Benson (1979–1986): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Layoff - full transcript

Benson has to layoff some of the staff and among the ones he has on the block is the kindly pastry chef.

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(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOG BARKING)

Miss Kraus. Speaking.

What do you know
about candied yams?

They are very good
with roast turkey.

Well, according to this,

you bought six cases of them.

I got a very good bargain.

You call this a bargain?

You keep getting bargains like
this and we're gonna go broke.

I cannot concern
myself with that.



Miss Kraus, we're
supposed to be cutting back,

which we discussed at the
staff meeting this morning,

which I note you didn't attend.

Oh, did I miss
your little meeting?

Yes. Did it slip
your little mind?

I have heard all about
this budget business

und I am not buying it.

You're too busy
buying everything else.

It's not your money.

Well, we pay taxes
that go for that stuff.

So it's your money
and my money, too.

With my share, I
bought candied yams.

What are you doing?

Pruning trees.



What does it look
like I'm doing?

There's nothing wrong with
that bulb and you changed it.

It's Wednesday.

I change all the
bulbs on Wednesday.

You mean you go around here

and change bulbs
before they blow?

I also eat before
I starve to death.

Who hired you?

We got a contract
with the state, mister.

No more bulb
changing, that's it.

Mister, what do you care?

It's the state's money.

It's stealing.

What stealing?

Did I come in here with a gun
and say hand over your bulbs?

No more bulb changing.
We'll change our own bulbs.

Fine, I'm leaving.

My luck, I had to come in

and change Ralph Nader's bulb.

Good morning, Benson.

Do you know we got a
guy who comes in here

and changes light bulbs
before the old ones are worn?

Good morning, Benson.

You said that.

I know.

Good morning, Marcy.

Thank you.

Miss Ellie, are you baking
something special today?

Seven layer chocolate cake.

Will you save the
icing bowl for me?

Don't I always?

Come on, Katie, your ride is
waiting to take you to school.

Okay. Goodbye, Miss Ellie.

Bye, Katie.

Goodbye, Benson.
Goodbye, sweetheart.

Sorry to have missed the
meeting this morning, Benson.

I hope you brought a
note from your mother.

Oh, Benson, I just
missed my bus.

I almost caught
it at the signal.

The spirit was willing
but the ankles were weak.

Miss Ellie, sit! Have tea.

Kraus can make God bless
you sound like an order.

Und will you have
some of your own pastry?

No, thank you, Gretchen.

And I thought you were
watching your figure.

I'm glad somebody is.

All right, read the
speech again, Governor.

What was wrong with
the way I just read it?

Everything.

Sir, you have to deliver this

to the state
employee's association.

Now they know these
layoffs are coming

and they're going to be hostile.

So, you have to be forceful.

Oh, where would
you like me to begin?

From the beginning.

And forceful. Good idea.

"Fellow citizens,

"we all share a common goal.

"To reach the objective that we have
mutually decided is in our best interest.

(SOFTLY) "Together we
can work toward that end

(MUMBLING) "in the spirit..."

(MUMBLING)

You're not selling
it, sir. Sell it.

How can I sell it? It
doesn't make any sense.

Of course it doesn't. I
wrote it that way on purpose.

That doesn't make
any sense, either.

But if you don't say anything,
you can't offend anyone.

Oh, Taylor, just saying fellow
citizens will offend somebody.

We can't please all
the people all the time.

That's why we have to face
up to this layoff problem head-on

and not hide behind
a lot of empty phrases.

We've got to call
a spade a spade.

And right after you call him
that, you better run like hell.

No. Benson, I hope
you didn't misunderstand.

No, I get the point.

No, no, no, we were talking
about laying people off.

Well, that figures. We're
usually the first to go.

No, no, no, that
wasn't it at all.

Governor, Benson
understands that.

Now the 20% layoff...
Are you sure, Benson?

The 20%... Well,
of course, Governor.

We'll be with you
in a minute, Benson.

The 20%... I can wait.

