Bergerac (1981–1991): Season 5, Episode 1 - The Memory Man - full transcript
After a man is found wandering Jersey nude and suffering from memory loss, Susan's eccentric aunt, yachtswoman Belle is asked to make a no questions asked trip to France but refuses. Jim discovers that the mystery man, Smythe, has actually murdered his wife, though Smythe genuinely cannot recall it. His friends, however, are extremely dangerous and will stop at nothing to get him off the island. Jim calls on Belle's help to stop them.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
All I'm saying
is it's not what I expected.
That's all I'm saying.
No, dear, what you're saying is that
you wanted to go to Scarborough.
- I like Scarborough.
- We go there every year.
What's wrong with Scarborough?
Oh, you don't get views like that
for one thing.
- Or like that, either.
- What?
MAN: Good God, look at that.
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
No, don't look.
- He's got no clothes on.
- I said don't look.
Yes, dear.
They don't show anything
like this in brochures.
MAN: It's disgusting.
It shouldn't be allowed.
(CAR HONKING)
Nice-looking fellow.
I'm going to complain.
That's what I'm going to do.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Emergency,
which service would you like?
I want the police, urgent.
Excuse me, sir.
Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Officer.
- Haven't we forgotten something, sir?
Do you know, I'm rather afraid we have.
I really do feel most peculiar.
Draughts in unaccustomed places,
I dare say, sir?
I don't know where to begin.
Perhaps our trousers
might be a good place, sir.
Hmm?
Good Lord!
Now I...
really don't know where to begin.
JIM: I'm not sure that he is ours.
What do you mean he's not local?
How can you be sure he's not local?
He hasn't got the state crest
tattooed on his bum.
Oi!
Nobody's had time to
report him missing yet, have they?
What?
Oh, you governor's cleared it
with my governor?
That's terrific, thank you very much.
The great and the good sorted it out
between them, have they, Sarge?
- Where is he?
- I put him in the small interview room.
Do you want me to handle that, Sarge?
No, I want you
to get on with your reports.
Yeah, well, I'm doing perverts
at the moment in my Sergeant's Course.
Oh, you've divined that
he's a pervert, have you?
Yeah, well, I'd say
he's your basic exhibitionist
with a better-than-average excuse.
- You'll see.
- JIM: Well, I hope not.
I've had enough excitement in one day.
It's all right.
We gave him some clothes.
I was surprised you had time,
the speed you got him to us.
- PEGGY: Oh, excuse me.
- Peggy, you all right?
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Hey, you sure?
Yes, really, Jim. I'm fine.
She seems to be coping
all right, considering.
It's hard to say, though, isn't it?
Shock's an unpredictable sort of thing.
Takes different people different ways.
Right, I'm Detective Sergeant Bergerac,
and, well, we don't know
who you are, do we?
So what's the story?
Loss of memory, is it?
Sergeant, I don't remember anything.
Nothing at all.
Until your colleague there...
What was that rather
colourful phrase you used?
"Felt your collar."
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Yeah. Yeah, all right, you two,
you can go.
Come on, Harry.
Where do we go from here?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
MARTIN: Ahoy the Bluebelle,
anyone aboard?
Hmm. I can't say
I'm frightfully impressed.
- MAN #2: He was highly recommended.
- You said.
- MAN #2: Clever and anxious to please.
- Like a valet or a gun dog.
None of what we need at the moment.
Hello! Anyone there?
BELLE: Hey.
Welcome to Guernsey, Miss Young.
- Is that official?
- It is Miss Belle Young?
All the years I've been coming here,
never had an official welcome before.
Martin Jebourg.
What are you? Politician?
You're wasting your charm on me, love.
(EXCLAIMS)
A lawyer.
Definitely wasting your charm on me.
- Did you have a good trip from Alderney?
- Alderney?
That is where you've just come from,
isn't it?
What do you want, Mr Gerbils?
I'd like to discuss
a small business proposition with you.
Can I come aboard?
I'm working on the engine at the moment.
£5,000.
- I'm listening.
- A charter.
- You do charter, don't you?
- Of course.
I'll come to your office.
Sorry, it has to be settled now
or you can forget it.
Can you afford to forget
that kind of money?
(EXHALES)
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
You don't think all this
is taking too long, do you?
It's a bit late to change your mind now.
I have not changed my mind.
This rather elaborate route
was your idea, no?
You said you had contacts.
You could arrange it.
- I don't hire her out on her own.
- No, no, no, we'd want you to sail.
- Where to?
- Nothing complicated.
Five thousand might buy
a certain amount of complications.
Well, when I say nothing complicated,
what I mean is,
nothing that will overstretch
your resources.
Are you sure you're not a politician?
Why don't you get to the point?
A single trip to France.
Any part of the coast you choose.
All we ask is that,
shall we say, it's not overlooked,
and it's possible
to land there without...
Being overlooked.
And what exactly would be the cargo?
I would assume there would be a cargo?
That, I'm afraid, I can't say.
But at these prices,
does it really matter?
Yes, it does.
Well, I can increase the offer
to 10,000.
But that is all.
And that is all I want to know.
Get off my boat.
Five thousand in advance...
In cash.
Get off my boat right now!
What's the problem, Miss Young?
No problem.
Just get the hell off my boat.
We are well aware of
your smuggling activities, Miss Young.
Oh, are we?
It would be a pity if the authorities
were to become aware of them as well,
wouldn't it?
I've been cleared by customs.
Yes, but they didn't come aboard
and check, did they?
You've got some stuff in there
right now, haven't you?
Now, I've asked you politely
to get off my boat.
Now, you listen to me.
You're gonna do exactly what we ask,
whether you like it or not.
- You don't have any choice, actually.
- Wrong, actually.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
All ashore who's going ashore!
And stay off my boat.
- Stupid bloody woman.
- I don't carry drugs.
Even if you people
have all the money in the world.
You're in trouble.
Deep bloody trouble!
(BELLE LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
He could be right.
Well, that was really stupid, Belle.
That was really dumb, Belle.
Now, my little darlings,
now how are you going to go
with filters like that? Hmm?
(DOG BARKING)
Hey, over here.
He can't have got far, can he?
Not in that state.
Not without being noticed.
His clothes have gotta be there somewhere.
Well, let's hope so. I didn't intend it
to be a major inquiry.
I only took it on as a favour.
Then why didn't you say so?
I thought you wanted it sorted.
It's a medical problem anyhow.
We shouldn't be involved at all
if it comes to that.
- No good deed goes unpunished.
- It's a nothing case.
You've allocated more man-hours than
it took to catch the Yokshire Ripper.
Well, perhaps we'll get lucky
like they did.
Well, you'll have to get lucky
in half the time.
The quarterly figures are way over.
- What, no overtime at all?
- As of now.
Okay, you're the boss.
And they are your clear-up statistics.
It's surprising what a difference
a nothing-case like this
can make to them,
if it stays open.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
MARTIN: She's ideal, I assure you.
One of those best-loved creatures,
an English eccentric.
The object of the exercise is to leave
no discernable trail to follow.
- Broken tail. Series of dead ends.
