Bergerac (1981–1991): Season 5, Episode 9 - Treasure Hunt - full transcript

Come along.

(MAN WHISTLING)

Business. Come along, business now.

(SPEAKER CRACKLING)

About time, too.

Come on, you lazy sod! What you up to?

Oi, Tony. Come on!

Oh, that's...

Tony. Tone!

You bastard. You bastard!

VICAR: Man born of a woman
has but a short time to live.



Like a flower,
he blossoms and then withers.

Like a shadow,
he flees and never stirs.

In the midst of life, we are in death.
To whom can we turn for help

but to you, Lord,
who are justly angered by our sins?

We have entrusted our brother,
Anthony Benjamin Bragg,

to God's merciful keeping.

And we now commit his body
to be cremated.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes
and dust to dust.

In sure and certain hope
of the resurrection to eternal life

through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died,
was buried and rose again for us.

To him be glory forever and ever.

May God, in His infinite love and mercy,
bring the whole church,

living and departed in the Lord Jesus,
to a joyful resurrection

and the fulfilment of
His eternal kingdom. Amen.



- Mrs Bragg...
- Oh, bloody hell.

Haven't you got any feelings?
Can't you see the state she's in?

Mrs Bragg, you remember me?

Detective Inspector Petch.

Oh, yeah. I remember.

I just want to ask you a few questions.

We just seen him off, for God's sake.

- Why don't you button your lip, Ormond?
- I don't know.

Why don't you dress up as a hedgehog
and go crawl across a motorway?

- Look, Ormond...
- Shut up, Grieve.

Listen, you do want to get
whoever's behind all this, don't you?

Hmm? Both of you?

Just want to ask a few questions,
that's all.

(ALARM BUZZING)

Number three, Mr Ormond's place.

(ALARM RINGING)

He won't be in the cupboard,
for God's sake.

Matty, tun that bloody noise off.

(ALARM STOPS)

Nobody's touched this.

- Yeah, well, go and look outside.
- Right.

Vince, down here! Quick!

Found this on the stairs. They must've
panicked when the alarm went off.

Get after them!

You really don't know any more?

No, I don't.

You do, though, don't you, Ormond?
You know all about it.

Do I?

We could do you for it, you know.
We've got a witness.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She saw me ringing the bell, didn't she?

I suppose you theory is
I went on pressing it

till the sound drove him mad and
he threw himself out the window.

Sorry. Sorry, sorry, darling.

- Come on, Grieve.
- Look, guv...

I said come on.

If either of you...

Either of you come up with something
we ought to know, don't be coy about it.

They haven't got a clue.

No, but you have, though,
haven't you, Greg?

You know all about it.

(CAR PULLING UP OUTSIDE)

(CHUCKLING)

They can't have touched anything,
Mr Ormond.

- Are you sure?
- Didn't really get beyond the door, sir.

- Did you call the police?
- No.

- No, well, it didn't seem necessary...
- Right. I'll go right up.

- Should I come with you, sir?
- No, no. Just leave it with me.

Philippa Vale.

You are a clever little madam, you are.

I got you a platform ticket.
It's on number seven.

I've got about three minutes
to catch this train.

- Hey, hey, hey!
- Oh, Options. Good.

It seemed rather apt
in the circumstances.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- It doesn't mean anything.

Good. Come on, then. Can you manage?

Do you really need all this
for two weeks' stay at your aunty's?

I'm not going to stay in every night
and play Scrabble, you know.

- I didn't imagine you would, somehow.
- Oh, don't start.

I'm not starting anything.

You really can't forget about it,
can you?

Forget about what?

You know damn well what.
God, men are pathetic!

Men are pathetic?

(HUMMING)

You see why...
You see why I need to get away?

You see why I need to be alone?

Well, no, I don't.

Because you won't
talk about me and Eric.

- Oh, no.
- You say you've forgotten all about it

then you niggle away at it.

Which means you can't see straight,
so I can't eit...

Oh, Jim. I'm going away for two weeks.
Can we talk about it when I get back?

- Give me the case.
- No, let me. I'm not entirely redundant.

Idiot.

Jim, it's just that I need some space.
We both do.

Excuse me.

(LAUGHING)

PHILIPPA: Have I passed?

Ten out of ten. As usual, Philippa.

Ah. Not to be opened
till you get to Jersey.

Take care of yourself, Sergeant.

I love you.

Two weeks.
We'll talk about it in two weeks.

New Scotland Yard, please.

Sorry, MI16!

You're never going to believe this,
but follow that cab.

PETCH: You ever seen him before?

- No.
- You sure?

- Yes, I'm sure.
- I thought I'd ask.

You do know where it is, don't you?

Yeah. It's Jersey, St Helier. That's
Elizabeth Castle in the background.

What is all this?

The man in the photograph is Tony Bragg.
He is, or was,

one of the smoothest operating fences
in the Metropolitan area.

- What do you mean, was?
- He died a couple of weeks ago.

He took a dive
from a fourth floor window,

splattered all over the pavement.

Liver please, love. Not too well done.
I like it bloody.

I don't know if you know,

but a week before that
there was big diamond heist over here.

- Chips and peas, please.
- Yeah, the Edgley Rugg robbery.

We do get the newspapers in Jersey.
Some of us even read them.

Fifteen million quid's worth, right?
Give or take the odd 20p.

- Yeah.
- No, thanks.

I'll get it.

We had a list of possibles
for that little caper.

And high on the list was
a chappy called Gregory Ormond.

Do you know him?

No, sorry.

Ormond's a well-known thief.
What we also know is that

he always used his best mate Tony Bragg
to shift the stuff for him.

Not too hard
to follow the story so far, is it?

No, thanks. Not too difficult.

If Ormond did lift the stuff
and handed it to Bragg,

who's got it now?

- Presumably whoever killed Bragg.
- That's what we thought at first.

But these photographs
were found in Bragg's flat,

together with an entrance ticket
to your Elizabeth Castle,

dated the day before he hit the Tarmac.

Yeah, but hang on, has this
bloke Ormond actually admitted to...

Gregory Ormond wouldn't admit to
having five toes on each foot,

not if you showed him
photographic evidence.

Ah, Mr Rockwell.

Hello, Dave, I've been looking for you.
Got any joy for me?

Not yet, Mr Rockwell. No.
I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

I should bloody well hope you were,
my son.

No, I mean, right now I'm working on it.

This is Detective Sergeant Bergerac
from the Jersey police.

Oh, good. Nice to meet you, Sergeant.

Mr Rockwell is only Director
of Rockfirm High Securities.

You've probably seen him on the box.

Up to six months ago,
it was Chief Superintendent Rockwell.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, of course, yeah.

Which is why I'm allowed
to come poking my nose in

where I've absolutely no business
and make young Dave's life hell for it.

Rockfirm? You were handling the security
for the diamonds, weren't you?

Oh, be nice. Don't rub it in.

