Benson (1979–1986): Season 2, Episode 8 - In High Places - full transcript

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(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

Oh, yeah, Kraus,
did I tell you,

while I'm in
Albuquerque,

the men are coming
to insulate the attic?

Someone should
insulate your attic.

You told me
three times.

What are you
so nervous about?

Well, I'm not nervous.
I got a lot on my mind.

Sure wish I didn't
have to go to that
solar-energy conference.

A lot on your mind.

Any idiot could set up
a hospitality suite.



Then why ain't
you doing it?

I hate this.
I hate this.
I hate this.

Well, I ain't
carrying them
for you.

Not the luggage.

I hate thinking
about flying.

I hate waiting to fly.

I hate flying.

And you know
what I hate
worse than flying?

Falling.

Why can't we
take the train?

Well, I'd be happy
if we could take
a scheduled airline

instead of a charter.

Well, Benson, maybe
that's what you're

so nervous about.
Flying.



I'm not nervous.

No, you're scared stiff.

I love to fly.

I really don't want
to talk about flying.

I think I'll wait
in the car.

I used to date a pilot.

He did all sorts
of dangerous stunts.

Besides dating you?

Sometimes I think
I was born to fly.

I almost wish
I had wings.

I do, too.
Then maybe

you'd have something
to flap besides your beak.

Well, we're off.

Goodbye, sweetheart.
See you in a week.
Bye, Daddy.

Miss Kraus,
if there are
any problems,

call me in
Albuquerque.
KRAUS: Ja, ja.

And when
my ex-wife calls...

I know.
The check's
in the mail.

Right.

Benson, have you
seen the Governor?

Distinguished-looking man,
always wears a suit
around the house?

Katie, where is Daddy?

I don't know
where yours is,

but mine's out
in the car.

Well, so long, sugar.

Bye, Benson.
Have a good time.

(IMITATING HUMPHREY BOGART)
Here's looking at you, kid.

Benson, aren't you
going to say goodbye?

Are you gonna be here
when I get back?
Of course.

Then what's the point?

What are you two doing
buckled in already?

Oh, nervous.

Oh, I understand.

I was nervous, too,
the first time I ever flew.

Did I ever tell you
that story?

Do you suppose he waited
until we got buckled in?

Sir, we, uh, really
should get busy
with this speech.

In just a
minute, Clayton.

I was telling the story
of the first flight.

Do you want to hear it?

The Wright Brothers,
Kitty Hawk, 1903.
I've heard it, sir.

I'll be waiting.

Well, anyway,
we were all in
the plane, see.

It was my first time.

Oh, boy, was I nervous.

But everything
turned out
all right, huh?

Well, it would have
if we hadn't

run into that
chain link fence.

Chain link fence?
Chain link fence?

At the end of the runway.

(SIGHS)
This story isn't

cheering me up.

Was anybody hurt?

Only the pigs.

Don't look at me.
I ain't asking him.

Pigs?

The plane came to
rest in a pigsty.
(LAUGHS)

But fortunately,
everybody was safe.

By the hair of their
chinny-chin-chins.

Buckle up, folks.
We're about to take off.

Watch out for the pigs!

Benson, how do
you suppose those
wings stay on

with those
heavy motors
stuck in 'em?

Thanks for
bringing that
up, Marcy.

That's one
I haven't thought of.

Now, look here.

Flying works.

It's been proven
over and over again.

There are laws
that govern it.

It makes absolutely
logical sense...

If you're a
physics major.

But I'm not.

I'm a perfectly
normal person

who knows you
cannot keep six tons
of steel in the air.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

I think they're
gonna try it anyway.

Do you want to hear
something funny?

My initial
response is "no."

Guess what's happening
in Albuquerque,

the home of the
solar-energy conference?

It's raining.

That's a good guess,
Benson.

This is a great plane,
isn't it?

So far.

Did I ever tell you
I took flying lessons?

Really? When?

Thanks, Marcy.

Oh, it was a few years ago.

I could have been
first in my class,

but something
got in the way.

Are there pigs
in this story?

Oh, no, no.

