Berkeley Square (1998–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pretty Maids All in a Row - full transcript

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* Subtitles custom made by
Jos Carrera for his beautiful bride *

Matilda Wickham, to the best of my
knowledge over three years,

is a clean person of honest disposition

who will make a very good head nurse.

In the nursery, she's regular
and tidy in her habits,

skilled at mending,
conscientious with laundry

and does not stand nonsense.

Also, Matilda Wickham is
possessed of all her own teeth

so will not frighten the
children with dentures.

Mrs. Horace Chambers of Kensington

On matters regarding the children,
you will refer to me and on all other matters



to Mrs. McClusky, my housekeeper.

As well as the general staff,
there is a nursery maid to assist you

and I expect the nursery to be run
quietly and efficiently.

We entertain a great deal.
Yes, ma'am.

There'll be no friends calling at the house

and you'll sleep in the nursery
with the children.

Do you have any questions?

Should I refer to you on matters
of the children's clothing and diet, ma'am?

I was speaking of specific problems,
Miss Wickham, not day-to-day trivialities.

Yes, ma’am.

And at what time do you prefer to see
the children in the afternoon?

It depends entirely upon
my other engagements.

And when can I take my day off, please?

First Sunday in the month
may be convenient.



I usually visit my family
every Sunday, madame.

You may have the first Sunday in
a month and every Sunday afternoon.

Thank you.

New nanny's just arrived.

You better get upstairs
or you'll be in trouble

even quicker than you
was with the last one.

It’s not fair.
Thought I was gonna be head nurse.

Thought I was going to be Empress of China!

Funny old life, isn’t it?

Ask Cook to let me have the
weeks menu by this afternoon.

What?

Only the nursery meals, of course.

Nurse Bailey never wanted menus.

Well, then perhaps we can
discuss the idea later.

Children generally like to know.

Hello.

Now you must be... let me see

You must be Thomas?
No, that's Miss Harriet.

Thank you, Pringle.
Well, in that case,

I’d very much like to meet Thomas.

Would you run and fetch him for me?

I'll come down to discuss nurse
arrangements at 4 o'clock?

Just as you like.

Ah, now you must be Thomas.
How do you do?

You smell like a tart.

This has been donated by his Lordship the
Earl of Amansworth,

a pig worth three guineas to the winner
of the May Day Hog Ride.

To sell or slaughter as he pleases.

I'm instructed to say the that if Lord William
wins the pig again this year,

he will donate the pig to be

roasted for the delight
of you all this evening.

The winner will be the first man to snatch
the garland from the Maypole

and reward it to the lady of his choice.

You’re the most beautiful woman here.

And I'll be the angriest
if you dare present me

with that pose in front
of all these corpers.

I'm as disgraced as it is.

Then I'll keep it and
present it to you later.

Did you see that?

I swear of you both.
He’ll win

To your places, gentlemen.

On the first!

On the second!

And….

I suppose I'm the reason his Lordships
sitting over there.

Are you sure you want to
be seen talking to me?

You could lose your job as well.

His Lordship feels your presence here

with a little one is an embarrassment.

It's his grandson, for goodness sake.

And the family will never
forgive you for it.

Well, they may have dismissed
me from the service

but they'll not dismiss
me from the village.

Not while William wants me here.

So, which sort of tart do you
think I smell like then, Tom?

Apple or Jam?

I don't know.

It's funny that. I always thought
I smelled of good soap and water,

not Treacle pudding.

I don't mind, it's quite nice smell.

He didn't mean anything bad.

I'm sure he didn't.

I'm just curious to know what he did mean.

I don't know.
It's just something father said.

Really?

Well, all I know is that people who listen
at doors grrow big ears.

We weren't listening at doors.

We couldn't help it.
He was shouting loud.

Shut up. She's a servant.

She is the cat's mother.

I am Nanny and you stand in
the corner for five minutes

until you learn to be a gentleman

who does not hit his sister.

Well, go on.

Nah, nah, don't care, it's nice to care.