- You do see that, Martin.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Our problem is that we don't understand
what you're doing.
She'll make the trip
and she'll do it right.
And the beauty of it is,
the customs people know that
she sometimes runs
a little harmless contraband.
Most of the time they ignore her.
So if they do notice, they'll think
that's what she's carrying.
- Right.
- Clever.
So how are you going to persuade her?
I told you. I'm going to use
the forces of law and order.
Oh, that is clever. That's just
the sort of attention we came for.
Don't worry.
I won't draw any attention to you.
- Oh, good.
- Look, I know the woman.
- She'll contact me.
- From a police cell, presumably.
She'll agree my terms
and I'll call off the authorities
long before it comes to that.
And you won't be involved
in any way whatsoever.
- We don't have the time.
- Time is running against us, Martin.
Once the situation becomes public,
then the chase is on.
- It will be plain-sailing.
- I hope so.
There's nothing, Jim.
No ID, no personal effects of any sort.
All right, gents,
back to the office, please.
Crozier's on the economy drive.
Now, go on, get a move on.
If he kicks mine, I'm gonna kick yours,
all right?
Very expensive gear, this.
- What, no labels at all?
- No.
Not even in the shoes.
I don't see the point of that, do you?
Exclusive made-to-measure stuff, this.
You couldn't afford it.
The make could probably identify them
simply by looking at it.
All right, get yourself
back to the office, will you?
- Yeah.
- And try and look busy.
So who doesn't want him identified?
Of course, it's possible to fake it.
We've all done that.
When was the last morning-after
that you pretended
not to remember the night before?
I got out of the stage of
not having to pretend.
Yes, of course.
Yes, I'd forgotten that.
So, what, you reckon this guy
is a burned-out drunk, then?
No. No, there's no sign of that.
In fact, there's no sign of anything.
No physical trauma, no blows
on the head, nothing like that.
You know, I think we can rule out
traumatic amnesia.
Yeah, so what then? Is he faking it?
Look, I have told you.
I don't think he is. No.
No, I think it's some sort of
hysterical amnesia.
He simply blacked out something
he doesn't want to remember.
- That sounds a bit glib to me.
- What?
Why did he take all his clothes off
and hide them?
That isn't unhead of.
You could see it
as part of the same thing.
At a crude level, it's an act
of rejection, just like the amnesia.
Yeah, on a cruder level still,
it's an act of indecency.
It's like a crime.
You're getting cynical, Sergeant.
You want to watch that.
Remember Oscar Wilde's definition
of a cynic?
Someone who knows the price
of everything and the value of nothing.
Would you like to hazard a guess
at the price of his clothes?
More than you and I make
in the average month, I'd say.
It's odd, though, because you wouldn't
think someone who dresses like that
would drye his hair.
You missed that one,
didn't you, Sergeant?
STEVENS: Release form, please, nurse.
Thanks.
What do you think?
They fit well enough, so I can
only assume they are, as you say,
my clothes.
But they do nothing for your memory, eh?
No, not a thing.
Why is there nothing in the pockets?
We found them that way.
- No labels on anything, either.
- No, sir.
Now, isn't that strange?
Yes. I haven't lost my mind, Sergeant.
Only my memory.
(ECHOING) Memory.
Memories are the worst,
but they do fade.
Here, take this.
Now, I know that's what
everyone says, my dear,
but you can take it from someone
who's been through it himself.
Time does help.
The memories become kinder,
easier to live with, Peggy.
May I call you Peggy?
- Of course.
- And it's Charlie.
You must call me Charlie.
All my friends do.
It's at times like this
you need friends, eh, Peggy?
You're really very kind.
Here, well, come on now,
drink your tea up.
Is he in, Peggy? Hello, Charlie.
- Are you all right?
- Of course she's not all right.
Her husband's only just
passed away, for God's sake.
Yeah, yeah, all right. I realise that.
I was just...
You were just being
your usual insensitive self.
You were just... You do realise
she shouldn't be here at all.
I'm surprised at Barney.
Oh, there you are.
Hello, Peggy, how are you?
I'm fine now, thank you, sir.
- Good. Tea fresh?
- Yes. Mr...
- Charlie...just made it.
- Oh, thank you, Charlie.
That's the most positive contribution
anyone on the law and order committee
- has made in some time.
- Hey!
Come through, Jim.
That remark was quite uncalled for,
Chief Inspector.
Just because my committee
raised the question of
the effective use of police manpower.
You didn't raise the question.
You started a campaign.
Another cheap political campaign.
The taxpayers have a right to know
that their money is being used
in the most efficient way possible.
What we're talking about
is verifiable value for money.
We're also busy verifying
every bloody man-hour,
and not actually doing any work.
How's the memory man?
The doctor reckons
he's a genuine amnesiac, all right.
- What's the treatment?
- Wait and hope.
- That's a big help.
- We just try to assist, that's all.
Anyway, I won't bother with
the business I came here to discuss,
you're obviously busy.
I am a little short of man-hours
at the moment.
But I will tell you one thing
before I go.
I know it's the secretary
that runs any office.
But to make that poor woman out there
work a full day
with her husband
hardly cold in the ground.
If it's any business of yours,
Peggy feels she wants everything
to be as normal as possible,
so we're trying to oblige her.
Oh, you mean it was her idea?
The doctor reckons that approach
might help our man, too.
You know, make everything seem
as normal as possible for him.
- Do we know what's normal for him?
- Oh, nothing but the best.
He's got very expensive tastes.
Top-class hotel? Finest food and wine?
That would hardly be an effective use
of our resources right now, would it?
- Verifiable value for money?
- (SCOFFS)
Hey, Charlie.
- Charlie? Charlie.
-Mmm?
Now, you did say
you wanted to assist us, didn't you?
Hey?
It's not that I mind
having folk here to stay,
but I do usually like to know
who they are.
At the very least, I like them
to know who they are.
- I do appreciate your help, Charlie.
- Oh, well, we got plenty of room here.
Mind you, I don't suppose
Deborah will be best pleased.
Since when did Deborah ever object
to having a man about the house?
Whereas you, of course,
were always a model husband and father.
It wasn't intended as a criticism.
You never really cared enough
to criticise, did you?
Why should Debs object to our friend?
Principle, probably. She's been
in a very funny mood lately.
- When's she due back from Paris?
- Any time now.
Oh, well, I'll leave you to it then.
You really do have
the most delightful place here, Charles.
- Aye, well, we like it.
- If anything should occur to you, sir...
Leaving so soon, Sergeant?
Well, when someone warns you
there's trouble on the way,
the best thing to do is leave, isn't it?
Bye.
Oh, yes.
Coffee, Mr... Oh, sorry.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(ENGINE FALTERING)
Come on, my darling.
Don't you let you Belle down now.
Miss Young!
Oh, come on! Come on!
(GRUNTS)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(BELLE SINGING)
Miss Young!
# And he didn't... #
Miss Young!
JIM: Could be doing a runner.
From what?
There are no outstanding warrants
anyone reckons might fit him.
As yet.
- His fingerprints?
