we good here?

See you tomorrow, same time.

James McGill.

Scott said he'd leave the keys to 801,
the suite that's for lease.

Here you go.
Bring them back when you're done.

Got it.

Wow, this is, like, really nice.

- Why do you sound surprised?
- Not surprised, no. Just...

You know, could you afford this?

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding?
The seniors have been very good to me.

I've been meaning to expand, you know?
It's time to invest in myself.

I figure this may be just the place.

Well, won't you miss the nail salon?

Oh, I could always visit, you know,
get some French tips.

It's a clean slate.

Put the reception desk right here.

Get some comfortable seating
for the clients.

It's big. A lot of offices.

Yeah, I like the openness.

I feel like I can breathe in here,
you know?

It's not some claustrophobic little closet
that smells like acetone.

Room to grow.

Dream big, I say.

Got a decent-size conference room.
Not as big as Hamlin's...

...but, you know, it's cosy.

Our elderly brethren prefer that, I find.

Yeah. Could be cosier though.

Maybe you could embroider
some little cushions.

- Crochet a runner for the table.
- Rocking chairs all around?

Yes. Make it look like the front
of a Cracker Barrel.

Now you're talking.

This is me.

I love it.

Gotta look successful
to be successful, am I right?

Well, this definitely looks like success.

Great view.
Get you a big fancy desk in here.

- Cocobolo desk.
- A what?

I don't know what it means...

...but I just like saying the word.

Okay, well, whatever it is,
you deserve it.

And I want you to see this one.

Here we are.

This is way better than the other one.

- You think?
- Yeah.

Who goes in here?

Because I'd be all up in here
if I were you.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, you're right.

- It is real nice.
- It's a corner office.

- You gotta go with the corner office.
- Saving it for someone.

- Who?
- Well, my partner.

Your partner? Who's...?

Who would that be?

Well, you said you were interested
in elder law.

That's... That is so...

Thank you. Really.

But you know I've got a lot invested
at HHM.

With what's going on now,
I'm closer than ever to partner.

Like maybe two years, and I'm in.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's...

It's just a thought.

Plus, you know, they put me through
law school. I feel like I owe them.

Actually, I do owe them,
literally, you know?

But it's a nice thought, Jimmy.

Just, you know, playing with ideas.

- I had the extra office and everything.
- Yeah, no, I get it.

I want to see the kitchen.

They have stainless in here.

I don't even have stainless at home.

I know this is the last thing
you wanna hear.

I think your chances...

...of getting a favourable ruling
from a jury are very slim.

What does that mean?

We're not in a great position
to win at trial.

But we came to you people
because we were told you win cases.

Winning doesn't always mean
getting a favourable verdict.

We try to achieve the best outcome
for our clients...

...given each individual case.

Frankly, we've worked very hard
to stave off an arrest...

...after the misunderstanding
about your camping trip.

The DA was concerned
you might be a flight risk.

Flight risk? We were practically
in our own backyard.

That's exactly what we told the DA.

We've managed
to come up with a deal...

...that is favourable
under the circumstances.

Deal. I hate that terminology.
A deal is what they got O.J.

- Maybe we should hear it.
- It's a terrible term.

What kind of deal?

If the prosecution decides to file...

...which is the direction
this seems to be headed...

...and if they choose
to stack charges, Craig...'re looking at 30 years in prison.

- Thirty years?
- That's the maximum.

Given the nature of the charge
and political environment...

...I'd say we should expect it.

The public outcry in cases like these
is a big factor.

However, after much discussion
with the DA...

...who is also invested in keeping
the press to a minimum...

...we have arrived at an arrangement
which would include 16 months...

- a county facility.
- Sixteen months?

Down from 30 years. And you most likely
wouldn't serve all of it.

But he would have to say he was guilty.

Admitting wrongdoing
and making the county whole again...

...goes a long way,
hence the minimal sentence.

Making the county whole again?

It includes the stipulation...

