Betas (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 10 - Blinded by the Light - full transcript
Having turned his back on the Murch, Trey arrives in L.A. to run the Silicon Beach investor circuit with Victoria. Back in San Francisco, Mitchell accompanies Nash to Michael Lau's birthday bash, and Hobbes gets closer with Trevor's mom, Joanne.
[* Deer Tick: "The Bump"]
* I've got a lust for life
* And a dangerous mind
* In my trail of dust
* Who knows what you'll find
* I can take a tree
* And tear it from its roots
* If you see me
* I suggest you move
* We're full-grown men...
Nash-tag!
How you livin', buddy?
- How's Los Angeles?
- Uh, sunny. Hold on.
- * We'll face the music...
- [shutter snaps]
You won't believe where
Victoria put me up.
This place makes our dorm room
look like a third world country.
You really need to visit
a third world country.
You know what I mean.
Check out Insta, I'll post pics.
I hope you find time
to take a few meetings
in-between photo brags.
Hey, quit worrying. OK?
I can hear you
stress-walking from here.
Me and Victoria? We got this.
I'll check in later.
* We'll face the music
* Next time we roll in *
[* Telekinesis: "Power Lines"]
* I'm a broken man
I'm damaged goods *
* Lock me in the basement
with furnace soot *
[sighs] I can't bring Michael
an old album for his birthday.
- It's tacky.
- You're right, gay dudes
hate vintage kitsch.
You're being facetious,
aren't you?
Yeah. Pretty much always.
Maybe I'll just
get him a gift card.
[laughs] Yeah.
Nothing says "thoughtful"
like 20 bucks worth
of frappuccinos.
- Come on, man.
- You know, I probably shouldn't
even be going in
the first place.
No. Look, OK,
Lau wouldn't have
invited you
- if he didn't want
you there.
- Yeah.
- Now let's pick something.
- OK...
- Move over.
- [grunts]
So, you're taking
Mitch, huh?
Mm-hmm.
I bet he's pretty jazzed
to be your plus one.
Mitchell is jazzed to
put socks on in the morning.
[laughs] Yeah.
Has he said anything to you?
If you want to know how
he's doing, just ask him.
Uh, Michael had a
t-shirt of this band.
Hey. Yo La Tengo.
It's like Al Green for hipsters.
Is that good?
- It's fucking perfect.
- [laughs]
Antwonne has filed an
official complaint,
which has made things
very awkward for us here
at ValleySmash.
- That's funny.
I don't feel awkward.
- You should.
Sexual harassment
is not something we
just sweep under the rug.
Does this mean you
won't suck my dick?
It means that you're going
on a leave of absence
to attend a sensitivity
training seminar.
- Which you clearly need.
- Huh.
And I don't
suppose that Antwonne
will suddenly get bumped up
to editor in my absence.
It's a slap on the wrist,
Jordan. Be grateful for that.
You spineless twat.
There's no need
for theatrics.
Oh, really? 'Cause
you've been getting fat
off of my "theatrics"
for years, Lambert.
I'm the only one driving
the eyeballs to your shitty
little blog to begin with!
OK, why don't we revisit this
at a time you're not...
Revisit this. I fucking quit!
[sighs, laughs]
[up-tempo music playing]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Oh. [laughs]
To "enabling serendipity."
[laughs] All right.
Uh, now I put together a
list of potential investors
on the flight down. I thought
maybe we should compare notes...
OK, all right.
Slow your roll there, cowboy.
[laughs] You're here because
you trust me, remember?
I've made inquiries,
and there's a lot of people
that are excited about you,
including Jayson Prust.
The founder of Zip Text?
I can't believe
we're on his radar.
I'm sure it doesn't hurt that
I made him a millionaire before
his 23rd birthday.
Well, then we've got
some catching up to do.
I'm 24 and nearly broke.
- That's because
you just met me.
- [laughs]
Trevor's dad, our physical
connection just dissolved.
It was as if our souls
became estranged.
And don't get me started
on his browsing history.
[whispers] He was into
some very weird stuff.
Would you stop it?
I almost cut your ear.
I wish you would. It would
beat hearing about you and
Dad's sex life.
Total opposite with
Brenda and me.
By the time we got divorced,
sex was all we had.
It was the only way we could be
in the same room without trying
to choke each other.
Although there was
some choking involved.
It was just such a
cliche, you know?
He just wanted someone younger.
Prettier. Asian-er.
- [snorts] Sounds
like an asshole.
- At least he's not homeless.
You know,
it's the same in tech.
Everyone's so obsessed
with the new.
You know, hey, maybe the
latest is not the greatest.
Yeah. Doesn't experience
count for anything? Wisdom?
- A lot of bitching?
- [laughs] To experience.
[bottles clink]
Hey, could you maybe
wait to get shitfaced
until after we're done?
Watch your mouth,
young man.
- Screw Kansas, right?
- [laughs] Yeah.
I thought we were
taking a lunch meeting.
Yeah. We are. The Zip
crew is hosting a
barbecue for TechWeek.
There he is.
- How ya livin', Vicky Smalls?
- Hey.
- She hates it when
I call her that.
- [laughs]
Jayson, this is Trey Barrett.
Founder of BRB.
Dude, total pleasure.
Your app is so sick.