See, I never
finished my lesson

because I decided
to run for Governor.

At least I got that
off the ground!

(LAUGHING)
Shouldn't you
be buckled in?

Oh, right.

Marcy, what
are you doing?

I was practicing
my crash position.
What?

Well, It's all here
on this

emergency card.
Do you want to read it?

Not if it tells me
to tuck my head
between my legs

and die with my
face in a pillow.

This is important
stuff, Benson.

Now, did you
know this?

"In the unlikely event

"that we should
be required to
land in water,

"do not panic,

"as this craft will
stay afloat for
several minutes."

Exactly how long
is several?

(MAN GROANS)

That's coming
from the cockpit.

I don't like
the sound of that.

Nothing to worry about.

We're on
automatic pilot.

I think I have
a little indigestion.

Oh!

Oh, my heavens!
What's the matter?

It's okay,
I'll be all right.

Somebody better tell
the co-pilot about this.

That's a good
idea, Benson.

Unfortunately,
we don't have one.

There is no co-pilot?
Then who's
flying the plane?

Well, as the pilot said,
it's on automatic.

Is that a nice way
of saying that

nobody's flying
this plane?

Oh, my God.

We're all going to die.

We're gonna crash!
We're gonna die!

Benson, if you slap me,
I'll slap you back.

All right, but get
control of yourself.

This is no
time to panic.

I'll take over
the controls.

Now you can panic.

What are you doing?
I thought we were
on automatic pilot.

Oh, that's okay
for now, but if we
hit an air pocket...

(IMITATES PLANE ENGINE)

Shouldn't you keep
both hands on the wheel?

This is a lot bigger
plane than I'm used to.

But you do know
what you're doing?

Actually, this
will be the first
real plane I've flown.

You said you
took lessons.

In a simulator.

This is the
first time I've flown

over four feet
off the ground.

Did we pass
the Rockies yet?

To tell you the truth,
I'm not sure where we are.

Nothing out there
looks familiar.

There should be
some aerial maps in
that pocket over there.

BENSON: I don't know how
to read these things.

Oh, I think I can.

You take the wheel
while I look at the maps.

Say what?

It's okay, Benson.

You just keep her
steady as you go.

These wheels
are synchronized,

so we have to be
careful what we do.

You put your
right hand on
your wheel

while I take my
right hand off and
reach for the map.

Ready?

Go.

Now the same
with the left hand.

Except, of course,
that I won't be
reaching for the map.

Ready?

Go.

Good.

Now you're
flying the plane.

Relax, Benson,
we're perfectly safe

as long as she
stays in the air.

I hope we got enough gas
to grow old gracefully.

Oh, the pilot's
in bad shape.

I guess the...

Oh, my God!

Benson's flying
the plane!

You mustn't take that
personally, Benson.
(CHUCKLES)

Are you kidding?
Those are my
sentiments exactly.

Did you find us
on the map yet?

You know what the
trouble with maps is?

Unless you know
where you are,

you can't figure out
where you're going.

Maybe I should try
to get somebody on the radio.

I wish I knew how.

Why don't you
take the wheel,
and I'll

try to find the radio?

Ready, get set...

Just take the wheel.

This baby is a lot easier
to fly than that simulator.

Any luck with the radio?

BENSON: Any one
of these dials
could be the radio.

How about that knob?

Oh, yeah.

The one marked "radio."

I hope it's the
right frequency.

Well, let's turn it on
and find out.

Let's just assume
it's the right frequency
and start talking.

Help!

Help! We're up here!

Somebody come up
and rescue us

before we're splattered
all over the countryside!

Help!

Hello? Help!

Help!

I don't think
it's a good idea

to broadcast your
distress signal
into the cabin.

You're scaring
the hell out of
us back there.

You're scared?

I could end up
being the first

black on
Mount Rushmore.

Help!

I hate to
bother you,

but your left
turn signal's on.

That isn't the
left turn signal, Marcy.

That's the low-fuel
warning light.

I was a lot happier when
it was the left turn signal.

Oh, don't worry.
We have a reserve tank...

(MARCY SIGHS)

If I could just
remember where
that switch is.