...that you return $1.6 million
in misappropriated funds.

- Give back the money?
- There is no money.

We told you Craig is innocent.

I understand.
However, I'd like to emphasise again...

...that this deal is Craig's best chance
of minimising jail time.

You're telling us there are drug dealers
and murderers walking the streets...

...but instead of them,
they wanna put an innocent man in jail?

There's no other way?

I'm sorry. I think under the
circumstances, this is your best option.

Murderers and rapists,
and this is how they...?

Okay. There is no money.
There never was.

- You have to take this to trial.
- Look... have a difficult, but nevertheless
straightforward choice to make here.

- On one hand, you give up the money...
- I just told you, there is no money.

Plead guilty. It's painful, I know.

And go to jail for a year and a half.
But your other choice...

...that is no choice at all.

If you go to trial, you'll most likely lose,
and Craig goes to prison for decades.

Your children will grow up seeing
their dad through bars on visiting day.

I know what I'd do.

I'd take the deal.

Two years from now, you can be
starting over. It's tough, I know.

But you're tough people.

And your family is worth it.

Why don't I give you a few moments
to discuss this?

I know it's a big decision.

We don't need to discuss it.

You're fired.

How about we go to my office
and discuss this?

- There's a solution.
- That won't be necessary.

We will no longer be requiring
your services.

- It's not personal.
- If you're unhappy...

...there may be other directions.

We are done. Please stop following us.

Don't look back, honey.

Only look forward.
Always in life, look forward.

O-70. O-70.

Oh, yeah. Seventy's a good age.

All right, duck your heads,
because here comes another number.


And the action never stops.
I hope you all took your heart pills...

...because it's almost
too much excitement, right?

Which one will it be?

Say your prayers, here it comes.

All right. We've got G-48.

G, as in Guy Lombardo. G-48.

Keep your elbows to yourselves, okay?
No bodychecking.

All right, what do we have here?
Wait for it.


Lucky B-6. Just like the vitamin.
All right?

Which you should be taking.
Keep things moving in the old GI tract.


Oh, we have a winner.

Lady Luck has struck again.

Let's see a hand,
so we know who's won.

It's the lovely young lady in the back.

Congratulations, miss, you've won a...

- What do we have for the lovely lady?
- A notebook.

Yeah, it's an adorable notebook.

Do you like cats, Miss...?

Irene. I love kitties.

I have two Siamese cats,
Oscar and Felix.

Felix can wash himself. Oscar won't.

He... He just won't.

What a lovely story. Thank you.

Can you take that to Irene,
and when you come back, cover...?

I'm gonna take a short break,
because somebody needs legal help.

Offices of James McGill, Esquire.
How may I direct your call?

Yes, yes, of course.
One moment, please.

- Déjà vu, hello again. Good to see you.
- Nice to see you.

So how may I be of service?

We would like to hire you
as our attorney, Mr. McGill.

- Really?
- However, we have certain conditions.

And these are not up for debate.

We want no jail time. Zero.

Craig is innocent
and we expect you to prove that.

We won't see his name smeared
like this any longer.

Can we back up just a scootch?

Because last time we spoke,
you were very enthusiastic...

You were positively insistent.

About being represented by HHM.

- Well...
- That's all right.

We've parted ways.

May I ask why?

We disagreed
with their defence strategy.


They treated us like we were guilty.

So your previous objections
to my representing you are now...?

Oh, I'm sorry about my bluntness
at our last encounter.


Yeah, we really...
We're very sorry about that.

We thought long and hard
about it, and we...

You know, given your passion
and your can-do attitude, we really...

We just believe you're the lawyer for us.

For us, yes.

Well, as flattered as I am by this,
since we last spoke...

...I've changed
my area of specialization.

So I concentrate on elder law now.

But, I mean,
you said that you would fight for us.

- Yeah, you...
- You were adamant.

You promised to get us
a not-guilty verdict.