- Thanks, man.
It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- No. Bring it in.
That's how we do.
- [laughs]
Medium rare all right for you?
- Only way to fly.
- Yeah, bloody for me.
- Full paleo?
Keep it tight, girl.
- Yeah.
I like it. I get these
steaks from a lesbian
butcher in WeHo.
Dry-aged six weeks.
They are literally
off the hook.
[laughs]
This place is incredible.
It's not a dirty alley
in SOMA, or anything,
but we manage somehow.
Hey, don't sell Velocity short.
We just got a cereal buffet.
Lemme guess. You...
You just had your demo day.
Did the whole dog and pony
for a bunch of lanyard-hangers
who said shit like, "Oh, you
know, we think this is brilliant
but, uh, why don't you get
back to us in six months?"
[laughs] Yeah, there was...
...there was definitely
talk of circling back.
That's why I had to pull
the ripcord and set up shop
down here, you know.
Let the quants quibble
over spreadsheets
while I actually
build something for users
without all the bullshit.
- Does that look done to you?
- Looks great.
- This is a nice house.
- Pretty.
Avinash! I'm so
glad you could make it.
Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah.
Thank you for inviting me. Um...
Of course.
So this is, um,
uh, Mitchell.
- Hey.
- Mitchell, pleasure.
[laughs]
Are you guys together?
- No. We're not.
- Yep.
We... we work together.
At BRB.
No, yeah. Oh, no.
Total mistake.
We're not together. We rode
over here together but, uh,
Nash asked me to be his plus
one 'cause he didn't wanna...
- He was afraid to come alone.
- No, I wasn't.
No, I mean, uh, Nash
doesn't like to drive
and so he asked me to
so that he wouldn't get
sweaty biking over here.
This is where the magic
happens. 'Sup, Shawnda?
Wow. Uh, seems
pretty laid back.
Yeah, we play hard but, uh,
I don't know, work gets done.
We actually just pushed
an epic update,
added some sick new
filters to Zip Video.
Great. Teenagers can send
their dick pics in sepia tone.
Bong, bong, bong!
This guy gets it.
Um, is this your team?
[laughs] These guys?
Oh. God, no.
No. That's Juicebox back there.
We went to high school together.
Dude was all-state lacrosse.
So where... where
are your engineers?
Well, I used to have this CTO...
some fucking Chinese guy.
But he started getting grabby
when we were blowing up.
He was trying
to block my shine.
Now I basically just outsource
to India and Brazil.
I'll tell you what "CTO" really
stands for. "Can't take over."
Actually, my CTO
is my best friend.
[sighs] All I'm sayin'
is watch your back.
Anyway, how much you
guys lookin' to raise?
I, uh, we're
still discussing that.
All right. Well, whenever you're
ready let's chop it up.
I already got some ideas
on how to improve the app.
Uh, like the "hidden profiles"
thing? Gots to go.
[forced chuckle] Totally.
Uh, would you excuse me?
I think I left my
shades downstairs, bro.
Oh. Yeah.
Protect those corneas, bud.
Where's Trey? I was hoping
to continue mending
our broken fence.
Oh. He's in LA,
meeting with investors.
- Without you?
- I didn't want
to miss your party.
- Uh, this is for you.
- Oh.
Avinash. You shouldn't have.
But, seeing that you did, may I?
- Please.
- Yeah?
Wow...
this takes me back.
Seventh grade high
school in Australia.
[laughs] My first concert.
- Oh, and my first kiss.
- Oh...
So thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
Hey, let me introduce
you to my mates.
Everyone, this is
my mate, Avinash,
and Mitchell,
a new one.
Let's show them a
good time, yeah?
- Ted, you're on cocktail duty.
- You got it.
Sweet, uh, could I please
get a Vodka-Red Bull?
Oh, you poor child.
Come with me.
- I'll show you.
- Oh. OK.
Show you the ways.
[laughs]
Let me guess, Jay went
douche-point-oh on you?
Yeah.
Not my favorite person.
Well, listen, we don't have
to bite until it feels good.
This is about making
an opportunity for you,
not Zip Text.
[sighs]
- All right.
- Come on. Party's heating up.
Plenty more douchebags
for you to meet.
[laughs] Great.
It just all came out
of nowhere, you know?
I like opened the door.
I was like, "What do you want?"
And it was like, boom!
Kiss, hands, zip!
And I was like, "Whoa, whoa,
whoa, pump the brakes
there, baby girl."
And, you know, looking
back I guess that was
kind of a puss move,
but it was just...
it was just a lot to process,
in like a little bit of time.
So...
And that's when
she started crying?
Yeah, man, it got
real, like real fast.
'Cause I was like, "Oh, my God.
This is amazing. Like finally."
And she was just
like, "My mom sucks."
And I kinda just like
held her in my arms
until she fell asleep.
And it was awesome, but it
sucked at the same time. [sighs]
Have you talked
to her since then?
Yeah, but she was
like uber casual
in the morning,
you know.
Like we shared a toaster
strudel and I just felt
like I was just back in
the friend zone. Like that.
- I don't know what to do
- Well, here's the thing, Mitch.
To her, you're this
like sweet, cute guy
who's gonna be there
for her through all
of her ups and downs.
You're her rock.
Which is...