Help! Help!

Anybody out there?

I can't raise anybody
on this radio.

Just keep trying different
frequencies, Benson.

Governor, are you
writing a
farewell address?

No, I'm trying to figure
our fuel-consumption rate.

That'll tell us
how long this
reserve tank

will keep us in the air.

I hope the pilot's
feeling better.

So do I.

I was absent the day
we studied landings.

Well, there it is.
How much time we got?

According to my figures,
we've got enough fuel

for either an
hour and 41 minutes
or six weeks.

I guess six weeks
is too much to hope for.

Afraid so.

But what if the pilot's
not feeling any better

before we
run out of gas?

I'll just have to try
to land this baby myself.

I hope we're
near an airport.

I hope we're right-side up.

I hope you're kidding.

TV HOST: Mathovich
crosses the blue line
with the buck check

by Le Claire
and there
goes a fight!

Hit 'em with your stick!
Hit 'em with your stick!
(CHEERING ON TV)

Hi, Miss Kraus!

Hello, Liebling.

What're you watching?

The hockey game.

Doesn't that guy
have any teeth?

He keeps them
in his locker.

I'll go turn off
my record player
and watch with you.

Okay.

TV COMMENTATOR:
There still are bloody noses

but it looks like
they've stopped
the fight.

Eh.

REPORTER: ...out to the
Municipal Airport with this
live mini-cam report.

This is Bill Kent at
Municipal Airport,

where we have just learned
that a private plane carrying

Governor Gene Gatling

is missing on a
flight to Albuquerque.

Officials here
fear the worst.

Oh, no!
Oh, please, God.

BILL KENT: Mr. Dibilevski,
you've indicated to us

that your last contact
with the Governor's plane

was at 3:45 p.m.

Miss Kraus, you know
what I'd really like
for dinner tonight?

(STUTTERING)
What was that,
Liebling?

I was telling you what
I wanted for dinner.

But aren't we
gonna watch TV?

Uh, there's nothing on
but hockey.

What's the matter,
Miss Kraus?

Nothing...
Nothing, Liebling.

Let's, uh... Let's
you and I go
out for dinner.

But we can't.
Daddy's supposed
to be calling.

Oh, ja.

Ja, I forgot.

Benson, I need
to talk to you.

What is it, Marcy?

Well, Benson...

(MOUTHING)

Uh, Governor, I...

It's all right, Benson.

Everything's
under control.

I'll be right back.

I'll be here.

Keep 'em flying, ace.

What is it?

Where's the pilot?

He's in the restroom.

Is he feeling better?

He isn't
feeling anything.
He's dead.

Dead?

Yes.

No.
Yes.

I guess it was
a heart attack.

Oh, my God.

PETER: He went
just like that.

Women always
win, Benson.

Pete, not now.

They always win.

If I die before
the divorce is final,

Janine gets
everything.

(CHUCKLES)

Fate is funny,
isn't it, Benson?

Pete, will you
pull yourself together?

Benson, if you make it
and I don't, do me a favor.

Burn my Cordoba.

Janine doesn't deserve
rich Corinthian leather.

Pete, you're
gonna make it.

In fact, we're all
gonna make it.

All we have to do is
establish radio contact

so somebody on the ground
can talk the Governor down.

Benson, that
sort of thing

only works in
Charlton Heston
movies.

We're all going
to die unless somebody
does something.

So what do you
suggest we do?

Well, I found
three parachutes.

Well, I hate to
point this out, but
there are six of us.

So three of us
get parachutes,

and the rest get
floatation cushions.

None of us are
leaving this plane.

Well, I plan to jump.

Fine. Leave the parachutes
and close the door behind you.

We're getting
something on the radio.

MAN ON RADIO:
...restricted airspace
under the jurisdiction

of North American
air-defense command,

please identify yourself.

Hello! Hello!

This is Governor
Gatling's plane.

We're lost,
and we don't
have a pilot.

Nothing personal,
Governor.

MAN ON RADIO: Attention,
unidentified aircraft.

You have entered
restricted airspace.

