Benson (1979–1986): Season 2, Episode 5 - First Lady - full transcript

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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh!

Watch it, watch it
watch it.
(SIGHS)

You surprised me
Benson.

I thought you'd
let me fall.

Well, you
caught me off-guard.

I'm glad you
were there

I could've broken
my tureen.

Nah, I'd better not
touch that one.

I'll be right back.

I have to
show this to Lily.



All right, people.

Gather round,
gather round.
(CLEARS THROAT)

(HUMMING)

Come now, Benson,
the sooner
we get finished,

the sooner I can
get out of here.

Promise?

This Trans-Allied deal

is of crucial importance
to the future of our state.

It could mean 3000
new job openings.

I sure hope,
one of them
is yours.

Leon J. Whitley,

is the owner
of Trans-Allied.

He is going to be
a guest in this mansion

and he is a very
demanding man.



His smallest demand

is absolute perfection.

So, until we get
his signature on
the dotted line,

we are going to
stroke Mr. Whitley
and pamper Mr. Whitley

and do everything
Mr. Whitley wants.

Now, let me see
the seating chart
for the dinner.

As soon as
it's finished.

You haven't
finished it?

I haven't
started it.

And why not?

Because I don't have
a list of the guests.

(SCOFFS)
I don't believe this.

I am surrounded
by incompetence.

Now, someone
was supposed to
provide a guest list

and exactly whose
job was that?

Yours.

Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, well, in that case,
I'm sure I must have

delegated it.
Morning.

Ask Marcy.

Ask Marcy what?

About a guest list for
the Trans-Allied reception.

Clayton gave it
to Lily to approve.

"Show Lily this."
"Show Lily that."

Where did he ever
dig her up, anyway?

Clayton brought her in
because she
knows Mr. Whitley.

That's why she's
the official hostess.

And let's face it.
It can't hurt
the Governor

to have a competent
and attractive
woman by his side.

Then, Marcy,
you could have
done that.

No way.

Well, I could have done it.

No way.

Hey, you guys.
Anybody know
where my father is?

Well, he's been
in conference
all morning, hon.

Well, if you see him,
tell him his
daughter says hello.

Better make that
his daughter, Katie.

Honey, I know you
haven't seen very much
of your father lately,

but he's been
awfully busy making
arrangements

for the reception
with Lily.

Oh, Marcy.
Hi, Daddy!

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Don't you look
pretty this morning.

What'd you think
of the story I wrote
for English class?

Oh, I haven't had
time to read it
yet, sweetheart

but I will.

Marcy... Oh, darn.

Now, what did I want
to see you about?

I'm afraid
I don't know, sir.

No, no, no
of course you don't.
I don't even know.

Something I was
supposed to do.

Read my
English paper?
Well, that, too.

Ah, Marcy, here's
the guest list
for the reception.

Thanks Lily.
Oh, that was it,

the guest list!

Here you go, sir.
Thank you, Marcy.

Here you go, Benson.
That was fun.

Let's change places
and do it again.

Gene, in exactly
20 minutes,

you're meeting the
Trans-Allied lawyers
at the Capitol building.

Oh, well, then
we'd better hustle.

Afterwards I'm going
to take you to lunch

at my favorite
Japanese restaurant.

Oh, I love Japanese.

Do I have time
to change my socks?

I think our
official hostess

just asked the Governor
for an unofficial lunch.

What do you
think of her, Benson?

Who, Lily?

I think she's
very nice.

Yeah.

It's just weird to see
Daddy with a girlfriend.

Katie, Lily is just your
father's official hostess.

It's like a job.

She's just here to
greet people with him,

go to cocktail parties
with him,

have dinner with him,
and dance with him,
that's all.

Like I said, it's weird
to see Daddy
with a girlfriend.

Here you go, Marcy.

One seating chart.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, that's much cooler.

Things under control?

Yeah, somewhere.

You ever get
in touch with that
air-conditioning man?

Yeah, I spoke to his
answering machine.