- No, we're still waiting.
That's our best bet and the cheapest.
No ID, no labels. He's got dryed hair.
He's certainly gone to a great
deal of trouble to conceal his identity.
Rather too much for his own good
as it turns out.
There's gotta be a reason.
- How many of those are we running off?
- Two hundred.
Well, watch the expense, will you?
- (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Yes?
Routine all-stations alert, sir.
From Guernsey.
I hope they reverse the charges.
"Miss Belle Young, owner of
the moto yacht Bluebelle,
"wanted for assault
and possible minor customs violations.
"Notify whereabouts."
Thank you, Peggy.
Belle Young?
- Any relation?
- What?
- To your lady.
- What, Susan?
Well, I shouldn't think so.
She never mentioned
any criminal mastremind in the family.
Sink, you cancerous little bastards.
Why don't you sink?
There's no hiding it.
(SPUTTERS)
(GRUNTING)
Sink, will you?
Don't know what I'm going to do
for money, though.
Coming from all over and run like hell.
SUSAN: Why do you want to know about
my relations all of a sudden?
Oh, we were talking about
something at work, today,
and I suddenly realised I know nothing
about your background at all, do I?
A bit late for references, isn't it?
I could be shacked up with
Ronnie Biggs' cousin, couldn't I?
You think if I was that famous
I'd be wasting my time on a nobody?
Oh, thank you very much.
Actually, I'm surprised you still are.
Pretty woman like you, eh?
You must be doing something right.
Is that Aunt Belle?
Little stunner, isn't she?
She was always obsessed with boats.
My father used to call her
"Tugboat Annie" when they were kids.
She hated it and him.
- Typical family, was it?
- Hardly ever see her now.
Once in a blue moon,
usually when she's broke.
She's a sort of water gypsy.
Nice, you'll like her.
Well, I hope I don't meet her too soon.
You'd have prefered Ronnie Biggs,
would you?
Well, according to our colleagues
in the Guernsey constabulary,
Aunt Belle is a fugitive from justice.
You're joking!
Auntie Belle!
What's she supposed to have done?
Relax. It's only minor matters.
Nothing to lose any sleep over.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAN GASPING)
(SCREAMING)
Are you all right? Good God!
Whatever happened?
I'm sorry, Charles. Did I...
Did I wake you?
I wasn't asleep, as it happens.
- Clearly, I was.
- Some sort of a nightmare, was it?
It was the most horrible...
What was it? Can you remember?
Not really. It was just...
I think I was strangling someone.
Hello, Auntie Belle.
It looks as if I only ever come
to see you when I'm on the scrounge.
That's because you do only ever come to
see me when you're on the scrounge.
There are times when you quite
remind me of your father.
It was a joke, Belle.
That's what he always used to say.
I was half expecting you anyway.
(GROANS)
You're in trouble, aren't you?
I'm afraid your Aunt Belle's
made a bit of a pills of
a small scheme that was going to
keep me in diesel and hard tack
for the next couple of months.
You've made a pills
of more than that, Belle.
I don't think so.
- What exactly was this small scheme?
- Hmm?
A little, quiet, gentle smuggling.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
Screaming his blooming head off,
he was, I tell you.
I hardly slept a wink all night.
You do realise he could be
some kind of a nut?
What, just because of
a couple of nightmares?
No, a real nut.
A murder-you-in-your-bed type nut.
- Oh, come on, Charlie.
- No, I mean it, Jim.
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
I can't have him stopping here.
What am I supposed to do with him?
Well, lock him up, take him home,
I don't give a damn.
Just don't bring him
back here tonight, that's all.
(LAUGHING) Good morning.
Young Jim here was just saying he felt
perhaps this wasn't the ideal place
for you after all.
Weren't you, Jim?
(HORN HONKING)
JIM: Charlie's not the world's
leading expert
on the interpretation of dreams,
you know?
I assume you were listening.
MAN: I think I'd do the same
in his position.
- I remember this place.
- JIM: Yeah?
Well, your clothes
were found down there.
- That I don't remember.
- What, nothing?
No.
But try and remember. Try miming it,
taking your clothes off, I mean...
(SIGHS)
- Never was any good at charades.
- What'd you say?
Have you remembered something?
Only the nightmare.
Well, you didn't come from anywhere
in the immediate vicinity, sir.
I've had offices checking out
the hotels
and the guesthouses around here.
I think the best thing is for us
to go into St Helier
and check out
some of the flashier places.
I'm sorry,
there was no pun intended. Okay?
Martin Jebourg, please.
Martin Jebourg?
Good morning to you, you festering toad!
You miserable excuse for a human being!
What have you done to me,
you lawyer, you?
Miss Young.
I've been expecting your call.
Assault? Yes, I have laid charges.
And that's just the beginning,
believe me.
You can't be serious.
It was just a lucky push.
I just wet you suit a little.
I mean, let's be reasonable.
I'm more than willing to be reasonable,
Miss Young.
You... You lawyer. You...
Then I suggest you give consideration
to the more than reasonable
business proposition we discussed.
You know what you can do
with you proposition.
You can stuff it where the monkey
stuffed his nuts.
And for your information,
I'm not even in Guernsey,
I'm in Jersey.
And here I intend to stay.
(SIGHS)
- Janine.
- Yes, sir.
Get me Inspector Craddock, would you?
If he's not at the station,
try his home number.
- Right away, sir.
- Thanks.
JIM: Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des
Étrangers. Do you know this man?
Do you think I could
speak for myself next time?
Yeah, sure.
Well, "Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des
Étrangers. Do you know this man?"
is beginning to make me feel like
a fugitive from a Trappist chain gang.
MAN: Excuse me, do you by any chance
know who I am?
You're Lobby Ludd
and I claim my 5 pounds.
JIM: All right,
let's not be a smart-arse.
Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des Étrangers.
Do you know this man?
Come on.
Well?
Sergeant, I wonder...
Yeah, all right, I'll wait out here
for you this time, okay?
You're very considerate.
Probably why I'm still a sergeant.
Oh, excuse me, I...
- Your key, sir.
- My key?
Will there be anything else, sir?
No, thank you.
- Up the stairs, turn right.
- Yes. Of course.
Thank you.
Good Lord.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Sergeant, there's something in here
I think you should see.
Sergeant? What sergeant?
Where in God's name have you been?
You're supposed to have
stayed in your room.
What sergeant?
I knew we shouldn't have left him here.
You and your bloody broken tails.
We've got to get him out of here.
Guernsey.
- Can I help you?
- Yes, please, if you would.
Yes, Sergeant?
A man came in here just now
and asked whether you knew him?
- I'm sorry?
- Hang on.
This fellow. There he is.
- That's Mr Smythe.
- What, do you know him?
- He's Room 16.
- Is he up there now?
- He should be. Shall I...
- Yeah, please.
(PHONE RINGING)
He's not answering his phone.
He's probably spark out. He was three
sheets to the wind when he came in.
- Have you got a pass key?
- What's he done?
Please, quickly. Thank you.
Up the stairs, first right.
What's he done?
CROZIER: Skipped? Skipped?