Unless you
identify yourself,

we will be
forced to...
(STATIC)

Forced to what?
Hello? Hello?

Forced to what?

Calm down, Benson.

Governor, "Forced to"
sounds

very much like a threat.

Well, let's turn
back and see

if we can pick up
that radio signal again.

Hold on, Benson.
Gonna make
a right turn here.

Okay.

Look out for this jet
coming up on your wing.

There's a jet
coming up on the wing!

Governor, that's a
military jet! I think
we're in trouble!

You mean it isn't
one of ours?

PILOT: Tango leader,
This is tango four.

I have the bogey
in my sight.

No, no, no, no!
We're not bogeys!

We're Americans!

Hang on, Benson.
We're gonna take
evasive action.

No, no,
they've probably
got rockets.

PILOT: This is tango four.

Unidentified aircraft,
please identify yourself

on frequency
one-niner-niner
point seven.

(SQUEALS) I love
that kind of talk.

(SQUEALS)

I repeat,

please identify on frequency
one-niner-niner point seven.

I'm going
as fast as I can!

Roger, unidentified.
I read you now.

Please identify.

(SIGHS)

This is Governor
Gatling's plane!

That's where you are!

Everybody's been
looking for you guys.

Welcome to the Nevada
nuclear test range.

Nuclear test range?

I hope we're not
interrupting anything.

PILOT: What's your
current situation?

The pilot's dead,
an amateur's
flying the plane,

and we don't know
how to land.

Any suggestions?

Are you a religious man?

I see. I see.

Ja, ja, it's terrible.

Well, thank you
for telling me.

What's the matter,
Miss Kraus?

Uh, Katie, I...

I have something
very difficult
to tell you.

Katie, um...

Earlier I fibbed when I told
why your father didn't call.

The truth is,

the pilot of the plane
is very, very sick.

And, um, your father
is flying the airplane now.

They are on their way
to an airport in Las Vegas.

He has to try
und land the plane.

Are they gonna be
all right?

Katie, I don't know.

(BREATH TREMBLING)
I'm scared, Miss Kraus.

Yeah, me, too.

Oh, you're still
here, Clayton?
I thought you left.

Benson, do you realize
we are being followed

by two sinister-looking
planes?

They're not following us.

They're escorting us
to Las Vegas.
We're gonna land there.

The Governor can't
land this plane.

It's just not fair.

I've waited all my life
for someone like Dan.

Now I'm not even
gonna get the
chance to tell him.

Well, isn't that
just the way of life?

One day you
fall in love,

and the next day
you're in a
plane wreck.

Marcy, don't
think that way.

We'll make it.

You'll see Dan again.

Oh, come on,
Benson, face it.

Life has just
handed us
our pink slip.

I didn't come back here
to hear all this
moaning and groaning.

I just came back here
to tell you to fasten
your seatbelts,

extinguish your
cigarettes, and
bring your trays

to the
upright position.

Come on, listen, guys.
We're gonna be landing
in a few minutes,

and I just wanted
you to know

that even though
we've had
our differences,

you're all very
special to me.

Don't worry, Marcy.

He knows
we're gonna die.

Oh, shut up!

(STUTTERING) People do not
make speeches like that

unless you're
gonna die.

Well, I, for one,
am not just going to
strap myself in

and die like
some lemming.

What are you
gonna do?

The first thing I'm
going to do is get rid
of excess weight.

I'm not jumping.

I'm talking
about luggage.

No, not that!

If we live, I'm gonna
need my makeup case.

Marcy, my life is
more important

than 20 pounds
of lip gloss
and eyeliner.

Now, give me
this case!

Throw out your
own stuff!

As long as
we're gonna die,

I'd like to get
something off
my chest!

I think you're the
most inconsiderate,

self-centered,
egotistical boob

I've ever had the
misfortune to meet!

Self-centered and
egotistical mean
the same thing.

Oh, yeah.

(SIGHS)

You know,
I just realized

what would be
the worst thing
about dying.

It's not the things
I'd miss, like
sunsets and Christmas.

Divorce court.

It's not even the things
I'd never get to do...