The 20% layoff will eliminate
all superfluous personnel.

Superfluous personnel?

He means people.

Taylor, this state may be able to
function without certain services,

but people are
never superfluous.

Well, almost never.

Percentages don't
mean very much to me.

How many people
are... Am I about to fire?

Um, 6,000.

Six... Thousand?

Give or take a few hundred.

Boy, am I glad I don't
have your job, Governor.

Benson, do you have any
idea how I became governor?

Don't blame it on me.
I didn't vote for you.

No, no, no, no, of course not.

Well, I was elected on
my campaign promise

to cut taxes and reduce waste.

Now, I've got to
keep that promise.

Benson, I'm afraid
reduction in personnel

includes this household.

Unfortunately, you'll have
to fire 20% of the help.

What, are you talking to me?

Aren't you director
of household affairs?

Well, I must be
doing a good job,

'cause ain't nobody in this
household having an affair.

Uh, Governor, I've
never fired anybody.

I have, back at the paper mill.

Old Frank Moody.

He ran one of the buzz saws,

but he loved his bourbon and
he kept cutting off his finger.

So, I had to stop him
while he could still scratch.

So I fired him.

That was 20 years ago.

I hope I haven't lost the knack.

20% of the staff?

Benson, you're blowing
this up out of all proportion.

It comes to only five people.

Oh, sir, I don't
know how to do it.

Well, it isn't easy.

I remember it took
me three hours

and half a bottle of
bourbon to fire old Frank.

Multiply it by 6,000.
That's a lot of bourbon.

It's part of your job, Benson.

And there's no other way?

TAYLOR: Oh, come on, Benson.

Certainly it must have occurred
to you that sooner or later

a member of the household
staff would have to be fired.

Yeah.

But I always thought
it would be me.

I've got some more, Benson.

Marcy, do you believe we've
got a man who does nothing

but turn on the lawn sprinklers?

He doesn't do
anything else at all?

He turns them off.

I sure don't envy you this job.

I know I couldn't do it.

I'm just not...
Cold-blooded enough.

Yes, thank you, Miss Kraus.

I think, for the
sake of staff morale,

we should keep
the layoffs a secret.

Good idea.

Benson, is it true
you're the hatchet man?

The whole staff's wondering

who you're gonna
give the axe to first.

I said it was a rumor.

You wouldn't fire
anyone. Right, Benson?

Katie, I think your
father's calling you.

All the way from the capitol?

Uh, sweetheart, sometimes
we have to do things

we don't want to do.

Just following orders?

Who are you gonna fire?

Nobody anybody'd miss!

Administrations come,
administrations go, Benson, und I stay.

Why? Because I
am an institution.

And you belong in one.

Who you got there?

Thelma Nagel, the seamstress.

He's gonna fire Mrs. Nagel?

Oh, honey, of course he isn't.

Benson's simply
reviewing personnel files.

Not Thelma, Benson, you can't.

When was the last time the
governor needed a formal gown?

The woman's got nothing to do.

Well, she does, too.

At this very moment she's
monogramming the cocktail napkins.

(EXCLAIMING) Pardonnez moi.

Benson, Mr. Nagel ran away.

Benson, Thelma has
three little children.

No bedridden mother? Sister.

Thank you.

Well, I hope we can get along
without an assistant groundskeeper

to turn the lawn sprinklers on.

What's his name? Haggarty.

Hap Haggarty? Yeah.

Well, prepare for a little
statewide resistance.

Hap's famous.

For turning on lawn sprinklers?

For World War II.

He's our most highly
decorated veteran.

(SIGHING)

Walter Whitley, is he
somebody's mama?

Who? Walter Whitley.

Never heard of him.
Good, I'll check him out.

Great, now could I put the rest
of these away? Except that one.

Oh, Benson, not Miss Ellie.

No, Benson, please.

Over my dead body.

Hmm.

Miss Ellie can't leave, Benson.

She's showing me how to make
a pie crust and bake brownies

and teaching me
how to play poker.

For cookies.