- JIM: Well, his room was empty.
- You do know who he is?
Well, he registered in the hotel
under the name of J Smythe,
which I suppose is an upmarket version
of John Smith, isn't it?
Damn right it is.
- Fingerpints just came through.
- Oh, ta.
"This man is believed to be dangerous."
He strangled his wife and child
and hid the bodies in his boathouse
under some tarpaulin and you lost him.
What, the Honourable
Bartholomew Ffelps-Smythe?
With two small "Fs".
And two large officers from the Met
waiting for the word
to come and collect him.
- Why didn't the news break before now?
- Because they had it under wraps.
- Or tarpaulin.
- What?
They wanted to keep the press
away from it for as long as possible.
Well, they've only got themselves
to blame then.
Wrong, they've got us to blame.
Well, look, he wasn't in custody,
and we had no positive reason to believe
that he should be,
- and there was no warrant, was there?
- Well, thee is now.
And talking of warrants,
there's one on its way from Guernsey.
That woman Belle Young.
Do you remember her?
- Yeah, vaguely.
- She's here in the island.
You'll never guess what
he last known address was.
This is the first place
he'll come with a warrant, isn't it?
- I really need this right now.
- She's family, Jim.
Yeah, why else do you think
I'm sticking my neck out?
I'll go back to the boat
and make a run for it.
No, you won't.
That won't solve anything, will it?
Not if what you say
about the lawyer is true.
Belle is not in the habit
of telling lies.
No, just smuggling and brawling and...
Put like that, it makes it sound
quite exciting, doesn't it?
- Shut up.
- Belle.
Belle, have you got a friend,
a good friend, you can go and stay with
while I try and sort
something out for you?
Yes, I think so.
Not someone I can borrow money from,
but a berth for the night if I need one.
You need one.
- He's in...
- And don't you tell me who he is.
The less I know about this,
the better, all right?
And you keep us in touch, all right?
Excuse me.
Jim...
Come back, Ronnie Biggs,
all is forgiven.
- Time, Jim.
- Oh, sorry.
- Yes?
- It's a cock-up.
- No sign?
- With the overtime ban,
there weren't enough bodies out there
to watch the Buerau car park,
- never mind seal off the whole island.
- He's away for sure, isn't he?
I remember police officers
who were dedicated to their job.
- I wonder what happened to them.
- They ran out of hours, didn't they?
Bergerac. Oh, hello, Susan.
Oh, I see.
Yes, love.
I've just been to see Belle.
I can't really talk about that
right now, okay?
- She's very restless.
- What, already?
Yes, already.
Look, when can you talk?
Look, I can't talk about it now,
all right?
Well, you better do something soon.
She won't stay away from that boat
for too long.
She's got no alternative.
Well, I know she's got no alternative.
You know she's got no alternative,
but who's gonna convince Belle?
Hello? Jim?
MARTIN: It's just as I said it would be.
She's agreed to do what we asked
providing I drop the charges.
MAN #2: I was beginning to think that
you might let us down.
MARTIN: She'll be at the east jetty by
midday, fuelled up and ready to leave.
You sit here, Barty.
He really remembers nothing?
I retain the power of speech.
- I'm sorry.
- I remember very little else.
Perhaps you could enlighten me.
My two keepers here
seem to be reluctant.
Sufficient unto the day, Barty.
Besides, we're not your keepers, Barty.
We're your friends.
We're your best friends.
Then you won't think it ungracious of me
to ask you to prove it.
We ae poving it.
(WHISPERS) This happened to him
while he was waiting in Jersey.
Don't you think he needs help?
Don't you think that's
what we're trying to give him?
Now, shall we get on with it?
My God.
- Don't you want to count it?
- No.
And what the hell is that?
You don't need that.
It's unfortunate. But we don't
know her personally, do we?
You're not gonna kill her.
- What's wrong?
- He's squeamish.
- I want no part of murder.
- And you'll have no part of murder.
- I don't want your money, either.
- Look...
Don't touch me!
I don't expect you
to be able to understand this,
but Barty is a friend, and you don't
leave a friend to the mercy of the mob.
You make quite certain
that the sons of toil
keep their horny hands off him.
He made a bad marriage,
outside his class,
and against his friends' advice.
Now, shall we go?
I don't know.
You're not gonna let us down after all,
are you?
Haven't I done enough already?
We would like to think
that you care enough,
that you're involved enough
not to peach.
Well, I wouldn't, would I?
Of course, I wouldn't.
So you will come with us then.
(GUN FIRING)
- Your lawyer's late.
- Perhaps he smelt a rat.
I did try and keep downwind.
So what do we do now?
Give him another half hour.
Barty, that man,
that's your policeman, isn't it?
It looks like him, yes,
but what is going on?
I believe you're tying to help me,
but why won't you tell me
what I've done?
Why do I need your help?
Plenty of time for all that
when you're safe.
- What do we do?
- They know we're here, obviously.
We've got to leave this island.
The ferry.
- They have that covered.
- Not if they're expecting us there.
- It's a hell of a risk.
- Can you think of a better idea?
(TYRES SCREECH)
Come on, Barty.
Get a move on.
Do you want to have a look?
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
Looks as through you were right.
The next problem is,
where do we go from here?
Take the hydrofoil direct
from Jersey, risk the passpots.
(HEARTBEAT THUMPING)
Oh, Christ.
That's what I did!
Barty...
- No, I killed them.
- Don't worry.
- Easy.
- I killed them!
For God's sake!
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
I killed them with my bare hands!
- It wasn't dugs, Belle, it was a man.
- A man? Where is he?
Follow that ferry. Go on, get a move on!
BELLE: I don't know
whether I can catch her.
- JIM: Does your radio work?
- Everything on my boat works.
JIM: Corbiere, Corbiere, Corbiere.
This is Bluebelle, do you read me?
Cobiere, Corbiere, Corbiere.
This is Bluebelle. Bluebelle.
Do you receive me? Over.
MAN: Bluebelle, this is Corbiere.
Corbiere. Go ahead. Over.
Don't worry, Barty.
It'll all be over soon.
You can't waste your life
because of an angry moment.
- Is this being slowed down?
- I don't think so.
Here.
Quick!
ANNOUNER: Calling Mr Hawkins.
Passenger from Guernsey
travelling to Portsmouth,
please come to the purser's office,
Mr Hawkins. Thank you.
- Smythe! Smythe!
- No!
- Not there!
- JIM: Look out, he's got a gun!
Bloody fool!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(GUN FIRES)
Barty!
(GUN FIRING)
(ALARM RINGING)
He's dead.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
Hold it, Tom.
Okay.
Bloody business.
"God save me from my friends.
I can protect myself from my enemies."
- Sorry?
- The proverb.
Excuse me.
You really did get lucky
in half the time, didn't you?
It didn't feel lucky
when that gun was waving around.
Felt as if me whole life
flashed in front of my eyes.
That and the fact that
it was unpaid overtime.
Oh, Chief Inspector.
About all these charges against me.
Martin Jebourg is out of it.
I imagine they'll be dropped,
Miss Young.