Let's just say, through Dave may be
anxious to secure those sparklers

to advance his shining career,

I have personal reasons for
wanting them twice as badly.

So, what were you lads chatting about?

He was telling me that Bragg had gone
to the island the day before he died.

Yeah, that's right. And his widow told
us that he'd been over there on his todd

the week before the robbery.

The next visit
he took his missus with him.

- What did they do?
- Well, this is it.

She says that apart from
a few minutes taking holiday snaps,

he was hardly with her.

He dumped her in a café and
she didn't see him for over an hour.

So he went over once to fix up a deal

and he went a second time
to actually hand over the stones,

presumably in Elizabeth Castle.

That's the way we figure it, yeah.

But if he'd actually
handed over the stones,

then what was the point in killing him?

That, my son,
is the £15 million question.

ROCKWELL: And it's not only the villain
who's laughing himself silly,

the press are having a field day.

Rockwell of the Yard,
terror of the criminal fraternity.

Five minutes out in the real world,
he's just another mug

with half the English Channel
behind his ears.

- Well, we'll do our best.
- Yes, you do that. And, Jim...

This is one advantage
of being a civilian.

I want you to pass it on
that there's a reward

for anyone coming up with information

leading to the recovery of those stones.

Fifty thousand green ones.
No questions asked.

(WHISTLES)

You really do want those diamonds back,
don't you?

I really want them back.

- Oh, Sergeant Bergerac?
- Yeah, that's right.

Your young lady says to tell you
she'll meet you at St Paul's.

- My what?
- The Whispering Gallery, 3:00.

She said she'll wait for you there.

Hang on. What young lady was this?

Well, tall, blonde...

She knew you were here.
I thought you'd know all about it.

Sounds irresistible, Jim.
Don't let me keep you.

PHILIPPA: About time, too,
Sergeant dear.

I was beginning to think
they were holding you against your will.

(FAINTLY) You really did walk
right into the Scotland Yard?

I can't hear you.

I say, you haven't lost your nerve,
walking right into the Yard like that.

You know these
decadent city coppers, James.

If I'd had a placard around my neck
saying "Wanted, Jewel Thief",

I'd probably have been even safer.

Sorry to go all coy at King's Cross

but I didn't know whether you might be
suffering from an excess

of professional zeal
so I thought I'd arrange a little tryst

where there was a certain amount of
distance between us.

So, how have been keeping in yourself,
James dear?

Eh?

Please, I'm glad we an into each other.
My conscience has been bothering me.

Your conscience!

Anyway, James, the point is

I'm involved in a little game which
seems to be taking me to Jersey.

Philippa, what exactly
are you playing at?

Oh, I'm not playing at anything,
Sergeant dear,

- I'm just giving you fair warning.
- Mmm-hmm.

Without, of course, giving me a clue
as to what any of this is about, eh?

All right. Here's a clue.

I don't think Nelly
would've been pleased about this.

That's good enough. Your mission, Jim,
should you choose to accept it,

is to solve the clue
and head me off at the pass.

Watch out. This gallery will
self-destruct in five minutes.

Philippa, I know you enjoy
playing your little games,

and I'm the last person
to spoil your fun,

but you're going to get
a nasty crick in your neck

if you have to spend the rest
of your life looking over your shoulder.

Now, you did help me catch a couple
of villains so if you jack it in now,

all you'll get is a suspended sentence

and probably an award
from the humane society.

Philippa?

The Edgley Rugg diamonds.

I suppose if we do come up
with something, the Met will contrive

to cover themselves with glory
while conveniently forgetting

that we had anything
to do with it at all.

All right, I'll get on with it.
Circulate posters, photos.

- Susan get away all right?
- Yes, yes, she did. Thanks.

Good.

- Barney, could I ask you a question?
- Sure.

You and Alice have been together now,
what, how long is it?

Fifteen years this July.

And you're happy, are you?

Pretty happy, yes.
I'm certainly not complaining.

So, what's the secret?

Oh, well...

You can't really put your finger
on these things, can you? Not exactly.

- It's largely a matter of attitude, Jim.
- How do you mean, attitude?

Well, expectation really.

Less of the starry-eyed romanticism,

more accepting each other
as you really are.

Then thee's common interest, too.
Things you like to do together.

- With us it's the planes.
- The planes?

Yes, you know, my model aeroplanes.

- Well, I thought Alice hated them.
- Oh, that was years ago.

I build them, Alice helps me sometimes.

Paints on the insignia,
that sort of thing,

and we fly them together
at weekends when we can.

Yeah, well, can't see me and Susan
doing that somehow.

Well, everybody to their own thing.
It's the principle that counts.

Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, Barney.

- Door's always open.
- Oh, there's one more thing.

Um, does the name Nelly
mean anything to you?

Are you being funny?

No, it's something
to do with the island.

It's in a crossword puzzle I'm doing.

I didn't know you went in
for crossword puzzles.

Yeah. But does it mean anything?

No. The only Nelly I can think of is
Nellie Bligh, comes in the song.

Okay, thanks.

Nelly?

Yeah, it's this crossword I'm doing,
it's all about the island

and one of the clues is,

"I don't think Nelly
would've been pleased about this."

Sorry, doesn't mean a thing to me.

- Wouldn't be Nellie Dean, would it?
- What, you mean the song?

- No, I don't think so, Peggy.
- Sorry, best I can do.

I know a song about a Nelly.

- Yeah, I bet you do.
- No, no. It's dead clean, honest!

- Hmm-hmm.
- It is clean!

You know! The one where
she ties herself to the bell clapper

- and then gets battered to death.
- Yeah, thank you, Terry.

# Hang on the bell
Nelly, hang on the bell

# Your poor father's locked
in a cold prison cell

Thank you, Terry.

# As you swing to the left, Nelly
Swing to the right

# Remember that the curfew bell
must never ring tonight... #

# And the waters as they flow

# Seem to murmur sweet and low

# You're my heart's desire

# I love you

# Nellie Dean

# Sweet Nellie Dean #

# Ain't gonna give you no sweet talk

# Ain't gonna give you no lie

# But I saw your Johnnie an hour ago

# Making love to Nellie Bligh

# He is your man
and he's doing you wrong #

Gregory, I don't wish
to blow my own trumpet,

but if you can get yourself to Jersey
this evening,

you might learn something
to your advantage.

I'm sure that there are very few
who are unaware

that King Charles II,
or should I say, Prince Charles,

lived in that very fort

all through the summer of 1646.

Now, we're told it became integral
with the outer ward in 1668.

But my theory, and a rather
controversial theory at that,

I must confess.

My theory is that work on
the process of integration

may well have begun
as early as the late autumn of...

(STAMMERING) Of 1667.

You may ask,

you may well ask,
what grounds are there for this theory?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have,
in my not inconsiderable collection

of memorabilia, a bill of purchase.

This bill bears the seal
of Roger de Beaufort,

the then warden of the castle.

