Bergerac (1981–1991): Season 5, Episode 2 - Winner Takes All - full transcript
Grumpy software designer Jarvis McLeod receives death threats through his computer and his wife Monica's dog is poisoned. Then the speaker deputising for him at a conference is blown up. McLeod is not popular but the chief suspect seems to be John Logan, the embittered ex-partner in his business - though he has an alibi. Bergerac wonders if McLeod is actually behind the so-called death threats. Certainly the culprit seems to be somebody close to home.
There we are. Okay, come on, now,
girls, down onto the quay, quickly.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
We'll do it now.
We'll do it here by the car.
Come on, girls, hurry up.
One on either side.
One on each arm. That's right.
Take the cigar out. Now, smile.
Sorry we're late. Where should we go?
Down on the quay!
Get the band down there.
We're trying to get the photos took.
We haven't got all day.
Right. Oh, come on, do hurry up. Right.
There we are. Smile, girls. Cheese.
(PLAYING CEREMONIAL MUSIC)
You're looking perky, Charlie.
"Dull would he be of soul who could pass
A sight so touching in its majesty."
That poetry, Charlie?
When I see money
sailing towards me, Jim,
- I always feel...
- Poetical?
Three hundred computer experts
bulging at the ears with brains,
with wallets to match,
and they're all mine.
It restores your faith in God,
doesn't it?
Ah, welcome to Jersey, Mr Chatterjee.
I am Charles Hungerford. I hope you had
a pleasant crossing. Splendid. Splendid.
Now, if you'll just
assemble your party over here,
I have a fleet of cars waiting
to drive you to your various hotels.
Anna, flowers for Mr Chatterjee.
Come on, girls, flowers for everybody.
That's right, in you go.
Welcome to Jersey, ladies and gentlemen.
What's he on about, eh?
Charlie's organised
a computer conference over here
for the next four days.
He's called it his Computercon.
- Where's he getting his cut?
- Well, just about everywhere.
For starters,
as soon as the dates were fixed,
he hired every hotel room in the town.
But he's being very generous.
He's letting them back
at £10 a night over the tariff.
We should run him in.
There must be some law.
No, no, Charlie's always legal.
Just.
Someday, Charlie'll be dipped in cement
and dropped off the edge of the island.
There you go. How are you?
Vey nice to see you again.
Got all your computers
in there, have you?
Well done. Not too heavy for you,
the flower, is it? There we are.
Fou days talking about computes?
I couldn't talk
about the damn things fo fou seconds.
Do you ever get the feeling that
the world is passing you by, Barney?
Yes, and I don't mind one little bit.
At least that lot won't give us
any trouble. It's the paper-hat brigade
with the beer cans that worry me.
Okay, let's go.
- Sheets.
- What?
- I waited until now.
- So?
You put two clean sheets
on the bed yesterday.
- I don't like sleeping in a dirty bed.
- I've told you before, Monica.
Top to the bottom,
and a clean sheet on the top.
- My mother...
- Lived in a slum.
We're now living in a £1 million house.
What are you talking
about sheets for, Jarvis?
I'm talking about
unnecessary extravagance.
The simple, practical economics of life
don't alter.
Oh, shut up.
Just don't let it happen again.
(DOG BARKING)
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
(CLATTERING)
- Fluke.
- Skill, that was. Get them off.
You know, Jim, there's much quicker ways
of going about all this.
We have the time.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello?
- CROZIER: Sergeant Bergerac?
Yes. Correction.
We had the time. It's for you.
- For me? How strange. Hello, Bergerac.
- Jim.
- Oh, hello, Barney.
- What are you up to?
As a matter of fact,
I'm playing tiddlywinks.
Tiddlywinks?
It's a great game
if you've got the right motivation.
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt
such intellectual pursuits,
but we have a death threat on our hands.
A certain Jarvis McLeod,
a computer engineer
over at Bonne Nuit Bay,
a place called Fresh Springs.
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
Yeah.
Sergeant Bergerac,
Bureau des Étrangers.
Hold on.
(BLOWING ULTRASONIC WHISTLE)
Do you know how long it's taken
for you to come from St Helier?
Well, I got here
as soon as I could, sir.
It's over an hour
since I spoke to your boss.
Yes, something about
a threatening message, was it?
Shut up! Sit!
(DOG WHIMPERS)
Are you taking this seriously?
Of course I am, damn it,
that's why I've called you here.
And this message
was left on your computer?