It's up to Guernsey, of course.
I need a shower and a change of clothes,
all right?
Yes, I just wish
you'd remember one thing...
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Clothing budget is overspent.
Oh, is there a clothing budget?
---
All I'm saying
is it's not what I expected.
That's all I'm saying.
No, dear, what you're saying is that
you wanted to go to Scarborough.
- I like Scarborough.
- We go there every year.
What's wrong with Scarborough?
Oh, you don't get views like that
for one thing.
- Or like that, either.
- What?
MAN: Good God, look at that.
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
No, don't look.
- He's got no clothes on.
- I said don't look.
Yes, dear.
They don't show anything
like this in brochures.
MAN: It's disgusting.
It shouldn't be allowed.
(CAR HONKING)
Nice-looking fellow.
I'm going to complain.
That's what I'm going to do.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Emergency,
which service would you like?
I want the police, urgent.
Excuse me, sir.
Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Officer.
- Haven't we forgotten something, sir?
Do you know, I'm rather afraid we have.
I really do feel most peculiar.
Draughts in unaccustomed places,
I dare say, sir?
I don't know where to begin.
Perhaps our trousers
might be a good place, sir.
Hmm?
Good Lord!
Now I...
really don't know where to begin.
JIM: I'm not sure that he is ours.
What do you mean he's not local?
How can you be sure he's not local?
He hasn't got the state crest
tattooed on his bum.
Oi!
Nobody's had time to
report him missing yet, have they?
What?
Oh, you governor's cleared it
with my governor?
That's terrific, thank you very much.
The great and the good sorted it out
between them, have they, Sarge?
- Where is he?
- I put him in the small interview room.
Do you want me to handle that, Sarge?
No, I want you
to get on with your reports.
Yeah, well, I'm doing perverts
at the moment in my Sergeant's Course.
Oh, you've divined that
he's a pervert, have you?
Yeah, well, I'd say
he's your basic exhibitionist
with a better-than-average excuse.
- You'll see.
- JIM: Well, I hope not.
I've had enough excitement in one day.
It's all right.
We gave him some clothes.
I was surprised you had time,
the speed you got him to us.
- PEGGY: Oh, excuse me.
- Peggy, you all right?
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Hey, you sure?
Yes, really, Jim. I'm fine.
She seems to be coping
all right, considering.
It's hard to say, though, isn't it?
Shock's an unpredictable sort of thing.
Takes different people different ways.
Right, I'm Detective Sergeant Bergerac,
and, well, we don't know
who you are, do we?
So what's the story?
Loss of memory, is it?
Sergeant, I don't remember anything.
Nothing at all.
Until your colleague there...
What was that rather
colourful phrase you used?
"Felt your collar."
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Yeah. Yeah, all right, you two,
you can go.
Come on, Harry.
Where do we go from here?
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
MARTIN: Ahoy the Bluebelle,
anyone aboard?
Hmm. I can't say
I'm frightfully impressed.
- MAN #2: He was highly recommended.
- You said.
- MAN #2: Clever and anxious to please.
- Like a valet or a gun dog.
None of what we need at the moment.
Hello! Anyone there?
BELLE: Hey.
Welcome to Guernsey, Miss Young.
- Is that official?
- It is Miss Belle Young?
All the years I've been coming here,
never had an official welcome before.
Martin Jebourg.
What are you? Politician?
You're wasting your charm on me, love.
(EXCLAIMS)
A lawyer.
Definitely wasting your charm on me.
- Did you have a good trip from Alderney?
- Alderney?
That is where you've just come from,
isn't it?
What do you want, Mr Gerbils?
I'd like to discuss
a small business proposition with you.
Can I come aboard?
I'm working on the engine at the moment.
£5,000.
- I'm listening.
- A charter.
- You do charter, don't you?
- Of course.
I'll come to your office.
Sorry, it has to be settled now
or you can forget it.
Can you afford to forget
that kind of money?
(EXHALES)
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
You don't think all this
is taking too long, do you?
It's a bit late to change your mind now.
I have not changed my mind.
This rather elaborate route
was your idea, no?
You said you had contacts.
You could arrange it.
- I don't hire her out on her own.
- No, no, no, we'd want you to sail.
- Where to?
- Nothing complicated.
Five thousand might buy
a certain amount of complications.
Well, when I say nothing complicated,
what I mean is,
nothing that will overstretch
your resources.
Are you sure you're not a politician?
Why don't you get to the point?
A single trip to France.
Any part of the coast you choose.
All we ask is that,
shall we say, it's not overlooked,
and it's possible
to land there without...
Being overlooked.
And what exactly would be the cargo?
I would assume there would be a cargo?
That, I'm afraid, I can't say.
But at these prices,
does it really matter?
Yes, it does.
Well, I can increase the offer
to 10,000.
But that is all.
And that is all I want to know.
Get off my boat.
Five thousand in advance...
In cash.
Get off my boat right now!
What's the problem, Miss Young?
No problem.
Just get the hell off my boat.
We are well aware of
your smuggling activities, Miss Young.
Oh, are we?
It would be a pity if the authorities
were to become aware of them as well,
wouldn't it?
I've been cleared by customs.
Yes, but they didn't come aboard
and check, did they?
You've got some stuff in there
right now, haven't you?
Now, I've asked you politely
to get off my boat.
Now, you listen to me.
You're gonna do exactly what we ask,
whether you like it or not.
- You don't have any choice, actually.
- Wrong, actually.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
All ashore who's going ashore!
And stay off my boat.
- Stupid bloody woman.
- I don't carry drugs.
Even if you people
have all the money in the world.
You're in trouble.
Deep bloody trouble!
(BELLE LAUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
He could be right.
Well, that was really stupid, Belle.
That was really dumb, Belle.
Now, my little darlings,
now how are you going to go
with filters like that? Hmm?
(DOG BARKING)
Hey, over here.
He can't have got far, can he?
Not in that state.
Not without being noticed.
His clothes have gotta be there somewhere.
Well, let's hope so. I didn't intend it
to be a major inquiry.
I only took it on as a favour.
Then why didn't you say so?
I thought you wanted it sorted.
It's a medical problem anyhow.
We shouldn't be involved at all
if it comes to that.
- No good deed goes unpunished.
- It's a nothing case.
You've allocated more man-hours than
it took to catch the Yokshire Ripper.
Well, perhaps we'll get lucky
like they did.
Well, you'll have to get lucky
in half the time.
The quarterly figures are way over.
- What, no overtime at all?
- As of now.
Okay, you're the boss.
And they are your clear-up statistics.
It's surprising what a difference
a nothing-case like this
can make to them,
if it stays open.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
MARTIN: She's ideal, I assure you.
One of those best-loved creatures,
an English eccentric.
The object of the exercise is to leave
no discernable trail to follow.
- Broken tail. Series of dead ends.
- You do see that, Martin.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Our problem is that we don't understand
what you're doing.
She'll make the trip
and she'll do it right.
And the beauty of it is,
the customs people know that
she sometimes runs
a little harmless contraband.
Most of the time they ignore her.