He sounds like
a very competent man.

I hope to
meet him someday.

(GROANS)

Marcy, make a copy
of this VIP list for me.

Ah, Benson, I'm

delighted to
see you here.

I'm sure you are, Clayton.
What is it?

Do you notice
anything peculiar?

You sure you
want him to
answer that?

I am referring to
the bead of
perspiration

above my left brow.

Nice touch.

Gives you a
human quality.

Benson, I
never perspire.

I am hot.
And it's
your fault.

You two want
to be alone?

The air-conditioner
is broken.

That is why
it is hot.

I'm working on it.

Have you called
the repair people?

Yes, I left a message
at the beep.

Leon J. Whitley
demands

that every room
he enters

be exactly 65 degrees,
no more, no less.

He carries his own
thermometer with
him to make sure.

Sounds like a
fruitcake to me.

You're right, Benson.

We are dealing with
a powerful,
powerful fruitcake.

And if things
don't go exactly
according to plan

right down to
the last
meticulous detail,

this state can
bid a fond farewell
to 3,000 jobs.

Make that 3,001.

Yours.

Do I make myself
perfectly clear?

Uh-huh.
And when

Mr. Whitley is
through with
his thermometer,

I have a perfect
place to put it.

Hi, Benson.
Is my dad here?
No, sugar.

I'll wait here
till he gets back.

Hey, Benson, there's
a guy in the kitchen

with 80 pounds
of liver pate.

That wasn't supposed
to be here until tomorrow.

Ah, wonderful, Benson.

Where are you
going to put
80 pounds of pate?

On a Ritz cracker.

Where have
you been, Peter?

Hey, what's it to you?

Please, spare me
your macho moments.

I had a photographer
getting pictures

of Lily and
the Governor
at lunch.

Pete, did Daddy
come back with you?

Why do you need
pictures of them?

Well, I got a feeling
about those two.

You know, I wouldn't
be surprised to see
statehouse nuptials.

What a headline.
"Governor picks a Lily."
(CHUCKLES)

What are nuptials?

If we told you,
you'd never really
learn the word.

Dictionary's
on the desk.

You know, it would be
great for his image
if he got married again.

Married?

"When you hear the beep,
leave your message."

Beep!
Hello, Herb!

This is me, Benson, again
from the Governor's mansion.

The air-conditioner's
still broke, Herb.

It didn't cure itself.

You have such
a wonderful voice.

I hope to meet
you someday.

Would you like to know
what I look like?

I'll describe myself.

I'm an angry black man
with flaring nostrils.

Now, Herb,
listen here...

How do you like that?
Herb's machine
hung up on me.

What are you doing?

Calling him back.

Benson?
In a minute,
Liebling.

Benson hasn't
finished making

a fool of himself yet.

You in charge?

Completely.

Delivery.
Sign here, please.
He'll do it.

It's me again, Herb.

Uh, I need
a signature.

She'll do it.
Herb, listen.

What's the matter?
You got a broken arm?

No. You want one?

Herb, listen,
I'm gonna talk
to you like a father.

Now, if you're not
over here in one hour,

I'm gonna tell your mama.

Lady.

I'm not signing
anything

until I know
what it's for.

It's 200 Cornish
game hens.

I hate those
bite-sized chickens.

Too bad, it's
Mr. Whitley's favorite.

He thinks everyone
should eat it.

Lady, I ain't
got all day.

Oh, all right.
Come on.

I'll show you
where to put them.

Okay, Katie,
what can I
do for you?

Oh, excuse me.
I'm looking for Benson.

You're too late.
He died.

No! I just
spoke to him
this morning.

He went fast.

Then it's not too late
to freeze him till
they find a cure.

Freeze him?
Yeah, they call that
"cryogenics."

Many are called,
but few are frozen.

Hey, you mind
if I use that?

Cryogenics is a
hobby of mine.

But ice sculpture
is my life.

Being hassled is mine.
I'm Benson.

Ralph Krupnick.