I don't think I exactly promised that.

You said we would be Client Number 1,
morning, noon or night.

Yes, and I meant what I said.
At the time.

But times change.

But we've already paid you a retainer.


A retainer.

That is what you called it.
That was your specific terminology.

Could you excuse me for a moment?

I had a Big Gulp on the way over.

- Hey.
- Hey there.

Funny story. I found something
that belongs to you. Again.

- Yeah? What?
- Who?

Picture The 25th Hour
starring Ned and Maude Flanders.

Oh, Christ, the Kettlemans?

You lose any other clients today?

Mr. and Mrs. Cuckoo-Bananas
just offered me...

...the plum job of defending them.

- They came to you?
- Yeah, I know.

I don't know what you did
to piss them off...

...but it must have been good.

- What did they tell you?
- Not much.

Just that you treated them
like they were guilty.


Look, Jimmy...

...I know...

I know this is a lot to ask...

...but you have to convince them
to come back to HHM.

- I do, huh?
- Yes.

Please. It's important.

- What's it worth to you?
- Jimmy, I'm serious.

They left because they think
they can win this case, but they can't.

I managed to scrape together,
from practically nothing, I might add...

...a deal they should feel lucky to have.

This is their absolute best bet.


Make them understand
it's better for them if they come back.

Tell me about this deal.

Elder law?

- I don't know what that is.
- Yeah. Me neither.


- Do you think...
- Maybe if we were old...


- The mysteries of the bladder.
- Right?

So how do we get started?
Do you need us to sign that little paper?

I am... I am very sorry,
but I'm afraid I can't take your case.

My schedule is just...
It's just chock-full right now.

I highly encourage you
to go back to HHM.

I'm certain they would welcome you
with open arms.

No, we're not going back there.
They were...


I understand. They asked you
to face some harsh realities.

And I get it. No one likes that.

But bottom line here,
Kim Wexler is a fine attorney.

She has a great relationship
with the DA.

Much as I'd love
to sing my own praises...

...I doubt I could get you a deal
as good as the one she already has.

Okay. We don't want a deal.

We want you, our lawyer,
to exonerate Craig.

Exonerate? That is a big word,
particularly in your case.

But there will be no deal.

There is no money
with which to make a deal.

Can we all three just parachute down
from Cloud Cuckooland?

Because we know without question
there is money.

I distinctly remember a spirited game
of tug-of-war over this money... which we then discussed
at length.

You made many excuses...

...justifying your possession
of said money.

- It's there. It exists...
- But that...

Just, please, for my own sanity...

You can't hide
a big bag of cash forever...

...and you certainly will never be able
to spend any of it.

So go back to HHM,
apologise to Ms. Wexler...

...and for chrissakes, take the deal.

- If there were any money...
- Lady, enough.

If there were any money...

...there would have to be
a full accounting of it.

Every penny would have to be present.

Every single penny.

You understand?

All of it.

- That includes the 30,000...
- Craig, yes, he gets it.

Yeah, he gets it.

We are in this together, Mr. McGill,
come what may.

Now, where do we begin?

- There you go. Kettleman. That's all of it.
- Where's Kim?

Oh, we moved her over
to the east wing.

The east wing? That's the cornfield.

Why are you sending her
to the cornfield, Howard?

- Never heard it called that before.
- Well, that's what you call it.

You're gonna punish her because
you lost those batshit Kettlemans?

You notice I'm not exactly crowing
over how I snaked them away from you.

Here are your files.

I'm not gonna discuss
my employee policies with you.

I'm gonna need some help here.

Yeah. You sure are.

That prick firing you?

Best-case scenario is my two-year plan
just became a ten-year plan.

That schmuck.
You didn't do anything wrong.

- I lost the client.
- Not your fault.

They're not really playing
with a full deck, those Kettlemans.

- You had to take their case?
- I'm sorry, okay? I tried.

I really did.

I'm not being fair. Of course you tried.