That's enough from you, young lady.

Change the baby now, shall I?
Thank you.

What's he done now?

Oh, nothing that can't be mended.

That'll make a change.
Nasty little brat he is

and she's a right little care!
Pringle? What?

Come with me.

What's the matter?
What have I done?

If ever hear you speak like that
in front of the children again...

Should hear what they said to
me sometimes, hoity toity little...

Pringle!

One more word out of you and
you'll hear what I can say sometimes...

I was brought up down on Commercial Road.

I can manage.

Fowler, I thought I asked
you to make sure that

Nanny Collins was given
help with the baby coach?

Yes, your Ladyship.

Then why have I just seen
her struggling by herself?

The offer of assistance was made,
your Ladyship, more than once.

I see.
Very well.

Thank you, Fowler.

George, you must talk to her.

Who?

Nanny Collins.

You must tell her she's not to try to do
all these things by herself anymore.

Good Lord, I wouldn't dare.

Besides, if she won't listen to Fowler

you certainly won't listen to me.

For Heaven's sake.

She'd tell cook not to let me have
kippers for a year... for impertinence.

There you are, you see?

The perfect opportunity to kill
two birds with one stone.

What?

Reverend Wilks from the Devon Estate

asking if we can find wholesome
employment for the

deserving daughter of one of your tenants.

Morning Reverend.

Morning Lydia.

Cherio.
Bye.

Rubin, stop chasing that bird and get inside

and cleaned up before momma has a fit.

Learned anything yet?
I'm sorry, Lydia,

Look, letters only went
off only a few days ago.

You mustn't be too disappointed.

We'll hear something soon.

It doesn't have to be a grand job.
Just something that would...

I know old Mr. Tugoran is looking for help
with his sheep now that his sons gone.

Yes! And I wouldn't be any better
off that I am here, would I?

At least of what Sally Tucker has to
say about old Mr...

Begging your pardon, Vicar.

Something will turn up.

I'm sure of it.

What was all that about?

Just passing the time of day.

Replaced Nanny with a bumpkin?

No, George, encourage a nice
young girl to advance herself

whilst giving Nanny some assistance.

Out of the question.

Nanny's been bringing
up babies for 50 years.

Good grief, she brought me up.

Yes, and a very good job
she did too, dear but

Connie, when Nanny needs help,
she'll ask for it.

You shouldn't have come, Mr. Hackford?

They'll throw you out as well, if they knew.

Now old Hammond retired early

and the doctors were their grace.

I needed to make sure you were all right.

They wouldn't let me
have a part of his life

and they couldn't let me have
just a little part of his death.

You have more of his life than anyone else.

Oh, my God, they going
to give me the music.

Stop that!

I said stop!

We've got not arguement
with thee, Hackford.

And you have none with Miss Randall.

She's a whore and we'll
play music every night

for as long as we choose.

Til she takes her wrongdoing
back where she came from.

She has a young baby.

Aye, she has.

Get your things together.

You'd better come back with
me to Harmondsworth Hall.

You'll be alright there. I've nodded off
enough in that chair myself before now.

I've lived here since I
was 14, Mr Hackford.

Can't go back home to Ireland.

No, I know.

First time in my life,
I don't know what to do.

Get yourself away from
here as fast as you can.

Get another job now, start again.

Another job?
With no references?

Middle girls don't need letters.

They need to eat though.

I've not but a flower
left in the world.

Nothing you can sell?

Only my mum's locket.

Not even real gold, who'll buy that, ay?

Would you take three shillings for it?

I'll be grateful.

Henmos Rug would give you a ride in

the cart as far as Doncaster tomorrow.

He's taking his niece to the canal.

Where does the canal go?

All the way to London.

I do find it most peculiar.

Some people in this country think it's not

quite the done thing for a well-bred
woman to feed her own baby.

Can you imagine?

The first Lady Lamson Scribner brought
in a wet nurse for the Master Hugh.

Did she?
What a shame.

And I gave him the bottle after that.

Really?