Then you're the guy
who's gonna do
the ice statue.

Oh, that's cold!

Sorry,
occupational hazard.

So, uh,

what kind of statue
you want for tomorrow?

Surprise me.
Okay, If you
step over here,

I'll show you
a few examples
of my work.

I'll talk to you
later, Benson.

All right, sweetheart.

Slides?

Ice doesn't
travel very well.

Polar bear.
We'll take it.

Don't rush into anything.
Here, look at this one.

A whale. I love whales.
We'll take a whale.

Select.
Don't settle.

Another whale.

That's impossible.
I don't have two.

My mistake.
It's my wife
in Miami.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Would you excuse me
a minute?

Hello?

Herb? Live?
Not recorded?

I can't believe it!

When can you get
a man over here?

What? You're
coming yourself?

Be still my heart!

Flowers!

Who's that for?
Uh, Benson.

You Benson?
Yeah, me Benson.

Well, then
it's for you, lucky.

I ordered flowers
for the table,
not the stable.

Hey, Herb, listen here.
Herb? Herb?

Wait a minute.
No, listen.

Get over here early
in the morning.

No, no, don't
tell me to cool it.

That's your job.

Benson, did you know the
air-conditioner's broken?

Loosen your tie.
It is loose.

Well, tighten it.

Hey, this horseshoe
is terrific.

It's not ours.
It's gotta go back.

No, wait, it can't.

Listen, we'll have
Katie hand it to Whitley.

It'll make a
great picture.

Pete's our image man.
Ralph's our ice man.

Ice sculpture.

Oh. Sorry,
occupational hazard.

Would you like
to see my slides?
Sure.

Oh, wow, I
love your work.
It's so lifelike.

It looks just like
a fat lady on the sand.

That's my wife.

Oh.

She got a
lovely smile.

So, how'd you
get into this
line of work?

It's the
Krupnick tradition.

It's interesting.

I promised my father,
may he rest in peace,

that Krupnick Ice
would live forever.

He must have been
very proud of you.
He was.

Would you like
to see him?

What? You have a picture
of your father?

I have my father.

You have your father?
Well, not with me.

He's back at
the ice house, frozen.

Benson...
Oh, excuse me.

Am I interrupting
something?

Fortunately, yes.

Governor, this is
Ralph Krupnick.

How do you do?
Ooh! (CHUCKLES)

Sorry,
occupational hazard.

Oh, yeah, I had
a job once
that involved

occupational hazard.

What job was that?
Combat.

I was in the Navy
on a Destroyer
in the Coral Sea,

and people were
trying to kill me.

Oh, not our people,
of course. The enemy.

Although we did
have some

fairly rough times
in San Diego.

You see, back then...

Uh, Governor,
is there something
you wanted to ask me?

Oh! Yeah.
Is it hot in here
or is it me?

Yes, it's hot in here.
The air-conditioner's broken.

Oh, good.

I was afraid
I was having
hot flashes.

I'm not getting
any younger.

Well, there's a
lot of that
going around.

Daddy, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you.
Have you got a minute?

Of course I do,
sweetheart.

Will you help me decide
what dress to
wear for tomorrow?

Honey, I'd love to.
Great.

I'll go get the dress
and be right back.
Now, don't move.

Oh, is it all right
if I get a
glass of water?

Okay, I'll be
right back.

I bet if you showed
me the room, I'd
get an inspiration.

I bet if you found it
yourself, I'd get
some work done.

All right,
I'll you more slides.

All right,
I'll show you
the room.

It was nice to
have met you, sir.

You don't meet the
Governor of the
state every day.

I do.
Occupational hazard.

Gene, Whitley's
limousine is here.

Oh, I'll bet
Whitley's furious.

He won't be here
till tomorrow.

No, no, no Gene,
you misunderstand.

Whitley is here now.

He came a day early.

Arriving unexpectedly
is one of his quirks.

He likes to catch people
with their pants down.

Oh, you'd think
with all his money,

he'd rather play golf.