Yeah.
Well, don't you think
it might be a joke?
Sergeant, someone's accessed my system.
Do you have any idea what that takes?
Well, I don't understand too much
about computers, Mr McLeod.
My God!
It's a difficult thing to do, Sergeant,
and nobody would do it just for a joke.
Yeah, I see. It's just
that the island is full of people
who do understand computers
at the moment.
- There's a conference on.
- I know that.
- I helped organise it.
- Oh?
I thought Charles Hungerford did that.
He came to me fot advice,
names, companies, that sott of thing.
You watch a lot of television,
don't you, Mr McLeod?
Those are not
television screens, Bergerac.
I control my business from here.
Jarvis can hold a conference from here.
Department heads,
factory managers, overseas reps,
he can have them all
on the line at the same time.
- As if you were all in the same room?
- That's right.
(EXCLAIMING)
That is fantastic.
When you've finished gasping, Bergerac,
what do you propose to do about this?
- You've got no idea who sent it?
- None at all.
Well, have you made
any enemies that you can think of?
- Someone in computers, perhaps?
- Obviously someone in computers.
A child of three could deduce that.
Yeah, but someone like you.
I mean,
someone in your position
must have stepped on a few toes, eh?
Yeah, I suppose I have.
And some of those people
might be in Jersey now, yeah?
I can think of no one
who'd threaten my life.
How about John Logan?
- Logan? No, surely not.
- Who's John Logan?
He used to be my partner.
We split up about three years ago.
Since then,
there's been some unpleasantness.
Like what?
Oh, the odd threatening phone call,
letters, nothing more.
- Why?
- Well, after we split up,
he started his own software business.
Last year, he sued me
for infringement of copyright.
He claimed one of the games
I was putting out was based on his idea.
- Actually, Crescendo was my idea.
- That's beside the point.
- Anyway, he lost the action.
- Is John Logan in the island now?
- Not that I know of.
- But you said you gave Hungerford
- a list of names.
- Not Logan's.
Well, I'll make inquiries.
And while you're making inquiries, Sergeant,
what am I expected to do?
Oh, I expect you'll be safe enough, sir.
You seem to have
a pretty good security system here.
Don't I get any protection?
Well, I'll see
that a patrol comes by here regularly.
In the meantime,
if you see anything you think is wrong,
phone the station
immediately, all right?
I'll see you out, Sergeant.
Flatfoot.
This man Logan, is there
anything more you can tell me about him?
Well, you're gonna find out anyway.
We used to be together.
Oh! And how did Logan feel
about you marrying McLeod, then?
He was very bitter and upset.
- Bitter enough to commit murder?
- Oh, no.
No, but he could be trying
to frighten Jarvis.
Yeah, well, thank you.
- How do I get through the gate?
- There's an electronic beam.
Ah, of course.
Well, I'll let you know
if I turn anything up, okay?
And thanks for you help.
Apart from being worried,
what's this Jarvis McLeod like?
It says in that file
that he's got the highest IQ in Mensa.
What the hell's that got to do with it?
If you needed brains
as well as money to live here,
we wouldn't have an immigration problem.
He's so big-headed, he's probably put
that information in himself.
- What do you think, Lil?
- He's only been in a few times.
Yeah, but how did you find him?
Was he a sociable sort of chap?
You must be joking.
He keeps his small change in a purse.
We've got to find
somebody with a motive.
Well, I have noticed,
when he's offered a drink, he switches
from a lager to a large brandy.
- Well, there's your motive.
- Well, that's it, then.
- Open and shut case.
- Thanks, Lil.
Cheers.
Excuse me, Charlie Hungerford?
- Number 25, up the stairs.
- Thank you.
Testing. Testing.
One, two, three. Testing.
No. No.
No, still nothing there, Mr Hungerford.
Oh, blast.
Testing. Still testing.
Oh, bloody thing.
You've got it all set up, Charlie?
(GRUMBLING)
Blasted speakers aren't working.
What are you doing here, anyway?
- I understand you know Jarvis McLeod.
- Vaguely. What about him?
He says he helped you
set up this conference.
Did he heck as like! I just
sounded him out about a few names,
companies, nothing more than that.
Now, testing.
Fred, how's that? Testing. Testing.
Still not working, Mr Hungerford.
- Bloody hell.
- JIM: How did you get on to him?
Well, he caused enough publicity
when he first came over to Jersey.