Which is really cool,
if you can roll like that.
But I've known you
for about 20 minutes
and I'm pretty sure you
can't, so... [laughs]
unless you're cool with just
waiting in the wings forever,
then you need to tell
her what you want.
Even if that means
letting her go.
Damn, Ted.
That was some real talk.
You're right, man.
I gotta [inhales]...
I gotta sack up.
I gotta be a man.
[laughs] You are a man.
So, Trey's in LA, huh?
Don't you think you should
be with your CEO?
Meeting people, making decisions
about BRB's future?
I mean I understand
that you're friends,
but business is business.
Uh, it was a
joint decision.
Besides, um, he's better at
that stuff than me. [laughs]
You have no idea how
valuable you are, Avinash.
You know, uh, my
development team
can hardly keep up with our
company's growth, you know.
An engineer like you,
with your vision,
your talent, could turn
it around in a month.
I wish you could see that.
There's my birthday boy!
Oh, you cannot
be serious about that.
I'm very serious.
Come on.
I refuse to let this be
another one of your boring
wine and chitchat evenings.
It's a fucking fiesta.
Raffi, this is Avinash.
Avinash, this is my aggressively
Hispanic boyfriend, Rafael.
Uh, it's... it's very
nice to meet you.
I can't tell you how sick
I am of hearing your name.
Oh. Thank you.
Hey. You're embarrassing us.
Oh. Ben and Avery, they just
brought their new puppy.
It's a little mastiff named
Maximus and it's adorable.
Come on.
Let's go meet him
before he shits all over
your bamboo floors.
- [laughs] Will you excuse us?
- Of course.
All right. Let's do this.
[Dashawn] No contest, dude.
Present-day Metallica
blows chunks compared
to Dethklok.
Dude, even present-day Metallica
hates present-day Metallica.
I'm talking about "Ride The
Lightning," "Master of Puppets,"
the real deal Denmark shit.
Plus Dethklok are like,
cartoons.
Seriously? They toured
last year, you idiot.
We went and saw them.
- Oh, yeah.
- Has he ever gotten an MRI?
I feel like brain damage is
a real possibility for him.
He huffed a lot of paint
back in the day.
Got any dirties?
I'm doing a load.
Yeah, but, uh, you know,
I don't wanna put you out.
Don't be silly.
It's no trouble.
All right.
God, I feel like I should
take you out to
dinner or something.
Well, I might just
take you up on that.
OK.
Besides, dude, Kirk Hammett
is from San Francisco.
- Where's your pride?
- Where's yours?
You just offered up your
skid-marked skivvies
to Trev's mom to wash.
As far as Hammett's concerned,
the guy owns a horse ranch.
- Case closed.
- I don't know what that means.
[Joanne] Hobbes, can you come
down here for a minute?
I... I think the
machine's leaking!
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Make yourself
useful, King Nothing. [laughs]
[laughs]
- You like that?
- [grunts]
- We gotta get him outta here.
- Yeah.
[strumming quiet rhythm]
Jordan?
Wow, of all the bonfires,
on all the beaches
in all the world,
she walks into mine.
- [laughs] That's
a shitty Bogey.
- I know.
I'm just surprised you
know the reference.
[grunts] Just 'cause I
used to work for a gossip rag
doesn't mean I'm
completely uncultured.
- Used to?
- I guess you don't
read the trades
- unless they're about you, huh?
- No, it's been a busy day.
Yeah. It's a long story,
but ValleySmash and
I have parted ways.
- They fired you?
- Fired. Quit. Lost my shit.
- Semantics.
- [laughs]
Yeah, I... I came down
here for TechWeek,
trying to find some
greener pastures.
The Murch shot at me
with a paintball gun
- and told me to go fuck myself.
- Huh.
So, I guess we're
in the same boat.
Well, it might be
a long journey.
We better get some sustenance.
Ah, allow me.
Hey, uh, do you mind?
Oh, sorry.
Is that Zack Casper?
[chuckles]
Oh, yeah.
I thought I recognized that
slouch from the cover of Forbes.
Well, I have to
go talk to him.
I mean, I'd be stupid
not to, right?
I never thought
of you as stupid.
What's the problem?
Oh, I... I realized I don't
have all your dirty clothes.
[laughs] Oh, whoa, whoa.
OK. [moans, sighs]
It's so nice to have a
man around the house.
And for the record, I still
wanna go out to dinner.
[moans, sighs]
I got a Groupon
for Destino.
[sighs]
[gasps]
Hi.
Uh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I just...
You've been a huge
inspiration for me
and I knew if I didn't say
something, I'd regret it.
- What's your name?
- Trey Barrett.
The "face to face" app, right?
From Murchison's accelerator.
BRB. Yeah, I... I can't
believe you've heard of it.
I keep my ear to the ground.
Social's my sphere, after all.
My parents divorced
when I was 12,
I was home alone a
lot, and going online
in your chat rooms,
that made me actually feel like
I was part of the world outside.
I'm sorry, I don't know why
I told you all that. I...
It's my business, but it
doesn't mean I'm good at it.
- Socializing.
- I'm not very
good at it either.
You had no problem
approaching me.
Yeah, sometimes, my ambition
takes over like cruise control,
I just...
I don't know.
- It's hard to explain.
- What are your ambitions?