I'm back!
Ran all the way.

Daddy?

Oh, wait till you
see it, Benson.

This afternoon,
Katie proudly
handing Whitley

the horseshoe of flowers.
Everybody's smiling.

It's gonna make
a great picture.

Well, maybe I'll
like it better when
I see it framed.

Oh, Benson, how's the
air-conditioning coming?

Repair man should
be done any moment.
(SIGHS)

In time to save
the whale.

Oh, is that
what it's gonna
be, a whale?

Isn't that fascinating?

How'd you get into
this line of work?

Uh, my father
was in ice.

Still is.

Excuse me,
Governor, have you...
(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Benson,
if you see Lily,

will you tell her
I'm not in my office?

Yes, one minute.
Benson, it's the
florist on the phone.

They said the
horseshoe was
delivered by mistake.

Too late.
Pete wants it
for a picture.

Well, what should
I tell him?
Be creative.

Uh, I'm sorry.

Benson's not here
right now.

When will he be back?

Um, I don't know.

You see, the police
just took him away.

That's right,
the police.

Yes, he did
seem nice,
didn't he?

We were all
very surprised, too.

What's that?

Yes, if he beats the rap,
I'll have him call you.

Bye.

Thank you so much.

What are friends for?

Benson, can I
talk to you
for a minute?

It's getting late.
Shouldn't you be
getting dressed?

This is important,
Benson.
What is it?

Well, I'm finished.
You see, herb?

Once you decided
to fix it, it didn't
take long at all.

It didn't take me long
because I didn't fix it.

Benson, about
Daddy and Lily.

You didn't fix it?
Keep calm.

The parts will be in
on the 15th,

give or take a week.
Parts?

Benson, is anybody
we know getting married?

Katie, please.
You're gonna
have to find a way

to fix that
air-conditioner.

Benson, the stoves
aren't working.

Maybe the
pilot light's out.

Oh, no, I had to
turn the gas off

to check the
air-conditioner.

Well, then
turn it back on.
I can't.

I broke the handle.
Call the gas company.

You call the gas company.

How can I serve
200 Cornish game hens

that are only
half-cooked?

Tell them it's a
German recipe.

Are you gonna sign
for this or what?

No. I'm not gonna
sign for it.

Benson, my ice
is melting.

Talk to this guy.

Benson, Whitley
wants a sandwich.
He's hungry.

I don't do
sandwiches.

Do I have to
take a number
or something?

Katie, go upstairs
and get dressed.

Okay, don't
sign for it.

We're gonna send you
the bill anyway.

What about the
stoves, Benson?

What about the
sandwich, Benson?

"Benson this."
"Benson that."

Let me ask you
something, Ralph.

Do they have to be
dead before you
can freeze 'em?

That goes to the table
on the south lawn.

Make sure
they got plenty
of punch out there.

Benson, have you
seen Katie?

No, why?
Well, Pete's
looking for her.

Well, I'm not surprised
he can't find her.

I have never seen
such confusion.
It's a disaster.

Oh, come on, Gretchen.

With no stove and no
air-conditioning,

moving the party
outside was inspired.

Inspired?
We start with an
elegant reception,

und he turns it
into a picnic.

Kraus, believe me,
working with you
is never a picnic.

Oh, don't
let her get to you.

Everyone loves
the barbecue.

I think you
saved the day.

But not my whale.

Anybody need
32 gallons
of ice water?

Come on, Ralph.
Let's join the party.

It'll make you
feel better.

I'm really not in
a party mood now
that my whale's gone.

Oh, don't be down.
You still have your father.

We're ready for
the pictures of
Whitley and the flowers,

and now I can't
find Katie.

I've looked
all over for her.

Ah, Peter,
there you are.

Mr. Whitley is
growing impatient.

Where is Katie?
Oh, Katie?
Oh, don't worry.

I'll bring her along
in a minute.

You'd better.
Whitley's ready
to walk.

Lovely barbecue,
Benson.