So if they do notice, they'll think
that's what she's carrying.
- Right.
- Clever.
So how are you going to persuade her?
I told you. I'm going to use
the forces of law and order.
Oh, that is clever. That's just
the sort of attention we came for.
Don't worry.
I won't draw any attention to you.
- Oh, good.
- Look, I know the woman.
- She'll contact me.
- From a police cell, presumably.
She'll agree my terms
and I'll call off the authorities
long before it comes to that.
And you won't be involved
in any way whatsoever.
- We don't have the time.
- Time is running against us, Martin.
Once the situation becomes public,
then the chase is on.
- It will be plain-sailing.
- I hope so.
There's nothing, Jim.
No ID, no personal effects of any sort.
All right, gents,
back to the office, please.
Crozier's on the economy drive.
Now, go on, get a move on.
If he kicks mine, I'm gonna kick yours,
all right?
Very expensive gear, this.
- What, no labels at all?
- No.
Not even in the shoes.
I don't see the point of that, do you?
Exclusive made-to-measure stuff, this.
You couldn't afford it.
The make could probably identify them
simply by looking at it.
All right, get yourself
back to the office, will you?
- Yeah.
- And try and look busy.
So who doesn't want him identified?
Of course, it's possible to fake it.
We've all done that.
When was the last morning-after
that you pretended
not to remember the night before?
I got out of the stage of
not having to pretend.
Yes, of course.
Yes, I'd forgotten that.
So, what, you reckon this guy
is a burned-out drunk, then?
No. No, there's no sign of that.
In fact, there's no sign of anything.
No physical trauma, no blows
on the head, nothing like that.
You know, I think we can rule out
traumatic amnesia.
Yeah, so what then? Is he faking it?
Look, I have told you.
I don't think he is. No.
No, I think it's some sort of
hysterical amnesia.
He simply blacked out something
he doesn't want to remember.
- That sounds a bit glib to me.
- What?
Why did he take all his clothes off
and hide them?
That isn't unhead of.
You could see it
as part of the same thing.
At a crude level, it's an act
of rejection, just like the amnesia.
Yeah, on a cruder level still,
it's an act of indecency.
It's like a crime.
You're getting cynical, Sergeant.
You want to watch that.
Remember Oscar Wilde's definition
of a cynic?
Someone who knows the price
of everything and the value of nothing.
Would you like to hazard a guess
at the price of his clothes?
More than you and I make
in the average month, I'd say.
It's odd, though, because you wouldn't
think someone who dresses like that
would drye his hair.
You missed that one,
didn't you, Sergeant?
STEVENS: Release form, please, nurse.
Thanks.
What do you think?
They fit well enough, so I can
only assume they are, as you say,
my clothes.
But they do nothing for your memory, eh?
No, not a thing.
Why is there nothing in the pockets?
We found them that way.
- No labels on anything, either.
- No, sir.
Now, isn't that strange?
Yes. I haven't lost my mind, Sergeant.
Only my memory.
(ECHOING) Memory.
Memories are the worst,
but they do fade.
Here, take this.
Now, I know that's what
everyone says, my dear,
but you can take it from someone
who's been through it himself.
Time does help.
The memories become kinder,
easier to live with, Peggy.
May I call you Peggy?
- Of course.
- And it's Charlie.
You must call me Charlie.
All my friends do.
It's at times like this
you need friends, eh, Peggy?
You're really very kind.
Here, well, come on now,
drink your tea up.
Is he in, Peggy? Hello, Charlie.
- Are you all right?
- Of course she's not all right.
Her husband's only just
passed away, for God's sake.
Yeah, yeah, all right. I realise that.
I was just...
You were just being
your usual insensitive self.
You were just... You do realise
she shouldn't be here at all.
I'm surprised at Barney.
Oh, there you are.
Hello, Peggy, how are you?
I'm fine now, thank you, sir.
- Good. Tea fresh?
- Yes. Mr...
- Charlie...just made it.
- Oh, thank you, Charlie.
That's the most positive contribution
anyone on the law and order committee
- has made in some time.
- Hey!
Come through, Jim.
That remark was quite uncalled for,
Chief Inspector.
Just because my committee
raised the question of
the effective use of police manpower.
You didn't raise the question.
You started a campaign.
Another cheap political campaign.
The taxpayers have a right to know
that their money is being used
in the most efficient way possible.
What we're talking about
is verifiable value for money.
We're also busy verifying
every bloody man-hour,
and not actually doing any work.
How's the memory man?
The doctor reckons
he's a genuine amnesiac, all right.
- What's the treatment?
- Wait and hope.
- That's a big help.
- We just try to assist, that's all.
Anyway, I won't bother with
the business I came here to discuss,
you're obviously busy.
I am a little short of man-hours
at the moment.
But I will tell you one thing
before I go.
I know it's the secretary
that runs any office.
But to make that poor woman out there
work a full day
with her husband
hardly cold in the ground.
If it's any business of yours,
Peggy feels she wants everything
to be as normal as possible,
so we're trying to oblige her.
Oh, you mean it was her idea?
The doctor reckons that approach
might help our man, too.
You know, make everything seem
as normal as possible for him.
- Do we know what's normal for him?
- Oh, nothing but the best.
He's got very expensive tastes.
Top-class hotel? Finest food and wine?
That would hardly be an effective use
of our resources right now, would it?
- Verifiable value for money?
- (SCOFFS)
Hey, Charlie.
- Charlie? Charlie.
-Mmm?
Now, you did say
you wanted to assist us, didn't you?
Hey?
It's not that I mind
having folk here to stay,
but I do usually like to know
who they are.
At the very least, I like them
to know who they are.
- I do appreciate your help, Charlie.
- Oh, well, we got plenty of room here.
Mind you, I don't suppose
Deborah will be best pleased.
Since when did Deborah ever object
to having a man about the house?
Whereas you, of course,
were always a model husband and father.
It wasn't intended as a criticism.
You never really cared enough
to criticise, did you?
Why should Debs object to our friend?
Principle, probably. She's been
in a very funny mood lately.
- When's she due back from Paris?
- Any time now.
Oh, well, I'll leave you to it then.
You really do have
the most delightful place here, Charles.
- Aye, well, we like it.
- If anything should occur to you, sir...
Leaving so soon, Sergeant?
Well, when someone warns you
there's trouble on the way,
the best thing to do is leave, isn't it?
Bye.
Oh, yes.
Coffee, Mr... Oh, sorry.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(ENGINE FALTERING)
Come on, my darling.
Don't you let you Belle down now.
Miss Young!
Oh, come on! Come on!
(GRUNTS)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(BELLE SINGING)
Miss Young!
# And he didn't... #
Miss Young!
JIM: Could be doing a runner.
From what?
There are no outstanding warrants
anyone reckons might fit him.
As yet.
- His fingerprints?
- No, we're still waiting.
That's our best bet and the cheapest.
No ID, no labels. He's got dryed hair.
He's certainly gone to a great
deal of trouble to conceal his identity.
Rather too much for his own good
as it turns out.
There's gotta be a reason.
- How many of those are we running off?