To change the world.
I was ten when my parents
called it quits.
I created Convene so kids
could make friends across
space and time.
Maybe we ended up creating
a generation of people
who prefer their virtual
lives to their real ones.
I don't think the tools
are the problem.
I think we're just
using them wrong.
Maybe you're right.
Good luck, Trey.
[sighs]
[* Yo La Tengo:
"Autumn Sweater"]
[all chanting] Michael, Michael,
Michael, Michael...
[cheering]
These are ridiculously
cool dudes.
That guy, Ted, offered
to teach me Japanese.
- [speaks Japanese]
- [indistinct shouting]
Hey, what's up, man?
You all right?
I feel like
such an idiot.
I came here because
I thought he...
Who?
[laughs]
Ohh... Yeah.
Cool, man, cool. Cool.
Hey, dude.
Don't feel stupid.
You're, like, the
smartest guy I know.
I'm the one that should
feel like an idiot.
I... I had no idea how you
felt about Michael until...
Look, man,
I'm just saying,
I got your back, all right?
Whatever you need.
Did that help or
did I make it worse?
[sighs]
I think I'd like to go home.
Sure, man.
You got it. We outtie.
- [rattling]
- [distant moan]
[rattling, moaning continue]
Yeah, Miss Walls.
You wanna do my
laundry, Miss Walls?
- You betcha.
- Yeah. It's so dirty.
-It's dirty laundry.
-[grunts]
[sighing]
- Yes! Yes!
- To experience! [laughs]
Hey. Sorry. Are you hungry?
Wanna get out of here?
What did you
have in mind?
I don't know. Food.
Tacos, maybe. Anything you want.
- Just the two of us?
- Is that crazy?
Look who you're talking to.
[up-tempo music playing]
* Don't ask yourself
* If you're holding
back tonight *
* 'Cause this is everybody's
chance for romance *
* 'Cause this is everybody's
one side romance *
- [Michael] Avinash.
- Meet you at the Mitch Mobile?
- Leaving so early?
- Yes, I, um...
Mitchell needs
to be somewhere.
Oh. My mates thought
he was great.
You too, for that matter.
They're nice people.
I think you'd have fun
getting to know 'em.
Listen... you know,
I invited you here
because I wanted you to
see what's possible...
...how good it can be...
...if you just embrace
what's there.
- I don't know how.
- Yes. You do.
There's nothing
you can't do. Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. All right.
- That was off
the record, right?
- [laughs]
Hey, I know a revenge
fuck when I feel one.
Uh, it wasn't that hot.
- Owww!
- [laughs]
- Respect the crazy.
- All right, yes. Mad respect.
Jesus, what am
I doing here?
God, it wasn't that bad.
No, no, I mean
this whole trip.
Everything's just
gone off the rails.
If things don't work out
with Victoria, I'm screwed.
I didn't exactly
pack a parachute.
You know, sleeping with me
usually gives men confidence.
- [laughs]
- [phone rings]
Hello?
What the fuck did you
say to Zack Casper?
We just talked.
I think.
OK. Well, whatever you said,
it was love at first sight.
He's considering a major
investment. I just got
off the phone with him.
He told me to cancel
the rest of our meetings.
He wants to sit down
next week in SF.
Well, what does that mean?
It means you won
the lottery, kid.
Get ready to change
the fucking world.
- To us! Team BRB!
- Yeah!
- Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag!
- Yeah!
- Mmm.
- Ah.
Casper's coming up on Friday.
Victoria said he
just wants to fly in,
settle the terms and fly out.
I guess he's heading
to Barcelona to open
- another Convene campus.
- That is cool.
Soon as we get that scrill, I'm
gonna buy the '89 Winged Eagle
championship belt
like Hulk Hogan wore.
And, uh, just a lock
of whatever hair is left.
- [laughs]
- Oh, Mitchy,
it's so nice to see money
hasn't changed you.
I'm gonna get one of
those hot air balloons.
Just fly around with my
friends and have adventures.
That's cool, bro.
I'd be happy with
a regular paycheck.
Yeah, if we could actually
keep this quiet until after
Brenda marries that backstabbing
prick it'd be great.
I just don't want her grubby
hands all over my zeppelin.
- You know what I'm gonna buy?
- What?
- Another round.
- Yay!
-I like that.
-Thank you.
Hey. This is real, right?
We can be excited?
Yeah. Yeah,
we can be excited.
- [laughs]
- [phone chimes]
Oh, can you...?
Always leave 'em wanting more.
I guess it worked, huh?
Shut up. We need to talk.
Oh. OK. What's up?
Something about your encounter
with Casper got my
Spidey-Senses tingling.
I mean, what is America's
favorite billionaire
doing just hanging
out at Zip Manor?
Maybe he likes ribeye.
What's your point?
I did some digging. It turns
out that Victoria's known
Casper for months,
if not longer. She had to
have known that he would
be at the beach.
So what are you saying?
That Victoria didn't bring
me there to meet investors?
That she brought me
there to meet him?
This was all part of her plan?
Trey, you need to be careful.
This "deal" isn't what
it appears to be.
I hope you didn't spend any
of that investment money yet.
[rock music plays]
* Try to see the road ahead
* Don't you know?