We're trying to
impress the president

of one of the world's
largest conglomerates,

and the Governor
of our state is wearing
an apron that says,

"Kiss me.
I'm the cook."

Benson, you've
got to help me
find Katie.

Pete, I've got
my hands full here.

The Governor is
depending on you.
I'm depending on you.

You should have stopped
at the Governor.

I've got 200 people
waiting out there

to be fed.
What about them?

We've got 3,000 jobs
on the line.

What about them?
Oh, all right.

Oh, thanks, Benson.

Well, get going!

You mind if I grab a bite
while you're looking?

That depends.
Would you mind

if I grabbed
your throat while
you're eating?

Get out!

Katie! Katie!

Hi.

"Hi"?

I've been looking
all over for you,
young lady.

Well, here I am.

Why aren't you
at the party?
Because.

Because?
Is that all
you have to say?

I'm a woman of few words.

Well, I'm a man
of little patience.

I noticed that.
In the living room.

So, that's the problem.

Well, Katie, things have
been so busy around here

the past few days

and just plain crazy since
Mr. Whitley arrived.

But, Katie, you should
know I didn't mean
to snap at you.

I didn't mean
to snap at you,
either, Benson.

But that doesn't
solve things between
me and my daddy.

But running away
and hiding won't help.

If you have a problem
with your father,
you should talk to him.

I've tried
talking to him.

But he's always too busy.

Well, now isn't
the best time.

But he's not too busy
for Lily.

And after they get married,
she'll move in,

and then he'll
never have
any time for me.

Now, just
hold on a minute.

Who said anything
about your father
getting married?

Pete, Clayton...

Everybody's
talking about it.

Maybe now is
the best time.

You stay here.
I'll go get your father.

And, Katie,
one other thing.
What's that?

While you're sitting there,

don't sign your
father's name
to anything.

Okay, smile.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Gorgeous.

Okay, now, if we
could just hold that

for one more and smile.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Uh, Peter, perhaps we
could get a picture

of Mr. Whitley
signing the contract?

Not till my lawyer's
finished reading
the contracts.

I believe they've
read them three times, sir.

Then they'll read them
nine more times if necessary.

Of course, sir.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Well, then, Peter,
why don't you
get them shaking hands?

Clayton, I know
how to do this.

Okay, uh...

Could we have
the two of you
shaking hands?

Great. Smile.

Don't you have
enough yet?

In case you haven't
noticed, the heat in here
is unbearable.

Right, sir. Now, if
I could just have you
under the words

"Trans-Allied,"
Mr. Whitley.

(SIGHS)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

I'm sorry,
this dance is taken.

Where do you think
you're going?

To see the Governor.
Can't you see
he's busy?

Not with you
blocking my view.

Oh, that's a gem.

Now, if we could
just get a smile,
Mr. Whitley.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Haven't you caused
enough damage
for one day?

That depends on
how soon you
let go of my arm.

Benson!
PETER: Now
with the banner.

Excuse me, Governor.
Smile!

(CAMERA CLICKS)

We have a
small emergency.

If it's small,
it can wait.
PETER: Smile!

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Does that do it?

It's not quite
what I wanted.

What's the
problem, Benson?

It's Katie.
I think you should
talk to her.

Uh, no problem, sir.

You're free
tomorrow at 10:00.

If you could
switch positions

so that you're
to the right
of the Governor.

Uh, get a little
grin going here.

PETER:
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, smile!

(CAMERA CLICKS)

What about Katie?

She's hiding
in your office.

Uh, It's a
small office.

I'm sure
we'll find her.

PETER: Okay,
big smiles, everybody.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Well, why's she
hiding in my office?

Maybe there's
an air-conditioner
in there.

No, no, no,
the whole system's out.

She's heard
a lot of gossip.

She thinks you're
getting married.
PETER: Smile.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Married?
Who would
I marry?

Lily Maxwell?

No. I don't think so.

But Katie does,
and she's afraid
of losing you, sir.

Oh, I see.
Well, I better
talk to her.