Still I seem to have
plenty of milk so

I don't think you'd be troubled on
that account more than occasionally.

Will your Ladyship bring up his wind
or shall I be permitted?

Thank you, Mrs. Collins.
Want to go to Nanny? Go on. Up up up.

George, I have nothing against the woman.

Well, then.

But she is gonna become a danger
to herself

the more to the point, to Ivo.

But you just told me she
didn't boil the kettle.

Because she was afraid to, George.

She doesn't trust herself
to handle boiling water.

Hope she doesn't mind cold tea.

That's not the point.
What if there were an accident?

What about when Ivo starts crawling.

If she can't look after herself,

how is she gonna look after him?

Confounded Connie, send up one of
the housemaids or something.

No, I want her.

She's of honest and kindly disposition,

robust constitution, experienced in

looking after children having largely

brought up eleven brothers and sisters,
eleven, good Lord.

She is one of your own tenants
who is desperate to better herself

and comes highly recommended by
one of your own parish priests.

He's a vicar, not a priest.

I don't care if he's the Pope.

Do I or do I not

have your agreement to send
for this Lydia Weston?

No, she isn't going.

I do wish you would
consider it, Mr. Weston.

Lydia is being offered
an excellent position in

one of the finest houses in London.

She's needed here.

Jeremiah finishes school this summer

and Suzanne is home from Tivitan's soon.

Go and get your hens fed.

It wouldn't be forever, Dad.
Oh, yes it would.

Cuz I say so.

You leave this house and
you're no child of mine.

It's alright, Ma.
I won't go.

It'd be different if Jeremiah
weren't such a lazy begger.

Daft idea really.

I'm sorry.

It was just an idea.
I didn't mean to upset you.

How old am I, Lydia?

I don't know. I never
really thought about it?

I'm 39.

I met Joe when I was 17.
And not one bright year since.

39, Lydia.
And I'm like a worn out horse

that's good for nothing
but the nackers, you heard.

You'll stay here and first you
be in love with Johnny Watson.

then you'll wed him and then before
you know it, your a rag like me.

You can go to London, my girl.

You go with your fancy ladyship.

You wear the pretty clothes and
you wash face in warm water.

And you learn nice manners
and be with nice people.

And then you put on one
of them pretty frocks

and you get one of them photographs
took and you send it to me.

And I'll put it over the
mantlepiece in there

and when people ask, I'll say
that's my Lydia

who got herself out of this muck and
made something of herself.

And just once in my life, I'll have
someone to be proud of.

Now you go back and pack
your bags this minute.

Please, Nanny, don't cry.

I am not crying.

I thought I'd given you a
good service, Master George.

You have Nanny, best in all the world.

I suppose I could go and
live with my neice in Bournemouth.

I don't want you to go anywhere.
We merely want to get someone to help you.

I don't need help.

We don't want you working
so hard at your age.

You think I can't manage any more.

They should come in here ordering me
about their silly new ideas.

No one's going to order you about.

She's a village girl.
She knows absolutely nothing.

You're gonna have to tell her everything.

You're still Nanny but now you'll be
Head Nanny, that's all.

Truth?

Cross my heart and hope to die.

Miss Weston?

I'm Gibbons.

I got the carriage outside
take you to Berkeley Square.

Thank you very much, sir.

Do you need a hand with those?

No thanks, I can manage.

How did you know it's me.

Just a guess.

I've got to take these myself.

I'll take you up to the nursery first.

Miss Lydia Weston. sir.

How do you do, Miss Weston?

Your Lordship.

My mum, Mrs. Weston, begs to be remembered
and sends these to your wife

with kind thanks for giving me this position.

It's a dozen new laid eggs and
a quart of clotted cream

because she thinks she might
not have any in London.

Lydia, this is Mr. Fowler, the Butler.

Her Ladyship is particularly
fond of clotted cream, Lydia.

I will convey your mother's gift and good
wishes to her at the earliest opportunity.

Thank you, sir

You're playing with fire, Ned.
Only way to keep warm, mate.

Trust me.