"The king of King Computers settles
in Jersey." Put that back, will you?
Sorry. He's not in computers now,
Charlie. He's in software.
I know that. As a matter of fact,
I've asked him to give a talk about software.
You know, I always thought
that meant pullovers.
Yeah, I'm a bit woolly
on the subject myself.
Woolly? Oh, that's good.
That's good, Jim. Very good, indeed.
Oh, here we are. Down here, I think.
Anyways, he's giving
a talk about it on Friday,
if I can ever get
these damn speakers working.
So he is taking part in the conference?
You know, he's just giving a talk.
I mean, I didn't want him...
Didn't want him what?
Look, do you mind telling me
what all this is about?
Yes, he's had...
He's had his computer accessed.
- You mean repossessed?
- No, no, accessed, Charlie.
It means when someone
breaks into a computer system.
Someone's dealt him the black spot.
Well, just so long
as they don't do it before Friday,
otherwise I'll have
to get another speaker.
Hey, Fred, stop tapping like that,
will you? It's a delicate instrument.
Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
You said you didn't want him to...
Charlie, you didn't finish the sentence.
Well, McLeod offered
to help me organise this conference,
- but I decided against it.
- Why?
Well, I discovered
that he wasn't too popular.
You see, when King Computers went down
the plughole a couple of years back,
a lot of cteditots went down as well.
I mean, agents, parts suppliers,
- you know, the usual small fry.
- Oh, that's great.
- That really widens the field, don't it?
- Eh?
Of people
who might want to knock him off.
Aye, well,
he certainly isn't flavour of the month.
Fred, try that one, will you?
Oh, I think
that's for the hotel speakers.
- Well, never mind. Try it anyway.
- Okay, Mr Hungerford.
Very sorry, Jim,
but I've got a lot of work to do.
Hang on, Charlie.
This is, or potentially is,
a murder enquiry, you know?
- Aye, and this is definitely money.
- All right, just tell me,
have you got a John Logan on your list
of, what do you call them, delegates?
Delegates is a polite word for it.
(CHUCKLING)
For most of this lot,
it's the middle-class equivalent
of a European soccer outing.
The waitresses
are already asking for danger money.
(HESITATING)
Oh, here we are, Logan. Yes,
you'll find him at the Hotel Bristol.
- Thanks, Charlie.
- All right.
- Now, Fred.
- Yeah?
Get to the back of the hall and shout
- if you can hear anything, all right?
- Okay... All right.
Come on, get you stomps moving.
We haven't got all day.
- Okay, Mr Hungerford.
- Come on, now. All right.
Testing. Testing. Testing.
One, two, three. One, two three.
"There was a young man from Devizes
With balls of differing sizes
(ON PA) "One was small and no use at all
The other was huge and won prizes"
- That sounded all right, did it, Fred?
- Very good.
Oh, Oh, good, Good,
Well, we'll try another one.
"There was an old man from Bosham
Who took out his eyeballs to wash them
"His wife said, 'Oh, Jack
If you don't put them back
"'I'll sit on the table
and squash them.'"
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
All right, Fred, did it sound good?
Hello, this is Bergerac.
I'm just clocking in.
Could you ask DC Goddard
to check that John Logan, Logan,
is staying at the Hotel Bristol, please?
And could I have a description
of the man, please? Thank you.
FRED: They can hear you
all over the hotel, Mr Hungerford.
What? Oh, bloody hell!
JARVIS: Someone came
onto this propety last night, Sergeant.
Look at that fence.
When did you notice this?
About half an hour ago.
I was out walking the dog.
- And nobody entered the house?
- No.
- And you didn't hear anything?
- Look, Bergerac,
whoever came through that fence
knew what he was doing.
He must have overridden
the computer control system.
Yeah, well, I'll just check the house
for signs of attempted entry, okay?
And who found it, huh?
Who's a clever baby?
Oh, my love! Come on.
- Bloody casual about it, aren't they?
- Well, I think he seems a competent man.
For God's sake, Monica.
Someone threatens to kill me,
someone breaks into the house,
and all the police can do
is to send out one man.
Oh, I suppose they're a bit short
of tanks and howitzer batteries.
They should have sent someone up here
to guad the place properly yesterday.
I presume, after all this,
I'm gonna get some proper protection.
- Oh, it's being arranged.
- What is?
Your protection, sir, but, frankly,
I think you are the victim of a hoax.
- A hoax?
- Yeah, this, after the message,
and then no attempt to enter the house.