And refers specifically
to the sale of...

(STUTTERING) Of, and I quote,

"12 chains of well-seasoned timber

"to be used in the work
being at this moment carried out

"in the outer ward."

Now, ladies...

Thank you, Raymond,
for that fascinating exposition.

If you look behind you,
ladies and gentlemen,

you'll find something that is every bit

as materially nourishing as Raymond's
lecture was intellectually nourishing,

but with more...

Even more variety.

What did you think of that, then?

Well, hardly the most riveting
40 minutes I've ever spent.

No, no, no. Poor old Raymond
could bore for Britain, I'm afraid.

Still, business is business.

What, do you mean
this is a business outing?

Well, in a way, yes. Tourist business.
I'm on the Tourism Committee, you see.

Every year we have some sort of a theme.
Last year it was Sun and Sand.

Well, this year it's Jersey history.

Look, you better come and have a word
with old Raymond.

Oh, I can hardly wait.

Raymond. Top old lecture.

Oh, did you think so?
I didn't go on too long, did I?

No, I thought you judged it just right.

I see you've got
all the stuff together, then.

It isn't stuff, Charles.
They're valuable historical exhibits.

I had to use all my influence
with the curator

to get him to agree to their removal.

I trust you'll see to it that
they remain undamaged.

Now, don't you worry, Raymond.

I'm personally supervising the move
first thing in the morning.

And I can assure you everything
will be replaced in apple pie condition.

- Chalie, I'm...
- You see, tomorrow

is the annual
Commemoration Day Garden Party.

It's a highlight of
the Jersey social calendar,

all the press and television
will be there,

so I thought it'd be wonderful publicity
if we could have all this junk...

All these beautiful artefacts

spread out in the background,
so to speak.

Garden party? That sounds very exciting.

- Would you excuse me just a moment?
- Oh, yes, of couse.

- Funny lot, you know, they are.
- Who are?

Well, the Jersey Historical Society.

They've all got their own private little
collections of historical doo-dahs.

They're always trying to get one up on
each other, like a bunch of kids really.

Who was the man who stood up at the end?

Simeon? Simeon Fox.

What's this, Charles?
Do I hear my name being taken in vain?

No, Miranda was just wondering
who the silver-haired gentleman

with the fruity voice was.
Miranda Bassett, Simeon Fox.

- Good evening, my dear.
- How do you do?

- Tell me, how do you like the champagne?
- Oh, I haven't tasted it yet.

- Simeon's in the wine trader, you see.
- Really?

Well, I don't exactly
sell it over the counter.

As a matter of fact,
I own a sizable vineyard,

among other things.

Really?

Have you ever tasted Jersey wine?

No, I... I haven't.

Oh, you must get Charles
to bring you over sometime.

I'll show you around
and you can try a glass.

- It's really quite drinkable.
- Miranda's an air hostess,

she's never in one place for more than
about five minutes at a time.

SIMEON: Really? Well, I wonder...
CHARLIE: Hey, Simeon.

Charles?

That woman talking to Raymond,
who is she?

I've absolutely no idea.
Not your type, surely, Charles.

No, it's not that.
I'm sure I've seen her before somewhere.

Why on earth shouldn't you have?

No, but I mean, I'm sure I've met her
somewhere and I can't...

There's old Cyril, he'll know.
Hey, Cyril, come hee.

Cyril, look, that... That woman
talking to Raymond, who was she?

She's a Mrs Rinehart.
The widow of some American oilman.

Only just met this minute.

Apparently, she's thinking of
shifting her assets over here

and wants some advice on our tax laws.

Which I'm sure you would be
only too delighted to give her.

Where did Raymond find her?

It seems she strolled into his bank
this afternoon and opened an account.

Apparently, she was desperately
taken with the island

and wanted to know all about it,
so Raymond asked her along tonight.

Well, they seem to be
getting along very well.

From what I could gather,
she must be worth at least 10 million.

What a man you are, Cyril!
A lovely woman like that

and all you can think of
is the size of her bank balance.

Beauty is transitory, Simeon.

It's the eternal values that concern me.

Hey, Cyril, that sounded
dangerously like a joke.

Good night, Charles.

Good night, Raymond.
Most enjoyable.

Nelly wouldn't have
been pleased about this.

(LAUGHS)

- Charlie, I said a small one.
- Well, it is only a small one.

I'm supposed to be flying
at 9:00 tomorrow.

I'll hardly be able to
keep my eyes open.

Cheers.

(CHARLIE CLEARS THROAT)

- Hey, well now... What's the matter?
- Oh!

Your hands, they're like ice.

Sorry. It must've been
off these glasses.

- Look, Charlie...
- Ice!

What?

My God, ice!

(PHONE RINGING)

- Bergerac.
- Jim?

- Hello, Charlie, what do you want?
- Philippa Vale, your Ice Maiden.

She's on the island pretending to be
an American woman called Rinehart.

- What?
- I've just seen her with a black wig on.

She were getting into a car
with Raymond Charteris,

I think they were
going back to his place.

Oh, and Jim...

Jim, try and hang on to her
this time, eh?

(CHARLIE LAUGHING)

Miranda?

Miranda?

The flight, Charlie.
I really ought to be getting home.

Oh, no, don't go yet, love.
I mean, the night is young.

Well, look, at least
finish your drink before you go.

It's been a very long and very full day.
Thank you.

Miranda?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- MAN: Yes?
- Good evening, I'm Sergeant Bergerac

from the Bureau des Étrangers.
Could I speak to Mr Charteris, please?

MAN: I am afraid he has retired
for the night.

Yeah, well, I'm very sorry
but it is rather urgent.

I have reason to believe that a robbery
might take place or has already taken...

- Look, will you just get Charteris?
- Very well, I'll see what he says.

- Obrigado.
- And you, too.

JIM: What are you playing at, Philippa?

What's your little game, eh?

Ah, Mr Charteris,
I'm sorry to bother you.

I understand you spent part of
the evening with a Mrs Rinehart?

Well, yes.

She attended my lecture. After that
she came back here for a brief drink

- and a business chat.
- She's not still here, is she?

Really, Sergeant, I am a bachelor but...

She left by taxi more than an hour ago.
Good night, Leao.

Having made certain
she knew the way back.

What on earth are you talking about?

I'm afraid, sir, she's been identified
as a jewel thief.

- A jewel thief?
- An extremely clever one.

Sergeant, I've already said
that I'm a bachelor

so you can hardly imagine
that I have any...

Unless...

As you probably know, Sergeant,

I'm president of
the Jersey Historical Society.

- No, actually...
- We collect memorabilia, artefacts,

works of art and so forth.

My own collection is, of course,
the most extensive.

Is it really?

I suppose one or two items might be
of interest to a jewel thief.

Mr Charteris, what was in that case?

God!

The medallions.

- It's a bit heavy, isn't it?
- What?

Well, calling out the whole gang,
especially when we know who did it.