Don't you know? *
* 'Cause what you see
is what you get *
[man] Watch all episodes
of Alpha House, starring
John Goodman.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- Exclusively on Amazon Prime
Instant Video.
Amazing.
* I've got a lust for life
* And a dangerous mind
* In my trail of dust
* Who knows what you'll find
* I can take a tree
* And tear it from its roots
* If you see me
* I suggest you move
* We're full-grown men...
Nash-tag!
How you livin', buddy?
- How's Los Angeles?
- Uh, sunny. Hold on.
- * We'll face the music...
- [shutter snaps]
You won't believe where
Victoria put me up.
This place makes our dorm room
look like a third world country.
You really need to visit
a third world country.
You know what I mean.
Check out Insta, I'll post pics.
I hope you find time
to take a few meetings
in-between photo brags.
Hey, quit worrying. OK?
I can hear you
stress-walking from here.
Me and Victoria? We got this.
I'll check in later.
* We'll face the music
* Next time we roll in *
[* Telekinesis: "Power Lines"]
* I'm a broken man
I'm damaged goods *
* Lock me in the basement
with furnace soot *
[sighs] I can't bring Michael
an old album for his birthday.
- It's tacky.
- You're right, gay dudes
hate vintage kitsch.
You're being facetious,
aren't you?
Yeah. Pretty much always.
Maybe I'll just
get him a gift card.
[laughs] Yeah.
Nothing says "thoughtful"
like 20 bucks worth
of frappuccinos.
- Come on, man.
- You know, I probably shouldn't
even be going in
the first place.
No. Look, OK,
Lau wouldn't have
invited you
- if he didn't want
you there.
- Yeah.
- Now let's pick something.
- OK...
- Move over.
- [grunts]
So, you're taking
Mitch, huh?
Mm-hmm.
I bet he's pretty jazzed
to be your plus one.
Mitchell is jazzed to
put socks on in the morning.
[laughs] Yeah.
Has he said anything to you?
If you want to know how
he's doing, just ask him.
Uh, Michael had a
t-shirt of this band.
Hey. Yo La Tengo.
It's like Al Green for hipsters.
Is that good?
- It's fucking perfect.
- [laughs]
Antwonne has filed an
official complaint,
which has made things
very awkward for us here
at ValleySmash.
- That's funny.
I don't feel awkward.
- You should.
Sexual harassment
is not something we
just sweep under the rug.
Does this mean you
won't suck my dick?
It means that you're going
on a leave of absence
to attend a sensitivity
training seminar.
- Which you clearly need.
- Huh.
And I don't
suppose that Antwonne
will suddenly get bumped up
to editor in my absence.
It's a slap on the wrist,
Jordan. Be grateful for that.
You spineless twat.
There's no need
for theatrics.
Oh, really? 'Cause
you've been getting fat
off of my "theatrics"
for years, Lambert.
I'm the only one driving
the eyeballs to your shitty
little blog to begin with!
OK, why don't we revisit this
at a time you're not...
Revisit this. I fucking quit!
[sighs, laughs]
[up-tempo music playing]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Oh. [laughs]
To "enabling serendipity."
[laughs] All right.
Uh, now I put together a
list of potential investors
on the flight down. I thought
maybe we should compare notes...
OK, all right.
Slow your roll there, cowboy.
[laughs] You're here because
you trust me, remember?
I've made inquiries,
and there's a lot of people
that are excited about you,
including Jayson Prust.
The founder of Zip Text?
I can't believe
we're on his radar.
I'm sure it doesn't hurt that
I made him a millionaire before
his 23rd birthday.
Well, then we've got
some catching up to do.
I'm 24 and nearly broke.
- That's because
you just met me.
- [laughs]
Trevor's dad, our physical
connection just dissolved.
It was as if our souls
became estranged.
And don't get me started
on his browsing history.
[whispers] He was into
some very weird stuff.
Would you stop it?
I almost cut your ear.
I wish you would. It would
beat hearing about you and
Dad's sex life.
Total opposite with
Brenda and me.
By the time we got divorced,
sex was all we had.
It was the only way we could be
in the same room without trying
to choke each other.
Although there was
some choking involved.
It was just such a
cliche, you know?
He just wanted someone younger.
Prettier. Asian-er.
- [snorts] Sounds
like an asshole.
- At least he's not homeless.
You know,
it's the same in tech.
Everyone's so obsessed
with the new.
You know, hey, maybe the
latest is not the greatest.
Yeah. Doesn't experience
count for anything? Wisdom?
- A lot of bitching?
- [laughs] To experience.
[bottles clink]
Hey, could you maybe
wait to get shitfaced
until after we're done?
Watch your mouth,
young man.
- Screw Kansas, right?
- [laughs] Yeah.
I thought we were
taking a lunch meeting.
Yeah. We are. The Zip
crew is hosting a
barbecue for TechWeek.
There he is.
- How ya livin', Vicky Smalls?
- Hey.
- She hates it when
I call her that.
- [laughs]
Jayson, this is Trey Barrett.
Founder of BRB.
Dude, total pleasure.
Your app is so sick.
- Thanks, man.
It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- No. Bring it in.
That's how we do.
- [laughs]
Medium rare all right for you?
- Only way to fly.
- Yeah, bloody for me.
- Full paleo?
Keep it tight, girl.