Look, I feel the same way,

but everyone else here
does an essential job.

Miss Ellie is a luxury.

The taxpayers won't stand for
the governor keeping a pastry chef.

The high living is over.

Find something else
for Miss Ellie to do.

Well, there isn't
anything else, sweetheart.

She's my friend, Benson.

You're my friend.

Will you help her?

Friends help each
other, right, Benson?

Whenever they can, Katie.

Oh, Benson!

It is not easy. I know, Benson.

I once had to fire my mother.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he's...
He's a terrific guy, yeah.

Did I mention he's a war hero?

I did?

Well, he's very good with water.

Turns it on and off, mostly.

Yeah, I'll hold.

Benson, Mrs. Nagel got the job.

And it pays more than
she was getting here.

What doesn't?

No, no, Ralph. What kind of job?

Uh-huh, and what does a
flood control engineer do?

Oh, that's what he does best.

How much does it pay?

Hmm, that much, eh?

Do you need two?

No, no, no, okay.

Okay, tomorrow morning at 9:00.

Thank you very much.

Any luck with Miss Ellie?

Well, they like her
references and experience.

But when they find out
how old she is they hang up.

Well, Benson, Miss
Ellie is 75 years old.

She's built up a
very nice pension.

She'll probably love retirement.

Let us hope so, because she's
going to retire any minute now.

I sent for her.

Anything to nibble?

Problem?

Firing people can be, yes.

Benson, you'll get used to it.

You may even grow to like it.

And just between the two of us,

don't deny that it gives you
a certain sense of power.

He has to fire Miss Ellie. What?

That sweet little old lady?

My Lord, what kind of
a man are you, Benson?

Are you completely
devoid of feelings?

Any crackers?

Anyone like some homemade fudge?

Why, thank you
very much, Miss Ellie.

I don't know what we'd do
without you around here, Miss Ellie.

Marcy, I thought this
might brighten up your desk.

Thank you.

I'm making something
special for you and Gretchen.

Strawberry tarts.

Good, it will give him
something to choke on.

Is Gretchen angry with you?

She's just kidding.

She's got a great
sense of humor.

Really?

I've known her over 20
years and never noticed.

You asked to see me.

Yes, ma'am.

Uh... Miss Ellie...

How do you find time for roses,

strawberry tarts and making
everybody feel so happy?

That's my whole life, Benson.

Doing little things for
people here at the mansion.

You have to have a purpose
in life or you shrivel up and die.

This is my home, Benson.

And everyone here
is very dear to me.

Everyone here is my family.

Here, let me... That's all
right, Benson. I can do it.

Miss Ellie?

Yes, Benson?

You're doing a wonderful job.
Keep up the good work, Miss Ellie.

Thank you, Benson.

Benson,

you have just earned my
share of the strawberry tarts.

Strawberries give me hives.

Yeah, but who can see them?

I can't... Me, either.

I came down for
some... It's on the stove.

Benson, I've got to get
some sleep. Me, too.

I'm exhausted. Me, too.

And depressed. Me, too.

If I don't get some sleep
soon, I'll be a blithering idiot.

How do you want your milk?

Well, not too hot.
But take the chill off it.

How's warm?

I'll try it that way.

What's this?

Walter Whitley's name plate.

I found it in an office
in the East Wing.

They've been paying
the man for 14 years

and he hasn't even been here.

Well, I hope they
gave him notice.

They're investigating.

You know, it's
men like this Whitley

that undermine the
public's faith in government.

This man's a
cheat, a fraud, a...

Politician.

Oh, Benson, there's really
nothing wrong with our government,

it's the people who run it.

Yeah, I know.

Uh, Governor, about
my firing five of the staff...

Oh, Taylor told me
about poor Miss Ellie.

I don't know how you did it.

Well, actually...

No, no, no, don't
dwell on it, Benson.

I fired 6,302 people
today. I'm not dwelling on it.

Of course, I may
never sleep again.

Well, about Miss Ellie...
I didn't think I could do it.