Oh, making a proper circus of it, are we?

Why not?
Lot of people coming tonight.

So I hear.

Word is you're out to make a
bit of a monkey out of me.

No, no, no, you heard it wrong, see.

Were out make a bit of money out of you.

Let you know what it feels like.

Snot nosed little...

Save it for tonight, Mr Flynn.

Yeah, I will.

Is that today's menu, Pringle?
Yeah, and um, you've got a letter.

Thank You.

Watson pie with creamed potatoes.

Stained lemon pudding.
That all sounds most satisfactory.

Who's it from?

Why Cook, of course.

Tom. Harriet.

Run along.
Let Pringle help you get washed

while I get Imogene up.

Ow!
Stand still then you little...

Who'd she get letters from then, Tom?
I don't know.

You're hurting me.
Stop being a baby.

You'll have to read it then, won't you?
Like you'd do all the others?

I don't.
Of course you do.

So you knew what Nanny Bailey
was up to behind our backs.

Ow!

Look, stop it Pringle.
You're hurting her.

Go on then, off have at it.

I want to use lavatory.

Hurry up then.

Go away first.

Why?

What have you got worth hiding?

Go away!

Get on with it.

I'll tell Nanny.

What, do you think
she'll do about it, aye?

She don't care about you.

She be off with a young man
as soon as she can.

She won't!
Of course she will.

Why would she want to stay with
a nasty little brat like you for?

Are you gonna get on with it or
do I have to do it for you?

You should be paying two shillings a week

but the bed is big and the baby is little.

One shilling a week.

Should be paying me to stay in this mess.

What did you say?
I don't understand.

Oh nothing.

Are you foreign?

I'll take it, Mrs.

Bronowski.
And you pay in advance.

I'm very glad you have nice
children to look after.

I've made up a poem for
your young gentlemen.

There was a young fellow called Tom

Who learned how to play on a drum.

The noise of his toy annoyed
all the big boys

So they sent him back where he came from.

That's you!

Will write again soon.
Your loving brother, Jack.

Has he made a poem for me?

I'm sure it will next time.

And Tom,

if you want to read my letters,
then do wash your hands first

You've left modeling glue
all over this one.

Afternoon.
Afternoon Nanny.

We don't know her.
We don't talk to common strangers.

When did you last eat?
Mmm, yesterday.

Skin and bone is no good for a fat baby.

What are you doing in Limehouse, London
anyway, if you please?

Looking for work.

Blacknose high quality ladies
garment manufacturers around the corner

They're looking for stitchers

but the note is up this
morning if you are fast

maybe there's a job left.

Thank you, I'll see
them this afternoon.

And what do you do with the baby, heh?

Strapped him to your back.

I really don't know Mrs. um

Bronowski.
You're so stupid.

Look, 10 pence an week and I look
after Billy till you get work.

Then 6 pence a week.

Really?

And this afternoon...for nothing.

He's, how do you say, a rare fighting boy.

I take good care of him.

Thank you.

And we'll take good
care of each other, hmm?

To whom it may concern.

Hannah Randall has been employed in my
household as my personal maid for two years

and is of an upright,
decent and moral character.

She's precise and tidy in her habits and

faithful and hardworking in her duties.

Signed the Countess of Harmonsworth

Are you mad?
It's the only way, Dan.

I had to tell him it was a gang
of us clubbing together.

He'd never have offered 10 to 1
if he learned that it was just my money.

Where'd you get 10 guineas?

Sold the market pitch.
Sold everything I own.

I make a hundred guineas.

I can start a proper business with that.

Got alot of faith in yourself, don't you?
As if I was the angel Gabriel.

We're not done yet, little one.

Your rose is by that family
and I swear I'll get it for you.

I make that one hundred guineas, Mr. Flynn.

All bets are off.

Do what?

You heard.
That'll teach you to fight dirty.

That was a fair fight and you know it.

Pay what's owed, Flynn.

Get your hands off me.

Poles Surrender!

You're quick with the ad,
I'll give you that

Advertisements only been
in a couple of hours.