- Yeah.
I like it. I get these
steaks from a lesbian
butcher in WeHo.
Dry-aged six weeks.
They are literally
off the hook.
[laughs]
This place is incredible.
It's not a dirty alley
in SOMA, or anything,
but we manage somehow.
Hey, don't sell Velocity short.
We just got a cereal buffet.
Lemme guess. You...
You just had your demo day.
Did the whole dog and pony
for a bunch of lanyard-hangers
who said shit like, "Oh, you
know, we think this is brilliant
but, uh, why don't you get
back to us in six months?"
[laughs] Yeah, there was...
...there was definitely
talk of circling back.
That's why I had to pull
the ripcord and set up shop
down here, you know.
Let the quants quibble
over spreadsheets
while I actually
build something for users
without all the bullshit.
- Does that look done to you?
- Looks great.
- This is a nice house.
- Pretty.
Avinash! I'm so
glad you could make it.
Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah.
Thank you for inviting me. Um...
Of course.
So this is, um,
uh, Mitchell.
- Hey.
- Mitchell, pleasure.
[laughs]
Are you guys together?
- No. We're not.
- Yep.
We... we work together.
At BRB.
No, yeah. Oh, no.
Total mistake.
We're not together. We rode
over here together but, uh,
Nash asked me to be his plus
one 'cause he didn't wanna...
- He was afraid to come alone.
- No, I wasn't.
No, I mean, uh, Nash
doesn't like to drive
and so he asked me to
so that he wouldn't get
sweaty biking over here.
This is where the magic
happens. 'Sup, Shawnda?
Wow. Uh, seems
pretty laid back.
Yeah, we play hard but, uh,
I don't know, work gets done.
We actually just pushed
an epic update,
added some sick new
filters to Zip Video.
Great. Teenagers can send
their dick pics in sepia tone.
Bong, bong, bong!
This guy gets it.
Um, is this your team?
[laughs] These guys?
Oh. God, no.
No. That's Juicebox back there.
We went to high school together.
Dude was all-state lacrosse.
So where... where
are your engineers?
Well, I used to have this CTO...
some fucking Chinese guy.
But he started getting grabby
when we were blowing up.
He was trying
to block my shine.
Now I basically just outsource
to India and Brazil.
I'll tell you what "CTO" really
stands for. "Can't take over."
Actually, my CTO
is my best friend.
[sighs] All I'm sayin'
is watch your back.
Anyway, how much you
guys lookin' to raise?
I, uh, we're
still discussing that.
All right. Well, whenever you're
ready let's chop it up.
I already got some ideas
on how to improve the app.
Uh, like the "hidden profiles"
thing? Gots to go.
[forced chuckle] Totally.
Uh, would you excuse me?
I think I left my
shades downstairs, bro.
Oh. Yeah.
Protect those corneas, bud.
Where's Trey? I was hoping
to continue mending
our broken fence.
Oh. He's in LA,
meeting with investors.
- Without you?
- I didn't want
to miss your party.
- Uh, this is for you.
- Oh.
Avinash. You shouldn't have.
But, seeing that you did, may I?
- Please.
- Yeah?
Wow...
this takes me back.
Seventh grade high
school in Australia.
[laughs] My first concert.
- Oh, and my first kiss.
- Oh...
So thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
Hey, let me introduce
you to my mates.
Everyone, this is
my mate, Avinash,
and Mitchell,
a new one.
Let's show them a
good time, yeah?
- Ted, you're on cocktail duty.
- You got it.
Sweet, uh, could I please
get a Vodka-Red Bull?
Oh, you poor child.
Come with me.
- I'll show you.
- Oh. OK.
Show you the ways.
[laughs]
Let me guess, Jay went
douche-point-oh on you?
Yeah.
Not my favorite person.
Well, listen, we don't have
to bite until it feels good.
This is about making
an opportunity for you,
not Zip Text.
[sighs]
- All right.
- Come on. Party's heating up.
Plenty more douchebags
for you to meet.
[laughs] Great.
It just all came out
of nowhere, you know?
I like opened the door.
I was like, "What do you want?"
And it was like, boom!
Kiss, hands, zip!
And I was like, "Whoa, whoa,
whoa, pump the brakes
there, baby girl."
And, you know, looking
back I guess that was
kind of a puss move,
but it was just...
it was just a lot to process,
in like a little bit of time.
So...
And that's when
she started crying?
Yeah, man, it got
real, like real fast.
'Cause I was like, "Oh, my God.
This is amazing. Like finally."
And she was just
like, "My mom sucks."
And I kinda just like
held her in my arms
until she fell asleep.
And it was awesome, but it
sucked at the same time. [sighs]
Have you talked
to her since then?
Yeah, but she was
like uber casual
in the morning,
you know.
Like we shared a toaster
strudel and I just felt
like I was just back in
the friend zone. Like that.
- I don't know what to do
- Well, here's the thing, Mitch.
To her, you're this
like sweet, cute guy
who's gonna be there
for her through all
of her ups and downs.
You're her rock.
Which is...
Which is really cool,
if you can roll like that.
But I've known you
for about 20 minutes
and I'm pretty sure you
can't, so... [laughs]
unless you're cool with just
waiting in the wings forever,
then you need to tell
her what you want.