Well, he's a very important man, Barry.

I know 'cause he spent
the last 10 minutes telling me so.

Sergeant Bergerac,
over here a moment, would you?

Look busy, for God's sake.

Sergeant, your Chief Inspector has been
telling me that you've had dealings

- with this woman on several occasions.
- Yes, sir, I have.

Leaving aside the unfortunate fact
that she remains at liberty,

he also tells me that she makes
a speciality of stealing diamonds.

Yes, yes. She does.

Then why on eath
does she want my medallions?

I've got no idea.
What exactly were these medallions?

- You mean you don't know?
- No.

Really, Sergeant, surely you know about
the Charles II medallions?

Charles II spent many months in Jersey
after his father's execution.

During that time he became attracted to
a local young woman.

He had these two identical medallions
especially made. He gave one to her

and swore to wear the other next to
his heart for the rest of his life.

Did the trick, did it?

History doesn't record
one way or the other, Sergeant.

What we do know is he left his medallion
behind when he quit the island,

which is how I come
to be in possession of both of them.

Hang on. This Charles II,
didn't he knock around with Nell Gwyn?

Among other accomplishments, yes.

Oh, I see. Nelly.

I beg your pardon?

Nothing, Mr Charteris. Something
I'll discuss with Bergerac later.

CROZIER: Crossword puzzle, my arse.

If I had told you,
you wouldn't have known what it meant.

That's not the point.
I could've put out a trace.

You've tried that before, haven't you?

Yes, and you've tried this before.

Listen, every time you get involved
with that bloody woman

something comes unstuck in your head.

You lose all your common sense,
your priorities, your professionalism...

Listen, listen.

The last time I got involved
with this bloody woman,

we got a couple of murders and
a gang of fascist thugs. That bad?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- You ordered champagne, sir?
- So I did.

And something else.

"Sergeant dear, it should be easier
for you now you get the general idea.

"But en garde, the point of this clue

"appears on closer study
to be self-contained."

What the hell's that mean?

Well, don't look at me.

- You know as much as I do.
- Do I?

I see you brought your mascot with you.
Sentimental souvenir?

A friend gave it to me.

- Yeah.
- Do I know her?

It was a him.
No jokes, Philippa, all right?

Anyway, it's got nothing to do
with the business in hand.

Right.

Yes, it's a pity about
that pet sergeant of yous turning up.

Could make things very, very awkward.

Still, there's no way he can work out
what's actually going on.

Is there?

Oh, absolutely not.

Oh. Hello, Jim.

- Couldn't you sleep?
- Not a wink.

- You're pretty early yourself.
- Actually, I'm taking the day off.

I've only come in to water the plants.

It's the day of the big garden party,
so I've got to rush to the hairdresses.

Oh, yeah, the party.
Is Charlie taking you?

No.

We are just good friends, Jim.

- Stop trying to read more into it.
- Sorry.

Your trouble is
you're just a romantic at heart.

- You think so?
- Oh, by the way, I meant to say,

that crossword clue of yours.

Couldn't be anything to do
with Charles II, could it?

I was thinking the only other Nelly
I can think of is Nell Gwyn.

Charles II did stay here
for a while, you know.

- Oh, well, just an idea.
- Well, hang on, Peggy.

Got another one for you.

Try this one.

"En garde.

"The point of this clue
appears on close study

"to be self-contained."

Same puzzle, is it?

Yes, it's got something
to do with the island.

Historical relics in a private
collection, something like that.

Hmm.

Of course, you really need to talk
to somebody in the Société Jersiaise.

Not the Jersey Historical Society?

(SCOFFING) Jersey Historical Society!

- Doesn't mean a thing.
- Really?

They have no official status whatsoever.

Just a bunch of amateurs
with overinflated egos

and too much money to spend.

Buying up artefacts that ought,
by rights, to be in the public domain.

Yes, I am being bitchy.

So you're the people to come to if
we want the real information, are you?

- We like to think so.
- Oh.

See if you can make sense of this,
will you? There you go.

I'm not a cryptographer, you know.

No. But I think it refers to some sort
of historical artefact.

Like poo Mr Charteris' medallion?

- Yes, something of the sort. Yeah.
- Mmm.

Oh, yes, I see.

Yes, that's really rather clever,
misspelt of course.

What is?

Self-contained, like it says.
The clue is actually in the sentence.

"Appears on close study."

"Pears on."

Peirson.

Oh, right. Major Peirson.

Exactly. The gallant Major.

Hero of the Battle of Jersey, 1781.

The man who led the British troops
against the French invaders

and died bravely, if somewhat
unnecessarily, in the process.

You don't seem convinced.

No, it's not that.
But I still don't see...

Judging by all the "en gardes"
and "points" and so on,

I imagine it might be
refering to Pierson's sword?

Especially as it is now the exclusive
property of a member of your precious

Jersey Historical Society.

- Which member?
- Clavering, Cyril Clavering.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Where are you going?
- What? I'm going to Clavering's house.

Sergeant, don't you know what day it is?

Commemoration Day.
Battle of Jersey.

Oh, yeah.

It's the day when some local bigwig
always gives a bash

for all the other local bigwigs.

Second only in exclusiveness
to the Governor's levee.

This year it's...
Yes, Sir Roger Carfax.

That's where
Major Pierson's sword is today,

on display, like it is every year.

Well, it seems to be proving
pretty popular, Charlie.

It's a pity we couldn't have it outside,
though, where all the cameras are.

But I suppose if it had rained,
half this lot would have got ruined.

Actually, I wouldn't mind
a bit of fresh air myself.

Fair enough. And a good strong drink's
more to the point!

There you are, my dear.

I make you a present of St Helier.

But I wanted some roulade, darling.

What are you doing here, young lady?

I thought you were supposed
to be flying today.

Oh, I was. But when Charlie invited me
to the garden party I couldn't resist.

- I changed flights with a girlfiend.
- How do you manage it, Charles?

She wouldn't change flights
to visit my humble vineyard.

I'm free tomorrow.

It was a bit of luck, eh,
me recognising Philippa Vale?

They almost caught her, you know.

Yes. A pity you couldn't have jogged
your brain cells

into action a little sooner, Charles.

Eh?

It's a terrible thing,
the aging process.

You what?

I mean, she might have been
languishing behind bars now.

Instead of which
she's probably got her beady eyes

on Cyril's precious sword
at this very moment.

- What? You don't think that she...
- Oh, calm down, Cyril.

She's hardly likely to show
her face here.

(CHUCKLING) You got him worried, eh?

For God's sake, I can't descend
on the Commemoration Day party

with the entire force in uniform.

JIM: And you said
I wasn't trying to catch her.

All right. Meet me
at the main gates in half an hour.

I'll try and bring a couple of
presentable backups if I can find any.

And listen, don't do anything
until I get there.

What is the matter with this thing?

What about that?

- Are you doing anything at the moment?
- No, sir.