They'll do what they wanna do.

Hope you didn't promise them
too much.

I doubt you'll be able to do
more for them...

...than we were offering.

You think very highly of my skills,

It's not that, Jimmy. It's a loser case.

That deal was their best chance.

After I worked my ass off
finagling with the DA, it's just, like...

- Whatever.
- There's gotta be a way, you know?

- I take it to court...
- You'll lose.

Kettleman did a terrible job
covering his tracks.

For starters...

...they've got reams of cheques
he wrote for false expenses.

I can't even challenge
their admission into evidence...

...because he wrote them to himself.

We're never supposed to say
our clients are guilty...

...but hey,
not my client anymore.

He's guilty as sin.

Yeah, but there has to be something.
Some loophole or...

None that I could find.

- There has to be a way.
- Not without the money.

It's the only chip those Kettlemans have.
They refuse to play it.

In the top of the second inning.
First pitch...

...curveball for a strike.
The count is 0-and-1.

Is made. Rennings throws...

...and it is a liner toward the gap
in right-centre field.


Gets bigger every time I look at it.

Thanks for not heading
to the Bahamas with this.

What are you doing?

"The right thing."

You know where you're going?


Am I correct in assuming
we're now square?


- Good morning.
- Who is it, Craig?

Oh, it's Mr. McGill.
Good morning. Come on in.

Oh, I love what you've done
with the place.

Last time I was here, it was...

...well, not a contender for the cover
of Good Housekeeping, that's for sure.

- Do you have news about our case?
- I do, in fact.

But before we get to the nitty-gritty,
I think we should chat about your deal.

We told you, there will be no deal.

You did, didn't you?

circumstances have changed.

What circumstances?

To answer that, might I suggest...

...that you go check on that money
you insist you didn't take?

In the upstairs bathroom,
under the sink?

Wait. How could you...?


- No, no, no.
- It's okay. It's okay, Betsy.

It's gotta be...
It's gotta be in there somewhere.

What did you do with it?

By "it," you mean...?

Where is it?

You mean the money.

Let me see.

It's on its way to the DA's desk
right about now.

What? You...?

- You thief.
- Takes one to know one, doesn't it?

You took it? How did you take it?

A good magician
never reveals his secrets.

Now, here's what we're gonna do.

Oh, you don't tell us what to do.
You stole from us. We...

We will have you arrested.

I can see how upset you are...

...and even on a good day,
you and logic are:

But think about what you just said.

Criminals have no recourse,
and you two?

- You're criminals. Big time.
- How dare you?

Luckily, you have a very talented lawyer
who has found a way... minimise the damage
you've brought upon yourselves.

- Oh, you're fired.
- Oh, I quit already.

No, I'm talking about Kim Wexler.

Now, you're gonna go back to her...

...apologise for your hasty decision
to terminate her services...

...and you're gonna fall on her mercy
and take that deal.

- We'll tell about the bribe you took.
- You could do that.

You absolutely could,
and I'd be in a mess of trouble...

...a real pickle.

But so would you, Mrs. Kettleman.

Because right now only Mr. Kettleman
is on the hook...

...for the whole embezzlement kerfuffle.

But the bribe...
We're back to calling it a bribe?

Yeah, that implicates you as well.

It does not. It was all me.

No, it wasn't.
I'll make sure everyone knows that.

Look on the bright side, you know?

They could work out some kind
of inter-prison visitation programme.

The occasional conjugal.
Maybe it won't be all bad.

You, you'll probably wind up
running your own gang.

Thing you folks need to know
about me?

I got nothing to lose.

Christ, you should see my office.

No, it's not over.

Let's find another lawyer.

- Oh, Betsy.
- No, no. No.

We don't have to put up with this.

- I will not be treated this way.
- Betsy.

The kids.

We have to do this for the kids.

They can't lose us both.

- We have to.
- No.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Thank you.

Law offices of James M. McGill.
How may I direct your call?