Even if that means
letting her go.
Damn, Ted.
That was some real talk.
You're right, man.
I gotta [inhales]...
I gotta sack up.
I gotta be a man.
[laughs] You are a man.
So, Trey's in LA, huh?
Don't you think you should
be with your CEO?
Meeting people, making decisions
about BRB's future?
I mean I understand
that you're friends,
but business is business.
Uh, it was a
joint decision.
Besides, um, he's better at
that stuff than me. [laughs]
You have no idea how
valuable you are, Avinash.
You know, uh, my
development team
can hardly keep up with our
company's growth, you know.
An engineer like you,
with your vision,
your talent, could turn
it around in a month.
I wish you could see that.
There's my birthday boy!
Oh, you cannot
be serious about that.
I'm very serious.
Come on.
I refuse to let this be
another one of your boring
wine and chitchat evenings.
It's a fucking fiesta.
Raffi, this is Avinash.
Avinash, this is my aggressively
Hispanic boyfriend, Rafael.
Uh, it's... it's very
nice to meet you.
I can't tell you how sick
I am of hearing your name.
Oh. Thank you.
Hey. You're embarrassing us.
Oh. Ben and Avery, they just
brought their new puppy.
It's a little mastiff named
Maximus and it's adorable.
Come on.
Let's go meet him
before he shits all over
your bamboo floors.
- [laughs] Will you excuse us?
- Of course.
All right. Let's do this.
[Dashawn] No contest, dude.
Present-day Metallica
blows chunks compared
to Dethklok.
Dude, even present-day Metallica
hates present-day Metallica.
I'm talking about "Ride The
Lightning," "Master of Puppets,"
the real deal Denmark shit.
Plus Dethklok are like,
cartoons.
Seriously? They toured
last year, you idiot.
We went and saw them.
- Oh, yeah.
- Has he ever gotten an MRI?
I feel like brain damage is
a real possibility for him.
He huffed a lot of paint
back in the day.
Got any dirties?
I'm doing a load.
Yeah, but, uh, you know,
I don't wanna put you out.
Don't be silly.
It's no trouble.
All right.
God, I feel like I should
take you out to
dinner or something.
Well, I might just
take you up on that.
OK.
Besides, dude, Kirk Hammett
is from San Francisco.
- Where's your pride?
- Where's yours?
You just offered up your
skid-marked skivvies
to Trev's mom to wash.
As far as Hammett's concerned,
the guy owns a horse ranch.
- Case closed.
- I don't know what that means.
[Joanne] Hobbes, can you come
down here for a minute?
I... I think the
machine's leaking!
Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Make yourself
useful, King Nothing. [laughs]
[laughs]
- You like that?
- [grunts]
- We gotta get him outta here.
- Yeah.
[strumming quiet rhythm]
Jordan?
Wow, of all the bonfires,
on all the beaches
in all the world,
she walks into mine.
- [laughs] That's
a shitty Bogey.
- I know.
I'm just surprised you
know the reference.
[grunts] Just 'cause I
used to work for a gossip rag
doesn't mean I'm
completely uncultured.
- Used to?
- I guess you don't
read the trades
- unless they're about you, huh?
- No, it's been a busy day.
Yeah. It's a long story,
but ValleySmash and
I have parted ways.
- They fired you?
- Fired. Quit. Lost my shit.
- Semantics.
- [laughs]
Yeah, I... I came down
here for TechWeek,
trying to find some
greener pastures.
The Murch shot at me
with a paintball gun
- and told me to go fuck myself.
- Huh.
So, I guess we're
in the same boat.
Well, it might be
a long journey.
We better get some sustenance.
Ah, allow me.
Hey, uh, do you mind?
Oh, sorry.
Is that Zack Casper?
[chuckles]
Oh, yeah.
I thought I recognized that
slouch from the cover of Forbes.
Well, I have to
go talk to him.
I mean, I'd be stupid
not to, right?
I never thought
of you as stupid.
What's the problem?
Oh, I... I realized I don't
have all your dirty clothes.
[laughs] Oh, whoa, whoa.
OK. [moans, sighs]
It's so nice to have a
man around the house.
And for the record, I still
wanna go out to dinner.
[moans, sighs]
I got a Groupon
for Destino.
[sighs]
[gasps]
Hi.
Uh, I'm sorry to intrude.
I just...
You've been a huge
inspiration for me
and I knew if I didn't say
something, I'd regret it.
- What's your name?
- Trey Barrett.
The "face to face" app, right?
From Murchison's accelerator.
BRB. Yeah, I... I can't
believe you've heard of it.
I keep my ear to the ground.
Social's my sphere, after all.
My parents divorced
when I was 12,
I was home alone a
lot, and going online
in your chat rooms,
that made me actually feel like
I was part of the world outside.
I'm sorry, I don't know why
I told you all that. I...
It's my business, but it
doesn't mean I'm good at it.
- Socializing.
- I'm not very
good at it either.
You had no problem
approaching me.
Yeah, sometimes, my ambition
takes over like cruise control,
I just...
I don't know.
- It's hard to explain.
- What are your ambitions?
To change the world.
I was ten when my parents
called it quits.
I created Convene so kids
could make friends across
space and time.
Maybe we ended up creating
a generation of people
who prefer their virtual
lives to their real ones.