- Two hundred.
Well, watch the expense, will you?
- (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Yes?
Routine all-stations alert, sir.
From Guernsey.
I hope they reverse the charges.
"Miss Belle Young, owner of
the moto yacht Bluebelle,
"wanted for assault
and possible minor customs violations.
"Notify whereabouts."
Thank you, Peggy.
Belle Young?
- Any relation?
- What?
- To your lady.
- What, Susan?
Well, I shouldn't think so.
She never mentioned
any criminal mastremind in the family.
Sink, you cancerous little bastards.
Why don't you sink?
There's no hiding it.
(SPUTTERS)
(GRUNTING)
Sink, will you?
Don't know what I'm going to do
for money, though.
Coming from all over and run like hell.
SUSAN: Why do you want to know about
my relations all of a sudden?
Oh, we were talking about
something at work, today,
and I suddenly realised I know nothing
about your background at all, do I?
A bit late for references, isn't it?
I could be shacked up with
Ronnie Biggs' cousin, couldn't I?
You think if I was that famous
I'd be wasting my time on a nobody?
Oh, thank you very much.
Actually, I'm surprised you still are.
Pretty woman like you, eh?
You must be doing something right.
Is that Aunt Belle?
Little stunner, isn't she?
She was always obsessed with boats.
My father used to call her
"Tugboat Annie" when they were kids.
She hated it and him.
- Typical family, was it?
- Hardly ever see her now.
Once in a blue moon,
usually when she's broke.
She's a sort of water gypsy.
Nice, you'll like her.
Well, I hope I don't meet her too soon.
You'd have prefered Ronnie Biggs,
would you?
Well, according to our colleagues
in the Guernsey constabulary,
Aunt Belle is a fugitive from justice.
You're joking!
Auntie Belle!
What's she supposed to have done?
Relax. It's only minor matters.
Nothing to lose any sleep over.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAN GASPING)
(SCREAMING)
Are you all right? Good God!
Whatever happened?
I'm sorry, Charles. Did I...
Did I wake you?
I wasn't asleep, as it happens.
- Clearly, I was.
- Some sort of a nightmare, was it?
It was the most horrible...
What was it? Can you remember?
Not really. It was just...
I think I was strangling someone.
Hello, Auntie Belle.
It looks as if I only ever come
to see you when I'm on the scrounge.
That's because you do only ever come to
see me when you're on the scrounge.
There are times when you quite
remind me of your father.
It was a joke, Belle.
That's what he always used to say.
I was half expecting you anyway.
(GROANS)
You're in trouble, aren't you?
I'm afraid your Aunt Belle's
made a bit of a pills of
a small scheme that was going to
keep me in diesel and hard tack
for the next couple of months.
You've made a pills
of more than that, Belle.
I don't think so.
- What exactly was this small scheme?
- Hmm?
A little, quiet, gentle smuggling.
(BELLE LAUGHING)
Screaming his blooming head off,
he was, I tell you.
I hardly slept a wink all night.
You do realise he could be
some kind of a nut?
What, just because of
a couple of nightmares?
No, a real nut.
A murder-you-in-your-bed type nut.
- Oh, come on, Charlie.
- No, I mean it, Jim.
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
I can't have him stopping here.
What am I supposed to do with him?
Well, lock him up, take him home,
I don't give a damn.
Just don't bring him
back here tonight, that's all.
(LAUGHING) Good morning.
Young Jim here was just saying he felt
perhaps this wasn't the ideal place
for you after all.
Weren't you, Jim?
(HORN HONKING)
JIM: Charlie's not the world's
leading expert
on the interpretation of dreams,
you know?
I assume you were listening.
MAN: I think I'd do the same
in his position.
- I remember this place.
- JIM: Yeah?
Well, your clothes
were found down there.
- That I don't remember.
- What, nothing?
No.
But try and remember. Try miming it,
taking your clothes off, I mean...
(SIGHS)
- Never was any good at charades.
- What'd you say?
Have you remembered something?
Only the nightmare.
Well, you didn't come from anywhere
in the immediate vicinity, sir.
I've had offices checking out
the hotels
and the guesthouses around here.
I think the best thing is for us
to go into St Helier
and check out
some of the flashier places.
I'm sorry,
there was no pun intended. Okay?
Martin Jebourg, please.
Martin Jebourg?
Good morning to you, you festering toad!
You miserable excuse for a human being!
What have you done to me,
you lawyer, you?
Miss Young.
I've been expecting your call.
Assault? Yes, I have laid charges.
And that's just the beginning,
believe me.
You can't be serious.
It was just a lucky push.
I just wet you suit a little.
I mean, let's be reasonable.
I'm more than willing to be reasonable,
Miss Young.
You... You lawyer. You...
Then I suggest you give consideration
to the more than reasonable
business proposition we discussed.
You know what you can do
with you proposition.
You can stuff it where the monkey
stuffed his nuts.
And for your information,
I'm not even in Guernsey,
I'm in Jersey.
And here I intend to stay.
(SIGHS)
- Janine.
- Yes, sir.
Get me Inspector Craddock, would you?
If he's not at the station,
try his home number.
- Right away, sir.
- Thanks.
JIM: Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des
Étrangers. Do you know this man?
Do you think I could
speak for myself next time?
Yeah, sure.
Well, "Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des
Étrangers. Do you know this man?"
is beginning to make me feel like
a fugitive from a Trappist chain gang.
MAN: Excuse me, do you by any chance
know who I am?
You're Lobby Ludd
and I claim my 5 pounds.
JIM: All right,
let's not be a smart-arse.
Sergeant Bergerac, Bureau des Étrangers.
Do you know this man?
Come on.
Well?
Sergeant, I wonder...
Yeah, all right, I'll wait out here
for you this time, okay?
You're very considerate.
Probably why I'm still a sergeant.
Oh, excuse me, I...
- Your key, sir.
- My key?
Will there be anything else, sir?
No, thank you.
- Up the stairs, turn right.
- Yes. Of course.
Thank you.
Good Lord.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Sergeant, there's something in here
I think you should see.
Sergeant? What sergeant?
Where in God's name have you been?
You're supposed to have
stayed in your room.
What sergeant?
I knew we shouldn't have left him here.
You and your bloody broken tails.
We've got to get him out of here.
Guernsey.
- Can I help you?
- Yes, please, if you would.
Yes, Sergeant?
A man came in here just now
and asked whether you knew him?
- I'm sorry?
- Hang on.
This fellow. There he is.
- That's Mr Smythe.
- What, do you know him?
- He's Room 16.
- Is he up there now?
- He should be. Shall I...
- Yeah, please.
(PHONE RINGING)
He's not answering his phone.
He's probably spark out. He was three
sheets to the wind when he came in.
- Have you got a pass key?
- What's he done?
Please, quickly. Thank you.
Up the stairs, first right.
What's he done?
CROZIER: Skipped? Skipped?
- JIM: Well, his room was empty.
- You do know who he is?
Well, he registered in the hotel
under the name of J Smythe,
which I suppose is an upmarket version
of John Smith, isn't it?
Damn right it is.