You all
excuse me,
please.

Governor. Benson.

Well, if I'm not needed
any longer...

Oh, wait, Mr. Whitley,
Benson, please.

Uh, I'd like to get
some shots
of you smiling...

(NERVOUSLY)
If you don't mind.

I do mind.

Well, I'm glad
I haven't signed
those papers yet.

Let me tell you
something.

If I ran Trans-Allied

as sloppily as
your Governor runs
a social event,

I wouldn't have
a company to move
to this state.

You're right,
Mr. Whitley.
'Course I'm right.

An event like this
shouldn't break down.

It should run like
a well-oiled machine.

I hear you talking,
Mr. Whitley.

Trans-Allied's
reputation is
built upon

the customer's
confidence that we
can deliver the goods.

Yes, sir,
deliver the goods!

And when we deliver
those goods, they work.

I couldn't agree
with you more.

I mean, who cares
how hard
everybody worked

to make this party
a success?

It's a shambles
and all because of one
crummy air-conditioner

only a month old!

A month old?
Why didn't you
get it repaired?

Couldn't get the parts.

Well, serves you right.

You should have
ordered a Trans-Allied
air conditioner.

We did.
Trans-Allied is...
It's one of ours?

Pete, try not
to leak that
to the press.

Press? Uh,
hold on there
a minute, Benson.

Could prove
embarrassing, huh?

(NERVOUSLY)
Aren't you being a
little bit unreasonable?

I don't think so.

Everybody worked
very hard

to make this
a fine reception
for you.

But all we got
from you and
your air-conditioner

was a lot of hot air.

Now, we can't
do much about
the air-conditioner.

But as for you?
Lighten up.

Well, I...

I suppose I have
been a little bit
of a... A...

Pick a word.
It'll be right.

So, uh, Mr. Whitley,
how about
one more picture.

This time
with a smile?

Well.

You heard the man.
Smile!

(GROANS)
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

May I come in?

Honey, when
Benson said you'd
come in here to hide,

it made perfect
sense to me.

Lord knows I have
come in here
to hide many a time.

I always
get found, too.

Katie...

Don't you think
if I were gonna
get married

I'd have told
you myself

instead of waiting
for you to find it out
someplace else?

Then you're not
gonna marry Lily?

No.

Because you love me more?

Honey, it's not a contest.

The day may come
when there is another
woman in my life.

I may even marry her.

Will you love her?

I expect so.
(CHUCKLES)

I'm not the type
to marry for money.

But, sweetheart,
it won't change how
I feel about you.

I mean,

what if you
were to marry, uh...

What is his name,
with the freckles?

Roger?
Roger, right.

Roger. What if you
decided to marry Roger?

Daddy, Roger's a creep.

You might change your mind.
And what if you did?

And you love him.

Would you
still love me?

Sure.

You mean you'd
love both of us
at the same time?

Yeah.

They're different
kinds of love, right?

Right.

Honey...

No matter what happens,

I will always
love you just as much
as I do today.

And I'll always love you.

Daddy?
Mm-hmm?

Can we go
to the barbecue now?
Sure.

I'm starved.
Oh, me, too.

And listen, later on,

maybe we can roast
some marshmallows

over the barbecue.

I might tell
a few stories.

Oh, um, yeah.

Or maybe we could
have a sing-along?

Well, Benson, we did it.
Whitley signed the papers

and Trans-Allied
starts construction

of the new plant
next month.

Congratulations, sir.

Oh, no, you
did it, Benson.

You won
Whitley over.

No, I didn't
win him over.

He insisted on fixing
the air-conditioner
and I let him.

Is that why
it's so cold
in here?

Yes, it is cold
isn't it?

He didn't seem
to be happy

unless he had
a wrench in his hand.

Well, he certainly
seemed happy

at the barbeque.
(CHUCKLES)

You know, I never
figured him
for a tenor.

Well, as I remember
correctly, sir.

He was singing bass
until Kraus spilled the
barbeque sauce on him.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)