- You better come with me. Ken?
- I'm not doing anything.

No, it's all right, Terry.
Ken, you come with me.

Pity about that tie, though.
Come on.

At this point,
I'd perhaps better explain

for the benefit of those of you

who've never visited one
of our little get-togethers before.

And especially...

Hello, Charles.

Hello, Peggy.
What are you doing here?

Well, that's hardly flattering, Charlie.

Well, I'm soy, I didn't mean...

When Reggie was alive
we always used to come.

Sir Roger and he were
at school together.

CHARLIE: Oh, really?

Sir Roger was kind enough to see
that I got an invitation anyway.

Well, of course, yes.
I mean, quite right. Quite right.

Oh, this is Miranda Bassett,
a friend of mine.

- Hello.
- Hello. Nice to meet you.

And this is Peggy Masters,
another friend of mine.

Nice to meet you.

Because of course...

Well, I think we could all do
with a drink, don't you?

Love. Bring some drinks over here,
will you, please?

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

...and it took place
on January 6th, 1781...

Why, oh, why
do these peculiar people...

- Love, could you do me a favour?
- What?

Take some drinks to that group
round there.

That man with the cigar in the holder,
he's all hands.

I shan't be able to sit down for a week.

My pleasure, love.
I enjoy dealing with people like him.

...just shake your heads and mutter
something about local customs.

Talk about the weather.

Well, let me explain,
There is a reason...

- Your drinks, madam.
- PEGGY: Oh, thank you.

MIRANDA: Thank you.

(CHARLIE GROANING)

Oh, I'm so sorry!
Was that your foot, sir?

Hey!

...the snow halfway up your ankles,

and a North wind whistling down
the back of your neck?

I don't give a damn about invitations.

I'm Chief Inspector Crozier
of Bureau des Étrangers.

Now just kindly open these gates.

You two go and find Clavering.
I'll have a word with Sir Roger.

We may do things a little cockeyed
here on Jersey,

but I think
we have advantages nonetheless.

Jim? Who the devil let you in?

Hello, Charlie. Peggy.
Have you seen Clavering about?

Clavering? No, not for sometime...
Oh, talk of the devil. There he is.

After all, it was the French...

Excuse me, Peggy.

I like the make-up.

Why, thank you.

Beg your pardon.
Yeah, thanks, Charlie.

JIM: Mr Clavering.

Miss Vale, what a pleasant surprise.

Sergeant.

Sorry to barge in like this,
but you did invite me.

- Where is it?
- What?

The sword. It's gone! Where is it?

I'm sure Miss Vale
can help us out there.

Can't you, Philippa?

Yes, of couse, it's...there.

Ormond. Oh, my God.

- She's gone.
- Again.

We have contrived to keep at bay

most of the excesses
and unpleasantnesses

that keep the besetting
you who live on the mainland,

or indeed any part of the world
at large.

Football hooliganism,

rioting, violent crime,

thieves, in the main,
have passed us by.

JIM: Barney, stop her!

Here we live in relative
tranquillity and harmony...

Don't bother. Get after her, you idiot!

Get me out of here!

And respecting other people's rights
and property.

MAN: For God's sake...

MAN: Why are we all
running about chasing a waitress?

CROZIER: There she goes!

(PANTING)

- Where is she?
- She didn't come this way.

There's her dress. She must have used it
to cover the glass.

Give us a hand up here.

- Right?
- Right, go on.

- Hey, there's her wig.
- Get after her, then!

I want this whole bloody area
sealed off, right?

Right.

CROZIER: Oh, come on.

Okay.

(TOILET FLUSHING)

Susan, why didn't you tell me
you were coming home?

Hello, Sergeant dear.
I do hope your friend won't mind.

I must say, she has excellent taste.

But then, that was never really
in doubt, was it?

Philippa, I don't have a choice, do I?

- Sorry?
- Why in God's name did you come here?

I mean, it's not just a question
of jewels now, is it?

You do know what you're being
charged with, don't you?

- Murder, I imagine.
- If you're very lucky, manslaughter.

Maybe you panicked
when Ormond walked in...

Of course, I'm famous for my panicking.

Whatever happened,
I'm gonna have to turn you in.

No, James.
Greg Ormond was a friend of mine.

A very old, very dear friend of mine.

And if I'm caught, especially if I'm
found guilty, the case will be closed.

And whoever killed Greg will go walking
around your sweet little island

laughing himself sick.

Whereas, if you're a good boy,
and go make me a nice, hot toddy,

we could put our heads together
and I will tell you everything I know.

A hot toddy.

Sergeant dear, I just spent half a day
up a tree in nothing but my knickers.

And nanny always used to say
the only way to ward off a chill

was a nice hot bath
followed by a nice hot toddy.

And as I have already had the bath...

I cleaned it out after me, honestly.

Philippa, you give the word "cheek"
a whole new dimension.

The Edgley Rugg job, eh?

- You really didn't know about it?
- No.

No about poor old Tony Bragg.
So that's what it was all about.

- What did he tell you?
- Not a lot.

He spun me a stoy about a bunch of
Jersey businessmen who'd crossed him

and what fun it would be
to wipe the smug looks off their faces

by stealing their
precious little trinkets one by one.

Yes, I know it wasn't very plausible,
but I was bored, James.

I must admit I did think
there was a little more to it

when he made me carry out that test.

What test?

I had to break into his London flat
to steal a cow.

Not a real one. One of the souvenirs
you can buy all over Jersey.

Yeah. But the point is,
how do the Edgley Rugg diamonds

link up with a group of
respectable Jersey citizens

and a couple of historical artefacts?

Three.

What?

Theee artefacts.

King halie's little love token,
that rather batterred sword and...

And what? Oh, come on, Philippa.

One thing you can bank on,

whoever murdered your fiend and
framed you didn't do it out of pique.

The idea was to stop the thefts
continuing. Hmm?

That rather throws the spotlight

on the rest of you shopping list,
doesn't it? So who and what?

Sergeant dear, before we go on,
can I get something clear?

I am right in assuming
that I found a place

to lay my weary head for the night?

Don't worry,
your virtue will be perfectly safe.

Oddly enough, Philippa,
I wasn't thinking about that.

I'm not being fickle, you understand?

But this is the lady's own roof,
and breeding will tell, as they say.

Do you mind?
Can we not talk about Susan?

Now, what were you supposed to steal
and from whom?

Well...

what would you steal
from a wine merchant?

MIRANDA: That's incredible.

That, my dear, was found in
the knapsack of the Baron de Rullecourt,

a Frenchman who had delusions

that he could set himself up
as the governor of Jersey.

And got blown to pieces in the attempt.

I see.

It was vintage when he brought it here.

Two hundred years ago.

And now, my dear, perhaps we should take
a couple of bottles that are not unique

and adjourn upstairs.

Morning.

Oh, Barry, got something for you.

- Take a look at this.
- Thank you.