I'm very anxious to find employment, mum.

Well it's lighting fires and
scrubbing below stairs.

6 til 2

3 shillings a week
and a hot dinner.

Thank you, mum.

Not so fast.
Let's have a look at your character.

What are you doing going
for a daily woman?

Says here you was a lady's maid.

Family commitments, mum.

Can't live in with an
aging mother to care for.

You brought your mother
over from Ireland, have you?

What?

Well, you're not from around here, are you?

No, I could hardly leave her there and
take care of her from here, could I?

Why did you leave your last position?
Good job, good family.

You're not a Papist, are you?

No, no I am...
I'd rather not say personal reasons

Oh yes, well it's easy
found out if I totally...

Look, I'm after a job as
a skivvy, that's all.

I think I better show this to
Mrs. Delancey, don't you?

She's old friends with Lady Harmon

No!

I find this constant procession of
nursemaids quite intolerable.

As do the children, no doubt.
Good day.

If you hear of a girl who would make a
reliable maid for number five,

I will tell her to get in touch with you.
Good day.

Good day.

Lydia.
Yes, Nanny?

Are we ploughing the 10 acre meadow?

No, Nanny.

Now then, shoulders back.

That's it.

Oh, what have I told you?

Too much movement causes
weakness of the brain.

You were probably moved
about a great deal, I dare say.

Now then...

Ooh, look.
He chewed right through his ribbon.

You have to tap his fingers if you
see him doing that.

I don't like to, he's only tiny.

Doing what we like is not
always doing what is right.

Yes, Nanny

So you can put your
hat and coat on again

and go and fetch half a yard of
Satine fancy from the haberdashers.

Put it on the account.
Sky Blue 3/8 wide

Yes, Nanny.

Go straight then and back across the park
and do not speak to strangers.

No, Nanny.

Come on. It's alright now.

Fifteen more notices to go.
They'll all be gone before I get there.

And they all miserable old bats
that are cut by their old misses

and I gotta get a
husband and got no money.

And my feet are killing me and

I'm afraid fed up with London
that I could kill it.

Mmm.

There's a maids job going up in
Berkeley Square. Number Five.

Don't know their names but
they all good households around here.

I'm in number 17.
Lord and Lady Lamson-Scribener.

Just a thought.
Thank you

Don't thank me.
I hope you get it.

It'd be nice to have someone
under 90 nearby.

Anyway, best get on before
I get to shuttled out.

Bye.
Bye.

I see.

Hannah Randall, madam.

She appears neat and well-spoken

and has excellent references from
Harmonsworth Hall.

Where?

Oh, what are you doing
in London, Miss Randall?

Lady Harmon closed up the house
went abroad after a personal tragedy, ma'am.

There are a few other houses
of quality in the area.

True.

May I ask how you heard of this position?

It has not been advertised, as yet.

A member of the Lamson-Scribener
household informed me, ma'am.

I see.

As you please, Mrs. Simmons.

18 pound per anum found

including uniform and Sunday best.

One half day off per week.

The servants trip to Ramsgate in July.

Present bags to start first thing Monday.

I don't know what it's like in Yorkshire

but you won't find better wages
or conditions in London.

I wasn't expecting to live in.

Well, you're no use as a
nursemaid if you don't.

Do you want the job or not?

For what we are about to receive,
may the Lord make us truly grateful. Amen.

You may begin.

We'll fiinish after the first mouthful,
by the look of it.

Nanny Bailey says that (unknown)

Really?

Well, Nanny Wickham says that small
nursery folk will learn nothing at all if there...

dead from starvation.

Pringle, would you go down
the kitchen, please?

Ask Cook if she would be so kind
as to cut some sandwiches for us.

Me?

Cold beef, if there's some.

Or otherwise cheese would do nicely.

Ned?

I've been looking for you all day.

Been wrestling these boys.

And for good reason to.
Lenny Flynn's dead.

What?

Didn't get up after
you walloped him.