I don't think the tools
are the problem.
I think we're just
using them wrong.
Maybe you're right.
Good luck, Trey.
[sighs]
[* Yo La Tengo:
"Autumn Sweater"]
[all chanting] Michael, Michael,
Michael, Michael...
[cheering]
These are ridiculously
cool dudes.
That guy, Ted, offered
to teach me Japanese.
- [speaks Japanese]
- [indistinct shouting]
Hey, what's up, man?
You all right?
I feel like
such an idiot.
I came here because
I thought he...
Who?
[laughs]
Ohh... Yeah.
Cool, man, cool. Cool.
Hey, dude.
Don't feel stupid.
You're, like, the
smartest guy I know.
I'm the one that should
feel like an idiot.
I... I had no idea how you
felt about Michael until...
Look, man,
I'm just saying,
I got your back, all right?
Whatever you need.
Did that help or
did I make it worse?
[sighs]
I think I'd like to go home.
Sure, man.
You got it. We outtie.
- [rattling]
- [distant moan]
[rattling, moaning continue]
Yeah, Miss Walls.
You wanna do my
laundry, Miss Walls?
- You betcha.
- Yeah. It's so dirty.
-It's dirty laundry.
-[grunts]
[sighing]
- Yes! Yes!
- To experience! [laughs]
Hey. Sorry. Are you hungry?
Wanna get out of here?
What did you
have in mind?
I don't know. Food.
Tacos, maybe. Anything you want.
- Just the two of us?
- Is that crazy?
Look who you're talking to.
[up-tempo music playing]
* Don't ask yourself
* If you're holding
back tonight *
* 'Cause this is everybody's
chance for romance *
* 'Cause this is everybody's
one side romance *
- [Michael] Avinash.
- Meet you at the Mitch Mobile?
- Leaving so early?
- Yes, I, um...
Mitchell needs
to be somewhere.
Oh. My mates thought
he was great.
You too, for that matter.
They're nice people.
I think you'd have fun
getting to know 'em.
Listen... you know,
I invited you here
because I wanted you to
see what's possible...
...how good it can be...
...if you just embrace
what's there.
- I don't know how.
- Yes. You do.
There's nothing
you can't do. Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. All right.
- That was off
the record, right?
- [laughs]
Hey, I know a revenge
fuck when I feel one.
Uh, it wasn't that hot.
- Owww!
- [laughs]
- Respect the crazy.
- All right, yes. Mad respect.
Jesus, what am
I doing here?
God, it wasn't that bad.
No, no, I mean
this whole trip.
Everything's just
gone off the rails.
If things don't work out
with Victoria, I'm screwed.
I didn't exactly
pack a parachute.
You know, sleeping with me
usually gives men confidence.
- [laughs]
- [phone rings]
Hello?
What the fuck did you
say to Zack Casper?
We just talked.
I think.
OK. Well, whatever you said,
it was love at first sight.
He's considering a major
investment. I just got
off the phone with him.
He told me to cancel
the rest of our meetings.
He wants to sit down
next week in SF.
Well, what does that mean?
It means you won
the lottery, kid.
Get ready to change
the fucking world.
- To us! Team BRB!
- Yeah!
- Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag!
- Yeah!
- Mmm.
- Ah.
Casper's coming up on Friday.
Victoria said he
just wants to fly in,
settle the terms and fly out.
I guess he's heading
to Barcelona to open
- another Convene campus.
- That is cool.
Soon as we get that scrill, I'm
gonna buy the '89 Winged Eagle
championship belt
like Hulk Hogan wore.
And, uh, just a lock
of whatever hair is left.
- [laughs]
- Oh, Mitchy,
it's so nice to see money
hasn't changed you.
I'm gonna get one of
those hot air balloons.
Just fly around with my
friends and have adventures.
That's cool, bro.
I'd be happy with
a regular paycheck.
Yeah, if we could actually
keep this quiet until after
Brenda marries that backstabbing
prick it'd be great.
I just don't want her grubby
hands all over my zeppelin.
- You know what I'm gonna buy?
- What?
- Another round.
- Yay!
-I like that.
-Thank you.
Hey. This is real, right?
We can be excited?
Yeah. Yeah,
we can be excited.
- [laughs]
- [phone chimes]
Oh, can you...?
Always leave 'em wanting more.
I guess it worked, huh?
Shut up. We need to talk.
Oh. OK. What's up?
Something about your encounter
with Casper got my
Spidey-Senses tingling.
I mean, what is America's
favorite billionaire
doing just hanging
out at Zip Manor?
Maybe he likes ribeye.
What's your point?
I did some digging. It turns
out that Victoria's known
Casper for months,
if not longer. She had to
have known that he would
be at the beach.
So what are you saying?
That Victoria didn't bring
me there to meet investors?
That she brought me
there to meet him?
This was all part of her plan?
Trey, you need to be careful.
This "deal" isn't what
it appears to be.
I hope you didn't spend any
of that investment money yet.
[rock music plays]
* Try to see the road ahead
* Don't you know?
Don't you know? *
* 'Cause what you see
is what you get *
[man] Watch all episodes
of Alpha House, starring
John Goodman.
- Oh, that'd be great.
- Exclusively on Amazon Prime
Instant Video.
Amazing.