Nice of you to put in an appearance.

I spent the entire morning with half the
Metropolitan Police force around my neck

and to cap it all, I've got ex-Chief
Superintendent Rockwell in my office.

Rockwell?

Yes, still spitting blood
about his precious diamonds.

He could be useful to us.

You'd better come and see him,
hadn't you?

Bye.

Well, what the hell has
all this treasure hunt got to do

with the Edgley Rugg diamonds?

Wish I knew.

Until Ormond turned up dead,
I didn't know there was any connection.

I still don't see what it could be.

And I still can't buy Philippa Vale
as a murderess.

- Have you no ideas, Jim?
- No, not really.

The Jersey Historical Society
seems to be the link.

- So I'm checking the members.
- Yes, but only there of them.

I can understand Charteris and Clavering
but where does Simeon Fox come into it?

Well, he's a member, too.

A bit thin, isn't it?

Unless you know something you don't
want to share with the rest of us.

Like what?

Like definite information
that Simeon Fox

is on Philippa Vale's hit list.

In which case,
I can think of only one person

you could have got
that information from.

Look, Chief Inspector,
I have said it was only an idea.

I can assure you I have no more idea
where Philippa Vale is at this moment

than you have.

You better not have.

Yes, well, look. I'll get out
of your hair, Chief Inspector.

If I could just borrow Jim afterward
to dot a few i's for me.

Yes, of course, Mr Rockwell.

Just one minute.

Listen, if it ever does come out
that you have in any way

aided or abetted a fugitive
from a murder charge,

I warn you, you're finished.

I couldn't help you even if I wanted to.
And I wouldn't want to.

You and Philippa Vale, thee's some sort

of special relationship between you,
is there?

I don't know what you've been hearing,
Mr Rockwell,

but there is no special relationship
between me and Philippa Vale

that comes between me and
the proper perfomance of my duties.

All right. Now listen to me, Jim,
I'm going to say something to you.

You might think it a compliment,
you might not.

But I look at you
and I see myself 20 years ago.

A loner. Someone who's not afraid
to tear up the rulebook page by page

if it gets the job done because that's
the only thing that matters, right?

- Yeah. Suppose you're right.
- Right.

But you see, Jim,
everybody needs help sometime.

And if I were you, I think I might turn
to somebody who knows all the ropes

but is no longer bound to stick
to the rules. You undestand?

Yeah, I think I understand.

Because, you see, I need a holiday

and as this seems to be
a peaceful little island,

I thought I might find myself
a nice, quiet, little hotel somewhere

and book myself in for a few days.

Think that would be a good idea?

I think that'd be a very good idea,
Mr Rockwell. Thank you very much.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

(PHONE RINGING)

- James?
- Hello, Philippa.

I've had a very productive day,
Sergeant dear.

I've been casing Fox's place
and it's highly accessible.

Listen, Philippa, my Chief Inspector
knows that I've seen you.

- Oh, dear.
- He can't prove anything.

But he's made it pretty damn clear
that even the help I've given you

is enough for me
to kiss my career goodbye.

Oh, I see, So from now on
you'll be hunting with the hounds

like a good little copper?

If you really do want to win
Policeman of the Year award,

you'll know where to find me tonight,
won't you?

Must dash.

Philippa, what the hell
are you playing at?

I could have cut your throat
a dozen times over.

- I am watching the house.
- It's empty, I've already checked.

And dealt with the alarm and fixed
the lock on one of the front windows.

So, where's the posse?

There is no posse.

- You mean I'm not under arrest?
- No.

- Not until you come out.
- I see.

So for both our sakes,
I hope you find something in there.

I'll see what I can do.
Going to keep cave for me.

I must be mad.

Not you, James. But I'm not sure
about that girlfiend of yours

if she's really having trouble
making up her mind.

- Hey, Philippa...
- Didn't say a word.

(BIRD SQUAWKING)

Are you sure you're happy about making
an early night of it?

If I wasn't, I'd have said so.

Philippa!

Philippa!

- What are you doing here?
- Fox, he's come back.

- Turn out the lights.
- Come on.

Turn out the lights!

Right, my dear.

Any particular vintage
you favour this evening?

I'm in your hands, Simeon.

Just a minute. The door is unbolted.

- Well, perhaps you left it that way.
- Shh.

No, it's always bolted.
Just wait here a minute.

- Philippa, where are you?
- Over here.

- Where!
- Over here.

Oh! James, you do have the oddest
sense of timing.

JIM: Listen.

- I'm gonna have to talk to him.
- Up to you, Sergeant dear.

But if they're gonna be annoyed with you
just for keeping me hidden,

what will they do to you
for abetting me in a felony?

And that's assuming you won't be walking
straight into the hands of a murderer.

Simeon!

It doesn't do to take any chances.

Don't worry, my dear.

I'll take care of this.

Simeon?

Are you there, Simeon?

SIMEON: What is it?

I'm not exactly crazy about
staying up here all by myself.

All right, my dear, I'm coming.

I suppose it's just possible
I did leave them unlocked.

Make sure now.

- You still here, Peggy?
- The telephone hasn't stopped ringing.

That was Radio Jersey,
would you believe?

- Has he rung?
- Who?

- Jim.
- No. No, he hasn't.

Bloody sure he knows something we don't.

Oh, no. He's probably
as much in the dark as we are.

With a bit of luck,
this won't reach to the door.

Isn't it romantic?

You're gonna have to wait
for your gypsy violins.

- Where're you going?
- I'm gonna look in that cupboard.

Bring the torch, would you?

I don't believe I'm doing this.

Go on, you're loving it.

Here we are. What do you think?

I think that was a very old,

very are and very valuable
bottle of wine,

which I can quite see Ormond wanting
to steal and Fox wanting to keep.

But not to the point
of committing a murder.

- There's nothing else in there.
- Mmm?

- No, nothing.
- Maybe we ought to open it.

No! I don't think we ought to open it.

We'll just have to open
one of the others, then.

No...

James, we're locked in here.
We've got to do something.

(PHONE RINGING)

It's gorgeous.

No thanks.

No, of course, you don't drink, do you?

James, this has put
the kibosh on my plan.

What plan was that?

I was going to fill you
full of fine old vintages

and then take advantage
of your helpless state.

- That's your technique, is it?
- Invariably.

Must be a bit difficult,

judging the fine line
between helpless and hopeless, eh?

- Now I really do have a problem.
- What's that?

Well, you being such
a sweet, old-fashioned gentleman,

if I sit here and polish off this bottle
all by myself,

I'll be the one in the helpless state,
and you wouldn't dream of

- taking advantage of me, right?
- Right.

So, do I run the risk of
a long, cold, lonely night of sobriety,

constantly buoyed up by the expectation

that your iron self-control will crack
before dawn's rosy fingers, etcetera.

Or do I cut my losses
and drink myself into an abandoned

but carnally virtuous stupor?