I think someone
is just trying to frighten you.
Well, they're succeeding.
- Monica, I'm late.
- I know.
I'll be back around midday. I expect
Speedy Gonzales will still be here?
- Bergerac to Goddard.
- Yes, Jim?
girls, down onto the quay, quickly.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
We'll do it now.
We'll do it here by the car.
Come on, girls, hurry up.
One on either side.
One on each arm. That's right.
Take the cigar out. Now, smile.
Sorry we're late. Where should we go?
Down on the quay!
Get the band down there.
We're trying to get the photos took.
We haven't got all day.
Right. Oh, come on, do hurry up. Right.
There we are. Smile, girls. Cheese.
(PLAYING CEREMONIAL MUSIC)
You're looking perky, Charlie.
"Dull would he be of soul who could pass
A sight so touching in its majesty."
That poetry, Charlie?
When I see money
sailing towards me, Jim,
- I always feel...
- Poetical?
Three hundred computer experts
bulging at the ears with brains,
with wallets to match,
and they're all mine.
It restores your faith in God,
doesn't it?
Ah, welcome to Jersey, Mr Chatterjee.
I am Charles Hungerford. I hope you had
a pleasant crossing. Splendid. Splendid.
Now, if you'll just
assemble your party over here,
I have a fleet of cars waiting
to drive you to your various hotels.
Anna, flowers for Mr Chatterjee.
Come on, girls, flowers for everybody.
That's right, in you go.
Welcome to Jersey, ladies and gentlemen.
What's he on about, eh?
Charlie's organised
a computer conference over here
for the next four days.
He's called it his Computercon.
- Where's he getting his cut?
- Well, just about everywhere.
For starters,
as soon as the dates were fixed,
he hired every hotel room in the town.
But he's being very generous.
He's letting them back
at £10 a night over the tariff.
We should run him in.
There must be some law.
No, no, Charlie's always legal.
Just.
Someday, Charlie'll be dipped in cement
and dropped off the edge of the island.
There you go. How are you?
Vey nice to see you again.
Got all your computers
in there, have you?
Well done. Not too heavy for you,
the flower, is it? There we are.
Fou days talking about computes?
I couldn't talk
about the damn things fo fou seconds.
Do you ever get the feeling that
the world is passing you by, Barney?
Yes, and I don't mind one little bit.
At least that lot won't give us
any trouble. It's the paper-hat brigade
with the beer cans that worry me.
Okay, let's go.
- Sheets.
- What?
- I waited until now.
- So?
You put two clean sheets
on the bed yesterday.
- I don't like sleeping in a dirty bed.
- I've told you before, Monica.
Top to the bottom,
and a clean sheet on the top.
- My mother...
- Lived in a slum.
We're now living in a £1 million house.
What are you talking
about sheets for, Jarvis?
I'm talking about
unnecessary extravagance.
The simple, practical economics of life
don't alter.
Oh, shut up.
Just don't let it happen again.
(DOG BARKING)
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
(CLATTERING)
- Fluke.
- Skill, that was. Get them off.
You know, Jim, there's much quicker ways
of going about all this.
We have the time.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello?
- CROZIER: Sergeant Bergerac?
Yes. Correction.
We had the time. It's for you.
- For me? How strange. Hello, Bergerac.
- Jim.
- Oh, hello, Barney.
- What are you up to?
As a matter of fact,
I'm playing tiddlywinks.
Tiddlywinks?
It's a great game
if you've got the right motivation.
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt
such intellectual pursuits,
but we have a death threat on our hands.
A certain Jarvis McLeod,
a computer engineer
over at Bonne Nuit Bay,
a place called Fresh Springs.
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
Yeah.
Sergeant Bergerac,
Bureau des Étrangers.
Hold on.
(BLOWING ULTRASONIC WHISTLE)
Do you know how long it's taken
for you to come from St Helier?
Well, I got here
as soon as I could, sir.
It's over an hour
since I spoke to your boss.
Yes, something about
a threatening message, was it?
Shut up! Sit!
(DOG WHIMPERS)
Are you taking this seriously?
Of course I am, damn it,
that's why I've called you here.
And this message
was left on your computer?
Yeah.
Well, don't you think
it might be a joke?
Sergeant, someone's accessed my system.
Do you have any idea what that takes?
Well, I don't understand too much
about computers, Mr McLeod.
My God!
It's a difficult thing to do, Sergeant,
and nobody would do it just for a joke.