Like having children.

The worst is the people
who are left behind...

Knowing how
it'll hurt them.

MAN: Governor,
this is Vegas control.

Stay on your current
compass heading,

and you'll reach your
approach vector
in three minutes.

Thank you,
Vegas control.
(CONTROL KNOB CLICKS OFF)

How's it going,
Governor?

I'm thinking
positive thoughts, Benson.

PILOT: Governor,
This is tango four.

I had to veer off
for a minute.

Somebody was
throwing luggage at me.

You're on
your own now.

Good luck.
I'm heading
back to base.

Couldn't bear
to watch, eh?

Well, Benson, now it's just
you and me and the plane.

And the runway.

Listen, Benson,

it's gonna get pretty busy
around here in a few minutes,

and I might not get
a chance to say this, so...

Thank you.

For what?

For seeing me
the way I see me.

I know a lot of people
think I'm an airhead

and I don't know
what's going on.

You always
seem to realize

that when I can't keep up
with the small talk,

it's because I'm thinking
more important things.

Right now at the very top
of my list of priorities

is thank you.

You know
what I'm saying?
I do.

There, you
see what I mean?

Keep your hands
on the wheel.

You know what's going
through my head right now?
Mmm.

All the scrapes
I've been in,
all the surviving.

I remember one time
when I was 14,

a gang chased me
down an alley for
my newspaper money.

I talked my way
out of that one.

Then when I was in Korea,

I got pinned
in a mud-hole
for 13 hours.

Shot my way
out of that one.

And now I'm up here
in this situation.

I sure miss Korea.

MAN: Governor,
this is Vegas tower again.

You're on
your final approach.

Do you remember
everything we discussed

about the landing?

Trim, watch air speed, flaps,
pull back on the throttle.

Uh...

There's one more thing.

Oh, landing gear!

He's ready.

MAN: Okay, you
ought to be seeing

the runway lights
about now.

Oh, there they are
over to the left.

I don't think so,
Governor.

Tower, please advise.

Does your runway
have a neon flamingo?

MAN: Negative. Negative.
Bear to your right.

That's the Las Vegas strip.

Okay, we have you
on visual.

There's the runway.

Here we go.

MAN: You're looking good.

Looking good.

Steady as she goes.

Steady as she goes.

Level her off.

Level her off.
Level her off.

Keep the nose up.

Keep the nose up.
Keep the nose up.

A little more flaps.

A little more flaps.
A little more flaps.

Ease back
on the throttle.

Ease back on the throttle.
Ease back on the throttle.

Okay, you're
about to touch.

About to touch.
About to touch.

(TIRES SCREECH)
You're down.

We're down.

We're down.
We're down.

We're down!

(LAUGHS)

MAN: Oh! Hit the brakes!

(TIRES SCREECH)

We made it.

We made it!

I can have children!

Clayton, we made it!

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

That seems
rather obvious.

They did?
Oh, wow!

Katie, they made it!
Ahh!

They made it!
They made it!
They made it!

(LAUGHS)

Well, Benson,
shall we join
the others?

Uh, not yet,
Governor.
Why not?

Because my knees
are shaking so bad
I can't stand up.

Oh, I see
what you mean.

Benson, as we
were landing,

did your whole life
flash in front of your eyes?

I don't know.

I had 'em closed.

You too, huh?

Uh, Marcy,
these need
to be typed.

My, my, my.

Aren't we extravagant.

Another designer
original we're wearing?

Well, I'm glad
you like it, Clayton.

You're paying for it.

I beg your pardon?

You threw the rest
of my clothing

out of the plane,
remember?

Marcy...

I am perfectly willing
to reimburse you...

Well, thank you.

...if you can provide me
with the receipts.

Good news, guys.

Nevada State Police called.
They have our luggage.

Terrific!
Yeah, and I'm
off the hook.

No so fast.

It seems an old
prospector was the one
who found our luggage.

Well, was it damaged?

No, the luggage
survived the fall,

but the prospector wants
$600 from you, Clayton.

What, as a reward?

No, damages.

Your suitcase bombing
killed his mule.