- You do have a problem, don't you?
- I do.

- I wish I could help you with it.
- James...

What am I doing here, eh?

You're carrying out
an investigation, Sergeant.

Isn't that what all good policemen do?
Investigate?

(PHONE RINGING)

You don't know what you're missing.

I don't feel as if
I'm missing anything at the moment.

- Not even a cigarette?
- No.

Just the one vice?

At the risk of making you
big-headed, Sergeant dear,

you're a great advertisement
for the virtues of specialisation.

- What's the matter, guilty conscience?
- No, no, no, no.

Don't think so.

No, I was thinking about tomorrow.

Don't worry, James, they don't hang
people for murder any more, do they?

Not even on Jersey.

But they do put them away
for a very long time.

Are you sure there's
nothing you've forgotten?

Something that Ormond said or did.

I've been over it and over it,
I just don't know.

The answer must lie somewhere
in the things themselves, mustn't it?

- I suppose so.
- So what have we got?

- A bottle of wine, a sword, a medallion.
- Two medallions.

No, one.

- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure.

Though funnily enough, it did look
as though they were supposed to be two.

They were two. It's common knowledge.

Charteris said
that you took both of them.

Why on earth would he...

- Got to get out of this bloody place.
- Oh, that's no problem.

What?

There's a hatchway back there
leading to the stable yard.

The bolts are on the inside
and I could have the lock open...

in ten minutes.

- Terry.
- Yeah?

You seen these before?

How do you mean?

They're Charteris' medallions,
aren't they?

Yeah, but have you ever
seen them in another context?

Don't think so.

- Should I have?
- Well, I have.

I just can't...

Oh, bloody hell!

Peggy, those photos I brought back
from the Met, you got any copies?

Em, yes. There's some in the...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bingo!

- Terry?
- Yeah?

- Follow him.
- Why?

- Follow him and see where he goes.
- Oh, come on.

That's an order,
Detective Constable Wilson.

Yes, sir.

Yes, Peggy. Something bothering you?

It's just off the coast road, all right?

The Secret Garden?
I'll be right there.

You really think you've cracked it,
do you?

That's what I want you to tell me.

He's holding one of those
cow things I was telling you about,

so he must at least
have done some shopping.

What's he got around his neck?

It's a medallion.
The one I took from Charteris.

No, the one you didn't take
from Charteris.

Try this on for size.

Bragg makes Raymond Charteris
a once-in-a-lifetime offer.

15 million quid's worth of diamonds.

Now, Charteris is greedy, he's tempted,
but he's also very nervous.

He can't afford to get caught taking
hot diamonds from a known fence.

So Bragg works out a way
of handing over the diamonds

without them seeing each other.

Well, Miss Vale, I always thought
our paths might cross one day.

But I never thought it would be
over a cosy cup of tea.

Yes, I can't say I'm sorry
we've postponed this moment

until you were enjoying
you well-earned retirement.

Oh, by the way, Jim,
did you know you've got company?

Big lad with a moustache. He was
hanging around the office yesterday.

Who, Terry? What the... Oh, it's Barney.
He's told him to tail me.

Excuse me, sir. Your friends thought
you might like a cup of tea.

That will be 1.75.

But I still don't see
where the medallions fit in.

I think I do. Bragg's no fool.

He's not going to tell Charteris
exactly where the stones are

till the agreed sum has been
paid into his bank account.

So the deal is, he hides the stones,

presumably somewhere
at Elizabeth Castle,

and leaves written instructions
with somebody here in Jersey

as to their precise location.

Then he goes home,
rings Charteris and says,

"Right, the stuff's on the island.

"As soon as I get my cheque,
I'll tell you who to contact."

- What about the medallions?
- Well, they're like an ID card.

Bragg's got one. Charteris has got one.

Bragg leaves his with whoever and says,
"Only hand these instructions

"to whoever has the matching medallion."

James, that's awfully clever.

Have you ever thought of doing
this sort of thing professionally?

Yeah. Only Bragg gets himself killed.

So Charteris has the ID card
that would supply the missing link,

but the poor sod doesn't know
where to take it.

The only trouble is,
how am I going to prove all this?

I can't go to Barney.
The mood he's in at the moment,

all he'd do is kick me
out of the force so fast

you wouldn't see his foot move.

I was just thinking, this Charteris,
he's an amateur, right?

- Yeah.
- And a pretty flabby amateur at that.

Yeah.

Sergeant Bergerac is here
to see you, sir.

- Really? What does he want?
- He didn't say.

Oops! Sorry.

Sorry to disturb you
at home, Mr Charteris.

That's all right, Sergeant.

I presume you have
some pressing reason for doing so.

That will be all, Leao.

Now then, Sergeant, I expect
you have some news for me.

Yes, in a sense. We seem to have
located one of your medallions.

- One of them?
- Yeah. Of course, when I say located...

- That is your medallion, isn't it, sir?
- Well, it certainly looks like it.

Really. See, the funny thing is that
photograph was taken over a month ago.

- Was it?
- Yes.

Whereas according to you,
both these medallions

were in your possession
up until two nights ago.

How do you account for that?

Well, obviously, it can't be mine.
It must be a copy.

- Do you know the man in the photograph?
- Really, Sergeant, I don't choose

my acquaintance from among
the criminal fraternity.

I never said anything about
him being a criminal, Mr Charteris.

- Hello, Terry. It is Terry, isn't it?
- Yes, Mr Rockwell, sir.

- Just going to call in, were you?
- Yes, sir.

Well, I'd give it another
minute or two if I were you, son.

- May I go on with my story?
- If it amuses you.

Thank you very much.
So there you are with the medallion

but with no address to take it to.

Now Gregory Ormond turns up
on the scene.

Now, he's really rather angry. Partly
because he's been done out of his cut

of a rather brilliant daylight robbery,

but mainly because his best mate's
been thrown through a window.

Now, he doesn't know who's responsible
for that, but he does know

who's banking the diamonds.

He does know all about the medallions
because Tony Bragg told him so.

So he gets Philippa Vale
to steal yours for him.

And then he lets her go on with
a whole sting of unnecessary thefts

so that our attention,
and hers come to that, is off you.

So that he can make his move.
How am I doing?

It's no more or less ridiculous
than the rest of your fariy tale.

Oh, goody.

Then Ormond approaches you at the garden
party where nobody is expecting him.

And what, he makes you
some kind of offer, does he?

But you panicked,
didn't you, Mr Charteris? You panicked.

Picked up the sword, stuck it in him,
not even realising what you were doing.

Isn't that right?

Why don't you just admit it?

- What are you doing?
- I'm calling your superior officer.

It's 48123, extension 26.
And while you're at it,

could you ask him if he'd apply
for a warrant to search this place?

- To what purpose?
- Well, we didn't find the medallion

on Ormond's body,
it wasn't in his hotel bedroom.

I think you took it off him
after you killed him.

Which means it's probably tucked away
somewhere in this building.