The power to alter so many lives

by just one phone
call. Frightening.

Then I thought about you

and how painful
it must have been

to fire that dear, sweet,
old lady face to face,

knowing that she has
no hope for the future.

I thought, if you
could do that, well,

how could I shirk my duty?

You gave me the strength to live
up to my responsibilities, Benson.

Thank you.

Anytime.

The kitchen is closed.

Get to bed.

I'm getting under mine.

Sorry we woke you, Miss Kraus.

Good night. Good night!

If we put her out at night,

we wouldn't need the guard dogs.

Benson, you'll have to
excuse me. I'm... Me, too.

Good night, Benson.
Good night, Governor.

Good night. Good night.

Miss Ellie. Oh, good
morning, Benson.

Aren't they beautiful?

"Yes, Miss Ellie,
they're beautiful."

You have something to tell me.

Yes, ma'am. Why
don't we sit down?

No, thank you.

Come, Benson, out with it.

The world won't stop spinning.

Well, if you know
what I'm going to say,

why say it?

You don't seem like a man
who'd take the easy way out.

It's your job, Benson.

Do it.

I'm going to have to
let you go, Miss Ellie.

37 years, Benson.

It had to end sometime.

You tried to tell me yesterday.

But I made some calls and a
good pastry chef's hard to find.

We'll find something for you.

Oh, Benson,

nobody wants a
75-year-old pastry chef.

Nobody wants a
75-year-old anything.

To hell with them. Miss Ellie...

(SOBBING) You made her cry.

You didn't have to do that.

You said you'd help her.

I thought you were my friend,

but you don't care
about anybody.

You're gross and mean
and awful and rotten.

You're a mean person, Benson!

(SIGHING)

The child speaks the truth.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Katie, I want to talk about
what happened downstairs.

Now, just to set the
record straight, honey,

I'm responsible for
Miss Ellie leaving,

not Benson.

We have too many in government,
honey. We can't afford it anymore.

I had to fire over
6,000 people yesterday.

Yes, I did.

And I didn't know any of them,

so that made it a little easier.

Benson had to fire a sweet old
lady that he really cares about.

I know Miss Ellie's your
friend. So is Benson.

But he didn't... Just a
minute, honey. Let me finish.

You hurt him, Katie.
You made him feel bad.

Now you're both losing a
good friend in Miss Ellie.

Can you afford to lose
one another as well?

I know Benson can
use a friend right now.

How about you?

Benson, would you give me credit
for knowing what you're feeling?

After all, I learned something
from seven years on the couch.

You learned how
to irritate people.

You have been unjustly accused
of not caring about Miss Ellie.

Now you can't just tuck that
away in the subconscious

to fester and ferment
and create blockage.

With all that on your mind, how do
you expect to get any work done?

With my pencil.

I am just trying to help you.

I just thought you'd feel better

if you talked
it out, that's all.

Is that why you're
doing all the talking?

Katie is all
emotion at this age.

She didn't mean to accuse
you of extreme cruelty

and utter indifference
towards the aged.

Come on, look
on the bright side.

That wasn't it?

You okay?

(CAR APPROACHING)

Oh, Benson's home.

Not yet.

(DOGS BARKING)

God!

They almost got me that time.

But I'm still faster.

You will slow down.

How's Miss Ellie doing with
the new job you got for her?

Fine. She likes it a lot.

She sent us some
presents. Handmade.

Oh, how lovely. It
will match my boots.

And clash with the helmet.

Here's a little something else.

Oh, Miss Ellie's eclairs.

(EXCLAIMING) They are so good.

Not a calorie in them.

Hold it right there, Taylor.

Oh, no, sir. Sir,
I was here first.

Well, but rank
has its privileges.

Yes, but I want it.

Taylor, I am the governor.

With all due respect, sir, I don't
care if you're the Queen of England.

Now, now, now, now, we
must learn to share, mustn't we?

Oh, all right.

Okay, there you go.

NARRATOR: Benson is videotaped

before a studio audience.