Yeah, I see. It's just
that the island is full of people
who do understand computers
at the moment.
- There's a conference on.
- I know that.
- I helped organise it.
- Oh?
I thought Charles Hungerford did that.
He came to me fot advice,
names, companies, that sott of thing.
You watch a lot of television,
don't you, Mr McLeod?
Those are not
television screens, Bergerac.
I control my business from here.
Jarvis can hold a conference from here.
Department heads,
factory managers, overseas reps,
he can have them all
on the line at the same time.
- As if you were all in the same room?
- That's right.
(EXCLAIMING)
That is fantastic.
When you've finished gasping, Bergerac,
what do you propose to do about this?
- You've got no idea who sent it?
- None at all.
Well, have you made
any enemies that you can think of?
- Someone in computers, perhaps?
- Obviously someone in computers.
A child of three could deduce that.
Yeah, but someone like you.
I mean,
someone in your position
must have stepped on a few toes, eh?
Yeah, I suppose I have.
And some of those people
might be in Jersey now, yeah?
I can think of no one
who'd threaten my life.
How about John Logan?
- Logan? No, surely not.
- Who's John Logan?
He used to be my partner.
We split up about three years ago.
Since then,
there's been some unpleasantness.
Like what?
Oh, the odd threatening phone call,
letters, nothing more.
- Why?
- Well, after we split up,
he started his own software business.
Last year, he sued me
for infringement of copyright.
He claimed one of the games
I was putting out was based on his idea.
- Actually, Crescendo was my idea.
- That's beside the point.
- Anyway, he lost the action.
- Is John Logan in the island now?
- Not that I know of.
- But you said you gave Hungerford
- a list of names.
- Not Logan's.
Well, I'll make inquiries.
And while you're making inquiries, Sergeant,
what am I expected to do?
Oh, I expect you'll be safe enough, sir.
You seem to have
a pretty good security system here.
Don't I get any protection?
Well, I'll see
that a patrol comes by here regularly.
In the meantime,
if you see anything you think is wrong,
phone the station
immediately, all right?
I'll see you out, Sergeant.
Flatfoot.
This man Logan, is there
anything more you can tell me about him?
Well, you're gonna find out anyway.
We used to be together.
Oh! And how did Logan feel
about you marrying McLeod, then?
He was very bitter and upset.
- Bitter enough to commit murder?
- Oh, no.
No, but he could be trying
to frighten Jarvis.
Yeah, well, thank you.
- How do I get through the gate?
- There's an electronic beam.
Ah, of course.
Well, I'll let you know
if I turn anything up, okay?
And thanks for you help.
Apart from being worried,
what's this Jarvis McLeod like?
It says in that file
that he's got the highest IQ in Mensa.
What the hell's that got to do with it?
If you needed brains
as well as money to live here,
we wouldn't have an immigration problem.
He's so big-headed, he's probably put
that information in himself.
- What do you think, Lil?
- He's only been in a few times.
Yeah, but how did you find him?
Was he a sociable sort of chap?
You must be joking.
He keeps his small change in a purse.
We've got to find
somebody with a motive.
Well, I have noticed,
when he's offered a drink, he switches
from a lager to a large brandy.
- Well, there's your motive.
- Well, that's it, then.
- Open and shut case.
- Thanks, Lil.
Cheers.
Excuse me, Charlie Hungerford?
- Number 25, up the stairs.
- Thank you.
Testing. Testing.
One, two, three. Testing.
No. No.
No, still nothing there, Mr Hungerford.
Oh, blast.
Testing. Still testing.
Oh, bloody thing.
You've got it all set up, Charlie?
(GRUMBLING)
Blasted speakers aren't working.
What are you doing here, anyway?
- I understand you know Jarvis McLeod.
- Vaguely. What about him?
He says he helped you
set up this conference.
Did he heck as like! I just
sounded him out about a few names,
companies, nothing more than that.
Now, testing.
Fred, how's that? Testing. Testing.
Still not working, Mr Hungerford.
- Bloody hell.
- JIM: How did you get on to him?
Well, he caused enough publicity
when he first came over to Jersey.
"The king of King Computers settles
in Jersey." Put that back, will you?
Sorry. He's not in computers now,
Charlie. He's in software.
I know that. As a matter of fact,
I've asked him to give a talk about software.
You know, I always thought
that meant pullovers.
Yeah, I'm a bit woolly
on the subject myself.