You going to phone
my superior officer, or shall I do it?

No need to bother, Sergeant.
Tucked under his pillow.

Though I expect he'll say
the tooth fairy brought it.

Oh, panic, Mr Charteris.
Just like with Ormond.

I don't suppose
we could have proved a thing.

- You, give me that medallion.
- Whatever you say.

Very satisfactory state of affairs,
wouldn't you say?

Miss Va...

Philippa!

I really do think
I ought to call in now.

After all,
you don't have any official...

Philippa!

- Where is she?
- Who?

- You know damn well who. Where is she?
- We've not seen anyone, Jim.

Philippa!

- What the hell is going on?
- She's got the medallion. ome on.

- Terry, look after Charteris, will you?
- Eh?

He's in there. He killed Ormond.

- What about me car?
- Move!

Mr Charteris?

- He seems to be on the move now, sir.
- Terry, what is going on?

- Terry, what is your position?
- My position?

Well, I suppose one would have to say
on top of things generally.

Sweet of you to ask.

- Put out an all-units call.
- What exactly do I tell them, sir?

For God's sake...

Oh!

From Chief Inspector Crozier,
Bureau des Étrangers, to all units.

Look out for wanted person...

Help!

Help!

Oh, thank God, mate. Pass me
the phone, will you? I'm the police.

No. No, you no police.

Wait a minute. I am the police.
Hang on a minute!

Philippa Vale,
known jewel thief, 5' 6".

White, female, aged about 35.

Slight build, fair shoulder-length hair.

Driving stolen red Nova,
registration Juliet 324...

- Juliet 32477...
- That's Terry's car.

No confirmed sightings.

Philippa Vale, 5'6".
White female, aged about 35.

Slight build, fair,
shoulder-length hair.

I will strangle that woman
if it's the last thing I do.

We don't have to rush around
looking for her, do we?

Wherever she is now, we know where
she's going to end up eventually.

- Yes, miss?
- A friend of mine was in here

the other day,
he bought one of your lovely cows.

We sell dozens of those every day.
Dozens.

Yes, but I think he left
a message for me.

- A message?
- That's right.

Pretty, isn't it?

Satisfied? They couldn't be
more similar.

- He didn't say it would be a woman.
- He didn't say it wouldn't be, did he?

- I suppose not.
- Well then?

Hang on, Jim.

I've got 20 years
and a couple of stones on you.

Now there.

Thee's no way she can get near
without us spotting her.

My God, I might have known! You couldn't
trust me to handle the job properly,

you had to come
and supervise yourself, didn't you?

- Supervise?
- Well, you needn't worry.

Your precious exhibits are safely
back in situ without a mark on them.

Come and have a look. Come on,
I know you won't believe me

until you've seen for yourself
so come and have a look.

She's not in a hurry, is she?

- What do you think, eh?
- Yes. It's... It's fine.

What do you think about
the way I've laid it all out?

Yes. Very nice...

Well, I don't know! You haven't
even noticed, have you? I'll tell you,

- you've got no imagination at all.
- Charles, I've...

See what I've done upstairs.

Look, Charles!

Is there something the matter
with your hand?

- What?
- It looks as if you're afraid

- someone's going to pick your pocket.
- No. No, no, no.

- I've got some skin trouble.
- Oh, dear! I am sorry.

Come see what I've done upstairs.

Don't like this.
Should have been here by now.

What do you reckon?
Split up, take a look around?

Might be an idea.

- Back here in 10 minutes?
- Yeah, all right.

Hey, what do you think you're...

By God! Philippa Vale.
How the hell did you get here?

Raymond, lock the door.
We got a murderess in our midst.

Almost right, Mr Hungerford. I'd love to
know how you got here, Mr Charteris?

Never mind about how he got here,
what do you want with that box?

- Diamonds.
- Diamonds? What dia...

Do you mean the ones
all the fuss is about?

Hey, there's a reward out on these,
you know.

Yes, Charles. I expect you'll be
entitled to put in a claim for it.

Meantime, you keep hold on her
while I go and call the police.

Aye, fair enough.

I'll just take the diamonds with me,
shall I? Just to be on the safe side.

If he does that, you will never see them
again. He killed Ormond for them.

Killed Ormond? Are you off your rocker?
I've known old Raymond for years.

All the same, I think
I'll hang on to them, if you don't mind.

Just give me the bloody casket!

- Raymond.
- Give it to me.

All right.

Now just stay where you are.

Oi.

Oh, well done, Jim.
The diamonds are in there.

And I've got you Philippa Vale
safely locked up ins...

Oh, no, they're not.

- Is there another way out of that room?
- I don't know...

Hey, you'd better take the key.

Stop!

- End of the line, Miss Vale.
- Oh, dear.

Just when it was
all turning out so nicely.

- The diamonds are in there, are they?
- Yes.

I suppose all it's good for now
is playing my swan song.

I must say...

What the hell are you doing?

Listen, Jim, I had to do it.
She would have got away.

What are you talking about?

- Who killed Tony Bragg?
- What?

- You did, didn't you?
- Listen, Jim.

Jim, we could do a deal.

Have you any idea
how much those stones are worth?

Jim!

Jim, he's getting away.
Well, go on. Get after him.

(YELLING)

Really, Sergeant dear, it takes
a long time to warm you up,

but then there's no stopping you.

Who says the wages of sin is death?

Mind you, not far off. I feel like
my ribs have been ground to powder.

Lie still.

Hey, Jim. There's a reward out
on this lot, isn't there?

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

- Hello, Bergerac.
- Hello.

- Oh, hello, Sue.
- Where were you last night?

- I tried to ring you.
- I was working.

- Same old story.
- Yeah, it's the same old story.

- Look, Sue, I wanna tell you something.
- Is it serious?

- Well, yeah.
- Can it wait till I get back, Jim?

Come home soon. That's all.
Come home soon.

Thank you, Sister.

- James, they're lovely.
- Special vintage blooms.

- Your favourite.
- Oh, Sergeant, you are clever.

Quick. Put it in the cupboard before
the dragon lady spots it.

They tell me you're going to survive.

What about your precious career?
Is that going to survive, too?

Oh, yeah, looks like it.

Crozier tried to bawl me out
but was grinning

so much at the idea of getting
his hands on those diamonds

without any help from the Met.

He couldn't get his words out straight,
could he?

And then he realised that temptation
wouldn't be put in my path again.

Oh, yes?

Yeah. Well, the next time I see you,
you will have, as they say,

- paid your debt to society.
- Ah, yes.

Still, won't be quite the same, will it?

No, it won't.

- Fun, though, wasn't it?
- Yes. Yes, it was.

Tell me, Sergeant dear,
which part did you enjoy the most?

- Oh, that's easy.
- It is?

Yeah. When Rockwell was trying
to throttle the life out of me.

I wouldn't have missed that
for the wold.

Yes, I thought that's what
you were going to say.