I'm telling you Ned, if you're on
speaking terms with the angel Gabriel

now's the time to start talking.

Right, would somebody like to
tell me what's going on?

I sent you down for sandwiches
a good 30 minutes ago.

Where are they?

They asked about me and got talking.
I haven't asked yet. I'm sorry.

I haven't got time to cut sandwiches, dear.
You can see what it's like.

Mrs. McClusky.

Mrs. St. John gave me to understand that
Pringle is exclusively my nursery maid.

I would be grateful if we
could all remember that.

You might have been exclusive in
your last house, Nanny.

but here when Madame orders a big dinner party,
at the drop of a hat, we all try to muck in.

I see.

Well in that case,
I'm sure you won't mind Pringle

taking up a corner of the
table to make our sandwiches.

But if the nursery lunch
had been less miserly

it wouldn't be necessary.

Of course, Nanny.
Thank you.

Better make sure you make them
sandwiches nice and exclusive.

No, it's my turn.
You had a chance.

It's my doll.
It's my turn to do it.

Oh hell.

Ah, good afternoon, Captain Tom.
Princess Harriet.

Nanny.

Chap of the mess just came
back from Paris last week.

Oh yes.

Said it's magnificent
at this time of year.

Only place in the world for people like us.

Like us, Captain Mason?

People have culture, Mrs. St. John.

Oh.

Harry, you are wicked.

Not as wicked as I'd like to be.

Arnold.

How do?

I'd rather you didn't.

Sarah spent ages untangling it.

Alright.

Arnold,

I have to get ready to go out.

Get your boots off the table.
Sorry.

It's what the devil sees.

The only time you put your
boots on the table

are when they lay out a
dead man wearing them.

Put your feet in that.
Stops sores.

So, did you get the job?

Yes I did.
That's good.

And I can't take it.
Why not?

I just can't
Your job is not good enough for you?

Oh, Mrs. Bronowski, there is so
much you don't know.

Don't count on it.

You think I'm stupid

You think I take a girl alone with
a baby in my house

and not know various troubles somewhere?

You think I don't go through your things?

You think there's nothing
worse in the world

than forging a stupid letter.

I nearly got found out today.

One of the houses knew my last employer,
threatened to Telegraph them.

Did they call the Police?

No, no I grabbed the letter ran as I could.

So, what story?

But you said you did get a job?

18 pounds a year looking after
someone else's kids as a nursemaid.

The Queen of Sheba cannot
look after a couple of kids.

It's living in, Mrs. B.
I can't, not with Billy.

Queen of Sheba is too mean to pay
sixpence a week for his keep here.

I won't leave him.

I've not come all this way
to abandon him now.

Then get out of my
house, both of you.

What?

You know why I took you in
for stupid shilling a week?

Because I look at you and I see me.

I see a woman who don't give up.

For that, you got respect.

For that you got get fresh air
to keep you walking for jobs.

Keep you lucky.

I had a baby once.

What?

In famine,

Every day, I would walk
from Dansk ten miles

to take potatoes left in fields.

Eat some, sell some.

Steal a little milk.
Steal an egg.

Every day, hide my baby in the woods.

Every night, come back for him.

What happened?

Cossacks found him.

I didn't have no Mrs. Bronowski
to look after me.

Shall I order a supper tray
to Madam's room later, sir?

No, thank you.

Mrs. St. John will probably go
on to dine after the theater.

Very good, sir.

God almighty.

Mrs. McClusky?

Sorry to bother you so late.

Could I have a word?

What about?

About the way we work together.

Look, I really don't like
the idea of the household

and the nursery being at
odds with each other.

Neither do I.

I realize that you may have had problems
with other nannies in past but

I'm in the house now

and let me assure you I'm gonna stay and
do the best job a possibly can.

Right.

It means all it requires is that you
and I are straightforward and honest

about what we want and expect
from each other.

Can do that, can't we?

Course we can, Nanny.

I appreciate your coming down to say it.
I do, really.

Thank you.

Well, I'll say good night then.
Good night.

Hello Mama.