Woolly? Oh, that's good.
That's good, Jim. Very good, indeed.
Oh, here we are. Down here, I think.
Anyways, he's giving
a talk about it on Friday,
if I can ever get
these damn speakers working.
So he is taking part in the conference?
You know, he's just giving a talk.
I mean, I didn't want him...
Didn't want him what?
Look, do you mind telling me
what all this is about?
Yes, he's had...
He's had his computer accessed.
- You mean repossessed?
- No, no, accessed, Charlie.
It means when someone
breaks into a computer system.
Someone's dealt him the black spot.
Well, just so long
as they don't do it before Friday,
otherwise I'll have
to get another speaker.
Hey, Fred, stop tapping like that,
will you? It's a delicate instrument.
Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
You said you didn't want him to...
Charlie, you didn't finish the sentence.
Well, McLeod offered
to help me organise this conference,
- but I decided against it.
- Why?
Well, I discovered
that he wasn't too popular.
You see, when King Computers went down
the plughole a couple of years back,
a lot of cteditots went down as well.
I mean, agents, parts suppliers,
- you know, the usual small fry.
- Oh, that's great.
- That really widens the field, don't it?
- Eh?
Of people
who might want to knock him off.
Aye, well,
he certainly isn't flavour of the month.
Fred, try that one, will you?
Oh, I think
that's for the hotel speakers.
- Well, never mind. Try it anyway.
- Okay, Mr Hungerford.
Very sorry, Jim,
but I've got a lot of work to do.
Hang on, Charlie.
This is, or potentially is,
a murder enquiry, you know?
- Aye, and this is definitely money.
- All right, just tell me,
have you got a John Logan on your list
of, what do you call them, delegates?
Delegates is a polite word for it.
(CHUCKLING)
For most of this lot,
it's the middle-class equivalent
of a European soccer outing.
The waitresses
are already asking for danger money.
(HESITATING)
Oh, here we are, Logan. Yes,
you'll find him at the Hotel Bristol.
- Thanks, Charlie.
- All right.
- Now, Fred.
- Yeah?
Get to the back of the hall and shout
- if you can hear anything, all right?
- Okay... All right.
Come on, get you stomps moving.
We haven't got all day.
- Okay, Mr Hungerford.
- Come on, now. All right.
Testing. Testing. Testing.
One, two, three. One, two three.
"There was a young man from Devizes
With balls of differing sizes
(ON PA) "One was small and no use at all
The other was huge and won prizes"
- That sounded all right, did it, Fred?
- Very good.
Oh, Oh, good, Good,
Well, we'll try another one.
"There was an old man from Bosham
Who took out his eyeballs to wash them
"His wife said, 'Oh, Jack
If you don't put them back
"'I'll sit on the table
and squash them.'"
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
All right, Fred, did it sound good?
Hello, this is Bergerac.
I'm just clocking in.
Could you ask DC Goddard
to check that John Logan, Logan,
is staying at the Hotel Bristol, please?
And could I have a description
of the man, please? Thank you.
FRED: They can hear you
all over the hotel, Mr Hungerford.
What? Oh, bloody hell!
JARVIS: Someone came
onto this propety last night, Sergeant.
Look at that fence.
When did you notice this?
About half an hour ago.
I was out walking the dog.
- And nobody entered the house?
- No.
- And you didn't hear anything?
- Look, Bergerac,
whoever came through that fence
knew what he was doing.
He must have overridden
the computer control system.
Yeah, well, I'll just check the house
for signs of attempted entry, okay?
And who found it, huh?
Who's a clever baby?
Oh, my love! Come on.
- Bloody casual about it, aren't they?
- Well, I think he seems a competent man.
For God's sake, Monica.
Someone threatens to kill me,
someone breaks into the house,
and all the police can do
is to send out one man.
Oh, I suppose they're a bit short
of tanks and howitzer batteries.
They should have sent someone up here
to guad the place properly yesterday.
I presume, after all this,
I'm gonna get some proper protection.
- Oh, it's being arranged.
- What is?
Your protection, sir, but, frankly,
I think you are the victim of a hoax.
- A hoax?
- Yeah, this, after the message,
and then no attempt to enter the house.
I think someone
is just trying to frighten you.
Well, they're succeeding.
- Monica, I'm late.
- I know.
I'll be back around midday. I expect
Speedy Gonzales will still be here?
- Bergerac to Goddard.
- Yes, Jim?