- Fingerpints just came through.
- Oh, ta.
"This man is believed to be dangerous."
He strangled his wife and child
and hid the bodies in his boathouse
under some tarpaulin and you lost him.
What, the Honourable
Bartholomew Ffelps-Smythe?
With two small "Fs".
And two large officers from the Met
waiting for the word
to come and collect him.
- Why didn't the news break before now?
- Because they had it under wraps.
- Or tarpaulin.
- What?
They wanted to keep the press
away from it for as long as possible.
Well, they've only got themselves
to blame then.
Wrong, they've got us to blame.
Well, look, he wasn't in custody,
and we had no positive reason to believe
that he should be,
- and there was no warrant, was there?
- Well, thee is now.
And talking of warrants,
there's one on its way from Guernsey.
That woman Belle Young.
Do you remember her?
- Yeah, vaguely.
- She's here in the island.
You'll never guess what
he last known address was.
This is the first place
he'll come with a warrant, isn't it?
- I really need this right now.
- She's family, Jim.
Yeah, why else do you think
I'm sticking my neck out?
I'll go back to the boat
and make a run for it.
No, you won't.
That won't solve anything, will it?
Not if what you say
about the lawyer is true.
Belle is not in the habit
of telling lies.
No, just smuggling and brawling and...
Put like that, it makes it sound
quite exciting, doesn't it?
- Shut up.
- Belle.
Belle, have you got a friend,
a good friend, you can go and stay with
while I try and sort
something out for you?
Yes, I think so.
Not someone I can borrow money from,
but a berth for the night if I need one.
You need one.
- He's in...
- And don't you tell me who he is.
The less I know about this,
the better, all right?
And you keep us in touch, all right?
Excuse me.
Jim...
Come back, Ronnie Biggs,
all is forgiven.
- Time, Jim.
- Oh, sorry.
- Yes?
- It's a cock-up.
- No sign?
- With the overtime ban,
there weren't enough bodies out there
to watch the Buerau car park,
- never mind seal off the whole island.
- He's away for sure, isn't he?
I remember police officers
who were dedicated to their job.
- I wonder what happened to them.
- They ran out of hours, didn't they?
Bergerac. Oh, hello, Susan.
Oh, I see.
Yes, love.
I've just been to see Belle.
I can't really talk about that
right now, okay?
- She's very restless.
- What, already?
Yes, already.
Look, when can you talk?
Look, I can't talk about it now,
all right?
Well, you better do something soon.
She won't stay away from that boat
for too long.
She's got no alternative.
Well, I know she's got no alternative.
You know she's got no alternative,
but who's gonna convince Belle?
Hello? Jim?
MARTIN: It's just as I said it would be.
She's agreed to do what we asked
providing I drop the charges.
MAN #2: I was beginning to think that
you might let us down.
MARTIN: She'll be at the east jetty by
midday, fuelled up and ready to leave.
You sit here, Barty.
He really remembers nothing?
I retain the power of speech.
- I'm sorry.
- I remember very little else.
Perhaps you could enlighten me.
My two keepers here
seem to be reluctant.
Sufficient unto the day, Barty.
Besides, we're not your keepers, Barty.
We're your friends.
We're your best friends.
Then you won't think it ungracious of me
to ask you to prove it.
We ae poving it.
(WHISPERS) This happened to him
while he was waiting in Jersey.
Don't you think he needs help?
Don't you think that's
what we're trying to give him?
Now, shall we get on with it?
My God.
- Don't you want to count it?
- No.
And what the hell is that?
You don't need that.
It's unfortunate. But we don't
know her personally, do we?
You're not gonna kill her.
- What's wrong?
- He's squeamish.
- I want no part of murder.
- And you'll have no part of murder.
- I don't want your money, either.
- Look...
Don't touch me!
I don't expect you
to be able to understand this,
but Barty is a friend, and you don't
leave a friend to the mercy of the mob.
You make quite certain
that the sons of toil
keep their horny hands off him.
He made a bad marriage,
outside his class,
and against his friends' advice.
Now, shall we go?
I don't know.
You're not gonna let us down after all,
are you?
Haven't I done enough already?
We would like to think
that you care enough,
that you're involved enough
not to peach.
Well, I wouldn't, would I?
Of course, I wouldn't.
So you will come with us then.
(GUN FIRING)
- Your lawyer's late.
- Perhaps he smelt a rat.
I did try and keep downwind.
So what do we do now?
Give him another half hour.
Barty, that man,
that's your policeman, isn't it?
It looks like him, yes,
but what is going on?
I believe you're tying to help me,
but why won't you tell me
what I've done?
Why do I need your help?
Plenty of time for all that
when you're safe.
- What do we do?
- They know we're here, obviously.
We've got to leave this island.
The ferry.
- They have that covered.
- Not if they're expecting us there.
- It's a hell of a risk.
- Can you think of a better idea?
(TYRES SCREECH)
Come on, Barty.
Get a move on.
Do you want to have a look?
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
Looks as through you were right.
The next problem is,
where do we go from here?
Take the hydrofoil direct
from Jersey, risk the passpots.
(HEARTBEAT THUMPING)
Oh, Christ.
That's what I did!
Barty...
- No, I killed them.
- Don't worry.
- Easy.
- I killed them!
For God's sake!
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
I killed them with my bare hands!
- It wasn't dugs, Belle, it was a man.
- A man? Where is he?
Follow that ferry. Go on, get a move on!
BELLE: I don't know
whether I can catch her.
- JIM: Does your radio work?
- Everything on my boat works.
JIM: Corbiere, Corbiere, Corbiere.
This is Bluebelle, do you read me?
Cobiere, Corbiere, Corbiere.
This is Bluebelle. Bluebelle.
Do you receive me? Over.
MAN: Bluebelle, this is Corbiere.
Corbiere. Go ahead. Over.
Don't worry, Barty.
It'll all be over soon.
You can't waste your life
because of an angry moment.
- Is this being slowed down?
- I don't think so.
Here.
Quick!
ANNOUNER: Calling Mr Hawkins.
Passenger from Guernsey
travelling to Portsmouth,
please come to the purser's office,
Mr Hawkins. Thank you.
- Smythe! Smythe!
- No!
- Not there!
- JIM: Look out, he's got a gun!
Bloody fool!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(GUN FIRES)
Barty!
(GUN FIRING)
(ALARM RINGING)
He's dead.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
Hold it, Tom.
Okay.
Bloody business.
"God save me from my friends.
I can protect myself from my enemies."
- Sorry?
- The proverb.
Excuse me.
You really did get lucky
in half the time, didn't you?
It didn't feel lucky
when that gun was waving around.
Felt as if me whole life
flashed in front of my eyes.
That and the fact that
it was unpaid overtime.
Oh, Chief Inspector.
About all these charges against me.
Martin Jebourg is out of it.
I imagine they'll be dropped,
Miss Young.
It's up to Guernsey, of course.
I need a shower and a change of clothes,
all right?
Yes, I just wish
you'd remember one thing...
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Clothing budget is overspent.
Oh, is there a clothing budget?